Fate and Destiny
by LadyDi
Summary: He wanted to tell her so much of his love and its depth in this moment of epiphany, but settled for a deep kiss to the small, exposed part of her shoulder. Her hand rose and entwined his, holding it next to her breast in silent understanding.
1. Ch 1 6 2 2097

_"Why don't we remember our past lives? We do remember! The recognition of friends and familiar places, our particular interests, talents, convictions, and prejudices, are our soul's remembrance. Details of the past slip away, fortunately, as they do in this life. Platonists assure us, however, that through discipline and persistence we can develop our higher faculties and attain that 'mystical insight' that enables us to see what was and what will be. It is simply a matter of 'recollection'."_

She scoffed. 'Yea right, tell me another one...' Pushing the wire frames up, she continued on, suffering to get through this book.

_'The soul, then, as being immortal and having been born again many times and having seen all things that exist, whether in this world or in the world below, has knowledge of them all; and it is no wonder that she should be able to call to remembrance all that she ever knew about virtue, and about everything; for as all nature is akin, and the soul has learned all things, there is no difficulty in her eliciting or as men say learning, out of a single recollection all the rest, if a man is strenuous and does not faint; for all inquiry and all learning is but recollection.'—Plato"_

She sighed and pulled the wire frames off her nose, rubbing the bridge. Why was it in these late nights when she tried to get ANY type of studying done, they seemed to weigh more?

Shaking her head, deep green checked the clock. She sighed. 'Hurry UP! I'm tired and I want to go home!'

It was only two minutes to eleven. The place was empty, the last customer having come and gone fifteen minutes ago. She was all alone. But that didn't matter except now she could get some reading done for class.

"Oh the pains of extra credit..." She mused, taking a few seconds to stretch and rub her elbows.

'Note to self, next time bring a chair from the back room. Plastic countertops do not sit well with bone for long periods of time.' Smiling, she looked around the empty place to give her eyes something to do and a small break.

The large glass windows, a mere twenty feet from the counter she stood behind, were pitch black beyond the painted letters that marked the business. She knew the words on those panes without looking and was able to read them backwards, having been here what seemed forever already.

A sudden breeze from the overhead fans brought a whiff of hazelnut to her nose and it scrunched up. Not that she didn't like the smell, but she'd smelled it for the past four hours and it was going to make her nauseous soon.

Vowing to ignore her surroundings and finish up the last hour, waiting until the manager came in to close up, those deep green eyes went back to the book. Even if it was something she didn't believe, she WOULD get it read and learned for her report coming up. She wanted those extra credit points!

Twenty minutes later on the dot, the door opened and the bell attached to it rang.

She smiled, barely glancing from her book. Setting the bookmark in it, she closed it with a low thwump and set it below the top counter.

"Hey Tommy. You want your usual again?"

"Sure K. Same as always? Tax and all?"

She smiled and nodded, already turning for the coffee machines.

"So where's Chester tonight? You leave him at the chess club again? Or was it the beach house?" She teased, adding a teaspoon of sugar to the cappuccino mix.

"Naw, the old wussie passed out after too much Jack so I left him at my place."

She turned around and took the money without telling the middle-aged man the price, already knowing it was correct.

Absently pressing the price and depositing everything in the register, she looked at aged hazel with a raised brow. "You left him at your place? That's odd...you two normally hang out at the chess club until ten. Did something happen?"

She received a caring, wrinkled smile and gentle pat on the hand. "You're a sweet thing to worry about an old fogy like me. Just wanted a change of pace I guess."

Her brow furrowed, wondering about his answer. That didn't seem like Tommy...but she didn't know the man that well as she thought she did from their friendly chatter, so she wasn't allowed to press.

"So what were you reading THIS time? You're a little bookworm, you know that?" Tommy teased, blowing on his drink.

She smiled and pulled out the book with a wrinkled nose. Remembering her reading glasses, she took them off and set them where the book was.

"It's extra credit for Western Civilization in my English class. My teacher gave us book reports to do. If we read the book and do an informative paper on it in front of the class, she'll give us thirty points." Deep green rolled. "I feel like I'm back in middle school. Does that woman really think she's going to scare us with the thought of reading in front of twenty-five people?"

A raspy chuckle sounded and she was given another pat on the hand. "You've got a sharp tongue on you missy. Don't let it get you into trouble."

She grinned and looked behind the man at another regular, loyal customer this time of night. "And here's Roger!"

"Hey K." Roger called, giving a wave.

She leaned on the counter, propping her head up, and batted her lashes at the man. "How's my favorite elder gentleman?"

"You only say that because he's in the room." Roger muttered, giving Tommy a slap on the back. "You charmer you."

She giggled when she received a wink and set about making straight black coffee with a teaspoon of creamer.

"So you old goat, how's life been treating you?"

"Same as always Roger. Didn't you ask me that two nights ago?"

"Yea but you never know what happens near the shores."

She smiled at their antics and handed over the coffee, taking the money seconds later. Another who was such a regular; he knew the price with tax without being told.

"Here you are, for my man of the night."

"That wasn't a black jab was it K?"

She giggled, holding a hand in front of her mouth, and blinked in innocence. "Why Roger I have no idea what you mean."

Roger's dark eyes twinkled with a sly grin. A wrinkled finger waved in her direction. "You're mischievous, you know that?"

She leaned against the counter as the two took their seats, Tommy still holding her book over reincarnation. "So how come you're late Roger? You, Tommy, and Chester normally come in about the same time."

"These old bones don't move as fast as you younguns' do. You know I always walk here." Dark eyes looked to the book. "What're you reading THIS time?"

She laughed. "Tommy said the exact same thing. You should've walked in with him...I wouldn't have to explain myself again."

"You believe in this stuff K?"

Her lips pursed and she sighed. "Not a bit. But then, I don't really believe in any of those gods I hear so much about in any religion, and that all comes with it I guess."

Both men tsked. "That's the problem with youth. You don't believe anything you can't see." Roger muttered, going for the book.

"Either of you believe in God, or whoever?" She asked, head tilting a little.

"Devote Catholic here." Roger said, smiling proudly.

"Happy Protestant and you won't convert me, so don't try." Tommy kidded, wagging a finger in Roger's face.

She smiled at the two gentlemen's playful ways. "It's not that I don't believe what's in front of me...but how can one person be someone else after they die? Do you know what that means - scientifically? There would be no new souls on this earth; everyone would just keep cycling into new lives after they die and this world would be comprised of nothing but the same people for thousands of years."

"This world is pretty big K. I highly doubt THAT could happen." Roger muttered, rubbing the white stubble on his chin.

"You think too much about topics you should just leave to faith kid." Tommy muttered, leaning forward to hand the book back.

She tossed her upper body on top of the counter and reached out to grab it. Sliding off, knowing she could only get away with that in front of such people at dead business hours, she went to the corner and put the book in her backpack.

'Might as well finish up my homework in History of Science class. There's still a few text questions I hadn't finished before I got here.'

Grabbing the notebook, everything marked where she left off, she left the two to their small talk and plopped the thick book down, flipping to the page to get back to where she left off. Hands fumbled for the reading glasses underneath.

She didn't have to worry about anyone else. Tommy, Roger, and Chester were the only ones who came in so late and they weren't anyone to keep an eye on. They were just elderly gentleman who liked a late night caffeine pick-up and a little conversation here and there.

She liked the three elder men. All three were past their sixties - Roger past his seventies - and were very kind and friendly. They always offered to walk her home after her manager closed the shop, since she biked it home.

Coffee Works was only seven blocks away, hardly anything to worry about in her opinion, but they kept saying she could get mugged or worse.

She knew they were worry-warts from seeing bad things happen. But in this time and age, when crime was down to almost nothing and there were hardly any national scuffles, what could happen?

Really, it was a rather peaceful time anymore...

Her head jerked up in surprise at hearing the bell ring. Knowing she was only allowed to do homework when there wasn't anyone around, three late-nighters aside, she slammed the book shut and shuffled it under the counter as quickly as possible.

Fingers fumbled for her glasses. She wasn't worried about her appearance, but the glasses were only for reading and writing, plus she had enough comments in high school about doing extra homework.

Deep green took in the figure of a young man. Teeth bit the inside of her lip as she fought not to give a girlish smile.

He was cute. HIGHLY cute!

Leaning on the counter with a pleasant smile, fingers clasped together. "Hello. What can I get you?"

She met incredibly dark eyes and blinked. Were those brown or black? She couldn't tell and didn't want to look closer for a better inspection.

Those eyes averted to the board above as an arm rested on the counter. Out of the corner of her eye, she took note of the toned condition it was in...along with the nice tan.

Forcefully shaking her head, trying to keep from checking him out, she looked to his face again and took note of shaggy bangs sticking out of a backwards cap. She blinked.

Those bangs were bleached WHITE!

She looked to his eyebrows and found them black. What kind of person dyed their hair such an opposite color?

She had to admit though, even though it was white, he still looked nice. DAMN nice! His features were set in all the right places.

She took note of his eyes seeing a slant to them. He was orient? Nothing wrong with that - she found that slant rather attractive.

Suddenly, she was met with those indiscernible eyes again and tried not to flush when she received a charming smile.

"Didn't your parents teach you it's not polite to stare?"

She blinked wide eyes, feeling a little indignant, but bit her tongue. This was still a customer and drilled rules from the manager taught her to NEVER be rude to the customers unless necessary.

"I - I'm sorry sir -"

The words died when he sent a sly grin her way. "I was just kidding. I don't mind." She received a quick wink, off-setting her again as she dumbly registered his order.

It took a second before she whirled around and mechanically did as told. After giving the total, she handed over the Styrofoam cup and fought a smile as his fingers came into contact with hers.

After taking the change, she felt a little warmer than the normal hot temperatures and took a step back when he leaned on the counter.

"So...you live here?"

"Y - yes." She muttered, wondering what he was getting at. She wasn't much for flirting.

She got another charming grin as the man sipped his drink. "Good. I need to get some information around here."

She dumbly blinked again, probably more than normal. "You don't live here?"

"Nope, I'm mainland. But I needed a caffeine boost and a recommendation on a hotel while I checked the city out. Or whatever's good."

If she could've laughed, she would've.

A smile popped up and she stepped back to the counter. "Well, Miami is pretty busy and kinda expensive, but there are a lot of good hotels around here. The Hyatt for one..." She bit her lip to keep from adding what she wanted to say.

It would prove interesting if this man actually followed her little tourist bit, along with amusing.

"Thanks cutie." He pushed away from the counter and headed for the entrance. Just as he had the door open and was in the entrance way, the youth paused. "By the way, what's your name?"

She minutely startled as if pricked. He wanted to know her name? Why?? Well...

"People around here call me K." She gave a small nod.

He returned it with the same friendly smile. "Inaki. Thanks for the help K." With that, he gave a final wave and let the door shut behind him.

Her head propped up on the counter as she watched him through the large panes, eyes drawn to the way baggy jean shorts would sway low on his hips...even with the belt to hold them up. The way his arm muscles clenched and flowed when he lifted that cup to his mouth with that chiseled jaw of his...

An amusing clearing of throat gained her attention and she blushed, jumping from the counter.

Green blinked and met two pairs of highly amused eyes, crinkling with a knowing look.

"Like what you see K?"

"Don't look like that, I feel like a protective father who needs to go beat that boy for looking at you."

She flushed even more and looked to the tile floor with a sheepish smile. Hands went to her cheeks to hide a flush. "Cut it out you guys..." She muttered, getting chuckling in return.

There was no way to get back into her History of Science homework - not after seeing that cute guy Inaki. One question she had...was Inaki his first name, or last?

Oh she tried. She actually went back to her homework, trying to pick up where she left off and erase the long pencil mark that got put on when she tried to put everything away. It was just no use.

She kept seeing those eyes of his. Were they brown? Or were they black?

Whatever they were, the lead kept reminding her of his irises.

Her lips pursed as she gave up and put everything back in her bag. Five minutes till closing - she wasn't going to get anything else done. At least she had less than when she dragged the book out.

The remainder was spent closing the register and shutting off all coffee machines and such. By the time she finished, the manager and owner Charlie walked in, enticingly jangling his keys in the entranceway.

She smiled when she met him. The man was a little strict when it came to his business, as he owned Coffee Works, but he had a good heart deep down and that's what counted.

"I figured you would've had your bike out and your bag already slung over your shoulders by now." Charlie mused, giving an odd look.

"K's trying to get her pulse back to normal after meeting that Inaki boy." Tommy added, sending a sly grin across the counter.

She gave another sheepish smile and looked to Charlie. "It was nothing really...just a rare late-nighter in need of coffee."

Roger walked up and playfully elbowed Charlie in the arm. "She only says that because she doesn't wanna get in trouble. But you weren't here twenty minutes ago."

She heaved a sigh and stared at the ceiling, fighting that same blush. Roger and Tommy were good men, but slightly perverted, as old men tended to be.

"Anyways...let's head out. It's now midnight and this place is going to open up in eight hours." Charlie sidetracked, jangling the keys again.

"Hey at least it won't be ME opening." She playfully called, standing and gripping the weighted bag. With a small grunt, she got the bulk situated and headed to the back room.

Even though there were bike racks around the city - and one only half a block away from the corner, she wasn't taking chances. This was the only transportation she had, being a poor college student, she wouldn't be able to get anything else for a while.

Charlie's example of good heart was allowing her to store the expensive mountain bike in the back room near storage, as long as she road it through the back door when she arrived.

Charlie knew how much that bike cost her, and how much sentimental value it had...

Lightly gripping the handlebars, she wheeled it around the front counter and out the front door that Roger graciously held open for her. She smiled in thanks and straddled the seat, waiting as Charlie locked up.

After the final click of the second deadbolt, Charlie turned and shooed the three from the front window. "Go on you three. Go home and get some sleep! K you've got classes tomorrow and you don't need to be falling behind. Roger, you'd better get home before some cop thinks you're a wandering drunk. Tommy...you'd better go find Chester and get him out of trouble, unless you PUT him in it."

The three smiled as Roger grumbled over Charlie's comment and headed up the walk, Charlie for his car out front.

She walked the bike in pace with the two, letting comfortable silence and the sounds of night envelope them.

The three would normally walk her out of the downtown district before going their separate ways. That was only three blocks, but it was still nearly half her trip.

She was always grateful to know such nice people, even if they were three times her age.

After the third block, promising she'd hurry right home and not stop to talk to strangers, she pedaled away with loud goodbyes. The ride was swift, as she didn't like strangers much anyway, and it didn't take long to get home.

A leg swung around the bike and she walked it to the small backyard, chaining it to the pillar on the porch. That done, she headed inside the back door as normal, locking the deadbolt behind her.

Clicking a light on gave her the scare of a lifetime.

Stifling a small scream, not wanting to alert or worry the whole neighborhood, a hand went to her heart. She heaved a deep breath, glaring at the dining room table.

"What're you doing with the lights off?? You SCARED the CRAP outa me!"

"As showed. You want some ice cream with me?"

A dark brow rose as she looked at her roommate and friend oddly. "At midnight?? I for one would like to go to bed. It's been a long day and I smell like coffee."

A quiet sniff rent the air. "Yup. Hazelnut and," Another sniff, "Irish cream. Nice." A full spoon wobbled in the air. "You sure? It's French vanilla. Your favorite."

Teeth grit as she stared at the ceiling. Damn the woman! "You had to bring up my secret vice..."

"Of course I did. Now grab a spoon from the drawer and join me. It's too damn hot, even at night."

Her brow furrowed again as she obeyed and grabbed an ice cream spoon from the drawer. "I thought you had the air conditioning on seventy-five again?"

"Are you kidding? Do you KNOW what the temperature got up to today? One hundred and SIX! And that's WITH humidity! I had that baby jacked down to sixty-eight!"

She groaned and dipped the spoon in. "Do you know how bad that is on the a.c.? Not to mention the energy bills??"

"Hey, you were at school with your extra credit, in a place that you don't have to WORRY about paying the bill for! I, on the other hand, was stuck here from two to four thirty. This place was roasting...even in the basement!"

"Yea, yea...you always gripe like this, you know that?"

"Well it IS hot outside!"

"This coming from someone whose ancestry came from Cuba."

"Hey, that's only PART of it."

"You can't use that excuse forever." She grinned and went to put the spoon in the dishwasher.

After shutting the door with a click, she stretched. "I'm turning in. Please don't down that again. That's all I've had out of that container since we bought it. I'd like to have some more, or you're buying me another container."

"Who do you think bought the LAST one?"

She smirked. "And why was that?"

"Hey...it was Sunday and that was the last of the carton. Sue me."

Dark brown shook in amusement as her eyes drooped. She covered a yawn and reached down to give a brief pat on her friend's shoulder. "Whatever you say..." She mumbled, a hand waving.

"Night K."

"Night Sammy."


	2. Ch 2

'I really HATE pop quizzes!'

Setting everything underneath as ordered and clicking the mechanical pencil to get some lead, she heaved a mental sigh and grit her teeth as a paper was set in front of her.

'Stupid, old fart never said ANYTHING about this on Monday.' Fingers rubbed her forehead wearily. 'He didn't even give me, or probably ANYONE, time to study. Does he expect us ALL to be a chapter ahead? Naw - that'd catch us up with HIM.'

Dark green speared the paper with a fierce glare. She hated tests like this. Not as much as she hated semesters, but she hated tests...especially when she hadn't had enough time to study in advance.

Her head was still swimming with everything she took notes on in her Western Civilization class ten minutes ago, and now she had to switch gears from one history class to a History of Science class.

With another sigh and brief look around to see everyone else already starting, she braced herself and joined them. There was only fifty minutes to the class and it was going to take almost half that to get the quiz finished. After that, they would most likely hand over homework from Monday and start right in with the next lesson.

It wasn't that she didn't know this class - she just didn't like being put under the spot. Grades were really important and she always tried to study hard for every class whenever humanely possible.

Her intent was to graduate with honors, and hopefully with above a three-point-five. She wanted to put that financial aide too good use instead of wasting her college career. And the higher her grades, the easier it was to find a job in the history field.

It didn't take long to finish. After she calmed down and concentrated, everything became easier.

"Five minutes left."

She looked up and smiled. She was already done. The quiz wasn't THAT hard. It was just over stuff she already knew and once her mind opened up that stored information, the rest was easy.

It was more heartening to see a few people still working on their quizzes.

"Time. Stop and pass your papers forward."

After handing hers up with the others behind her, she went for the notebook currently holding this chapter's notes. As she started going for her textbook, chalk sounded on the board.

~*~*~

"Hey K, wait up!"

The voice milled above the hum of other students, bouncing off the concrete passage next to the library building.

Hands quickly gripped the breaks on her handlebars as a foot set to the ground. Green looked behind, smiling in greeting as she waited.

She continued to follow the body until it stopped and situated a book bag. "Hey Chance. You're getting out of shape." She teased, starting to walk the bike forward.

"And just when I wanted to walk with you too!" Chance huffed. "I'll have you know I make good use of this college's pool, thank you." Hands idly held the straps in place as the two cut a path through pillars holding up part of the building and around the masses.

"Yea I know. That would be why you're on the swim team."

"Then why the jab at my expense?"

She smiled and looked forward. "For being on the swim team, you sure LOOKED out of breath."

"If I weren't so nice, I'd knock you off that bike of yours."

She playfully glared. "Do and I don't share my calculator with you today."

A huff sounded as arms crossed. "You just don't know how to take a joke. At least not when it concerns that bike of yours..."

She chuckled as the two were met with sun from being sheltered with the building and crossed the parking lot.

Green squinted under the harsh light and checked the tall concrete clock not too far away. "We're not going to make it to the math building if I have to walk my bike next to you."

"Excuse me for having a car."

She smirked. Looking both ways as if worrying about getting caught, mischievous green turned to Chance. "Hop on - I'll give you a ride and we MIGHT make it to the second floor on time."

"I thought you'd never ask." The athletic body sat on the seat, hands going around her trim waist. A thought quickly appeared. "You ever do this before?"

"There's a first time for everything." She kidded. With a harsh pedal for momentum, she gained a cry as the bike swiveled on the concrete and jolted her passenger backwards.

As she turned the bike around the corner, she yelped and startled. "Hey! Watch those hands Chance!"

As carefully as possible, hands moved lower to the waist. "Hey, I'm a girl! And I can't help it...I thought you were trying to throw me off for a second there!"

She snorted and in no time, the two arrived at the bike racks. Quickly chaining her precious bike, she hefted the bag onto her shoulders and the two hurried inside.

~*~*~

"I'm BACK!"

Barely glancing up from the words a foot in front of her face, she pushed wire-rimmed glasses up and kept on.

"I see SOMEONE didn't wait for me after class either."

She ignored the muffled voice and wrote down an answer to another problem. Ears idly listened as footsteps stomped up the old wood steps.

She put the plastic pencil down and stretched. Anytime now that door was going to burst open in five, four, three -

"You're such a turd, you know that?"

Hmm...she was off on her counting. Better start learning to focus on her friend's arrival sooner.

Leaning on the back of the desk chair, she turned with an odd look. "Not much of a retort, you know that? If it was me coming up to disturb YOU from your studies, I would've used bitch." With a grin, a hand rose and took off her glasses.

A tongue stuck out before moving to her desk. "NOW what homework are you doing?"

A thumb and index finger rubbed where the nose pads were. She was never going to get used to those things.

"Introduction to Applied Probability and Statistics. Teacher gave us some homework problems to do and this is hard." A hand rubbed her temple as she stared at her notes. A small grimace appeared as she saw how used the paper was. And out of the thirty problems, she only had twelve finished.

A hand rested on her shoulder. "That's what you get for not having the brains for math."

Part of her face scrunched up. "I wish I was gifted with more...but I'm not that lucky I guess." Her head fell back to the top of the chair. A small smile appeared. "That's why I get you to help me study."

A pert nose scrunched up. "I'm no brain. Why're you asking ME this?"

"But SAMMYYY!"

Hands went over Sammy's ears. "Gah! Don't whine my name like that. It's irritating!"

A grin appeared. "Is it working to get you to help me?"

Sammy gave a small scowl, trying to be irritated at her friend. "You're vicious. You know I'll always try to help you as best as I can Just...please don't say my name like that in the future. PLEASE."

She giggled and shut the math book. "I can go for food. What time is it?"

"Almost one."

"Lunch it is then." She paused halfway out of the chair. "Um...do we have anything to COOK in this place?"

Light blue blinked. "Uh..."

She sighed and pushed the chair in. "I take that as a no. Well then, the next question is how much can we afford to blow on an outing?"

A smile lit the room. "I'm paying! But you drive."

Green rolled in amusement. "Fine I'll drive YOUR car. I would've liked to switch," Sammy's mouth opened, "but since you offered to pay...you're paying this time."

Light blue glared. "You're buying next time." Sammy nearly bounded to the bedroom door at the possibility of eating out and stopped. "But don't think I'll forget. This is getting marked down in my calendar."

She giggled and her head shook. With a final look at her homework - what she could finish later at Coffee Works if need be - she followed her roommate out. "I bought last time. You were the one who devised the pay system, remember?"

A hand waved. "Yea, yea. Sue me. I just got back from classes; my brain isn't working that well yet."

"Oh don't try that excuse on me! I just got done with homework for the time being. We're even."

"Whatever chica...I'm still blaming college on my lack of brain cells right now."

"Seeing as how college is supposed to do the opposite, that's not saying much."

Sammy laughed as she locked the front door behind them.

~*~*~

Making sure not to spill their drinks, she headed over to the table in the sidewalk café and carefully set it before her friend. "Dinner is served." She joked, using a fake French accent.

"Yea, food!"

Shaking her head, she plopped down and unwrapped a cold sub, happily taking a bite.

They ate here when they could afford it, though that wasn't often. She didn't mind cooking and rather enjoyed it. It was nice because Samantha liked to eat, so they made a good team. Plus Sammy was one to try out new, experimental dishes on and the girl never complained about the taste unless it was outright horrible.

"I just love downtown, don't you?"

She jerked to the outside world and looked around. Coffee Works stood on the opposite end of the block. "Don't mention this area. I have to come back in a few hours."

Samantha giggled. "I have to work before you do so don't complain." That pert nose scrunched up. "At least you get to have two more hours of freedom than I do."

"Yea, but I don't get home till midnight, so you're better off."

"Hey, I close the store with the others you know..." Silence. Light blue looked up. "K? What's up?"

Ash blonde hair swiveled with her upper body as Samantha looked behind at whatever held those green eyes attentive and not keeping the pleasant retort going.

She could've SWORN she saw him! But that was impossible...he said he was mainland, didn't he? What would he be doing here? 

Unless...he was STILL here... Her head mentally shook. It had to've been a flash of sun glinting off one of the solar-powered cars or something. Perhaps a WHITE solar-powered car?

That was crazy. Did she want to see him again? She didn't know anything about him! All she had was a name and she didn't even know if it was his first or last!

A hand suddenly plopped down on her head and she startled.

"Boy, when you get out of it, you don't even know anyone else exists, do you?"

She scowled and swatted the hand away. "Oh hush."

"What'd you see?"

She purposely went back to her food, ignoring her friend. Samantha was a good person, but meddled where it wasn't needed.

"It was nothing really. Thought I saw something."

A manicured brow rose. "Like what?" That slightly overweight body swiveled behind again to take the area in.

"Someone." She mumbled, taking a sip to keep from further explanation.

That body turned back, a smile on Samantha's face. "Oh?" She mused, that voice hinting at something. "Was he cute?"

Dark brows knit together. "I didn't see anything. I THOUGHT I did, but it could've just been the shine to a car."

Ash brows copied dark brown. "What do you THINK you saw?"

She fought a sigh and took another bite of the sub. She knew it was a bad idea to talk about it.

She knew mentioning Inaki to Sam was going to get a full hour of gushing and questions about the guy before she was pushed to locate and ask him out. She didn't want that - she just wanted to focus on school and work.

She didn't want to get involved with men again, they just kept hurting her too much...

As much as she envied happy couples, she was figuring herself to be forever alone...even if she hadn't dated many men in her lifetime. It seemed whoever she did date physically used her or emotionally manipulated her in a way.

She sure knew how to pick them.

Samantha put her drink down and subtly eyed the look on her friend's face. She knew by that look it was wise to shut up, as the downcast expression to those green eyes was turning depressive. Having learned in the past about some of her friend's relationships, Samantha knew when to shut up about men.

Well...MOST of the time.

Clearing her throat, Samantha poked an arm and went for her pop again. "Eat up missy...it's getting late and you've got homework and work soon. Not as soon as I do, but still... I wanna get out of this heat too!"

Green rolled, even though a smile started blossoming. "You and your heat. Why do you live in Florida then?"

That cute, chubby face pouted. "You think it was MY idea to be born here?? If I had my choice, I'd probably be up someplace in Jersey or something."

She smiled and grabbed her sub.

~*~*~

Night thankfully rolled around and left her with silence as Samantha headed to the mall for work.

She lay on top of an unmade bed, staring at the ceiling. She still hadn't been able to kick the funk that mysteriously approached during lunch and hadn't totally left.

She wasn't able to concentrate on homework, unable to do math even less by thinking this way. Not that it wasn't nice to keep from working on math, but she hated getting behind in homework.

Green dully went to her desk, staring at the pulled out chair she left minutes ago. She should get back...

She had to get done.

She didn't have time to think of her screwed-up love live.

She shouldn't -

Quickly rolling over, she buried her head in the pillow and heaved a shaky sigh.

She didn't sob or loudly cry like some people would do when they remembered past boyfriends and loves. The salty liquid just quietly wet her pillow as she stared at the wall.

Her mind was thankfully blank for once; unlike the past few times she gave in and let tears come. Many times she would always ask herself what she did wrong, or what she did to deserve such harsh or unfair treatment.

Why did guys have to be such dicks?

She blinked and slowly sat up. A hand rose at snail's speed and wiped her cheeks.

After blankly staring at her pillow, she heaved a sigh. Dull green swayed to the nightstand by her bed. She didn't have time for this crap...

It was already a little past six. She had to get dressed, put whatever homework she was going to use in her bag, grab a quick bite and pack something small later, and get to work.

Wasted relationships could wait. She had a paycheck to earn.

~*~*~

'X equals two...and Y equals six...and carry the one over... Then the answer is......seven?'

A pencil rapidly tapped on the countertop in thought. Teeth nibbled on her lower lip in concentration as her brain tried to work the problem without aid of the calculator she forgot on her desk.

If anyone walked in, she didn't know until they waved a hand in front of her face.

Finally, someone cleared their throat and she nearly jumped through the ceiling. The pencil clacked onto linoleum behind the counter and she went to retrieve it.

"Is it ten already?"

"Yup, I'm heading out."

She smiled and nodded. "Later Casey. See ya same time tomorrow chica."

A hand rose and waved. "Bye K."

Now by herself to handle the last two hours, she pulled the glasses off and rubbed her eyes. All the small math print was getting to her and she only managed to get five more problems done in the past three hours. Granted those three hours were mostly due to work and she did a few during her fifteen minutes, but now was time to catch up.

She didn't really loathe math...but she just didn't have a head for numbers like some people she knew. She wanted to have brains like those people she knew in Calculus two before her class. She barely understood Geometry, let alone Trigonometry!

With a sigh, she situated the glasses again and settled in for a long hour of homework. Not many people came in after ten, as most reasonable people were in bed, so she was lucky. Even if Charlie kept this place open for the occasional late traveler - or semester exam college student pulling an all-nighter - it wasn't cost effective to keep two workers past ten. Since it was her and Casey, she opted to work till closing, allowing her to catch up on homework, yet still make money.

What better way to go?

At the stroke of eleven, the door opened and she closed the book, not looking up. A friendly smile lit her face as she took off her glasses, hands rubbing her eyes.

Finally, a break!

"Hitting the books again K?"

"You're going to let life pass you by if you keep that up."

"Don't listen to the old codger! A good education is essential to life!"

"Hi Tommy, Roger, Chester. The usual coming up." Her spirits lifted as she went into mechanical mode of making a round of orders.

Just like clockwork...

"So K...Tommy here was telling me about a young man you had your eye on two nights ago."

She nearly spilt hot coffee all over her hands.

With a heady blush, she quickly set the lid on and handed Roger's over, taking money from him. She ignored Chester's comment, though she couldn't hide the small grin.

"See Chester? I TOLD you I wasn't lying...that smile right there speaks for me."

"Yea, yea... You don't need to tell me AGAIN."

She busied herself with Tommy's mix, but kept an avid ear open for their talk.

As she handed Tommy his and took money in exchange, she eyed the man. "What do you three discuss when it concerns my nonexistent love life??"

The three elder men grinned.

"I always said a fine thing like you was saving herself for the right person and are single." Roger answered, giving a grin.

She smiled and turned around for Chester's coffee.

"I always told them you had a boyfriend." Chester added.

Her heart pinged a little as Chester unknowingly brought her last relationship to the surface, but she ignored it and went for the hazelnut syrup.

He didn't know...he didn't know...

None of them knew about her relationships. That was something private and these three were work acquaintances. You didn't tell work acquaintances your deep, dark secrets. That was something you kept for your good friends. As much as she liked these men and enjoyed their company and repartee, she wasn't intent on making friends out of customers.

"Me? I said you were going out with ME!" Tommy kidded, thumping his chest with a fist.

She laughed and set Chester's drink on the counter before it spilled. Her head shook, shoulder-length hair flying.

"In your dreams, you old fogy! If she had anyone, she'd date ME - right K?" Roger insisted, lightly slapping the counter.

She giggled and took Chester's money.

"You wish you old man. You're the oldest out of all three of us!" Tommy retorted.

She looked to the ceiling in helpless amusement. It was so nice to have people around to take her mind off her problems.

"Gentlemen!" She called, grinning. Hands waved in between them. "You are all very nice men. You're friendly, polite, caring to someone you don't even know...and I'm sure if you were three times less the age you are now, that I'd spare you ALL a second glance." She giggled at the pout looks to their age. "And moving on...I'm in need of assistance. Would you three polite gentlemen care to help a damsel in distress with her college math?"

"Math eh? Which type?"

"We can give it the old heave-ho."

She smiled, thankful for more heads to help, and pulled the book to the counter.

"What type of math is THIS?" Tommy wondered, flipping through the table of contents with a wondering gaze.

She smiled and took a deep breath. "It deals with the basic concepts of probability, descriptive statistics, and statistical interference...including point estimation, confidence intervals, and hypothesis testing." She quoted, remembering what the course description said. Too bad she couldn't remember the equations in the class.

Three pairs of eyes blinked across the counter. "What type of math is THAT?" Chester echoed, giving an odd look.

"Highly complicated." She muttered, leaning on the counter. She took the book from Tommy's hands and opened it to where she left off.

Taking her notebook and pencil, she set them so both could see and scrunched her nose a bit. "I'm having problems working this right here. Does anyone know Geometry or Trig?"

"I graduated Calculus in college and my brain shouldn't be that rusty...I can see what I can do."

She gratefully smiled. "You're a lifesaver Roger!"

The old man beamed and leaned against the counter. "So why don't you old-schoolers go enjoy your coffee and let the brains work?" He ribbed, smugly grinning.

The two playfully scowled, but sat at a nearby table and watched.

~*~*~

By the time the store closed, she ended up looking to the front door about half a dozen times in the past half hour or so. It wasn't to see if Charlie was going to stroll through, jangling those keys of his either.

She was looking for Inaki.

She didn't know what it was...perhaps she was looking for confirmation that she actually DID see him this afternoon.

That was a lame excuse. She wanted to see him again, even once. But surely, someone with his charm and looks was already snagged. She tried not to let that important thought get her down.

She was attracted to him - she admitted it. It was probably by the fifth time her eyes so casually looked up to 'rest' them.

It was kind of a letdown that he never showed. He was just another cute guy from the mainland most likely passing through and needed a late-night cup to keep him going.

She didn't even know which part of the state he lived in...or if he even lived in Florida.

She fought the urge to sigh as she shouldered her bag. As Charlie locked the deadbolts, she put the kickstand on and hugged Roger. "Thanks for all your help. I never would've gotten my homework done otherwise."

Roger gave a parental pat on her head. "Glad to help K. Something to pay back for your friendship."

She smiled and went to her bike, starting the routine of walking home.

**Spanish language will be translated under the Japanese when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.**

**Translations: **Chica-Girl


	3. Ch 3

The dawn came all too soon. Weekends were for sleeping in and playing around! Who wanted to get up early on a Saturday when one didn't HAVE to?

That was probably the most rhetorical question of the day, but he didn't dwell on it. He was more concerned with the quiet snoring in the darkened room...

...Along with the elbow nearly trying to bend his spine into scoliosis proportions.

"Dude...move over." He grumbled, pushing that arm away. With a groan, it flopped over his shoulder and he batted it away again.

Oh if he had a camera, Chass would never live it down.

And he would never live to see his twenty-third birthday.

"Come ON man..." He moaned, edging over. All he wanted to do was sleep...was that too much to ask?

The hand flopped in between the little bit of space as his bed roommate inched over a little bit in his sleep.

"If he thinks he's holding Gretta..." He sleepily growled, eyes squeezing. There would be harsh retribution to pay if his friend was thinking about his girlfriend in his sleep.

For a guy, that normally meant one thing.

He grimaced and shoved the covers away. "That's it, I'm up." He muttered, putting a hand against the wall to steady himself. He gave a brief yawn and traced the wall till he cleared the bed, walking around the junk on the floor.

Now in the middle of the room, arms stretched and popped a few joints to wake them up. He yawned again and looked at his attire, wondering if it was okay to go out in. T-shirt and boxers.

Sleepily blinking, squinting at the morning rays escaping the confines of dark drapes, he ambled for his bag and pulled out a pair of sweatpants.

He grabbed a room key and headed into the main hallway. It was a good idea to get breakfast. Dark eyes quickly spied a clock to check the time. After all...it wasn't even nine yet.

Silently plodding down the hall barefoot, he headed a short ways to the elevator and gave his eyes another rest on the way down.

As he strolled across the ground floor, dark eyes took in the area. Enticing smells of breakfast drew his nose and, being a growing boy, followed it to quell his stomach before it growled.

The place was rather nice for the price it was to get a double queen room. The four of them chipped in to get one for the weekend, for what had to be the most important event in the history of their young lives yet. That didn't say much for Chass as he was the youngest of the group, but it was still big.

Big, big. Huge!

'The musketeers shall go to the 'End of all summer concerts-the Alternative Blowout' and get THE best seats in the house, damn it.' A sleepy grin appeared as he took in the breakfast area. It was a cozy little nook, he had to admit. To top it off, there was only one person in there and that was a worker.

All that food was his for the picking.

Dark eyes instinctively roamed a female figure. A charming grin tipped his lips.

The body was a little big, but wasn't unattractive. Layered, ash blond hair went to her shoulders. When she turned, and mildly startled from his entrance, he came face to face with light blue eyes.

It was too bad he was already taken, or he would've tried his chances.

Dark eyes took in the girl's motives and narrowed in calculation. A hand scratched the back of his head, expecting his normal braid to be there. He mentally slapped himself at finding near stubble instead. 'Damn dares. You'd think I wouldn't fall for it that easy.'

"Oi ojou-san...is the area closed?"

Light blue blinked before she smiled. "Breakfast closes at nine sir...but if you want, I can let you have something before I clean up."

He was given a smile in return and couldn't help the charming grin that eased another notch. "Thanks. I'll do just that." He passed her and looked at all the goodies, settling for junk food this time rather than his normal. He smirked. The guys were going to sleep right through breakfast. This was going to be priceless!

Adding creamer to coffee, he sat at the table and grabbed a set of tv controllers at the table over and flipped through channels aimlessly.

He wasn't really paying attention, as he rarely watched tv much, unless it was with the others. He didn't watch it at breakfast, as his family had compulsions against having one in the dining room area.

Finally turning the tv off, he set the controllers down and sipped his coffee.

A few minutes later, immersed in total quiet, he heard a voice he SWORE he recognized.

He almost burnt himself on his coffee.

~*~*~

"Good morning, thank you for calling the Miami Hyatt. How may I help you?" Deep green followed her friend as the girl passed the front desk with breakfast supplies and idly listened to the person on the phone. She sprang to attention and went to the nearest computer, pulling up the availabilities.

A phone rang as she booked another room and Sammy breezed out and answered it in the same friendly voice with the same introduction.

After hanging up, she sat back in the high stool set there for front desk clerks and not even a second later, the phone rang again.

As she hung up with another call of many, she gave Samantha a look. "What was that look for?"

Samantha didn't look away from the screen she was using. "What look?" Ash furrowed in confusion.

"The one you had on your face earlier when you brought supplies back to the fridge."

A sly grin lit Samantha's face. "Wouldn't YOU like to know..."

"Fine, don't tell me."

"Okay - you twisted my arm." Putting the screen on the main index, light blue eagerly met green. "There's this guy -"

The phone rang and her hand snatched it first. "Good morning, thank you for calling the Miami Hyatt. How may I help you?" Not waiting that long - knowing their gossip could wait, Samantha left her to the call and headed back to the breakfast area.

She was done by the time the girl returned and waited long enough for her to put everything away and come back out. "You were saying?"

Samantha paused in front of the door and gave a look to the manager's door nearby before shutting the front desk door. A wide grin sprouted and she pulled up another chair. "Okay as I was saying...there's this guy in the breakfast area. Cute as hell! He was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants...but you wanna talk about sleep-ruffled sexy!"

She grinned and fought not to laugh at Samantha's behavior. If her friend hadn't mentioned to stay single until her senior year when most of her credits were accumulated and the stress was lowered, Samantha would've already had a boyfriend with as much as those eyes roamed.

Another call came up, ending their small talk and Samantha put the stool aside and headed out, partially to see if the young man was still around. She was proven correct and fought to keep an even composure. He was just sitting there, sipping his coffee as if he had all the time in the world.

"Oi ojou-san...where's your front desk at from here?"

Samantha stopped at the counter and turned with a blink. "It's a little ways down the hall and to your left sir. Is there a problem?" Ash furrowed. The two friends had the same morning shift and nothing went wrong if they could help it.

A disarming smile appeared. "No, no problem. I just heard a voice I thought I recognized. Thought I'd go check it out for myself."

Ash show up to Samantha's hairline. If only she was that lucky... But that raised the question...where did K know this cute guy from?

Some girls had all the luck.

A smile popped up as she started heading back. "You're welcome to look around sir. Just understand mornings are pretty busy on the phone."

Downing the rest of his coffee and licking his fingers of the pudding-filled donut, he tossed everything in the trash and followed. Rounding the corner, his steps halted as if he ran into an invisible wall.

It was HER!

Black brows furrowed as he watched her talk to the blond before being interrupted by a call. There was no question about it - that was the same girl he saw only a few days ago. Then what was she doing working...here...

His eyes closed in amusement as his head shook. Talk about good advertisement!

So...the chick - K if he remembered rightly - held down two jobs? How responsible.

A hand quickly tried to put his unruly hair back in order. With a swipe to his mouth to make sure everything was clear, he cleaned off his hands and strode over, a charming smile on his face. Not a good, long-lasting impression to look like a TOTAL slob first thing in the morning...

~*~*~

"Oh god, don't look now K, but that guy is walking this way!"

Deep green instinctively looked up and widened. It was HIM!

Deep brown furrowed as she looked away and finished putting the screen on the index for future use. Quietly clearing her throat, she glared at Samantha when the girl lightly kicked her behind the high counter and went to the breakfast area.

Leaving them alone.

The little matchmaker!

With a thumping heart, she pasted on a courteous smile and folded hands on the lower section of the desk. "Hello sir, we meet again."

His arms rested on the top that reached his chest as he leaned on marble. "So it seems. Nice advertising job there." He joked, sending a wink.

She fought not to blush as she subtly eyed his face. Samantha was highly correct about his sleep-ruffled appearance!

Mentally slapping herself, she sat back on the stool. "Well you asked and I was just offering someplace I knew of. At least the Hyatt is a pretty nice joint as far as hotels go. You could've picked worse."

He grinned. "I'm sure I could've. So...you work here in the mornings and that coffee place at night?"

She felt a little discomfited at telling this Inaki something about herself, especially since he was a customer. Customers didn't need to know details about her life. 

"No I - I only work here on the weekends. The weekdays I work at Coffee Works at night."

A black brow rose. His stare to her dark eyes - one he was trying to pinpoint the exact color of - was taken off as the blonde strode back with another armload of food.

"Then what do you do with all that other free time?"

She felt like fidgeting. Mentally, she wished Sammy would come up front and butt in to save her.

Why hadn't a phone RUNG yet? All morning, ring, ring, ring...and now NOTHING. She felt like sweating. Especially under that stare he was giving. But under morning light, she knew what color those eyes were. Dark brown. So dark you could barely see the pupils.

"Well...I attend college during the weekdays...and I've got classes this afternoon." Why was she telling him this? Was she rambling like this on PURPOSE?

Samantha blurred past, a smug smile on her face and she fought not to clench her hands and teeth, or glare.

'Samantha Merth - you are SO dead when I get five minutes!' She darkly vowed. Even if she wasn't going to outright kill her best friend, Sammy would be buying groceries by the time this conversation was over with!

His lips pursed as he stared. She didn't seem very comfortable for someone who was supposed to deal with a lot of people on a daily basis. Was it him? Or his questions?

"Hmm...that sounds incredibly boring...what do you do for FUN around here?" He noticed how she shifted a little bit and looked away. How that smile drooped the tiniest of degrees... "That's a total tourist opinion. I need to find something to do till tomorrow rolls around. Know of any place?"

She blinked, but searched her mind. It was required that she know favorite hangouts in the city for tourists who asked that question. "Well...that depends on what kind of stuff you like to do. We have plenty of strip malls here and a few big ones near FSU. There's the coast halfway across the city in case you like water. We have nature trails that stretch for a few miles... There's bars, dance clubs... Plenty of things." She shrugged.

She didn't know half of what she mentioned; only knowing because it was in the phone book or because Sammy went there. The only thing she ever did for fun was walk the trails or sit on the sand and watch the waves. Though she didn't like water, she liked watching the waves as they rolled in and out of the shore.

A call nearly startled her to attention and with an apologetic smile - one she didn't really feel - a hand whipped to the phone. "Good morning, thank you for calling the Miami Hyatt. How may I help you?"

Samantha walked back and set the last of the things in appropriate places. As soon as she walked to the front to see how the two were getting along, fighting not to grin at how everything set itself up, she was met with murderous green. Blinking in stupefaction, Samantha wasn't given time to head back to the breakfast area. In half a dozen steps, K crossed the area and latched onto her hand.

"If you will excuse me sir -"

"Inaki. I told you last time we met."

"- ah...Inaki. I must discuss something with my co-worker." After a strained smile, she drug Samantha to the kitchen area and spun with a fierce glare. She waited for ten seconds to make sure Inaki at least left some of the area before starting in. "You are SO gonna get it!" She growled.

Samantha grinned. "What's the matter? Got a crush on him already?"

Her face tinged and she looked away. "I am NOT dating a customer!" She denied. "Not to mention that guy told me he was mainland! That wouldn't work out! And -" She stopped and put a hand over her face. "I am not explaining myself to you."

That grin widened. "Good, because I suggest you ask him out."

"WHAT?!" She squeaked, voice cracking. Hands slapped over her mouth to keep her voice down, fearing she'd been overheard. Deep green momentarily looked to what she could see in the front desk area.

"You heard me. You're still young and your hearing works perfectly." Samantha answered, ignoring another glare. "Ask him out."

"Read my LIPS. N - O. No is no and EQUALS no and will REMAIN no!" She retorted, crossing her arms.

"Come on, what's the big deal??" Samantha burst out, trying to keep her voice down. An ear remained for the phone. 

A sullen look appeared as she looked to a nearby window. "What if he's got a girlfriend?"

"Then ask him. If he does, you saved yourself further embarrassment of asking him out."

"NO I wouldn't...asking Inaki if he's got a girlfriend tells him I think he's dateable material in my mind and is the SAME as if I asked him out!"

Samantha smiled. "So...calling him Inaki already?" A thoughtful frown appeared. "By the way, is that his first or last name? The dude doesn't look American..."

"Oh get outa my way! We have to be watching the front." She pushed around her friend and sullenly occupied the chair again.

Seconds later, Samantha copied. "I'm just saying...what could hurt? You'll never know and what if he IS single? You would've let one damn fine man go to waste."

She sent a sharp glare over. "He's MAINLAND. Who knows how far away that is!" She was saved when the phone finally rang. "Good morning, thank you for calling the Miami Hyatt. How may I help you?"

~*~*~

He let himself into the hotel room and tossed the key on the nearest dresser. He jumped upon finding a pair of eyes watching him. "Shit dude, don't SCARE me like that!" He retorted, trying not to spill his coffee. He added it to the dresser and sat on the bed he shared with Chass.

"Where'd YOU go dude?"

"Hmmm? Man shut up, I'm trying to SLEEP."

He smirked. "Well you three lazy asses won't be sleeping much longer when you learn that breakfast closed at nine."

"What??"

"No! I'm getting hungry!"

"Damn it! NOW what're we supposed to do?"

Dark brown rolled to the ceiling. They could've rolled across the entire hotel room at such a stupid question. "You three are going to starve. There IS no food outside this hotel." He sarcastically muttered, going for his coffee. "What do you THINK you morons? We can go OUT and eat. Fast food if necessary." He eyed the trio who hadn't even moved. "Shit, by the time you get up, it'll be LUNCH."

"Kiss off. Just because you're an early riser doesn't mean WE have to be."

He gave an snort and resisted the urge to pour his coffee over Robert's head. Early riser...yea RIGHT. "I DIDN'T get up by CHOICE. I got up because Chass kept snuggling against me in his sleep!"

"I did NOT!"

"Didn't know you had a thing for Inaki."

"Maybe it's just guys in general."

The two snickered as Chass grabbed both pillows and hurled them at the other bed. "Shut the hell up! I could say the same for YOU two sharing a bed. Should I be writing the wedding invitations now?"

"Oh you did NOT go there! Ugh!"

Taking initiative, two other pillows launched across the room and smacked Chass in the face. With the other two pillows, Robert and Kelar used them and rolled to their backs.

He smirked and sipped his coffee. As immature as they were, they were his best friends - and he was the same way. If it was him in Robert's or Kelar's spots, he would've gotten up and hit Chass personally for that comment.

"Come on guys, let's get up and get going. Whoever intends on taking a shower can do so now before it gets later. I got a few tips on what we can do before tomorrow morning, so we've got the day to waste."

"Tips?"

"On what? From whom?"

"I don't need a shower."

"And I don't either. So Rob, Kelar, you two fight it out, but do it quickly."

"Tips from who dude?"

"I'll take first shower."

"Fine, just be quick about it. Now - who'd you talk to?"

He snorted against his glass and downed the rest. "You're like an old hen, you know that?"

"Cluck, cluck -"

"Shut up Chass."

Another pillow went sailing across the room with perfect aim.

He snickered as the shower started up and stretched. Standing, he went for his bag to find more suitable clothes. "Some chicks from the front desk." He looked up with a grin and met Robert's eyes. "They're both pretty cute. One I've already met before earlier this week."

A hand scratched Chass's unruly hair. "How? When was that?"

"Remember when I said I was coming down to find hotels near the auditorium so we were closer to the tickets?" He got a few yawns and nods as the two sat up and stretched. "Well I ducked into this coffee shop somewhere in part of the downtown area and spotted her." A grin appeared. "She's pretty cute, if not daunted by my questions."

"If that means shy, then you'd better stay away from her."

"Yea, we all know shy chicks are one of your weaknesses. Mostly because you can't not having them talk to you. If Cam knew you were flirting with other chicks, she'd slap you upside the head."

He shrugged and went for the waistband on the sweatpants. "Cameron's not here. Plus, I behave... It's not like YOU don't look Chass. You've been with Gretta for half a year now. We're guys - that's our excuse."

"If Jolette heard you talk like that, she'd probably drop you."

"Before or AFTER she lectured my ear off on female emotions?" He dryly retorted, getting the final pillow in the chest. He caught it with quick reflexes and - with sure aim of a throwing star - sent it back at Robert in the face with enough force to knock him back.

The shower turned off a second later and he discarded his t-shirt next to the bag. A lithe hand dug around and pulled out a striped button up, one he left partially open. The weathermen said it was going to be hot today. He looked up when the bathroom door opened and tossed a thumb in its direction. "Get your lazy ass up and get in there." He idly ordered, digging for shorts.

"Yes officer Castro..."

Tossing a crude gesture to his good friend, it was returned with casual efficiency before Robert took Kelar's place.

"Such love in this room...I'm so glad I'm apart of this group." Chass muttered, flopping back on three pillows.

"Hey! Don't go back to bed you idiot!" Striding around everything on the floor, he reached out and yanked all pillows from under his friend's head.

"Hey!"

"Get UP. When Rob's outa there, I wanna get going." Dark brown checked the clock. "Come on dude, it's already ten thirty!"

"Fine, fine. Mother."

A pillow quickly sailed in the air and hit Chass's face with perfect accuracy.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Oi-Hey Ojou-san-Miss


	4. Ch 4

There would have to be something short of a miracle - or close to that point - to get four boys around the age of twenty out of bed on their own power before the sun rose. And actually AWAKE.

Especially on a Sunday.

"Yahoo! 'Alternative Blowout' here we come."

"Come on God, make that sun rise and speed along the morning!"

"Yea, it's only dusk and I can barely see the ramp."

"Watch this you loudmouths, triple spin without falling!"

"You wish...you can't even do a double without having trouble!"

"It's all in how you catch air." Pushing off the ground and quickly balancing on the board, he pressed back at the last second on the small ramp and spun the board. As said, a triple spin with a sure landing.

Stopping mere feet away from the wooden ramp, eyes blinked in shock. 'Yatta...'

"Wow dude, I didn't think you'd actually MAKE it."

"Way to go Inaki!"

A boasting smirk appeared at the stun in his friends' voices. Pushing the brake with a foot, he twirled around to face the three. "Oh ye of little faith." He called, giving a thumb's up. A car stopped on the main street and slowly took a turn to the road leading to the hotel. "Heads up guys - car!" A foot harshly landed down on the back end and his skateboard jumped to the air. He caught it with a deft hand and gripped it to his side and ran to the ramp...trying to pull it out of the middle of the parking lot.

The other three quickly copied his technique with ease and jogged to parked cars out of the way. It was dark enough to require headlights on the cars and none wanted to get hit. They had plenty of experience playing with their ramp in the streets and keeping a keen ear out for cars in their own city. It was only a precaution. They didn't expect the car to turn into the lot, as the road off the highway led to another road.

Precautions proved fruitful when the car slowed even more to take the small incline into the lot.

The four watched as it parked and shut off seconds later, waiting to get back to it. Each was so filled with energy with the thought of going to get tickets - as soon as the sun rose. At the first light of dawn, they checked out and hauled it to the ticket office.

"What do we have here?"

Dark brown blinked and squinted as two people exited the car. That voice sounded rather familiar. A hand tried to get the hair sticking out of his backwards cap out of his eyes enough to see who it was.

"You four realize this is loitering and illegal. I have enough mind to call the cops on you."

He blinked again as the shorter of the two stopped next to Chass. His brows furrowed in confusion, though a small smile started appearing. What was going on?? "Oi ojou-san! No harm no foul okay? We didn't figure it was that big a deal..." He dropped the board and rolled over to where they were, using the break as he reached them. His eyes widened a little when he spied two extremely familiar forms. Brown locked with the taller. "Kimi wa..."

"You!" She gasped, a hand going to her mouth. This was just great!

"Hey Inaki...talk English for those who aren't used to your slip-ups will ya?" Kelar called, smirking.

Dark brown shot over, narrowing playfully. A finger rose and scratched his scalp in a subtle, crude gesture, one Kelar mimicked. "Baka uresai." He muttered, purposely slipping tongues.

She stood and dumbly blinked green, not knowing the language. She knew he was orient, but it all sounded the same to her. "Ex - excuse me...but you do realize you can't skateboard on public property. Guests or no..." She muttered, looking him in the eye.

Samantha blinked and took a step to him, looking up to meet his eyes. "You...you're hotel guests??" She breathed, looking in shock.

Her head shook with amusement. Samantha was a good person...a little thick though.

Realizing she could be reported for threatening what kept her an employee, Samantha mildly panicked. "Ah! Sorry, sorry! I didn't know...please oh PLEASE don't report me to Barbara!"

He smiled at how upset the poor girl was. She was nearly begging him to keep this a secret. He snorted and laid a hand on her shoulder. "It's fine. You didn't know who we were." Dark brown shot to the sky. "No one would. We didn't even know if you would see us so we moved out of the way."

"THOUGHT I saw something when we entered."

He smiled and stepped back, kicking the board into the air. "And we certainly don't want to go to jail on the most important day of our lives..." He winked, getting a sheepish smile in return.

"Eh...sorry about that. I wouldn't REALLY report paying customers..." A hand scratched light blond.

"ANYWAY...we've got to get going Sam. It's nearly seven and we have to get punched in and get breakfast set up." She reminded, latching a hand onto her friend's arm.

"Did I hear the magic word??"

Green spun around at seeing someone leaning on a skateboard with a grin. She blinked. How many of them WERE there out here?

"Hey Inaki, think we have enough time for a bite before we head out?"

Dark brown speared green. "You've a watch?"

She nodded, taking a deep breath. Those eyes were...rather nice to look into...

She mentally slapped herself.

A charming grin appeared. "Care to inform us of the time and we'll let you get to it?"

Pressing her lips together to fight a girlish smile, she lifted a wrist and pressed the light dial. "Five to seven."

"AH! We're going to be late!"

"Calm down Sammy, we're right in front of the - ACK!"

A wide grin appeared as Samantha nearly dragged her to the doors. It was quite amusing to see the thinner girl try to stay on her feet. Shaking his head, he chuckled as the other three rode up and stopped before him.

"Come on man, let's get the stuff put away and go get ready."

"We ARE ready you moron...the bags are in the car." A hand whipped out and gave Robert a shove to the back.

"Ah! Knock it off! You want some? Don't make me use my board like WWF."

Snickering, he silently headed to their ramp and let the two go at it. It never lasted long and the rest of the group could break it up for him. If that didn't work, he could always mention they weren't going to get much time to eat...

"Hey dude...where'd you go?"

"I'm at the car you bakaro!" He called, rolling his eyes. He hoisted the ramp to the trunk as the others rolled up.

"Name calling is not nice dude." Chass jovially muttered, grabbing the other end. Together the two situated it and all four set their boards in.

"Even though we're packed, we should make a final sweep of the room to be sure we didn't forget anything." Kelar said.

"Ah, point taken. Also kills time so we don't have to wait in the nook for the food right?" Chass added, nudging Kelar with an elbow.

A hand quickly shot out and smacked Chass in the back of the head.

~*~*~

"So what do you suppose those four were talking about?"

"How do I know? I don't bother to make it my point to know other's business."

"You're such a spoilsport..."

She grunted and juggled the plastic cereal crates that needed to be set out. There were only three, and she was resolved to get them in one trip.

"You want any help?" Samantha tentatively queried, a brow lowering.

"Nope. I got it." She shortly answered, craning her head over the blurry plastic. Being clear didn't help at all.

One would think Samantha would know to stop asking if she wanted help by now. She didn't like accepting help from others that much. Oh the pains of being independent...

Halfway down the hall, she thought she saw something over the tip of the back end.

"Careful."

Unknowing if it was being said to whom, she halted anyway and looked around. A body came into her field of vision and her head whipped to the right, blinking in shock at seeing the same boy from outside.

A small smile appeared on his face as he leaned down a little to meet her eyes. His head tilted a tad. "Those look heavy. Are you a damsel in distress?"

She only blinked and felt her cheeks heat a little. "I -" Before she could answer, hands briefly touched hers and her heart fluttered...right before indignation flared at feeling a lighter load. He took one of the cereal crates! "You - you really don't have to help me! I had it..." She stuttered, trying to pick her mind up.

His eyes met hers and her lips pressed together. A small grin lit his face.

"Sure you did." He muttered, walking away.

She jogged as best she could after his long legs to catch up. "H - hey! I meant it..."

He set the plastic contraption on the counter and waited until she managed to get both on as well.

Teeth momentarily bit her lip as she fixed the cereal, unable to look at him. Having to thank people for doing something SHE was supposed to do was never easy at times. Especially since it was a resident!

So what if he was being nice to her and chivalrous? She - she didn't expect any help from anyone! Having taught her that a long time ago, it was probably part of the reason why she was having a hard time getting words of gratitude past her lips. With a small sigh, she turned and gave a tiny smile. "Th - thank you for...for-"

"Inaki."

Both pairs of eyes whipped to the three jogging over. They stopped at the entranceway and leaned against the archway. She fought a blush and gave a brief glance into dark brown, finding them on her, before quickly looking away and heading to the blocked doors.

The three stood around as if not wanting to let her pass. "Excuse me." She muttered. To her relief, one stepped out of the way with a smile and let her pass. She nodded and walked away, trying to keep her pace even. For some reason, she felt a little uneasy from those three there. Like they disapproved of her or something.

"What do you think you're doing you moron? You know better than to flirt with her."

She paused as if running into a wall and quickly looked over her shoulder. After a confused blink, she flatted against the corner and spied. Green narrowed. So what was so wrong with Inaki flirting with HER?

"Yea Yamoi...you're lucky we keep our mouth shut to Cam when she's not around."

Yamoi? Cam? Was Yamoi part of Inaki's name? And was that his first or last? Who was Cam? 

"Dude...if she were here she'd probably be bitching you out right about now!"

She caught a sigh and her shoulders drooped a little. That sigh was pure exasperation...as if having to put up with that same instance more than once.

"How many times have I TOLD you this? She doesn't like alternative concerts. If she came with, YOU would be miserable because she would be complaining the whole time."

"I thought you told us it's because you didn't want to worry about Cam throwing a fit if you ended up looking."

"Oh shut up Rob."

Green sullenly looked to the carpet, but her jaw set as she deeply inhaled and turned to the front desk. She knew it...he had a girlfriend. It never failed...just when she found him attractive and was even CONSIDERING Sam's suggestion too.

Indignation and frustration - maybe a little anger - flared. Why would he flirt with her if he had a girlfriend? Even if this Cam didn't sound like a very tolerant person to his interests, he should STILL be faithful! That's just what SHE wanted - her emotions played with for some stupid fancy he had!

Her shoulders squared as she stalked to the front door. MEN! Why had they have to be such dicks?!

~*~*~

After everything was set up and he watched the three attack the breakfast bar, he sat back and enjoyed a quick one as well. As he downed his orange juice, dark brown spied a clock on the far wall.

"Shimatta! We've got about five minutes to get to the car or we're not going to make the planned time!" He cried, jumping from the chair. He swiped residue off with the back of his hand and started gathering everything for the trash.

"GAH! Inaki's right - let's haul guys."

"Here dude...we'll take care of the trash, you turn the keys in and book us a room for the appointed time next month."

"Can do Kelar...just make sure you throw everything away!" He was probably the cleanest of the group, for a guy...

Jogging up to the counter found K typing into the computer. He reached in and accidentally slapped the keys down a little too hard in his hurry and grimaced when she jumped and met his eyes. "Ah...sorry about that. Just thought I'd return our passes." He smiled and pushed the keys over.

She simply stared as if he was a two-year old asking for something.

He blinked and a brow minutely arched at the near blank look in her eyes...like she didn't know him or something. Mentally shaking himself, he let go and clasped hands together on the counter. "I also want to book the same room for me and the other three musketeers in a month."

She looked to the computer and started typing again.

His head jerked, taken aback at this new behavior. Was it something he SAID? She was just talking and smiling at him not even half an hour ago!

"For what day sir?"

"It's Inaki." He answered, putting on a charming smile. That always worked before. "I told you to call me that last time you called me sir."

She looked up and they locked eyes. It seemed minutes passed before her eyes almost softened and a small smile appeared. 

Finally! For some reason, seeing her act indifferent rubbed him the wrong way. Probably because he already saw how friendly she was before.

"What day sir?"

Sigh...

"Ano...July twelve and thirteen."

She was silent as typing filled the air. He resisted the urge to fidget and tap a finger on the marble. She normally made conversation at least.

"Alright...you and your four friends are booked sir. See you in a month and a half." She looked up with a friendly smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Come on Inaki! We're a minute and a half behind schedule!"

Whipping around found Chass waving an arm in his direction. Heaving a sigh, trying not to be embarrassed at the youngest of the group, he cast another smile across the desk. "See ya then K."

She gave a small nod and he pivoted.

"Hope you get good tickets for your concert sir."

He nearly fell to the ground. Catching himself in mid step, he paused and looked over his shoulder, but she was already doing something he couldn't see behind the counter. He turned in bemusement, head tilting. What?? "How did you know about -"

"INAKI!"

His head whipped behind again. Chass was waving both arms now and he felt the urge to sweatdrop like in his manga collection.

The phone rang and he looked forward, mouth open. "Good morning, thank you for calling the Miami Hyatt. How may I help you?"

He sighed as she sat at the computer and practically forgot he was mere feet in front of the desk.

If she seemed intent on ignoring him for some reason...not even knowing what he did WRONG...then she could go ahead and BE a bitch. 'What I get for being FRIENDLY...'

Feeling his pride take a beating in embarrassment, he whipped around and jogged past Chass...trying not to slam the glass door against the panes next to it.

~*~*~

A happy sigh rent the air as tears fell. "Call me a sap, but I have a thing for a guy who can read women's minds and end up losing that power but get the girl in the end."

She looked over with a smile and wiped her cheeks. "That's not being a sap, that's being a dork." She teased, reaching for a Kleenex to blow her nose.

"Yea, yea..." Getting off the couch, Samantha slinked to the tv and popped a cd from the player to put it back in its case. "Sheesh...these things keep getting smaller and smaller." She complained, wrinkling her nose.

She smiled and put the Kleenex with the piles on the coffee table. "What do you expect? Largest size **I** ever saw was the size of my palm."

Samantha looked back with a smile before holding two movie cases in the air. "What do you think? 'What Women Want' got me in the mood for another sappy romance." Light blue looked to the choices. "Well? 'Pretty Woman' or the classic 'Titanic'? Personally I'm leaning toward the first..."

She gave a small smile, already coming down the high of getting caught up in someone else's life. Leaving her with her own life again. "How about 'Titanic'? A change of pace."

An ash brow rose. "Are you SURE?" 'Pretty Woman' waggled invitingly. "I mean...the famous Julia Roberts and the handsome Richard Gere. Both deceased now, but great actors and this movie is CLASSIC...even a hundred years ago."

Green looked to the empty ice cream bowl in her hands. "I'm sure. I'm in the mood for a sour ending tonight." She stood and grabbed her friend's bowl. "You want another round? I'm getting one."

"Sure..." Blue narrowed skeptically. Samantha briefly leaned back on her elbows on the thick carpet, watching her leave through a side archway. "What's WITH you tonight? You were practically livid all day at work and then you went to your room and buried yourself in homework after classes until movie time."

She grimaced and dug the cartons out of the fridge. What was she recently saying about her best friend being dense?? With a sigh, she went for the ice cream scoop. "I - I just had a bad day is all. Don't YOU ever have bad days at work?" She loudly asked, making sure her voice heard into the living room.

Ash furrowed. K was acting rather strangely for movie time. "I'm not saying that... It's just...you seemed in such a pleasant mood when you started out." Samantha sat up and went for 'Titanic' as she heard footsteps. "Did something happen that changed it?"

"I'll tell you later."

Blue momentarily widened on the smaller-than-palm-sized movie cd and inserted it into the tray. Later always meant SOMETHING was going on. Grabbing the controllers she brought with, Samantha quickly scuttled back to her position on the other side of the couch and dimmed the floor lamp. "You wanna talk about it before I press play?" A finger hovered over the button, comically circling.

She nearly scowled, but tried to keep an even face. She was NOT about to go over the embarrassment and anger she felt over realizing she was being played by another jerk. A CUTE jerk, but still a jerk.

She mentally sighed. No matter where she went - no matter which city she lived in - men were still dicks.

"Pretty sure. Now press play and get on with it." Green looked to the clock on the radio. "We can fit about one more in before we both need to turn in."

"Okay...I pick 'My Best Friend's Wedding' next."

Green looked over with an odd look. "Whatever happened to 'Pretty Woman'?"

She received a smile and the start of movie previews. "Changed my mind. I've seen that about a dozen times anyway."

Her head slowly shook. Her best friend...what a piece of work...

The area darkened as the show started. "You are weird...has anyone ever told you that?"

"You keep saying that about once a day, now SHUSH."

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Kimi wa-You (are) Baka uresai-Shut up idiot Ano-Um Bakaro-Dumbass


	5. Ch 5

Somewhere amidst the quiet, a door slammed.

A sigh sounded in the kitchen. Not one of forlorn, just that of stretched patience. "They're at it again..."

A soft chuckle sounded in response. "Those two never quit, do they?"

"If they did, I think it would be so quiet I'd go crazy."

Pounding on the door drew six sets of eyes to the ceiling as if asking the gods for help. Three of the handful decided it not best to throw their two cents in.

"LET ME IN RIGHT NOW!"

"Make me!"

"Chikushou!"

"Tsk, tsk, nee-chan...don't let okaasan hear you say that..."

A loud growl sounded. Fists clenched...nails digging into fair skin. Teeth clenched so tight that pain ticked at the gum line. "OTOTO! LET. ME. IN!"

"You already said that...try again." Silence. "Hmm...Tuesday the sixteenth..."

"Don't you DARE! Anata o korosu!"

"'Ototo-chan's up to his old tricks again.' I am? Pray tell, what would that be? I think I shall read on."

A tight fists harshly pounded on the door again, the other futility twisting the locked doorknob. "Yamero! Stop right there!"

"'I think he might have found out about me and Chad, though I pray the Gods are merciful and his constant ignorance through daily life helps me out.' CONSTANT IGNORANCE?" The door flew open and the two looked at each other, one minutely startled, the other playfully scowling. "What do you MEAN constant ignorance? I'm not ignorant! I'm HIGHLY competent!"

At the outburst, matching dark brown eyes quickly narrowed to slits as fists clenched again. "Anata...o korosu!"

A cocky grin sprouted and a hand shot out, pressing a small journal into a thin body. "Yea right." He boasted dodging out of the way of a punch. "Nice try...gotta be faster though nee-chan."

Another growl sounded as set of punches were thrown at him. All missed and hands shot out to grab arms to keep more punches from being thrown. "HANASO!"

That cocky grin widened. "If you say so..."

Lithe hands let go and a startled yelp sounded as he hopped over the offset body teetering to the ground. "OTOTO!"

"Catch me if ya can nee-chan!" He called, snickering at his sister's annoyed look from the floor.

Just as he jumped the three stairs from the split level leading to the upstairs, he nearly slipped in haste to stop. Fighting that same grin, he gave a quick bow of respect to three sets of his elders. "Konnichi wa minna-san." He hastily muttered.

"Please don't tear up the house musuko..."

"And no running around inside magomusuko."

"Hai...take it out back if you must himagomusuko."

"INAKI! Come back here!"

He gave another quick bow, slyly grinning. "Yosh!" He saluted to the order and whipped around for the front door mere feet away.

"OTOTO!" A second pair of socked feet copied and hopped the short bit of stairs.

"Magomusume..."

"Jayden, anata no sonkei wa doko da?"

"Gah!" Trying to twist proved to Jayden's downfall - literally - as she went down a second time. She hit the ground with a low thud, yet quickly scrambled to her feet and bowed. "Gomen nasai minna-san." Laughter from the front door sounded and fists clenched again. Jayden's face donned another annoyed look. "Atashi no ototo-chan o atashi korosu?"

"Iie!" He playfully called, hanging out the doorway.

Two pairs of aged eyes looked around Jayden then locked with deep brown again. "Just don't make a mess."

"Obaasan!"

"Isn't ANYONE on my side here?" He wailed. There was no time to answer as Jayden whirled around. He yelped and jumped the few steps off the engawa and took off for the backyard.

In mere minutes, the six individuals sitting at the low table enjoying afternoon tea twisted to see the pair rocket past the patio doors and around the back engawa. The eldest woman of the three chuckled. "Those two never give up."

"I think it's safe to say my SON never gives up."

Everyone quietly laughed. Six pairs of eyes - four brown, one hazel, and one green - watched in amusement and sipped their tea.

After a minute, the youngest male put a hand on his wife's with a small smile. "You have to admit, they make good entertainment."

"Yamoi Omo-kun you're incorrigible." Omo simply shrugged and looked over when the two dropped to the grass, finally exhausted.

Two pairs of heavy breathing sounded as the two tried to get their breaths back. "Okay so maybe I...DON'T get to kill you today...you got lucky..."

"Your old age...must be getting the best of you." He quipped back, sitting up. Dark brown glared against the grass and he grinned back. Finally standing, he stretched and looked to the clear sky. "Another day finished." He idly reported, extending a hand to the grass.

Without missing a beat, Jayden accepted the help to stand.

He looked into brown eyes and went to brush his clothes and hair clean. "So what say we raid the fridge? I'm hungry."

Jayden gave a playful slap to his shoulder, but started for the patio doors. "Then help me start cooking dinner for the others. It's about time to get things prepared and okaasan should be laying stuff out soon."

His nose wrinkled as he closed the sliding door behind them. He just wanted a quick snack...but there was no point in ruining his appetite. And he wasn't a COMPLETE loafer...he helped do some of the lifting and chopping. If one didn't help out in some way, one didn't eat.

After pushing in the half dozen mushrooms off the chopping board into a boiling pot, he set the knife and board down. A hand absently went to his head and tried to brush the bangs away from his eyes. It was getting longer than necessary again. He could nearly see where original black stopped to white. Another inch or two and he could get his hair cut and back to his NORMAL color.

Finally.

'I am not going to accept dares that deal with my hair ever AGAIN.' He vowed, smirking. 'Can't wait until it grows back to where I had it. Then maybe obaasan and hisobosan will stop bringing it up!'

"Ototo-chan...can you grab the pot holders and put that pan on the table? It should be done." Jayden muttered, leaning over the sink.

Dark brown darted to her, finding brown on him, and gave a brief nod before going to the stove. He set the massive soup pot on the table in front of his grandparents and great grandparents. After giving a nod of their thankful ones, he stood and headed to check on the rice. Finding that ready, he playfully nudged his sister over at the double sink and washed his hands.

It seemed Jayden had the same idea, for they both moved to the large pot and began grabbing rice to press into rice balls. Making enough for three to a person, the two grabbed the plates and set them around the table.

"Musuko ugokanai." He instantly froze at the soft voice and an arm snaked around, a large teapot set down seconds later. "Go ahead and sit down musuko...Jayden and I can finish getting the rest."

He looked into his mother's eyes, asking if she still wanted help, before shrugging and going to his zabuton. He waited until parents and sister were seated and his great grandparents, grandparents, and parents filled their plates and bowls before digging in. He was sarcastic, rash when it came to decisions, lazy when it came to work, and didn't entertain a lot of solid thoughts of the future...

...But he respected his elders as they should be.

Dinner was silent, as it always was. Little talk was made but none was needed. They bonded by nearness and the comfort of being a family. He helped Jayden and his parents pick the table up, letting his grandparents and great grandparents sip their tea in quiet. Though it was said if one didn't help out, they didn't eat, that didn't apply to the owners of the business putting food on their table - also those who helped keep that same business running smoothly.

And both sets wouldn't hesitate to reprimand him and remind him of tradition if he DIDN'T do his part around the house.

Letting Jayden load the dishwasher, he headed to the basement. It was late enough to be rude if he called his friends, but too early for bed. He loved the basement. Aside from the washer and dryer, pipes, furnace, and other stuff that kept the place running, he had his own workout area. It was part of an open room, but when he was down here no one bothered him. The only person who came down here was his grandfather and that was to teach him part of what he knew as far as Kempo was concerned.

Going to a zabuton in a corner of the room, he positioned his legs underneath and rested hands on his thighs. After a bit of shifting to get comfortable, he started his form of meditation.

His ears picked up everything going on in the old house above. It was calming, better than any mantra or meditative music he knew of. After countless minutes, he stood and started stretching his muscles. Dark brown spied a clock and found it was too late to work on his falls, so decided to do a kata tonight.

Rolling his shoulders, he stopped in front of a weapons rack and eyed his choices. The ceiling was tall enough to work with short swords, but long swords would have to wait until it was light outside.

He decided on Sai. He worked enough with the short sword to know it well enough and was still practicing the current. He picked up a dull one. The sharp ones were for higher skill, as all weapons were, and he didn't need any safety lectures from any of the family.

Twirling was becoming easier and easier to do. His hand was getting accustomed to having such an oddly designed weapon in his fingers and it slipped from his index less and less. It only happened three times in ten minutes this practice.

He didn't know any Sai kata yet, as his grandfather and great grandfather had told him to know this weapon well before increasing his level. So he worked some basic training in with the weapon to gain understanding of how it flowed. At least it made Kempo more interesting...

After taking a small break from doing impromptu kicks and jabs, the door slowly peeked open. "It's eleven ototo-chan. I'm going to bed."

He silently nodded and put the weapon back where it belonged. When Jayden went to bed, he went to bed.

One problem with sharing a room, but it wasn't to stay up late when everyone else was in bed. That was discourteous and rude; since he was bound to wake everyone, even in the basement.

He didn't really mnd sharing a room with his sister, as he'd done as far as he remembered. From the bunk beds when they were kids, to the current low-set futons. There was the sibling rivalry, though not as bad as some people he knew. It helped immensely to have that early bond, along with the rest of his family.

He never thought himself unfortunate to live in such a crowded house with four generations, himself included. That just added to the history, since his grandparents also lived here. The place was well maintained as his father and grandfather did repair work on the place to keep it that way.

Once in the room, he went into the large walk-in closet and shut the door to allow his sister privacy to change. Though he loved picking on her to get a rise out of her, he respected his nee-chan and knew where to draw the line.

After he also changed and waited half a minute, there came a brief tap on the other side. That was his cue that everything was safe, and he switched the lights off and exited the closet.

He quickly stopped upon finding the room pitch black. "What the hell did you do to the lights??"

Jayden gave an evil grin and pulled the covers back on her futon. "Consider it payment for trying to read my diary earlier today ototo."

"That's not really much of a payback." He mused, giving an odd look to the vicinity of her bed. "I can turn on the lights on you know."

That grin didn't leave. "Yea...but then you'd have to get back up and turn them off. Don't think I'd get up and do it for you. I can sleep with the lights on, but you can't."

He scowled. The woman had a point and he knew Jayden was stubborn enough to fall asleep just to spite him. He also knew SHE knew he was bad at maneuvering his way in the dark. His depth perception was always off a little and there were a few things he knew of on his floor that were put there before picked up. He was liable to fall at least ONCE on his short trip to bed.

"Chikushou onna..." He muttered, spreading arms out for balance. He could already feel his center of gravity shift and teeter a little in hesitancy as he baby-stepped it to his futon. Dark brown narrowed at the short giggle before Jayden shifted to the wall.

It was a shaky journey, but he plopped down safe and sound on the mattress. He gave a quiet sigh of relief and shifted under his blanket sheets. In the quiet, Jayden's soft breathing could be heard. She was half asleep, he could tell. It would even a few more notches before REM finally hit her. He wished he could fall asleep that quickly. Though he couldn't do that to begin with, there was also a lot on his mind lately.

The concert in fourteen days for one.

'Two weeks...' Teeth bit his lip as a wide smile appeared. Hands propped his head up over the pillow as he stared at the ceiling. Two weeks and then it was the greatest concert he'd been to yet. True he'd been to some great concerts, but these bands were well-known. And the other few didn't include his three best friends. They were either with someone in the family, or a past girlfriend.

He heaved a small sigh and shifted. He was never going to get to sleep if he kept thinking about that concert! Too bad it was on his mind so much.

The whole month of June was torture, but as July neared, it was unbearable. Knowing what was around the corner, with everything set up, didn't make it easier. The days didn't pass by any faster, though he prayed and threatened them to do so otherwise. The only thing he could do to get rid of the anticipation and energy was long hours in the family business. His family didn't mind, as he did most of the moving stuff in the back room.

It was quite the organized setup. He and his father hauled things around, stacked some stuff, and cleaned some , while his sister and mother stacked the rest and cleaned some of the store. His grandparents did the bookkeeping and advertisements, while his great grandparents were notified of weekly income and expenses, and given opinions of what to order and change upon demand.

Everyone had a roll in the place. Everyone except his great grandparents worked the counters. He didn't do the register as much as stocking, cleaning, small maintenance, and hauling. He did grunt work, but he didn't mind. It was a productive tiredness that he enjoyed. It was good to know he could help his family out a little.

The only ones who kept tabs on anything in that store were his grandparents. They knew everything in that little grocery store, because of their roll as bookkeepers. Nothing escaped their sharp minds.

Unlike normal jobs, he wasn't paid an hourly wage, though he could've been. He didn't ask for one and his family didn't pay one. He gained most payment in having a house to live in, clothes to wear, food to eat, money for things like the concert, and freedom to be out during the day.

He had it rather well.

He liked to scoff at his friends when they poked fun of his living arrangements and job. They only saw he lived with his parents, shared a room with his sister, and worked for his family without being paid by the hour.

What they didn't see, were the perks behind the matter.

He had a magazine subscription through the store it carried and he didn't have to pay it. His grandparents would write down and tally, then he would work it off. If he got hungry or tired, he could take a few minutes whenever he wanted one and could grab something off the shelf...as long as it was tallied and worked off.

In essence, he was fully capable of getting a wage, but he liked this way better. It was different; he didn't have to worry about stupid taxes - unlike his friends - and the money he spent was worked off. It was like dealing with invisible money, only using hard work as currency. Plus he set his own hours. His family expected him to help out - that was a given - but they didn't hound him to be there when the place opened and stay till it closed.

That was part of the freedom.

Even if he didn't go in till early afternoon half the time, he put in a lot of hours when he DID go in. He would write down his time to the minute to keep track for his grandparents.

He liked that part best of all. It was a good thing because he didn't fall asleep till around midnight or nearly one all the time, and tended to wake up after the sun had risen. Nine was his earliest half the time. He did NOT do mornings if he could help it.

Dark brown lazily trailed to the clock sitting on the nightstand in between the beds.

Twelve...yet he wasn't asleep. Nothing abnormal...though he was a lot calmer and it was getting harder to keep his eyes open to stare at the ceiling. He rolled to the wall and shifted to get comfortable.

Two weeks...it was going to take forever to get here.

He couldn't wait to pack; he already had the start of a list made out. And he didn't do that sort of thing, but that was the length of his exuberance.

A pair of deep green eyes suddenly sprang to mind and he blinked. How unusual that he think of her. K hadn't come to mind since the day after he got back from staying at that hotel. He briefly wondered what she was up to, if she was having fun. He shook his head and discarded the thought. She was a bitch for some unknown reason and that was a mere nineteen days ago...women didn't change their minds THAT quickly when it came to spiting a guy.

Half the ride back home was pondered over what he did. Sure he wouldn't be able to see her unless he went to Miami for something big like the concert, but it was always nice to make new friends. It seemed the only real ones he had - the ones that understood HIM - were Robert, Chass, and Kelar.

He shifted to the other side and stared at his sister's back. She still hadn't moved from the wall when she first got situated.

Lucky.

His thoughts went to Cameron. He was going to have to spend extra time with her a few days before to make up for the weekend. He knew she was going to say something about missing him, even for two and a half days. The whole notion was silly, but that was Cam. She was the clingy type of woman. Not that he heavily minded clingy...to a certain point. There were times to be affectionate, and there were times to be cuddly.

Cameron was one of those latch-onto-your-arm type girls and hold it like it was a stuffed animal.

And yet she only seemed to do that whenever they were hanging with friends.

It was odd, but he wasn't going to bring it up. Cam was also the type that cried in arguments and he LOATHED that. Crying was a weapon women HAD to've designed against men!

He could never stand to see women of any age cry. For some reason, he caved and became embarrassed or agitated and tried his damndest to get the other to stop, no matter what it took.

He shifted to his stomach and pushed the pillow aside. This position never failed on him and in a few minutes, his body started feeling like it was going to go through the mattress. Hands pillowed his head as he thought of the upcoming fourth. The famous American traditions of fireworks, cookouts, hot summer days, and pool parties. Well the hot days were on the money...but he was Japanese and not American. Sure he was born in the United States, but his heritage was Japanese.

But did that stop him from terrorizing the neighborhood with bottle rockets with the others like last year?

A sleepy smile appeared as his head turned to the wall.

They had to find a way to top last year... 'The four musketeers are going to put their heads together to make this the best fourth yet.'

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Chikushou!-Damn it! Nee-chan-older sister **(Without the honorific O)** Ototo-Little/younger brother Anata o korosu-I'll kill you 

Okaasan-Mom **(The O gives more respect to the title)** Yamero-Stop Hanaso-Let (me) go Musuko-Son Magomusuko-Grandson

Konnichi wa minna-san-Hello/Good afternoon everyone Himagomusuko-Great grandson Yosh-Alright Gomen nasai minna-san-Sorry everyone

Jayden, anata no sonkei wa doko da?-Jayden, where's your respect? Atashi no ototo-chan o atashi korosu?-Can I kill my brother?

Iie-No **(More polite way of saying no) **Obaasan-Grandmother Engawa-Veranda/porch **(What normally wraps around the house)**

Hibososan-Great grandmother Musuko ugokanai-Don't move son Musume-Daughter Zabuton-Floor cushion/pillow Tatami-Straw mat Kata-Form

Sai-Three-pronged weapon Chikushou onna-Damn (it) woman


	6. Ch 6

"Hey - don't point that thing at me! Don't you know how dangerous that is? Use your head!" He quickly dodged the sparkler currently tossing sparks everywhere and parried with his as if it were a sword.

"Hey! Look who's talking dude!"

He smirked and took a slow swipe for Chass's head, having it blocked.

"Sweetheart, don't be so violent."

"Yea...SWEETHEART."

He playfully scowled at Chass and took a faster swipe for his head before his sparkler burnt out, though not touching his skin. He didn't mind the pet name...but not where his friends could make fun of him for it.

As they were currently doing.

But to be called violent... HIM? That was funny. He talked big, but everyone KNEW he wouldn't hurt a fly. His martial arts training wasn't the same thing and everyone else knew THAT too. He did it more for a hobby than anything. For some reason...he disliked fighting a little...

As the light fizzled from his so-called weapon, he turned for the porch and dropped it in a water-filled bucket. He turned with a small smile upon feeling a soft touch on his wrist. Leaving the others to their fun in Kelar's front yard, he plopped down on the concrete steps and took Cam's hand in his.

"Having fun?" He asked, looking as Kelar and Chass teamed up against Robert with new sparklers.

Cam shrugged, leaning her head on his shoulder. She didn't know whether or not he saw the motion, but it didn't matter. "I'm glad you invited me to spend time with you. It seems we don't get to spend that much time together anymore..."

He resisted the urge to sigh and look put out. 'Here we go again...'

"What are you talking about Cam? We DO spend a lot of time together."

Part of Cam's mouth scrunched up as if to disagree, though she didn't say anything. A thumb slowly rubbed over his skin. "But why does it seem that we hang out more with your friends when we're together? Are you ashamed to be alone with me?"

He pulled away and turned to her, forcefully drawing her chin to keep her from looking away. "You know that's not right. How many times have I told you I like spending time with you either alone or with someone else? I just want my girlfriend to like my friends. That's important. You know I don't say these things when I hang with you and YOUR friends..."

Cam's eyes closed, managing to avoid his eyes. He found it annoying that she couldn't even look him in the eye when they spoke. She did that on occasion and one would think he'd be used to it by now.

After a few seconds, Cameron slowly pulled her chin from his hold and looked to the guys still fooling around. Their playful jeers and taunts reached the short distance, though it seemed like a lot farther away. "I - I don't expect you to understand..." She whispered, eyes casting to the ground.

He felt like groaning. What was there to understand?? He didn't understand THAT! Why was she always fretting over the time they spent together?? They were young...they had YEARS to spend together.

He hoped.

Harshly biting his lip in the small bout of mild discomfort, an arm snaked to the top of slim shoulders. His head leaned against hers and he let the world speak as they were silent. After a bit, feeling he HAD to say something...and might as well get it smoothed over, his arm squeezed in reassurance. "Hey...how long have we been going out Cameron?"

Slightly dull eyes blinked, though Cam didn't look from the sidewalk. "Five months on the first."

He smiled and moved her head with a tiny nod. "Right. And in that time, how many times have I had to console these same fears? And I've given you the same answer. Five months...five months Cameron. Have a little faith in me."

Teeth bit her lip. Cameron felt a small bit of worry prick at his reassurance. A finger toyed with her shorts. "It's just -" She abruptly paused and pressed her lips together.

He heard her hesitancy and cast a look to her face. She looked fretful over something...

"Just what?" He quietly asked, squeezing her shoulders again.

Though Cameron seemed a little fazed, she leaned into his embrace and he took that as a sign that her fears were mostly abated and she was confiding in him now.

There was another small lapse where Cameron fought to get the words out. She hoped he wouldn't be too mad when she said them... "It's just I've heard the stories about you around the city. You've told me some of your dating history... One of your exes said she once thought your longest dating record was a year and then you became restless. Sometimes less than that."

Dark brown looked to the light blue afternoon sky with minute irritation and helplessness. Was it HIS fault he was talked about by teenage and twenty-year old girls in this town? Was it HIS fault he had a small reputation for his dating history? Was it HIS fault he sometimes felt like those he dated weren't the one? Wasn't that what it was all about? Finding that one? Why pretend and drag out a sometimes meaningless relationship?

Instead of agreeing, he smirked and gently turned her face toward his. "So...you've heard my reputation have you?" His grin slowly turned charming as he snailed his way closer to her face. "Did they talk about how I was in bed?"

A cute blush donned the girl's face, but Cameron's smile matched his. "You think I don't know that for myself? Why would I need stories to back up the truth?"

His grin was positively wicked and he had to fight it as he kissed her. He slowly kissed her a few times, unable to stop, and fought the urge to pull her close to his chest.

The world seemed so far away at the moment...

When he finally pulled back and rested his forehead on hers, he found a small, self-conscious smile. He ignored it, knowing she had a self-esteem issue. It was something she couldn't fully control. Not even a minute passed before it was slowly wiped away.

"You're really sure though? I mean -"

His finger caught her chin and pulled her to meet his eyes again. He gave her a disarming smile and gently kissed her. "You worry too much..." He mumbled against her lips. He gave another brief kiss before pulling away. "I said don't worry about it..."

"But -"

"Shinpai shinai." He kissed her before she could ask for a translation, with more force than last time. It was different and more possessive than the others.

He soon registered Cameron's hands snaking up his chest...to rest at his shoulders...

"Hey you two! Get a room! Come on - the world is watching here and there're good Christian kids who don't need to learn about that shit yet."

He was going to kill Kelar... Slowly and painfully.

Just when it was getting good too!

Cameron broke the remainder of the kiss by giggling at his friend's words. They locked eyes and he huffed and playfully scowled, giving her a tiny kiss in resistance to their audience.

Cameron turned to the front lawn with a smirk. "That doesn't mean anything. I'm Christian and you don't see ME with blinders on."

"I never knew you WORE them." Chass cracked, wolfishly grinning.

He pulled away with a small grin, trying not to crack up with his friends. They all picked on each other - as friends tended to do - but Cam's honor had to be defended. Wordlessly, and in the span of seconds, he grabbed an unused sparkler from the depleting box and lit it. As sparks started flying from the tip, he let go of Cam and stood on the ground.

"Excuse me while I go kill my friends..." He jovially answered. He didn't wait for a response and whirled, using his sparkler as a weapon and went after Chass again.

~*~*~

As night closed in and the sun set, the group settled in the large backyard of Kelar's family's house and rummaged through the stash of fireworks. The barbeque was officially over and Kelar's mom was inside loading the last of the dishes.

It was time for fun.

"Bottle rockets...let's light small ones off and go up from there."

"No way! Let's set off the colored smoke bombs first. There's a safety fence around this place...do you know how cool that'd be?"

"No way, that stuff stains and I don't need my dad bitching me out. What about the snakes? We can use the ashes like war paint."

Dark brown rolled. "Get real. Like I'm putting that shit on my face." A hand stuck in the box as he grabbed a palm-sized package of small firecrackers. "I'm going to start this night with a bang." The others smirked and grabbed a few sets. "Besides, the night is still too bright for fireworks. You can only truly enjoy them when it's dark out."

"Says the Japanese who doesn't even celebrate the fourth."

He reached out and gave Robert a shove, seeing in satisfaction that his friend stumbled a few steps before recovering. "Hey, just because I don't celebrate YOUR guys' holiday doesn't mean I don't know fireworks. You think we don't have them for chichibuyo matsuri? I've heard stories about those from my grandparents and great grandparents." He flicked the lighter on and used the light to find the fuse. "A shame they don't have them here anymore."

As sparks flew, he tossed the small pack a few feet and backed up for good measure. In seconds, the sizzling led to a dozen loud pops that echoed in the neighborhood when finished.

"Yea! Let's do that again!"

"Dude...we using the brick this year?"

"Save that for last. We'll end the night with it."

"Works for me... Now...MY turn!"

Cameron sat on the small porch, and shook her head as the group started with more bangs. After a while, fingers went in her ears as the noise started becoming unbearable. "Boys..."

As the tenth strand started, she got up and headed inside to watch where it was quieter.

~*~*~

"Hey K, outa the way!"

"Wha - AHH!" She screeched and quickly flattened herself to the ground to avoid becoming burnt and set on fire. As a bang sounded in the yard, laughter followed. "Very funny. Boys..." She mumbled, slowly getting off the ground with a wary look around.

"Sorry K..."

"Yea girl...lo siento for that."

She glared at the smiling pair on the steps and marched up to them, seeing it was safe to do so. She was forced to look up as their height was accented with the bottom step. "Don't EVER scare me like that again!" She ordered, smacking both on the shoulder.

"Hey! We SAID we were sorry!"

"Those stupid grins are telling me otherwise."

"Really K...no harm was done. And if anyone beats up on my hermanos, it'll be ME."

She grinned and gave a mock bow, letting her best friend have at it. She was given the satisfaction when Sam promptly whapped both Kevin and Casey on the head with a batch of unopened bottle rockets.

"Next time get the trajectory right! I don't need you killing K...she helps pay the rent."

Her head shook. "I feel so loved..." She muttered, slapping a hand to her forehead.

Samantha grinned and dropped the batch next to the pile on the ground. "I know you do sweetie...now help me light a few sparklers and dim down their stash as penance."

"Hey...who said we'd let you use some of OUR fireworks?"

Light blue sent a bored stare to Casey and Kevin. "Your punishment for screwing up and almost injuring my friend." She responded, pulling four sparklers from the box.

Kevin scoffed as his older sister started lighting two at once. "Not so many! We bought those you know." Sam swung the lit sparkler in his face as her index pointed at him. "AH! Watch it with that thing!" Kevin backed up a step and nearly tripped over the fireworks.

"Don't start with me about who buys what around this place." Sam responded, lighting the final two. With a happy smile, she handed them over.

Holding one in each hand, she and Sam ran to the center of the yard. She grinned like a child and started spelling her name with one and trying to draw circles at the same time with the other.

Wasting sparklers on the fourth of July was a crime.

Samantha was trying to spell her name in cursive with both on opposite sides of her body. After miserably trying and seeing the toy half gone, she carefully positioned both behind her back. "Look - I'm an angel!" She kidded, moving both as if she had wings.

She giggled and moved closer. "Then let me give you your halo." She added, swirling the half-burnt stick over blond hair.

"Whoa!" Samantha ducked and positioned herself a few feet away. "Watch it with those things K...I've got enough split ends as it is!"

She gave a mock salute - mindful of the sparkler - and ran in circles with the sparklers encircling her in another. It was so nice to just let go and be a child again... When had she felt this free?

Other than spending every fourth with Sam and her family and acting like this...

She couldn't really complain. It wasn't like she was unhappy in her life. There were plenty of joyous and gleeful moments she treasured gratefully. Free time she spent with Samantha and every Sunday movie bash they had together since she moved in. Hanging out with Chance in college, at class, and hanging out in the hot tub and steam rooms. Spending time with Roger, Chester, and Tommy every night at Coffee Works...people who came more to talk to her and kid around than get a cup of coffee. Talking with her mother and getting her caught up on small changes that happened at college or how she and Samantha were doing.

And the many holidays she spent with Kevin, Casey, Carl, and Missy Merth. They always made her welcome and a part of the family...with all the sibling rivalry that went with having brothers.

It was a pain that Kevin and Casey were both boys, and also her age. But she tolerated it...and appreciated it as only a single child would.

The sparklers finally wore down and she walked to the front with Sam to put them someplace safe to keep from getting stepped on.

She idly listened while Kevin and Casey argued what to light off next and was given another sparkler by Sam, despite her brothers' protests. Just to annoy them more, Sam took a lighter and the remainder of the box with her to the center of the yard. Once there, her friend stuck her tongue out...which the two copied full force.

She half-heartedly smiled and watched a circle she made with her newest toy.

She wished to have all the pains her friend went through so badly. The burden of being an only child was lonely...but to have only yourself in a broken family didn't help either.

Her jaw clenched as she eyed Samantha being her natural, silly self. A more genuine smile appeared as the girl started making stars with the sparks.

Samantha was more like an older sister than friend. Even one year difference, it seemed like Samantha was both younger and older sister. There were times when she acted like a kid, like now - well half the time really... But during those few shaky times with her past, Sam was like actual family and wiser than her years with comfort and condolences. She was glad to've met the girl. She didn't know what she would've done if she never met Samantha Merth.

'Answering that ad was the best thing that happened to us.' She fondly mused, fighting the urge to give the girl a sudden hug.

All that was shoved aside as she cried out and jerked her head away when a burst of light was shoved in her face.

"Watch it Sammy!" She cried out, waving a hand between her and the weapon.

Samantha grinned, but didn't bother feigning innocence. "No zoning out K. I FORBID it!"

She smirked and took a step forward. "And what do you intend to do about it chica? You can't stop me and my thoughts from locking your nasal voice out."

Light blue playfully narrowed as a sparkler was thrust near that chubby face with the precision of a fencing sword. "On guard."

She copied the movement and moved the 'sword' to her side as she'd seen in action movies. "On guard..."

~*~*~

It was late by the time everything was shot off and promised to be picked up with the sun tomorrow. She and Sam cradled pop cans in their hands, using the caffeine to keep awake.

Sam's head suddenly dropped to the table and faked a loud snore.

She smiled and took a sip of pop. "You are so overly dramatic." She muttered over the rim.

That blond head didn't move, but an amused snort answered. "I'm tired and mildly BORED. Can we go HOME yet?"

Her lips twitched as she stretched tired muscles. "Despite the fact that this WAS once your home...we can't leave yet. You know that."

"Can't you just call HER this once? I'm sure she would like that more."

"You know she has odd hours. I don't even know if she's home right now."

"Or awake... Like I'm NOT."

Dark green rolled with a smile. "You are such a BABY. It's barely eleven! We'll be fine. At least we don't have to travel cross a different city or anything."

"Just this one. One I hate driving in with traffic. I don't want the battery wearing down. We'd be screwed till morning."

She sighed and resisted to urge to slap either her forehead or Sam's. "That car has been charging in full sunlight all day long. Don't make me explain the simplicity of solar-powered cars. Again."

"Yea don't. I really WILL fall asleep."

"If it weren't so late I'd go drag you to the living room, but everyone else is in bed and your mom wanted us to keep it down."

"Madre lives with eighteen and nineteen-year-old boys. I'm mild in comparison." Sam's head finally moved and propped up with hands, elbows, and the thick oak table.

She quietly chuckled.

The phone suddenly rang and startled both awake, but her hand shot out and grabbed the cordless purposely resting on the table before it finished its first ring. "You're sure late this year..." She pleasantly answered.

"Hello Kalie sweetie. I know I'm late, but I didn't finish at the office till late."

"Mom, you know better than to work even THIS late!" She scolded, being hypocritical. "Not when you can leave early."

"Don't talk to me about working late missy. Isn't that calling the kettle black?"

"Naw...just a sooty grey."

Dark green shot to her friend on the other side of the room, leaning against the kitchen counter. Sam waved with a grin and plopped up on the surface. "Will you get off the phone?" She retorted into the device.

"Hello Samantha dear."

"Hello Ms. Himmen." Sam replied, ignoring her friend. Her tongue stuck out across the distance. "Working yourself to the bone again I hear."

"I've got enough free time on my hands you two and I don't mind the work. So you leave this poor old woman alone."

She smiled at her mother's banter. "Mom you are hardly old..."

"Let alone poor."

"So how are my two daughters doing?"

"Your surrogate had a blast today madre -"

"As did I." She butted in. Why did Sam have to pick up? This was time spent with her mother, even over a phone. It wasn't like she could just drive over and see her mother whenever she wanted... Both didn't have the TIME for that.

At least it was Sam bursting in on her conversation and nobody else. She really would be offended in that case. Her mom treated Sammy the same way the Merths' treated her.

Like family.

The mindless banter actually included events of today and spanning time since the last call on Memorial Day. After exchanging pleasantries and stories about their lives, the three regrettably called it quits, seeing as it was going on eleven thirty and both had hotel work bright and early.

"Oh and sweetie...are you still going to spend a few weeks here like you were thinking of?"

Teeth bit her lip. The summer semester was almost over and she had ending tests coming up. She was more worried about those than the time spent with her mother. Still...

"I have to see what I can do at the hotel and Coffee Works mom." She answered, chewing on a nail. "They don't exactly give paid time off for part-timers, but I could see if I can plead with someone to take my schedules for those times."

"You do that and then get back to me within a week before you plan on coming over. I'll see if I can talk to the boss and get my paid vacation set up and going so I can spend a few full days with you."

"Can do mom."

"See ya madre."

"Take care you two and have a safe trip home."

Light blue met dark green across the way and a humorous look was shared. "We will mom, bye." Both sets of electronic beeps sounded as the phones were off and then put away.

"NOW can we go?" Sam beseeched.

"Whining is not attractive." She muttered, going for her pop. She downed the rest and put the can in a bag to be recycled. "But yea, I'm ready."

"Goog. I just might let you drive since I'm so tired."

A wicked grin appeared. "If I do that, I get your pop for the sugar." A hand reached for the solitary can and picked it up.

"HEY." Sam crossed the distance, but she already took a swig from it. A playful glare met her eyes as a hand took the drink away. "You're so disgusting. I'm going to have your germs now!"

She smirked and headed for the front door. "Then don't drink it and give it to me. I already have YOURS at least."

Samantha ignored her and took a drink. "No way, this is my favorite. You're not hogging it all."

Her head shook in amusement as she locked the door with Sam's keys behind them.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Shinpai shinai-Don't worry

Chichibuyo Matsuri-Chichibu Festival during night of December 2-3 in the Chichibu Shrine in Saitama Prefecture with floats and fireworks

**Spanish language will be translated underneath when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.****

**Translations: **Lo siento-Sorry Hermanos-Brothers Madre-Mother/mom


	7. Ch 7

All was dark in their temporary quarters. This time, the sunlight had been carefully blotted aside by pushing the curtains onto the lip of the windowsill. This time, they wouldn't be woken up so early again. A do not disturb sign hung on the door, thankfully put there by Rob before they hit the sack.

It couldn't be ten yet, but he was awake. Considering the time they arrived and checked in, that was rather ironic. There was a part that was still tired and he COULD fall back asleep from that...but his mind was running over things.

'I hope whatever problem she had last time is resolved. Even though I have no clue what I did wrong... Must've been her time of the month. But then, does a woman REALLY need PMS as an excuse to throw a fit?'

Cameron Blitz was a prime example to watch what you said or did around a woman. She didn't like constructive criticism or being told what to do. She also had specific tastes when it came to things in life and didn't deviate from that.

Like pop music.

He fought the urge to gag and sighed at the ceiling. 'How she likes those stupid boy-bands and those fruity chick singers is beyond me.' But he learned long ago when Cam played that kind of music, to not wrinkle his nose in disgust or comment. It only started in 'why he didn't like her taste in music when she tolerated his' argument.

What was there to EXPLAIN? It was POP music!

Kelar shifted in his sleep and brown drifted to his sleeping buddy. After that last bit with Chass, he refused to share the mattress. He smiled.

_"Is that everything?"_

_The four took a quick look at the trunk and inside the car, then their backpacks._

_"Yup."_

_"Alright! Time to check back into this place. Déjà vu here we come!"_

_He grinned and shook his head as they headed for the doors and held it open for his friends. "You are such a dork Kelar." He muttered when Kelar passed._

_"Sticks and stones may break my bones...but whips and chains excite me." Kelar jovially announced, not making an effort to keep quiet._

_Robert nearly tripped over the carpet in front of the inside door._

_He sighed and slapped his forehead in embarrassment, getting a small bit of pain from the back of his ever-present baseball cap. "I take that back...you're more than just a dork, you are a total and complete moron."_

_"Not to mention kinky."_

_"And tactless. We're inside the LOBBY!"_

_"Perhaps, perhaps. But at least I'm the best-looking one out of the lot of you." Kelar cheekily answered, evilly grinning._

_"Can we kick his ass now or later?" Chass piped up, walking backwards as they headed to the front desk._

_"Let's wait until we're back. That way we don't have to worry about paying for anything."_

_"Or getting kicked out." He supplied, stopping in front._

_"Hello...what can I do for you?"_

_"We have reservations tonight. Last name Yamoi." He announced, sending a friendly grin. He was given a genuine smile in return before the girl turned to sift through papers and he was reminded of something._

_Or SOMEONE._

_Dark brown dropped to the marble top. He had forgotten all about that. He wracked his brain, remembering she worked the weekend mornings. 'That means I getta deal with that. Great.'_

_As they headed for the elevator, Robert smiled. "I wonder what that chick was thinking with all four of us rooming together."_

_His eyes briefly flittered to his friend, before the elevator opened and they gravitated in. "If by that you're talking homosexuality...you just got on my shit list."_

_"Aw man! Like we need THAT assumption. Do any of us LOOK gay?"_

_"I don't, but you do Kelar." He shot out, giving an evil grin._

_A hand snaked out and slugged his shoulder._

_"That reminds me. No way am I going to share a bed with Chass again. Go snuggle with one of the other musketeers." He announced, crossing his arms. The grin slowly dropped. They would think he was just playing otherwise. He was quite serious!_

_Chass's face turned positively disgusted and offended. "As if! I AM straight, thank you. It's not like I did it on PURPOSE."_

_"Yea, if you did, Inaki'd probably Kempo your ass."_

_"Whatever...I'LL share the bed with you. Just don't hug ME in your sleep."_

_His fist returned Kelar's gesture to his shoulder._

A stirring across the way gained his attention and his eyes left the ceiling. With a blink, he sat up upon realizing he was now awake. Even if it was completely dark in the room.

Both Chass and Robert were slowly waking and he lazily watched, content to sit in the silence. Rarely was there something like this around the four, and it was nice once in a while. No wise cracks, no playful scuffles, no friendly name-calling...

"I thought you hated mornings."

He mildly jumped and looked to his companion, giving a tiny shrug. "Couldn't sleep. Don't know when I woke up..." He muttered, a hand going to his hair. Fingers idly combed through it and he yawned. In the month from staying here, it grew out another inch and a half and he was able to get the white trimmed off.

Finally leaving him with his real black color.

He couldn't wait till it grew out like he had it before he cut and dyed it. The bangs went just above his eyebrows now, the back a little shorter than when he last had it. It felt stranger with even shorter hair, but he resolved to overcome his uncomfortableness with such a cropped head.

It wasn't that he DIDN'T like the white forced upon losing that dare. The color was certainly different, but it didn't fit his eyes. A few times when he looked in the mirror...he thought his eyes should be lighter in color to match.

"So what're we doing to kill time till tonight?"

He looked across the way again and pondered that sleepy, groaned question. Robert finished stretching and propped himself on the headboard and looked around.

"First off, we eat." Chass mumbled. "It never takes long for my stomach to growl."

He looked to the alarm in between the beds. It was almost ten thirty. "It's that way with ALL of us." He muttered, finally standing. "If no one is getting a shower, I suggest we get dressed and head for some coffee at least. Then we can head out and find something to do till the concert."

A mere twenty minutes later, a backpack packed for the day with a plan in mind, the four followed their noses to the breakfast area and did exactly what he suggested.

He was having the worse sense of déjà vu, but that was a given considering he stayed here not that long ago. But it was probably worse due to the girl he spent that brief amount of time WITH.

Brown eyed the carpet as he leaned against the counter. He spied her working in the front - like normal - as they passed, but neither said a word. Sure she saw him, as he saw her, but she gave no smile or wave in acknowledgement.

She almost looked unhappy he was here...but with his change in appearance, it was unsure whether or not she remembered him.

His brow furrowed. Why her personal problem should bother him was a mystery, but it wasn't like he was FOND of knowing people despised him...

Or the fact that he couldn't stand snobby people...people who thought they were better than anyone else. He tended to have a low opinion on those that looked down on him. "If that's even it..." He muttered into the Styrofoam glass.

"You say something dude?"

He looked to Kelar and gave a small smile. "No. Just thinking."

"Get ready for the grasshoppers and bleeding rivers!"

"That's frogs you moron." A hand rose and idly slapped Robert on the shoulder. "If you're going to quote the bible, at least get it RIGHT."

He stared at the three before looking to the wall clock. "Shall we then?" He muttered, going to throw his cup away. He waited for the others in the hallway. He watched them until something caught his eye and he swung in the area of the front desk.

The girl K was holding a few bedspreads. Her steps paused and he met her eyes across the short distance. She was looking at him with an even expression on her face. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, but he could feel a smile slowly tip his lips until it was one of his normal, friendly grins.

To his wonder and confusion, the even expression slowly tinged with narrowed eyes and a slight tightening of her mouth. Then she walked away and as if it was all a dream, he looked back to his friends to find them walking to the doorway.

He blinked. Had time stopped? That seemed to take minutes and not seconds. Was it just his imagination that made time warp?

"Kay...we're ready dude."

His head shook and he resolved not to think about it. Why should one girl get to him? He never let girls take up his mind unless he let it. Putting on his normal, wry grin, he headed for the doors. "Took you guys long enough. But that's slobs for ya."

"Say WHAT?"

"Get back here you -"

With a laugh, he burst through for the car.

~*~*~

What type of person visited Miami Florida and DIDN'T stop to surf the beaches?

No one sane that HE knew of...

Taking a break from watching the less experienced of the group fall into the ocean, he leaned back on his elbows and stared at the sky. The deep blue was beautiful and although there were clouds, they were low-hanging, pillow-looking clouds.

It looked like someone painted the sky...even if those clouds signaled rain might come before the night was out. He smiled and looked around. Let it rain - he liked rainstorms. The feel of when drops hit his skin or his hair felt soothing. Even the harsher storms were something he liked.

Chass stopped next to him, dripping wet, and plopped down on his back. "You're missing all the fun man. The water is great."

He gave a small smile and looked to the waves as they crashed amongst the sand a small distance in front of him. "I'll bet. I'll go in...I just don't feel like it right now."

"You going to surf too? Perhaps show Rob how it's done?"

He snorted. "Rob couldn't figure out how to surf if he slept with that board."

Chass laughed and sat up, mimicking his position.

He felt eyes, but kept his studiously trained on the foam. Rarely was there silence from the nineteen year old, and that normally meant Chass was trying to figure something out. "What?" He finally queried, plopping back to the sand.

Chass's eyes followed him. "You seem a little out of it. Still thinking about something?"

A hand shaded his eyes from the sun to let him meet hazel. Chass was known as the most astute, able to read them a little better than the others. "Why would I be thinking about something?"

Chass ignored the bait to make a sarcastic comment. "Because you had the same look on your face at the hotel. Care to share?"

Brown closed again as his hand dropped to a toned chest. Chass was the youngest, but he was rather smart in his own way. "Not really."

A hand nudged his arm. "Come on...secrets don't make friends."

His lips twitched. "And some things are better left unsaid. It's not that big a deal."

"Is it that bad?"

His jaw clenched. He wasn't going to get out of this. Chass was rather pushy as well. Although he was as loudmouthed as they all were, the kid could keep a secret if asked. Which was nice to know.

"You remember that chick I was talking to last month that works the hotel desk?" His eyes squinted open enough to gain a nod. "Well she's got some problem with me and I've been trying to backtrack and figure out what I did wrong. It's bugging me and I can't fully put it out of my mind for some reason."

There was a small bout of silence before Chass lay back down and pillowed his head with his hands. The noises of people and the ocean covered their ears as time warped again and minutes stretched out. Finally, Chass's eyes slowly squinted to look at the same billowy clouds. "Maybe you like her?"

"I'm going out with Cameron."

Chass's lips pursed at that firm, pointed answer and ran down the options. "You were just being friendly right? Well perhaps it gets under your skin that she's not."

He nodded in agreement, but still felt a little frustrated. That couldn't be the only reason... "But these are probably the only times I'll see her. So it doesn't make sense that I get so worked up over her having an attitude."

Chass gave a brief smile. "You know not EVERYONE is going to like you. Maybe something you did or said that she caught is the cause. It could just be you... But you won't know unless you ask her."

"Still, what's the point? We'll be gone Sunday afternoon. Why make nice if she's got some problem with me and I'll never see her till the gods know when?"

Heaving a sigh and sitting up, Chass went to brush the sand off his back. "Then I couldn't tell you. But if it gets you this riled up, perhaps you should talk to her. Who knows...maybe there's something inside that says you SHOULD. Maybe that's why your mind can't let this alone."

He copied his friend and went for the spots Chass couldn't reach. After he finished, he turned and let his friend dust him off. "Who knows... All I know is, if this interferes with the concert tonight - what I've been waiting for since I got wind of it months ago - I am going to be VERY unhappy."

"Then practice putting it out of your mind and head into the water with me. You can look at all the bikinis and use that to take your mind off it."

He couldn't help but grin. "For a kid, you certainly come up with some BRILLIANT ideas."

Chass laughed and after a quick scout, found the other two playing around with a small group of girls. A hand pointed as Kelar picked up one shapely-looking girl and hoisted her on his shoulders. "Now THAT - Inaki my friend - has GOT to be the life."

An evil grin appeared as he snatched Chass's outstretched hand and started to jog over. "Then let's not let him hog ALL the fun."


	8. Ch 8

She didn't really know WHAT she felt when she saw him again. Having forgotten about him and his friends, it was a mild shock to see the four walking down to the breakfast area Saturday. Sadly enough, her thoughts the rest of that day were taken up by them until she and Sammy left for home and she managed to put it out of her mind again.

Thinking about him was inevitable...seeing him again, being reminded of his good looks and the smooth way he walked... Then it changed as he smiled at her and she remembered his LAST visit.

And the near humiliation she suffered by being toyed with emotionally.

She could barely hide the anger she felt the rest of her shift and sadly enough, snapped at her best friend when Sam only asked what was wrong. She apologized, but couldn't reveal the reason for her distress. She wasn't going to have Sammy try to get them alone again so they could talk. She wasn't going to get involved with another manipulator.

She was relieved to not see him again that day, being able to get off and not be in seeing or hearing distance. But come Sunday morning, she was not so lucky.

For some reason, he was up bright and early. He caught her in the breakfast area as she was setting things up. It was a little tense - probably on her part - to be the alone with him...as there was no one else up at seven thirty in the morning.

And Samantha was nowhere in sight.

Not that THAT matchmaker would try and save her from him.

Despite her inside turmoil, she kept an even face and tried to ignore him as best as possible to go about her job. Perhaps she was reading too much into this person...someone she didn't even KNOW. It was on the tip of her tongue to say a good morning, as a polite desk clerk would. But she watched out of the corner of her eye as he grabbed some coffee and couldn't speak. She let him roam the spread, feeling a small bit of stress.

Could he still remember her aloofness last time and from yesterday? Did he see her displeasure at being reminded that he was playing her, even though he had a girlfriend? If that was...he knew SHE knew he had one...

She turned to go get more stuff and was suddenly met the front of a jet black t-shirt. She blinked a few times and took a breath to calm the adrenaline at being startled. She also tried to keep from thinking how well that shirt fit him...

"Excuse me..." She nearly whispered, making no move to walk around. He stood in front of her and she got the reason that it wasn't on accident...

With coffee in one hand, eyes previously on the donuts behind her, he met her eyes in silence and tried to read what she was feeling. He had a small knowledge of that, having lived with his sister for many a year. It was almost like he could sense female emotions if he looked hard enough.

It was his quest today to talk to her and find out what her beef was with him. He enjoyed the concert, but as soon as the hotel came into view, the high of it died and he was barely able to concentrate on the fun he and the others had till they dropped early this morning. So in a way, it was still ruined...

He blinked, but didn't budge. Part of him was saying to move, give an apologetic smile for his behavior, and let it go. They were leaving mid afternoon, possibly later if the others didn't get up in time, and he doubted he'd come to Miami for a while. Even then, it wasn't guaranteed he'd run into her.

The other part was saying to find out what was wrong. Just as Chass hinted, maybe he DIDN'T like the fact that someone didn't like him. He didn't know if this was fate, but he knew it would annoy him until he either left again or resolved it.

He chose the former, even though the latter was the easy way out. But he wasn't a coward.

"If...if you want to get behind me, you have to let me by first." She answered, giving a small smile. There was no true friendliness in her voice, only professionalism.

Was she really a snob? He hoped not...for all his faithfulness in Cameron, this K was still attractive. Short, dark brown hair and deep green eyes...smooth skin and slender body. She was just the right height too. He was five eleven and he betted she was a little under him.

He mentally slapped himself.

"I had something I wanted to ask you actually." He answered, taking the smallest of steps backward.

She mentally felt a little better at bit of distance. What was it about this man that unnerved her?? And why couldn't she figure that out? 'Well other than his raw masculinity and the last time you had a man was -'

She mentally slapped herself.

Forcing herself to give him her attention, she pasted on a courteous smile. "More tourist sights? I'm afraid I don't visit a lot of this city, but I can try to help you if you need it."

His head shook before she finished. "Not that." A hand rose and his index almost accusingly pointed in her face. "I wanted to know one thing about you."

She stupidly blinked and fought not to fidget. Or blush. She looked at him with wide eyes, unconsciously giving her full attention. "About - about me?" Her brows furrowed. Their past talks rang through her mind. "But I already told you something about -"

"Not that either." He was becoming a little uncomfortable, even if a little of his anger was sparked. No backing out now.

She slowly shuffled back until she leaned against the counter and part of her was relieved that he didn't move any closer. Perhaps he didn't like the lack of distance any better than she did. "Sir, I don't think it's proper to be telling you anything about myself."

He bypassed her statement and almost harshly met her eyes. "What is your problem?"

She jerked back as if slapped and gaped at him. "Ex - excuse me?? My -" Rapidly blinking, she tried to pick herself back up.

Her problem?? Why would he ask THAT? Green averted to the carpet below. 'What if he's asking about...my past...' Her jaw clenched and she tried to keep an even face.

He knew she would get defensive, but he didn't think she'd react like THIS. Was that...sadness - no, regret? - in her eyes?? He blinked. But he'd come this far now, there was no dropping it. "You heard me. You acted rather rude yesterday. And then last month, you acted like a total stranger. I was just being nice and you threw it back in my face. What's your problem??"

Her eyes jerked up and defiance flashed. "MY problem? What's YOURS?" She took note of the confusion and irritation.

'Problem INDEED. This guy should take a look in the MIRROR and ask himself that!' She inhaled a deep breath to calm herself and looked around him. 'I don't need this. I'm wasting time having this...WHATEVER it is with him. If he's going to get in my face, he won't do it while I'm supposed to be at work!' She took a step around and only got one more toward the doorway when a hand whipped out and clutched her wrist.

He took note of how smooth it was, before the obvious came to mind and he discarded those thoughts. She tried to walk away. When he was trying to get answers, she walked away! His eyes narrowed.

Flashing green swung back as her upper body twisted. How DARE he! No one touched her without her permission! Her mouth set in a tight line and her eyes slanted. She doubled his annoyed look, but one feel of his grip told her she wasn't going to get free by wrenching herself from his hold. The hand at her side clenched into a tight fist. "Let GO of me." She icily ordered, straining as far away as her arm would allow.

"Again I ask - what's your PROBLEM? Why are you so pissed off at me when I've done NOTHING to you? I went over it in my mind and can't find one reason for you to act like a bitch."

Green narrowed to slits. Her anger boiled. Was she going to lose her job over this? This jackass could very well tell her manager that she was blatantly rude right now and she could get either written up or fired. Could she take that chance? Was it worth it to tell this guy off like she wanted? That could get her fired as well. But, if she could only argue her point to Barbara...

Her eyes closed. No. No good. She couldn't really go to the woman and argue that she was taking a high distaste to being flirted with by someone who looked like THIS. Barbara would probably think her stark, raving mad. Not to mention BLIND...

The tension was as thick as it could get. Still, she didn't feel like backing down. She didn't want to spill her reasons that led to this because it involved explanations she was NOT going to give. Things from her past...

"I'd like an answer." He muttered, intently watching her. She seemed to be warring with something. "You owe me that much for insulting me."

Green snapped open like a whip and anger burned again. "A bitch? Insulting?? If I wasn't so -" She took a deep breath. "I have half a mind to laugh at you...you hypocrite."

A brow lowered. Hypocrite? HIM? About what?! "I have NO clue what you're talking about."

A snide smile lit half of her mouth. He was quite the manipulator this one. Act like a flirt, a jackass, and then a clueless idiot all rolled into one. "I'M being a bitch? I'M being insulting? What about YOU? You think a girl would take kindly to being twisted around for your stupid idea of games?" With sudden strength, she jerked against his hold and managed to free herself. That was anger for you. A finger pointed at him as accusingly as his once pointed at her. "You look at me with those eyes of yours and that smile that says 'hey sexy-looking thing' when you didn't stop to think of where those things SHOULD be looking at!"

He was beginning to regret ever bringing this up. By now he was so lost it was all he could do to keep hold of his anger. It was like it drained out and shifted through the air to her. He was so utterly confused he imagined the blank look on his face would be rather comical if he had a mirror.

Finally, he snapped to reality.

"What in the HELL are you talking about??" He burst out, giving an odd look. "Yea I gave you a few charming smiles. I find you attractive okay? And I've seen your eyes... You're not going to say the same for me? You're a good-looking female and I was being appreciative! So sue me for LOOKING!"

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to." She nearly hissed, looking at him in narrow-eyed disgust. The pig had enough gall to ADMIT he checked her out! If she wasn't so ashamed, she would've been flattered. "You should say this to the one where your heart SHOULD lie to. I guess it's true that the cuter the guy, the bigger his ego." She took a step back. "You disgust me...checking me out with a girlfriend."

Now it was his turn to jerk back as if slapped. His eyes widened in astonishment, then narrowed in confusion. It took a few seconds for his brain to put words together. "You know about Cameron..." He dumbly muttered. "How do you know about CAM?" His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Have you been FOLLOWING me?" He demanded. "What're you...some kind of STALKER or something? Is this how you get your kicks??"

"No! I'm completely sane! But you and your friends speak loud enough to be heard down the hall. You think this place is soundproof?? As soon as I heard mention of why you shouldn't be flirting with me, I stopped to listen."

"So you were listening in on a private conversation?!"

"It was about ME! That hardly makes it private when you're talking about someone else behind their back! And you think **I** was being insulting? You insulted ME! Flirting with me when you KNEW you had a girlfriend. You're such an ass!"

"I'm a GUY. You going to tell me YOU haven't looked at other guys if you have a boyfriend?? It's nature. Animals will go for the strongest to continue the species. That's the way of the world."

"So you were looking at me with the intention of SLEEPING with me??"

"No!"

Her eyes narrowed. "The ends still don't justify the means. If you're going out with someone, you should be faithful until the end, or the two of you part." She heaved a sigh and scratched the back of her head. "Why can't men ever understand that? You're all alike..."

He gaped and dumbly blinked. Another insult! He nearly startled when she twisted around and squared her shoulders. "Listen, you got out what you wanted. You have your reason." A hand idly waved in the air, even though she kept her back to him. "I've wasted enough time talking to the likes of you. I'd rather not be around people like you anymore than I have to, so if you would be so kind as to treat the rest of your time around me professionally as it should be..."

He blinked again when she walked past the archway and disappeared around the corner. This REALLY wasn't what he expected and part of him said to run after her and demand a better explanation than that. 'I mean...she was pissed just cause I flirted with her and I'm going out with Cam? That's not like it's a BAD thing unless I DO anything about it.'

He had to admit that flirting with her when nothing would come from it wasn't exactly nice, especially if she became attracted to him. Not to mention he lived forty miles away and north of Miami.

The cons were rather abundant.

He looked to the floor, mildly feeling like the ass she proclaimed him. So what if he didn't consider her? He didn't think anything about it, since she didn't seem to have a problem until she listened in on his conversation. His lips pursed. She should've apologized for THAT, since she had no right to be listening to what he and his friends talked about. 'So much for professionalism...'

His eyes closed as he mentally sought for a solution. She gave him the answer he wanted, so what did he do NOW? Leave it alone? He knew should've done that from the beginning. But he wouldn't let himself be insulted and his honor tarnished...even though it seemed it wasn't HIS honor being insulted.

"This got WAY more complicated than I wanted it to..." He muttered, going back to his coffee. He picked it up and eyed the spread, but didn't feel very hungry... Still, he had to eat something because there wouldn't really be anything after this until he got home. With a sigh, feeling his pride take a licking, he snatched a glazed donut off the pile and sat at the table.

Merely halfway finished with his coffee he stood and went for the archway. This was getting him nowhere and he couldn't think in the same spot where the conflict happened. The only way he was going to get any GOOD pondering done was outside...in the peace and quiet of nature.

~*~*~

Noon rolled around and she breathed a sigh of relief. Finally, this hellish day was over and she wouldn't have to worry about that jackass ever again. What were the odds that they'd ever meet up again anyway??

"Hurry up and punch out so we can get going." She muttered, leaning against the wall next to the clock.

Light blue sent a wary, confused look her way. "What's your problem? You've been aloof and irritated the whole morning. Sure you hid most of it, but you can't fool me."

Hands in her pockets clenched to fists. ANOTHER person who asked what her problem was! She had VIABLE reasons for having a problem! Mentally berating herself for taking it out on her best friend, shoulders slumped with a sigh. "Sorry Sammy...I just had a bad morning."

Sam sent a smile and moved over to let her punch out. "No big deal. Care to tell me about it? You know you'll feel better."

That friendly smile was so inviting, but she would never live it down if she did. Sam would NEVER let it go until she made nice with that ass. 'No way in HELL am I letting that happen!' She quickly punched out and resisted the urge to tear her timecard in a gesture to release some anger.

They grabbed the few things brought with them and waved to some of the weekend housekeepers that passed.

"Bye K, bye Sammy! See ya next weekend!"

"See you guys!" Sam called.

"Girls!"

She giggled, her bad mood lifting a tad. Though housekeepers and front desk didn't socialize a whole lot, they got along pretty well.

By the time she got halfway to the car, already sweating under the hot temperatures of a noon summer, a voice called her name. A very FAMILIAR voice.

Her eyes fluttered closed with a quiet groan. She fought the urge to turn and address him. Just as she said, she DIDN'T want to be around manipulators like him anymore than she had to...having enough of it in the past. She ignored him and continued to the car as if she hadn't heard.

"K, what're you DOING?? That cute guy is trying to get your attention!" Sam hissed, grabbing her arm.

Unlike with Inaki, she didn't try to get away. She also tolerated when Sam shook her arm as if to make her see to reason.

"Matte! K...chotto matte kudasai!"

Yup, it was him alright.

Damn.

Sam yanked her in his general direction and she pointedly glared, getting a clueless look back. "Let's just go." She lowly answered, seeing him jog over through the corner of her vision.

Sam looked across the way, totally lost. She shook K's arm again as if to jog her senses. "But...he looks like he wants to talk to you..." A grin lit her face. "Maybe he wants to ask you out!"

It wasn't Sam's fault. The shorter girl was purposely in the dark about everything that'd happened between them. But she still couldn't keep the sickened look off her face.

He was glad to be able to snag her. After finishing breakfast and getting a shower, also finding an excuse to head back downstairs for a bit and lose the others' curiosity, it was noon. Not to mention he spent a lot of that time outside trying to think up a solution. By the time he gained one, he headed downstairs and found a different clerk than either of the two. Thankfully the girl told him they were just outside.

He stopped next to the two, but ignored the blonde. "Can I talk to you before you leave? Please?"

She met his eyes for a brief minute. They were mildly pleading and hoping, much like his voice. Her lips pressed together as her face smoothed. She wouldn't give him the pleasure of seeing her get angry again. "I have nothing more to say to you sir." She evenly answered, turning for the car. She headed toward the passenger side and set her stuff in back.

Sam was totally confused, but knew her best friend was pissed for some reason. That tone always conveyed she was hiding it...or at least trying to. Something was going on between the two and she wanted every last juicy detail.

But first...

A hand rested on a toned forearm and she fought not to drool. Whatever this guy's interest was...she'd switch places with K in a SECOND to have his attention! "Just a second and I'll straighten this out." She whispered, giving a friendly wink.

He could only stare bemused and took a step back as she rounded him to the passenger side.

"Are you NUTS?! Get out of that car!" Sam hissed, leaning through the window. "Do you know what you have here?? This guy looks pretty damn desperate to talk with you and you're turning him DOWN? This is your chance to find out whether or not he's got a girlfriend!"

She wanted to retort back that she already knew that question, but kept silent. If she said that, Sam would push her to talk to him anyway. Though, as it was, she was most likely going to if Sam got her way. Still, she wasn't going to say what was on her mind and kept her anger to herself. She was NOT involving Sammy in this.

The car handle clicked and the door carefully swung open to keep from hitting the other car. She stared in mild shock and met stern eyes. "Kalie Himmen, I'm NOT putting up with this silent treatment of yours." She minutely flinched at that mother-like tone. That rather LOUD tone. A hand reached in and grabbed her wrist in a tight grip. "You ARE getting out of this car because I am NOT driving away until you get this fixed. You wanna get fired over this?? Trust me, that guy can go to Barb and do it! Who do you think that bitch of a woman is going to believe, you or him?"

She winced again and felt a little bit of her cave. Sam was right about the bitch part... Still...the woman had the power to fire her and although she could tell her story against his, she didn't think it would really hold up as well as his could.

Her teeth grit. Somehow, SOMEWAY she was going to make Sam pay for interfering!

"FINE." She grit out, getting out. She met a cheerful smile and glared. Sometimes her friend's emotions swung as fast as a top, even though Sam really didn't hold grudges. "But you are NOT listening in on it! Stay in this car and wait for me to finish and then we ARE going home. No arguments."

"Gotcha. Now, scoot."

She stumbled a little when Sam pushed her toward him and managed to catch herself on the car before he did. That would've been icing on the cake.

Evenly meeting his eyes, shoving emotions away, she took a deep breath for courage. "Let's head back to the front doors." Not giving him time to say anything, she went for the tall brick archway and leaned against it. Her arms crossed and eyes closed as she waited for whatever he wanted to throw at her to come. After a while, she was forced to open her eyes when all was silent except for the outside world. "Well?"

He scowled. "You sure have an attitude problem..." He muttered, looking to the concrete below.

Her eyes narrowed. "I don't like being confronted with something that wasn't MY problem to begin with and then accused when acting accordingly to that."

"Personally, I think you overdid it a little bit with the accusations."

"I don't like being played." She grit out, jaw tightly clenching. Her eyes remained on the grass a few feet away.

"And I don't like being grouped in with any other guys. I've seen worse and hell even my FRIENDS can be shoddier than I am when it comes to women."

She snorted and kept her gaze away.

He sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. He didn't figure this would go very well. His lips pressed together as he scrambled for ideas. She apparently had a problem with men for some reason, if this and the previous arguments were any indication. "So out of all those guys you knew or know...how many of them have apologized for being an ass?"

She couldn't hide the tinge of hurt in her eyes or the small sneer to her lips. "Not a one."

He thought as much. But that was exactly what would give him the inside and smooth this over. "What would you do if any of them DID apologize?"

The hurt intensified and her jaw clenched. She would never forgive them for hurting her as they did. She gave everything and they helped turn her into the hidden creature she fought with. But she had to wonder. What WOULD she do? She had to admit, even though it hurt, she was pretty much over the worst of them. The curse of a naïve girl's heart was almost behind as she got closer to her twentieth birthday. Finally, she sighed and her shoulders slumped a little. "I - I don't really hold grudges that much."

A small smile tipped his lips. He believed her. Everything she said thus far had been honest and he would continue to believe her. A hand moved and floated in the air. "Then I'd like to apologize for any harm I've done. It's the least I can do to repair both our honors. I not only had mine tarnished, but also yours by my thoughtless words."

She stared at him in shock. Her eyes also took in his awaiting hand, extended in friendship. She didn't get it...what was he being so nice for?! WHY was he being so nice? That just didn't make sense...they would never see each other again, not unless one of them made an attempt.

Green dropped to his hand. She stared at it unblinking, pondering. It never wavered, never twitched. He was being patient and giving her the time to think.

Honor? Though she was no expert on Chinese or Japanese, she knew they held honor above a lot of things. That was rather thoughtful of him to talk about hers as well...even if she didn't believe in honor. But, she DID believe in pride. Perhaps they were one and the same. He crushed hers and made her feel used by his actions, though he didn't know he was doing it. She listened in when he didn't know.

Really...who was to blame here? Was it him, or was it her?

Certainly he was at fault. He initiated everything fully knowing he was taken in another city. But she learned this underhandedly and didn't confront him on it or ask him to stop. She despised him without him knowing it and never let him get a word in.

Perhaps NO ONE was at fault.

Finally, a hand slowly moved from its position over her chest and gingerly clasped his. His fingers tightened with the same slowness. A smile tipped her lips...even as his grew a little wider...

"Yamoi Inaki...last name first, first name last."

Her brow furrowed in confused amusement, but her smile widened at his humor. Her heart thumped a little faster at two realizations. He was introducing himself to start over...and she finally had his name squared around. "Kalie Himmen, first name first, last name last."

His smile turned to a dry grin. "So I heard. Kalie? Extended version of K..." She gave a nod, meeting his eyes. Her hand rested in his, already forgotten... "But you told me to call you K? Don't like your name or something?"

"It makes me feel like a five-year-old." She quietly retorted, her lips twitching again.

His grin unknowingly turned charming. "I happen to like it. It suits you."

Her face heated without help from the sun and she looked away. Her smile turned mildly embarrassed. Finally, she took stock of her position and stepped around, taking her hand back. "Well...I should...get going I guess. I hope you and your friends had a nice time in Miami. You were here for a concert right?" She gained a nod and took a few uneasy steps back. She continued walking backward to give him her attention. He followed at an effortless pace. "Ah, well I hope you had fun..." She felt like clearing her throat. Why was she back to square one again?? Being so shy and girly...she was angry at him not even twenty minutes ago!

"I did, but thinking of - well what's now water under the bridge - kept me mentally occupied for most of Saturday. But I'm glad we got that settled."

His smile was charming, but it was friendly. She still felt her heartbeat a little faster than it should and her face still red. "Ah...well...it is nice to know, I guess." She stopped at the trunk of the car and leaned on it. "I...hope you make it back safe and sound to wherever you're all headed then."

She was so nervous...it was endearing. She was back to the way she was when they met that Saturday. "Andytown. It really wasn't worth getting a hotel for, but for something that awesome last night...it was worth it."

She gave a brief smile and fought for words. She was never going to see him again, even if she now knew where he lived and where the place was. That wasn't too far away from here, true, and it was even closer to her hometown. But here they were making polite conversation.

He didn't really know what he could do next. Besides giving her his phone number and or email, given she had both of those, he wouldn't be able to visit. He assumed her schedule was hectic, and he had work as well, so visits weren't really something to partake in. At least not right away...

"Say...you ever use email?" He queried, smiling when her nose wrinkled. "I'll take that as a no."

"Take that as an 'I don't like computers'." She corrected, giving a small smile.

He gave her an odd look. "Considering the day and age we live in, that's rather amusing... But I guess that leaves me with one final option."

Her brows went up. "Which is?"

"You have any paper?"

"Somewhere in the car..." She muttered, guessing where this was going.

A friendly smile popped back into place. "Well I was just wondering if you could loan me a quick piece and pencil or pen. I'd like to keep in contact with you. Friends if you would. If you don't mind that is..."

That smile was disarming and she couldn't fight the logic at how pointless it would be. But Sam was right about one thing. She would let one damn fine man go to waste...even as a person.

She decided to humble him and see where this was playing out. When he gave back pen and paper, she found his address listed. She blinked...having expected a number. None was listed.

"There. That way...when you wanna write me, you can at your leisure. As a sign of trust, I won't ask for yours until I get my letter."

Snail mail in this day and age. It was a good thing the post offices hadn't stopped in the hundreds of years since they were created... She looked to the ground, gently fisting the paper. How utterly thoughtful. She was suddenly seeing him in a little better light.

With a tiny nod, she managed a wisp of an embarrassed smile and met his eyes. "I'm...pretty busy... I've got classes and work all week and weekend long... But......I think I can find the time to write."

It was a good thing he was standing close enough to hear or he would've missed her whisper. He grinned again and nodded.

A honk sounded and they both jumped. Green whipped around to look through the back window and was suddenly staring at a watch, Sam's finger pointing to it. Her eyes widened before whipping back to Inaki's. "Speaking of classes...I've gotta get going. I'll...write."

"I'll be waiting. But not holding my breath." He kidded, heading back to the front doors.

She waited only until he entered the outer doors before hopping in and buckling up. "What was THAT for?"

"I thought I gave you two enough time together. Not to mention you looked like you needed to be bailed out."

She scowled, but didn't argue that point. As Sam sped the short distance back home, she looked at the paper in her hand.

_"I'll be waiting."_

She blushed and hastily put it in her pocket.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Matte-Wait Chotto matte kudasai-Please wait a minute/second


	9. Ch 9

By the time she got around to remembering exactly where she stashed the paper Inaki gave her, she nearly washed it with the rest of her laundry and lost the address entirely.

'I am so stupid! I can't believe I forgot it in the fifth pocket!' She sighed and pulled out the scrap, scowling at herself as she stared at the address. 'I can be such an IDIOT sometimes...'

It wasn't as if she did it on purpose. By the time she got home, she stuffed the scrap in her jeans while trying to carry everything up to her room to be put away. By that time, she was already thinking of homework and what to start on first. Classes came after that...and then her and Sam's traditional movie time. She changed clothes and tossed them on her bed to leave for classes before she could stop herself.

Still...it was no excuse. Inaki gave her that paper two weeks ago! But it was NOT good timing with finals that same week... Final projects were due, and a few days studying in class by a few generous teachers. For the two weeks since, she'd been cramming her brains out over that time for classes. It was a wonder she even wanted to LOOK at a piece of paper!

'I wonder if he's mad at me for not writing him for so long...' She pondered, staring at empty, lined sheet. Teeth lightly nibbled on the inside of her lip. 'I wonder if he even remembers me.' Her eyes tightly closed while a hand gripped her mechanical pencil. Whether or not he'd forgotten her was irrelevant! And besides...what did that matter?

Exhaling a small sigh, her eyes opened and stared at the paper. What EXACTLY was she supposed to say? It wasn't like she did this all the time. Heck...she figured this to be her first time! 'It's not like I'm a FAN of doing the pen pal system with people I meet off the street...' Dark green darted to the clock on her nightstand. The afternoon was waning... She had to start cooking lunch soon, so she might as well stop procrastinating and start.

The eraser absently tapped against her cheek as she slouched in the chair and stared at the lines. So what did she start WITH?

Part of her mouth scrunched up. Her eyes went to the neatly stacked textbooks at the corner, notebooks sitting next to them stacked just as neatly. She was so glad the summer semester was over! Her fall schedule was set up and ready to go...now she just had to wait the remaining two weeks out and pack for home. A small smile tipped her lips. It was hard, but she managed to secure the whole next week for her mother.

Just for her mother...

A small bit of loneliness hit. She missed the woman. There was no time to drive, always using Sam's car to be transported over. She had no car, just her bike... She had no free time either. Part of her made it that way and wanted it like that. Time passed faster with a lot to do...but at the same time it drove her nuts half the time. She was looking forward to going home again.

Her head harshly shook, hand fisting the pencil again. Enough! If she kept up this trail of thought to WHEREVER it was going, she wasn't going to get a damn thing accomplished - what she set out to do - and then she'd have Sam's stomach to deal with.

She gave a wry grin and sat up. Like she wanted THAT mass amount of whining to listen to.

Resolve hardened, she hunched over the desk and propped her head up. How to start?

She didn't want to be too formal, as he didn't want that during their few meetings...but she didn't want to act like they'd been buddies forever and ever. Finally, it came to her. She smirked. Simple...yet witty.

~*~*~

_Hello Yamoi Inaki (last name first, first name last),_

_I'm very sorry for not having written before now, but the whole thing came at a bad time. Classes just got out today and I've been dealing with finals the past two weeks. Then add my two jobs and all the other stuff I do with Sam - the girl you met before - onto that and I've barely had time to breathe!_

_But enough of that... How have you been doing? Well I hope. I'm...not too sure what to write... I had a time trying to figure out how to even start this. This is the first long-distanced pen pal bit I've ever done. The ignorance over misplacing your address is proof of that. Sorry again. Suppose I should get on with this... As I said before, I really don't know what to say. I guess...I can start off with saying that...thank you for apologizing. No guy has ever done that before for me and safe to say, you shocked me! I take back what I said before - you're NOT like other guys._

_But anyway - again... As you can see, I'm not really articulate when it comes to impromptu words. If I knew what to say, I'd have no problem. I'm mostly a planner at heart. But I know stuff like this comes with a background check at least, so I hope you won't mind it if I refrain from most of it. Nothing personal...I'd rather not discuss it._

_I don't mind talking about my life where I live now. I live with Samantha Merth, who is also my best friend, and have since I started college. We've lived together for nearly two years now. I found an ad she placed for a roommate and checked it out. I was thankful enough to have such a great location...and to've met such a wonderful girl. Sam's a little older than me by eleven months, but she acts so immature! But that's the kind of person she is and I wouldn't have her any other way. We're kind of opposites. I'm sure you could tell by how we act around each other. She's a lot more...bubbly I guess you'd call it. She's more open than I am and has a wide variety of tastes in all sorts of things. She's a great person and I'm fortunate to be around her...if I said that already, I'm stressing it again._

_I guess I should talk about myself, shouldn't I? This is actually a lot harder than it looks, so I hope you're not laughing at this. I know I should be erasing the whole thing, or getting a fresh sheet...but words on paper is the only communication we've got. So I guess I should let everything go as is and let you be the judge..._

_Oh god...I just read what I wrote...but I still won't get a new sheet!_

_Myself...yea. I was born in Florida, but my hometown is Westchester - eleven miles away or so. I was born in September on the fifteenth, 2077. So my twentieth birthday is right around the corner. One would think I'd be celebrating the turn of a new decade, but I have a feeling I'll be either working or in class. That's the price I pay for buckling down._

_Anyway...so when were you born? You live in Andytown...you live there all your life like I did in mine until I started FSU? Westchester is my hometown, even though Miami technically is now._

_Sam's family lives here and we go over whenever we can to visit. Mostly on holidays, but whenever we can squeeze time in to do laundry. Now THAT'S a rather sad fact...neither of us have enough time to do laundry! But I DO wear clean clothes, thank you!!_

_Digressing again...I'll try to stay on track. Ah...what else... Oh yea, I've been going to FSU for basically two years. I started the fall I graduated high school...so I'm a sophomore now. I'll be a junior starting in the fall. But I've got a lot more time to put in before I get my major. I've got multiple actually. I know a lot of people only work for one, but what good is a single major if you can't get a job with it? That's why I've decided on a sub major. A major in history - general history - with a sub in Anthropology. I'm a big history buff. I don't know why, but things of the past just fascinate me._

_I work at the Coffee Works Monday through Friday on late night hours. My boss leaves it open until midnight for any stragglers and I don't mind. The place is dead and I get studying done. There's always three nice elderly guys that come in like clockwork every night. You saw them, if you remember them. They're the nicest people! They keep me company, even if I can't study the rest of the night. But it's worth it to hang with them._

_The weekends I work at the Hyatt in the morning to noon shift. I WOULD'VE liked to had weekends free for myself and any studying or projects that come up, but income outweighs free time. It's all good...it builds character and I don't mind hard work. Really I don't. I help Sammy out with half the bills to make up for it. I put a few dollars here and there into a savings account she doesn't know about for either a rainy day, an emergency, or to help pay off some of my financial aid after I graduate. Bless financial aid!_

_I bet I'm boring you. Sorry if I am...I'm a boring person. I'm a total bookworm. If I'm not studying or working or going to school, I'm spending my free time sleeping or hanging out with Sam. So really...if you wanted to keep in contact, this was the best - and only - way to go._

_I don't expect you to write back if you don't want to. I assume you might have forgotten about me by now and are wondering who sent you this. I won't be offended if you don't want to keep in contact with such a boring person. Like I said, I don't really hold grudges. It takes too much energy for me to be angry that long. And it's better to make friends than enemies..._

_Well I suppose I should close it at two pages. I hope you don't mind that I used the back of the same paper instead of another...being a broke college student and all. _

_I guess I'll...talk to you sometime._

_Kalie - CALL ME K! - Himmen_

_July 25, 2097_

He smiled and set the paper on his bed, reclining against the pillows.

What a character.

Hands folded behind his head as he silently stared at the ceiling and pondered her letter.

No, character wasn't right... A piece of work.

She didn't seem all that boring when he met her face to face. She was actually quite spirited and he liked that.

_...I really don't know what to say. If I knew what to say, I'd have no problem._

His eyes closed. He could feel the teensiest of emotional tides wind down after being sucked into the personality that shone through her writing.

She had a sense of humor at least. He could picture her smiling at points when she wrote. Having met her gave him a nice mental picture of her to remember. After what seemed a while, he sat back up and gathered the piece. Time to respond before the post office closed and he couldn't get his letter out. He snatched the envelope as he slid off the bed and went to the desk he and Jayden shared. One side of his nose wrinkled at finding some of her things strewn about.

Damn onna didn't even know how to clean up after herself!

Heaving a sigh, he gathered her things and dumped them on her bed instead of putting them where they belonged. Let her pick up her OWN mess!

He pulled the wood chair out and plopped down on the cushion put there for padding. In mere seconds, he fished through his side of the desk drawers and grabbed his stationary. It wasn't anything grand. His okaasan gave it to him for his last birthday in case he wanted to use it. He hadn't yet, though now was the prime opportunity.

He didn't understand why she gave him stationary, complete with an expensive-looking pen and pencil set. When he asked, she said that she saw the Japanese kanji decoratively littering the paper and thought of him.

He pulled out the pen and scooted the chair closer. Time to get to work...

_Dear Kalie - CALL ME K - Himmen,_

_Nice, sarcastic intro...thought I'd start with one of my own. Don't stress the timeframe, I understand. You SOUND like a very busy girl! I couldn't imagine having to juggle two jobs AND school! I did the school bit for a semester or two when I got done with high school and it was too much for me. Haven't been back, but haven't sweated it._

_I'm doing the same as when you and I parted. Life got back to its dull, boring routine, so I'm happy to get your letter. Gives me something to do._

_There's nothing to be sorry about. Geez you apologize too much! I find that funny because you never apologized to me in those few times I was around you. Kidding, kidding! Don't get angry, that was meant as a sarcastic retort. You know me - or you will anyway - I'm full of dry humor and massive sarcasm._

_I'm glad you wrote without trying to go back and make it sound better. That would cut your personality from me, so don't in the future. And if you need guidelines on what to write - geez, I can't believe you said that in the first place - just write what you want. I'M not making rules here, and I'll read whatever you send. Don't go back and proof anything...leave it as you first put it. That way it's like I'm talking to you face to face. It's more fun that way._

_It was nice to see your change about my status. Like I said, I don't like being grouped with all those other guys and I'm glad you admitted that. Thanks for that._

_So that blonde chick is your roomy and co-worker huh? She SEEMS bubbly...though that immature crack you made also fits. To me, she was rather outgoing, but it's nice to see people like that. I'm not, so I can't really imagine what it's like to be shy._

_I don't really mind if you don't want to say anything about your background. I'll want to know something eventually...but now is just to get to know you and visa versa. I personally have nothing to hide, so I'll spill my guts if you don't mind._

_I was born and still live in this hickville of a town. Andytown is so small I swear...you probably couldn't find it on a map! But I can't complain...the city is pretty oriental based, so I'm right at home. It's spread out and that means where I live has a good chunk of land around it. Not much...but our yard is HUGE!_

_I also met the three guys you saw here as well. They live on the outskirts of town, though Kelar is somewhere in the middle. It's kind of hard to write without pictures or me being a tourist guide. But Chass, Kelar, Rob, and I are all best buddies...though I'm sure you saw us bickering a lot at each other. That's just us, and I'm assuming that's guys in general. That's how we show the love._

_If you haven't noticed by now, I am nearly 100% Japanese...proud to say. My family owns a grocery store-like business and everyone in my family works there. Even me. It's quite the setup and it's been in my family since my great grandparents and my great-great grandparents came from Japan when my great grandfather was two, I think. When my great grandfather was twenty-four - if I'm right - he started it and because of the ethnic backgrounds, hit it off. He was lucky as far as entrepreneurs went._

_My family background is pretty cool. My great grandparents met when they were younger than you. It couldn't have been easy, but they got married before they were considered legal by the courts. I think they were so close to eighteen that it passed. Not like they could do much with Japanese rules and influence in this city. _

_Anyway...my grandfather met my grandmother as she worked in the store and that was the end of that. My father was born before they were married. I don't know ALL the details, but I think it was a family dispute until my great grandparents gave in. Traditional marriages and all...it's always a shock when the kids break tradition. Thankfully, that stupid rule is in the past where it belongs and I don't have to worry about it! Big relief for ME._

_While they're fully Japanese, my mother isn't. She's totally American and I think she's back from Yankee blood. My father met her on a business trip he made for the store in a larger city. They were married at nineteen, a year older than my grandparents, and another year later than my great grandparents. Is it just me, or did people marry really young back then?_

_Narrowing it down...I have a sister who's twenty-five, and I'm twenty-two. I turn twenty-three in a few weeks. The beginning of August. I can't wait...you can picture me jumping with joy can't you? ...More to the point of twirling my finger and whoop-de-do'ing the whole thing._

_I live in a house with three other generations and my current. Quite packed you'd think, but the space works out. This house has been in my family for a while. My grandparents lived here and bought the house soon after they were married. My parents were invited to live with theirs, and I was born here. My great grandparents lived here even before I was born - that's how tight-knit my family is._

_A little bit more about me before I cut this off... Like I said, I work at the family business. I do the so-called grunt work, lifting and moving stuff. I also do a little cleaning of the place. I'm part of a system that keeps it going. We're a family business and there's enough to keep that place well stocked. There's me, my sister Jayden, my mother Kristine, my father Omo, my grandfather Kekoy, my grandmother Mamorah, my great grandfather Setsumo, and my great grandmother Mira. We have our part, and eight is definitely enough! The best thing is...I get to make my own hours, as long as I help out. Score huh?_

_I suppose I'll cut this off before the post office closes and I miss my chance to get this sent out. Write me when you feel you have time...don't think you HAVE to. I don't wanna be an obligation or anything, just cause I said I wanted to keep in contact. I'd have to give you a talking if you thought that. ...More of my humor - bear with it._

_Awaiting your second letter,_

_Inaki...just call me that, okay?_

_July 26, 2097_


	10. Ch 10 7 31 2097 1st Commentary

The one thing wrong with waking up at seven in the morning for classes was the internal clock set from the start of those classes that refused to die. In essence, it wasn't a BAD thing to wake up early in the morning, as a person could catch more of the day that way. But not at ten in the morning...and NOT on vacation!!

She groaned and roughly tossed the pillow over her head to block the light. That lasted all about two minutes until she started breathing in used air and was forced to move the pillow away before she suffocated.

Heaving a sigh, she rolled to her back and stared at the ceiling. Her ears perked up to birds chirping outside the window and found it at least pleasant to wake up to. SO much better than her alarm with that incessant BEEP, BEEP, BEEP -

A small groan sounded as a hand slapped her forehead. She growled. "I've been hearing that so much I can hear it in my HEAD!"

She smiled despite herself and lazily slapped her cheeks to wake up a little more. After that, she sat up and gave a stretch and yawn. Her eyes went to the clock, finding it twenty to ten and decided that was late enough to sleep in. As much as she'd like to sleep in more, she was awake. But that was a rather nice thing, sleeping in until one woke up of their own violation. It put her in twice the better mood than if she had to hop out of bed, sometimes straight out of REM, and turn that beeping off.

Still stretching her arms, she ambled to the door and opened it with another lazy yawn.

She couldn't complain about waking earlier than she wanted really...she had four days of waking on her own. That was paradise right there. Then add on that she slept in her old bedroom, now turned into a guest room specifically for these times, and she had two more days to spend with her mother.

A smile peeked through as she claimed the bathroom first and locked her mother out.

By the time she was awake and ready to get the day going properly, she opened the bathroom door and the smell of cooking pancakes hit her full force. It took all of ten seconds for her stomach to start growling. With a deep inhale, a dreamy smile spreading her lips, she hung up the towel from over her head to dry and shut the light off.

"Morning dear. I hope you left some water in those pipes for ME."

Rounding the corner found her mother still in her pajamas with a spatula scooping up the latest batch of their breakfast.

She eyed the spread in appreciation and hands itched to take one off the stack and devour it. Rarely did she manage to eat this good unless she was here. She was spoiled by her mother's cooking and that was fact.

She found the spatula in her hand and dumbly stared at the elder. "Be a dear and finish this batter up. I made a double batch because I know you'll eat at least five and I'll have about that too. The rest we can tear up and throw out back for the birds." She was given a small pat on the shoulder as her mother breezed past to get ready.

Her nose wrinkled. The birds INDEED. There wasn't that much batter left, and even if there was, no WAY were those lucky little feathered friends getting a CRUMB. She would make sure of that! A hand started reaching for the stack...

"And keep your hands out of the batter and the pancakes until I eat with you!"

Rats.

With a pouting look, hands pulled away and sullenly went to do her mother's bidding.

In the time her mother took, she had the rest of the pancakes fixed and set the table. She found a small plate of scrambled eggs kept warm in the microwave and set that out as well. By the time she had places, food, and condiments arranged, it could've rivaled the hotel's looks when she set up. Not much, but not bad. Hands went to her hips in amusement, spatula still in hand. Well, not quite, but it looked rather classy.

After a nod in satisfaction, she went to put the dishes to soak and hopefully sneak a pancake before her mother arrived. Not that she wouldn't dig in ANYWAY, but her stomach was demanding food and it wanted it NOW. Ironically enough, as she sat down, her mother arrived.

"Thank you for setting everything up dear. You go ahead and dig in. I know you're hungry."

She gave a nod of thanks and immediately snatched two pancakes and a large helping of eggs. These were the days she wished she was still at home.

"So what do you want to do today?"

She spared a glance off the plate, contemplating that. What COULD she do today? She spent almost all her time with her mother, doing enough sight-seeing and making sure to bring Sammy back something as requested. Like always.

Two days left...shouldn't she do something by herself in this city? Not that she didn't love spending time with the only real person she could call family, but -

'Four whole days.' She mused. 'I SHOULD do something by myself. I'm sure mom wouldn't mind being lazy, though she'll probably just clean the house in the time she neglected it.' A small smile appeared. She gained a little bit of her mother's cleaning skills and kept the house she shared with Sammy picked up. She felt she at least helped out a little more that way. It was nice that the place was generally kept up. She would hate for her mother to have to exert herself anymore than she already did.

The last thing she wanted to do was worry about that.

"I think...I think that today...maybe I'll take my bike on the nature trail." A small smile appeared. "I haven't done that in a year at least...it'd be nice to go and check the city out my way." There was a single nod and the two went back to eating again. She wondered if she'd hurt her mother's feelings, but didn't see any ill looks. She was glad for that. She didn't want to ruin the bond she had solely because she wanted to do something by herself for once.

She felt like giving herself a small knock on the head for that thought. Her mother was the one to help teach her independence in the first place! She gave a mental shake and stood to take her dishes to the sink. Just before she was out of reach, a hand snuck out and stuck a pancake in her mouth.

'One for the road.'

~*~*~

Despite the summer heat, the day couldn't be more perfect. There wasn't a cloud in the deep blue sky and although that didn't help temperature wise, it sure made the sky prettier to look at.

She inhaled and stopped under a tree on the concrete path. Her eyes looked around at the foliage and the hills behind it. Even fifteen miles or so away from the ocean, the city still had a minute smell of salt water. She had a small like for the smell, though she hated water. She liked the ocean...it was just a pity she never learned how to swim.

Heaving a small sigh, she pushed off and started on her journey again. Having gone a few miles, part of that through road with nothing under it, the shade felt nice. She wouldn't have a problem with staying all day, but then she wouldn't get to where she was going. And contrary to her first thoughts about this outing, there actually WAS someplace she had in mind to visit.

She inhaled the smell of the nearby ocean again and smiled. She was such a nature lover. It was sad how much she liked watching the ocean, but would never participate in it. She gave a small pout. 'Being a bookworm did me more harm than good during my summers off of school.'

Indeed... Having holed herself in her room, reading book after book, she never learned how to swim like other kids all through elementary and middle school. By the time high school rolled around, she gave up on trying to learn. And sacrificed many a day sweating when she could've been down at one of the many pools cooling off.

Her nose wrinkled and she absently pushed sunglasses higher on her face. It was so ironic that she lived in a city almost on the ocean and couldn't enjoy it. Sure, she sometimes sat where the waves rolled in, but nothing more than that. Her fear of drowning didn't permit her to enter water past her knees, for fear of being off-balanced and swept with the tide. She was too embarrassed about not being able to swim at her age, and not a lot of people knew about it unless she was forced to tell.

Shaking her head, she gained a little speed and removed her hands from the bars, gliding in precision as her arms swept straight out.

"Enough of those thoughts girl." She muttered, eyes briefly closing. The little amount of wind cooled off the sheen to her body and felt like heaven. When she slowed the bike started wobbling...but being so in tune with using her bike after so long, hands were already steadying it as her feet pushed off again. She removed them a second time and let them fall slack at her sides as she watched the path pass by. Every few seconds, her feet would kick off and give her another small bit speed.

She passed maybe a mile like that until her backside started aching from leaning on it so harshly and resumed her previous position.

She used that change to take a right off the trail and head into the city for where she was heading. Thankfully, she was nearly on top of it and the sun's glare on windshields could be seen. A grin tipped her lips as she sped up just a little more with the promise of getting back to shade.

In the few minutes it took to cross the park and hit the water arena, noises from inside hit her and she knew right away it was another busy day. That meant she shouldn't be as big a pest as she originally intended to be. As she chained up her bike, she grabbed her water bottle to fill. 'So be it then. I wonder if they still remember me...'

She didn't know whether or not she would be intruding at a place of business, especially since she didn't like people coming in just to talk when she should be working. As if she had anyone that would do that in Miami...

She reveled in the temperature difference and let her eyes adjust to the lighting in the bathhouse. There were two people on duty, one she recognized. Her lips slowly moved. "Oh SHERYL..." She singsonged, feeling a small emotion of trepidation as an auburn head whipped toward the source of her name. Would Sheryl recognize her? The last time they hung out was before she left for Miami and they hadn't really kept in contact... Would her high school friends remember her? She hadn't really changed in those short years.

"KALIE!!"

She needn't have worried.

That tall body nearly scrambled out from behind the employee area and shot to her, arms thrown wide, to embrace her and nearly lift her off the ground in a tight hug.

Oh the pains of being the shorter of the two...

She smiled and hugged the girl back, feeling a small bit of relief at the introduction. 'I guess...distance and time DOESN'T matter to some people.'

"Kalie Himmen...my god how have you been??" Sheryl rambled, giving a wide smile. "Come on back, I know it's employees only, but it's not like anyone cares."

Her hand was snatched up as she was led through the same door Sheryl exited from and plopped down on a padded bar stool. There was a glare from the water through the main window and she was momentarily drawn to it, squinting when it hit her eyes.

"So?? Tell me what's going on! I haven't seen you since...last Christmas maybe? Or was it thanksgiving before that? You haven't changed, you know that? Not physically at least." Sheryl propped her head up on the counter and stared at her. Hazel eyes waited in anticipation.

She smiled and leaned an elbow against the counter. "Well, I'm still at Florida State. Classes let out last Friday and I decided to take part of my two weeks off to spend with my mom. Sammy drove me here and I biked it on the trail up."

"Ah, Samantha Merth. That girl is a strange one." Sheryl's nose wrinkled a little through a good-humored smile.

She gave an evil grin. "At least you don't LIVE with her." She giggled, getting a wider smile from her friend. "All I hear her complain about is the heat and how hungry she is half the time. But at least she's a willing participate to my cooking antics."

Hazel knowingly twinkled. "You and your cooking fetishes... Last time you'll ever convince me to eat tuna, noodles, and mayo." 

She laughed, her cheeks heating a little. "Hey...it's not ALL that bad. And you ATE it..." She defended. "Not to mention you were hungry and mom hadn't gone grocery shopping. There wasn't much food in the house. I had to improvise SOMEWHERE."

Sheryl leaned back and stretched. "Just don't improvise around me unless I know what you're making and can say no to it." After giving her legs the same treatment, the girl settled back and absently looked to the pool through the window.

"So...how've YOU been? How's Hall? He out there today?" Deep green went to the window as well, searching what she could see.

"Yea, he's guarding part of the deep end. But we get to call time in a few minutes, so you'll be able to go see him swim around."

Her gaze ducked to the concrete floor, fighting a small flush. "You are forever going to hold that over my head aren't you? I'm not going out with your brother!" She mumbled, fighting a sheepish smile.

"Though he's my brother, I'm going to shamelessly plug him this once."

A hand drummed on the surface until she looked up, feeling a little frustration rise. This was NEVER going to end...

"You've been friends with me and Hall since high school. That's five years at LEAST. During that whole time, my brother has been nice enough to you. He's kind, he likes animals, he has plans for the future, and you know he still has an interest in you." A tanned hand snaked out and rested over hers. "I persuaded you to go out with him once...why didn't you agree to a second?"

Green rested on the scenery past the window, mind screaming in frustration at how much she wished this never came about. She and Sheryl were pretty good friends, considering it being a high school friendship, and she was glad to be able to hang on to it when they graduated. But since then, all she'd been hearing was how she and Hall should go out.

Her lids lowered a tad. It wasn't that she didn't WANT to go out with Hall. He was everything his twin proclaimed. She just...she didn't know. At the time...she was still getting over Brad... She didn't WANT anyone that way. No one but Brad...

She stopped so suddenly with that thought and forced herself to be angry. 'No more. No thinking about your screwed up relationships. It's not like Sheryl really knows what happen...'

She rarely told a soul what happened with Brad. She didn't tell anyone how much he hurt her. Only Sam knew what happened, and that took a lot of prying, mostly when there was no other way to explain her behaviors. Sheryl and Hall knew she was going out with the guy, but they didn't know the pain she endured near the end.

Abruptly, she stood and twisted her gaze toward the front. She blinked upon seeing a few people leaning on the counter and no one up front. "You have customers." She muttered, pointing.

Sheryl made a frustrated noise, but headed up. "Where's that lazy bum when I need her? She was here when you arrived..."

Those few minutes gave her time to force resurrected emotions to the back of her mind, where they still lingered. She would stop thinking about the emotional pain she endured from that jackass. She pulled the hate from the depths of her mind and latched onto it. Her gaze narrowed as she swung around and glowered out the window, using the glare to hide her eyes' real intent. Never again would she fall for someone like that. She learned her lesson...learned it twice actually. She would never be used physically or emotionally, just because she wanted to be with a person. She would be her own person and not latch onto ANYONE or need them as much as she needed Brad and Arthur.

Inhaling a deep breath, she held it until her lungs burned and carefully let it out without anyone hearing. As she exhaled, she forced the bad away, making her clamp down on the happiness she felt upon seeing her high school friend again. 'No more dwelling on it...you have for too long already.'

"Alright...now that I had to get back to work after seeing my good friend in so long, I feel like punishing someone." Deep green caught Sheryl moving to the far wall, a small grin rising at that tone. "Attention swimmers...please exit the water for a pool safety check..."

She couldn't help chuckle. Nothing like forcing a whole lot of people out of cold water with little to no wind on a cloudless, hot day. That was true punishment indeed.

"Now, shall I go gain my brother and let you say hello?"

She smiled and hurried to catch up. "I'll go with you." About half a dozen splashes drew her attention to the deep end. She focused on the bodies heading to the other side, totally submerged, before surfacing for air and heading back the same way.

One body held her attention over all the others, even though all the male lifeguards were rather nice to look at. No...what made this body stand out was the cropped auburn hair, mildly toned body with the hint of a tummy, skin bronzed by many days outside guarding kids, and identical hazel eyes she just got done looking at, covered by sunglasses.

She smiled as he surface, already heading over. She stood mere feet away from the edge, smiling down as his arms propelled him off the side and paused. She knew he was staring - she could feel the tugging at her mouth to give a self-conscious, shy smile. They hadn't spoken since she and Sheryl had...it'd been so long...

"K!" That body eagerly hauled the rest of the way out of the pool and wrapped her in a sopping wet hug before she could protest his state.

"You're all WET Hall!" She screeched, though the water felt good on her skin. Not that she was going to tell HIM that.

Hall pulled back with a nearly sheepish grin, staved by the fact of seeing her again. His head dipped to take in her attire, what was now darkened where he touched her, and grinned wider. "You'll dry." An arm slung over her shoulders as he led her to his twin and the three headed into the employee area.

She heaved a sigh, fighting the heat at her cheeks in embarrassment. 

"So tell me, what's been going on? You still at college? Still in Miami? What'd you come back for? Did you come all this way just to see me?"

"One at a time Hall." She helplessly mused, hands in front in defense. "I'll have to explain this again. You missed the first report to Sheryl."

'But this time...no digging into the past.'

~*~*~

"You have everything?"

"Yes mother."

"Are you sure??"

"YES mother."

"Well I don't want you to have to drive all the way back here. I know you're busy, even if you have a key."

"We'll be okay madre. If K forgets anything, we'll be able to come back. After all...we've both got another week off of classes before the fall semester starts."

"God bless time off!" She added, grinning. She grabbed the backpack and hauled it to her shoulder. There was a second of silence before she met her mother halfway for a hug.

"You be good now."

"I will."

"Study hard. Get good grades."

"I will."

"I'll miss you."

"I know."

"I love you."

She returned the small squeeze, giving her mother a kiss on the cheek in response. When the two pulled away, she rested a hand on a strap. "I'll write or call when vacation swings around." She quietly answered.

"Come on K; let's not drag this out like always." Sam pleasantly answered, clapping a hand on her shoulder.

Deep green sent a small glare, before sullenly nodding. Sam was right...as always. She DID drag it out too much, but it was just so nice to see her mother sometimes. As they headed down the stairs, she waved to her mother a final time and got in the car.

"So, what'd you get me huh? Anything good? Is it edible?? I suppose you're not going to tell me until we get back."

She smiled and reclined in the seat as Sam headed down the street. Deep green focused on the top of the car, mostly to keep herself from watching her old neighborhood flow by. She hated leaving - here was one of the few places she felt like she didn't have to be someone else. Not to mention she was away from school and all the responsibilities she'd taken. It was rather nice to let them all go sometimes.

The smallest of weights dropped in her lap and she looked to it in wonder. An envelope glared back at her as it caught the sun. "What's this?"

"The deed to my car. What does it look like?"

She tried to scowl at Sam's tone and turned the letter to see the address. Her eyes widened and a small excitement hit her veins. "It's...from Inaki!" A grin spread as she stared at his handwriting.

"No duh. Do you know anyone ELSE who sends you snail mail?"

As smart-aleck as Sam was being, she was right. Other than bills, she didn't get mail. Which was why she was beginning to like conversing with Inaki. Even if this was the start of their pen pal relationship. "When did this come?" She muttered, breaking the envelope open.

"Thursday afternoon. I thought I'd bring it with me so you could read it on the way back."

She smiled, already unfolding the pages. "Thanks Sam."

"De nada chica."

**Spanish language will be translated under the Japanese when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.**

**Translations: **De nada chica-You're welcome/It's nothing girl

@~~~~~ Decided to put up a commentary every 10 chapters and explain a few things.

People have made mention of the eye color thing instead of me using he/she/her/him or names. There's a point to that. Especially with Kalie- one needs to know what her eye color is for later chapters and I'm stressing it by putting it down so much. Also a helper for Inaki - to help remind those which form he's in.

Some mentioned the plot. The story is going to go slow and chs will be about average length. Chs will be 11-12+ pages when I start unveiling the plots more. When I do, chs could be over 15, so expect a little length in the future - and I mean around ch 25-30. Until the MAIN plot starts going, characters will be original...as much as reincarnated characters are going to get. I claim Cam, Sam and all the Merths, Mrs. Himmen, all the Yamoi family and some of Inaki's personalities, and all of Kalie's personalities. The reader MUST pay attention to Kalie and her personality traits because you'll miss important plot hints in the future. I'm developing these characters rather thoroughly for that purpose..

As far as being mysterious and not giving out any or much information - as in this chapter - there're reasons for that. One - it makes the reader more shocked when they finally read it. Two - when reading the character's thoughts/movements when information is revealed (especially regarding Kalie), the words are easier to get dug into and relate to. When you think to yourself, 'Whoa...that's nuts! How sad. I can't believe it!' So will Inaki, Sam, etc You'll relate. ^_^

The only warning I'm giving over the next 10 chapters is this is going to start the first plot. I have maybe half a dozen planned out for sure, and maybe 2 or 3 more I don't know of. Next commentary will be over secondary characters - primary being Inaki and Kalie - and their connections to the primary characters. Also a few explanations over some people you probably don't like - like Cameron Blitz. ^^; ~~~~~@


	11. Ch 11

It's amazing how much time can pass when one doesn't think about it. Given such a bland routine of getting up early, going to school till almost noon every day during the week, working till late those same days, then working on the weekends, one would think time would slow down.

Especially given the break she gave herself with only four classes instead of the crammed seven in her sophomore summer semester.

A whole month passed and August was nearly over with. Thankfully! Fall brought lower temperatures and although it was still in the low nineties, the temperatures had stayed out of the hundreds for the past week and a half.

She leaned back and gave a small stretch, dropping her pencil down in the center of her latest textbook and rubbed her eyes.

She was doing more homework in her spare time...trying to study hard to keep up and / or get ahead. Her need for good grades so far hadn't failed her and she had anything from an A-plus to a B her entire college career.

And hopefully she would have even better grades now that she had weekends free.

That had been a relaxation decision on her part. With two jobs and seven classes in the summer, there was barely enough time to study, even given the many hours of free time outside her big responsibilities. It was just a good thing summer classes were short and some easier than others, otherwise she would've never made it and had to drop one or two to be taken now.

Her eyes jumped to the clock, finding it four. Hands rubbed her eyes again, this time in surprised skepticism. Had she already spent two whole hours doing Calculus homework??

Dark green strayed back to the paper and the one covered with experimental answers to find the correct one. Course...given the fact she was working on MATH, those two hours were pretty long. She sighed and held up the scribble sheet. It was practically full of wrong answers and equations. Even with a high tech calculator, she still had to work a problem out on paper to understand it.

Her nose wrinkled. 'I am never going to understand math...of ANY degree.'

She set the paper down. Well not completely true, she understood pre-Algebra and Algebra at least...and Geometry to a fair degree. The rest just didn't stick all too well.

She decided right then and there to stop for the day. This was time to relax and let her mind settle down. Having worked on both Western Civ and Calc homework, she was ready to leave it. It was only four...that meant she had at least six to seven hours of free time to kill.

She stopped the turn in her chair at that thought. Six to seven HOURS?? "Wow..." She breathed, eyes wide. Never had she had so much time since...her spring semester possibly? Perhaps last fall? "I think...I might actually be BORED tonight!" A giggle hit the quiet. Her and bored didn't go together. She was always doing something it seemed.

So what to do? Unlike her, Sam decided on weekend classes, and she would be out till five at least. That gave an entire hour by herself in this big empty, rented house. But she was inside all day, and although the days were still hot, she wanted to be out in it. The urge to be in nature was hitting her, so she decided to go and do something she also hadn't the pleasure of doing for quite some time.

After changing into suitable clothes for the temperature, she scribbled a note and hung it on the fridge because it would take a while to get there and headed out the back door. After unchaining her bike and putting it in the special pouch on her handlebars, she led it to the sidewalk.

It was time to go scout for shells and build up her tiny collection.

~*~*~

It took over half an hour to cover the two and a half miles to the ocean lining the state, but by then the size of people had dimmed for favor of going home and getting supper.

That was exactly what she wanted.

For what she could see at the bike rack on top of the concrete wall, mostly built in case the ocean rose in high tide, there were two dozen or so people sprinkled around. All the better. She ambled down the steps and trudged to the tip of the shoreline. She stopped where dry sand met wet and looked to the darkened sand.

Those precious shells HAD to be around here somewhere!

It was a favored pastime she had - collecting very pretty and rare-looking seashells. She sometimes scoured the shoreline for miles both ways, looking and digging in shallow waters and on the beach. It was a treasure hunt. It was one of the few hobbies she had besides reading, studying, Sunday movie time, cooking, and rare poetry spurts. She didn't get to come out here as much as she liked and look around, but that's what kept the excitement alive. Somewhere on this shore there was a beautiful shell ready to be cleaned and kept in her room to be admired. So far, she had a total of eight arranged around her room.

She slowly edged to the waterline, experimentally digging her toes in wet sand. She dug till it nearly covered her feet and stopped, moving a few feet away to try again. Instead of digging like a dog, and looking utterly silly, she dug with her feet. It was slow, it felt good, and she would be able to tell if she hit something as easily as she could with her hands. Not to mention time passed increasingly fast this way.

She never went in past her knees, for fear of being sucked in, but the clear water allowed her to see until her toes wriggled underneath. There was always more chance of getting a shell under water than on sand, as kids and adults often took them home like she did.

The sun started setting by the time she got maybe half a mile away from her original spot and it was a sight to see. There were few clouds in the sky and the sun turned them a brilliant, bright pink despite the sunset's colors. The beauty of it - and the reflections on the water - forced her to pause and admire it until she shook herself and continued on.

She was glad to know that maybe everyone was gone from sight. The beach was practically empty. Good. She liked being alone and doing this. Not that it looked silly...but this was a private thing. Not even Sammy came with her on these excursions. These were serene, soul clearing times for her.

She didn't have to worry about thinking of her life in Westchester or the beginning years here. If she did, it didn't bother her as much. Nature had a way of calming her mind and making her feel at peace. Her relationship problems and other doubts in life never got under her skin here. Out here, she was untouchable.

With that in mind, she always wished to come and do this more often. But doing it infrequently was what made it special and the lapse in time often allowed for more shells to come in with the tide. Not to mention that frequent arrivals would soon render her immune to the effects and she would need another outlet. So the time was just right. It was like visiting an old friend.

She stilled in ankle-deep water and stared at the sun almost level with her gaze. It shone deep magenta, the immediate sky around a bright yellow leading to darker colors farther away from it. Her head bent straight back to stare at the navy blue/purple. The stars would be out soon and then she would not be able to see anymore to hunt.

Another treasure-less search. But not wasted...NEVER wasted.

A soft smile appeared as she slowly sat down, forgetting her hunt for a while, and watched the sun set. The sound of the ocean crashing around her - wetting her feet - hit her ears. Other than a very gentle breeze, the rest was silence. For being the solitary human there, she didn't feel one ounce of solitude. Far from it. Her mind was blank except for pleasant thoughts, and her heart was full of tranquility.

She was happy.

Her smile eased another notch as her chin rested on knees. Rarely could she really say that. She found happiness in some things in life, through family and friends and everyday things, but it didn't come to HER. These few times were the one thing that made her really happy. Nature and her books.

Deep green drifted down and blinked in pleasant surprise. A childlike smile appeared as her arms disengaged from her legs and she leaned forward.

There was something barely sticking out of the water, catching the waves as they road in.

Gently, she extracted the item from the sand and turned it around to examine it with the dying sun. It was half an oyster shell, part of the creature still attached. Her nose wrinkled as a small shudder went through her. Poor thing...but did she really want to touch it??

She dipped it in the tide to clean out some of the sand and found the mollusk wasn't attached very well. What was underneath its slimy hide was an iridescent glow of color.

A grin lit her face. Success! Now to clean it off and she'd have another beauty to display!

She looked around and found a small piece of driftwood sticking out of the sand a little distance away. She headed toward it and pulled it from the ground, using it to carefully chip away the mollusk. After that, she rinsed the finished product again to fully cleanse it and admired her work. Not bad... She turned toward the sun and moved the shell around, watching as the reddish light hit the colors and made them brighter.

It was beautiful. An intact piece of a half a shell. And as luck would have it, the colored side.

She beamed like a little kid and turned back to the sun, feeling like laughing. Today paid off! This was the first oyster shell she had to add to her collection. "Score! Go me!" She muttered, laughing at herself. The search finished, content with a single piece, she headed back the way she came for her bike.

~*~*~

_Inaki,_

_I had a pretty good day today. I'm smiling as I'm writing this, not just because I get to write you back, but because I'm rather content right now. I had work today and spent a few hours studying while Sam went off to classes. As you know, I didn't take any weekend classes this semester, but she took one for the weekend._

_Anyway - I spent two hours doing Calc and more Western Civ homework and stopped around four. Knowing Sammy didn't get back till around five, I decided to go pursue a hobby I don't get the pleasure of doing that often. What is it you ask? Even if you didn't, you'll get to know anyway._

_I collect seashells. Not just any either...I search the beach - not always successful - for pretty or oddly shaped ones. It's fun and I highly recommend it, though you better not be coming all the way down here and stealing any of mine!_

_I spent almost all of the sunset looking and ended up with the iridescent side of an oyster shell. Score for me! It's the first one I have and right now it's sitting on my desk so I can look at it. After a while, as shells don't get to sit on my desk with my schoolbooks, it'll go somewhere safer. So far, that makes nine total. I've been doing this for nearly two years now and I go to the beach maybe once every month or every other. I've actually got a pretty good number given the fact that the beach is always crowded and I miss the shells anyone else picks up and takes home._

_I just finished making me and Sammy dinner and decided to write you before I went to bed. I'll get the letter out Sunday and hopefully you'll get it before half the week is over._

_So how's your life going? Any changes since your letter a week ago? Everyone you know still the same? I think one of these times I'll probably have to PROPERLY meet your friends so the circumstances of last time are erased. Don't ask._

_So, you made any use out of my birthday present for you yet? I'm sorry you didn't get it in time. That's my fault. Like I said, I was debating on whether or not to get you anything. But after you telling me your like of alternative music and your guitar playing, I thought those musical pieces would suit you. I hope you like them, though they are some of the bands you mentioned to me. Personally, you know I'm more into techno...but whatever, you know?_

_You'll have to play for me sometime. I'd like to hear how good you are. And also...do you think you have any extra pictures of your family that I could see? I've got physical descriptions and names, but I'd like to see for myself. If you don't mind... For a trade, I can send one of me and my mom, and one of me and Sammy._

_Well I suppose I should cut this off. It's short yea, but it's getting late and I've got work tomorrow. I think I'll get a little extra sleep for once. If you don't want to give away any of your family pictures, that's fine, I won't be hurt. Just ask if you want one of my family and I'll search for one. I've got plenty._

_Talk to you later,_

_K_

_August 30, 2097_

_P-S-I hope you don't see me dating these as a bad thing. I've seen you do it and I thank you for that. I like to keep a record to go back on when I get time and reread your letters for fun. So no thinking I'm weird or anything!_

She smiled and dug in her desk for an envelope and the stash of stamps. Before, stamps were always kept in a drawer in the kitchen for paying bills. But now she always kept a supply in her drawer strictly for these letters. It was worth the money.

After sealing the envelope and pressing it to make sure the glue stuck, she gave it an absent tap on the edge of the desk before setting it in a place to remember to take with to work to mail. One of the perks was she was able to mail outgoing things with everything else and no one cared. Ah the benefits of a hotel job...

Stifling a yawn, she found the time nearly nine and decided to turn in. It was early, but she had to be up early. Normally she only stayed up for another hour anyway, and she DID say she wanted that extra sleep. After changing into her pajamas and telling Sam she was turning in, she flopped on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Her ears picked up Sam's puttering around downstairs as her mind hummed.

During one of the past letters, she finally gave in and told him the only family she had was her mother. That was a stupid blunder on her part, brought on by making mention of how lucky he was to have such a tight-knit and massive family living with him.

She gave a small cringe in the dark. She couldn't deny the fact that she didn't want to lie to him in answering his question. He would make one of the few friends she had and she didn't like lying to her friends unless she had a reason. Half the time it was stupid, albeit to protect herself, but it was always a reason.

Her eyes closed after a pause in thought. She missed her mother a little bit. Even though Labor Day was on Monday, that still didn't change the fact that she had to work. At least she got holiday pay.

She flipped to her stomach and stared at the far wall, mentally recounting where her photo albums were packed away. There were a few plastic tubs under her daybed, but there was also her entire room to check and the storage closet across the small hallway. She didn't have as many as she betted Inaki would, but she had one full album of past memories and present. Her mother was an important person, even if that dimmed with her being an adult and so independent. She relied more on herself and saw her mother more as a companion than mother.

She frowned and closed her eyes. Still...it was true. But that frame of mind was partly responsible for the past five years. It was a sad thing that it tainted the image of her mother, but being away and missing her sometimes helped keep the bond there.

She sighed and turned her head to the other wall. Those damn emotions...and damn the actions for bringing them about. Sure she wasn't THE most happiest or contented kid in the world, but she was so much better before they came along. They tainted her once good view of the world.

Deep green popped open, loathing shining in the darkness. No...that wasn't right. Brad and Arthur weren't the one who started tainting her view of the world. It was that man...that man she refused to recognize as father. To her, he didn't exist and she'd rather keep it that way. Her gaze hardened as anger filled her, making her nose burn with the start of tears. Tears at the unfairness of it all.

She would never forgive Marcus for screwing it all up. 'He ruined everything...' She hissed, pressing her face into the pillow. Her eyes squeezed shut as liquid passed through, marking tiny stains on fabric.

Hadn't she loved him when she was a child? Where did he go wrong with her mother? Why didn't he love her mother?? Why didn't he love her mother as she did when they were still whole? Now he lived far in the north...and he hadn't contacted her since a final birthday card when she was sixteen.

Spite curled her mouth to a sneer. Did he ever love her? Was she just a nuisance? Was she part of the reason he left? Was he even alive today? Did he remarry? Did she now have step-siblings somewhere else in Florida?

She didn't know, but she didn't WANT to know! She HATED him! He ruined it all...ALL of it! She had a LIFE before he screwed it up!

A shuddering breath went through her as she sat up and tried to calm down. Heels went to her eyes. No...no good. She wanted this extra time to fall asleep, not dwell on her screwed-up life! This wouldn't do at all! She couldn't think these thoughts or they'd make her go crazy. She had to keep them hidden, locked away with the rest of the emotions she didn't want to feel, if she was to survive. She had to keep them hidden if she was going to act like the person everyone THOUGHT she was.

Hands dropped like lead weights to her lap and she dully stared at them. Silence in the room weighed over her ears, broken by soft breathing. She forcefully blanked her mind of any thought except the need to sleep.

Her eyes drifted closed as she remained sitting up. Sleep...she needed to sleep. Use the drained sensation she suddenly had to help her. Let it pull her to the blissful peace of slumber...

She inhaled a deep breath and exhaled slowly, forcing all the bad out with it. She shoved it all away with that technique, as she often did before. No one knew what she did with that except herself. Not even Sammy or her mother knew she hid by taking that single, deep breath.

Feeling the tinge of exhaustion, she flopped back down and grabbed her pillow, cradling it in her arms. She faced the wall closest to her bed and stared at it through tired lids. After a few minutes, they closed and she was soon granted yet another way out of dealing with her life.


	12. Ch 12

_What are my interests? Specifically? Well I thought I'd already gone into some of them...but I guess I can do an old-fashioned listing and waste paper..._

_Likes: vanilla ice cream (it's my favorite), comfy clothes (due to hot weather), candles (I like the smell and the look they give), good books (like I said - I'm a bookworm), smelling nice (that's a girl thing), pop/soda, cappuccino, days off (which you know I get very little of), beautiful flowers (I'm a sucker for pink and yellow roses mostly...and I also love irises), and small dogs (especially Chihuahuas, Pomeranians, Beagles, Scottish Terriers, and probably a few more)_

_Interests: Psychology (I like thinking of how the mind works), family values, Biology (because I love nature so much), some art, nature (big time tree hugger), serious conversations, order / things being orderly (goes with me being a bookworm), and antiques (being a history buff)_

_I've got a lot more of course, but those are just some things off the top of my head. But that gives you a little better idea of who I am anyway._

_As part of my dislikes - I don't know whether you want this or not but I'll include it - I don't like loud thunder, not being able to study enough or get homework done, semester exams (NO STUDY TIME! AH!!), gory films (I don't like nightmares), candy (I try to keep my teeth healthy), loud people (I like quiet - it's what I'm used to), and smoking (NASTY)._

_So what do you like and dislike? I don't need a book, just a few things. I thought I told you something already, but I guess not. Was there a reason you asked for a specific list of what I liked a lot of? Other than to get to know me of course..._

Why did he want a specific list? Well he wasn't going to tell HER that.

She was right in saying he didn't need her dislikes. That wasn't what he needed. He just needed a few things what she was interested in, and it was nice to know she liked a lot of things that other girls did. He was beginning to put her as separate from 'all those other girls'. Not like that was a BAD thing, but he'd never really met anyone like her before. She was rather indifferent to a lot of things that he figured would piss a girl off or she wouldn't like.

No...what he needed that list for was coming up in a week and his sneakiness would hopefully pay off.

And he would be able to be even sneakier if she responded like he wanted to in his next letter and not connect the pieces of both before next Monday rolled around. He hoped she wasn't doing anything major or - gods forbid - WORKING during her birthday. Or if she was, if she would at least take some time out to celebrate being twenty. Though if it planned out right, this would work no matter WHERE she was or what she was doing.

Vanilla ice cream, comfy clothes, smelling nice, pop/soda, cappuccino, days off, and small dogs he couldn't do a thing with.

But the candles, good books, nature, and beautiful flowers were perfect to work with and pick through.

_I'm a sucker for pink and yellow roses mostly...and I also love irises._

He grinned. This would be cake. If she liked such simple things - things he had a history of buying for girls he dated in the past - the only thing he had to worry about was the second part of his plan.

He folded the letter and stuck it in the envelope to keep it safe in his back pocket. A hand dug in his other and grabbed his wallet. He fiddled with the chain helping him from losing it and flipped it open, pulling out what money he had. After a brief count, he found he would need an extra ten or fifteen to pull of what he wanted to buy. No big deal.

"Oi obaasan...I'm going to need to borrow some money!" He called, heading up from the back storage room.

As soon as his head was in view of the front counter, he met aged eyes. "How much do you need?"

"Do you think you could loan me a twenty?"

"When did you come in?"

He blinked and nibbled his lip in thought. "Ano...I think I've been here four hours already...does that cover it?"

His grandmother bent down below the cash register she was standing post at and picked up a worn notebook. The one he marked his hours down on. He was the only one who ever used that notebook, and it held every minute and transaction he worked off of at least this year.

After a second, wise eyes stopped skimming. "You'll have to be here for another two and half hours to work it off." She murmured. "You're still working off this month's magazine subscription and those snacks you grabbed for break."

He snorted in amusement. "That won't take long. What else do you want me to do around here?" His arms threw out to the side, stretching the muscles, before hands lazily folded against the back of his head. He patiently waited while his grandmother put the notebook back and thought. He knew his grandfather and great grandparents were loitering around here someplace, and it was still too early for Jayden to come in. She didn't even need to be in unless she was going to work the register and his mother wasn't coming in today.

He, his father, and grandfather had a lot cleaned, stocked, and priced so far.

"How far are you on cleaning the back room?"

His lips pursed. "I'm almost finished sweeping the dust outside, then I'll start on giving it a good mopping for the week. Anything else you want?" Rarely did he take orders like this unless it was at work. Here he knew where to draw the line between job and taking shit from people. Even then, the only people he would do things for without question like that was his family.

"Did you clean the shelves for the week? And unpack the latest shipment to get that marked?"

"Otousan started on some of the shipment a while ago. He got halfway done in the back until I started sweeping and left the rest till I was done. I think he went home for lunch though. I haven't seen him since."

Graying brows furrowed. "Where's your ojiisan?"

He smirked. "I think he's upstairs in the main office with his fubo."

Mamorah sighed and resisted the urge to scowl. "One would think **I **was the next owner of the store, not that bum. He shouldn't be sitting up there with those two unless he's on break. Doesn't he know he's costing the store...especially if he doesn't mark it down??"

He fought a smirk. His obaasan - the business shark. "Would you like me to go fetch him obaasan?" He muttered, trying not to grin at her behavior.

"Iie...I think if you finish mopping the back room and then go clean what shelves aren't done for this week's shipment...that should give you those two-plus hours. When your otousan comes back, he can stock the shelves. I'll give that jijii a little more time before I go get him."

He grinned at the old woman before giving a playful salute and heading back to finish his work. Those few cleaning jobs would take him the rest of the time, especially all the shelves in the place. Every Monday, all shelves got a thorough cleaning to keep germs and dust away. Then the floor was swept and mopped when needed to finish keeping the store clean.

It was a routine he did every morning, at least in the back room. Normally, he cleaned the back room and sometimes unpacked and labeled goods Jayden and okaasan didn't, also cleaning the shelves and front floors when they didn't.

The place wasn't really that big, given the amount of things inside. The front - when totally void of anything - was about the same size as the back room, if not a little smaller as the back needed to be bigger for storage. Two sets of stairs to both back and front rooms made transportation a lot easier on the eldest generation. Over all of the ground floor, there was the top half, which was used as office and office storage.

He was pretty sure if he looked - though he would never dare - through the filing cabinets at monthly store earnings, he could find records dating as far back as 2056 when the place first opened. His great grandparents were rather good at keeping and storing files for possible need in the future.

Quickly sweeping the dirt pile outside through the garage opening, he then went for the mop and dunked it in a large pail. He left the delivery door open for the air - as it got quite hot inside at times - and started at the open door.

The more he mopped, the more he almost felt like a different person. Not totally different...just more resolved. Responsible. Doing such mundane chores like this, and so agreeably, wasn't like the sarcastic, independent person he was. He made it seem like he didn't take anything from anybody and if he did, it wasn't without great reluctance.

True, there WAS that part of his mind. He assumed everyone had something like that... And he balanced it with this reliable part he showed whilst in the store.

If his friends came in, which they never did, he knew they wouldn't even recognize his behavior. He smirked and dunked the mop again, rinsing it out. One more dance around the floor and he'd be done for the week.

His thoughts turned to the plan he briefly pushed aside and went over a few options. It was rather simple, the things he intended on buying. Without a doubt, he knew she'd like them. Though they'd only known each other maybe...what, a solid month, he had a feeling of her through her words.

Kalie Himmen was starting to become known to him.

There wasn't really a problem with that, given it was through words. He met the person and now he was meeting the personality. He didn't know which one he liked better.

He did as requested and sent a full family picture in his last letter, taken only a year ago upon his mother's wish. He also asked for a few of her, as she suggested, wanting to have that small insight. And also something to jog the fading mental image of her.

Just as he finished rinsing out the mop, a thought struck. It was so ingenious he was amazed he hadn't thought of it and integrated it into his plan before now. He smiled and took a second to lean on the mop, pondering this new idea.

'Well...she DID say she wanted to hear me play...she never asked about my singing.' His nose wrinkled in good humor as he grabbed the pail's handle and went to the opening in the wall. 'Sheesh, she's going to get more presents in one birthday than any girl I've ever bought for!' He gave a chuckle and heaved the dirty water out back, leaving the door open for the light and breeze.

That wasn't a bad thing...it was just a lot of little things rolled into one big present. It would also be a thank you for getting those lyrics booklets too. As he went for the cleaning supplies for the front, he counted it all. Himself, his guitar, a happy birthday song, the flowers she mentioned, nature, and a small candle gift wrap.

As he opened the door, the air conditioning hit him full in the face and he took a second to enjoy it, as opposed to the humidity and heat of the back room.

'She'd better ENJOY all this, damn it!' He mused, looping a few rags through the belt loops. Twirling the solution with his finger as if it were a gun, he strode to one side to get to work.

~*~*~

Even though everything was set and he had all the money he needed, he had to know for sure that the second part of his plan would be able to go off. Otherwise he would have to change what he bought her.

He absently cracked a few knuckles before grabbing the pen in his teeth.

_Hey K,_

_Thanks for the suggestions. Yea that gives me a pretty good idea, but I have to admit, that's pretty girly. You didn't strike me as one who got offended by a lot or liked a lot of ultra-feminine stuff, you know? So...don't go getting offended by THAT or anything...I'm just saying._

_I'll respond in kind and be fair with a few things I like and dislike._

_Likes/Interests: L-Guitar, I-Skateboarding, L-Dancing, I-Martial arts, L-Family, I-New people, L-Rainstorms, I-Animals, L-Annoying older sister at times, I-Helping family business, L-Spicy food, I-Nature, L-Swimming, I-Climbing trees, L-Old oriental outfits._

_Explanations: My guitar is my life. I love playing it, and yes I HAVE played some of those pieces you gave me._

_As you know I like skateboarding and I use my board to get me to places I want to go. And although I said Andytown is teeny tiny, there is no gravel road here._

_I like dancing, mostly to burn off energy and have fun, and I'm at least relieved we have a dance club here. It's small, but it's better than nothing._

_My martial arts are kinda a hobby of mine and I've been at it for ten years and counting. The exercising bit kinda ties in with my Kempo (martial arts)._

_I like being with my family, even though I do enjoy annoying Jayden till she screams. Just family love... Ah, sibling rivalry..._

_And of course I like new people..._

_Ah, rainstorms...I even like loud thunder. I can't believe you don't! And you call yourself a nature lover... Kidding. I love rainstorms though; it's just the feel of the rain hitting and the coolness of it despite the hot air. Then there's lightening and how awesome it makes everything look in the dark._

_You and I have a common interest in animals and nature and that's cool. I'm a big nature buff as well, always have been._

_I already made mention of the business in other letters._

_The spicy food bit has to deal with my background. I LOVE spicy food!_

_Swimming is good way to beat the heat, but we don't have a pool on our property, so I normally go when I work off the money._

_Climbing trees has to deal with my nature fling, but I've always been told by my mother I'm a little monkey and she has no clue where I got so good at that._

_The oriental outfits have to deal with my heritage. I've got this cool red get-up with a white under kimono I wear, but only on holidays or something important. It's folded right now, but I've gotta show it to you...being a history buff, I think you'd like it. It was a present I got from the family off a pattern they saw in some old era-I forget which one._

_Dislikes: Obstinate people, violence, Japanese symbols, early mornings, thinking of the future, relatives in pain, tight clothes, pushy Christians / Catholics, being single, being ordered around, short hair, pop music, prejudice, old gas vehicles._

_I can't say I hate obstinate people because I know I can be bad at times, but those who just don't have open minds and won't give I don't have a high tolerance for._

_I don't like domestic violence whatsoever. I can't stand to hear one of my friends or someone I know got into a fight, especially over something stupid. I just don't like fighting._

_Japanese symbols - either hiragana, katagana, or the plain kanji - I can't read. I'm trying, but it's not going very well. It's almost like trying to learn sign language. My grandparents and great grandparents help from time to time, but otherwise I'm learning on my own and it doesn't help._

_Early mornings...HISS! HISS, HISS, HISS!_

_I also like baggy clothes like you for the same reason...and also a guy reason. I...uh, think you know what that's for. Especially shorts._

_Ah, Christians and Catholics. I hope I didn't offend you with that. Cam's a Christian, so it's not like I HATE them or anything...I just can't stand those who try to convert me. I'm Japanese, hence I'm Buddhist. Sure I've read a little bit about the bible, but I like my religion better._

_Ah...being single. I don't know why it is, but I just can't stand being without someone special. I've been that way since I was a teenager and I've never known why._

_Unless I'm working, only my family gets to order me around. Or, unless I'm doing it for someone else, I don't like taking orders like a dog. Especially by people who can do just as easily themselves._

_The short hair thing is kinda hypocritical isn't it? The only reason I have such short hair is I lost a bet - which I am NOT going into - with my friends and had to cut off what I used to have. It's all black now as you saw, and the same length it was when there was white mixed in. I think by the end of the year, it'll be down to the ends of my shoulder blades and I can start braiding it again. (My first - and only - braid is still braided and tied at both ends to keep it that way...and locked away in my mother's oak chest. She told me it's a parent thing.) My hair grows rather fast and I like that. It's kind of sad isn't it? I take very good care of my hair and I like it long. It's partially an ethnical thing, partially cause it just looks good on me._

_Pop music can go to one of the seven hells for all I care. Cam listens to it and I. HATE. IT! But I put up with it...as only a doting boyfriend would. ...Can I gag now?!_

_Prejudice is a no-duh for me. I'm Japanese and I don't tolerate ANY of those stupid words for 'my kind'. If I hear it, I WILL get in someone's face._

_The vehicles thing goes back to nature . I'm SO glad they got rid of petroleum and went to solar power. Sheesh, it took the morons long enough to do it. And how clean did it make everything afterwards?? People of the past were rather stupid, don't you think??_

_Before I end this, as I think my list and explanations make this a LOT longer than it should've been, I was just wondering what you were doing for your birthday. That's coming up isn't it? You mentioned it was in September. Is the little bookworm going to buckle down and study / work right through it? Or is there a party animal who likes to go out and live it up when you advance another year?_

_I know you're busy and all...but do you think you could reply before the week's out? Preferably a.s.a.p. and before the Monday you become almost a legal adult. Who knows...maybe I'll stop down and bring the Champaign with me._

_Inaki_

_September 8, 2097_

He put the pen down and flexed his hand. This was probably one of his longer letters, and it didn't contain that much! Wanting to get it off a.s.a.p. himself, a hand dug around for a stamp and envelope.

He smirked. He was such a diabolical genius sometimes. He made that last paragraph sound as if he hardly remembered her birthday, when in reality, there was an ink circle around the number on the calendar over the desk.

Even if he WASN'T going to buy her anything, he would still send down an extra letter or something to say happy birthday or whatever, in recognition of her special day. Even if she studied or worked it, he knew where she'd be both times. That Champaign remark was a joke. He wasn't going to bring alcohol to someone who he didn't know drank or not, not to mention was still underage. But he WAS intending a trip down there...with a few goodies of his own.

Hurriedly, he folded the latest and stuffed it in an envelope, grabbing his board for a quick skate to the post office.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Ojiisan-Grandfather Oya-(both) Parents Jijii-Old man **(Impolite version)**

Hiragana/Katagana/Kanji-Three different types of Japanese writing


	13. Ch 13

"If you want to celebrate in style...I CAN go buy us some alcohol or Champaign."

"No point...I have work in a few hours."

"Humph...you're no fun. Come ON, it's a new decade! LIVE a little!"

She smiled and shook her head, denying Sam again. "I haven't touched a drop yet and I'll wait till I'm legal to see what the big deal is."

"...You're such a square."

She laughed. She couldn't help it. The frustrated, shocked look on Sam's face was too much to try and get angry at for that comment. She leaned back in the chair she was always in and stared at light blue upside-down. "It's not like it's THAT big a deal. I'm only twenty. When I turn twenty-one, MAYBE I'll think about partying it up." She leaned back with a small frown. "If I'm not as busy then as I am now..."

"I HEARD that chica..."

A finger suddenly poked her right between the shoulder blades and she yelped in pain and whirled around. "That HURT. What was that for??"

Sam heaved a sigh and plopped on her daybed. "You're no FUN!" Hands waved about that blonde head. "If it was ME turning twenty, I would at least go out to dinner! Or at the VERY least...spoil myself and take VACATION!"

She gave her best friend a bored look. "I can't afford to take time off just for my birthday and you KNOW it. Not to mention we can't really afford to eat out anywhere fancy. There's -"

"Bills. Yes I KNOW." Sam flopped on her back with a grunt and stared at the ceiling. "You're worse than my MOTHER. Not even SHE'S this responsible."

She tried to hide a smirk and went back to her Anthropology homework. She tapped the pencil on a page and blankly stared at it. Sam's legs could be heard softly banging against the frame in the quiet. She knew Sammy wouldn't let her alone for this. Sure she knew this wasn't any other day, but what CHOICE did she have? She couldn't afford to skip homework OR work. There were too many responsibilities to let herself fall behind in any way. If only it fell on a Sunday instead of a Monday, MAYBE she would've relented.

That was...if she didn't do homework on the weekends...

She fought a sigh. Sam's whining about her being loose and carefree was starting to affect her. If she didn't buckle down, she wasn't going to get this done in time to get lunch made before Sammy headed off to work. It was only a little after noon, she had enough time to finish this and get downstairs.

Any other arguments thankfully died and she got back to it. This worksheet was cake and when she finished, maybe she'd give in a little bit and let Sam take her out to their normal sub place. She smirked.

Extremely soft pencil scratching, followed occasionally by an eraser, filled the air as Sam continued to stare at the ceiling. A comfortable atmosphere washed away the remaining amounts of frustration. She knew K wouldn't give in when she was right in the middle of homework. It was worth a try though.

A tiny smile appeared as Sam gradually turned and watched her friend's back. K needed to do anything to celebrate! Even if they just watched a movie or went and downed a quart of French vanilla ice cream together. She wanted to find SOME way to give K her birthday present...

She hoped K would like it. Well...of COURSE K would her present! Not only was K too nice to say no, they weren't best friends and roomies for NOTHING.

A quiet thump jolted Sam to the outside world and she jumped.

"All finished." Sitting up, light blue met dark green. "So...if you insist on me celebrating my birthday...why don't you take me down to our usual spot?" Green twinkled.

It didn't take long for the meaning to get through and Sam smiled. With a hop off the bed, she headed for the door. "Works for me. Anything to get you out of here for a treat! But since it IS your birthday...let's dress up!" Light blue sparkled as Sam turned and leaned on the door.

Her eyes closed as if in pain. Why did Sam have to bring up that? What was the point in dressing up when all they were going to do was go to lunch for an hour max and get all sweaty with the heat?? Sure the temperatures were in the low eighties anymore, but she rarely dressed up.

"Come on! Live a little. I mean, my god...you NEVER do anything for yourself to deck out!"

"I don't 'deck out', as you so eloquently put it, because I have no need to. I go to school and work; that leaves little time for me to dress fancy or paint my face."

Chubby, indignant hands went on Sam's hips. "Well today you ARE." Sam's eyes turned mildly pleading as she gave a puppy dog look. "Come ON...just for a little while? Do it for me - no wait, do it for YOURSELF. You'll feel much better, I know you will. I'm not saying you have to go full makeup and clothes, but just wear a dress this once!" Those eyes turned even more limpid. "¿Por favor?"

Sam could be very persuasive when she wanted to be. And she had to admit...a little of her DID wanna dress up after so long. "Fine. A dress, and...maybe a little eye makeup. But I'm NOT doing much with my hair!" She protested, wagging a finger.

Sam's hands went up in defense. "Hey, I didn't say a word." With a giggle, the elder whipped around and threw the door open. "Give me fifteen - no twenty - minutes and we'll be out of here. That enough for you?"

"Yup."

The door closed without another word and she went to her closet and threw it open. An arm pushed all tank tops, short-sleeve shirts, and few long-sleeve shirts out of the way to get at the back of her closet. Where she had the small amount of dresses stashed. She only owned four, but there was one that she was mildly interested in wearing. Even in the past, she never dressed up unless persuaded or it was a holiday of some type. She was a tomboy...she admitted it.

After stripping of boxer and tank top wear - what she wore more than anything around the house - she quickly donned the cinnamon-colored dress and smoothed it out. Polyester was not the right type to wear in eighty temperature weather, but this complimented her hair nicely. It picked up the lighter brown colors in the dark mass and blended. Not to mention it had tank top straps and a slit up to one thigh for aeration.

Moving across the floor, she went to the dresser and pulled a brush and hair tie off, putting part of her hair up in a small ponytail and leaving the rest down around her neck. That done, she grabbed the small plastic container holding the extremely small amount of makeup and grabbed eye liner and eye shadow. She knew makeup, she wasn't THAT alienated from it, but she was a simple person. Not to mention this would come off when they got back.

With a finger, she ran gold-like color over her lids and finished with a black line over the top of her lashes. Wiping her hands clean and putting everything back, she took a quick look in the mirror and allowed herself a smile. She was actually...pretty like this...

Experimentally, she fluttered her lashes and that smile widened. For a second, she wondered if she SHOULD do something else with her hair...

A knock sounded and she whipped around. Every girlish thought that previously went through her head went out the window as she headed to the door. "I'm ready." She announced, throwing it open. Green widened. "You...are a LOT more decked out...than I will EVER be." She mumbled, staring in a shock and awe at Sam's transformation.

One would think it was Sam's birthday by the way the girl was dressed. A skirt going barely to her knees; a pretty tank top and button-up shirt mix; and eye makeup that put hers to shame. She looked to her feet, feeling a little comely. Sam always managed to look better than her when they dressed up. Not only did Sam dress up more for the fun of it, the girl was way more feminine in aspects of the female mind than she would EVER be.

Sam flashed a clear, lip-glossed smile. "Maybe...but you still look pretty." A silver lid closed in a wink, getting a blush from the birthday girl.

She sheepishly grinned and followed Sam to the stairs. "Thanks..." She silently grabbed a pair of black sandals and slid into them as Sam went for the keys. "So what's our time limit anyway?"

Light blue went to the clock in the living room. "It's not one yet. We have at least two or three hours before I need to be back to change and get to work."

She nodded and went for the doorknob. Just as she swung it open, she received the largest shock of her life. A quiet shriek escaped as a hand went to her heart as if to keep it from escaping her rib cage in fright.

The hand posed to knock almost awkwardly dropped. "Ah...sorry! That wasn't how I intended on this to start. Uh - happy birthday?"

"HEY! Haven't seen you forever! How'd you get our address?"

As she tried to regain her normal heart rate, she speared Sam with a dry glance. Not bothering to respond when she met the girl's eyes, she turned to the doorway and held it open a little more with a gracious smile. "Come in, come in. What brings you here?"

A cocky grin rose. It took every bit to not laugh at how forgetful the girl could be at times. She was as bad as her roommate "Why I'm surprised K... You don't remember the letters I asked you to reply swiftly to a mere two weeks ago?" Dark green blinked at him and he sighed. A finger rose and tapped on her forehead. "In one letter, you remember me kidding about coming down to pay my respects?"

She could've slapped herself for her stupidity. She took in the plastic bag in one hand, and the wide strap holding a guitar against his back. Her mouth dropped, though a blush was working its way to her face. That was...so incredibly SWEET of him! "You drove all the way from Andytown...just to give me," Her eyes traveled to the bag in his hand, "a present?"

He grinned when she looked at him again. Was that so hard to comprehend? "Hey, it's a special day K. You don't turn twenty every day. Heck, you only turn twenty ONCE. You should live it up." He held up the bag for her, containing the multitude of presents. "I didn't have any paper to wrap this in, so I made do with what I could. But I hope you like them."

Her brows quirked. Them??

Hands dumbly rose to accept the bag, pulling the handles aside to stare inside. More white stared back at her and she only blinked back. She was finding this a little hard to penetrate her head right now.

There was an almost uncomfortable silence until Sam broke it. "So! You drove all the way from wherever you live in the mainland? How far away IS that anyway?" The girl strode over and congenially wrapped an arm around his.

He looked to the girl, taking in her attire. It was a shock to see K so dressed up...but he had to admit, she looked nice. As did Sam. "Forty miles or so. I don't know exactly with inside city limits. It wasn't like it's a long way here. I didn't want to worry about my presents getting broken. So...here I am." Dark brown twinkled.

Sam sighed. If K didn't start appreciating this boy for what he was worth, she WAS going to have to punish her!

Another smile popped up as Sam eyed the dumbstruck girl and nudged her. "So...do you have anything to say to someone who drove forty plus miles just to give you a present?"

"Actually I've got more than one...and I also drove down because I was going to give one that couldn't really be mailed."

She looked up and innocently met his eyes, blinking again. This was too much - she NEVER expected a single guy to be so thoughtful and sweet! And it didn't seem like there was anything attached to it at all! No hidden agenda or whatever.

With a smile, he disengaged his arm from Sam's and pulled an acoustic guitar from his back. His eyes shot from hers to his fingers as they positioned on the neck and found the right chords. "You said in a letter you wanted to hear me play...but I also sing too." He looked to Sam. "Would you care to join in?"

With an almost wicked grin, Sam nodded and leaned against the wall, giving the boy some arm room. For a split second, Samantha pondered singing purposely off-key, but wanted to hear how Inaki sang.

"Happy birthday to you...Happy birthday to you...Happy birthday Kalie Himmen...Happy twentieth birthday to you..."

"And many more!" Sam chirped, breaking into giggles.

She stared at Inaki as he strapped the guitar around him again and bit her lip. She blinked back tears and fought a blush at all this attention. It was just a birthday... Green went to the bag in her hands, and she stared into it again. A wide smile appeared as she looked back up, meeting those beautiful eyes. "Thank you..." Her mouth closed and opened a few times before she gave into the urge to compliment him. "You have a nice voice."

He looked away with a sheepish grin and fumbled with the strap over his chest. "Yea well...I try." He cracked, leaning against the wall.

"Well don't just STAND there! Open what Inaki brought you - I'm dying of curiosity!" Sam blurted out, hovering over the bag.

Her eyes rolled good-naturedly, but she waved the pair into the kitchen...making a mental note to show Inaki around for the first time later.

The bag set down with a quiet clunk, getting raised brows in confusion and curiosity. Plastic crinkling, she grabbed the first clunky object and was warned to be careful with it. Her wonder increased, though she was twice as gentle as she untied and unwrapped the bags. Finally a hand closed around something fuzzy and soft. Deep green shot open in surprise at finding a white Pomeranian puppy with a single pink and yellow rose - along with an iris - carefully tied together to the stuffed animal. Teeth bit her lip so tightly she thought she was going to draw blood.

'Don't cry - you'll ruin your makeup! Don't cry - you'll ruin your makeup!'

She blinked so quickly, it was like standing near a strobe light. She stared in silence at the dog for what seemed eternity before gently plucking the flowers from it and holding the adorable thing to her chest. "Thank you...so much." She whispered, sending a watery smile.

Her reaction touched him. It was DEFINITELY worth it to drive the distance to see her face. He smiled in return. "There's still one more thing you have to open." He softly answered.

She carefully set the flowers down and reached a hand in the bag. The adorable animal remained plastered against her chest. Where the dress didn't cover, she could feel the soft fur of the dog and it only encouraged her to hug it even tighter.

The mystery of the clunk was revealed when she finally unwrapped a three-piece candle set. Her eyes lit up in happiness as she brought one to her nose and sniffed. It smelled like vanilla...

Another wide smile went his way. This man...she never knew thoughtful men like him EXISTED! "Charmer." She muttered, hiding a smile behind the Pomeranian.

He chuckled and grinned. "Bred and raised." He cracked, leaning against a dining chair.

During the whole exchange, Sam watched in silence. Now staring at the presents and Inaki, she was suddenly next to her best friend with a tight grip on her arm.

"Sam, wha-"

Sam gave the arm a good, hard shake. "And you resolved to stay friends with THIS?? Are you NUTS?!" She cried out, gesturing to Inaki and the presents.

He couldn't help but smile at the girl. "Uh - I already have a girlfriend. Sorry."

Sam met his eyes in silence, a little shocked. It wasn't THAT big a surprise that a guy like him would be taken, but it made it all more unfair in her mind. Finally, Sam released the girl as hands flailed in the air. "Fate is so CRUEL!" She melodramatically cried, griping her hair. "SO not fair..." Her face buried in her hands.

She couldn't help but smile. The girl never changed. But that was a given...as she never revealed Inaki's dating status. It wasn't that big an issue anymore, not after they resolved it and were working toward something else now. "Ahem...well then...Sammy and I were just about to head out to lunch to celebrate." A small grin popped up. "Get a good look; you won't see me this dressed up unless I've been badgered like today."

A charming grin popped up. "I see nothing wrong with what you're wearing. You look good."

A heady blush stained her face as she looked away. "Ah...thanks. What I was getting at though was...would you care to join us?" She looked back to brown. "I mean, it doesn't make sense for you to come all this way and leave so soon. Not after we get to meet face to face for the first time in months and all..."

How cute could she be when she was so shy and unsure? Probably even more so when she looked pretty with even that little bit of makeup on and a dress that brought out her figure.

He mentally slapped himself.

He gave a quick nod, fidgeting with his guitar again. "Sounds like a plan to me. I don't really have anything to do today anyway."

She grabbed the flowers to put in water and headed for the cupboards. "You don't work today?"

Just the way she said that made it feel so normal. Even standing in their house for the first time, what he was a little unsure about with new territory and all, now felt normal. He watched her get the flowers in water and felt ordinary. Like he did something like this on a routine basis.

Mentally shaking himself of the feeling, knowing it would NEVER be routine for them, he gathered the rest of her things in the bag as she set the flowers on the table to be displayed.

An almost proud smile appeared as she stared at the three simple flower. Pink and yellow roses...and a purple iris... He thought of it all. She picked up the stuffed animal and hugged it to her chest again. Never had she felt more flattered and spoiled than at this moment. That little thought only influenced her even more to bring the Pomeranian with them to lunch. "So...let's head out. Sam, you can drive."

An evil grin sprouted. "Oh **I** see...you just wanna sit in the back with Inaki..." Sam kidded, nudging her side with an elbow.

She looked at Inaki for all of one second, before she pinned a fierce glare. "Will you CUT that out?? You must be dense AND deaf if you didn't hear that he's TAKEN." With a huff, she nearly stomped past the group and for the front door.

Sam gave Inaki another evil grin when he gave her a baffled look. "I just LOVE getting a rise out of her like that!" She whispered, breaking into giggles.

**Spanish language will be translated underneath when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.****

**Translations: **¿Por favor?-Please?


	14. Ch 14

He did not regret spending four or possibly five hours in Miami with Kalie and Samantha Merth. He did not regret giving her the stuffed animal, flowers, candles, and birthday song...himself finishing the package.

But he was beginning to hate having mentioned it to the guys when they asked why he was in such a good mood, even three days later. He should've KNOWN to keep that aspect of his life from them...even that single aspect.

Especially since it got back to Cam.

There was nothing worse than her hearing he spent almost a quarter of the day with two girls, even on a friendly basis. Not to mention driving forty-some miles out of the way for no REAL reason other than to pay Kalie a visit on her birthday.

With his track record with women, and his dating time, that was a dangerous combination. Especially since he admitted to the both of them Kalie's attractiveness!

Perhaps if he denied having either gone down to Miami or that Kalie meant absolutely nothing to him - even as a friend - he wouldn't have been thrown in this situation. A situation he disliked more than anything. Arguing and fighting.

"Come on Cam...didn't I tell you a while ago to have FAITH in me?"

"You've told me that from practically the BEGINNING Yamoi Inaki...but it's hard to have faith in your boyfriend when you find he's in a city forty miles out of his way to visit a GIRL! How many times have you done this??"

You KNEW you were in trouble when they said your full name...and in his case the polite way of his heritage. Oh yea...Cameron was DEFINITELY not happy about this.

A hand went into near shoulder-length hair, a habit he had. With as many times as his hands were shoved through the ebony locks, it was amazing he hadn't gone bald yet. He absently scratched his scalp in agitation. "I just visited her this once! It was her BIRTHDAY! Are you going to tell me that I shouldn't do that for a friend?? She was happy I stopped by!"

He'd been trying to make Cam see reason for the past ten minutes, but she was simply too upset and stuck in her ways - mostly dealing her worry over his reputation - to think about the innocence of what he did. Really...he was just visiting a FRIEND.

"How come you've never TALKED about her? Huh?? Do you trust me so little that you wouldn't tell about one of your other friends? Even female?"

The sigh he tried to squash hissed past the back of his throat, making it come out almost like a growl. He knew Cameron was worried about him leaving her and was a little possessive due to that fact...but NOW she was just trying to start something.

Dark brown stared at the ceiling of a living room as he had the urge to pace the carpet. This was ridiculous! Here he was, still in a good mood from seeing Kalie after so long and catching up on a few things, and Cam arrived unannounced and wanted to know why he was seeing another girl in a different city! The NERVE!

His teeth grit as anger boiled on low. He tried to fight the irritation that made his heart pound a little faster. Releasing that and shouting at Cam or, even worse, hitting something would only scare her and then he'd feel like a complete bad guy. Not only did he want to avoid that, but keeping a cool head while she lost hers would help him get out of this stupid mess. Not to mention he didn't want to be seen as a violent person...something he WASN'T.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes to her upset and hurt visage. 'Keep a clear head... Explain your reasons to her again...'

"Look Cameron," He softly muttered, voice serious, "I hit it off badly with K in the start and apologized for being an ass to her. I suggested we write each other because she was a nice person underneath and I gave her my address without asking for hers to show my trust and let her call the shots. I've only written to her since the end of July and visited her this once. I don't intend on making it a habit because she's way south and letters are good enough." He paused and opened his eyes, turning to the girl. "Kalie is just an aspect of my life I kept from everyone because it was my own little thing, you know? I don't need to tell you and the guys EVERYTHING. It's not about trust - there's just some things I don't feel like sharing all the time. I'm sure you have a few things you keep from ME..."

There was a deathly quiet in the empty house. If this had to happen, he was thankful it occurred while his family was minding the business or out doing errands before lunch. They didn't need to hear about his and Cameron's problems anymore than what he ranted every once in a while. He stared at his girlfriend's downcast head, waiting for her to say something. Either that she understood or didn't; he at least wanted her to say ANYTHING.

Finally, he couldn't take the silence that buzzed in his ears. It was annoying and he was going to start fidgeting soon if one of them didn't break it! "Aren't you...going to...say anything?" He quietly asked. He firmly remained rooted where he was; trying to move to her would be like asking for forgiveness or trying to offer comfort when he was NOT at fault here!

When Cameron moved, it was slow...as if labored. Teeth bit her lip as eyes remained locked on the carpeting. Hands slowly rose and clasped together, stopping their assent when they met her lips in an almost thoughtful pose. She remained that way for more tense minutes before finally blinking out of her stupor. "So...then what you're saying is...you don't want to talk to me about her." She tightly whispered. Cameron's eyes slowly rose until they met his, shining with unshed tears. "How many other little aspects of your life do you 'not feel like sharing' with me? Or worse...how many other female friends do you have that you're writing to?"

He couldn't look away, even though the anger boiling under the surface turned up another degree. His fists clenched at his sides and his head dropped, allowing him to hide narrowed eyes behind thick bangs. It was the only safety he had from shielding Cameron at the moment and trying to maintain that little grip on his sanity to keep from losing it in front of her.

He NEVER wanted to have her see that.

Through tightly gritted teeth and eyes boring a hole in the floor, he tried to make his words exact so she couldn't pick them apart and twist them around again. "Cameron," He lowly muttered, trying to keep his voice even, "I am not going into this with you anymore. I've told you time and time again to have faith and trust me where our relationship is concerned... It'll be eight months soon...and how many times have we had this similar talk of trust?" Slowly, his eyes inched up until they rested on her face with painful evenness.

He was trying his damndest to not show anger. He knew she would break down and bawl and as it was, she was fighting tears. He could see them in her eyes and the way she was biting her lip. The last thing he wanted to deal with was her crying AGAIN over something like this! It seemed his side NEVER got defended and he always apologized for making her cry and they were back to square one.

"If you want me to trust you...you are going to have to ask that of YOURSELF." He continued, feeling his fists slowly tighten. "I have been nothing but faithful to you since day one, never dating other girls behind your back. But every time you see me talking with a girl, you get upset and this is the result. I asked YOU out remember? There were qualities I found in you endearing and I wouldn't be with you if I didn't WANT to." There was another deathful silence. Slowly, he turned his back to her, letting the hurtful anger reach his face.

Cameron finally let go of the death grip on her lip and took a shuddery breath. Inaki was right of course...but she always felt whenever he looked at girls - for she knew he flirted occasionally - he would find something better in them than her and leave her aside on the road. She had to admit she didn't trust him probably as much as he trusted her. His faith that she didn't go out and date other guys was definitely more than her faith that he wouldn't go out and date other girls.

Her eyes shamefully lowered in guilt. Seven months built up from his faithfulness...and her arguing with him about it. She felt so low all of a sudden...

"Inaki..." A hand rose in between them, as if to reach to touch him.

He took a deep breath, remaining exactly s he was. "Cam...I think you should head on home for today." He quietly answered, refusing the plea in her voice. He needed to release this before it exploded and he was unable to contain it. He didn't want ANYONE to see that. He tried to make his shoulders relax their tense stance and succeeded a little. He did the same to get the irritation out of his voice and soften it - but he never turned around. "Think about what I said, please. I'll call you tomorrow to see if you want to do anything this weekend."

The promise that they weren't breaking up, and that he would call her helped a bit. It kept her from feeling utterly crushed...also hope that there was still something THERE. A wobbly smile appeared as Cameron deeply inhaled to push past tears and leave without breaking down. If she was going to cry, it should be over herself. "Okay." She whispered. Afraid to break the silence, she tiptoed around him and reached the front door. She slipped on her sandals.

It was on the tip of her tongue to apologize for bringing this around, but one look at his form told her he wouldn't readily accept it. It was best if she DID leave for now. Perhaps she could make it up to him this weekend...

With a small nod of goodbye, she shut the door as silently behind her, leaving him alone to head home.

The silence descended and wrapped around him. Deep, even breathing was the only thing permeating the quiet. Time twisted and warped, making it stretch out as he stood there, fists clenched and eyes boring holes into the wall in front of him.

He REALLY wanted to hit something! The wall was so tempting... But he knew if he did that, he'd have all the females - heck the entire FAMILY - down upon him with their wrath. He abruptly turned and headed for the kitchen...to the patio doors beyond it.

In his letters to Kalie, he mentioned the land around their house was huge. He wasn't lying. The house itself was rather large, as it had to be to support so many people. Then there was the tool shed his mother owned where she kept all gardening tools. The lawn and surrounding concrete was sprinkled with plants, trees, and outside equipment. Also, there was a relatively small dojo to compliment the one he had inside when he wanted to practice outside on nice days.

It was that dojo shoji that he slowly slid open and quietly padded into on wood floors...shutting the door just as silently.

Emotionless eyes stared at the room, absently taking it in. There was a small set of weights in the corner, with a punching bag and speed bag tacked against the wall. Next to that was a set of mats for falling practice and dull weapons to practice with. The sharp ones rested against the other wall in the same holder to keep from being confused together.

Deep brown locked with the still, white canvas bag in the afternoon light. Without a word, he strode to it across the moderately-sized room, fists tightening with each step. His mind had miraculously cleared and remained blank until now. The entire fight rushed back, bringing all her accusing and hurtful words. Of how much she didn't trust him.

With an loud, angry cry, a fist whipped out like a snake and hit the bag with all his strength. The jangling of chains resounded off the room, to be added again and again as his fists struck with deadly precision...mixing in with each shout.

She hurt him every time when she accused him like that! Why didn't Cameron SEE that? Sure he could be a jerk and he had a small reputation for being a player...but he WAS faithful damn it! When he put his mind to something, or someone, he STUCK with it! Why was she being so disrespectful?!

His energy finally depleted, along with most of the anger...replaced with a hollow feeling and slightly bloody knuckles. He slumped to the floor, panting from exertion and heat. He leaned till his torso rested over his legs, as if bowing. His forehead rested against the wood in sudden exhaustion. Both hands lay nearly flat against the surface, stinging from broken skin and bruises.

It was times like these when he often wondered why he remained faithful to Cameron. It seemed all they did anymore was fight or disagree over something. In the beginning, of course it wasn't that way. She was so cute and shy when she was still getting to know him. That was one of the few things that attracted him...her shyness and a small need to get her to have a little more self-esteem in herself. Of course there were other things...

When did it go awry? Perhaps three or four months into the relationship? He had to admit, the thing that tipped it WAS his fault and he lost track of how many times he apologized to Cameron for it. Her paranoia of him leaving probably wouldn't have come so soon if she hadn't seen him reacting to a girl flirting with him at the mall. Of course, being charmer and being friendly, he flirted back...as Cameron wasn't paying attention to him for favor of some clothes in the store they were in.

He didn't think anything of it. At least until she suddenly appeared with a hurt, angry look in her teary eyes and all but ran from the store. He managed to catch up with her halfway to the main exits to the outside...only to have her start a huge fight and break into tears right in front of the local populous over his 'being a total player'.

He made it up to her obviously. And it seemed he was STILL making it up to her.

Ever since that day...she was paranoid of him being around other girls and he could tell. Their fights were increasing in number and emotion, going from teeny tiny, five minute arguments to what just occurred. This was also one of the few times he told her to leave him after a fight. He rarely lost his temper, but he couldn't help it. Regardless of her gender, Kalie WAS a friend and he wasn't going to let her be badmouthed in his presence. Defending her when she couldn't seemed like the honorable thing to do.

After a while, he regained his breath and slowly sat up on the floor. He was tired. Tired from hitting the bag so many times - as his hands showed; tired of going into it with Cameron like they did and sending a knife through his chest with each fight; and tired of trying to find reasons for them to still be together.

His body gingerly slid across the floor to the wall to lean against it. His knuckles rose to be inspected and found they weren't as bad as pain insinuated. There was blood dotting the skin and it was all red from abuse, but he would heal. Both hands dropped to his lap as he almost sadly stared at the ceiling. Teeth bit his lip. Still trying to find ways to be with Cameron... Should he REALLY be thinking like this?

His head savagely shook. No! Of COURSE he shouldn't! He was with Cameron for a reason! She was the one who brought these fights on not HIM, and he should be patient. He probably wasn't the easiest person to deal with, not with HIS track record...

He heaved a sigh. Trying to justify it by making him the bad guy wasn't going to get him anywhere. All he would do was beat himself up over this. Like he normally did.

A lot of their fights dealt with Cam's lack of self-esteem and belief in herself when it dealt their relationship. If she could just see herself in a better light, maybe she wouldn't think so lowly of BOTH of them...

His eyes closed, head tilting to the side. Thinking like this always made him drained. Cameron's problem wasn't going to be solved and every attempt he made had little success. Sure he helped her, even a minute bit, but Cameron wasn't going to see anything unless she helped herself. He could only do so much for her.

His body carefully slid down the wall and rested on the floor again. He stared at the ceiling with a blank mind until his eyes closed and he rested.

~*~*~

The gentle sliding of the shoji, along with quiet footsteps a minute later, helped jog awareness. Brown fluttered open and was soon met with a familiar face, one he didn't bother to toss a sarcastic comment to. He didn't meet brown eyes for some time as they stared at the bag in front of him.

"Ototo-chan...what're you doing in here?" Jayden gently asked, crouching by his head.

He followed her movements, craning his head back a little to keep her eyes. He remained silent, though the dead look on his face gave him away.

Jayden sighed. She was no idiot and knew what that meant. Out of all the people in the Yamoi household, she was privy to her little brother's dating problems...as often came from sharing a room together. Slowly, Jayden shifted to a cross-legged position and without thought, he scooted back and his head went into her lap. Arms propped up on her knees as one hand stroked his hair for comfort, the other clasped with his over his chest.

After a while, feeling sibling love override the rivalry, a tender smile peeked through a solemn face. "Do you want to tell me what happened this time?" She quietly asked.

His eyes left Jayden's and stared to the bag. He blinked, breaking a little bit of the spell woven around them by her care. "She accused me of...dating K." He muttered, trying not to feel bitter.

Jayden blinked and was silent for a small spell. Teeth nibbled on her lip. "You mean that girl you write to?" She gained a nod and quietly sighed. "Inaki...you know Cameron is a little -" She paused, unsure. The last thing she wanted to do was offend Inaki for his dating choices. Even if he picked on her about it from time to time. "- well...a little emotional. She's not like us, who have been taught strength and how to handle our emotions in public and to others. I know that we don't always act on our elder generations' teachings, but -" She paused again. What words of comfort could she give that she hadn't already to her ototo?

"Just be patient with her?" He mumbled, eyes closing in bliss. Jayden's hand was still playing with his hair and the feelings invoked from that were overriding the emotions from earlier. His nee-chan always DID know how to calm him down and make him feel loved in times like this.

Jayden gave an encouraging smile. "I think you've been very patient of her ototo...just give her some space until this blows over. If she was at fault, let her use that time to think about what she did and hopefully it'll help."

'I doubt it though...'

The thought went through both their minds. Advice like that was heartening to hear, but to the other party involved, it would always be turned down.

There were no more words spoken as Jayden continued to lightly finger-comb his hair and watch his face. No words were needed. It was times like these when one could see how close the two siblings were. Sure they picked on each other and threw out comments just to get under each other's skin...but in the long run, this was where it counted.

She gave him comfort when he was unsure about the female race and he would give advice about guys when she thought she didn't understand Chad. She knew combing his hair helped him relax more than anything, and his silence usually spoke volumes about something going on in his head. He would always find ways to cheer her up when she was irritated or upset over something in her life. And they both admitted that they loved each other.

After a while, brown lazily opened and met Jayden's eyes. A tiny smile appeared at the pleasant look on her face and he felt some of the bad emotions slide away further. "So what brought you out here nee-chan?"

Jayden gave him a half smile. "Dinner was going to be on the table soon and you were nowhere to be found. Okaasan and obaasan sent me to find you."

His eyes widened before taking in the shadows in the room for the first time. The open gaps in the walls gave out shadows that nearly touched the other side of the dojo. The light had greatly dimmed, but his nap didn't let him see the changes until they were brought up.

"Kuso..." He muttered, almost in shock. "I slept away half of the afternoon! Didn't anyone come back for lunch and wonder where I was?? I was supposed to make it today!"

Jayden gave him another gentle smile to calm his worries and patted his cheek. "Daijoubu. Otousan and I came back for lunch, but otousan didn't figure anything of it. Only when we came back for supper to find you still out of the house did anyone start wondering."

He pouted. "Nice to know I'm so loved around here..." He muttered, looking put out. He got a small giggle and had to fight to keep the smile off his face. Inhaling a breath, feeling loads better, he sat up and turned to his sister. "Arigatou gozaimasu nee-chan."

She leaned forward to accept his hug and gave a pat on the back. "Doo itashimashite ototo-chan." She quietly answered. When Inaki hopped up, she accepted his help to stand and playfully pushed him toward the exiting shoji.

What were big sisters for?

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Dojo-School Shoji-Sliding paper/wood walls Kuso-Damn (it) Daijoubu-It's ok/alright Arigatou gozaimasu-Thank you very much

Doo itashimashite-You're welcome/It's nothing Otousan-Dad


	15. Ch 15

The spray of the shower was hot, but felt nice. There was a small knowledge that such a degree could cause first degree burns, but was discarded. The water was exactly what he needed.

His head bowed, letting water plaster his bangs to the sides of his face and cover his eyes. After a few seconds, his head shook to dislodge the troublesome hair keeping him from seeing and gave a small smile.

The shower was finished...he was just standing under the spray and letting it flow over his body for the feel. He liked that, it reminded him of the few times when he stood outside during a summer rainstorm and let it plaster his clothes to his body. Inhaling some of the steam, he decided to stop wasting water and get out. There might be someone else who wanted to use the bath after all.

He turned the handles to off and propped forearms against the wall in front of him, drip-drying for a brief time. With his eyes closed, he could feel every droplet as it paved a way down his skin, sliding along the muscles that defined his body. He shook some of the water off his bangs, causing more to stick to his skin. He let them be for the brief time and pulled the shower curtain aside to reach for a towel. The steam felt too good still and he didn't want to let it all escape.

After drying off his arms and giving his hair a brief towel-dry, he wrapped the terrycloth around his waist and stepped onto the bath mat.

The mirror was fully clouded over to the point of being opaque. His lips tilted as he swiped a hand over it, getting an blurry picture of himself before some of the steam clouded the picture over a little. He stared into the mirror, bracing himself on the wide sink and leaning on his arms. He stopped inches from the glass and solemnly took in his face.

Ever since that last fight he hadn't spoken with Cam. He figured Jayden's advice to let Cam cool off - and him as well - and think things over would help. But unfinished confrontations without an ending hanging in the air weren't things he liked. It ate away at him...especially since this was his girlfriend and someone he cared for...

He looked away with a small shake of his head. Best not to dwell on those thoughts. If today went without a hitch, Cameron would apologize and things could get back to normal. So he hoped...

A hand snatched a wide-toothed comb from the sink and brushed tangles out. His attention turned to his hair as he worked and he stared at the back of his head as best he could. It was growing out again...that was good. Knowing that caused another small smile. It was to his shoulders and curling outward at the edges. It was getting even longer. Perhaps he could finally put it in a ponytail...

To anyone else, that would be considered girly or unmanly. Gods knew the others teased him enough about having long hair. But he liked his hair...he found it one of his best attributes. Aside from the body he kept in shape...and the charming smile...and the color of his eyes. And his nose wasn't that bad either...

He smirked and put the comb away, resituating the towel. Okay, so maybe he counted a LOT of things as his best attributes. But hey...wasn't it better to have a high self-image than a low one? That wasn't conceited, loving the way you looked...so long as it didn't get you an ego.

When the door opened to the hallway, a rush of cool air hit him and the steam left. His head jutted past the doorway, looking right and left to find the coast clear. Now that there was no danger of acting indecent, he headed to his room down the hall. Finally inside, he headed toward the walk-in closet with his half of the clothes and threw it open. Hands rested on his hips as he pondered what to wear. It was pretty nice outside - as the weather normally was for fall. As far as he knew, it was in the mid-seventies...so perhaps he could get to wear his fall clothes now.

Just as he was letting the towel slip to change, the door swung open and he yanked it back up to cover himself. "OI!" He cried, sending an offending glare upon finding who it was. There was no one he could be that rude to, even when invading the sanctuary of his room, unless it was... "Nee-chan!! Couldn't you have KNOCKED first?"

Jayden blankly stared for a few seconds before bringing in a basket of folded clothes and set them on her bed. "As you saw, my hands were full ototo-chan." She set the basket down and started pulling things out. "And knock to enter my own room?"

"It's not just YOURS, you know." He retorted, heading into the closet. Leaving the door cracked enough to be heard, he placed the towel on his head and went for the small chest on the floor.

"Nanto..." Jayden muttered, standing. She turned to the closet and with the barest of sighs, set her clothes down in wait. "Lunch will be ready soon. I just thought I'd come up and tell you since you were in the shower so long."

He tossed the towel down and pulled the light grey wife beater over his head. "Arigatou nee-chan...but I'm heading out soon. I'm going to give Cam a call and meet with her."

Jayden blinked and sat on the bed, arms over her lap. She leaned over her thighs a little in interest and watched the door. "Eehh? So you going to go hear her apology? Or apologize?"

"Hear. I'm not in the wrong on that."

"Hai hai...don't work yourself up over that. You already did remember?" A hand waved in the air, as if to dissipate the bad vibes. "Yare yare," She muttered, standing, "it can't be helped. Ganbatte ne, ototo-chan." Turning to her clothes, Jayden ended their talk and picked them up the same time Inaki pushed the door open.

There was a little bit of sibling love in his eyes. A small smile resided on his face. It was always good to know his nee-chan was on his side with matters like this. He inclined his head in thanks when she stopped before him and then went around into the closet. 

He decided to be nice and help in return for her words and faith. Knowing where and how she wanted her clothes, he picked up a bundle from the basket and turned...only to have something cloth-like smack him directly in the face. "Are?!" He cried out, stumbling. Hands flailed to keep him from falling and dropped Jayden's folded clothes.

"Pick up after yourself!" Jayden retorted. "Mataku...you messed them all up."

He pulled the cloth away from his face and found it was the towel he used. A hand went through his drying bangs to fix them and glared down at his sister. "Oi...what was that for?? You didn't need to blind me! That could've hurt you know!"

Jayden concentrated on trying to fold what she could back to normal and ignored his words. "Not so likely..." With a sad face, she pulled a slip up and tried to shake the wrinkles out of the half-dry cloth. "Mou...this is silk too."

Inaki tsked and stepped around her, slinging the towel over his shoulder. "If you hadn't thrown it at me, I wouldn't have dropped everything! Baka." He paused at the door and looked at the mess. It was a little bigger than he thought. "That's what I get for trying to help out and be nice..." He muttered.

He paused long enough in the bathroom to hang the towel up before heading to the kitchen. The aroma of the dishes cooling on the stove hit his nose and his stomach clenched in hunger. Perhaps he would grab something for the road. He had a feeling wherever he and Cam went, he would probably stop somewhere and grab a bite before they parted anyway.

Pulling the lid off one pan found a plethora of white, meat-filled dumplings. His eyes lit up and he snuck a wary glance around the area and surrounding family room. 'Yosh...no one around.' With a sly grin, he reached over and snatched a pair of chopsticks from the resting place by the stove and grabbed a dumpling. Quickly replacing the pan to keep everything warm, he blew on his prize and took a bite when it was cool enough.

"Musuko...bad manners. We used those chopsticks to cook with, not eat with."

He startled and choked on the final bite he stuffed in his mouth. After a quick cough to free his windpipe, he blushed from getting caught and went to rinse off the chopsticks. His face slid forward to hide his eyes with his bangs. "Gomen okaasan..." He muttered, feeling his face flame. "I was just going to grab a bite for the road before I called Cameron and patched things up."

Nothing met his reply and after grabbing a towel to dry them with, he looked up in confusion and found his mother at the stove...dishing up some food with a different pair of chopsticks. "Okaasan..."

She turned with the smile only a mother can give and set the chopsticks on the loaded plate. "If you're going out, have something before you go. You don't need to fill yourself with such greasy junk food, as I know you'll probably do."

He sheepishly looked to the ground and smiled when she winked to show she was teasing. He gave a small nod and looked up to find her setting the plate on the table. His heart warmed. Only his okaasan. "Kaasan..." He lovingly whispered. Remembering the chopsticks in his hand, he headed to the stove and put them back. When he turned around, he found his mother setting a teacup next to the steaming plate.

His face softened even further, and his head ducked at the treatment as her hand swooped to his zabuton invitingly. Taking the invite, never wanting to be rude, he slowly headed over and kneeled. "Arigatou gozaimasu..." He mumbled, bowing over the plate.

"Doo itashimashite." She answered, giving his shoulder a small pat. His heart flowed with love. Only a mother could pamper their child so much by doing something so simple...

"Itadakimasu." He muttered, grabbing a rice ball. Just finishing that, he looked up when his mother stopped at his side and blinked in bemusement at finding her holding the phone for him to take. "Eh? Nani?"

His mother's eyes closed with a friendly smile. "You wanted to call Cameron, did you not?"

Barely a discipline for sneaking food with the cooking utensils...then she dished him up lunch, and now got the phone for him?? He slowly took the cordless with a sheepish smile, feeling totally pampered. Only in these quiet times with his mother did he feel like this. When there was no one around to spoil the bonding mood. "D - doomo arigatou..." He gained another pat on the shoulder and pressed a speed dial, getting a ring. He went for another rice ball and dipped it some of the sauce his mother poured as he waited. As he listened to the rings, he tried to get the small blush off his face.

"Merth residence."

"May I talk to Cameron please?" He asked, setting the food down. The hand rested on the table as some of his bad mood returned, his mother's indulging not enough to decimate it entirely.

"This is Cameron."

"Konnichi wa." He quietly greeted.

There was a pause, as if someone were holding their breath. He couldn't tell who was doing it.

"Inaki..."

"I told you I'd call you this weekend. Sorry it wasn't Saturday."

"That's fine... Do - do you have a few hours we can spend together? I'd like to...talk."

Part of his mood lifted a little in hopes that his plan and advice given to him worked. "Yea. I'm eating a quick lunch and I can be over within half an hour or so."

"Are you boarding it over?"

"It's nice enough to. If you want to drive...we can take your car."

There was another bout of silence. He slowly went for the rice ball again as if coming from a trance. "That works." Cam quietly answered. "I'll see you in...half an hour?"

"Hai." He quietly replied.

There was a slow click, as if Cam gently put the phone back where it belonged, before he turned his off with a beep.

He deeply inhaled and held it for a few seconds before letting it exit with a whoosh. After that, he forced himself to cheer up a little and stuffed the rest of the rice ball in his mouth.

A quick look behind him found the area empty. He blinked, wondering if he was that preoccupied that he didn't notice his mother leave. His request of her taking the phone died as he set it on the table next to his plate and finished up the rest of his lunch before it got cold. Just as he was sipping his drink, reveling in the ever-pleasant aroma of green tea, his mother entered as quietly as she appeared and kneeled before the table.

He only had enough time to jump at finding her suddenly next to him before her hand took his plate. "Iie okaasan! I can take care of that -" He stopped when she seemed to not hear him and rose.

He looked up and met her eyes, blinking at her amiable look. That was one of the things he liked about his mother. She may not've been Japanese, but her manner was quiet, yet pleasant. She fit into the household perfectly. Too bad Jayden didn't get her personality from their mother.

"You've had a bad weekend musuko." Yamoi Kristine quietly replied. "You don't need to tell me your problems if you don't want to, but it's important that you're happy."

With the help of his palms, he twisted on the zabuton and stared at his mother, blinking like an owl. "Okaasan?"

Gently setting the dishes in the sink, Kristine turned and gave her son a soft look. "Your happiness is very important to me as your mother." Socked feet padded across and touched tatami of the eating area as she kneeled to take the phone. "It's okay to allow yourself to let others do something for you once in a while. Enjoy it musuko." With that, she headed out of the kitchen to put the phone away.

He watched her exit, staring even when she was out of sight. His head lowered with a touched smile and a hand cradled the cup in his palm again. His mother...such a kind person. Was it any mystery that he loved her so?

'Kaasan...'

Deep brown spied a clock on the counter and widened over the brim of the porcelain. He was going to be late!

He downed the rest of the tea, feeling bad for not being able to enjoy it, and jumped to his feet. He at least got the satisfaction of putting his cup to soak with the rest of his dishes before rocketing it to the front door. He grabbed a pair of sandals and his board from its resting place in the closet. "Gochisousan!" He called, hugging the board to his side. He threw the door open and snatched his house keys off their peg on the wall. "Ittekimasu!"

"Iterasshai!"

He smiled and nodded to his mother's voice, though she couldn't see him and locked the door.

He headed to the street and dropped the board, hopping on and savagely kicked off. "Man - I'm going to be so late! She won't forgive me for that and then things won't get any better!"

He decided to take a few short cuts instead of keeping to the streets. Pushing off on the back, he jumped into the air and caught his board with a deft hand and broke into a run as he hugged it to his body. An arm rose to guard his face as he took a sharp turn into a few trees and cut through an extensive lawn of the neighbors. He kept his pace fast and low to keep from being seen and jumped over a small pile of rocks.

After breaking through the mini forest, he dropped the board face down and hopped on, using his momentum to gain speed. He pushed off and headed down a few streets to the next block and repeated the process with his board. He pushed off the ground with all his might and hopped a chain link fence into a yard. He jogged through it, running up the plastic slide to gain height and jump over the other side.

He landed well and found Cameron's street a straight distance away. He smiled and dropped his board a third time, pushing off with less intensity than the others. He made good time and hopefully he could relax his heartbeat so Cam didn't know how late he might've been. A hand went through his hair as he coasted on the incline. He suddenly found he forgot to grab a hat, but disregarded it. His bangs were never easily tamable by sticking them through the hole of a backwards cap and his hair was in its ponytail.

He leaned on the brake as he came onto their lawn and put his foot on the concrete. After kicking on the brake, he caught the board and held it in the crook of his arm and ambled up the lawn. A brief knock on the front door soon produced his reason for coming and he nodded in greeting. Cameron gave a small smile back and opened the screen door.

"I'm heading out dad! I'll be back in a few hours!" Cameron called, grabbing her keys.

The two silently headed to the car and he dropped his board on the floor of the front seat before climbing in. Cameron started the car and the solar engine hummed to life before they headed down the street.

There was a tenseness surrounding them as Cameron stopped the car at a deserted park a ways away. Inaki grabbed his board before he knew he did and hugged it to his side before the two locked the car and headed for the equipment.

Cameron quietly sat on a swing and stared at the gravel underneath while he straddled his board on the concrete a few feet away. After a few seconds of waiting for her to speak, he slowly began rocking in agitation with help of the wheels. He wanted to fidget. He wanted to toy with a strand of hair or tap his fingers on something. But he fought the urges to busy himself and waited. Cam had to do this without prompting - he knew this - and it seemed she was struggling with trying to say anything as it was.

Hands clenched around the chains to the swing as she took a deep breath. Cameron knew she couldn't look at him, as she was still feeling incredibly guilty. "I...I thought about what you told me. We've gone out for almost eight months and nearly half of that has been like this. I know I'm partially to blame for bringing up the fights...no - maybe a little more than half." Her eyes squeezed shut. "I just...I can't stand being away from you! I like being around you so much... I always wondered what you saw in me and every time I see you talking or the occasional flirting with another girl, I always think you'll leave me..."

They were some of the worst fears she had. She was very close to falling in love with this man, but she always denied it because of his nature. She knew that's just the way part of him was, but she wanted ALL his attention. Was it right to have him focus on her and only her like that? To look at no one else and be around her and her alone? Not just women...but other people...

Whenever she thought about it, it sounded like obsession...

Her hands clenched tighter as shameful tears appeared. "I'm...sorry for the way I've acted, for the way I act." Cameron tightly whispered. "I'm trying - I really am - to change, but it's hard. I just can't see myself as outgoing as you..." Her throat clogged and she tried to swallow past it. "I know you're trying to help and I'm grateful for that. No one I know would try so hard or so relentlessly with your kind of patience..." Her head bowed even further, spilling hair into her vision and hiding her face. "Can you...forgive me for the way I've been? I'm such a fool...but I can't be something I'm not yet..."

With held breath and a heart full of girlish hope, Cameron waited, body tense. Her jaw and eyes clenched shut, hands shaking with the death grip on the swing.

She didn't know what she would do if he didn't forgive her. He had so far, but the fights were growing worse as time passed. She was trying to bite her tongue, but it seemed she was stretching his patience every time.

The longer time drew out, the more her heart started losing hope and sinking. Perhaps...this fight was the last straw...

Cameron inhaled a quiet, shaky breath. More tears followed as she lost all hope. The area was eerily quiet. Was Inaki still around? She didn't hear him get up and walk away, nor did she hear his wheels moving and crunching against the walk anymore. Was he just sitting there enjoying her misery?

Maybe that wasn't as horrible as it sounded...considering all the misery she put HIM through these past months by being so -

A quiet crunch on gravel jerked her head up and she blinked. A hand quickly swiped at tears in her eyes to clear it a little...and also to make sure she wasn't seeing anything.

No...she WASN'T dreaming! Inaki WAS smiling at her! Her mouth slowly dropped as her eyes widened further. Did this mean -

His gaze softened at her childlike appearance. She looked so pathetic and small sitting there that he couldn't help but pity her. He took another step to her, sandals crunching underneath as he slowly headed over. He stopped just a few inches from her knees and kneeled. Hands rested on her skin, pushing her back a little when he leaned on her. Without saying a word, he pressed a kiss to an exposed thigh and rested his head in her lap.

That was all she needed to know. The soft look in his eyes and his touch... Tears of relief spilled from her eyes as her head bowed in gratitude. After a few minutes, he gradually pulled back and stood, extending a hand for her to take. Cameron gripped it like a lifeline and was pulled to her feet, throwing her arms around him as if he'd leave if she didn't.

Sobs shook her form and he inaudibly sighed. Her words touched him; he knew she was sincere. She thought about his words, but whether or not she'd change as a result from this was unknown.

A large part of him didn't think so. Had Cameron used their fighting to change for the better, the fighting would have stopped months ago. All he could do was wait and watch to see how she acted and hope this would finally open her eyes.

Open her eyes and let her trust him more...

"Shhh...calm down Cam..." He whispered, resting his head against hers. He gave a kiss next to her cheek and a brief rub against her hair. "Daijoubu - it's okay. Stop crying now..." The hand rubbing her back snaked around her waist to press her closer. Cameron's arms responded, but her breathing became forcefully deeper as she tried to calm down.

Cameron knew he didn't like it when women cried. They were a weak spot he had, but it wasn't like she did it on PURPOSE. She had always been able to cry. Not at the drop of a hat of course, but she never found it hard at least.

His chin rested on her head, a hand slowly petting her hair nearby. After a while, it slowed to a stop as they stood there and he stared into the sky above.

How would things go after this? Her confession was promising, but he didn't want to get his hopes up. For a girl who thought so little of her self-worth, it often carried to things like this. It was one of the reasons he felt sorry for her sometimes. She was jealous of other girls because of her insecurities and he was trying to make her open up so she wouldn't be anymore.

Getting her to change that was hard, but he wanted her to for the better if he was going to be with her - and he wanted to be with her. He wouldn't ask her to change otherwise, but the way she was now wasn't easy to deal with. If Cameron didn't find self-worth and self-esteem to trust him...he didn't know how much more he could take.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Hai-Yes/yea/ok **(General acknowledgement to something said) **Ganbatte ne-Work hard/good luck Mataku-Geez Mou-Really

Baka-Stupid/idiot/moron/etc **(General degradation of someone's intelligence) **Gomen-Sorry Nani-What Nanto-Whatever

Itadakimasu-Bon Appetite/Thank you for the food **(Version of grace) **Doomo arigatou-Another way of saying thank you

Gochisousan-Thank you for the food Ittekimasu-I'm leaving/going

Iterasshai-**(General well wishes in response to Ittekimasu, not too sure what the literal translation is as I've seen a few spin offs...if anyone cares to inform me, please let me know)**


	16. Ch 16

"I hope you are not suggesting that my art project is an excuse for me not going with you on the thirty-first."

"Not entirely...but I KNOW you're reveling in the fact that you have something to get out of the party with and force me to go with someone else."

"I'm HURT. You SERIOUSLY suggest I would stop a yearly tradition just so you can have a DATE?"

She didn't blink. In fact, the slight glare she was giving grew even worse. "You've tried to match-make me with four guys since I moved in with you. I don't hold you above THAT."

Sam grinned. "And hey, at least ONE of them worked, didn't it?"

The glare dropped and was replaced with a sullen look. "I'm not touching the Eugene topic with a ten-foot pole." She muttered, turning away with crossed arms. "So don't even start on him."

Samantha sensed the tension in the air at a delicate subject - one she had good knowledge of - and agreed with her friend's order. "Alright then...so maybe I AM pushing you to go out on a date. Skirting that guy altogether, the only other date you've been on was before you two broke up before you turned twenty. You haven't had a date in, what...six months?"

"Eight."

Light blue widened. "Okay...unless you're going for some type of record, I suggest you follow my advice and pick someone to go with you. Preferably a GUY!"

She smirked and sat on her bed, falling back to stare at the ceiling. "You found my loophole." Silence followed the weak joke as she thought. "So who do you suggest? I don't know any guys really. Heck, I don't even have that many FRIENDS."

"You know SOME guys..." A pudgy hand floated in the air as Samantha counted off her fingers. "You know Hal, my brothers - but let's not go there, Inaki -HEY! That's it!" With a wide grin, Sam flopped on the bed and stared at her friend. "You can write Inaki and ask him to go with you!"

Deep green dryly met blue. "How many times am I going to have to remind you that he has a GIRLFRIEND - G.I.R.L.F.R.I.E.N.D - until that sticks?"

The grin on Sam's face didn't falter. "Until I get you two together. But to emphasis a point here..." A hand reached down and gripped her arm. "Since you two ARE just friends...what's the harm? The last time you saw him was when he stopped for your birthday. Why don't you take initiative and ask him to go with you?" Sam's hand shook her a little, as if to persuade. "Come on - I know if you DON'T go, you'll end up studying, since your shift has been successfully swapped for that night."

"I only switched shifts because I figured we were going again this year and I like going to the university get-togethers." She dully answered, looking back to the ceiling. "But if you're not going, then perhaps I can just say screw the changes and -"

"Kalie Himmen don't you DARE." Samantha ordered. She sat up and glared. "Me or someone else doesn't really matter...the point is to get you out and ENJOY life! You spend enough time on your studies as it is! Why do you think I keep trying to match-make you with people?? It's to get you out and enjoy your youth before you turn into a dried up, spinster old lady!"

A sarcastic smile lit her face. "You make that sound like a bad thing." She kidded, no real humor in that. She often fought like this with Sam over men and dating because she didn't really WANT a guy in her life. As much as she envied the lovey-dovey couples, she didn't need or want a guy around like that. Part of her said it was safer to be alone, to keep her independence...but the smaller part that'd experienced dating and what it gave her - even in the past - said to not give up...

Samantha's lips twitched, but she refused to smile and lighten her glare. She knew if she did, the girl wouldn't do as suggested - which would probably result to pleading - and stay home or go to work. She COULDN'T let that happen! As much as she was irritated by knowing Inaki was taken, that didn't stop her from trying to get the two together whenever the beautiful, rare opportunity presented itself.

"Why don't you just ASK him! What could it hurt? If not, you could always ask Chance to go if you don't want to go with a guy. I'd offer my brothers, but I don't consider them human half the time anyway..."

She grinned, stifling a small giggle. That humor never failed to lighten the mood, even if Sam sometimes made it serious. "I tend to agree with you on the little monsters, but I don't really know Chance that well to head with her to the dance. We're more like good acquaintances than friends."

Sam blinked with a lost look. "You...are...SO weird..." She muttered, a hand going to her forehead. "And you think I'M bad." She gave a sigh before going back to the matter at hand. "Well that leaves Hal and Sheryl...and in that case, I'd pick Hal over Sheryl. But I know of your reluctance to accept dates from the guy so that leaves Sheryl."

Deep green looked to the far wall in hesitation. "I...I don't know about anyone from Westchester. I mean, they're all people from high school if I have any friends from there. It'd feel kinda odd..."

"Again...and you call ME weird... Why would that be strange to invite an old friend to your college?"

She couldn't explain it well enough to be understood, but she'd try. "The only people I ever connected with were Sheryl and Hal. Now I'm older and in college. I'm not the same person I was in high school -"

"I beg to differ. Bookworm."

She felt a small smile appear. "But still...I feel that the past few years HAVE changed me...even a little. There're times when I wonder why they're still friends with me." Both indexes pressed together in a fidgeting move.

Sam scooted back and rested her back on the side of the daybed, draping her feet over Kalie's stomach. She ignored the put out look and stared at the girl, even when Kalie's arms rested over her feet in acceptance to their position. "There are times when I think I don't understand you and this is one of those times." She quietly answered, eyes drifting closed. "You are smart, funny, helpful, amiable, congenial, independent, and a whole list of other things. It's a miracle that anyone WOULDN'T want to be your friend." A heel dug into her stomach gently to chastise the girl. "Every time I hear you spout such garbage it makes me want to slap some sense into you. But being the charming, witty, and BEAUTIFUL best friend that I am - I put up with it and go with the flow."

Talks such as these happened from time to time whenever deeper matters uncovered themselves. It was amazing someone bright and hard-working like Kalie had such an esteem complex. It wasn't very noticeable, as she hid it well, but it wasn't easy to run from either. It was amazing how her best friend continued to shove it aside and ignore it instead of work to get past it.

"You know I ask little of you when it really counts and times I do normally benefit you more than they do me." Arms crossed as Sam sat up and crossed her legs, staring into green with a serious expression. "Since you don't feel comfortable with anyone from Westchester or the university, I strongly suggest you write Inaki and ask if he's free Halloween night for the dance. It can't hurt if you two are strictly friends and he's already taken. I'm being serious about that for once." A hand moved and grasped hers as the two remained in eye contact. "I'm asking this as a friend, and also the surrogate sister you asked me to be a year after we met. Write him and ask. You have plenty of time and also something to wear to the dance. If he can't, and you don't want to go with anyone else...I'll let you go to work and or study without whining about it." Sam gave a gentle squeeze. "Agreed?"

She stared for what seemed the longest time into light-colored eyes in small wonder. Why did Sam make so much sense sometimes, when she seemed to lack it during daily life? Was this her real best friend hidden underneath the sarcastic comments and jokes? That would make sense, as HER real self was hidden through hard work and responsibility.

Finally, she looked to the bed with a small nod. "Agreed." 

Sam smiled. Mission accomplished.

Letting the mood wind down, Sam gave it a minute before jumping off the bed. "Alright...now that THAT'S settled, you want to continue to work on your costume?"

She scooted to the edge of the bed and stared at the carpet, unable to meet her friend's eyes. "It's kind of pointless now...since we were going to go in identical outfits."

A hand waved. "It can still happen. Why not? I'm sure you could knock Inaki's socks off with the outfits we were planning on wearing..."

That managed to get her eyes and she gave a good-natured glare. "Sam... Novia, Sam...NO-VI-A."

The pout Sam gave got an even bigger smile that helped evaporate the bad. "You are SUCH an effective killer of my fantasies toward you two..."

She blankly stared for a second, stupidly blinking, before her nose scrunched up. "You're disgusting."

"I didn't mean like THAT!" Sam defended, wagging a finger. "NOW who's disgusting?? I meant as a happy, sickeningly cute couple!"

A wry grin spread over her face as she stood and went for her desk and the articles covering it. "With any chance to have me get laid in the process right?" She leaned against the wood and crossed her arms knowingly.

"Hey...anything to get you to unwind..."

She bust out laughing, slapping a hand to her forehead.

~*~*~

_Inaki,_

_I know I sent you a letter at the beginning of this week, but this is different. One - it's going to be within an actual page limit (don't give my letter that look)...and two - I've got something I'd like to ask you._

_On Halloween, my college is having its annual dance. I've gone to it since I started, having gone with Sam at the time as a sort of tradition. (Yes I DO do things outside of studying and I do enjoy dancing.) There's the small matter of a project Sam is working on for an art class that's a few weeks long and she wants to use the time effectively. All I know is it's a very detailed piece and is kind of like a massive test for that class. Sam is very passionate about her art and tries to get good grades like I do, so I didn't pressure her too much getting out of it._

_Which brings me to my final thought - yes I did have one. If you are not doing anything massive that night, I was wondering if you would like to accompany me. As friends of course, I know you have Cameron._

_It's not required to wear a costume, but the council organizing the event advises it because there's a contest. The areas are single, couple, and group- the individual gets twenty-five dollars, the couple fifty a piece, and the group (up to five people) each get seventy-five dollars._

_With the contest of course there's an entry fee, and it's cut if one wears a costume. There's also student id required, and those who aren't students will end up paying more. Regardless of the costs and all fluctuations, it's relatively cheap and there's always a big turnout. There's a live D.J. and the dance area is pretty big._

_So in light of all the information I think I've rambled - I have a tendency to do that don't I? - if you could let me know within the next week that'd be great. If not, that's no big deal...I got time off with a co-worker at Coffee Works, but if you don't wanna go I was planning on going to work. That or study._

_Anyway...yea. Waiting for your response._

_Kalie_

_October 16, 2097_

She stared at the half page and felt like there was much more she wanted to add, but there was nothing else she needed to say. It was normal to feel like she was forgetting something, as her letters usually were a page or more in length.

With a small shake, she sealed and got it ready for posting. She would send it off right away so he could get it by the weekend and give his answer to her before the start of next. Well...she HOPED anyway. She always did find herself a small planner at heart.

She smiled and exited her room. Best to do it now while she still had the drive before Sam found she finished and swooped down on her.

As she grabbed her house keys off the small table, an evil grin appeared. "I'm heading out for a bit Sammy! I'll be back soon!" She called, opening the door.

"Say what?! Where? We've gotta work on your costume!"

She giggled and jogged to her bike, unchaining it as quickly as possible. Sam wouldn't force her to remain, but there was that childlike innocence that came whenever she was with the girl. Grinning, she jogged the bike to the sidewalk and hopped on.

The nearest mailbox was half a mile or so away, and therefore didn't take her long. She returned within half an hour and headed back inside. "I'm back!" She called, dropping the keys where they belonged. "You can harass me all you want now - I've got the rest of the night."

That blond head popped out from part of the stairs. "Really?" A gleeful light hit those blue eyes. "You mailed the letter?"

She nodded and bypassed Sam on the way up. "Yes I mailed the letter, and yes I asked him. I requested he give me his answer within the next week and if I know him, he'll give it around the beginning. I also gave him the details of the dance and costumes."

Sam grinned as she followed the girl into her room. "Alright then, we've got two weeks to make this outfit spectacular! I know you don't wanna spend that much and that's why we're going to use that time restraint to make a few things."

A hand went to the faded blue jeans and picked them up. "Considering there's not much to work with and we're going off books and your artistic creativity, I don't know how well we're going to succeed with this one. Can't I just wear the fairy costume I had on last year?"

"No! Everyone knows you show up and a lot of people will know you wore that. You can't go every year in the same thing!"

"Then what about the prom queen outfit I had on the year before? You still have that tiara right? Won't that pass?"

"Same rules apply. And I want to see you in something wild for once." Sam zoned in on all the supplies littering her desk. "Now let's get to it. We'll work an hour or two now and then you can fix lunch before I have to head to work."

"Yes mother..."

**Spanish language will be translated under the Japanese when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.**

**Translations: **Novia-Girlfriend


	17. Ch 17

Fingers went to the bridge of his nose as if he was in pain. After sitting like that for a small time, brown opened and looked to the letter next to him on his bed.

Almost three months of corresponding and she wrote the same way. He figured by now her hesitation to tell or ask him things would've lessened even a SMALL degree.

But then, this was Kalie Himmen he was thinking of.

A hand picked up her letter and reread the latest. It surprised him to find such a short one, and so soon. He hadn't been able to reply to her last one yet, and days later, he got another one. It was kind of odd how they could write each other constantly - as far as four to time times a month got with the mail system - and still be able to find things to say. Of course...given that K seemed a rather private person, she hadn't said a whole lot about herself. Not anything in-depth anyway.

He betted he could go through all her letters and find more stuff said about friends, family, or life outside than what SHE actually thought and desired. One of the few he couldn't count was the one he got that helped for her birthday.

K was a complex puzzle he couldn't figure out by words. Another reason why his shock was apparent when she said she liked dancing. Not to mention had a life outside of school and work!

K pegged herself a bookworm before he even could! It was like some kind of warning she was giving that he didn't see. She was a hard worker, devoted to her studies, but she wasn't addicted. That's what he figured a bookworm was. With even the dozen or so letters he'd compiled in this short time, he knew she was no bookworm.

Shaking his head, knowing he could never get a conclusion about the girl, he slid off the the futon and took up residence at his desk.

_K,_

_Wow...what a surprise...two whole letters in a week! Well, sort of, if you discount the mailing system and whatnot..._

_First off I'd just like to say...ARE YOU NUTS? Working on something like that...you need to get out more! Of COURSE I'll go with you to the dance. Disregarding Cam...I'd go just to keep you from keeping yourself from having fun! Sheesh - you're making me shake my head in pity at you right now! Kidding._

_The only thing I intended on doing Halloween was go with the other musketeers and rob the kids. ...Kidding again. So yea, thanks for the invite, I've never been to college parties like that, though I've been to different parties in the past._

_I'll be sure to pick out a costume. I love Halloween, though my family doesn't celebrate it. Gives me an excuse to play around and have fun. In fact, I've got something in mind and I think you'll like it. If you're a history major, you'll definitely appreciate my idea. But I won't say what it is - as I wouldn't be able to do it justice with words - and I won't hint at it. You'll have to wait until I get down there. One question I got...do they allow covered weapons? Dull I assume...but can you find out for me?_

_Money's not a problem...I'll work up enough for fee and food. What say we get something to eat after or before? I have a feeling I'll be starving either way._

_If there's anything that turns up, I'm giving you the house number. Just ask for me or leave a message and it'll get to me. My family is pretty good with that, so don't worry. Just in case, you know...if something happens with Sam or whatever._

_Write me back with the fees and times so I know more details. We've still got time. Or heck, just call and leave a message with them...it'd be faster._

_Anyway, time to go put my outfit together. I won't ask what you're wearing, but my curiosity is peeked. I can't wait to see what kind of outfit you'll have one. Daring, or something a little more conservative? Hmm._

_Counting the days..._

_Inaki_

_October 21, 2097_

His phone number went underneath the date, knowing she'd find it there. He folded the letter in the envelope and put a stamp on it. He stared at it before his eyes went to the old-looking chest at the foot of his bed. The trunk that had all his more traditional clothing in it.

His lips pursed. He should mail the letter, but he also wanted to get started in his search for the articles he'd need. Also to brush up on putting everything on, as he was a little rusty. He heaved a sigh. The letter was more important and he had ten whole days - well nine now... - to make sure everything was where it should be. He slid from the chair and fixed the cushion before exiting the room.

He hopped the few stairs and deftly landed on the balls of his feet. He startled at finding his grandparents and Jayden sitting at the table with tea in their hands. He didn't know how he missed that, but he let it pass. He never ignored an opportunity to have a quiet sip with anyone in his family. Well...maybe Jayden...

"I'm going out for a bit." He held up the letter and went for the coat closet.

"Magomusuko...would you deliver a few for me as well?" He slipped out of his sandals and padded into the kitchen - shoes weren't allowed on the house interior. He took a string-tied bundle of envelopes and looked at them. "Take good care of them magomusuko...they're store bills."

He nodded and saluted. "Leave it to me obaasan!"

"I wouldn't if I were you obaasan..."

He stuck his tongue out at Jayden, who smirked over her cup in response, and went back for the sandals. "Ittekimasu!"

"Iterasshai."

After jogging to the sidewalk, he dropped the board and hopped on. A good, solid kick from the pavement got pretty good speed as he boarded for the downtown area.

The afternoon was so gorgeous! He looked to the early afternoon sky and smiled. He was always appreciative of fall weather - it wasn't as hot as summer! Hands stuck in his pocket as brown idly looked around. He pushed off when his speed slowed and resumed his stance. These were the best times to skateboard...when the day was early, the sky a cloudless blue, the wind non-existent to gentle, and the area was quiet. A serene look marked his face.

The love for his hometown rose, as it did in times like these. He disliked living in such a small area sometimes...but the neighborhoods were nice, the people amiable enough, and the lands spread out for privacy.

The times he appreciated living so closed off from bustling cities were these. Having been to Miami was almost overwhelming for the first time, especially driving to it alone. The size was many times that of Andytown, discounting the forestry. He was confused at the streets and the way it seemed to be daylight with all the lights and neon signs around.

Not that big cities scared him or that he was immune to them...he'd done traveling with his grandparents and parents on store business trips when he was younger. But out here, he could appreciate the size of a person's individual land as opposed to the tiny backyard K and Sam had with their house. It seemed no one owned a yard, let alone more than two trees in it. He found that amusing and kind of sad. There were trees dotting the entire yard for shade and wind protection. Not to mention the shrubs along part of the house and the flowers his mother tended.

He pushed off the ground again, feeling a little nostalgic. The clacking of wheels over the sidewalk met his ears as he edged into downtown. The sounds of cars met his senses as well.

It could be considered his house was located in the more country of this small town. A lot of the residents had a good size of land, even if their houses were small. Even the downtown area had trees scattered around, patches of lawn in areas.

It was sad that the closest mailbox was there. He had to go the few miles into denser areas just to mail a letter. But...nothing to be done, and he could use the exercise on occasion...

A foot shot out and halted him. The other remained put as he dropped K's letter in and untied the bundle of bills. He pocketed the string and slid the remainder in, closing the lid with a squeak. The same foot wedged between the space of board and sidewalk and his body tensed. In a calculated, knowing move, he jumped into the air and feet twisted his board the opposite way he came. After an easy land of both feet on board, he pushed off the ground.

He missed doing tricks like that. It was fun to feel that little bit of adrenaline and unknowing if the trick would make him wipe out and embarrass himself. Not that making himself look like a fool was anything big...he could laugh at himself when he did something stupid. He was also confident enough in his boarding abilities - having done it since he was a kid - to know his tricks would work.

The ride back was the same as the ride there. With over a decade of practice and knowing his balance was sure, both arms lazily stretched over his head.

"Konnichi wa Yamoi-chan!"

Arms dropped as brown shot to the upcoming neighboring house. A friendly smile appeared as a hand waved. "Konnichi wa Kajiura-san!" He let the momentum slow as he came upon the house. "Ogenki desu ka."

A man the age of his grandfather nodded and waved back. "Hai, ogenki desu. What brings you out on a beautiful day like this?"

He stopped at the edge of a waist-high, rather thick, concrete yard marker and rested his palms on it. His feet spread to either side of the board as he rocked side to side. It was nice to see how much the residential area managed to keep a lot of Japanese style, even if house interior wasn't as traditional as it was hundred of years ago. It was exact as his family's land. Dozens of houses around here had the same concrete fences that marked right up to the sidewalks.

The elder man stopped a few feet away with a broom in hand. "Kajiura-san thought I should get outside and get engawa swept since it's so nice out." The elder looked a little put out.

He smiled. "Just don't let obaasan or ojiisan hear you say that. I don't want to be doing any chores right now."

"Eehh? What makes you think YOU get to slack off chores when I can't?"

His smile widened. "Because I've been invited to a Halloween party from a pen pal and I want to get my costume taken out and set aside."

"But you have a week for that." There was a knowing grin on the old man's face. "You were always a mild slacker unless it was something you really looked forward to."

Brown good-naturedly glared, but he smirked. Kajiura-san always had no qualms about picking on him for his lazy ways. Nicely of course.

It was nice to have a big family living with you in one house, and then a friendship with the surrounding neighbors to top it off. His family was well-known for being a good supply of traditional Japanese goods. Whenever the weather was nice enough, his family would sit on the porch and gather those around to chat or visit. Sometimes - if it was near holidays - they would hold a few small get-togethers for those who held Buddhism close.

"This party isn't around here is it? I haven't heard anything about one."

His head shook. "Iie. It's in a different city. The one I went when me and the others went to the concert months back."

"Ah...know someone down there do you?" The man winked and again he glared, though this was more embarrassed.

"No you jijii...it's strictly a friend."

A hand waved almost patronizingly. "Hai, hai. Wakarimasu... Well then...guess I should get back to it. Before the evening comes upon us."

He smiled as the man took a few paces back to the house. "Ja ne Kajiura-san."

"Ja ne Yamoi-chan!"

His mood lifted from peaceful nostalgic, to heartwarming. It felt like he had an even bigger family than those in his household whenever he conversed with his neighbors like that. It made him feel good to know people around him cared enough about his life to ask questions and pry a little bit.

Opening the front door found the three wandering around in the kitchen where he left them and he nodded in greeting when they looked at him. "Tadaima."

"Okaeri."

His sandals and board were promptly put away, as he didn't want any lip from his family about leaving his stuff out, and he headed into his room. It was time to start on his so-called 'costume'.

Hands clicked the locks off his chest and he opened it with a small creak. His lips pursed as he mentally told himself to get some oil put on the hinges so they wouldn't squeak again. His grandparents wouldn't like that, as they gave him this trunk to put these clothes in for safekeeping.

His eyes lit up as the landed on a swath of blood red. Eagerly, hands dug in and carefully pulled the thick, worn garment from its resting place and unfolded it. It was a haori, part of the outfit he had ever since seiji no hi. It was a gift from the entire family, and it was expensive. It was rather baggy, so he knew he could still fit into it no problem.

He draped the haori on his bed and went for the hakama. He gently shook a few, barely noticeable wrinkles from it and rested the hakama underneath the haori. He grinned and stared. He hadn't laid eyes on these in a while. They were his best clothes and for that reason, not worn very often. He frowned. If that was the case...perhaps he SHOULDN'T wear them. It was the first thing he could think of when he wrote K and it had been a good idea. What better place to wear these type of clothes and have them appreciated than a Halloween party? Other than Andytown, he would never wear them.

But now, staring at them, he wondered if having his best outfit called a costume was a good thing. It was very dear to him and meant a lot; it would put shame to the memories embedded in the threads.

He kneeled and gingerly touched the extension to a sleeve. The fabric was thick cotton, almost like wool. There was a white juban that went with it, and he had fundoshi to wear...

His lips pursed. He wouldn't...for more reasons than this outfit's honor. This was a dance he was going to, which meant hot temperatures and lots of movement. He would get this all sweaty and then it would have to be cleaned. His family might not know he would wear this, as he intended on changing at K's to surprise her, and he didn't want his okaasan or obaasan getting annoyed for his decision.

Hands went and folded the hakama and haori exactly as they were, careful not to get wrinkles in them. No - he decided against this grand outfit. He wouldn't change the general idea, but the outfit could be fixed to something else. The chest was full of traditional hakama, kimono, and haori he could wear.

Kneeling in front of the chest, the outfit resting by his feet, hands started pulling out pieces of clothing and setting them aside. If he was going to deck out as he wanted to, he would choose what didn't have such sentimental value...also light in fabric. He wouldn't skimp on anything just because it would be uncomfortable. There were also summer style clothes in here somewhere.

He nearly emptied his entire chest, a feat considering the thing was a good size, and sat on his heels to observe everything. Most of what he had was white hakama and colored kimono. There were dyed and pattern ones, and he wanted something flashier. Not only did he want to win that contest, as he could put twenty-five dollars to use rather easily, but he wanted to impress someone who didn't know his heritage.

The style of his outfits was Meiji period, save for the red one. That was even older. They were probably most of what people saw in movies, but never thought existed in this time.

He smirked and picked up a kimono to examine. Perhaps not in three-fourths of the country, there were cities like this that held true to their heritage. Maybe even Japan did the same as his family did with these clothes. He didn't know of his home country, as he hadn't visited it yet. He would have to some day.

The hakama were simple to pick out. Though most were white, some had stripe patterns at the bottom to match the kimono and haori. He finally settled on a dark blue stripe and white pair, and set that on his bed. As soon as he got done, he had to make sure he still remembered how to put this all on correctly!

There were a few tops he had that matched the chosen hakama, and it was a chore to pick what he wanted. He finally settled on a dark blue kimono with two parallel, inch-sized, yellow lines tastefully scattered about. That went above the hakama as he kneeled in front of the chest for the rest of his 'accessories'.

There were zouri, tabi, geta, jikatabi, fundoshi, sensu, and cardboards for the hakama properly folded and placed along the bottom. He picked out a single juban, not wanting anymore than that. Though he could wear as many as he pleased, this would be stretching it temperature-wise. He grabbed a pair of zouri and tabi, and snatched a fundoshi and cardboard before going to put everything back.

That done, he set everything on the bed and surveyed it. Finally, he headed to the bedroom door and stuck his head out. "Oi...Jayden?" Silence met his call. In fact, it was silent period. His eyes narrowed. Perhaps his grandparents went outside for a while...maybe they ALL left.

He shrugged and shut the door. That was fine with him. He wasn't worried much about his nudity with his sister, but it didn't help to be burst in on when he was going to change.

He heaved a breath and started stripping his clothes. As he reached for the fundoshi and stared at it, he wondered if he would be able to put it on like he'd been taught. He grinned. Normal boxers were fine, but this would be airier and he was going to need as much of that as he could. Plus he wanted to be completely authentic. And if that meant putting on something that was so going to chaff certain areas before the night was out...so be it. All for the spirit of the holiday!

It didn't take long for his hands to remember what to do and soon he was safely covered and tied the strings. He went for the juban next and firmly tied that. He grabbed the kimono and situated it as best as possible before going for the hakama.

It took a few tries to remember how his grandfather and great grandfather tied their knots before he got it down. To be sure he recalled that later, he unknotted and reknotted it. It was a pain to try and tie the strings exactly as they should be, but to dink with the cardboard that went against his lower back was a little harder with reach.

After situating the kimono and juban so there was a good slit down his chest for air, he went for the tabi and zouri. When he slipped into the sandals, he took a second to look at himself and absorb what he just did. It looked pretty good...

A smirk appeared as he went for Jayden's mirror. Brows disappeared into his bangs as he looked in astonished appreciation. He looked like he stepped two hundred-some years into the future! A proud grin appeared as he twisted to check the back and sides. Damn he looked good! It was such a difference from the modern-style clothes he wore.

There was a sudden urge to go through Jayden's identical chest for a furisode, but he didn't know of any way to tie an obi and didn't have the patience to learn. He would just have to not match with K on this.

Though he grabbed every correct piece of cloth, he hadn't finished accessorizing yet. He left the bedroom and headed for the bathroom. A hand moved and pulled the tie out of his ever-present, near shoulder blade-length braid and started undoing the strands. The other grabbed a brush and maneuvered his hair into a high ponytail on the crown of his skull and tied it. His bangs got a quick run-through before he surveyed himself.

Nice. He looked even better than before. But, to REALLY play the part of the samurai...

He shut the lights off with a grin and headed for the basement. He knew he wouldn't be allowed to bring sharp weapons, even sheathed. As he headed down the small flight of stairs to the lower level, and then the basement, he weighed the decision to carry something like that all night.

A hand shot out and flicked on a light switch as zouri slapped down the stairs. Sai would be held against or near the back, carefully stuffed in the hakama ties...and he couldn't deal with that for hours on end.

He stopped in front of the weapon wracks and tapped a finger against a cheek. His other pulled a katana from its resting place and held it up. These were the dull, practice weapons...the sharp ones either rested in cases for protection, or in the outside dojo for use.

The katana slid through the ties and he performed a few twists with it. The weapon didn't shift, as the ties were tight enough, but the excess movement he created with it was annoying. He slid the katana out and gently set it on the wood rack again. He eyed the wakizashi before picking it up. It was smaller, but would give the cool, badass effect he wanted. It replaced the katana and he moved the same way before nodding in satisfaction. It would do.

The blade was about the length of his forearm and it looked a little wimpy, but was better than nothing. He hurried from the basement to check out his final appearance, barely managing to get the lights before he left.

The bedroom mirror once again doubled his image and he beamed. 'Sugee!' He twisted again and jogged outside. He had to show off to someone!

It didn't take long. The whole trip since he left to deliver K's message must've taken him longer than he thought, because his mother was in the yard tending to her flowers. His grandmother and Jayden were in a shaded porch swing, and his great grandfather was standing at a barbeque, poking at something he assumed was for dinner.

"Oi...minna! Hora!" He shut the patio screen door and threw his arms out. "Don't I look cool?" He gained everyone's eyes and they smiled at different degrees.

"What's with the traditional wear ototo-chan? There's no holiday for a while..."

"Magomusuko...anata wa ii mirimasu."

"Hai, hai. There a reason for it though himagomusuko?"

He grinned at the compliments and shook his head. A hand went to idly toy with his high ponytail when it swished around. "I decided to wear this to a party I'm going to and thought I should show everyone." He gave a shallow bow and opened the screen. "Arigatou." Nice to know his family hadn't laughed for what he decided to do. He jogged up the stairs and changed into normal clothes before folding everything carefully and locating a travel bag big enough to fit it all in.

He couldn't wait...this was going to be awesome! He knew he was going to knock K for a loop when he came out of a room changed and dressed like a samurai.

He heaved a sigh. Damn it...TEN DAYS!

This was going to kill him...

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Ogenki desu ka-Are you well/in good spirits/etc **(General question of health) ** Hai, ogenki desu-Yes, I'm well/fine/etc

Wakarimasu-I know** (Can be substituted for hai) **Ja ne-See you (later) Tadaima-I'm home/I'm back Okaeri-Welcome back/home

Seiji no hi-Coming of age at 20 Haori-(Sometimes formal) outer coat Tabi-split-toed socks Sugee-Wow/Awesome/Cool/etc

Hakama-Baggy pants with ties at the top and slits down the hips Fundoshi-Cloth underwear Sensu-Japanese fans that fold open/closed

Zouri-Straw sandals **(Look a lot like flip flops in design)** Wakazashi-Short sword **(Think Sango's sword) ** Jikatabi-Outdoor tabi

Juban-Worn as underwear underneath the kimono **(I'm taking this as not just technical underwear) **Geta-Wood sandals Hora-Look (at me)

Magomusuko...anata wa ii mirimasu-Grandson...you look nice Furisode-Most formal kimono for unmarried women only


	18. Ch 18

"Let's see...fundoshi, juban, kimono, hakama, hakama cardboard, tabi, zouri, wakazashi... All there."

He didn't figure he was forgetting to pack anything, as he packed his 'costume' and set the bag with everything needed right next to the chest at his bed. He did so because he was always passing by it and wouldn't forget it. As if he COULD forget what this was going to be put to use for...

He grinned as excitement hit him for the dozenth-plus time today. At least the day wound down enough to where he was finally able to use to all this adrenaline! Working at the store helped, but it seemed the time went so SLOW there!

Now it was four thirty and he was in the last few minutes of making sure everything was where he needed it so he didn't have to feel stupid at forgetting an important piece of clothing or something necessary outside the party. It wasn't like he had to be out the door in five minutes though...the party didn't start till six and it took maybe an hour tops driving time.

But that's what exhilaration did to a person.

"Okay...wallet, wallet...where'd you go..." After a quick pat-down to make sure he wasn't carrying it, as was noted by the lightness of his chain, he started searching his room. Nee-chan wouldn't have made off with it to pick on him on a day like this - she knew how much he was looking forward to tonight.

After scanning in and out of his nightstand; the dirty clothes' hamper in case he left it by accident; the walk-in closet; the covers of his bed; and the dresser, he came up empty-handed. A hand scratched the back of his head and he mentally told himself to grab a brush from the bathroom in case K had a thing about hygienics.

He heaved a sigh and headed for the kitchen. The only places any possession he briefly left lying around were his room, the basement, or the kitchen.

The second he landed on the ground step, brown spotted the black leather innocently resting on the center of the kitchen counter. He heaved a sigh and snatched it up, making sure nothing was snitched without his notice. All the money was carefully planned for what he'd need tonight, with a few extra for just-in-cases. All the plastic was where it should be and a hand went to attach it to his chain as he headed back up, wondering what else he'd need. A minute pit stop in the bathroom, and the brush was added to the pack.

The house was quiet, as it normally was. There was no breeze right now, though the entire house was opened up and aired out to appreciate the cooler weather. Most of the family split up at the store and the rest loitered around outside or puttering inside.

A hand zipped the bag closed and slung it over a shoulder. He hopped the stairs again and tried to listen for anyone. The sounds of the drier in the basement caught his attention and he decided to head there and see who all were here. Also announce that he was heading out even earlier than planned.

So he couldn't wait...so what?

"Oi...daredemo?" He called, slowly taking the wooden steps.

"Hai magomusuko?"

He smiled. "Obaasan...anyone else around?"

His grandmother stuck a graying head around a corner and he headed over so she didn't have to shout. "Your oya are at the store with Jayden. Of course, hahaue and chichiue are there as well. That jijii should be puttering around this place. If he's not inside, he's in the yard."

He smiled. His obaasan might call her husband an old man in such a rude fashion, but everyone in the family knew that was simply a pet name she had. His shoulder moved the bag higher to situate it. "Well I just thought I'd let whoever was here know I was heading out."

"Eh? It's five already?"

He sheepishly looked to the basement door. "Not exactly...but close enough." His grandmother chuckled and he looked to the floor. "But anyway...if K calls for some emergency reason or whatever...tell her I already headed out and will see her at the appointed time." It was a little strange to say that. But after giving his number, K made use of it and called a few days after receiving it to give times and costs - just like he requested. Also that they would have to use his car because Sam had work the same night.

"Ryoukai."

"Arigatou obaasan." He headed for the stairs. "Ittekimasu."

"Iterasshai. Have fun Inaki."

Feet quickly went in his sandals as he grabbed the extra car keys off their hook. The family had three cars, one for use whenever either he or Jayden needed to use it...which wasn't often. The others were shared by the three sets of parents.

The vehicle hummed to life as that enthusiastic grin popped up. He couldn't wait! Those forty-some miles were going to be the LONGEST he'd ever driven!

Maybe ten minutes after the house settled and was eerily silent, the phone shrilled to life. Yamoi Mamorah put down the shirt she was folding and bustled up the stairs for the cordless hanging in the kitchen area. She caught it on the fourth ring, wondering if it was the girl Inaki mentioned. For that reason, she answered in English instead of Japanese. "Hello?"

"Hi...is Inaki around?"

There was a moment of silence as Mamorah processed the familiar voice. "Ah, konnichi wa Blitz-ojou-san. What do I owe the pleasure of your call?"

Cameron smiled, though her face was a little pensive. "I was wondering if Inaki was on the grounds somewhere. I told him a few days ago I was going to call. I was going to see if he wanted to catch a movie, since I know he doesn't celebrate the holiday...but I haven't been able to catch him with work and all."

Mamorah's face fell a little at how down the girl sounded. Cameron was polite enough to everyone in the household, even if the girl was rather shy for her magomusuko's tastes. "I'm sorry ojou-san, you missed him by a little bit. He must've forgotten...he's been so excited this past week."

Cameron blinked. "I...wouldn't know... He's been at work a lot and we haven't been able to talk much this past week..."

Mamorah's tongue clucked in disapproval. "That boy...sometimes... He's got a one-track mind, don't you mind him ojou-san. He's been all excited and impatient for this day to come. Seems he's got some party to go to with some friend."

One of Cameron's brows ticked up uneasily. Something in her started worrying, though she forcefully kept her mind from doing so. "Oh...I didn't know there were community parties going on tonight. Did he go with one of the guys?"

"Oh no. He took the car with him. I just hope he doesn't pop a tire or break the engine. He seemed in an awful hurry to leave. Didn't say much to me about information, but I know his little friend is named K...female or male I don't know. Does that help?" There was the smallest of pauses as a thought came to Mamorah. "I hear my musume talked to the girl. Said she sounded rather polite and nice. I'm glad people like you and her are around my magomusuko."

Cameron's throat had clenched so tight with worry, it was almost hard to get words out. "Yea..." Cameron inhaled as quietly as possible to force cheerfulness. "Well, that's all I wanted to find out. Thanks Yamoi-san."

"You're welcome ojou-san. Have a good night now."

"You too." Cameron numbly hung up, feeling a mix of intense anger and panic. It was hard to choose which to grab a hold of first. The information was sketchy and she couldn't draw exact conclusions, but the grandmother gave enough that she could pick one out.

There were no parties going on here, as most of the population was Japanese and didn't celebrate the holiday. The only people who did were the remaining nationalities. If Inaki were going to one, he would've asked her to go with...he wasn't a loner like that.

Her missing out on talking and / or being with Inaki were due to his heavy work schedule, and there was now a good explanation for that detail. He worked to gain money, which she knew about, and apparently needed enough to gain in the black and get cash from the family.

His forgetfulness about her calling him would be due to OTHER plans he had going on tonight that he was, apparently, looking forward to a LOT.

Whenever Inaki took the car, he was either going to tote people with or he was intending on going out of the city. If he was by himself, he boarded it in the entire area of Andytown. Almost always.

Mamorah even mentioned K's name. She didn't have a full name, but Inaki mentioned that letter during their last fight and connected it with the same person. As if the evidence wasn't enough, she had that one concrete fact.

Inaki was going to a Halloween party with K...when he told her before he didn't intend on making a habit out of seeing her.

This was NOT good. Fists clenched in Cameron's lap as she savagely bore a hole in the carpet with her eyes. Those two emotions were mixing together and threatening to choke her.

_"She sounded rather polite and nice. I'm glad people like you and her are around my magomusuko."_

Cameron did NOT want to know anything about Inaki's 'little friend'. Despite the earlier wish to know more about aspects of his life, this girl was a threat to their relationship. Given Inaki's track record, who KNEW what could happen tonight!

One emotion forcefully shoved the other away, letting Cameron chose what she wanted to be. Panicked, or downright enraged. With a surge of adrenaline, both fists slammed on her knees as hard as she could. The pain was ignored, though it was felt.

"DAMN IT!!"

~*~*~

He had a feeling he got there in record time, if the speedometer was any indication. He was glad not to've picked up any cops. He didn't need that on his license, even though he didn't drive that much. The solar car was parked and he hurried up that to hop the porch steps. With one hand latched onto a backpack strap, the other rose and sharply rapt on the inner wood door. He tried to calm himself, but feared the ear-splitting grin gave him away.

There was a flash of something in one of the glass panels to the door before it was pulled open. "Why hello stranger! Come on in and make yourself at home. You're not going as an American-born-Japanese, are you?"

He would've grinned, but it was already wide enough. "Damn, that was my second choice." He snapped his fingers and followed Sam with his eyes as she shut and locked the door. "So, is she ready yet? I'm early, but I didn't want to wait around at home."

Sam sent a brief inquiring look his way before blue latched onto the staircase. "I dunno...I left her to change, but that was only a few seconds ago." The girl stopped at the bottom of the steps and rested a forearm on the banister. "YO CHICA...READY YET?"

His head shook in amusement. "Is that your intercom system?" He kidded, leaning against a wall opposite the stairs.

Sam sent a wry look and winked. "No, it gives me practice for when I want to go off on her over something later."

He chuckled and cast an absent look into the kitchen and the entry area that held the stairs. This place was something else and not just because it housed two HIGHLY interesting girls. He didn't know many people who had a home with two living rooms. Even though the two rented this place, the construction was something else.

This place was old. If he remembered correctly from K's letters; the place had to be sixty or seventy years, maybe more. It was amazing the city hadn't chopped it down for something more modern a long time ago. But the age led to its history and uniqueness as far as the construction went.

He was given a brief tour when they came back from lunch on K's birthday, but he didn't have much time - like now - to dwell on here.

Brown took in the white, decorative pillars next to him that enshrouded the closest living room. That room was empty, as the two said they only needed to use one and it was just extra space. Sheesh...if he had a room like this to do whatever he wanted, he would've made a small boarding ramp here! Regardless of the carpet that was everywhere but the kitchen and bathrooms. He grinned and swung his gaze to aforementioned room. The kitchen was simple, a combination of kitchen and dining room.

His back slid across the wall as he ignored Sam's second yell over Kalie's progress and turned around a narrow archway leading into the second living room.

He liked this part, mostly because there was a fireplace resting at the far wall. That showed exactly how old the place was, as barely ANY houses had that kind of contraption! They were more apt to have a massive air conditioning system than something for heat. And by the looks of the chair sitting in front of it, he had a feeling it got used zilch.

Besides the dual living rooms and fireplace, two more definite features of this immediate area were the small, half bath with swinging door next to the fireplace...and sliding wood doors that diving both rooms. They kinda reminded him of home. He stared at the closed doors. There was a lot of wood trim in this house, that was for sure! From the doors, to the decorated banister leading upstairs, to the trim on the floor.

The upstairs wasn't as interesting as the ground, unless you counted the size of the storage closet and full bathroom across the hall from the bedrooms. That and the strange design of the closets that weren't really closets. They were built away from the walls, which told him any people who first lived in this house put their things away in dressers.

Carpeted footsteps met his ears in the silence and his gaze swung to the narrow archway. "Yo...I've got my clothes I can change into. I just wanted to see what you were wearing before I -"

There was no idea what the girl would be wearing, so he had no clue what to guess at. But he got a good one when she passed that same archway and stopped a few foot into the room. He almost wondered if his eyes would pop out of his head.

"So...like? Sam forced me to wear it, in case you don't like it."

He missed the chance to smile at that, too busy blinking in shock at her appearance.

The tightest, most low-cut pair of pants he'd ever SEEN had to be in this very room...smiley faces grinning back on sewn on patches. How did she get those ON? Stitch the pieces together around her legs??

Multi-colored bracelets adorned both arms by the dozens and a few gaudy necklaces rested on her neck. A large pendant stopped mid-chest, inadvertently drawing his eye to that...and the shirt that could be called indecent.

It was some kind of tank top, but it was too tight and he knew she didn't own anything like that. The straps were thin; the neckline slightly modest, though the bottom stopped around her sternum; and the only thing covering her stomach was the massive amount of long, dangling fringe that stopped at her lap...large beads clacking together when she moved. To top off the overall amaze...the color of that bizarre article was yellow. He assumed that was ok...given the yellow and pink flower and black peace sign painted on her cheeks.

He blinked when he took in her face. Other than cheeks, she wore no makeup. The back of her hair was held back by a wide headband. The final touch was silver-framed, pink-tinted glasses perched on her nose.

He blinked and tried to remember whether or not he was staring to stare, or looking for a purpose. Had K asked a question, or was she letting him look for the hell of it?

He knew she was too shy to do THAT...so she must've asked him about something.

"That outfit...is..." Brown looked at the jeans and top - if it could be called that, as it covered VERY little - and mentally slapped himself. "Well..."

Kalie's hands rose and twisted together in a fidget, giving him a glimpse of multi-colored nails. Those two went all out, didn't they??

"It's flashy, I know. Sam wanted me to go wild this year." Deep green rolled with a small blush. "I want to change my shirt! If you could call it this..." A hand picked up one of the fringe and stared at it.

He finally snapped to when she did that. "No, it's not bad... You...well... You look -" A hand almost nonchalantly covered his mouth, when he did it to keep from voicing what he guessed would get him in trouble on more than one level.

Hot. Gods but K looked HOT! Where was she hiding a body like that?? It was a good thing that fringe hid her stomach rather well, or he had a feeling he would either be looking at that, her chest, or her legs.

He mentally slapped himself again and forcefully resisted the urge to do it for real.

"It's interesting to say the least." He finally answered, giving a smile to put that comment just above neutral ground. Being a guy REALLY sucked sometimes... "What're you supposed to be now?"

Kalie smirked and held up two fingers in a peace sign. "A hippie. 'Make love, not war' and all that jazz, man. Down with 'the man'." He chuckled at her expression. The words were totally unfamiliar, but the way she said them... Sam had to've put her up to that.

A hand went for the bag resting on the couch. "Well, now that I've looked, it's my turn to surprise you." A thumb jerked over a shoulder. "Mind if I..."

Dark brown shook. "Go ahead. I'll be upstairs in case I missed something. Just head up when you get done and take all the time you need. We've got plenty."

After Inaki disappeared into the small bathroom, she turned and jumped at finding Sam's head resting against part of the archway. Like she was trying to spy and not be caught. Dark green glared as she marched over barefoot, toenails matching fingernails. "How long have you been there??" She hissed.

Sam's grin couldn't have gotten anymore wicked. A giggle worked its way free. "Enough to catch the look on his face...so I'd say I watched the whole damn thing." Sam winked. "You go girl. Female power and all that crap."

A flush worked its way up as she resisted the urge to yank on the hair falling over Sam's shoulder. "No-vi-a!" She hissed, tapping Sam's forehead. "Get it through that thick head of yours!!"

Sam leaned back and walked into the hallway for the stairs. She followed, since she wasn't totally finished anyway. "I can't wait to see what he comes out in. Whatever it is, baggy or tight clothes, is going to be DAMN fine on that man!"

A hand slapped her forehead, thankfully muffled by her bangs. "Don't make me get a leash and collar out...though I'd be scared if you actually had both."

"No leash, but I can always use that wallet chain he's got..."

"Too much information!"

The two entered her room and went to the desk. This was probably the only time her books and study materials weren't littering the surface. In its place were makeup, jewelry, and miscellaneous items that finished off this monstrosity. It looked too feminine to be a part of her room.

Sam's gaze took in the surface as she checked everything out. "Okay...what else do we need that we haven't got on you?" A hand picked up mascara and turned. "Don't move and say 'ah'."

Ignoring her friend's humor, she looked away as Sam expertly fixed what little makeup was needed. With all the paint on her though, not much else could be added without looking overdone.

After running the eyelash brush to get any goop out, Sam looked to the desk again and picked up one of her rings. "Wear this. You needed a ring to accent your hands."

She took it, but looked rather put out. "Like the bracelets don't do ENOUGH of a job..." One hand moved, and plastic jangling sounded.

There was another moment of silence as she patronizingly stood, twirled, and let Sam's critical, artistic eye work her over. "I think you're set to go. Your black sandals should be ok with that."

"I'd wear them even if you told me I couldn't." She mumbled, heading for the door. Inaki would just have to meet up downstairs whenever he finished.

There was a spark of anticipation and adrenaline as a finger slipped the strap over a heel. She couldn't wait...she was looking forward to the party, a fast bite to eat, and whatever costume Inaki had on. His little hints - though he didn't give away EXACTLY what he was wearing - had her interest massively peeked. Anything to deal with her major got her curiosity spiked.

The quiet swinging of the bathroom door sounded and she gave Inaki a second to cross the area as she put on the other sandal. "Ready to go now? I didn't have much for lunch, so we can go get food now if -" The words died as her face went slack.

An utter transformation occurred in that bathroom! There was some type of time portal in the sink or the back of the toilet to put the man she was seeing in front of her! There were no more wife beaters, loose t-shirts, or baggy shorts. There was barely a bit of exposed flesh...unless you count that DAMN enticing slit down the center of his chest.

Green quickly and firmly locked on his face to keep from blushing worse than she was now.

There was another shock when she took in his hair. The braid it'd been in was gone, replaced with a high ponytail...that looked RATHER nice on him regardless. She was starting to see just WHY he said he looked good with long hair...

Finally, Inaki broke the spell with a grin and a turn. "Well? What'd you think? I knew you'd appreciate the style...it's around two hundred years old..."

Her brows shot up. She looked over every inch, seeing the footwear as well. This guy loved to go all out about as much as SHE did to these things.

Finally, knowing he wanted something from her, she remembered she owned a tongue. "Nice...costume..." She stuttered, harshly swallowing. The clothes make the man, huh? What she wouldn't have given to see him in something even fancier! No wait, better not...she'd be even worse off than she was NOW!

'No thoughts like that!! No, nonoNO! DOWN girl...'

"It's not a costume." He answered, heading forward. The empty bag dropped to the floor next to a pillar. "I wear these clothes on holidays."

She was impressed. A smile formed. "That's cool. Uh, sorry...GROOVY baby." They shared a dry grin. "Seriously, that is AWESOME." Both arms crossed as her upper back leaned against the wall. "To still hold such traditions...your town must be something."

He nodded and started looking to a rather flat, slightly toned stomach as the fringe fell aside with gravity, but forced brown to the door. "Well...shall we? You said you hadn't eaten much yet... That's more than I had, so we'll pick something up as we go."

Green was having a hard time keeping off that exposed chest skin, or the back of his neck. She didn't know he had such a...nice neck before... That ponytail wasn't helping any!!

Sam leaned against the banister on her arms, an evil and conspiratory look. Her earlier assumption about Inaki and his costume surpassed her expectations! What she wouldn't give to trade her DNA to be her best friend right then. Sam's gaze drifted to the colored outfit, since the boy's back was to her. Light blue had a nice view of his backside in those strange pants, and she wanted to grin like a schoolgirl. What she wouldn't give to bow before God in utter thanks at creating such a man!

"Have fun you two." She called, voice oozing mischievousness. "Go wild and crazy. You won't be able to do something like this every day."

Dry green locked with blue. A dark brow rose as she saw what kind of smile Sam had on. A glare formed. "We'll be fine." She grit out, hand tight on the doorknob. "YOU just worry about that art project of yours! And you'd better work hard on it after that talk we had, or I'm not telling you what'll go on tonight." She closed the door as Sam started whining - literally - and hurried past Inaki down the steps.

He blinked, but hopped the steps and made for the car. "Did I miss something here?"

She couldn't help the tiny sigh that escaped, but smiled for his benefit. "You don't wanna know...really, you DON'T wanna know." Her head shook as they started down the street.

~*~*~

"You should've let ME get the food, even if you insisted on paying for it."

He dropped the full tray on their table with a clack. A sour look was on his face. "That bakaro..." He muttered, plopping in the booth.

She giggled and took her set of fries. "Your fault. You just look so authentic in that, it's unbelievable."

"Yea well, I do NOT appreciate being talked to like that." Dark brown glared across the building to the front counter at the cashier. "Convincing or not...you'd think those twits never saw Japanese clothing."

She tried not to laugh. A hand waved as he went for a burger. "I feel for you, really I do." She gained a dry look and smirked. "Okay maybe I'll never have to be in that kind of position unless I travel to another country." Inaki grunted. "But at least you know now you'll have no problem with that contest..."

After swallowing a huge bite, mostly to keep him from saying anything back, he put the burger down and feigned a stupid look and more ancestral voice tone. "Oh yes sir...me speak good engurish...me understand you." The look dropped as irritation flared. "Narrow-minded, stupid, prejudice, BASTARDS. You'd think they'd never seen an oriental person in their LIVES."

She felt a little sorry for him, knowing he didn't like prejudice people and was doing his best to tolerate this for her. The purposely slow-talking cashier had to grate on his nerves a LOT. "Don't let them get to you..." She gently coaxed, trying to offer comfort but still trying not to laugh.

He grunted and went back to eating, sneaking a few looks at her. "I could say the same for you."

The hand holding a burger halted inches from her mouth. "What do you mean?" Thankful she wasn't wearing lipstick, she attacked it.

He looked up, a little disbelieving. "You mean you didn't see those people behind the counter?" Maybe it was because he was a guy and he knew how guys thought...but he knew the male workers of this joint were eyeing K with a look of mixed shock and MAJOR appreciation.

He didn't know whether to be irritated, or boastful.

But the girl's lost look told him she was more clueless than she looked. He didn't think she was totally shy to mature matters of the world - though she still didn't give away her past - but right now, he'd have to second guess that. "You didn't see those guys..." He slowly answered. "Those MEN working behind the counter..." The lost look was still there. "Those guys who were checking you out in that thing!"

A bell must've rung, a light turned on, a clue given. Green widened a little in doubt and he didn't know who he wanted to slap upside the head, him or her. "No way...they were looking at me?? This thing is gaudy beyond belief...even for a Halloween costume! I'm sure they were just trying to figure out what I was wearing...or that I was wearing this at all." She grinned. "Not too often you see people wearing stuff of the past in a fast food joint."

Oh yes, he knew who he wanted to slap now...that would be HER. Was she so blind to her looks and rather NICE shape of body she possessed?? She didn't seem like the type to be that withdrawn from the world that she was immune to men and dating and - shit - sex ed!

"You've GOT to be kidding me." He mumbled, trying to get the look of shock off his face. "Gaudy or not, if Sam put you up to wearing THAT...she knew what she was doing." He smirked. "Sly she-devil."

A heady blush met him as green looked to the plastic surface. "Um...okay. I think we should eat before everything gets cold. Cold fries are nasty."

He wanted to grin. He knew right then and there that part of his time tonight would be to figure out more of the girl. The letters were barely an indication, even if they shaped the world around her, but they didn't help him figure out HER. Sam was no help, unless it was finding ways to get them together. Brown watched her as she ate, forgetting about his food. It wouldn't be hard to see how she acted, as he'd be with her the whole night. And her excitement about going to this party meant there was a hidden aspect she rarely let out.

He couldn't wait to see what that was.

"Are you ok?"

He jumped at looked away when green met his eyes. "Yea...just lost in thought. Sorry." He felt a little embarrassed at being caught, but went for his food to hurry up.

~*~*~

"This is gonna be so great! God, I can't wait to get in there!"

"So you keep telling me." He kidded, locking the car.

"Well come on! Hurry up - there's already a line!"

"Hey! Slow down, the party's not GOING anywhere." He called, jogging after. He was right about the whole hidden aspect thing. The closer they got to the college, the more excited and fidgety K got. The directions she gave were more choppy and happy, as indicated by the grin on her face.

They stopped amongst a crowd of young people, all wearing costumes, and he looked at everyone. Then, dual, shrill screams jolted his attention and his head whipped around. He breathed a sigh of relief and brown rolled at K hugging a friend a few feet from him. He walked over.

"Oh my god, you look cool! I can't believe you decided to wear something like that! What are you??"

"A hippie. 'Make love not war man'." That peace sign went up, but this time there was only happiness on her face. "You look adorable too! I can't believe I'm looking at you! Where did those jeans go??"

"I could say the same for those baggy clothes you always wear." A finger shot out and wrapped around a fringe. "Sam is a genius!"

"I'm not telling her that or she'll have me in stuff like this ALL the time." A sarcastic grin popped up.

"But you look good enough for it...why not? I'm sure you could get guys lining up to ask you out if you did!"

She gave a dry look. "Why do you think I DON'T? Oh yea, speaking of which, where's - oh, there you are."

"Oh, here I am." He echoed, smirking. "You going to explain what the screaming was about? You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Niiicceee costume."

"DOWN Chance, he's got a girlfriend."

"I'm entitled to look...you lucky little shit."

"And I don't mean ME!" She added, feeling like blushing - AGAIN. A hand swept to Inaki. "Chance, this is Yamoi Inaki. Last name first, first name last."

"Just call me Inaki..." He mused, rolling his eyes. His hand stuck out for Chance's to shake.

"Still, you look...RATHER good in that. Where'd you find such interesting threads?"

He smirked and let himself be checked out; as he had a feeling it was going to be the norm. "From my closet."

"Anyway...let's get going shall we? The line's moving without us." Her arm tugged him forward, but his longer legs kept him from getting behind. "So where's your date tonight Chance?"

"Oh she's around here somewhere..."

He blinked. "You brought a GIRL as your date?" A dozen images suddenly ran through his head...none of them virginal.

Chance speared him a suspicious, slightly irate look when she turned to them. "Yes, I brought my girlfriend to the dance. You got a problem with that??" She threw out, brow rising in challenge.

Those images kept coming and a few of them brought K along for the ride. K dancing with Chance in EXTREMELY tight clothes...

His head shook - partially to dislodge those tempting images and to calm the girl - and his throat cleared uncomfortably. "No! No...it's no big deal. I have no right to be prejudice." He gained that sour look again from earlier. "Though I feel for you. I was talked to like I didn't even know the English language about an hour ago." He sent a small glare at K who started laughing again.

"Sorry, sorry..." She mused, fingers over her mouth.

He looked back with a friendly smile. "You just caught me off-guard. I didn't know any lesbians until now."

"I'm bi." Chance answered, winking. Her gaze checked him out again. "But I'm faithful so don't worry...I won't hit on either of you." A thumb jerked to his companion. "I learned that with her in the beginning." An evil smirk appeared. "She does the cutest blushes though, doesn't she?"

K promptly blushed and looked to the ground, gaining both sets of eyes. "Will you stop that??" She whined, resisting the urge to put hands over her cheeks. Ruining the paint was not a good idea before the contest.

He grinned, but felt a little strange talking to a girl who just complimented a girl. "I plead the fifth." He mused, resisting the urge to laugh at K's discomfort.

After maybe ten minutes of waiting, they were let in to a rather full room. It was immense, but he knew a lot of the college and their friends turned up for this. This was going to rock! He scanned the area before being pulled in one direction. He was unable to get any words out before he spotted a line of people in costumes as good as his and knew this was the contest line.

"We'll sign up, get ourselves judged over by a few of the staff running this thing, and then the finalists get judged by the crowd."

Mentally, his fingers crossed. He'd do whatever it took to win first place. His competitive spirit was rising up and mixing with the fun of just being here.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Daredemo-Anyone/Anybody Hahaue-Mother** (Polite) **Chichiue-Father** (Polite) **Ryoukai-Roger


	19. Ch 19

His body was sluggish as something outside his mind pricked awareness. Light shone in through the backs of his eyelids, but only for a brief moment until a muted swish and ruffling sounded and the light dimmed. The irritation at having light in his eyes faded and he contentedly started slipping back into sleep. At least, until something draped over him. An arm shifted, but a soothing, shushing noise told him whatever covered him wasn't a threat and his face snuggled against the pillow.

"We'd better get going..." A voice whispered.

"I know...I just didn't want him to be cold..."

He heard the voices, but paid them little heed. Why was his head foggier than normal? Eh...he was too worn out and tired still to care much.

"So peaceful when he sleeps...looks so different."

Something touched his skin and his eyes fluttered at the unexpected contact, but he remained limp in response. It was rather delicate and slow...moving some of his bangs out of his eyes. His lips tilted the barest degrees in thanks before his features relaxed again.

"Come on...we REALLY have to be going... You can watch him later."

It was abruptly removed and the tingling feeling in his head was sorely missed. That felt good and he liked it. But the darkness loomed again and he ignored the rest of the words...barely heard muffled footsteps and quiet voices. Only when a door clicked as softly as possible somewhere did he register that those around him were gone.

Then he was out like a light again.

-----

It seemed forever until he regained any kind of wakefulness. He was content to lie on the ruffled, lumpy mattress that seemed to make him lean the way he was facing. Only when his eyes inched open a crack and stare at something almost touching his nose did he wonder where he was. Seeing something that close to his face brought a startled yelp and he pushed against it reflexively...and flopping hard on his back with another cry. Then he was staring at a tall, white ceiling - not of his room - in sleepy bemusement.

Where the hell WAS he??

Letting the ache in his back settle, his eyes took in a piece of furniture right over his head and found himself looking at a coffee table. Boy was he lucky he didn't land on THAT instead of carpet. Brown looked over even farther, seeing a simple entertainment system against the far wall...right in front of tightly closed curtains. He blinked at seeing a couple of towels pinned to the curtain rod. What was that for?

Eyes looked to the ceiling again as he checked on his back. It felt better and he slowly sat up, stretching and yawning as he looked around. One look at a different level brought it all back and he snapped to reality.

"Oh yea...I crashed at K's..." He mumbled, wrinkling his nose. "Gods I wish I would've packed my toothbrush."

There was another heady stretch when he stood. A hand scratched his head and realized it was wild. Brown went to a wrist upon feeling something touch it and found his hair tie. He removed it and put his hair in a loose ponytail for now as he headed for the narrow archway. His foot touched something not of carpet and brown looked down, blinking yet again. It was a blanket.

A small, sleepy smile appeared as he reached down and folded it as best as possible. One of them - he was betting on K - must've covered him up when he was asleep.

The blanket was draped in a recliner next to the archway as he headed for the kitchen. The house was eerily silent, so he was equally quiet - almost to the point of sneakiness - in his search for a glass. He leaned against the counter, taking a long gulp. His eyes spied the clock on the stove and they widened a little.

Holy hell...it was almost eleven thirty already! Had he been asleep that long??

He set the empty glass in the sink and rubbed his head in confusion. He never slept that late! Not NORMALLY anyway. Brown closed in thought as he tried to pick up everything and make sense of it all.

_Hot temperatures, even with multiple doors open for air..._

_Applause and the exulted feeling of winning. A beaming smile met him in return in congratulations on his win..._

_Tightly packed dance space. Grinding bodies - male and female alike..._

_Chance and K...dancing together..._

_Images in his head popped up..._

_The burning slide of alcohol to take the edge off his emotions... Once, twice...then a little later...a third time..._

Brown shot open and looked to his body. His samurai 'costume' still adorned his body and a hand slipped through a wide sleeve as he rummaged in a pocket for his wallet. Opening it found a crisp twenty and a five. He grinned and put it back. He won first place in the solitary costume contest last night.

Except the images Chance gave didn't help and his other brain got a little too enthusiastic at some point during their dancing. He thought alcohol would take the edge off his nerves... He groaned and thumped his head against the cupboard behind him. "Oh gods...I hope I didn't make a complete baka out of myself!"

But it would accompany for why his mind was a little fuzzy...even with sleep. He knew he would remember a little more when it cleared, but right now, he was still foggy. He heaved a sigh and shook his head. No good to think about things like that. All he could do was hope he didn't crash the car if the drinks hadn't worn off...and most of all, did something involving one of the girls last night that totally screwed him over!

Oh well...nothing he could do about it now...

He moved to his bag, taking his hair out of its ponytail. He needed a shower. His mind wondered as he kneeled and snatched it into the air. He wondered if they'd mind. He could get a quick one before they came back from the hotel and pray they didn't think he was taking advantage of their hospitality. He could only hope they didn't think that...because he had to change at least...and that shower DID sound rather nice...

Mind made up, he hopped the stairs for the bathroom.

~*~*~

"We're back! You still asleep?"

"He won't be NOW Sam."

Sam grinned and kicked her shoes off. "I dunno...it's too quiet in here."

"Besides your yelling, you mean?" She retorted, grinning.

Sam's tongue stuck out before the girl went for the stairs. "Hey...come out come out where you are..."

She giggled and checked the living room. She tried to stay as quiet as possible, not wanting to deny him sleep...as they returned rather late - or early for one a.m.... - last night. She knew SHE was still tired...five hours did not cover what she normally got.

The tender smile that crept up in expectance to see his peaceful form dropped in surprise. The couch was empty and the blanket was in the recliner across from it. She blinked. "What -" Inaki's car was still here...so where was -

"AH!"

Green shot to the top of the ceiling, brow furrowing, before she rocketed it to the stairs.

"Sam...what's -" Her mouth dropped open and she nearly fell in haste to stop on the carpet at the sight before her.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to startle you Sam...but you guys yelled and I wanted to make sure you knew I was still here. I...I hope you two don't mind... I needed a shower. Don't worry - you don't have to worry about cooties or anything."

"Oh BELIEVE me...I'm not mad, angry, upset, OR worried about cooties. Quite the opposite actually... Thank you for your speed though..."

She should've decked the girl, or at least snapped something, for that comment. But her body wasn't working, and her mouth wouldn't close for the life of her.

Inaki was...oh god...standing in the bathroom doorway...his hair unbound and damp around his shoulders...and IN A TOWEL. HER towel!! Her body seemed to numb as green couldn't take away from the delicious sight in front of her. She suddenly realized if that towel dropped they'd be seeing more of him than he ever intended. 'No no....NONONO, oh MAN no!' But her mind's ordering wasn't doing any good to the wondering and images cropping up. Her heart couldn't have beat any faster if she tried to make it, and it seemed like breathing wasn't a necessity anymore...

That chest of his...and she thought the slit from the old-fashioned clothes was bad enough! Now she had a full view of a rather nicely toned chest, stomach, arms, legs that didn't hide in the towel... Some emotion - one she thought was buried deep - slugged her VERY low in the stomach. She cleared her throat rather nervously and looked to the carpet.

Sam couldn't be anymore pleased. Blue looked less shamefully than her friend, mind currently offering every bit of praise to God in both English AND Spanish.

Finally, Inaki's arms crossed as he pushed off the doorway with his shoulder and took a step back. "Ah...yea. Sorry about that."

Sam's grin widened as she continued to check him out. "That is NO problem whatsoever! But I would just like to say thank you. I have never been more awake in my entire life. Fuck coffee!"

A small flush rose, but brown rolled as he turned and shut the door behind him.

Sam finally snapped to attention and pouted. A quick turn found her friend right behind her and she took in the girl's face. "Oh man...if I had a statue of Christ in my room I would be hurrying in to bow in thanks right now!" Sam hissed, a dreamy sigh escaping.

She blinked, trying to get brain and mouth to work. "Oh God...I hope he doesn't think us a couple of perverts now." She quietly groaned, heading into her room.

"Hell, I could care less if he DID. That just allows me to keep that mental image the rest of my LIFE now." Sam followed the girl in and flopped down on the bed as she went to her closet. An arm slung over her face. "Fate is so, SO cruel! His girlfriend is one lucky duck. What I wouldn't give to take a bite outa THAT."

"SAM!" She shrilled, trying not to flush. A few of the wonderings crossed her mind, and having them brought back up didn't help any! Hands went to her hips, finding a rather smug look on her friend's face and she glared. "Will you get out so I can change? Sheesh... where's your Ritalin when I need it??"

Sam's tongue stuck out again, but she left to change as well, giving her some quiet time.

In mere minutes, she was in comfortable house clothes and opened the door. Sam's was still closed, but the bathroom door was open and teeth bit her lip. There was something burning in her mind - but NOT Inaki's body! - that she wanted to ask. If the door was open, that meant he had to've been dressed... She stopped outside the doorway, only able to see to the closet and edge of the window. "Inaki? You descent?"

His head poked into view, a small look of embarrassment staring at her. "Yea...sorry about that. I didn't mean to step out and rile you two up...and I hope you really didn't mind me getting a shower... I wasn't trying to take advantage of you two or anything..."

Taking advantage of? The naughty thoughts returned again and that same emotion hit her below the beltline and she almost bent over from it. But she remembered he was waiting for her to say something and tried to get her brain to work. "It's fine..." Her eyes widened and hands rose to shake between them. "I - uh - I mean, it's okay - I mean - no problem - I mean, I mean it's-"

His smile cut off her ramblings. "I get it." He soothed, hands moving to the back of his head. He turned from the mirror and leaned against the sink as a tight braid started forming.

She watched dumbly as his hands worked. His fingers were nimble, even as his arms stretched to get the little bit around his shoulder blades. He braided it until there was nothing left and put the tie on it. She couldn't get additional images to stop cropping up in her head! The way his hands and fingers twisted...those lithe, long fingers -

She mentally, and HARSHLY, slapped herself.

She was reminded she actually wanted to approach him for a reason. "I didn't know you had a tattoo..."

Brown looked to her as his brush went in his bag. A friendly look was on his face. "You never asked."

She scowled, trying not to smile at the gleam in his eye. Finally...friendly banter. At least THIS was something she was comfortable with! "How was **I **supposed to know? You don't seem like the type to do anything wild like that."

Brows disappeared into unruly bangs as he straightened and set his bag on the sink. All clothes were exchanged to his normal, his other carefully folded as before. Inaki took a few steps to her and leaned down to her face. "I don't seem like the wild type to you?" He lowly asked, that grin turning his charming.

Green widened a little as a blush sprouted. She inched back a bit, swallowing. "I - uh..."

He smirked and straightened. "I'm just playing with you." Hands hovered over the bottom buttons of his button-up shirt. "You wanna see? I've got a wife beater under this."

Which, in no certain way, would hide her eyes from his body! She was only curious about it, having seen a glimpse of white on his right shoulder, and wondered. But since the offer was out there, at least she didn't have to ASK now. "S - sure..."

He turned and unbuttoned the few to slide the shirt to his elbows. The white undershirt curved enough in the center of his back to allow her to see a palm-sized swath of black and skin. Curious, she stepped closer. It was a circle of a yin-yang...two symbols in place of the dots. There was no black to offset the white, only normal flesh tone.

Her brow furrowed. "What do the symbols stand for?" A finger rose of its own violation and hesitantly hovered for a second before gingerly touching the white half.

That small touch sent a tingle from his skin to his spine. It radiated up his neck and reminded him of the few times he managed to coax her into a slow dance...and only by promising to keep his hands to himself and stand at a friendly distance. He blinked as that memory surfaced. But it was overridden by feeling the wisp of warm breath on his skin and his heart beat a little faster... "Chikyuu..." He mumbled, eyes sliding closed. "Earth."

It was a simple statement to his testament of his love for nature. A gentle smile appeared as her nail ran over the lower symbol. This was part of the language he mentioned in his letters that he was trying to learn. She didn't know which half meant what, but the design was complex and interesting to look at. For some reason...these symbols reminded her of the man in front of her.

Green suddenly snapped open at her thoughts, heart picking up pace. What was she doing?! A small gasp sounded when her breath caught. She could feel another blush heat her face...which didn't help because, for some reason, her body seemed pretty warm already...

That whisper of noise brought his attention back. It clawed through the fog of her touch and his eyes fluttered open. Slowly, his head inched to the right, meeting hers with half-open eyes. "K?"

Breathing through her nose seemed like she wasn't bringing enough air in and her mouth opened to drag in gulps of air. Why was her hand shaking? No...why was her BODY shaking?? She didn't UNDERSTAND this. That look he gave...it looked so...so SEXY...

Her body realized just how close she was standing - mere inches away in fact - and her hand slapped her chest in haste to snatch it off his skin. She got too caught up in his tattoo...she wasn't paying attention... Oh, who was she kidding?? She got caught up in the fact that Inaki was standing with one of his shirts half off and she could still see those back muscles through white fabric!

GOD but he had nice arms! Not too built, but the muscle tone was there... Same for his shoulders and the incline of his back...turning just enough to give him a definition of a waist...

Her earlier assessment about the speed of her heart was wrong as it thundered even faster than seeing Inaki in a towel. She tried to swallow and found her throat dry. The adrenaline rushed with each beat...getting a slight roaring in her ears. And that same emotion low in her stomach was back with a vengeance. It weakened her knees and made standing rather hard all of a sudden...

An image flew to her mind - amazingly chaste - of her knees giving out and Inaki twirling around to catch her...shirt still around his elbows. Those nimble fingers would latch onto her arms tightly, worry in his eyes if she was okay. She would look at him with that flush on her face, eyes innocently wide...and he would be compelled to pull her to his chest, arms going around her as if hesitant to touch her -

Her eyes squeezed shut as she mentally berated herself. Foolish! That would NEVER happen! Even if it was romantic and she hadn't been held since before she turned eighteen...

"K...what is it?" Inaki slowly turned, heart still thundering in his chest. There was a little bit of confusion at the scrunched up look around her eyes, as though she were waiting for someone to hit her.

Green fluttered open, hearing wonder and concern in his tone. She looked at him again, finding him facing her...and had to fight to keep her eyes from roaming his body.

The bubble popped when a shrill ring floated up the steps from the kitchen. Both startled, her more than Inaki, and she jumped back a step. The hand at her chest flattened as she tried to get a different type of adrenaline to settle down, along with the jump of her heart.

It was picked up on the second ring and she wondered when Sam went downstairs, as neither had phones in their rooms. "Yo Inaki! Phone's for you!"

Both blinked in confusion and looked to the doorway. Green met brown, but he merely shrugged and went for his bag. She used those precious seconds to escape and made a beeline for her room, trying not to slam the door with shaking hands. She had to get away...if only to collect her thoughts and banish them to the recesses of her mind.

Brown stared in helpless confusion as the door clicked shut. He didn't understand why she ran. Okay maybe he DID. If the look on her face was any indication to what she felt, then she had to've been feeling exactly as HE did...

"Inaki?"

He startled again and exited the bathroom. It would do him no good to dwell on THOSE thoughts. With every step he took to the ground floor, he used that as a step in his mind to push the situation away and lock it up again.

"Yea sorry." He answered, smiling as if nothing intense happened minutes ago.

"She said to say she was your sister."

Black furrowed as a hand reached out and took the phone. "Moshi moshi." He answered, dialect slipping. "Nee-chan?"

"Ototo - you'd better get back here!"

Brown blinked at Jayden's tone. It sounded a little panicked, but also irritated. "Naze? Doushita?"

The sigh on the other line didn't tell him anything. Finding the phone was a cordless, he headed for the stairs and sat on the first half. "You will NOT believe what happened this morning!" Jayden started, voice frustrated. "Cameron came over around nine - when everyone was finishing up breakfast even! - and started raising hell!"

His eyes closed and he sighed. A hand went to his face and covered his eyes as he leaned on it with help from a knee. "She's ALWAYS raising hell...why is THAT any different? Is that what you called me for?"

"I don't mean just any hell. She was PISSED...I mean fire-breathing, smoke-from-the-ears pissed! She said that she - as she put it - 'found out about your little date'. I knew about your party last night, but you didn't tell the rest of the family you were going with a friend did you?"

Teeth clenched as that familiar irritation boiled. Everything and everyone in his surroundings was forgotten as the same situation rose again. "They knew I was going to that party with K. They know she's a friend. So does SHE." Fingers slitted as brown slanted a fierce glare to the carpet. "Or so I've keep TELLING her." He growled. "She knows there's nothing to worry about there...but you said she stopped by..." Another sigh appeared. "Oh gods... Did she say anything ELSE?"

Jayden didn't miss the weary tinge to his voice. It made her feel a little bad at the brewing storm that erupted hours ago. Jayden had a feeling that edge of the storm she saw was the tip of the iceberg. "She said she found out from obaasan when she called. Said something about calling for a movie? And obaasan said you just left. Cam didn't sound happy..."

Irritation raised another notch. "She never DOES - she never IS. Chikushou! Why can't she UNDERSTAND?" His mouth pressed into a thin line as he tried to breathe. "Okay...I'll come back now. She's going to return later, isn't she?"

Jayden blinked and stared at the phone for a second. "...How did you know?"

"Cameron o wakarimasu. Once she gets in a foul mood, there's no way to get out of it until I try to talk to her." Or more like FIGHT with her... "Who's all at home?"

"Me and oya. The others are at the store right now. Okaasan and I will go over in a little bit to bring everyone lunch." Jayden's brow furrowed as worry over Inaki and Cam flared. She was always worried whenever her ototo had to 'talk' to his so-called girlfriend. "Are you sure you should come back NOW?"

He stood and started pacing the area around the stairs. "I don't have a choice, do I? I have a feeling if I DON'T, that onna will try to track me down in Miami to bitch me out." A hand racked through his hair, gripping in welcomed pain. "There's nothing I can do to hide or stop this. It always comes to bite me in the ass in the end, so I might as well get it over with."

There was a tense pause of silence on both ends. "Gomen nasai ototo. I'm sure the fun you had last night is ruined...isn't it?"

The step he was going to take abruptly stopped and his head bowed. "Iie nee-chan. Anata no kashitsu wa arimasen... It's mine."

"Ototo..."

"I'll be back within the hour. If Cam returns, tell her I'm coming and to wait for me in the dojo. I don't wanna get into it at the house with people in it." He cut off, anger rising further.

"...H - hai. Ryoukai..."

The phone shut off with a beep.

Never in his life did he want to hit something so badly! A hand clutched the phone with want to break it...then he remembered where he was. His jaw clenched in attempt to tamp down his anger. He did NOT want to let go in front of the girls. Not Sam and DEFINITELY not K!

The house was quiet though, like everything was listening. He assumed his voice got a little loud at times, so it was a possibility the two hadn't been able to turn a deaf ear. After a deep breath, he whirled and strode back to the kitchen. He hung the phone up and snatched his bag off the table.

Sam's head stuck out from the fridge door that hid most of her body. Those blue eyes were serious, face void of expression. "Leaving I take it?"

Being so close had to've given the girl an ear to his entire conversation, but he didn't hold it against her. He gave a sharp nod, setting the bag on a shoulder. The hand holding the straps held them in a death grip.

"Well...you should come down again sometime. You'd be welcome whenever we have free time."

The invite gained a small, grateful smile and he gave a softer nod. "Accepted, and we'll have to plan around that sometime... But now I should get going..."

Sam gave a tiny nod and stood. "Congratulations on your win. I hear you placed first."

The night of fun now seemed like the ending of a bitter romance. The sour emotion stung in the chest at what awaited him at home and he wondered if it would've happened if he came at all...then quickly discarded the thought. He went to a party upon invite with a FRIEND. Why was Cam getting so bent out of shape on that aspect?? Couldn't she see whom he was DATING here?!

He nodded again and turned for the door.

He was given a start at finding K leaning against the wall to the bottom half of the stairs.

A thick swallow bobbed his throat as he stared, face the only thing turned to her. Hands were hidden by her back, and those thick bangs shaded some of her eyes. The only way he was able to see the shunted emotions on her pensive face was the lower position. She seemed a little sad, but he could understand...given the situation in the bathroom. Whatever happened between them, she might've taken the wrong way...and then reminded he had a girlfriend.

Again.

That fist tightened even more, but for different reasons. He felt like a schmuck, just like last time this same thing arose, and wanted to apologize.

"You're heading out I hear..."

Yup...the two must've heard every word.

He nodded, having her eyes. "I need to take care of this before it gets out of hand."

Her jaw clenched a little. She was fighting guilt at the moment, also the notion that Inaki was leaving...even with that bit they experienced. He was nice to have around for the company. "Sorry if I got you into trouble." She nearly whispered, feeling her face tighten. "I didn't think...your girlfriend would -"

A hand rose, cutting her off. "Cam's a...delicate case. She's not the most self-assured person in the world. It's safe to say she gets jealous of me being around anyone female. It's not you, so don't feel sorry for inviting me." His mouth curved a little in a genuine smile. "I had fun last night and I wouldn't take it back for the world."

Her heart fluttered at his kindness and the guilt eased. Her face relaxed at seeing the conviction on his. Her lips tipped in response and she only nodded. Green watched as he went for his sandals and opened the door. She wanted to wish him a safe trip and that she hoped for the best, but the words stuck on her tongue. She only got a small wave in when he looked at her a final time before the door shut.

"That...was unexpected..." Sam came around the wall, hurrying into the empty living room and peeking out the curtains. She watched, wishing her friend wasn't so nosy...before blue widened a little and peeked her curiosity.

"What? What is it?"

Sam's hand frantically waved her over and she took the bait. The shorter girl kneeled enough to let her peek over that blonde head. Green widened at what she found.

Inaki was still outside his car...resting his forehead on the top over the door. He seemed frozen like that until he pulled the door back and she felt like jumping when his bag was harshly thrown inside. She moved to see better when he was slightly obscured, kneeling with her friend...and wished she hadn't. Her heart tore a tad at seeing his head resting over the steering wheel, looking worn out.

Then she did jump as his right hand arched out in a fist, savagely hitting the passenger seat in a single blow.

His other slapped the steering wheel and a shiver stole up her spine. This was the first time she'd ever seen Inaki angry, or anything other than slightly irritated. The bit at the food place last night didn't counter as irritated...barely classified as annoyance. This was pure, full-blown anger she was seeing. And it scared her a little.

Then the car started and sped off as fast as possible. She watched until it was out of sight and then backed away from the window. Inaki left and the whole scene faded, leaving the house boring again and a little anti-climactic...

"Man...I wouldn't want to be that Cameron chick for anything in the world when Inaki gets back." Sam muttered.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Moshi moshi-Hello **(Used for answering a telephone) **Naze-Why Doushita-What's wrong Cameron o wakaru-I know Cameron

Gomen nasai-Sorry **(More polite way of saying it) ** Anata no kashitsu wa arimasen-It's not your fault/error

The basic explanation of a Yin-Yang are as follows: Black-Yin, feminine, shady, secret, dark, mysterious, cold / White-Yang, masculine, clear, bright, the sun, heat The tattoo done in only white shows Inaki's representation of the Yin-Yang.


	20. Ch 20 11 2 2097 2nd Commentary

The ride back didn't help to cool his mood down in the least. The second he got onto a straight road, his fingers death-gripped the steering wheel. Whenever he let go there was a tingling of return blood flow.

Oh he tried to honestly calm down and let the quiet and time help. Really, he did. But every time his mind seemed to blank and his anger lessened, it flared with the wonder of what the hell Cameron was thinking!

He tried understanding her...he tried to be patient as possible, knowing she wasn't capable of doing something outside her personality... But that shot to hell every time she pulled something like this!

How long had this gone on?? Far too long already, THAT was for damn sure! How many times had the same argument occurred, with him spewing the same reassurances to calm her down?

'Nine months yesterday.' He sourly realized. 'Nine FUCKING months I've been dating that onna and yet she doesn't seem to get it through her thick head...' His hand tightened a little more on the wheel...the only thing keeping his nails from digging into his palms and hurting him. In matching response, his foot pushed down even harder on the gas pedal and he sped up faster...as if trying to find a way to out-drive his problems.

He had to solve this once and for all damn it! He could NOT let it escalate any more than it already had! He let Cameron get away with too much. Figuring if he let her have her way on certain things that pertained to his life to keep her from getting worked up - like NOW - didn't help. He went along with it, not thinking it that big a deal. If Cameron wanted to spend time with him by themselves instead of with the guys, why should he deny her that?

Brown narrowed. Except he could recall a few times when she got emotional over not wanting to hang out with his friends...saying he had an issue with them being alone. Just what the FUCK was her problem anyway!?

His teeth grit. Oh...but he FULLY intended on finding out! 'Nine in the morning...my entire god damn FAMILY...I can't BELIEVE her!!'

Cameron was not oriental in any means. Her background was mixed, but he didn't care about her nationalities. But when it came to his...he expressed over time that family was important to him, and so was honor. Not to mention avoiding SHAME.

A muscle in his jaw clenched as it tightened even further. 'To go in like that...and raise hell in front of my oya...nee-chan...and the elders...she's got some fucking NERVE!'

Not only had Cameron disgraced herself by losing control of stupid, petty emotions in front of his relatives...but she disgraced him in the process and embarrassed the entire family! Not to mention his SISTER - who took the brunt of her verbal assault when she opened the door!

'I have half a mind to yell at her and make her apologize for all of that...' He sourly mused. 'Because, as it is, I'M going to have to apologize as well for making such a fuss about everything when I should've taken care of it a long time ago! And they KNOW it too.'

His foot pressed even harder on the accelerator.

The mixed amount of speeding up helped him get home in much the same speed as when he went down to Miami. When he choppily parked the car, one hand reached over and yanked his bag from its resting place and all but slammed the car door shut. The dojo loomed in view from behind the house. He had a foreboding notion Cameron was already inside, but told himself she could wait until he at least put his bag inside and tried to find out if Jayden had anything else to add.

"Tadaima." He mumbled, hanging the keys up. Footsteps sounded as he momentarily slipped out of his sandals.

"Inaki! O - ok - okaeri." Jayden flattened against the wall as Inaki jumped the steps with an even, rather pensive look and speared wide eyes to the back of his head. Her ototo often picked on her and got annoyed when she did the same back or embarrassed him...but that was NOTHING compared to the raw anger radiating from those brown depths.

Oh yea...ototo was pissed!

Teeth bit her lip. Did she want to approach him now? It would be wise to let him know Cameron pounded on the door about ten minutes ago and wanted to know if 'that traitor' was back yet. Jayden gave her the message and the girl stormed off to the dojo to wait. She only hoped the stupid twit hadn't taken upon herself any of the weapons in that dojo!

Jayden took a deep breath and steeled herself, though her spine shivered with unease. She HAD to tell Inaki, seeing him angry wasn't an issue. 'No...but the fact that he's practically ENRAGED is.' She retorted, treading down the hall. She got to the open doorway before he returned. Brown met brown before Inaki's eyes closed and he took a deep breath.

When it released and those eyes opened, they were more even and void of emotion...which was scarier than him being the opposite. "Inaki...she returned about ten minutes ago and is waiting for you in the dojo..."

He nodded, but instead of moving, that raven head dropped. Brown was obscured by his bangs as shame ran across his face. "Gomen nasai Jayden...for getting you mixed up in all of this." He evenly muttered.

The fact that he used her first name instead of a family title told Jayden how sincere Inaki was being. "Oi...it's not big deal...really Inaki -"

One of his hands took hers as he gave a grave stare. "It is. I got the entire family involved in something that should've been stopped half a year ago. I embarrassed you all with her comments and I can only wonder what the elders are thinking about me letting Cameron severely criticize their parenting skills."

The elders were a common name both siblings gave to their grand and great grandparents instead of saying all four titles. It was also a sign of respect, mentioning the word elder. It put age and wisdom together.

A soft smile tipped Jayden's mouth. Her free hand moved and rested over Inaki's shoulder as her other gave a reassuring squeeze. "Daijoubu ototo-chan... I don't think they think of you in disgrace. You know they're forgiving."

"I can only hope." He darkly wished, glaring at the wall next to them. He inhaled again before he met his sister's eyes in resolution. "Guess I should go get this over with, ne?"

Both hands squeezed as the smile climbed a teensy bit higher for support. Her brother would NEED it.

"Just remember to keep your head." She gently advised, letting go and stepping out of the way. "She's delicate," Jayden resisted the urge to snort, "and emotional. If you snap at her, she's bound not to last long."

They headed down the hall and he cleared the steps in a graceful, effortless leap. "I'm aware of that..." He replied, heading out the open patio door.

'All TOO aware of that...'

He stopped on the engawa and stared with dread building in his veins. He didn't want to do this. Not again! He was so TIRED of fighting. Cameron hadn't learned at ALL from that last fight not even a MONTH ago.

Fists clenched as he ordered his body to move. 'So much in thinking things would CHANGE.'

With a deep inhale to do as his sister suggested, he tried to empty his mind before slowly heading to the small building. As a hand went for the shoji, he could hear pacing and an irate sigh filling the air.

He licked his lips in apprehension. Fingers tightened on the wood. Gods but he didn't want to get into another fight! But...there was no other way. Not an EASY one anyway...

Clenching his jaw, he readied himself for the onslaught and slid the shoji open. The second it happened, it was like he released a wave of anger. He stood, hand on the shoji, as Cam's eyes narrowed to slits and blazing rage met him. He harshly swallowed and felt a shiver make its way up his spine.

His body wouldn't move and he had no real desire to walk into the dojo and closer to Cameron. That was only punctuated by both feminine hands clenched in shaking fists.

They seemed frozen like that. Cameron near the middle of the room, jarringly silent, with him just out of the doorway.

He thought of escaping. There was that thin whisper that said if he slammed the shoji to slow her down and shock her by running, he could make it back to the house and lock her out and simply not answer the door. But he was NOT a coward! Even if her angry stare unnerved him a little...

Finally, he couldn't take the silence. "I thought you wanted to talk." He muttered, eyes narrowing a degree.

Cameron didn't move. "I can't decide what I want to do first...hit you or scream at you." She spat.

That got a scowl and a little bit of irritation showed. "Well, you know I dislike domestic violence...so if I had to choose, I'd choose door number two."

"THIS IS NOT FUNNY YAMOI!"

No first name even? Yes, definitely the description Jayden gave before he returned.

"Keep your voice down!" He grit, stepping onto the entryway. He took off his sandals and shut the shoji to dull the noise. "I heard you already burst in on my family when they were eating - which I do NOT appreciate by the way! - and got them involved in this!"

"I did nothing of the sort...so how can you say that??" She retorted, arms crossing defensively.

He glared, jaw tight. "You're immersed in an almost Japanese city Cameron! You should know SOME of the culture, even if you're not around my family that much! Don't you know that when you bring up a subject that concerns me, it also concerns my family??"

"I'm not DATING your family." She grit out, nails digging into her arms. "At least I don't THINK so."

A fist clenched at that snide tone, but he forced it loose. She was purposely trying to get his goat...he could see it. She was trying to hurt him. "You know I'm close with my family so don't give me that." He heaved a sigh and resisted the urge to pace. He settled for turning around to tuck his anger away.

"Don't you DARE turn around on me again Yamoi! You did last time and I felt in the wrong on that. I admit I might've overblown it a bit, but this time it is STRICTLY your fault!"

He was silent for a few seconds as he took a quiet breath. "How is it EXACTLY my fault?" He evenly answered.

The quiet, emotionless tone should've tipped Cameron off to tread lightly. A subject over his friends was always touchy. Inaki regarded his friends as deep treasures...anyone he befriended, he was loyal to...almost overly so. But Cameron's red haze didn't let her see all that.

"By betraying me!" She screeched. Her body wanted to go over and hit him, to glare face to face, but she was rooted to the spot. The best she could do was glare at the back of his head and prayed he felt it. "You TOLD me you didn't intend on making a habit of visiting that girl! Then I find out - from your GRANDMOTHER no less! - that you went to a party with her! What happened? Why didn't you at least let me KNOW what you were doing?"

"It didn't concern you." 

She sputtered, the red deepening. "D - d - didn't CONCERN me? Are you NUTS?! Of COURSE it concerned me! I'm your GIRLFRIEND, damn it! You going out to parties in different cities without at least TELLING me you're going hurts! And you went with a GIRL - who happens to be a friend? I'm starting to lose faith in that word when it concerns her Yamoi..." There was a pause as Cameron tried to regain her breath. "Did you sleep with her?"

Though he didn't turn around, Inaki's head shot up in surprise and absently sent a wide-eyed stare to the closed shoji paper.

Cameron didn't miss that, and took it for surprise at being caught. "You DID...didn't you?" She slowly asked, eyes widening in shock. There was another tense pause as tears met her eyes.

He didn't respond, still too shocked that she'd make such a crass assumption.

Arms wrapped around her stomach at the disgust she felt. "I...I can't BELIEVE you..." She whispered, eyes squeezing shut. "I already gave you MY body... I thought you wouldn't need anyone else as long as you had me to... But now...you're fucking some unnamed chick you met on a whim in a different city in the south!?" Accusing eyes sent cold daggers to the back of his head. "I can't BELIEVE you!" She screeched, taking a step forward. "How COULD you?! Screwing some girl when you had ME! Was I not enough for you?! Did you just want her because she was cute and shy?"

By now, both fists had clenched to the point of his entire arm shaking as Cameron's words set in. It was a good thing she had his back or she would've seen the depth of the reaction she was getting to her words and emotions. After a pause of her awaiting an answer, he finally let go of the death grip on his jaw. "Are you QUITE finished?" He coldly asked.

Cameron glared. "So you AREN'T denying it!" She took another step. "I should've KNOWN it was too much to ask for you to be faithful! I KNEW it! I was right! You ARE just a total player! You -" She paused when Inaki slowly turned around. There was a shiver that ran down her spine at the uptight way his body was holding itself.

She couldn't see his eyes, but maybe that was a good thing. Cameron quickly looked away to finish what she intended to say before she lost the nerve. "I put up with you for nine months now... Nine MONTHS. Doesn't that mean ANYTHING to you? If you go and have sex with any girl you befriend...maybe - maybe you...shouldn't see her anymore."

Emotionless eyes jerked and looked to Cameron, but she still wouldn't look at him. She couldn't be SERIOUS!

The shock must've been on his face when Cameron looked at him. Her arms stubbornly crossed. "I'm serious! I can't trust you around women it seems! So it'd be best if you never talk to this girl - or even write her - again." They stared at each other, her in challenge and him disbelieving, for what seemed an eternity.

It didn't show, but under the surface, his anger boiled to heights he never though imaginable. This dwarfed what he felt in the last fight. Hell it was worse than he'd ever felt in his entire LIFE. Unable to take it anymore, he crossed the small distance with slow, calculated steps...as if sizing up his prey.

Cameron shifted on her feet a little, showing unease, but didn't look away. She met brown until he was just out of reach and tightened her arms. The decision was in her eyes.

His face was surprisingly dead. There was no anger, no shock...no betrayal or hurt. It was like he felt nothing right now. Given the mass amount of rising anger just a few seconds ago...that was more dangerous than being enraged. His lack of feeling toward Cameron spelled disaster if any words came out of his mouth. But he couldn't bring it in himself to care any longer...

"So...what you're saying is...you're telling me not to have a female friend." Cameron's jaw clenched at his even tone, but her chin rose. "I can't have K as a friend because you don't trust me around her..." Below them, fists started clenching again. "I can't see, talk to, or be near any of the entire female population because you don't trust me around them..." Brown finally looked down, bangs hiding his eyes. There was another tense pause as the two stood frozen.

It was then that he lost it. He didn't care about Jayden's warning anymore...or the fact that Cameron would cry. She'd dishonored him for the last time.

"Today...you've thrown some pretty heavy accusations around...Blitz-san." Cameron's brow ticked at the formal way he pronounced her name. There was a little, stunned look on her face which went unnoticed. "You accused me of sleeping with someone I consider a friend and don't even know that well. I was given invitation and accepted because the girl is a workaholic and I did it so she could have a bit of fun as much as I could've. You don't seem to know how much you tarnish my honor and disgrace me every time I put up with your crap."

The look on Cameron's face intensified...and another shiver came when cold brown locked with her eyes.

"You're a little presumptuous to think you can order me around. I try and try to be patient with you...trying to help you so you're not so jealous of something that has never been an issue between us. Nine months Blitz-san...and I've put up with your tantrums for almost half of that." Brown hardened as he leaned forward. "You've some nerve...coming to my family's home, unannounced and raising hell in front of the elders, my parents, and my sister. I don't care if you take up your shit with me - I can deal with it because I have for months now - but you involved three generations who I kept in the dark because it would shame me in showing that I couldn't keep your damn jealousy under wraps."

A deeper shiver came and Cameron fought to take a step back. The lack of anything in his voice was almost as bad as if he were shouting at her. There was a detached look in those eyes and she felt like a total stranger to this man...one whom she knew rather intimately. Both arms tightened even more in unease as the only barrier between them.

"I won't be so chauvinistic to try and control you in public. I'm no slave driver. But all I've asked - all I've EVER asked - is that you try to understand me...even a LITTLE...and trust me as I trust you on the same terms. I haven't slept with anyone but you, you know. That accusation hurts. You just stabbed a knife through my heart when you said that, you know that? I'm not a player at all. I flirt sometimes and I admit it, but I have never taken it to a different level just to get laid! I'm not like the guys...who are worse than I am with women!"

He leaned back, as if he couldn't stand being near her. The control on his temper was starting to give way. "And now you are practically ORDERING me to stop talking to K just because she's a girl! How can you be so unsupportive and prejudice of your own gender? You flip out if I even glance at a girl for a second! You can't believe ME? I can't believe YOU! I tried and tried to keep my mouth shut and not say a word about the shit you keep pulling...not to any great extent anyway. I've worked to be positive and kind in your presence because you're so fucking emotional over every little bit that concerns us! Maybe if you took a step back from the situation and seen it for what it was worth, you would find how much shame you place on yourself every time you jump to stupid-ass conclusions like this!"

She wanted to yell at him. Her anger was pricked at him defacing her. Even though she defaced him worse, that didn't seem to matter. Her teeth clenched, but she couldn't get words out...not when he looked ready to hurt something. She wasn't stupid enough to warrant something that dangerous. Even if she knew Inaki would never hit her or beat her, though he had the knowledge to, she'd never seen him so angry. He mentioned he tried to keep it from her...and she wondered how much anger had built up over half a year.

He turned around and Cameron startled. Both arms dropped in shock. "Why are you turning around now?" She muttered, trying to get a small, panicked feeling to go away. "With all that you've said to my face...you can't finish saying what you wanted?" She heaved a sigh. "Okay so maybe I DON'T trust you as much as I should've. Can you BLAME me? Do you know how many of your ex-girlfriends still want to go out with you and sleep with you?? Do you know how many looks I get from the general public of those who know your sex reputation who want to sleep with you?! I have to compete with that on a daily damned basis! I'm tired of worrying about when one of those girls is going to offer herself to you and you won't think of me and our relationship!"

"Then maybe we shouldn't be going out."

Cameron's mouth open and closed, but nothing would come out. The silence that followed didn't help the feeling of grim resolution coming from Inaki. Her breathing became a little shallower as adrenaline hit her. Panic grew the more he didn't move or say anything.

A quiet thump hit the floor and he knew Cameron fell to the ground. It was pretty shocking to just blurt that out...but he was too sick of this and the reasons he stayed around Cameron were getting shot to hell. He was drained of trying and going through this...and if she said she put up with him for nine months, it apparently hadn't meant that much to her.

The fact that she didn't really trust him didn't help either. He couldn't stay with someone who didn't trust him even a LITTLE bit. If she was tired of worrying about that...she apparently didn't care that much either.

"Inaki..." Cameron whispered, tears swimming in her eyes.

"Blitz-san...I'm serious. With all the things you just said...you can't possibly take them back. I finally figured out how you feel about me and what your true emotions are. Nine months have just been a waste."

"No! Inaki -"

"Don't speak my name so familiarly Blitz-san...not anymore."

He took a few steps toward the exit and utter fear filled her. "Wait! Please..." He paused, but didn't look at her. "You're...leaving? That's it then? This is the last time we'll ever be together? You're going to turn your back on everything we've shared?"

A deep sigh resounded. Slowly, raven turned as he met her eyes. There was a deep regret and sorrow and it tore at her heart. "I'm tired of fighting with you to try and get you to trust me Blitz-san. That's what I'm turning my back on."

"But - but I can change! I swear! I'm SORRY!"

Another sigh came. "I've heard that excuse too many times Blitz-san. It won't work anymore. You've had so long to change and accept that I wouldn't hurt you...and you never have. Perhaps I was wrong..."

Her head wildly shook as she tried to stand, but found her legs wouldn't hold her. She slumped to the ground and caught herself with her hands. "No! You weren't! I...I just...can't be as outgoing as you are..." Dead eyes stared at the wood boards as tears littered them. "I'm trying...really I am..."

His head tilted a little. Brown looked to the wall in indecision.

Sympathy and emotion for her flared. He could take it all back and tell her that this last fight would be her final chance. He could tell her to change and learn to trust him or he really WOULD leave her. But...she was saying some of the same things as in their last fight. He couldn't listen or he would drown in the emotion he had for her. Even if this meant he would be alone again...something he loathed almost as much as fighting. It was easy to see, given the fact that he was almost always around his family and around his friends a lot. Still, being free of all the guilt and weariness Cameron put him through was worth the loneliness. He'd survive that way better than all of this.

His head turned back, eyes locking on the shoji. Just a few more steps and he'd be out. It would be final. His walking away would make this concrete.

"No." He quietly replied, getting a choked sob in return.

Part of him didn't want to hurt her anymore, not now that it was all going downhill to the end. But just as she hurt him, so too did he hurt her. They could never retract their words. It would never be the way it was in the beginning. Whoever was at fault that first time didn't matter. None of it was relevant anymore really...

He got a few steps, heart clenching painfully at her cries, before her fist weakly pounded on the wood. "Damn you...Yamoi." Cameron sobbed. There was little malice in it. "Why?? Why damn it!"

His hand reached for the door, lightly resting on it. After a bit, another exhausted sigh sounded. "Because none of us are happy Blitz-san..." He whispered. "Not you for not being able to trust me...and not me for you hurting me with your lack of faith. I just can't take it anymore."

"Why did you ask me out then?? Why?!"

He forced his hand to move before he walked over and scooped her up in his arms for an apologetic hug. "As I told you before...I found qualities in you endearing. I liked you and I thought you could be the one."

Resentful eyes glared at his back. "You're ALWAYS looking for the one." Cameron growled, pushing up to her knees. "What's the big deal with that?? Couldn't you just be happy dating people?"

A sad smile greeted the yard, brown inching closed. "I don't know why...but every part of me is searching for that. I have ever since I became interested in girls." A humorless snort sounded. "Perhaps that's why I have such a horrible dating record, ne?" Silence met his badly timed attempt at humor. "I'll let you compose yourself...but it's best you be out of here before long."

This really was it. Cameron couldn't believe it was ending this way! "I...hate you." She tearily hissed, head lightly thumping on the wood.

Yet another stab in the heart. He tucked it away until he was alone. "...I understand."

"How can you be so damned heartless?!" She suddenly cried out, desperate to understand this twist of the man she knew.

He went for his sandals automatically, feeling his body grow cold. "How could you never have faith in me?" He threw out. "Sayonara...Cameron-san."

The shoji was left open and her sobs grew quieter as he trudged to the patio door. It slid open slowly and he shut it the same way...looking up to find Jayden's eyes on him. He took a deep breath and filed some of the anguish away, but his sister saw it before he could. She was always good at reading him.

Jayden mutely stood and stopped in front of her brother. The impulse to embrace and shield him from this mental pain was great, but he didn't want that. She knew he didn't. "Inaki...?"

With bangs covering his face, eyes on the floor, he resisted the urge she created. His sister...he loved her immensely deep down...but he wouldn't bring her into this anymore than he had. Too many times he asked advice for how to deal with his now ex-girlfriend, or gained comfort. It was time to handle it on his own for once.

"Please watch to make sure Blitz-san manages to leave and close the shoji if she doesn't." He calmly requested.

Jayden flinched at the polite name. It was callous in a way. He didn't even call her Cameron-san, which was a little more 'intimate' than her last name. She nodded regardless. "Hai...Inaki." She whispered. Teeth bit her lip as hands twitched to touch him. "Would you...like me to do anything else?"

Black mutely swished. "I'm heading out to my spot...I'll return before sundown." Without touching her or letting her touch him, he left Jayden standing in front of the back door and wordlessly grabbed his board. He hadn't taken his sandals off and knew he would've gotten hell for walking over the dining tatami for that, but that was the last thing on Jayden's mind right now.

"Ittekimasu..." He breathed, slowly clicking the door shut.

Tears slipped down Jayden's face as she turned and watched the screen porch close. "Iterasshai..." She whispered. Her face turned as if in pain. "Oh Inaki..." A hand covered Jayden's mouth as she dropped to the table and silently cried, sharing her brother's pain. Too often had she seen the hurtful look on his face, caused by Cameron. Now that would never happen again...but he was paying for it double right now.

Cameron was an idiot if she couldn't see that Inaki harbored affection toward her. Like their culture, they were taught to reduce the amount of emotion they showed to the general public. He never liked rushing that sort of thing anyway; it always took him a little bit to build the intensity of a relationship.

The girl never saw that...no matter how much she was around the family. One would think Cameron would've picked up on that...or at least ask him some details!

It seemed forever until Jayden's tears stopped, but she hastily cleaned her face, not wanting her family to see her crying. She was too spirited to show that kind of weakness. After a deep inhale, she scooted next to the glass door with the tea she'd been enjoying and watched the shoji door blankly.

Time passed, how much she didn't know, but her tea was gone and the shoji was still open. She watched it almost hawk-like the entire time, so unless Cameron left right after Inaki...she was still there.

The cup was set in the sink as Jayden squared her shoulders and opened the screen. Slowly, she strode to the dojo - trying not to be angry or resentful - and peeked in. Cameron was in a crouch over the floor, head on her knees. No sobbing reached Jayden's ears, but that didn't mean the girl wasn't crying.

Licking her lips nervously, she shrugged off the sandals and took a few steps into the dojo. A quick bow for respect, and then her entire attention rested on the girl. Cameron hadn't moved, even when Jayden stopped directly in front of her. "Blitz-san..." She evenly whispered.

Cameron drug a deep breath before finally looking way up, tear tracks on her face. "Jayden - I mean, Yamoi-san."

Jayden's face softened a minute degree, though she didn't move. "Come Blitz-san...Inaki told me to shut the shoji so nothing comes inside."

Which was the nicest way Jayden could say 'you have to leave now'. Cameron bitterly looked around the dojo one last time, knowing she'd never see this place or Inaki unless in passing. She stood, even though Jayden extended her hand, and looked at the girl. "You hate me, don't you?" Cameron quietly asked, looking into brown.

There was a small flash of protective fire, but Jayden smoothed her face. "No. But you hurt my brother, whom I love very dearly. Sore yurusimasen."

Not asking for a translation, not wanting one, Cameron slowly walked around the woman and headed for the shoji. She put her sandals on, at least polite enough to take them off, and watched Jayden do the same. Just when Jayden started turning for the back door, Cameron stopped and she did as well. "Goodbye Yamoi-san."

Jayden gave a small, polite bow. It wasn't her place to be nasty to this girl, even though she was true in her words. The pain of her brother was a thing that wouldn't go away in her heart and she would never trust Cameron anymore, or be anything but a polite stranger to her. She didn't hate Cameron...as hate was a powerful, undying thing. She wouldn't let it eat at her, but she would never forget or forgive this passing. "Sayonara Blitz-san."

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Ne?-right/correct? Sore yurusimasen-I can't forgive that

@~~~~~ Time for the second commentary. Yes this was angst overflow, but that's what I do best besides humor and romance...which will also continue to be in this story as well. ^^ This commentary is for secondary characters - primary being Inaki and Kalie - and their connections to the primary characters. It's going to be lengthy too.

**Relating to Kalie:**

Samantha Merth-Primary comic relief, as if anyone COULDN'T tell. Perky, outgoing, got a rather strange sense of humor, and is also there for K to talk some sense into her whenever she gets down about herself - as shows in chapters. Also a surrogate big sister, which is sort of explained and will be further in the future. (A lot of Sam's quirks I patterned from my sense of humor. Just like I patterned a lot of K's dating faults after my own...I find my angsty life works for good story material.)

Merths-Mother-Missy Merth, 43; father-Carl, 44; brothers-Kevin, 19 / Casey-18. Surrogate family. The two spend a little time at the Merth residence on holidays - as mentioned. K calls Sam's mother mom and somewhat considers the three siblings hers. She is sort of close to them.

Ella Himmen-K's mother. Age-41. Taught K how to be independent and things related, mostly because she worked a lot to provide and was not home. End result is a friendly relationship, but nothing serious or really close as it could be.

Marcus Himmen-K's father. Divorced K's mother when K was ten. Now lives in Florida two hours north. Nothing will be said about him except details of the past concerning before and a little after the divorce. It will be rather clear that K despises her father.

Tommy-Age 62 / Chester-Age 65 / Roger-Age 72 - Regulars to Coffee Works. Harbors affection for K because of her congeniality and willingness to talk despite busy work time.

Chance-College friend / classmate who might not be mentioned much in further chapters. The sexuality choice was a split decision issue that I went with to add spice to the story. 

Hall / Sheryl-High school friends / classmates who might not be mentioned much in further chapters. Hall had a massive crush on K and persuaded her to go out on a single date, but K refused others due to dating issues of an ex. Sheryl still tries to get her brother and friend together.

**Relating to Inaki:**

Cameron Blitz-Ex girlfriend. Ninth girlfriend to date Inaki since his first at 12. Sixth to have slept with Inaki since he lost his virginity at 15. Generally shy, reserved, introverted, etc. Had hard time trusting Inaki, but always wanted to be with him. Tried to change by having faith and not being so suspicious ONLY. Will not be mentioned in future chapters unless in flashbacks or remembrance.

Jayden Yamoi-Confidant, teaser, slight mother, all around sibling. Age 25. Shared a room with Inaki since he was an infant. Listens to a lot of Inaki's problems and general conversation by sharing same room. Same black hair and brown eyes. Hair length-mid back. Steady boyfriend / possible future husband - Chad. No last name will be given. Age 27. The two have dated for three ongoing years so far. Helps keep family business running by working register, doing light cleaning, and stocking around the store.

Kristine Yamoi-Paternal love, pamperer, raiser. Age 45. Is soft-spoken and not very outgoing, but loves her son very much and always tries her hardest to spoil Inaki because he never lets her. Helps keep family business running by working register, doing light cleaning, and stocking around the store. Might not be mentioned much in further chapters.

Omo Yamoi-Husband, also yet to be mentioned. Age 46. Might not be mentioned much in story. Supports Inaki in a lot of decisions, but will teach him the difference of what his actions might do. Helps keep family business running by doing maintenance, stocking, some cleaning work like Inaki.

Mamorah Yamoi-Business shark, mildly close to Inaki. Grandmother. Age 63. Is congenial and friendly around Inaki. Helps keep family business running by working register or keeping tabs on finances.

Kekoy Yamoi-Next in line to inherit family business. Grandfather. Age 65. Teaches Inaki Kempo and some weapons training. Doing little bit of tutoring with kanji. Helps keep family business running by keeping tabs on finances and orders supplies for store.

Mira Yamoi-Partner-owner of business. Great grandmother. Age 81. Might not be mentioned much in story. Helps keep family business running by deciding what should be sold in store and for how much.

Setumo Yamoi-Partner-owner of business, founder of business. Great grandfather. Age 80. Teaches Inaki Kempo and some weapons training. Helps keep family business running by deciding what should be sold in store and for how much.

Robert-Age 24 / Chass-Age 19 / Kelar-Age 25-Primary comic relief and main friend set to Inaki. They call themselves the musketeers. Sometimes dare each other to do stupid stuff for fun if bored. Chass is the most sensitive of the group and good for advice, Kelar the most female player. Robert's girlfriend - Jolette. Age 24. Chass's girlfriend - Gretta. Age 17. No last names will be given. Girlfriends might not come into picture. Friends might be in future chapters.

The next ten are going to be what everyone will either love or drive them crazy. The first plot is going to go in full swing - the attraction between Inaki and Kalie and what I do to - I mean WITH them. ^^ Next commentary will deal more with things that make up the year 2097 / 2098. Definitely won't be as LONG either. ~~~~~@


	21. Ch 21

"Magomusume! Where's that lazy brother of yours??"

Jayden paused, hands elbow deep in soap suds, and craned her neck to see in the family room as far as it would go. Her grandmother's irritated eyes looked back.

"I have no clue obaasan. Maybe he went to finish the rest of the lunch hour in his room."

A sigh softly came from the low-set table on the other side of Jayden. Brown swung over to find her parents sitting with their great grandmother over tea. "That boy has been like that for over two weeks now." Kristine muttered. "I'm worried for him."

A hand rested on her shoulder, giving a small squeeze. "Inaki was fond of the girl Kristine...give him some more time. After all...it's only been twenty days."

Kristine's head nodded; though it didn't lessen her concern any. "Hai, hai... You're right. I just...worry about him is all..."

Omo smiled at his wife and gave another squeeze. He let her words die and turned back to his tea.

"Magomusume...stop that and go find your brother." Mamorah ordered. The aged woman almost marched in from the family room with a broom and a dust rag limply resting over her shoulder. "We've still got half the house to clean."

Jayden complied, letting her fingers drip a little before going for a towel. She didn't say a word about her grandmother's mood, for the woman didn't seem to fully understand why Inaki was still so down in the dumps. As much as the woman loved her grandson, she suggested he go find himself another girl - one more suited for him this time - and stop moping over one he would never have again.

As crass as her grandmother had just been regarding Inaki, Mamorah just wanted her kin to be happy...and sometimes didn't apply the most tact.

Jayden gave a small nod to her oya and hiosobo before exiting the eating area/kitchen, slinging the towel over a shoulder as she went.

She understood what Inaki was going through more than anyone. Privy to information and fights over the past months gained her an inside track, but not one she was sure she wanted. Being so worried over Inaki's constant, silent, and brooding behavior, she wished she knew as little as her okaasan did. She was the most apt to be able to do something, but there was nothing to be done and that left her rather frustrated.

A shoulder leaned against the door in silence, seeing her ototo resting against the window on her bed. She didn't take offense to that, seeing the blank, unblinking look on his face.

A pair of cordless headphones was strapped around his ears. In the quiet, she could hear a little bit of the music radiating from the foam pads in his ears and a brow rose.

Whatever ototo was listening to, he apparently wanted it loud enough to shut the world out.

Again.

She fought a sigh and took a few steps in the room, seeing she didn't gain his attention. Either his mind was wandering more than she thought, or he was ignoring her.

Finally, he blinked, but didn't look away. Dull eyes stared outside and down the street of the wide window, not seeing anything. He was too caught up in the music, having escaped to the privacy of his room to listen to it.

Lunch was a quiet effort, but he could feel the tension of his changed mood on his family. He knew they were curious about his emotional state and worried over it, as he was normally friendlier than this around them...even Jayden.

It was nice to have a holiday come so he didn't have to work today. Their Japanese labor day arrived and all oriental stores closed. Except obaasan, okaasan, and ojiisan got it in their heads that the place should be given a thorough cleaning and any small home projects finished while everyone was around.

He didn't really have a choice in the matter...but he didn't mind. It helped him put his energy into something so he could forget for a while.

Working at the store helped keep him occupied and his mind from wandering too much. But time in the back room was the hardest because his mind and the quiet were a deadly mix. What if's and whys were always going through his head...along with the desire to see Cam.

He missed her; he wasn't going to lie to himself. They hadn't seen each other, and there was nothing to exchange that each had given the other over time and were returning. He was alone again and it sucked. Not even his family could really help the sting of wanting to be with someone who made him happy. His friends tried their best to cheer him up and suggested he casual date if he was in need of company. He didn't expect them to understand...

Casual dating wasn't permanent. His friends always returned home before the night was out. His family was his present. He was looking for something toward the future.

Why he never knew. All he felt when it came to finding the one - as he told Cameron - was this burning drive. It was as if there was a single girl out there specifically for him and he had to find her. Her life was slipping away with every passing day and he was missing it. That someone special was living life without him.

Brown lowered to the windowsill and landed on his palm-sized cd player when there was a small buzzing in his ears as the track changed.

**Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo (When I'm alone, tomorrow feels far away)**

**Yoake no mama de, koesou de (And I must go over still into the darkness of dawn)**

**Butsukatteikya kokeru omoi yo (If I try to play it straight, it will no doubt fail)**

**Konya mo mata, sure chigai (And tonight it won't go well between us again)**

** Sanzan sugite doryoku no ato mo (You can't see all of my hard efforts, because it's only result)**

**Naku naru kekka, only no tsuna watari (Is that it makes no sense. It really is a tightrope)**

**Yaru dake son suru yona, mainichi wa (More effort, more damage--this is my daily life)**

**Sha ni kamaeteta hou koso, raku ni naru (Taking a cynical attitude may give me some comfort)**

Music seemed the best way to go. If he couldn't overcome these feelings, he would ride through them. Being a musical person, he knew lyrics and melodies represented a part of a person's soul when they were written and certain emotions were incorporated to give the song a distinct feel whether slow or fast.

**Atsukute, tsurai jibun wo kakushite, mijikai toki wo ikiteru (Hiding myself, heated and irritated; living only a short time)**

One of the ear buds was taken from his ear and he yelped in surprise, vision jerking into the room. He blinked. "Nee-chan."

The music came a little better the closer it was and Jayden recognized the song. Brown narrowed. Her ototo was trying to self-pity himself to death right now. As much as she understood the need for being depressed - as she sometimes was in her relationship - ototo needed to get out of this slump to see how badly he was torturing himself.

"Inaki...obaasan wants us all to get back to work."

He nearly grimaced at the subtle command in Jayden's tone. She was more precisely telling HIM to get back to work. To stop loafing around. At least she didn't make mention to the music he had in his player.

"Fine." A hand held out for his bud and was immediately returned. He shut the player off for now, resolving to turn it back on to muddle his brain when he got back to work. He had the dojo to clean and polish next if he was right.

The whole house woke with the morning - WAY too early for him - and after a quick breakfast, got down to work. Hisobosan was scheduled to make lunch, but after that, the elderly woman was to take it easy. They tried to get his hisofusan to do the same, but he was too stubborn and kept insisting he should at least sweep the dirt off the engawa at least.

Otousan and ojiisan were going through all the major appliances in the house to give them a good cleaning and fix any that needed it. The women were cleaning up the downstairs rooms, and they had him clean his inside practice area since he was the only one who used that.

After orders were given, everyone paired off or split up and headed to different sections of the house.

With a bucket of sudsy water and enough rags to choke a horse, he headed into the dojo and quickly bowed to the flags before setting everything aside. When he finished and the wood dried, he had to fish around the storage closet in the house for a wood strengthener liquid. A few rags went in his belt loops, as they did when he was at work, and the bucket was drug into the back of the small place. It was about the size of a double-car garage, but it would take him some time. He intended on doing a good job.

A hand grabbed the small player out of his back pocket and passed a few tracks.

**I feel this, this tension inside of me**

**Pressure is presently pushing down on me**

**The first time it starts with just you and I**

**Repeating myself but you don't hear me  
  
**

**I can see what you see**

**But is it worth it to me?**

**The same old conversation over and over and over**

** I'm just sick and tired of all those lies you tell me**

**You say those same things to me over and over and over**

**It's safe to say you surprise**

**I see right through you this time**

**But I keep telling you it's over, it's over, it's over**

He paused in his cleaning. Nearly one entire wall was scrubbed - rather harshly at that - to shine. Brown gravitated to the general spot where Cameron stood and ultimately kneeled. It was burned quite clearly in his memory. Not only that...but it hadn't been that long ago.

She changed him...for the better when he asked her out...and for the worse when he broke up with her. He would not get over her easily. She had her faults, that was a given, but so did he. Perhaps if he never flirted with that girl so long ago, Cam would've never started the whole thing that lead to this. Maybe their fights wouldn't have been so bad, and he might've been able to date a girl for over a year for once.

His head shook. Dwelling on it as he'd done did not help any. Cameron was gone she wasn't going to come back.

**You've taken these things that belong to me**

**Twisted so tightly and torn so carefully**

**The last time it ends with just you and I**

**Alone in a room with these torn bed sheets**

**  
  
I can see what you see and it ain't worth it to me**

**The same old conversation over and over and over**

**I'm just sick and tired of all those lies you tell me**

**You say those same things to me over and over and over**

**It's safe to say you surprise**

**I see right through you this time**

**But I keep telling you it's over, it's over, it's over**

~*~*~

The sun was just starting to set by the time he finished rubbing the ending coat of the wax-like solution on the entry porch. Just as he turned to grab more of the liquid on his rag for a wipe on the pillar holding the porch roof up, he spotted his father slowly ambling over. A hand wiped on the last clean rag he had as he quickly hit the pause button on the current song he had going.

"Hai otousan?" He asked, keeping at it. He was almost done and if they were having dinner, he would hope it could wait an extra ten, maybe fifteen minutes.

Omo stopped and looked at the gleaming wood. He gave a nod of appreciation. "You did a very good job musuko." He commented, smiling a little.

He smiled back in acknowledgement. "Is it dinner already? I admit, I got a little too into my work here."

There was a thoughtful look on his face that Omo didn't miss. The tinge of wistfulness and sorrow mixed in told Omo his son didn't get that into his work without consequence of forcing himself into it. Without warning, a hand snatched the relatively clean rag out of his belt loop and set it over the small porch. Omo sat down and ignored his son's stunned look, staring at the sky. "I hear you've had a rough month."

The hand scrubbing the beam paused. Brown slowly closed as his body tensed. "Did nee-chan tell you?"

"I had a good idea that Saturday morning."

His jaw clenched in shame. That feeling would never leave him and he doubted it ever would. "Gomen otousan. I never could keep Blitz-san under control..." A hand on his leg stopped him. Brown looked down into aged brown. After a silent, unknown communication, he kneeled on the porch, still meeting his father's eyes. "Otousan...?"

Omo gave a small smile. "You've already apologized Inaki, there is no need to keep repeating yourself."

He finally looked away, a rueful glare hitting the boards. "I feel highly responsible for it all. I wasn't verbally forgiven for that..."

"Because there was nothing to forgive."

His head shook. "I wish I could believe that...but I should've broken up with Blitz-san a long time ago. I should've known she wouldn't change and stopped being so jealous."

Omo's hand reached out and gave his shoulder a single pat that said more than words could've. "You had feelings for her. You were hoping she would see you for who you were, and not your reputation."

Inaki nodded, but his face heated in embarrassment. He learned of sex in school and on his own, his parents never gave him the talk. It was a little unnerving for two grown men - not to mention family - talking about such an act.

"But that never happened. You should find it in your heart to forgive yourself for both your shortcomings and let yourself move on."

A smile slowly eased on his face. "Did nee-chan or okaasan come out here to ask you to talk to me?"

Omo gave a wry grin. "Actually it was hiosobosan. She wanted you to cheer up and being your otousan, I was elected to have a man-to-man chat." He winked.

Inaki's smile widened. He didn't spend that much time with his father as he could've. Even though time passed and parenting was on more equal leveling with the gender...in this old-fashioned household, the women were still more apt to raise the child.

He worked well with his father; they had that silent communication at work that was good together. But private moments like these weren't that much. He was an independent youth and Yamoi Omo was a responsible business patron in their store. He spent a lot of time there, working to take over his father's chores.

"Hisobosan is one sharp onna." He muttered, standing again. He went for the last spots to finish up, his mood lightening a little with his father here. "Even for being eighty."

"Just don't tell her age to her face musuko. She may be old, but she can still knock you down."

He snickered and Omo gave a wry grin. "That onna isn't old, she's ancient."

"To you maybe."

"Hai, hai... But she still has rather good eyes for someone her age."

Omo stood and draped the rag over his son's shoulder before stretching. "Kimi wa tadashii desu...and she's very wise too. That's why I figured I'd take it upon myself to listen to her when she suggested cheering you up." The happy mood slipped a little with what loomed over his life and his smile dimmed a notch. Brown refused to look at his father and focused on the wood as he scrubbed. Omo was no fool and knew his son well. A hand clapped him once on the back. "If you insist on dwelling over a girl in your past Inaki, you'll never grow as a man. Since you started dating it seemed you were searching for something. None of the family have questioned you and always supported you in almost everything you wanted for yourself."

"Except cutting my hair."

"Yes, except that. And if you don't want the women yelling at you again, you'll let it grow out." Omo smiled. Omo's hair was in a thin braid down the middle of his back, as was common for all the men in the family. Those of older age didn't have so much and braided what they could, or went without. "Anyway...I was making a point. I'm not telling you to get over this girl right away. It seemed you harbored great affection for her in the time you knew each other. But that was your past. Leave the past there so you can look forward. Take two steps forward, not backward musuko."

He nodded, his father's words striking a cord. He valued any of his family's advice, and he valued his father's even more because of the lack of time they spent together. "Boku shitteiru..."

"Maa...I'm going to see if the women or the elders have anything else for me to do. I think I smell Sukiyaki from the kitchen."

His mouth started watering. It'd definitely been hours since lunch, though the exact time was unknown. It was safe to say he was getting very hungry. "I take it that's to celebrate the house being cleaned?"

"There always IS a reward the women provide by everyone buckling down and applying heavy elbow grease to the grounds."

He grinned and dropped the rag in the now empty bucket with the others. "Koko o boku owarimashita desu." He left the rags and took a step back to appreciate his hard work. "Nice - I like."

"I agree musuko. Now...Sukiyaki normally has a plethora of extra things with it. Shall we go taste-test some of their cooking to make sure it's thoroughly done?"

An evil grin sprouted and he snatched the bucket off the porch. "Otousan, you're positively evil... It's no doubt that I'm your son."

Omo laughed as the two headed for the back door. "Damn straight you are! No son of mine is going to live their life without getting their feet dirty!"

He chuckled and shook his head. His father had a bizarre sense of humor, but he appreciated it for what it was worth.

~*~*~

He flopped onto his bed with a happy sigh. A hand patted his stomach. "I will never get tired of saying this. I appreciate the way you cook nee-chan."

Jayden smirked and went to the closet. Dinner was lot better all around. Everyone was tired, but spirits were high with all the work they'd got done. Now they wouldn't have to worry about repeating this same chore until NEXT labor day.

Jayden was grateful for her father going out and talking with Inaki. Whatever otousan said worked on even a small level. Inaki didn't seem to be his general sarcastic self, but his mood lifted a degree. Stepping out of the long closet with a nightgown over an arm, she stopped and gave Inaki's mattress a soft kick.

"Oi...what'd you want?" He mumbled, half asleep. Such good food - his stomach was wearing him down by trying to handle it all. A nap sounded so nice after all the emotional turmoil recently.

"I'm going to take a shower. You don't need to use the bathroom, do you?"

"Iko."

With a nod, Jayden headed for the door, but paused in the archway. "Ah...I forgot. You got a letter while you were busy outside." With that, she shut the door to give him privacy.

He smiled a little and shuffled off the mattress. He snatched the letter off the desk - wondering how he could've missed it - and plopped back down on his futon.

_Inaki,_

_I'm so sorry to hear about you and your girlfriend. I can't somehow feel that part of your breakup was my fault. If I hadn't invited you down here, maybe you'd still be going out with Cameron. I hope you don't hate me for what happened. I can't help but feel guilty over the whole thing...even though you didn't tell me much. But, it's none of my place to ask_

_So how are you doing now? Good I hope. I remember you mentioning you disliked being single, so I can only wish you're hanging in there. Trust me, it's not easy, but if you find something to occupy yourself...it helps ease the pain._

_On a lighter note...you intend on spending your Thanksgiving with the family? Do you celebrate that? I remember your religion too, and I got curious one day and looked. I see you would have a holiday on the twenty-third...unless this reaches you after that._

_Me though...I don't really celebrate holidays, but I'm using the time off to visit my mother and spend it with her. We don't do much, as it's just us two, but we make our dinner together. I'm doing that on the twenty-seventh. Coffee Works is only closed that day, but the Hyatt isn't and I made sure to get that off. Friday and Saturday I'll be back in Miami...though I won't have classes._

_The other two days I'll be spending with Sam's family. They sort of worked out a system - something they told me to stop feeling guilty about. Instead of having their meal on Thursday, they're having it on Friday so I can eat with them. I don't think they know how much that means to me, but I assume they do..._

_Geez...all I do is babble whenever I write, don't I? I never seem to make sense...at least rereading whatever I write when I stop and figure what else I want to add. You need to kick me of that habit!_

_So what do you intend on doing now with your life? Dig yourself into work? I can't exactly say you'll have much of a social life if you do that. And you know I speak from experience. I don't want to sound overly sympathetic and say I know how you feel...but I do. I've had bad breakups before - though I don't know how bad yours was - and they're rather discouraging on a few things. The only advice I can give, though I don't know if you want it, is to keep your chin up and look to tomorrow. Think of your future and it'll help get you through today._

_That sounded really corny didn't it? Sorry for that...but I've told that to myself a few times and it's worked, so I just thought I'd pass on the advice._

_I don't know if I'll get your letter before the holiday rolls around, but I wish you have a happy holiday. If you celebrate it, try to find something you're thankful for. I have something I'm thankful for this year......that's you...being my friend._

_Hoping for the best,_

_K_

_November 15, 2097_

He heaved a sigh and let his head fall back to his pillow. Why did K have to remind him of everything he wanted to forget right now?

A hand put the paper over his face as brown stared at the words, letting them blur. He hoped she didn't pity or feel sorry for him...he HATED other people's pity. He didn't need it...didn't WANT it!

The hand clenched in irritation and the paper crinkled.

He sighed again and let it flutter to his chest. The appendage dropped to the bed and his eyes closed wearily. What he wouldn't give to just forget this past month...

He listened to the shower close by and let it wash away all his thoughts with the sound. He rested for a bit until a hand picked the letter up, a thought coming to him. Did he just get a snippet of K's past??

Brown scanned the single sheet and widened a little. He DID! Over breakups nonetheless! He snorted a little in disbelief and reread the whole thing again. He couldn't believe it! K finally gave him a small glimpse into her past? 'She mentioned breakups...as in plural...as in she dated more than one guy!'

He'd never figured she dated PERIOD. With as shy as she was toward him - and people in general - she didn't seem well-versed in social life...

He wondered if he could get any details for once if he asked. Would K have known him long enough to tell him something about herself? His lips pressed together. 'Worth a shot...' Feeling renewed, even for a little bit, he slid off the futon and headed for the desk.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Kimi wa tadashii desu-You're correct **(Also just politely saying 'correct') **Boku shitteiru-I know Maa-Well Iko-Go

Koko o boku owarimashita desu-I'm finished here/Finished here

Sukiyaki-Slices of beef with soy sauce, sugar, sake, and other ingredients. Raw eggs are served on the side as dip.

Song 1-- Series: Rurouni Kenshin Singer: Yoake Mae Title: Heart of Swords Song 2-- Band: Default Title: Sick and Tired


	22. Ch 22

Thanksgiving was supposed to be a holiday of sleeping in, being tempted with the aromas of good food - yet not allowed to touch a single bite until dinner, and spending time with her mother. At least for one single day.

This wasn't as carefree as she would've liked it to be. Her mind was torn with indecision and the pros and cons of giving away information about herself.

It was surprising to get such a response so quickly with the mailing system. Normally, it took almost a week for her letters to get sent, holidays and Sundays notwithstanding. That also added the time it took for her to respond. So it was nice to have something to do while their small feast cooked on Thursday. That's what she figured at least...

She was rather dismayed at finding Inaki's amiable request for something, anything, over her past since she mentioned a smidgen about breakups.

She didn't do that on purpose. Guilt over the whole thing made her want to give him some sort of comfort and hope that his breakup wasn't the end of the world and there were better things out there. She knew what happened with those things and didn't want him to be like that too.

Had she known that would cause such a chain reaction, she would've never said anything so revealing.

Teeth bit her lip as she poured all her frustrations into mashing the nearly finished potatoes. All day she'd been hardly responsive to her mother's friendly talk, too caught up in what she should do. She should've felt more horrible for that, as she only here for one day and wouldn't see her mother again until Christmas.

Should she say something in response? All Inaki wanted was a LITTLE bit of inside information. How long had she known him now anyway? After a brief think, she was amazed. 'Geez, four months already. And he's been down here twice...' Allowing him in her house twice and inviting him down...what did that say about her trusting him then?

She'd never been to his house yet, but that wasn't Inaki's fault. She simply didn't have the time with classes and two jobs ate up the rest of it. She didn't blame him for not inviting her up. It was also a fact that, with eight people living under one roof, there would be no place to put her! It didn't sound like they had overnight guests that much, and no WAY would she kick someone out of their bed...or - God forbid - have to bunk with Inaki!

Her cheeks heated up as the image of him in a towel came. Combined with the one with him in a wife beater...shirt around his elbows... 'Oh MAN...I'm starting to think like SAM!' With a small sigh, she put more effort into her work, seeing frustration had done a pretty good job for her.

There was a presence and she jumped, head whipping around. "I think those are as good as they're going to get Kalie dear." Ella Himmen mused.

She looked away in embarrassment, even though her mother was teasing, and pulled the masher out of the mix. "Sorry, got caught up in my thoughts."

"Oh? I thought you were trying to go for a workout or something." The woman winked and she grinned.

"I get enough of a workout lugging books in my arms." She retorted, taping a bicep. "That and my two jobs give my entire body a workout as it is."

A patronizing hand patted her shoulder before Ella stepped away. "Well, I'll finish this up. Would you set the table for me please?"

She nodded and moved to the other counter with the overhead cupboards. After a few, arm-loaded trips, the table was set up rather nicely to her satisfaction and she went about setting the small things with. The brief break to her mind brought on another awareness...one that got a grin from her mother.

In the hot kitchen and dining room area, her stomach loudly protested its being ignored.

"I hope that turkey's done soon..." She muttered, setting the condiments around. A wry grin surfaced. "I don't know how much longer I can contain myself. I might start attacking the condiments."

Ella laughed. After a bit of silence, she grabbed the masher and held it in the air for her daughter. "Here. Snack on this while I check on the bird."

Dark green lit up as she hastily snatched it from her mother's grip. Mashed potatoes and sour cream liberally littered the metal utensil and she went about cleaning it off, using a single hand to continue setting the table. Neither had compunctions about eating potatoes and sour cream mixed in. It was surprisingly good that way, and she would've dipped the masher back in for seconds, if Ella hadn't bustled in with a bowl of stuffing.

Letting the woman bring every hot pan to the table without dropping them, she moved to the living room and plopped in a chair. It probably wasn't the best thing to do...as the sounds of her mother puttering feet away was a catalyst to help her thoughts spring back up.

'So what do I do now? A lot of me does NOT want to go into telling him about all the shit that's happened in my life. The last thing I want is him being sorry for me for a few bad choices that could've cost me dearly.'

Deep green darkened as she looked out an open window. Not many people knew of those worse choices. Sam was the only one who knew of the most horrible, and only by nearly catching her in the act, and a LOT of badgering. Her mother didn't know of half of them, which she didn't want the woman worrying over. Those instances came about from a depressed teenage girl and a broken heart. She would never be so stupid as to let herself go like that again.

Her head lolled as she let the masher go ignored. But therein lay the problem...

'Had Brad not helped screw me up in the beginning...maybe I wouldn't have been attracted to Arthur and end up doing myself more harm than even BRAD did.' A loathing stare settled on the brown carpet. Then perhaps she wouldn't have made all those bad choices in the REST of her life and let Sam hassle her into going out with Eugene.

A hand rubbed her forehead in weariness. 'I can't blame the poor guy for dumping me. I never allowed myself to feel anything for him really... I couldn't...not after what Brad and Arthur did to me. It was too soon...I didn't want to take those chances and have my heart broken a third time...'

She suddenly startled at finding feet in her field of vision and jerked green up.

"So you merry ray of sunshine...everything is set up."

She blinked and looked to the table in plain view. "Oh. Okay...good." She quickly hopped out of the chair and moved to put the masher in the sink before sitting down.

"Anything on your mind? You looked pretty down over there..."

She fought a grimace at how outward she was, but smiled instead. "Naw...I was just worried over something. No big deal." She lied, going for her utensils.

'Mom can never find out. I won't let her...it would kill her if she knew what I did.' She darkly vowed, letting her bangs shield her eyes.

After a quick, made-up grace, the two started dishing things up. "So," Ella started, "what're YOU thankful for this year?"

She smiled and went for her milk. A tiny tradition they made up between the two of them, but it never failed...her mother always made mention of it right when she had food in her mouth. There was nothing to ponder over. Just as she told Inaki, she was grateful to have such a person as her friend. "My recent pen pal who I met through fate." She grinned. "He's pretty cool. I'm also thankful for such good grades...my jobs...having such an understanding mother when it comes to being so far apart..." A finger tapped her chin in thought.

Ella smiled and looked to the turkey breast she was currently cutting. "And what about Sam and living with her? What about the friendship you two have? Not to mention the girl's generosity with everything since you two met."

Her nose wrinkled. "Do I HAVE to mention Samantha Merth right now??" She nearly whined. Ella smiled, but raised a brow. With a taxed sigh, she poked at the stuffing. "Fine...I appreciate everything about Sam. From her being my best friend and surrogate sister to her putting up with all my crap. And visa versa!"

Ella snorted. Samantha like a sister and the two couldn't be any closer than if they actually WERE sisters. Sam's annoying her daughter was right along that line too.

"And what're YOU thankful for this year mother-mine?"

Ella chuckled and took a drink of water to think. "One...I have a beautiful, healthy daughter."

Dark green good-naturedly rolled. "You say that EVERY year!" She playfully retorted, sticking her fork in Ella's face. "Think of something different!"

"But it's true. That's something I'm always grateful for. But if you want more...I'm thankful for my job, of course. Being able to own my own house and have my daughter frequent it whenever she can get away from her duties. I'm thankful to be alive and live in such a nice neighborhood. I'm thankful to have goals set for the future. And I'm thankful in knowing you're accomplishing a lot of the goals YOU set for yourself so far."

"You said pretty much the same things last year TOO." She dryly added. "Don't you ever find anything else to be thankful for?"

"What else DO you want me to be thankful for? Living in this country? Being able to have such choices to do what I want without a man in my life?"

"Like you need one."

"Precisely. Now don't interrupt me." Ella watched in amusement as her daughter promptly shoved a good-sized piece of turkey in her mouth. "I'm thankful and acknowledge every little thing that comes on this planet, in some shape or form. From the wood that built this house, to the bird on the table."

"Amen to that." She happily mumbled.

Ella tsked, but went for her own food.

~*~*~

The phone rang and she picked it up on the first ring, the cordless having been in her lap, awaiting the call. "What's the deal? You're five minutes late this year."

A huff sounded on the other line. "Excuse ME missy...but my stupid hermanos wouldn't shut the computer down. I know they did it just to piss me off cause they KNOW I call you every year."

She chuckled at the irked sound in Sam's voice. "Well...you probably scared them so bad with the threat of a sound thrashing that their fingers were shaking too much to hit the right keys."

Sam gave a rather evil laugh and smirked. "I see being away from my influence hasn't lessened your wit any." The two laughed. "That's a good thing...because you know mis hermanos are going to pick on you tomorrow."

"Like they always do?" She dryly asked.

"Don't worry...between you and me, we can take them!"

She giggled. "Don't sound so sure...your padres just might stop us."

"If they hide behind them again, yes."

She smiled and looked to the ceiling. The pause that followed was rather nice. It was one of those companionship silences the two girls could let hang and still feel close. At least...until Sam broke it and her happy reverie. "So did you write Inaki back yet? We can go mail that before you come here if you want."

She was silent, face becoming solemn. The letter thankfully managed to be avoided with dinner and dessert. Anticipating Sam's call also kept the earlier thoughts away, but now that it was brought back up, she was no closer to a decision than she was hours ago. "I haven't written him yet." She mumbled, a finger picking at the arm of the chair.

Sam's brows went up. "You don't sound very happy about that... ¿Digame?"

Teeth bit her lip. Did she confide these problems in Sam? The girl knew a good portion of them, most of them dating...but this wasn't Sam's concern. It was going to be her choice in the end whether or not to include anything in the return. "No sé..." She trailed off.

"¿Por favor chica? Come on, aren't we sisters? Or as close as we're going to get? Don't close off. You know that irritates me."

She felt a little guilty, even though she did have every intention of keeping this little, rather minute problem to herself. It wasn't that she wanted to spite Sam by not asking for advice - the girl was pretty good with it actually - but she was enough of a burden to her friend as it was. Still, she could never deny Sam when the girl asked in such a sincere tone of voice. "Inaki wants to know about my past."

There was a stretch of silence on the line. She knew that would shock Sam, or at least throw her for a loop. They both knew how guarded she was about that. "...I see. That explains your mood at least."

She nodded a little, even though it was unseen. "I didn't tell you...but Inaki broke up with his girlfriend because of me inviting him over and I was just offering reassurances. I didn't think he would ask for anything else."

Though Sam wondered what K said, there was one MAJOR fact that shadowed all other thought. Inaki was single now?! A sly grin slowly started spreading its way across Sam's face...a planning, all-around evil look appearing. "Oh...REALLY?"

She scowled and threw the root problem onto the backburner when she heard that tone. "Wipe that grin off your face!" She growled, gripping the phone. "And don't EVEN!"

"I have no idea what you mean."

The glower darkened. "You're as innocent as I am a virgin, so don't try to fool me."

Silence. "...That...was a comparison...I hope you NEVER make again!"

She grinned, mood lifting a little. It didn't last long. "I'm SERIOUS Sam! I have no intention on dating ANYONE, at least until I finish college...so get any of those thoughts out of your head! You were horrible when he was taken, I can only fear what evil plots you'll hatch now that he's free."

The grin widened a notch. "Then start quaking."

"SSAAAMMMM! NO!!" She whined.

"Don't worry...I'll deal with the getting-you-two-together aspect when I cross that bridge."

Her face took on a pained look. "I am SO going to hurt you when you pick me up tomorrow."

"You can't, I'm your ride."

Silence descended again, bringing the depth of the first situation with it. "I don't know what I should do." She finally confessed. The answer would be easy enough for a normal person. The two had known each other for a few months so even a LITTLE information could be given...

But Kalie Himmen wasn't any normal person, as Sam found that out half a year into living with the girl. Instead of an immediate answer, Sam weighed the knowledge again Inaki's request. The guy really DIDN'T know what he was asking for. To open up such a Pandora's Box of information...

K's past wasn't one to gloat about.

Finally, no good answer came. "Well...you know I always try to help you make the right decisions, even if you don't like them... I know this is still yours to make, but I'm throwing in my two cents here. You don't HAVE to tell Inaki a lot of your past...or even much. You could tell him a few bits of happier times and leave it at that." A thumbnail thoughtfully went into her mouth. "At least, that's what I think." Sam added. "I mean...how long have you known the guy for?"

That was more of a rhetorical question than an actual one, but it didn't lessen the guilt any. "I know... I know I should tell him something...it's only fair with as much as he's told me..." A finger nervously tapped on the armrest. "But...I'm thinking that if I DO tell him even a little bit, he'll think it's okay to ask for more. Then I'd have to tell him no and I don't want to ruin what little we've built so far. I'd like there to be trust between us."

"Entiendo... But you have to weigh your options and find out how much you want to sacrifice to keep from hurting yourselves."

"That's what I've been doing all afternoon!" She grit out. A hand clenched her head in frustration. A deep frown appeared. "This is pissing me off! I keep coming up with more cons than pros in telling him, but the few pros are rather weighty in themselves! I have NO clue what I should do, but I have to do SOMETHING..."

"Te calmas chica..." Sam soothed. "I think you need to step away from this before it gives you a migraine. You're always cranky when you get those from too much studying."

Her lips twitched, but she did as told and took a deep breath. After a patient second, things seemed a little less muddled when she purposely blanked her mind and thought of nothing. "I honestly don't know if I can do that." She finally mumbled, feeling like a coward.

"Then don't. Like I said...entiendo. I know your side, and I know Inaki's reasons for wanting information. I think if you understand Inaki's side, it'll help you make your choice easier."

She nearly pouted. But the girl was right. "You know...it's times like these that almost make me forget how juvenile you are eighty percent of the time. ALMOST."

"Hey - I'm not that bad!"

She smirked. "No...you just ACT like it."

A background noise came just as Sam sputtered a retort, halting the girl. After a second, it died down from Sam's shouting away from the phone, even though it reached through rather well. An annoyed sigh sounded. "Mis hermanos want to use the line again. I swear...they love that stupid internet too much."

An evil grin sprouted. "We'll have to fix that tomorrow..."

A wicked gleam entered blue eyes. "You must dispense your plans to me in the morning, oh wise one."

"Yo, Sammy! Come on already!! We haven't got all night!"

"I am DEFINITELY more mature than those two." Sam growled.

She giggled. "I'll let you go. Pick me up the normal time. I should be up by then."

"Hey, if you aren't, that allows me to wake you up MY way."

"You do and I am NOT cooking ANYTHING next week!" She threatened, smirking.

Sam whined until another call came from her brothers. "Shut UP already! I hear you!!" She retorted across the hall. "I have to go hurt my brothers now...have fun with madre and tell her I was cut off before I could say hi."

"I'm sure she'll understand."

"Hasta mañana K."

"Mañana." She echoed, hanging up. The humor of her best friend lingered for a little bit until the original problem returned and dropped her good mood. Even with another 'heart-to-heart' with Sam, she was still no closer to reaching a decision than earlier. She groaned a sigh and got up to put the phone back.

Just as her hand finished situating it against the wall charger, Ella's head popped out from the hallway. "Oh...are you two done already?"

She grinned. "Samantha got cut short and had to go hurt her brothers." She mused.

Ella's head shook with a small sigh, but she smiled and disappeared for her room again.

When the quiet returned, she headed into her room and silently clicked the door shut. A quick flop onto her bed and all was still. 'This is getting me nowhere. I've thought about it...gone over what I should and could do. I've gotten Sam's advice - which was almost the same as what I've been thinking. I should ignore all that and try to find what **I **want to do.' Dark green closed as she forced her mind clear and rested for a while. Without knowing it, she lost conscious enough to consider it a catnap.

When green opened again, the sun was entirely gone and her room was pitch black. A glance at the glow from her alarm found it past ten. She blinked and sat up. A hand scratched her head as she tried to recall exactly what she fell asleep for. It didn't take long. But at least she had her answer.

Sliding off the bed, she left the room and headed into the kitchen. Hands dug for a notepad and pencil before returning to the solitude of her old room. She momentarily cradled the notebook in her lap and chewed on the pencil. 'How to start this...' She didn't want to put her wordings in any way that would create a rift between them. If that was the case, she'd change her mind.

_Inaki,_

_I was amazed to get your letter so fast. It gave me something to do while I waited for my mother's cooking to get done._

_So how was your Thanksgiving? Did you do anything special? Me, I had a nice dinner with my mom...same traditions as last year. Sam called, like she did last year also, and we had a nice talk. Sometimes I'm so happy she's my friend...not only does she give good advice, but she's great for a laugh._

_I'm dancing around the subject, aren't I? I don't mean to really...but you know I'm a shy one. Not to mention my past is a touchy subject...as you kind of got from my initial reluctance to speak of it._

_In the beginning, you asked about my past and whether or not I told you or you picked up on my dislike of speaking about it I don't remember. I'd have to go through all your letters to find if I did and right now I'm writing this at my mom's house, so that's kind of impossible._

_Again I dance around. Sorry about that._

_I thought about your request all day, no joke. I know it's a simple yes or no for asking someone about their childhood or a few years ago, but it's not with me. I had to take a nap in order to clear my mind enough to make a decision._

_I don't know how to tell you this without you feel bad or getting angry. I don't want to do anything to harm what friendship we've built by saying the wrong thing, but I know I will probably make tension by saying it regardless...so I hope I don't offend you._

_I'm sorry to say I decline your offer. It's kind of a mixture of want and can't. I don't want to tell anything of my past and screw things up, and I also can't because I have a feeling it will do the same. I like who I am around you and I don't want that to change. I don't want what WE have to change._

_I know this all terribly vague and mysterious. I can't reassure you that my life has been a bed of roses...unless you count the thorns over the nice smell. You know how independent I am, and because of that, I don't like taking pity or sympathy from people. That's why I can't tell you details...just a general answer. There's more than that of course, but that's just one reason._

_Again, I'm sorry it came down to this. I was hoping you'd never ask and just deal with the present me, but I can't blame you for that. It's not that I guard my past, but I'm certainly not proud of it. There are very few people who know anything of it, in any detail...and only because they stuck with me and / or asked so many times that I couldn't take it anymore._

_But please...don't do that. Don't badger or harass me to know. I don't like writing this type of letter when all have been nice and humorous so far, so please don't make me repeat this... Please?_

_Anyway...I...I think I'll cut off now. It's rather late and I should get to bed._

_Happy Thanksgiving,_

_K_

_November 27, 2097_

She stared at the paper for what seemed an eternity with dead eyes before a shuddery exhale left her lips. She harshly swallowed, finding her throat dry. 'I can only hope he accepts this horrible of an answer...'

Can't and want were the same almost, but it was more want than can't. Still, the two warred together.

She didn't WANT to tell anything because if she did, she would drag him under with the emotions she tried so very hard to lock away and never feel again. She wanted to spare Inaki all that horror and pain; she never wanted him to know the truth of her past. It was drama and depression central...and she was ashamed and angered by it.

And she COULDN'T tell Inaki anything, because if she did...she ran the high risk of losing him. She didn't want him to get fed up with her ways and THAT side. So many people she knew in the start of college stopped talking to her because of her past. She lost friends because of it and stopped trying to reach out in this new city.

It was a horrible cycle. If she told people about her life, they grew disgusted or unnerved and ignored her. But when they left, she closed off even more and stopped making friends. Her closing off only resulted in those that stuck around to worry about her and keep asking what was wrong - thus the cycle started again.

There was only one way she could break it. To forget as much of her past as she could and act like nothing was wrong. To work hard for her future with school and devote herself to her studies. To make everyone think she was a bright, friendly, hard-worker.

To those that never knew her past or THAT side had no idea what she was hiding. Therefore, they didn't ask questions. And as long as she could KEEP it that way, she wouldn't lose them. 'I'll do ANYTHING to keep that from happening with Inaki.' She darkly vowed, trudging to her bag. 'I feel more connected to him than my high school friends. It's just like with Sam...there was an instant bond there. That means something and I'll be DAMNED if I let go of that!'

**Spanish language will be translated under the Japanese when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.**

**Translations: ** Mis hermanos-My brothers Padres-Parents ¿Digame?-Tell me? No sé-I don't know Entiendo-I understand

Te calmas chica-Calm down girl Hasta mañana-Until tomorrow Mañana-Tomorrow


	23. Ch 23

She went to bed with dismal hopes and emotions over her latest letter to Inaki. The sleep helped immensely and the morning sun only assisted to strengthen her resolve to keep Sam from seeing the mood talked about over the phone. The girl picked her up as normal; the letter was mailed before heading back to Miami and the Merth household. Her decision was the right choice in light of what awaited her there and the emotions her REAL family could never invoke.

"Mujera! Come back here with that damn chord NOW!"

"MAKE me!"

"Casey Merth you'd BETTER stop swearing or you'll regret it come dinner time!" Missy Merth loudly threatened.

Casey cringed, but careened around a corner after his laughing prey, glaring holes in her back. "GIVE. ME. THAT. CHORD!"

"Come and get it Cassie!" She humorously called, waving the bunched up computer tower's wall plug-in in the air. She used Casey's hated nickname - one Sam derived for him to annoy him - knowing he hated it.

The front door was in view, the inside wooden door left open from when Sam took off with the internet jack with Kevin at HER heels. Wasting precious seconds, she slowed enough to keep from slamming into the screen door and jerked it open before rocketing outside again.

"Watch the property!" Carl Merth warned as she shot past, rocking on the porch swing and watching.

"Sorry dad!" She mused, shooting a split-second apologetic look before rounding the house.

"You too Casey!"

Casey Merth skidded to a halt at his father's more stern voice. "Yes father. Come BACK here K!"

The revenge chase for being interrupted in last night's phone call ended up in the backyard with both girls nearly crashing into each other in effort to get away from the two boys. "I'm about thirty seconds in front of Kevin." Sam hastily reported, chest heaving.

"I'm not even half that with Cassie." Sam smiled. Without explanation, she grabbed the phone jack and shoved the tower chord into Sam's hand. An evil grin surfaced when she spotted Kevin over Sam's shoulder and waved the chord, just as Casey's voice grew louder. "Come and get it Kev!!" With her new chaser, she spun for the alley and hopped the chain-link fence, taking off down the block.

Sam laughed and took off in the direction she came from with her youngest brother on her heels. "Tired yet Cassie??" The chord was waved in the air again.

"This is getting OLD hermana! Just give us back our computer stuff already!" Casey's exasperated, huffing voice whined.

She loudly snorted and rounded the other side of the house, waving a quick acknowledgement to her father in passing. "This is what you get for messing with a true mastermind. Never underestimate Kalie Himmen!"

Said mastermind took off up the sidewalk to a neighboring house with a tiring Merth brother about a dozen paces behind. Kevin was no match for someone who rode her bike everywhere and had the endurance to take it up hills while shouldering a heavy book bag for years. Her stamina outlasted his and soon she stopped twenty feet away, feet planted to run, and watched as her surrogate brother panted for breath.

"It was just getting fun too Kev." She playfully pouted, jangling the feeble wire.

"It was...getting...ANNOYING...K! Just...give us back...our STUFF...already!"

She grinned. "This outa teach you to respect your 'elders'." She mocked, taking off in a lazy jog to the house. By now Sam would have tired her brother as well, though the girl would be worse than her, and they could regroup and find other ways of payback torture.

The plan was disgustingly simple and effortless. Find a way to separate brothers from the computer - the source of distraction until long afternoon hours passed till dinner - dismantle the most crucial pieces of the electronics, and take off with a loud decree of 'look what **I** got!'

She missed this. A LOT. The ability to let go without fear of wondering what would slip from her life and able to be herself for once. This mischievous side she kept hidden away for the most part, the more evil parts anyway, and only let loose snippets to Sam and Chance from time to time.

It was great to feel like a child. The last time she'd been this carefree was on Independence Day when she spent the day at the Merth household. This place held a plethora of better memories than even her home in Westchester.

Walking up the front walk, she smiled at Carl when he met her eyes and raised a brow. She plopped down on the concrete steps next to the swing and took a few deep breaths to calm her heart. A hand held up the still-coveted wire and she beamed like a child.

Carl eyed it in confusion for a split second, knowing his daughter had that not too long ago. "Is he dead?"

"Kevin? Nah...he's just probably passed out on the sidewalk until he can breathe. Casey I don't know about...I switched with Sammy in the backyard and took off down the alley."

Carl chuckled and pushed off the concrete porch, letting comfortable silence of the neighborhood return. After a minute, he patted the wood swing in invitation and Kalie eagerly joined him. "You two are vicious to my sons, you know that?"

"Oh it's nothing they won't get over." She dismissed, a hand waving.

"Perhaps, but you do realize this is going to spawn another war."

She grinned. Ah, the wars... Started back when the four were just beginning to truly act like siblings and not just friends. If either looked back, it could be said that the first was what solidified the bonding process of an outsider being accepted as part of the blood family. Something small led into joking challenge, which led to a long list of pranks...each becoming more outrageous and seemingly unable to be topped than the last. It finally ended when both parents got involved and made everyone shake hands and grow up.

Though they played nice for a while, it never took much for another war to get started - boys verses girls / brothers verses sisters, proving they never did grow up...even if every prank and joke helped them bond even more than before.

She shrugged and brought both legs up to cross on the seat. "They can try...but Sam and I always win." A smirk appeared. "They're just not as innovative as we are."

"I really don't like the sound of that..."

She giggled and waved a hand again. "Don't worry...it won't be anything illegal or highly destructive. I have too much homework for that."

Carl laughed and shook his head with a sigh.

More silence descended until Kevin slowly ambled up the walk and stopped on the bottom step. Without a word, a hand stuck out with a demanding palm up and matching look on his face. She innocently blinked back, trying not to grin. The chord was in a loose fist resting on the swing. "Yes? Can I help you?"

Kevin sent a small glare to dark green. She was SO enjoying this, he KNEW it! "Phone jack. NOW." The hand shook once in emphasis.

The grin broke free as she held the chord up in the safety of her personal space. "Oh, this? What's the magic word?" She singsonged, trying not to laugh.

The glare darkened as Kevin went up another step, making an unsuccessful snatch for the prize. "NOW!" He nearly yelled, looking put out.

"No I do believe the original word is please, but since you're so insistent..." She let the wire float just outside her bubble and it was hastily snatched up. She giggled as Kevin sourly marched into the house and practically slammed the interior door shut. "Ah," She crooned in a stretch, "I just LOVE annoying those two!"

Carl shook his head in helpless amusement. "You and my hijanever change...hija."

A toothy smile met him as she leaned on the porch swing and waited for Sam's arrival. "If I did, the wars wouldn't be as much fun. Not to mention those two would run us into the ground." Seconds later, Sam's head popped out from the front door. It was unexpected and she voiced her confusion. "What're you doing in the house? I figured you'd skim the property first."

Sam pouted and shut the door after before sitting on the steps. "Casey managed to tackle me just outside another round of the house. I've got grass-stained, skinned knees to prove it too." She grimaced and looked. True enough, twin red spots with faint colors of green were the battle marks of another mini-war. Sam scratched the itching wounds and leaned against a pillar holding up the porch roof. "So how did you make out? Any injuries or losses?"

Another childlike beam appeared. "My stamina beat him of course, and I waited his arrival here. You would've loved it. Too bad you had to miss him demanding the jack back."

Sam snickered and held a palm out. It was slapped in a hearty high-five. "You go girl. I WOULD'VE loved to see that! But you do realize what this means..."

She nodded, becoming a little more serious...and a little expectant. "We have to start planning our battle defenses and offenses."

Sam's palms rubbed together vigorously. "This should be FUN! We haven't had one since...oh geez...it's been months hasn't it?"

"I think before July at least."

"You two are sadistic. I'm getting out of here before you somehow manage to involve ME." Carl suddenly stood and gave his blood daughter an affectionate ruffle on the head before retreating inside.

Seeing room, Sam scrambled off the ground and on the swing. A third silence descended, always comfortable. "So...liking it so far?"

Green shot a sideways glance at her best friend before looking at the street area again. "You know I always do."

"That's good..."

There was a brief pause. "Thanks for inviting me again this year." Instead of words, the sound of a light slap sounded on her arm, getting a jump. "What...what was THAT for?"

Light blue glared. "You don't need to thank me for THAT! Geez woman!"

Green glared halfheartedly. "You know I always have to thank you. I mean, you could've left me with MY mom for the day."

"Don't sound so let down about THAT..."

"You know what I mean." She paused again. "I just wanted to thank you for including me."

Blonde swished slowly as they rocked. A hand extended and grabbed her friend's, giving a light squeeze. "You're always welcome here...you know that. But since you insist......you're welcome." She smiled and scooted over a little, touching their shoulders in a gesture that was more sibling love than anything.

~*~*~

With a warning that none of them start anything at the dinner table, Missy agreed to set the table. With six people - most of them hungry - it didn't take long before all were seated with hands clasped in prayer. "Come Lord Jesus, be our guest...let these gifts to us be blessed. Amen."

"Can we dig in now??"

"Yes..." Missy nodded, letting four hungry teens to grab a few things before starting in.

After plates were full and everyone was attacking them, little talk was made. It was almost an unspoken rule that no one get between a teenager and smells of delicious food that'd been driving them crazy all afternoon. But after initial shoveling slowed to normal bites, it seemed conversation could be managed.

"So Kalie, did you have fun at your mother's?"

She looked to Missy with a mouth full of Spanish rice and managed a small nod. "Very much...it was good spending time with her." She mumbled.

Missy smiled, even though she sent a warning look to the girl for speaking with her mouth full. "Always a good thing for a mother and her child." Aged eyes speared light blue, which cluelessly blinked through a mouth of turkey.

"Yes... And thank you for inviting me again this year." She continued, getting a glare from Sam. There was a small kick delivered to somewhere between shin and ankle that smarted a little and green glared back.

Missy tsked and wagged a finger in her face. "You are always welcome over here young lady...and you can stop thanking us anytime now."

"SEE?" Sam chorused, sticking her tongue out.

"But it is always nice."

She smirked in triumph and stuck her tongue out in return. "NYAA."

Both Kevin and Casey, having been occupied with eating, snickered at their older sister's demise.

She insisted on helping to clear the table for not having done anything to help prepare the meal. Because of that, she was allowed the first slice of pumpkin pie, getting a whine from the other three.

As a change of pace, the family took dessert on the front porch and watched the rest of the sun die in cooling weather. There wasn't much talk made as everyone enjoyed the treat. None was really needed in a family style moment.

She couldn't feel more apart of something than this moment. With Kevin and Casey trying to get chunks of cool-whip off each other's plates, Missy and Carl amiably on the swing watching, and Sam just on her right, she felt like this was the family she never had and always wanted. It wasn't her mother's fault for never having another kid or managing to remarry or stay married - she wasn't blaming that. She liked the fact that her mother was as independent as she was, it showed Ella hadn't given in to the emotions that could've crippled her after the divorce.

Her mother was a strong person that way. She had to respect, even on a small level, the way she kept things running in her single life and didn't hook up with any other guy. There was bitterness from her first and only husband, which was normal. It'd only been ten years since then...there was still anger at being so thoroughly deceived by a man they both trusted greatly...even if her mother's managed to cool in that decade.

Her jaw clenched and she leaned against the house siding. That would forever be a touchy subject with her, along with her mother. They would always distrust that man whose last name she was bound to. If it was possible to change her last name to her mother's maiden, it wasn't cheap and neither could afford it. 

She mentally sighed and stabbed the half-eaten piece. She had to stop thinking this way...it only angered her and then it ruined the mood of anyone she was around. Hadn't she learned stuffing this away by forgetting and ignoring it was the only way to go? 'But still...I can't ignore it ALL the time. I think I'd explode if I didn't have an outlet to express all that repressed rage when I'm alone...'

Her hand suddenly dipped as something down on her plate. Silverware clacking against china brought her back to the present...only to find Kevin eating a large chunk of her pie. She glared, but smirked dryly after a thought. "You now have my cooties...how does that make you feel?"

Kevin pretended to gag as Casey comically shied away from him. "Man...you WOULD ruin a good joke like that." He complained. "But it was worth it...you weren't even paying attention."

"Yea K...that left you with the crust basically." Sam agreed, suspiciously eyeing the girl. From the waning light, she could see a darkness to emerald green...one she didn't like.

She ignored Sam's gaze and tapped her fork against her teeth in thought. So...the war was on, was it? Green stared at both brothers, searching with an amused expression. Her fork extended upon finding a grin after a second. "On guard?" She knowingly questioned.

Both brothers had matching evil expressions, full of joking intent, and extended their forks inches away. "On guard." After a second, Sam's joined them and the four clinked to seal the newest challenge.

Above, two parents sighed and rolled their eyes. "Just don't burn the house down..." Missy wearily warned.

Carl stuffed a piece of pie in his mouth and wisely kept quiet.

**Spanish language will be translated under the Japanese when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.**

**Translations: **Mujera-Woman Hija-Daughter


	24. Ch 24

In the silence, he paced in front of two beds that made up the bulk of his and Jayden's room. The soft thumping of tabi feet sounded as his heels connected with the tatami.

His mind was in turmoil and it wouldn't straighten out. He'd finally retreated to his room for privacy, but the noise of the backyard filtered through the open door and his parents' room across the hall.

He didn't understand it. What could be so hard about such a simple request? And why was he letting it get to him so much and not agreeing with her comply?

Solemn brown speared a second glance at the desk where the letter lay, before he whipped around in another circle. He couldn't believe her need for secrecy, nor could he figure out reasons for what seemed like such a dire, mysterious explanation. Trying to figure out just what she was hiding in her past was driving him nuts the most.

'Gods, what if it's illegal?? Could she have killed someone and just not want to talk about it?' He stopped and disbelieving wide eyes stared at the white wall of his room. 'Could it deal with drugs?? Or - oh shit - prostitution?!' His bangs swished from a harsh shake of his head, ever-present braid slapping his cheeks.

No...not K! She didn't seem like the type to get into selling her body or drugs...OR killing anyone for that matter!

He resumed pacing.

'Then what the hell IS it?? If it's not illegal - which I HIGHLY doubt! - I don't see what the big deal is! Why won't she just TELL me?? What is so HORRIBLE that she can't even confide in me? Doesn't she trust me at ALL?' He wanted to know...he wanted to know BADLY. Her asking him not to ask - almost pleading he thought - just put wood to the fire. Now he wanted to know even more than before, and he found himself fighting to give her what she wanted and never bring it up again.

But she sounded so PAINED... Almost depressed.

Hands covered his face as he sighed and tried to figure out what he should do. Letting it go was no big deal...except he really wanted to know. He wanted to know what made up this girl called his friend. After all, how could he be friends with someone he didn't even know?

He talked about himself easily because he feared nothing when it came to his life. He grew up with a large family who owned their own business, shared a room with his sister, dated a lot of girls since middle school, had a small group of close-knit friends since middle school, held a job, and had plans to marry in the future when he met the right one.

His life in a nutshell...it was boring enough with nothing exciting to fill it in.

Well...there was ONE thing...but it wasn't anything he'd tell even his best friends without getting labeled a freak. No one outside the family knew about THAT little...episode and not even Jayden breathed a word to anyone.

He sighed, hands dropping. He was at a stalemate. With that one coveted instance, he could see why K would guard her past, but not to the extent to which she wouldn't give ANY of it away! He had a feeling if he asked about the better parts, or something during her high school years, she would rebuff him again with the same emotional response.

A hand went to his forehead. This was going to give him a headache...

The door nearly banged against the wall, and he practically jumped out of his skin. It would have left a dent, if Jayden's hand hadn't whipped out and grabbed it before then. "Damn it nee-chan!" He growled, a hand over his heart. "Don't DO that!"

"HERE you are!" She retorted, scowling. Tabi feet marched in and stopped in front of him. Without warning, a hand whipped out, grabbed the shoulder blade-length braid, and gave it a yank. "Okaasan and obaasan wanted to know where you'd run off to and made me look for you!" She gave the ebony locks another yank, feeling satisfaction at his pained, indignant cry. "You should've stayed with everyone else! I WAS spending time with Chad!"

"In public?" He kidded, trying to get her hand away from his precious braid. An evil smirk appeared when she gained a suspicious look. "Isn't that indecent?"

Jayden's cheeks reddened at his innuendo, but she slapped a shoulder. "MOU!" She growled, leaning closer. "You hentai! Get those thoughts out of your head! Sheesh, you just said that because you haven't had a woman in a while, have you??"

For blushing over the intimate implications he just pinned her with, Jayden was sure blunt when it came to sex... His face warmed a little, even though they picked on each other over that topic as well. Why he should be embarrassed about not having slept with a girl in front of his sister was beyond him. It wouldn't have been so bad if he was getting that statement from one of the guys...

"Mou...baka." He muttered, stepping away. Arms crossed over the bulky sleeves of his kimono.

"Anyway," A hand waved between them, "get your butt back downstairs so okaasan and obaasan will stop asking where you are. Some of the neighbors wanted to chat and they'll keep asking where you are, and so will the others. So get going."

He really wasn't looking forward to talking with over three dozen of their neighbors right now...and looking forward to playing part of the host even less. But his oya and sofubo suggested having a cookout to celebrate the spirit of Chichibuyo Matsuri, though they didn't hold the festivals anymore. The backyard area was strung up with colorful Japanese lanterns that they kept in storage. The grill had been working since two and now it was ten...with four dozen people or so wandering the backyard.

His face scrunched up in a less than happy pose. "Do I HAVE to?" He whined.

Jayden reached out and yanked his braid again. "YES. We didn't dress up in traditional clothing - with me wearing this damn immovable furisode - for NOTHING!"

Brown looked to the light lime green fabric sprinkled with small blue and red flowers. He smirked at seeing the dark blue obi covering a good portion of her ribcage and stomach. "Must suck to be an onna, ne?" He kidded, pulling away when her hand moved for his hair. "Leave my hair ALONE!" He glared.

"Then MOVE. If you don't want to spend the whole night around just the neighbors, invite your friends! I'm sure they wouldn't mind free food, even if they don't celebrate these holidays."

He humphed, but the idea was a good one. When was the last time he hung out with the guys? "If I do, will you leave me alone the rest of the night??"

She gave a disdainful sniff. "Why would I want to spend anymore time around you in the house than I have to when Chad's here?"

He scowled, but made a mental note if any of the musketeers came over to ruin her time for that retort. "Fine then. Out of my way."

Jayden glared at that. With sudden a passive look, an arm grandly swept to the door as she bowed. As he passed, wickedness crossed through her face and a hand shot to the back hakama ties...yanking upward right where she knew the fundoshi ties would be.

"AAHH, KORA!!" He squirmed and tried to dislodge some of the pain. "ONNA!" He growled, looking over his shoulder.

Jayden smirked. "Serves you right ototo." Equal brown hardened to a stony glare. "Don't EVER order me around." She shouldered past and nearly bumped him to the floor before heading down the hall.

Now alone to fix everything better, he shut the door and untied his hakama. He quickly undid the warped fundoshi and retied it the way it was, feeling better and vowing revenge for something so twisted. 'If she didn't get some of her ideas from me for pranks, I'd wonder where the hell she gets those sadistic thoughts from. She is NOT getting away with that one - no one messes with the manliness of Yamoi Inaki and gets away unscathed!' A malicious smile appeared as he headed directly for the cordless phone, taking it into the basement for privacy.

The four musketeers were needed in a mission of this necessity.

Though they had nothing to do with it, Chass, Kelar, and Robert had no qualms when it came to helping him pull pranks at WHOEVER was the target. He was just as bad.

"Hello? Kelar speaking."

"Yo buddy, you free right now?"

"Not a damn thing going on Inaki. What's up?"

"Chichibuyo Matsuri."

"English...please?"

He snorted. "It's a festival we're kind of celebrating. The neighborhood is over and there's a rather large buffet. Oh and I need you for revenge pranks. Interested?"

"Free food and terrorizing the populace? Always, what's up?"

He grinned and relayed a few thoughts he had, plus the reasons behind them, getting the second musketeer to join his cause. "Call Rob and tell him to come over. I'll get Chass over here and then we can have some fun."

"Can't wait buddy. This is going to be good."

The two hung up and ten minutes later, he had the cordless back where it was and gave a sudden look to his clothes when a thought struck. None of the three were Japanese and therefore didn't celebrate any of his holidays. So they'd never seen him in ancestral clothing. A grin sprouted. This was going to be funny as hell when they arrived and saw everyone dressed up like in those hokey samurai movies. What he wouldn't give for a camera in twenty-five minutes.

Just as he stopped at the edge of the porch screen, his hisofusan wandered in eyesight with his otousan, both in some of their better hakama and kimono. His hisofusan had on a nice-looking haori while his father had a michiyuki that matched his clothes. He fit right in with his hakama and kimono, the haori he took off upon entering the house resting on the table behind him.

He resisted the urge to snicker. Everyone in this yard dressed up in traditional clothing, save for Chad who wasn't Japanese. His friends were going to stick out like a sore thumb.

"Oi, magomusuko...can you come here for a second?"

He relented and made his way through the throngs littering the engawa. He had a few minutes to kill, but he wanted to goose the three when they showed up! Some fifteen, twenty minutes later, having lost track of time, he was still helping his obaasan as she was preparing a few things to cook and couldn't lift them all.

A second ring to the doorbell sounded throughout some of the house, dulled the second it got to the back engawa.

"Why do you think he's not answering?"

"Hell if I know...he said to come over for pranking."

"At least we know someone's here with all the noise..."

Lights of the backyard floated into the night when they approached in Kelar's car. They knew of Inaki's heritage and therefore didn't want to be rude and just walk around. Who knew what his grandparents or great grandparents would say about that. NO ONE wanted the eagle eye of Inaki's grandmother!

Robert nibbled on his lip and rang the bell again, hearing noise come to the front. "I say screw standing out front and let's just go out back."

"Honey, that's not nice...we shouldn't be so rude. You'd embarrass all of us if you did that." Jolette answered.

Robert looked to his girlfriend as she patted his arm. She was sprinkled with Japanese characteristics and held some of the faith, but not to the amount that Inaki did.

Suddenly the inside door swung open and all four blinked in shock at the vision that presented herself. "Konban wa. Anata-tachi wa...?"

They stepped back when the screen door swung out, peculiar socks peeking out from under a very colorful kimono adorning a middle-aged woman. This was NOT anyone from Inaki's family! They all knew his family from visits, and this woman was NOT part of the household! This was the right house...so what was going ON??

Jolette took the initiative since she was the only one with a real clue. The others knew some Japanese, but they lived in the more English sections of the city and didn't bother to learn other than the bottom-of-the-barrel basics. She gave a small, quick bow and smiled. "Konban wa. Watashi wa Jolette desu. Is Yamoi Inaki-san here?"

"Ah, Yamoi-chan... Yes, please come in, but carry your shoes with you." Rob, Chass, and Kelar exchanged looks but did as told. When they passed the porch door, they were allowed to put their shoes on and the woman started walking away. "Inaki-chan?? Anata-tachi no tomadachi wa koko desu!"

The four took in the mass amount of traditional clothing, Jolette the only not really fazed. "If I'd have known everyone was going to dress up, I'd have brought a furisode of my own."

"Oi! Minna!" Four pairs of eyes swung over to a loud voice and the three guys blinked at seeing Inaki in similar dress.

"Yo dude, what's up with the threads??"

He stopped and grinned, wishing he had that camera! He did a quick circle, letting the guys check out his clothes for the first time. "Like?" A thumb jerked to everything behind him. "It's a festival. We ALWAYS dress up for the holidays. It gives us an excuse."

Jolette smiled and patted his arm. "Well you look very nice Inaki-san."

Brown blinked in shock. "Jolette-san? What're YOU doing here??"

Rob gained his attention. "She was at my house when Kelar called and asked if she could come because she hadn't in a while and wanted to celebrate too. I didn't see the problem."

Kelar grinned. "Yea, we can ditch her with the local natives and go pick on your sister." Kelar was promptly elbowed by Jolette and smacked by Robert defending his girl.

Jolette sighed. "As tactless as you are Kelar, I do agree with your statement. I don't like picking on Jayden-san so I'll busy myself with talking to your oya, Inaki-san."

He nodded and a hand absently waved. "They're around here somewhere. I think okaasan had on a bright orange kimono and otousan had on blue and orange."

"Just don't go warning his sister what we're going to do!" Chass retorted.

Jolette slapped Chass's shoulder, but nodded to Inaki and headed off with a smile.

The three converged on him. "Why the HELL didn't you TELL us people would be dressed like this?! I feel like a moron in my own clothes!" Rob hissed, glaring.

"Ditto man."

He shrugged, trying not to smile. "Oi, I forgot to mention it until I hung up with Kelar. Just be grateful this is not an everyday occurrence."

"I think we'd have to pick on you even more if that happened." His hand shot out and cuffed Kelar on the shoulder. "Hey! Everyone is against me... That's harassment and I don't have to take it!"

"Bakaro uresai... Mou." He muttered, turning to scan for his sister.

"I know you're in your cultural zone right now dude, but let's keep it to English, okay? We won't get the plan if you spout it all in Japanese."

He smirked and cast a sideways glance. "Nanto kimi hanashimasu..."

Chass groaned. "Great...just GREAT."

After a few more jabs to annoy his friends, they finally located his sister and snuck around with some of the first plans. It'd been a waste to ruin such good food, but with the look on Jayden's face when she stuck the sushi in her mouth he was REALLY wishing he had that camera! It was also bad to waste good green tea - and ANY tea for that matter... - but again it was worth it to see her spit it out from the vinegar they laced it with.

The only bad part about all that was Jayden eventually pinned them after they hid behind her and Chad in the bushes, making loud kissy noises to embarrass the two. That botched badly...partially because Jayden practically tore her nice furisode running after them, and also because she vowed revenge for such blatant embarrassment if it was the last thing she did.

"Man...she sure can run with only a foot to work with!"

"Your sister is RUTHLESS dude."

He flopped onto the wood floor of the dark dojo, having locked his sister out when they retreated inside. Jayden left promptly after a few poundings and yelling. He was safe as long as she couldn't pry the door open. No matter how pissed she was at anything he did to her, she wouldn't destroy property just to get her hands on him.

The noise outside populated the quiet just enough to make it comfortable. The four remained sprawled on the floor, shoes haphazardly lining the tiles of the small genkan. He had enough sense to order them to slip out of their sneakers with the logical answer that he got done polishing the floor about a week ago and wanted it to stay nice for a little longer or they were coming back to do it themselves.

These quiet times, though rare, were nice because they were always comfortable and he loved them. Whenever he was with the guys he felt different than if he was with the males of the family. It was hard to describe, but this setting never failed to make him content. The silence let his mind wander and brought up earlier, unsettled troubles. "Oi...if Jolette or Gretta didn't want to tell you something if you asked, would you ask them again if you really wanted to know?"

Chass and Robert looked over with odd looks, Kelar included. "Where'd THAT come from man??"

"What do you want to know for?"

"Exactly as I said." He muttered, leaning up on his elbows. "If there was something about Jolette or Gretta - their pasts for example - that you wanted to know rather badly, but they didn't want to tell...would you keep asking until they spilled?"

Silence met his question as the three stared at him. Finally, Rob shook his head and fell back to the boards. "I'm too confused about that to answer. You need to restate that so I get you."

Brown rolled. "It's not rocket science! It's a question about chicks!"

Robert cringed. "You're lucky Jolette isn't nearby to hear that. She's slap you silly."

Kelar smirked and made a few whipping noises in Robert's direction...where he received a lazy slap on the leg for it. He avoided the second and laughed. "I'm serious man; your woman has you whipped."

Robert scowled. "I am a free man I'll have you know...Jolette does not have my balls in the palm of her hand."

He snickered. "Except for certain days of the week?"

"DUDE!"

He laughed and rolled out of Robert's reach. "Joudan, joudan! But I was serious about that question you two. What would you do? And Kelar...with any girl you talk to."

The three quieted enough to think over a request.

Chass shrugged. "I don't push Gretta into anything she doesn't want. If I badger her, it's not that often..."

"Me either. Do you REALLY think Jolette would stand it if I forced her to tell me something she kept private? She'd have a good reason because you know she tells me quite a bit. Too MUCH sometimes..."

"I agree with Rob to an extent. If a girl doesn't want to tell me something, she normally has a reason - albeit logical only to the female mind - and I never press." Kelar grinned. "I don't get as many dates that way." The three snorted at him. "But seriously...when you get to be my age, you learn to not press women. Even if we'll never understand them by not knowing, some shit we just DON'T wanna know...you know?"

"Amen." Robert muttered, an arm over his eyes.

"Shit, you're only two years older than **I** am." He retorted, playfully glaring.

"Why did you wanna know Inaki?" Chass asked, head swiveling in his direction.

He gave the smallest of inaudible sighs and looked at the opposite wall. He didn't know if he wanted to tell them what'd been going on with him and K, plus the details that involved Cameron. This was his thing right here and he liked having K all to himself in that aspect. The only thing they knew about him and Cameron was they broke up; at the time it'd still been too touchy to tell details.

It kept his lives separate. He could be who he wanted in Miami with K because he was another person down there. Here, a LOT of people knew him - girls especially - and he couldn't change his image to the general public because they'd seen too much of it for a while now to believe anything else.

"Inaki? What's wrong?"

His lips pursed. He always got people involved in his life it seemed. Whether for advice or including them in some other way. Be it his sister most of the time, his family inadvertently, or his friends for questions his family could never answer to his satisfaction. But then...he did because he trusted their answers. They helped him by giving him their honest opinions and he respected them all because of that. So what was one more try, ne?

"There's a girl I know that I asked about her past recently." He mumbled, lying back on the floor. He didn't really feel like meeting their eyes when he said this...no doubt they wouldn't be pleased at having been successfully kept out of the loop for five months, as they WERE his best friends. "She guards that thing worse than my family does the store."

"You've been seeing someone??"

"How come we don't know about this?"

"More to the point, how come we haven't SEEN her yet?"

His mouth tightened. Well...not angry, but they definitely sounded irritated. "Because she doesn't live here. And I'm not seeing her - if you mean that as dating, we're only friends. And you don't know because...well...there's not a whole hell of a lot to tell."

"Doesn't LIVE here...? Where DOES she live then?"

"If you're not dating her, then how are you two friends?"

"That still doesn't explain why you didn't tell us..."

"Will you three go one at a TIME??" He nearly growled, smiling a little. He positioned himself on his elbows again, now that the worst was over with. "One - Chass, no she doesn't live here. She lives in the south. Two - Kelar, I have no idea what the hell you mean by that but you'd better do some fast explaining before I smack you again. Three - Rob, I didn't tell you all because I just didn't. I didn't even tell Cameron I knew K -" His mouth clamped shut. He wasn't stopping because he mentioned Cameron's name. He just gave away the last of K's anonymity. Hopefully if the three didn't piece the questions together from sort of meeting her so long ago, they wouldn't figure it out. Silence met him. The three were staring with unreadable faces, even in the very poor lighting. "Did something grab your tongues or what?" He retorted.

"This is a little bit of a shock is all."

Brown blinked in confusion. "What do you mean by that?"

"We didn't know you liked this girl too."

His eyes shot wide. "Say WHAT? You three have it all wrong! She's only my friend! I couldn't even date her anyway! She lives south in -" Again, he stopped and mentally berated himself. "What the fuck do you mean by liking her?? I've only known her a couple of months!"

Chass looked him dead in the eye, but smiled a little. "We've known you for YEARS Inaki. You know I've given you advice more than they have." A thumb jerked to the others. "And we all know what you get like before you date someone. When you set your mind on a girl, you get rather...what's the word...keyed up about being around her."

"No that's not it...he gets that happy light in his eyes."

"NO...he's more talkative."

Black slowly swished as his head shook in disbelief. "You have it WRONG. W R O N G! K doesn't even see me as anything more than a friend anyway! Sure she's cute and I admit that, but no way in hell would she date me!" He must've given away something from the way the three looked at each other, though he didn't see it. He knew he needed to get the topic turned to his original before they got some fucked up ideas in their heads. "But I'm not even going into that aspect because it's not an issue. I want to know about how far I should badger her before giving up. I figured I could ask you two because you both have girlfriends and probably have done that already."

Rob smiled. "The question you should ask YOURSELF is...why do you want to know so badly?"

His head jerked back a little. "I - I just - I just DO. She's my friend, I've known her for five months almost, and she hasn't said a shred of her past to me."

"And that's why you want to know? General curiosity?"

He admitted he was curious about what made up K, but he never bothered to delve deeper. "I don't think there's much else to tell. Stop looking too much into it." He retorted, uncomfortably crossing his arms.

"Inaki...if all you want to know is from general curiosity, then you wouldn't be asking this question. We know you like to go a little anal when you set your sights on something -"

"ANAL!?"

"- but if she doesn't want to tell, you have your answer already."

"I am NOT anal! What the fuck do you mean by THAT?!"

"Do you know how long it took you to get Cameron to go out with you? And in all that time, you never gave up when she shyly turned you down."

That shut him up rather fast and his heart twisted a little. 'Blitz-san...' Shunted brown looked to the far wall again as his face reflexively evened to hide his emotions.

"I think what the two dunces are trying to explain bud, is that if you want to know...you must have some ulterior motive." Kelar gently explained. "Think about why you want to know so badly. If she doesn't want to tell, accept that. But if you can't, then you'd better ask yourself how far you're willing to go to get answers from her."

He absently nodded, looking to the floor. "Ryoukai..."

"English, please?"

A foot whipped out and smacked Kelar as promised.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Hentai-Pervert Kora-Hey Michiyuki-Worn over a kimono as a coat Konban wa-Good evening Anata-tachi wa-You (plural) are...?

Watashi wa Jolette-I'm Jolette Anata-tachi no tomadachi wa koko desu-Your friends are here Minna-Everyone Bakaro wa uresai-Shut up dumbass

Hisofusan-Great grandfather Nanto anata hanashimasu...-Whatever you say... Joudan-Joking/Kidding Genkan-Entrance area/hall Sofubo-Grandparents


	25. Ch 25

_Kalie,_

_I know you told me you want to keep your past to yourself, but what could be so horrible that you can't tell me? If it's nothing illegal or horrifying, why hide it? I've shared a great deal of mine, isn't it right to give in return to all I've given you? Normally I'm not that selfish, but I just want to know you. YOU, not the person I see every so often. Not even in your letters. I want to know the real you. Is that such a big thing to ask for?_

_I'm asking again if you would give something of yourself. I don't even need to know all of it, just tell me the happier parts of your life if you wish. Anything is better than nothing isn't it?_

_You're right in saying that it's hard to write letters such as these, when all our others have been of humor and playing around. But...would you just consider this a favor and do it for me if I asked? Then consider it asking...please?_

_Inaki_

_December 2, 2097_

Short, precise, and to the point.

Dull green stared at the page resting on her desk and resisted the urge to drop her head on the surface. Exhaustion like none other, except what she felt when she was eighteen, pulled at her body. It weighed down her head, her eyelids, her heart.

Why didn't Inaki just give it a rest? Didn't she just tell him she didn't want to share ANY of her past so he could know her now and not who she really was? Her jaw clenched and a hand snatched up the letter. She was so tired of being badgered for something like this! Couldn't everyone just leave her alone about it??

Her fist crumpled the sheet and she stared at the two halves sticking from her fist.

Tell good things from her past?? 'WHAT good things?! There ARE no good things!' Angrily, she crumpled the paper further and threw it with all her might across the room. She knew she wouldn't do any damage with a single piece of paper, but the small hope was always there that she'd knock something over. It got to the middle of the floor - barely halfway to her bed - before taking a sharp dive and stopping on beige carpeting.

Nothing...there WAS nothing! There never HAD been! Her life was PATHETIC and she wanted to stop knowing her past! Why didn't anyone SEE that?! Nails dug into her skin as she glared at the ball. Her vision swam and she mentally berated herself. What good would crying do her NOW?

Green squeezed shut as she took the deepest breath she could muster, finding it shake a little. That just proved how badly she needed to calm down.

When she exhaled and her eyes opened again, she firmly strode over and grabbed the ball. She straightened the paper a little and put it back on the desk, running over it with a thumbnail to get the wrinkles out. The words stared at her and she pressed down harder in her frustration...eventually putting a nice little hole in the center where his writing was.

Her face smoothed as she held up the paper and stared at the wall through it. That wasn't the BEST of ideas she ever had...

A deep sigh sounded as a hand tossed the paper in some direction while she slumped to the carpet. She leaned against the back of the desk chair and drew both knees to her chest. This was her...the real her. Why should she tell Inaki about it? She'd just drive him away because of how pitiful and sad she acted half the time.

'Which is why you will never tell him.' She darkly ordered, eyes narrowing. 'NEVER show him this! He would withdraw...be horrified, disgusted... He'd never want to talk to you again and then the only friend you'd have left would be Sam.'

She didn't really take into account Hal and Sheryl because she rarely saw them. They didn't keep in contact unless she visited. How could she consider that friends?

Her forehead dropped to her knees with another tiny sigh.

When had she gotten so pathetic that she'd let her life get the best of her? She always thought she could get out of the funks, could pretend they didn't exist if she didn't act that way. But, if she never acted down, it would build up until it overwhelmed her.

'It'll overwhelm me ANYWAY.' She retorted, feeling eyes and nose sting. 'There's too much bad and not enough good in my life. I'll NEVER get away from it.'

She was tired of feeling this way. She'd gone down this road more than once and more than once she'd nearly lost. She'd nearly given up on it all. But what was the point in holding on to anything when the one person you nearly fell in love with manipulated you so bad? She sniffed, feeling anger again. No one deserved to be treated that way! The things he said...how low he made her feel - whether he knew he was doing it or NOT...

'I hate him. I hate him for making me feel this way and the way he twisted me in the past. I'll never forgive him for that!'

But...she did almost fall in love with him. That was something she never took lightly and didn't throw around. Love was a major deal with her. She didn't even tell her own mother she loved her! She didn't feel close enough to, though they were mother and daughter...

That was the most pathetic bit in the world where a mother couldn't hear that from their child...but she just couldn't. It was very hard for her to say that in the past half decade. When she was young and innocent, it was so easy. She had no clue about the world and its horrors...and she didn't know exactly what her father was doing at the time.

Her arms laxed and she fell to the ground, landing with a muted thump. Green emotionlessly stared at the nightstand across the way. A hand moved into her field of vision and stopped as if it too was tired. Sleep sounded good right now. An escape from all this...just get away, fall asleep, and she'd feel better. Except it was only five in the evening and she didn't have to go to sleep for hours.

That was always a used excuse. It was becoming a crutch, but she didn't care. Anything to get away from this dead feeling of nothing. Just like she imagined her unblinking, unfocused eyes were.

Empty.

She curled up a little against the coolness in the room and green inched closed. A nap did sound good right now, even if it was for the wrong reasons. She was so worn out with it all...if she could just sleep...

_"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"_

_"I...I'm just so tired of it all... I just want to sleep. Forever. Can't you go away and pretend you didn't see any of this?"_

_"No fucking WAY! Give me that! Are you CRAZY!? What's the MATTER with you?!"_

_"...You don't want to know."_

_"Of COURSE I do! I want to know a very damn good reason why you had such a dangerous weapon like THIS in your hand!! And you WILL tell me because I'm NOT budging even if my life depends on it! And so does yours, so start SPILLING."_

Green shot open. Even after a year, she could still see the small gleam of steel when it was waved in front of her face from all that gesturing.

She'd been so sure. It was such a good plan. The end result was she wouldn't have to feel so pained and worthless, and everyone would stay away so she could sleep and feel peace forever. But Sam ruined it.

It wasn't the girl's fault really. Seeing anyone with her hard-working front in such a compromising position would've pissed and shocked the hell out of them. If Sam hadn't stepped in...

It wasn't the best idea to try it in the house. But there was nowhere else to go that she wanted to be where other people were considered. She wanted it to be private and not make such a fuss. There wasn't much thought planned in where other people were concerned. At the time, after a long mental debate, she didn't give a damn about others. Some of those people out there MADE her like this. Why should she care about what they helped create?

But she also didn't think of Sam, or her mother, or the entire Merth family. She just knew pain and she didn't want to anymore. She had enough of it during the end with Brad and also her father. It seemed ever since she was fourteen she had nothing but horrible relationships of ANY kind.

But before that age...it had been a little better, though not much. Studying to get away from the fighting or just get away. She was alone in the house a lot, and had nothing else to do except watch tv. Her mother always insisted she study hard to get a good education...so did that mean her mother was partly responsible for this adult?

But she couldn't hate her mother for making her think studying equaled importance. When she was a kid, she didn't know any better. She was praised for getting such good marks and partially studied for that, as she was home with both parents working to afford what they could in the beginning. They always told her because she was so shy, but well behaved, that they could trust her to be home alone and not burn the house down.

That'd been a bold move on their part. They never even knew of the gash in the wall in the basement she covered up from carrying too many books and taking out some of the sheetrock. They never knew of the remaining stain she could still see on the living room carpet that never fully got scrubbed out. They were always so tired at night, and as a result, never sat down a lot as a family and have dinner. If they did eat together - it was fast but greasy. Tv dinners or something out of a box. Her mother was a working woman and too busy to cook something even half an hour long. Which was where she learned to cook all those odd dishes she loved. When her parents allowed her to cook actual food instead of microwave items or leftovers from the fridge, she practiced in her spare time. She had to because they weren't there to do it for her.

Was it such a crime that she grew up the way she did? If there was any love in that house, she was too young or not born yet to know of it. She was independent at a very young age - not even teenage years technically - and it was all she knew now. She did as much as she could and hated it when others did things she could just as easily do, unless she let them in a rare lazy moment.

And she also had no real affection for some things. Animals - yes, friendly people - yes, guys to love...that was something that took quite a while. Perhaps, had she had the love of her father, or even more from her mother, she would've been better off. Even if she possibly wouldn't do as good in school, the sacrifice would've been worth it.

The quiet buzzed in her ears and her eyes focused back to the present. Green blinked a few times before she slowly sat up and looked to the sheet of paper near her feet. A hand numbly went for it.

_...what could be so horrible that you can't tell me? If it's nothing illegal or horrifying, why hide it?_

Hide it? She wanted to bury it. This person she was now shouldn't exist, but by all means it did.

_...just tell me the happier parts of your life if you wish. Anything is better than nothing isn't it?_

Green closed. There was little to none. She assumed there were some better parts to her life. Sure, there were plenty in the beginning with Brad and a few times she spent the summers with her dad in northern Florida just after the divorce. But those memories were nothing but fading recollections she could barely grasp anymore. All she remembered was the bad now...

_...would you just consider this a favor and do it for me if I asked? Then consider it asking._

Her eyes narrowed. How presumptuous to think he could get away with something like that. What made him think he was that close to her that he could ask and she would give? She wasn't the kind of person who jumped when called to.

'Not anymore.' She hissed. 'Never again and HELL no!'

_...please?_

The inner rage died as fast as it appeared. Her anger was directed at him and it shouldn't be. He was asking about something he thought was innocent when that was NOT the case. Her head briefly hung before she lay on her back, resting the paper over her face.

She didn't know what to do anymore. It seemed that as soon as she gave Inaki a chance, he went and screwed her life up. Of course, she'd never met anyone like him before, having never dated any type of oriental guys. Maybe they held different standards and he was forgetting that with her. But that still didn't help him. She would NEVER give this up! If it depressed her by the mere tips of this iceberg, why should she think he would be okay with this?

'He'll give me the worst look of 'okay, you're a nutball' and run as fast as he can back to Andytown. He'll never want to write to me again. Then I'd be down to my last and only friend.' A humorless snort nearly blew the sheet off her face. 'And she wonders why she's my best friend. She's the only one who's stuck AROUND.'

The door suddenly opened and she nearly jumped out of her skin.

"What are you doing on the floor? And what's with the paper over your face?"

The curious, bemused voice never failed to lift her spirits, even a little. A smile popped up, even if she still very much didn't feel like smiling. "I'm reading it through osmosis."

"Ha ha, very funny. Seriously, I thought you were just going to read Inaki's letter and respond before we got to the movies?"

That's right...it was Sunday. "Lost track of time." She mumbled, white still clouding her vision.

Sam huffed. "If you weren't so organized, I'd call you a slacker. Did you write him yet?" Her head shook and dislodged the paper. She sat up and swiped it before standing. "Are you going to tonight?"

Green went to the clock on her nightstand. Her lips pursed. "Give me...ten, maybe fifteen minutes."

Light blue met green and Sam paused. The two stared at each other for what seemed the longest time, before Sam's hand finally twitched on the doorknob. A leg started edging backward. "Okay... I'll give you fifteen max, then I'm coming back in."

"If that's a threat, you'd have more pull if you decided act serious for a while." Sam's tongue stuck out before she closed the door.

She gave a quiet snort and plopped into the chair. 'Time to get to work before she gets suspicious.'

Sam was able to read her to an extent, and it was a wonder the elder hadn't so far. Ever since that day, Sam always seemed paranoid of her mindset deep down...

_Inaki,_

_I'm sorry to say that I am going to deny your second request. In my last letter I told you I didn't want to give any of my past away for many reasons, moreover I'd like not to tell you about. I also asked that you not ask me anymore about it. PLEASE STOP ASKING ME._

_I don't want to fight with you on this because it's not worth it to know. Honestly, there's nothing good about my past to ask, so I don't even have the good parts. That's all you need to know there, and I've actually said too much._

_I'm sorry if I've made you angry or frustrated. I assume you are because I've gotten that before. You can think what you want, I can't stop you._

_I'd like to return to the way we are if you don't mind. I liked that before my life was brought up. We had so much fun then, didn't we? Couldn't we just go back to that and forget this ever came up?_

_I have to go now because it's Sunday and you know what that means. Plus Sam is threatening to do something to me, so I'd better go before she finds some way to make me miserable. What are best friends for huh?_

_K_

_December 7, 2097_

Short, precise, and to the point.

She looked at the half page letter, feeling like she should add something, before folding it into the envelope and letting it sit open before getting from her desk.

She honestly did NOT want to get into a fight with him on this. Arguing never got anywhere with someone as stubborn as her. He wasn't going to make her tell by simply asking or even ordering her.

The ones who knew anything about her past were part of it, and those she told knew fragments that didn't connect to anything on purpose. She didn't gossip about it. Those that knew anything at all were Hal, Sheryl, the Merths, Chance, and of course Sam. The only people who meant so much to her in life. Her mother didn't really count, as the woman was so out of the loop it was safe to say she probably still considered her daughter a hard-working, polite, friendly, and mildly outgoing person with nothing else to it.

How wrong that assumption was...


	26. Ch 26

It took a while for him to get over the little bit of unrest over the whole thing. Well...getting over it credited him too much. He spent the next ten days wondering about things dealing with drugs, prostitution, physical violence, or death when it concerned K. The more he thought and wondered - and WORRIED - the more he wondered about the past she kept hidden. It was like a whole different side, like a world she was trying to escape or something.

The whole time, he couldn't find anything to respond that DIDN'T deal with the situation at hand. It was the longest he'd ever taken to write her. He wondered if she thought he hated her.

His head shook as he gave the broom a final sweep of everything he collected out the dock opening, feeling cool air of winter sweep his bangs gently. He paused to enjoy it and the sun on his face as he leaned on the shop broom, still in contemplation.

He felt a little bit like an ass now that he stepped away long enough to keep from responding back. 'This seems to be a trend.' He mused, humorlessly snorting. It seemed whatever he did or said hurt K in some form, which was ironic seeing and hearing about such a strong person she was.

He still didn't think whatever happened in her past had to be so horrid that she couldn't share, but he resolved to do as she asked and drop it. For now. A lot of him wanted to know, but he was forcing himself to deal with work more and preoccupy his mind. There was also the side note of what his friends said about him wanting to know so badly.

He COULDN'T be interested in K that way though...could he? He only knew her not even five months, plus she lived forty miles south! He'd never had long distance relationships yet, but he had a feeling something like that wouldn't happen.

A hand quickly whipped out and slapped his forehead, the sting muffled by his bangs. 'Will you STOP thinking like that?!' He ordered, stepping into the storeroom. 'Mou...they got me into an introspective mode that has NOTHING to do with what's going on now!' All he wanted to know was what was going on with K - there was nothing else involved with it!

If he had to think about why he wanted to know so bad...it could be her reluctance to talk about it for one. He was so close to his family and loved to talk about them, both good and bad. Those two things were intertwined in life and if you didn't take the good with the bad, you ran away from life.

Also, he didn't understand her privacy, partly because he never really had that in his household. His family shared their problems and lives openly and rarely held much back. It was common for him to talk to his family about certain things in life, some more than others. Jayden knew almost everything about him and because of that he knew he could go to her with anything. Course, he knew he could go to ANY of his family if he wanted to talk and knew they'd listen, but Jayden understood him on a level that was deeper than just family. She understood him as a sibling, fellow sufferer to some unfair things in life, and roommate. Their ages were the closest out of the others and that also helped.

He often pondered about her reasons for not wanting to tell. Privacy didn't seem to be the only thing, though it was one of them. Did she have issues with her parents and that was why she refused to talk about her life as a child? No...couldn't be...how would someone as nice as K have problems like that? She didn't seem like the type to hate her parents. He couldn't understand how ANYONE could hate their parents actually. Even if he didn't spend as much time as he used to with his, he loved them more than life itself. If anything happened to them - or anyone else in the house - he didn't know WHAT he'd do.

It couldn't deal with sibling issues because he knew she was an only child. And he had no clue about any other family...

He sighed and grabbed a large box that needed to be stocked in the front. Right now it was sad to know how little he knew her. She didn't open herself up to let people see her and he had no clue why she didn't let anyone in that way. The hesitation and isolation was obvious. Was she afraid of something?

Five months almost. Nearly all of that was writing, a few visits and phone calls. Even through words, how was it that he couldn't figure out the girl he called friend?

Hands moved automatically as he priced the tops of the cans and set them in their proper place. He defended her honor to Cameron on more than one occasion, yet she didn't seem to trust him enough to let him in like this. Could he really call that friendship? Didn't friends tell each other things? Not just simple things...didn't they confide in each other when it counted? Right now, he felt as if he knew a stranger. But, he couldn't let that get him down!

_I'd like to return to the way we are if you don't mind. I liked that before my life was brought up. We had so much fun then, didn't we? Couldn't we just go back to that and forget this ever came up?_

Though he didn't know this girl in the end, they got along rather well regardless. Their personalities ran together for the most part and they had fun when they hung out together.

Shouldn't he comply with her wishes...truly? They had fun and he shouldn't let go of that just because he wanted to find out more about her. If she wanted to keep her life private, he shouldn't deny her that request. He should honor her wishes and not pry. After all...they hadn't known each other that long, had they?

Standing with the now empty box in hand, he walked through the storeroom and out the open door to the dumpster out back. He lifted the lid and a hand brought the box to the hole and stopped. Brown blinked and stared at the open cardboard box for what seemed forever until an idea came to him. The hand laxed and the box dropped in with a low thud before the lid was closed.

It was the seventeenth of December, a week away from the Christian Christmas. He didn't know if K celebrated the holidays, having a feeling she didn't if she didn't even celebrate her birthday. Somewhere in his mind, he had a small inkling that he should get her something.

Of course he didn't celebrate it, and neither did his family...at least not the way it was supposed to be celebrated. They celebrated it as a holiday like the remainder in the city did and closed the store, but took the time off to make a nice dinner and be lazy. They celebrated by being together and take more time to enjoy their meal than normal.

He wanted to do this for her, even without knowing. Just to celebrate friends being together for their first Christmas...and also to apologize for his behavior. He did feel like a heel whenever she came to mind - which was a lot - and felt the need to make it up to her. That most likely came from him always making it up to Cameron, but this was him ACTUALLY at fault this time. He didn't leave her alone when she asked and kept pressing. A good friend didn't do that, they let the other tell what was on their mind at their own time. A good friend let the other come when they felt the need to, not because of harassment.

He hadn't been a very good friend in his eyes. Saying sorry didn't cover it because he had a feeling whatever involved K's past was something she held deep, and she wouldn't take his apology even if it came face to face. He also had a feeling she wouldn't be able to take it if he gave it face to face. She'd write it off as being no big deal and try to pretend it never happened. He didn't know K, but he knew people like that...people who ran instead of facing what they needed to. Shy to extremely shy people who didn't deal with others and therefore, didn't know how to handle simple things like that.

Perhaps a present could signify a small olive branch between them. A way that things could get back to normal and she didn't have to worry about his pestering anymore. It was worth a shot...

~*~*~

The rest of his time was spent in constant contemplation, but over a different topic this time. He didn't want to give something along the same thing like during her birthday. He wanted anything he gave to have special meaning, therefore being different...individualistic.

And how would he know that unless he wrote her and asked?

This would be the first letter in over a week, but - as he pulled the chair closer to the desk, trying not to tear tatami - he resolved to stick to what was on his mind THIS time. No more asking when she already made her answer glaringly clear.

_K,_

_I bet you're surprised to get a letter from me in so long huh? Sorry about that, I've had a lot on my mind._

_So are things still the same with you in ten days? My life is still as boring as ever, but you probably knew that with as stable as it is overall. Not even in ten days have I had something wild and crazy happen to me._

_I wanted to ask you something that just occurred that I haven't asked you yet. I don't know anything about your taste in music. I know that's out of left field and totally unprepared, but I was thinking about music today and realized I don't know what you listen to. What DO you listen to? And what do you hate? You already know I hate pop music with a passion and love alternative. I also listen to some old-style rock, oldies type - though I bet you couldn't picture me and that together, Japanese music - which is a no-duh, and - JUST between you and me - I favor a few romance type songs. But there's no way I'm telling you what ones because I have a feeling you'll find the ones you don't know just to see what they are. Kidding._

_Anyway...moving on. I also wondered if you celebrated Christmas. I know I did this last time and you'll probably figure it out because you're that clever...so I'll just be up front and say it. I wanted to get you something, but I didn't really know what, and I know the only way I get ideas is by asking._

_You know I don't take that day much to heart - not in the religious way - but I do spend time with people and whatnot. Me and my family used to get each other a small something, but finally settled on a long, involved family dinner...which is still the same in the way. I wouldn't mind getting you something._

_I hope you don't write me back and tell me not to bother because my mind is already made up. I intend on getting you something, now I just need a few details to make my choice clear. You know me...I'm stubborn-headed._

_I hope you can reply to this rather fast, because I'm on a time limit. I have some surprises - which I hope I didn't give away - I intend to spring, and I'd like to be able to do them._

_Waiting for your reply - hint hint,_

_Inaki_

_December 17, 2097_

He hated dodging the most blatant issue by pretending to rewind time to where he hadn't asked and changed things. This unresolved - and purposely ignored - conflict was never going away unless a conversation could be had to end this. One could argue with him in saying that right now, there WAS no issue because it wasn't being discussed. Except it was being shoved into the dark without him understanding anything about it. K's secretiveness was not helping his stubbornness right now.

He sighed and put the addresses on the front, reaching for the stamps.

The issue, whatever the hell it was, would just have to wait until he could figure it out. Perhaps if he spent more time around her, he could find reasons on his own and not have to ask anymore.

Had his curiosity and concern lessened at all in ten days, and doing what Kalie asked?

Not one damn bit.

He stood and left the room, taking his time to get to the front door.

He snatched a windbreaker along with his shoes and board, as the weather had gotten to low fifties as a high. The cool afternoon air always felt nice, but the nights were cold and it didn't help.

There was no one in the immediate area to announce his leaving, as most were in different floors or outside puttering around, so he grabbed the keys and shut the door.

"Oi, Inaki...where are you off to?"

Brown jerked over, finding his father with a broom in his hands in front of the driveway. He held up the letter. "I'll be back soon otousan." He called, boarding to the concrete marker that made up their house. He stopped enough to push the gate open and latch it before heading down the walk.

He wondered what K was doing right now. It was nearly four...was she in school right now? He didn't have her exact schedule, only knew she was taking four classes this semester. He knew she wasn't at work, as she worked the late shift during the week. He hoped she would be warm enough during her rides home, since the weather down south couldn't be much warmer. The combination of gentle wind and cloudless sun made the day another perfect one to board into town. Even though he didn't like winter that much, he still liked these types. The days were as beautiful as they were in the fall.

Stopping before the mailbox, a foot landed on the concrete. One hand held open the lid to drop the letter in, his other holding it in eyesight.

This felt wrong to do, what they were doing, but he had no choice really. If he didn't want to lose K as a friend, he had to comply and bend. Even if he didn't like it.

Lithe fingers gripped the letter a little tighter as his jaw clenched. He didn't want to do this; a part of him was saying to not send the letter. At least not in its current form.

He heaved a sigh as brown closed. He could be a real prick and ass when he wanted to be, whether on purpose or not. Privacy was not a big thing with him, given everything in his life. To his family and the musketeers he'd known since past high school. He told them everything, well PRACTICALLY everything. He had nothing to hide except his only secret, and that might as well not exist with as old as it was. He should be forgiving of someone he didn't know, he honestly should. Perhaps give it another five months to see if he gained a little more of K's trust before trying again.

He didn't want to let go of this without ending it on a better note. He wasn't that type of person who let things go without a word.

When brown peeked open at the gap to blue metal, they had hardened with resolve. He wouldn't let this go forever, but he would for now. He didn't want to spend the rest of his friendship - for however long it would be - not knowing K. If he had to push her again, he would. He didn't want to know part of a person. If he gave of himself, it was only reasonable to give in return. He was taught that by his parents, by his grandparents.

Agreeing with his thoughts, his hand directed the letter over the blackness and let go. Brown watched it fall out of sight before the door creaked close and he headed home.


	27. Ch 27

Christmas was never a fun time. The holidays rolled around with cold weather and no snow, totally opposite the typical, old-style, perfect Christmases. A soft, snowy white blanket covering the streets with gently falling snow and no wind to make it a blizzard.

The reality of the near twenty-second century was even bigger commercialism for people hocking sales weeks before Halloween hit, but thankfully kept to the backs of stores until Thanksgiving rolled around.

She never liked this holiday much. It was so chalked full of family togetherness that it made her want to gag. It was safe to say she didn't celebrate it, and loathed the twenty-fifth for part of what it stood for. It reminded her of all she didn't have.

It was times like these when she wanted to work and study right through the holidays...except classes ended on the twenty-second and she had been all but bored out of her mind for a day now. With nothing to do during but sleep in and try to find ways to buy her next semester's books - not to mention have to put up with Sam humming Jingle Bells - she was going to hurt something.

The extra sleep was a blessing because at least she could regain some and get that little bit of laziness in before classes started up on the seventh.

She heaved a sigh and stretched out on the couch, ignoring Sam's puttering. Eleven a.m. and the girl HAD to get an energy boost to waste.

Moving the furniture around every cold and warm season seemed to be a habit, mostly since they got to use the fireplace that way. Sam found a few ways to put everything so they could make temporary use of it when the sporadic urge called to them.

"Up."

She sighed. "Just move the thing. I don't wanna." Dark green closed.

A blonde brow ticked. "One day off and already you're a couch potato." Hands propped on Sam's hips. "If you're not going to help me move, go in the kitchen and start on lunch or something."

An eye peeked open almost in irritation before she rolled onto the floor instead of sitting up and stood. She was forced to walk the long way through the other living room with the recliner blocking the arch.

She stopped in the kitchen, but didn't feel like doing any cooking. She just didn't want to do ANYTHING right now, or today at all. That was quite shocking considering how hardworking she normally was. But, a girl needed a day off every once in a while didn't she?

Teeth nibbled on her lip. If she couldn't study, couldn't go to work for another six or seven hours, couldn't fall back asleep for a nap, she could do with some time outside. Anticipation hit at the only spot that sounded appealing. She hadn't been there since fall, it was time to go and see if she could find anything with no crowds to spoil it.

A small smile broke through. Going there would help her to get out of the Christmas funk and think of something else for a while.

She bypassed her friend and headed upstairs. If she was going outside, she needed warmer clothes. Today only got to the forties - a typical winter. A pair of pants went over the boxers and a sweatshirt over the t-shirt. Bare feet hopped the carpeted steps to the bottom and grabbed house keys off the table by the front door before striding to the kitchen again. "I'm going out."

"What?! OW!"

A muted thump was heard with cursing following it. She used that split second of the girl's pain to make a hasty retreat without question and unchained the lock. The wind nipped her nose a little and she suddenly wished to've brought gloves. Leaning back in the seat, she pulled both sleeves down as far as they'd go before putting her hands on the handlebars to make a turn.

The ride went fast, mostly due to her hurry to get there. By the time the near journey was finished, she had to stop to rub her hands for better warmth. A quick latch with her trusty chain and she gave the beach a look. Not a soul was in attendance. A genuine smile appeared as hands rubbed her face to warm it up.

She was wishing for those shoes when toes encountered sand. A small yelp at the coldness - even with the sun shining down - did no good to warm it. But it took too long to go back just for sneakers and she was already here. She could tough it out for an hour or two. By then, it would probably be assumed she would HAVE to return to get some feeling back in her poor feet.

Until then she was going to milk the solitude and feeling of nature for all it was worth. Out here - as always - the real world melted away. It was so easy to pretend her life didn't exist and she was a blank slate.

After a while, she opted to take her sandals off and let the sand numb her toes. It soon got to the point where the cold lessened and feel rose. She always liked that feel, especially digging her toes in the sand. A serenity assaulted her as she listened to the waves and watched the sparkles flitter across the water from the sun.

Time stretched and warped. The waves were slow in their pursuit to reach the sand and it helped to make things seem like they went slower to her senses. Perfect time to think and deal with nothing.

~*~*~

A car pulled up in front of the sidewalk and was put into park. A single door slammed shut in the general noise of the neighborhood. 'Sure is quiet for a city...' Not even a minute later a lithe hand pulled open the screen door and knocked against wood.

There was something that sounded almost like a yell of pain inside and it took another minute before the door pulled open.

Sam stood rubbing her head with an eye squeezed shut. Blue blinked a few times in surprise before she smiled. "Hey! Haven't seen you since Halloween. Come in, come in!"

He smiled and nodded. A hand gripped his backpack and swung it next to one of the pillars, as was quickly becoming custom whenever he brought his bag. "What EXACTLY happened to you before you answered the door?"

The hand rubbing Sam's head paused and consciously dropped. With a bashful smile, Sam laughed. "Ah...I'm...rearranging the living room if you can't see." A hand waved to the open sliding doors. "I was trying to push the tv closer to the wall and looked over automatically when you knocked."

He grimaced. "Sorry about that..." He muttered, trying not to smile.

"And I'm sorry to report Inaki, but K's not here."

Brown blinked in surprise. He was so SURE she'd be here today! She even mentioned she didn't intend on going to her mother's for part of Christmas until tomorrow night. He didn't really know what to answer, but a scowl seemed to do it for him and show his disappointment.

Sam walked up and patted his arm. A thought suddenly struck. She saw which way K left and had a good notion of where she was. Getting the two to not miss each other in passing would be the trick. "But I have an idea of where she might be. Do you know where the beach is around here?"

"You know I don't live here." He kidded, grinning.

Sam's heart fluttered and she almost threw every matchmaker plan down the toilet right there with that grin. GOD what she wouldn't give to be her best friend! With Inaki single - if she was kept up to date - she could've said to hell with waiting halfway through her senior year or near the end till she dated and snagged him herself! "Well then, I can give you directions...it's not too hard to find..."

~*~*~

Somewhere in her empty mind and comfortable position, the rumbling of a car engine near the parking lot sounded and she blinked.

She frowned. After who knew how long of sitting in the sand - after doing a small, half-hearted search and finding nothing - just watching the afternoon pass, someone had to come and ruin it. 'Go away! This is MY spot right now!'

She wanted to be greedy. She wanted to order the person not to go down the steps leading to the beach so she could have the surf to herself until she felt the need to return home. But a voice called her name and she was sent into a panic.

'No! Not now! I can't deal with THAT now!'

Being here put her in an introspective mood, one she didn't share with a lot of people, as it somewhat housed views of THAT side of her mind. She never liked to be here with friends or relatives who wanted to talk and always made herself unapproachable to any stranger on the beach who thought a friendly conversation was a good idea. This was a side she didn't show to ANYONE, because it was her more philosophic side...and had some strange views of the world - what little she had.

The only thing she gave away was the hardworking, congenial aspect and nothing else. None of it she deemed worthy to let into light.

Footsteps stopped behind her, but she didn't remove arms from around her legs. Part was from cold, the rest the inability to move. How in WORLD did -

'Sam...' Green closed. In that instant, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, forcing away everything except for the well-known front.

"You look deep in thought."

Her lips pressed together briefly before she purposely smiled, eyes still on the sky. "No...just enjoying the view. I haven't been out here since I wrote to you about it."

"Find any shells?"

That he remembered something so long ago, and mentioned once, made her feel a little better to be in his company. "Nope, but then I didn't search that long either. I kind of got sidetracked by the gorgeous view."

"Yea...it is rather nice isn't it?"

By the wistful tone of his voice, she could tell she had a compatible person who held the same love for the current view as she did. That warmed her heart a little. "So how come you decided to come all the way out here?"

"You answered my letter, are you telling me you forgot AGAIN?"

She smiled at the playful jab, shaking her head. "No. But I hate to disappoint you. I'm not a big Christmas family-get-together fan. I really think you wasted your money on me."

"Nonsense!" He grinned and opened the strings to his bag, grabbing a relatively small package. "I hope you like them, and if you don't, just say you do for my sake." She smiled again and reached out to take it. She purposely avoided touching his hand, blushing still, and looked at the palm-sized square in confusion. "You have to OPEN it to see what it is. X-ray vision doesn't work through my type of wrapping paper." Unconsciously, an elbow shot out and got him in the ribs. He gave a small yelp of surprise and playfully glared at her. "Sure, sure...be mean to Santa Claus when he's delivering presents. And here I thought you were a good girl."

With as close as Inaki was sitting, and the sly grin he gave, that innocent sentence didn't help the sudden dirty imagination that cropped up. She blushed again and moved her other hand from the sweatshirt to pull the wrapping off instead of fidget like she wanted. Opening one end gave her the answer without even having to tear everything apart.

Dark brown furrowed. "This is..."

He shifted against the cold sand a little nervously. "Like I said, if you don't like them, pretend you do for my sake."

She heard of some of these names on the radio at work in both jobs and thought them okay in passing. She didn't know what to think in owning the cds though. "Goo Goo Dolls, Michael Jackson, Aerosmith, and Evansense? No, Evanscene? Evan -"

"It's EV-AN-ES-CENCE." He mused. "I thought since you mostly listen to techno, female singers, instrumental, or rap, that you could get some rock and alternative in your veins." He had been brazen in that decision. K listened to four different types of music and they were mostly similar in musical pattern or beat. Though he was wondering how someone like Kalie Himmen could like rap. She was too nice for that. He leaned back on the sand and stared at the sky, feeling his face tinge a little. "Broaden your horizons a little. Who knows, maybe you'll like it?"

She stared at the artists' names on the cd cases, not really seeing them. Her mind was a tumult of thought. This was quite interesting. Totally unexpected and she didn't really know how to react. Not in this place, and not with this man. "Well...all I can say is I'll give them a try. I mean, classes are out till January and all I've got is work." Reflective green went back to the view. "It's going to be strange till I take classes again." Her lips turned to a smirk. "I'm going to be bored out of my mind with no studying to fill my day."

He humorously snorted, but didn't answer back with more small talk.

The lapping reminded him of the last time he went to one of the beaches in this city. That was a strict testosterone visit without a single familiar estrogen face in sight. But being here with K...like this...felt nice. There was no need to populate the air with useless chatter, the way she was sitting and the look on her face told him he didn't have to and probably shouldn't.

Ever since they just sat there mere feet away from the line of wet sand, she had the growing urge to thank him in some way. For some reason, she was having the worst of times getting that out. She always had a problem with those two words, mostly because they involved someone doing something for her. It never failed to embarrass her on some level, having to thank someone for doing what she so easily could've done.

She never really got presents in her life for holidays of any kind. She didn't expect them, having grown up a simple person. Just like during her birthday, the thoughtfulness and originality put into buying her something never failed to freeze her intelligence. Fingers twisted and fidgeted as she stared at the tip of her knees. She couldn't feel Inaki's eyes, but that didn't mean he wasn't looking at her. Green snuck the briefest of peeks to her left, breathing a mental sigh of relief at finding those dark eyes aligned with his position that mimicked hers.

Her lips pressed together in indecision. She expressed the honesty in not needing to get her anything...did that mean she still had to say something? Yes...it was polite if nothing else. She didn't want Inaki to think her rude.

Feeling her face heat up self-consciously, she looked to the sand on her right, head ducking. "Ah...thank you...for the cds..."

Brown blinked and looked her way, finding a nervous smile on her face. He smiled and nodded, though he doubted she could see. "You're welcome." He quietly answered, getting her to look over. Her smile widened a little bit before she looked in front and all was quiet again.

They sat like that for the longest time, him with a half empty head, until the right side of his body self-consciously pricked at the girl's close presence. They were only inches apart, but it felt like her skin hovered mere centimeters over his...the feeling was hard to describe. Brown snuck a peek through his bangs, taking in her even face. Thick lashes were lowered halfway, but the barest of smiles were on her face. Her posture was hunched, but comfortable-looking.

He wondered what was on her mind. He'd never been to a beach in the winter before - this first time sure was nice with the current company. He felt like he didn't HAVE to say anything and yet sitting here said more than he ever could. It was one of those content silences where you could be quiet all day long and have the time of your life with a person. He loved those...for that kind of quiet was rare with the number of people he was around.

But wondering what she was thinking about burned on his tongue until he had to fight himself to keep from asking. He didn't want this pleasant mood to end, even if he'd have to head home within the next few hours.

Just as she'd manage to blank her mind again to the point of where she was before, thinking it could be okay if they just sat there and she didn't reveal anything vocally, that presumption was broken.

"So...how you been the past few days?"

Green blinked and cast a split-second look his way before focusing on the sparkles of water. She gave a half-hearted shrug. "It hasn't been THAT many days since I replied. College got out and I'll be able to check my final grades when they come in the mail. I'll be a little nervous until then, but I'm not overly worried. I have work to keep me busy."

He looked to the sand a little uneasy. That wasn't really the answer he was looking for. "No...I mean...how've you BEEN these past few days?"

Her brain made the connection and her jaw clenched. Fingers tightened inside the safety of her sleeves, nails digging into her palms. The little bit of pain was a welcome diversion, even if she became incredibly agitated. She didn't answer, just harshly swallowed and looked to the sand on her right to ignore him. Bangs hid some of her eyes and she was thankful for the mass.

This time she KNEW she held his gaze.

He watched her more openly than the last few times, and couldn't help the confusion that swept him at her response. It was like she all but physically shied away from him. But why? He was just asking how she was doing, how she was holding up during the holidays. All he knew was she didn't like them, but how much he was unsure. Part of that question was deliberate to bring up everything he left buried. Now that he was face to face, she couldn't ignore it that easily without giving away SOMETHING...

She wanted to take another deep breath to bury everything that rose, but didn't want to seem too suspicious. If she did that, he'd think she was mad, or upset. Funny how it was a combination of both. She hoped he wouldn't start in with asking of her past. Green shuttered closed before anger could be seen in her eyes. She was pretty good at smoothing her face and keeping it away, but the eyes weren't something you could control. Emotions spouted out as easily as the ocean lapped against the sand.

Why did this have to happen NOW? She was already stressed and upset with the holidays...why did he have to bring up everything she hated and feared? Sure he didn't know, but her pleading for him to forget it would be a pretty damn good indication to drop it!

Melancholy hit, as it always did when she thought of her life, and she couldn't get rid of it. Just like her past, it plagued her in accompaniment to the truth that all the bad things actually happened and couldn't be locked away in some fairy tale nightmare that never occurred. Try as she might...she could NEVER escape.

Teeth bit her lip and hair flowed around her face when it drooped a little more. She was thankful for letting it grow out in the winter for warmth, as it shaded a good portion of her face. She didn't want to answer him, COULDN'T answer him, so she kept silent.

This transformation shocked him and wide eyes dumbly blinked. He suddenly had the worst sense of déjà vu at sitting next to a girl that he used to date only months ago. Why was he suddenly reminded of Cameron at a time like this? 'Perhaps,' He retorted, 'because K is acting exactly like Cameron right now!'

The hunched posture, inability to meet his eyes, and silence were the worst three strikes that said more about K's emotions than if she actually opened her mouth. "K...what's going on?" He whispered, feeling his nerves pull taunt. Like someone stretching a rubber band.

At the concerned sound of his voice, her eyes squeezed shut. She tried to keep her nose from burning, a telltale sign that tears were going to form any second. 'I am NOT crying in front of him!!' She screamed. The whole time they knew each other, every time Inaki hurt her in the beginning she never cried. She never let it get her down because if she did, she would compare it to other guys she knew and would lead her down the spiral to the bottom of the shit pile. She always thought being strong was the only way to get past whatever reminded her of what she ignored. As long as she was alone, she could be as strong as she liked...but in front of people was a different story.

It was like she was frozen in time and couldn't move or speak. Words froze on her tongue, even if her mind was in normal order. Thoughts kept coming, but it was like she was mute and had no way to communicate with anyone. She just couldn't get the words out.

His mouth pressed to a tight line. He feared to move as well at whatever was woven around them. They were both in suspended animation of tension and expectation. The words to speak were on the tip of his tongue, though he also feared to speak for a different reason. It felt like he was forbidden, though it was necessary to alleviate the mood.

It took an act of will to get over that uncertainty. "K...I'm sorry if I upset you... I - I didn't mean to..." He sighed and looked away. He was lying. "Maybe I did." He quietly negated, looking to jean-covered knees. "I want to know about you. I can't stand wondering what happened to you and worry that something horrible went on. I've thought of drugs, death, pro...prostitution -" His face flamed and he quickly looked away.

She didn't notice, but mentally snorted. Those things were worse than what she'd gone through, but to her they were still earth shattering. It wasn't every day the rug was swept out from under your feet and everything you ever knew was gone in a matter of a month. Surely death was something that could apply to some of her more recent situations if they happened. So it couldn't unless it involved someone else.

The silence loomed again; more uncomfortable than the last...but this time she was supposed to say something. Either bad or reassurance that it was nothing like that. She felt self-conscious sitting so close to him and wanted to shy away, but couldn't get her body to budge. She was all but theoretically frozen where she sat.

Teeth bit her lip so harshly she felt she was going to draw blood. The little overgrowth to her nails dug into her hands once again as she berated herself. 'Suck it up! Just do like you always do to ignore it!' She couldn't very well tell him anything, but she had to calm herself down.

Except - after a minute of that - she made the mistake of sneaking a peek and finding wondering, concerned brown concentrated on her.

Everything wiped from her mind except fear and worry about being seen. Tears stung her eyes and green quickly looked to her knees. She couldn't meet his eyes. She couldn't show him anything she was internally going through, but the question to ask was...how much did he just see?

Unacceptable! She was NOT going to go through this again with people and let them walk out of her life because she said too much and creeped them out! It wasn't like she could very well defend herself for speaking the truth about part of her mind...there WAS nothing to defend!

Her muscles bunched to move, but still being frozen, it took a few tries before she surprised Inaki by swiveling away and standing. A quick dust to get the sand off and she hurriedly walked over for her sandals.

He blinked, too stunned to move, before he jumped to his feet and tried to catch up. "O - oi!" Longer legs helped, even over uneven sand, and he grabbed K's arm as she was standing with sandals in hand. "Why are you leaving?!"

The motion of grab-and-pull spun her around and off-balanced her. The hand dropped the shoes and pressed against him as his shot to her forearm to help steady her. Green widened and her heart double-timed. This was that little fantasy she cooked up in the bathroom...and now it was happening?

Yet at this moment, she wanted to be very far away from Inaki.

Tears popped up and her vision swam. Green hastily darted to the sand off to one side. Her jaw clenched again.

"I didn't mean to nearly make you fall...but why the hell are you taking off??" He asked, trying to keep concern and irritation down. If not for knowing she was a nice person, he would've thought she was snubbing him. "I only asked a simple question. In the reasonable way of thinking, I don't think it's too much to ask for." He tried to meet her eyes, but just like his bangs, hers kept those eyes hidden from view. She was hiding something by that and he only knew because he tended to do that as well sometimes. "Kalie...will you look at me? Please?" He gently asked, letting his grip wane a bit.

She blinked even faster - the ground looking like it was going through a strobe light - in effort to keep her eyes blurry. She did not want them to clear! She HAD to hold this in! She remained in position to give him prime view of the crown of her head...effectively denying his request.

She had to get away from here!! She was letting go of too much! She had to get him to let go so she could make a dash for her bike and pedal like her life depended on it. Her mouth opened a little to produce words, but they remained restricted to her mind. It took a few tries and mental ordering. "P...pl..."

'Syllables are NOT going to communicate what you want moron!'

She didn't want to wrench her arms from his grip as that would tell him she was angry or the like. There was not one bit of anger she could direct at him. Right now, it was all self-directed.

"P...Please...let go...of me Inaki..."

It didn't have any hidden meaning in it, and after a stunned second of hearing how timid and dejected her voice was, his hands dropped by themselves. He took a small, single step back and looked at her a little amazed.

Her head still remained bowed, but she felt guilty like none other. Her hands fisted again and she welcomed the pain. 'Run...run now!' Her eyes squeezed shut and tears ran down her skin, burning tracks. She quickly blinked and bent to retrieve her sandals, fighting to wipe them away before he saw. But he might see the action and know. She tried to keep her head as far down as possible, but her bangs didn't go past her brows and didn't shelter them. She took a few timid steps back, unsure of what to do, before her limbs pulled her to move again. She was only frozen once before taking off in a run as if she was being chased.

His mind had shut down a little since her words and nothing came to get her to stop. He couldn't move anything except his eyes as he watched her run up the steps. Brown remained locked on her figure, seeing her from the waist up as she mounted the bike and wiped at her cheeks.

His jaw clenched.

After a minute or two, he flopped back to the ground, as if his legs lost the will to stand.

Wide brown stared at the sand as he tried to pull thoughts into being and make any sense of what just happened. The only thing he could understand was...she ran. She ran like the hounds of hell were on her heels! She was so scared of telling him about her past that she'd physically dismiss and ignore it that badly...

His head slowly shook, eyes edging closed. He felt sorry for her right then and there. She ran away from her life, which was something she shouldn't do. She should deal with it; running solved nothing. He knew that from when he was a child.

He flopped onto the sand and solemn brown looked to the sky. Hands idly moved and rested on his chest.

He had been somewhat like her, like Cam, and a few other shy girls he dated. He was more reserved as a child, feeling as if he was different than other kids...and not just because he was Japanese either. There always seemed something he personally found odd about himself. He was lucky to've met the guys in school and get out of that mindset. They helped him more than they knew when they initially goaded him into his first dare that clinched the musketeers group and future dares. Which was why he tried to help those he dated to get over that. He knew some of what it WAS like on a small level, what it was like NOW. Now was so much better than then...

That was why - right then and there - that he vowed he was going to get to the bottom of whatever it was Kalie was hiding from him and help her as much as he could.


	28. Ch 28

"I am SO going to get them back. They won't know WHAT hit them when I get through with them..." Hands clasped behind her back in anger as she paced her room. Green glowered at the floor with as much irritation and frustration as she could muster. OH they were good. The little devils had to've been planning this for days. It was amazing they could keep straight faces the entire vacation. With a tight-lipped sigh, she stiffly marched to the bedroom door and harshly threw it open, nearly banging it on the wall. In half a dozen steps, she stopped in the open bathroom doorway and crossed her arms. "Sam! Are you DONE yet?!"

The sound of running shower water stopped behind a brightly colored curtain. After a few drips, matching grumbling sounded. "You got off EASY chica, so quit whining. God, I feel like I'm never going to be clean AGAIN."

Green rolled. "Whatever...'I got it easy - ' THEY DYED MY DAMN HEAD!"

There was a quick, muffled snicker before it was halted. A blurry form moved and Sam's disheveled head came into view. "They're geniuses, I'll admit...annoying little bastards. I'd rather be in YOUR place. I'll let YOU wash the crushed bugs out of brillo pad hair, replace eight dollar shampoo and conditioner, and I'LL take the green hair."

She gave a snort. "If I had to dye my hair, I'd rather have it ANY color than emerald green!"

Sam gave an evil grin. "But it matches your eyes."

She sputtered. "Oh SHUT UP and get done!" She twisted and marched out. A hand grabbed the locks falling around her shoulders. "I'm just thankful they didn't make it PERMANENT dye... I'd have to kill them for that. At least I can get rid of it before classes and work tomorrow!"

Casey and Kevin were masterminds. She HAD to give them credit for the old shampoo-and-conditioner shtick. Green narrowed to slits as she abruptly stopped and swiveled for the stairs. It was time to pace downstairs and find some way of retribution for the Christmas holiday.

'Hair dye and bugs in the shampoo. Not very original, but effective. I shouldn't have put it past them. I'm amazed they didn't find a skunk and spray my clothes while they were - HEY!' A positively sinister grin lit her face as she halted on the landing to the main floor.

A finger tapped her chin as malevolence melted away to congenial thoughtfulness. "Hmm...perhaps not SKUNK...but something just as bad would do... Garbage perhaps? What do we have in the fridge that rots quickly?"

Those two didn't clean their rooms and Missy made them do their own, since she took care of the rest of the house. It was the perfect payback. The worst smell in the world, stuffed into some unnoticeable crevice, would deprive them of sleep the worse it got. In the dead of winter, it was too cold at night to leave the windows open without a few layers of blankets.

She chuckled and hopped the rest of the stairs, feeling better than she had since she got out of the shower this afternoon.

Green zoomed in on the fridge as she pulled both doors open and stared. There were a few leftover containers holding some of her interesting concoctions. A hand grabbed a few, pulling the lid off to find exactly what each consisted of, before coming up empty-handed. She shut both doors and leaned against the fridge in thought. What DID they have that smelled so bad it would put a newborn baby's diaper to shame?

'If I can't FIND it...I'll MAKE it.' A hand absently reached up and gripped a chunk of hair. She pulled what she could into her field of vision, face souring. 'And it's going to smell worse than gym socks, sweat, a baby's diaper, AND rotting food all rolled into one!'

Carl and Missy weren't going to be happy one bit about having such a smell in the house, but SHE wasn't happy about unknowingly dying both hair and hands with shampoo and conditioner! There was still a green tinge under her nails, but five washings with two different kinds of soap got rid of most of that. Which was a good thing, considering she normally cooked!

With renewed vigor, she stalked to the cupboards and yanked them open, eyeing anything she could use. She was so deep in thought that she jumped a mile when the phone rang.

She snatched it up on the second ring and took the cordless back in continuing search for the perfect stink bomb. "Hello."

"Is K there?"

Her brow furrowed. The voice sounded familiar...but she couldn't divert off her main goal right now to figure out who it was. "This is."

"K - konnichi wa."

She sucked in a gasp before she could stop herself. Every part of her body froze, the hand dropping to her side. "I...Inaki..." If she wasn't gripping the phone so tightly, it would've fallen to the floor.

Her throat immediately closed of any words to say. Ever since that day, she hadn't been able to get past the shortcomings she showed. She was so ashamed of what she gave away that she couldn't talk or write him. Not that she called him just to talk or had him drive forty miles out of his way for no real reason. Inaki's call had to deal with her silence. The fact that she hadn't written a word in twelve days would help with why she was hearing his voice right now...

...Right now when she suddenly wanted to hang up on him and retreat to her room.

"K?"

She jumped again and blushed, then mentally berated herself for being so stupid. Enough time passed...perhaps he resolved to let it go again and was just being friendly. The guilt and timidness in his voice certainly suggested that. She never really knew Inaki had that kind of withdrawn side...not someone who seemed so outgoing and brazen. It was like he didn't know the meaning of the word blush.

"I'm - I'm here. Sorry." Teeth bit her lip. She didn't know what to say, so she took the most obvious distracted route. "I was just looking for ingredients to make a stink bomb with."

THAT came right out of left field and on the other end, wide brown stared at the phone with an odd expression. After a second, it went against his ear as he got off the futon and ambled to look out the window. "Okay... Do...I even WANT to ask?"

She was thankful for the door she opened that brought them back to past behaviors. THIS she could deal with...as long as it kept on this vein and didn't skim anything else. She heaved an irate sigh and turned to lean against the counters. Green looked at her nails. "Mis hermanos dyed my freaking hair and hands green and put bugs in Sam's shampoo."

The language she was using he didn't know, but his brow ticked. A smile slowly started forming until it was in an ear-splitting grin. The mental picture he was getting was too funny. "Oh...REALLY?"

She playfully glared at the far wall, fighting a smile at his tone. "Wipe that smile off your face! It's not funny at all! I have emerald green hair with the residue under my nails and Sam's got all sorts of crushed bugs tangled in that curly mane of hers!" A quick shudder went through her. "Positively DISGUSTING. I don't know which I'd rather have, the dye or the bugs."

He chuckled, he couldn't help it. "Nice prank. So who pulled it?"

Her mouth opened to repeat herself, but remembered Inaki didn't know the amount of Spanish she was familiar with. "Sam's brothers. I call them mine because we all act like siblings." Deep green glowered. "TOO much."

He plopped down on Jayden's bed and leaned against the wall, absently staring outside. "One can only imagine... So, what's up with the stink bomb? Revenge?"

She smirked. "The four of us have these...wars as they were. Who started them I forget...but one starts the challenge by pulling a prank and the other tries to top it. I started it by taking their computer wires when they interrupted Sam's and my call on Thanksgiving. They responded in kind with current prank." Her face became positively evil again. "And I'm going to find everything and anything I can to make the world's worse smell, and put it in a place where they won't find it until it congeals to the point where they won't even TOUCH it."

He smirked. That sounded like rather good payback. "You're Satan's daughter, do you know that? Positively evil. And here I had you pegged for a nice girl."

She giggled. "Just goes to show how much you know me Inaki." It slipped out before she could stop it, and it was hard to take the words back. Such a casual voice tone and the way they were said almost sounded teasing.

She sobered immediately. With a harsh swallow, green diverted to the linoleum in utter seriousness. She felt like trying to divert off that line, but couldn't get words out. The phone remained in her hand like a dead weight. The good mood was forgotten as she fiddled with a nail.

Whether she was pointing that out on purpose or not he didn't know. It grated on his nerves - both good and bad - and his jaw clenched.

There was the worst, uneasy pause on the line with no real way to break. Conversation should be inserted right about now, but she couldn't get the words out again. It was just like last time. Even her body felt like it was forbidden to move and only her fingers dared to break that.

He took a deep breath after a second and slowly stood. "K... That's kind of why I called."

Her eyes closed, almost as if in pain. No...please don't let him bring up anything now! She was as bad talking about it on the phone as she was in person!

"Part of me wants to apologize for...what happened that day...but part of me wants to ask why you ran. And I finally figured it out and went with my second half. Why did you run from me? I just don't understand it. Did I do something wrong? Why can't you tell me??"

Teeth bit her lip and her eyes squeezed shut. The emotion in his voice got to her already and the guilt she felt about being so unable to speak what he wanted to hear started eating at her again. She slouched to the floor and leaned against the cupboards. Her forehead silently thudded against a knee. Her tongue darted over her lips.

This was where she answered him. But...she just COULDN'T. For years, she confided in people and they left. Why should she waste a person like Inaki and push him away because of what happened to her the past decade?

That was only one of the many reasons she couldn't speak. Forcing it all away from thought and onto the farthest backburner she could find was another. She'd done that almost venomously ever since THAT day happened...vowing never to be so stupid and put it past her. She never wanted to feel that ever again, and tried her damndest to never speak of it. It wasn't easy when someone WANTED to know...

She inhaled a shaky breath. A hand clutched her forehead as if in pain and tears stuck to her lashes.

Teeth harshly bit into her lip. She HATED being this way! But she couldn't avoid it...she never could. It was so easy to feel something she had been immersed in only a few measly years ago. She hadn't been lucky enough to put it THAT far in the past...

"Kalie?"

She harshly swallowed. Why did he have to say her name in such concern...and her full name? If he said her nickname, it would be on a friendlier basis. She didn't get serious unless someone said her full name...that type of stuff normally meant she was in trouble.

"I - Inaki. I - I - I just...I can't...I can't tell you..."

The broken, almost desperate sound of her voice tore at his heart. A fist clenched as he leaned against the kitchen wall. It took physical will to make it the rest of the way outside before he dropped into the porch swing. Breath clouded his lips, but he ignored it and dully stared at the sky. "Why?"

The near pleading and sadness in his voice caused a tear to fall. Her throat locked up and she couldn't swallow. Her heart twisted. She didn't want to put him through any undue stress like this, but why did he want to know so badly? Just because he WANTED to know on a general curiosity? Just to get to know her? It didn't make sense!

He was better off not knowing...it would only tear their friendship apart if he knew the horrible truth about how weak she was. She wasn't as strong as she liked to think she was. Trying and pretending was the best she could do.

Her head inched back and dully thumped against the wood. A tear trailed down her cheek, burning as it went. Bleary eyes squinted at the ceiling. She wanted to break down and bawl like a baby right now. She knew it was possible to feel this low by inadvertently torturing someone and that you could feel the need to crawl into a hole and die...but she was hoping to never, EVER feel like this again.

Why did Inaki have to bring this back up?? She was TIRED of it! Tired of feeling worthless...

She inhaled another shaky breath, this one tenfold worse. It was taking all her strength to keep it out of her voice - to halt the wobbling of her chin - so she could answer him. She didn't want him to know this affected her so much...not to the point she knew of. "I - Inaki...I - I...I just-"

"Yo! Where the hell are you?? I thought you wanted the shower!"

She jumped and banged her head on the countertop. The sharp sting of pain helped distract her enough to wipe tears from her mind and throw her to the mindset she was supposed to be in before the call screwed it all up.

"K? Are you okay? What was that??"

She gently touched the crown of her head and hissed in pain. "I...I conked my head on the countertop..." She rasped. "Least I'm not bleeding... Hold on a minute." She stood and quickly wiped her face clean. With the phone at her waist, she took a deep breath and quickly let it out. "I'm down here you dork!" She shouted, leaning on the banister. There was no point in going upstairs, yet. "Are you done now??"

"It's all yours!"

She stared at the phone as a door closed, most likely Sam's, biting her cheek in indecision. It was a good bet if she gave it a few minutes of total silence and then hung up - like a coward - that Inaki would call back wondering what happened. And he would only get through if she didn't leave the phone off the hook.

She was tempted to take such a cowardly route...but she just couldn't. The polite side of her was screaming at how stupid it was to do that to a friend. She couldn't hang up on him like THAT. With a deep breath, determined to do this, she slowly headed back to the kitchen. "I...I have to go now Inaki. I'm going to see if I can't get this green out of my hair before work tomorrow night."

"But K, wait a minute, please -"

"I - I'll talk to you later I guess."

"Kalie! Wait a minute! Don't hang up on me when I'm trying to -"

"Bye." She clicked the phone off with a beep and evenly stared at it. It took a lot of courage to do that. She almost caved and let him continue, which would've killed any means of disconnecting the call. She couldn't let him get any other words in...she wouldn't.

Some part of her mind knew that was the wrong thing to do, but if it kept him from asking questions...so be it. She wasn't prepared - and never WOULD be - to answer them, so it was pointless for him to keep asking. She didn't know why he kept asking, but hopefully would get the hint and whatever it was that he was holding onto would eventually be not worth the fight.

When it came to stubbornness of keeping quiet, she was far worse about this than he by a long shot. But she couldn't help the guilt that laced her system as she immediately turned the phone back on and put it on the top of the fridge.

Green stared in indecision. Perhaps she should leave it hung up. Maybe he wouldn't call back? Her head shook. No...someone as stubborn as Inaki would DEFINITELY call back, more irate and demand an explanation for that hang up.

Resolved to quit thinking about it, she turned and headed back upstairs. She had a few precious hours of natural daylight left to help make sure the green was out. Light bulbs just didn't cover it.

Not even half an hour later, the bedroom door opened. Hands wrapped a towel around overly washed hair.

A snack sounded good. All that time in the shower gained an appetite from hell. And it was just far enough away from dinner to gain that hunger again, so a snack was justified. But the problem with wanting food and not knowing what sounded good didn't help. Both fridge doors were opened and closed without anything retrieved.

"This sucks." A hand all but slammed the door shut in frustration and rattled the appliance...effectively knocking the phone off the top. "What the hell?! What is this doing up here??" The second the phone was put back in the charger, it rang with a shrill whistle. "Stranger than fiction...this's getting a little freaky... Hello?"

"Finally! Do you know how many times I've tried to get a connection??"

A brow ticked. The irritation was not appreciated. "I didn't even know the phone was off the hook or for how long, so I don't appreciate the tone. Who IS this??"

"Inaki. Is this Sam?"

Light blue blinked. "Yea...what's going on buddy? How come you've been trying to call?"

He heaved a frustrated sigh and shoved a hand through his bangs. "K turned the phone on so I couldn't call back. I've been trying for almost twenty minutes now."

Blonde furrowed as Sam went to the cupboards in her earlier search for munchies. "She did? That's strange. Why would she do something like that? It's not like you two talk on the phone that often..." A hand pulled open a door and blue lit up. "Ah - ha! There they are...munchies!" Twisting, Sam leaned against the counter and grabbed a few chips to nibble on. "You were saying now? Explain this to me; I'm always out of the loop when it concerns you two."

The sound of her crunching chips was not helping his anxiety any, but he tried to pull the earpiece away to ignore it. "I called K to talk to her about something and she all but snuffed me on it."

Sam plopped down at the table and cradled the phone in between head and shoulder. "That's odd...doesn't sound like K, and I should know - I live with her. What did you ask her that made her go bitch on you?"

"I...I asked her about her past."

The crunching paused in mid nibble. Light blue widened a little bit as Sam stared without expression to the opposite wall. "Oh..." She finally muttered.

"Oh!? What does THAT mean? What does OH mean??"

Sam looked to the table with pensive eyes. Why was SHE being put in this position?? This was NOT her job to say something like this! 'Damn girl owes me for this...'

"Inaki...well I don't know exactly what to say or where to start..." She paused and tapped the blunt edge of the chip against her teeth. "I don't really know how to put this if I had to choose a starting point." Another pause. "Kalie isn't one to badger about her past. Trust me." She seriously muttered. Light blue darkened.

"But I don't know WHY I shouldn't!" He grumbled, gripping his crown. "This is driving me insane! Ever since I got that little insight about her dating in a letter when I broke up with Blitz-san, I've thought of death, drugs, prostitution - why are you giggling?"

"Sorry, sorry..." Sam mused, covering her mouth. She quickly threw the chip in before full out laughter developed. It took a second, but Sam managed to calm herself down. "I don't mean to laugh. Really I don't. From my point of view, all that is a TAD overblown. I'll divulge this and say that none of that has happened to K in her lifetime. Rest easy."

"Then what could it be??"

Sam's face rapidly darkened. "But I'll also say THIS. If you don't want to open Pandora's Box, you'd be best to let it go."

"But WHY? I just don't understand it! Damn it Sam, you're not helping here!"

"I never said I was going to." Sam heaved a sigh and looked to the bag, losing her appetite. She scowled but went to put the chips back. "Look Inaki...I'm not going to be a stool pigeon and tell you exactly what happened in Kalie's life, because **I** don't even know every detail...and I'm her best friend! K prefers not to let her past get the better of her. If it did, she would end up like she did when Arthur broke her heart."

Yes! He had a name! Perhaps only one in who knew how many, but it was still a name! What ELSE could he subtly wheedle out of her??

"And besides, you don't want to go there anyway. I've seen some of it and I wish I didn't. It's not something you could associate with someone Kalie likes to make people think she is. So like I said, leave it alone."

"I just can't do that. I have to know."

Sam leaned against the counter again and speared a confused look to the carpet. "Why? What is so godly important that you would make her go through all that?? That whole decade is something she'd rather never live through again. Don't make me suggest it to you one more time."

"If it's nothing that horrible as I mentioned...how bad could it be?? You're making it sound worse than it probably IS."

Sam's face darkened as her eyes clouded into the past. "I am, am I? You have a big family I hear. Have close friends who you still hang out with regularly? Have a pretty good track record with dating? Never seen some of the horrors that lurk in a person's consciousness I bet. Consider yourself lucky. And chew on that one for a while."

"Sam?"

Light blonde whipped to the stairs as blue widened. This was something K would seriously hurt her over if she knew Inaki was getting sideways information - even half assed - from someone deeply confided into! Not to mention she wouldn't cook anything for weeks! "I am cutting you off before I get in trouble. As surrogate big sister and best friend, I'm telling you to harshly rack your brain for any VALID reason of putting K through hell. If you can't find one, you'd better cease and desist."

A raven brow ticked. "You can't make me stop if I want the truth."

"To be cliché, you can't handle the truth. And I pay the phone bills. Don't make me be mean." Footsteps started down the stairs and Sam whipped around to keep her voice from directing in that area. "Got it?"

"Wait a -"

Sam clicked the phone off and was putting it back on the holster just as a turban/towel-wrapped K passed the archway. With an easily feigned scowl, hands went on Sam's hips. "Was there some reason you took the phone off the hook? I wouldn't have known it was even up there if it didn't fall off the fridge when I went rummaging for food."

K stopped and for a second looked rather panicked before quickly covering it up. "Wait a minute...what were you doing rummaging for munchies when I was just coming down to get something started??" A finger wagged in Sam's face. "You KNOW I always make enough for leftovers the next day. Why does that never sink in?"

Sam mildly glowered as her friend walked past and looked for pans. A quick save. No telling how much of a tongue-lashing she'd get if K had been a second earlier. She heaved a mental sigh. Done and over with.

'And if Inaki knew what was good for ALL of us, he'd do as I suggested.'

Brown stared at the phone, slowly looking from surprised to annoyed. That was twice in an hour that he'd been hung up on by someone from the same household over the same topic! He heaved a sigh and headed back in. A shiver went through him from the temperature change.

His mind was in a whirl as he set the cordless on the wall. This just didn't make SENSE! Now he was even MORE curious and baffled at this mysterious past than before! Sam's words did NOT help him right now. His head lightly thudded against the wall a few times. It paused with a sigh and pressed against the paint. 'I wouldn't put it past her to unplug the phone for a few days without K knowing... Not to mention finding a way to make my life miserable.'

Sam's warning had the opposite reaction. He was supposed to search himself to find a reason why he wanted information worse than anything in his life and most likely find none.

His resolve and stubbornness to figure this mystery out increased tenfold.


	29. Ch 29

Suffice to say, it had NOT been a good week. When he wasn't in a foul mood or working his ass off in the back room to try and divert his mind, he kept running the last scenario in his head. He kept hearing her voice in his mind...that broken, pleading voice. It twisted his heart without fail every time he thought of that or their time on the beach. He had never felt so helpless and frustrated in his life - and there had been plenty of opportunities for that!

Aggravation got him some curious stares, but he refused to talk about this. Every bit of advice so far had been about more than curiosity or stupid assumptions that had NO bearing on the issue!

Liking Kalie...how exactly did they come up with THAT one??

She was cute; he admitted that the first time he laid eyes on her. He wasn't going to lie about THAT obvious fact. Yes there were qualities that attracted him to her, the shy factor and the mystery he couldn't pull away from. He seemed to have a thing for shy girls, but that was also an ethnic deal. Well...maybe a norm for every girl but Jayden... She was so outgoing and ruthless she dwarfed him at times!

One of the worst and most angering thoughts he kept going over was there was no solution he had about this. A whole week of wracking his head and not really able to come up with more than what he kept defending...it was torture. He didn't understand THAT either. Yea he could just easily give up, but something about K told him not to. He wasn't allowing it and he had no clue why he was being pushy to the point of harassment - which he was pretty sure he was AT by now.

The past problem aside, she was a great person. No doubt about the smarts - save for math, responsible, funny, sarcastic, creative, congenial...and plenty other he couldn't think off the top of his head. That was a pretty good start to begin with though.

He heaved a sigh and stared at one of the cardboard boxes he had to unload before his shift was over. He SO didn't want to be here right now. There was that futile hope, just like the past few days, that work would help him concentrate on something else for a while. Well it DID...until he saw a color on a label that reminded him of K's eyes.

He glared at the box, wishing he could send it and everything in the damn store up in flames. No...best not to harm his source of revenue. A good couple dozen hits on the trusty bag would do perfectly though. Except physical exertion got him no closer to a goal than it did before either. It seemed nothing he could do was going to get him the epiphany he needed to sort this out and find a way to push harder or drop it all together.

Perhaps if he did as Sam and the guys suggested and actually find out WHY he wanted to know so bad...but he'd done that ever since it was first brought up! Convinced that general curiosity was it just didn't seem to be the answer. Now that he had thrown the shit to the fan and upset the previous balance of friendship, he finally had to wonder just what the hell was going through his mind to think he could do this just to know.

He heaved a sigh and shifted on his feet. Arms crossed in sudden procrastination. He wanted to leave. He wanted to get far away from here and go to his spot and think with no one to get involved and offer him anymore damn advice.

His lips pursed as a finger tapped against a bicep. If he did this and told obaasan what he wanted to do, he didn't think she'd mind if he left. It'd been an hour and he did quite a bit until seeing that rather beautiful shade of green -

After all the times of mentally slapping himself, a hand rose in irritation and swiped himself across the face. It didn't really help, but the sting on cheek and palm pulled him back to the outside world and reminded him he was at work at least.

After deciding to quickly finish up, he grabbed the box and hoisted it to rest on his shoulder so he could open the back door. It was still winter and rather cold for January, so the back door needed to be open. Even if he did even lifting and whatnot to keep warm. Cold never really bothered him. For some reason, he could withstand the elements better than anyone in his family. Why, he never knew.

"Obaasan...I'm going to leave a little early today."

"Eh? Nani? Naze? I thought you had work to do."

He checked the grip on the box and fought a wince at his grandmother's less-than-happy tone. Not good to go against someone like his obaasan... Solemn brown looked to the swept concrete. "I - I don't feel like working right now obaasan. Gomen nasai...but I've got too much on my mind that won't let me work right now. Gomen..."

Eagle eyes started at her grandson, seeing something weigh on his shoulders more than the cans he needed to stack. There was indeed something deep he was fighting, but the guarded stance told Mamorah he wasn't going to say a thing about it right now. He was too uncomfortable. That graying head finally conceded in a small nod. "Wakarimasu... Finish up with what you have and write your time down."

He gave a small smile and nodded, thankful his obaasan didn't press. He honestly didn't know if he could stand THAT sharp-tongued personality right now...

It seemed to take longer than normal, but that's just because his mind was ready to get out of here and spend some time in a place he needed right now. Even though he told himself he could wait - as he devoted so much time to this topic already - his arms couldn't help but speed up. A hand grabbed his board and he left from the door next to the loading dock. He pushed off and took an almost leisure pace in the opposite direction of the house. He felt a little better just being outside.

He always was a massive nature lover. He liked being outside, even if it was in the winter or just sitting on the engawa staring at the street. He felt more comfortable and freer with the wide-open world in front of his eyes and not four walls. Which was the silliest thing, because he got that occasionally in his own HOUSE. There would just be this big need to take whatever he was doing outside as the worst closet feeling encased him. He felt stifled; there was no other way to put it. But he wasn't Claustrophobic in the least.

It didn't take long to get there, it never did. His feet seemed to move by themselves - which was a good thing because he hadn't paid attention the entire time.

He was forced to get off the board when wheels encountered sticks and leaves. He took very good care of his main transportation because it was the only thing he had beside the car but there was no point in hauling himself around in that big thing.

A foot kicked the brake and he caught the lip with a hand, tucking it under an arm. Sneakers crunched dead leaves, puff clouds came from his mouth as he zipped up the hooded sweatshirt he had tied around his waist earlier. There was about a five-minute walk around trees and fallen branches until he stopped and looked up with an endearing smile.

This place was his; he knew no one came out here because there was no litter and no one disturbed the carpet of leaves or tree limbs. And no one came this far into the forest he found years ago by accident, so it retained the special meaning. He felt like this was his second home and all there were was a mildly dense forest near the edge of the city with naked trees standing around him.

It was peaceful and he couldn't hear any city noise out here...even though it was on the outskirts. It was like there was some invisible wall that shut it all out so he could enjoy this place to its fullest.

Gently setting his board against the base of his favorite, hands extended over his head and grabbed a branch. His legs swung up and momentarily wrapped around the branch as well before muscles propelled him above the low branch and off the ground. A grin made its way to his face. Climbing trees...he just loved this. It was something no one could make him stop doing, and no one could ever beat him at. His agility and ability to clamber up the smallest and most packed trees never failed to amuse and confuse people.

In a few short minutes he covered ten thick branches that gained him almost two stories off the ground and propped his head up with one of the close-by limbs.

The view wasn't much, as there were no real mountains or big hills in Andytown, but he could see for blocks being this high up and even better without leaves to obstruct his vision. He gained a better view of the sky, what was now at a four o'clock angle and sparse clouds.

This was the most serene, perfect time to be in his spot. He couldn't have timed it better.

He was content just to stare and let his mind go blank for what seemed the longest time as it stretched out. It was easy to spend a good portion of the afternoon sitting in one position and looking at the same horizon. He never tired of it. Every time he came out here - which was fairly often to clear his head or deal with something alone - the view seemed like the first time. After a while of being still and silent, a few animals would come out and he got to watch them as they went along their lives.

That was thing he never tired of doing either. Such simple lives that never did much, but still lived. It was easy to understand and envy the simplicity, but at the same time he was glad to be human. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to be them.

At length he sighed and his face turned put out.

It was time to stop procrastinating again and get on with it. Now that he had wide-open spaces and time to think, he had to do so. It was time to either reach a decision and have a nice little chat or profusely apologize and swear on his honor to stop bringing it up!

His lips pursed. Decisions, decisions. Both were so easy to do. He felt like a selfish little kid right now in wanting to keep pestering her...but the respectful side wanted to go back to way they'd been. He missed the K he got to know in the beginning. She was fun, happy, energetic, nice... This K was sad, sneaky, angry, hesitant...and he didn't know how to deal with that. Not that he never dealt with those types of people, but he didn't expect it from someone like her.

Sure this had been going on for months, but it never gained the introspection it was to such microscopic degree.

It was a load off his mind to know everything he overreacted on was exactly that. If Sam couldn't divulge much, at least she could put THOSE fears to rest. 'Even if she DID laugh at me.'

His head shook in amusement. He didn't know Samantha Merth would have that kind of mean streak in her, but if it kept him from hurting her best friend - he would DEFINITELY have to ask about the sister part - he didn't put it past her. It seemed Samantha had the same ruthlessness as his obaasan, and though he could be a dick at times...he NEVER wanted to cross his obaasan when she was being judgmental or in a wrathful mood.

He suppressed a shudder. He was on that side once when he was a child and never again. He was lucky to escape with his hair intact let alone head!

A brief chuckle escaped as his head shook again. A finger scratched his nose before he went back to staring at the sky, mind blanking again. He did that a lot but it was a blessing. All day and night his mind was thinking of something but out here it was like wiping a slate clean. It was comparable to trying to stare at the backs of your eyelids.

There was nothing there and he could actually tell when his mind was empty. Those times were welcomed because they seemed to bring out the philosopher side, which was desperately needed - especially now.

He snorted and his lips pursed again. If Sam thought he was putting K through hell by making her go through whatever happened in the past, then he was going through hell by trying to figure it out and come to a decision!

In reality he liked being with the lighter, brighter person from the beginning. She was shy at first, but she opened up and showed she possessed an actual sarcastic side, which he found endearing. It showed she could hold her own in a conversation, which was a little important. How could he get to know someone who couldn't even talk to him? Raven brows furrowed as brown narrowed. 'Indeed...' He glowered, head dropping. He sighed and used arms as a pillow and dully stared ahead.

Why, why, why...he just didn't know why. Her whole manner of doing this was not only confusing, it was getting old. Was he such a horrible person that she wouldn't confide in him? He had his fair share of crap in life and considered himself pretty understanding. He couldn't - and SHOULDN'T - be one to judge people because they would judge him back. He hated people that had narrow minds and thus tried to be open about things.

In theory anyway. There was always going to be something about someone or an object he didn't like to some degree. It was impossible to like everything and everyone.

His brain slowly numbed again and a finger absently tapped on cold bark. Dark brown watched it as it rhythmically thudded along.

He was procrastinating this and making it harder than it had to be, but he was tired of putting so much thought into it. It was getting old and he wanted to end the stalemate.

He missed the letters he grew to expect and took time to read. They never failed to make him smile or raise a few brows when he learned something she did that he had no clue on. There had been nothing for weeks, probably a month or two by now, and he didn't really know how much snail mail appealed to him. At least when he wrote to K...

He heaved a groan and thudded his forehead on his arms. This was going to drive him CRAZY!

He wanted to yell and scream out all the frustration so it would leave him ALONE. He wanted to get past all this, but it was like having the nagging feeling you were forgetting something, but you just couldn't remember for the life of you and it wouldn't go away until you found it!

He didn't regret much to anything in his life, but he was beginning to regret ever bringing it up. If only he hadn't mentioned Cameron...perhaps hadn't gone to the party with K that fateful day... But there was no clue how long they'd be together anyway. It seemed they were doomed to fail and he was just too blind to accept it. The only thing that would've been different is he might JUST be single instead of having more than a few months time to gain experience in being alone again.

It was funny how he was able to not dwell on THAT fact when he loathed solitude of that magnitude.

His head rose and his jaw rested on arms to once again stare at the horizon without really seeing.

Perhaps because he had K as a friend, he managed to dull that feeling of isolation to lower levels than it when he just had the musketeers. Even with as long as they'd been friends, the three were still guys and didn't hold the same values he did. They weren't Japanese and didn't understand the concept of needing to be with someone and having that person to love. Not to mention two of the three had girlfriends and had for a while.

With as much as he dated, he had yet to find that one person to love. He hadn't given his heart out enough for that to happen. The most he could ever do was care for them. It seemed after what could be considered trial months, something told him it wasn't this person he should be with. He never knew what the feeling or insight was, but he knew when it came. He would somehow close himself off and see the girl as more friend than companion. If they noticed and threw a fuss, somehow he knew they weren't it anyway.

His head shook a little. It was so confusing and there were times when he wished the stupid 'premonition' - as it were - to be gone. He might've already found a girl and been married by now if that damn gut reaction would just give it a rest!

Brown shifted to the general area of the ground, body staying still. He focused on gold and reddish leaves, looking very much like a carpet way up here. They were very beautiful and a good change of pace from seeing the dirt and sparse grass in the summer. But they also covered up wildflowers that grew in spots around the whole area. They were beautiful and smelled ok - for flowers. They were a small, daisy-looking white that was nice enough to look at. It was great in the summer to climb a tree and stare down. The patches looked like cotton balls.

He smiled and twisted his head to the side on his arms. He loved this place...as it had always seemed to be his. He told no one this location - unless they already knew it - as he felt it would violate the trust lingering in the air.

He was suddenly reminded of the beach in Miami. Brown blinked. That was right...K had a small spot too. Even though it was grossly populated by people, there were still times she found to collect seashells and admire the view on her own. It was interesting to consider that. He was so glad to know she seemed to hold an interest in nature almost akin to what he did, if not a little less.

If that was true, he knew she would appreciate this place as he did.

Brown widened a little. He didn't show this to ANYONE...yet he would consider bringing K here? His brow scrunched up as his head uprighted and eyes stared at the ground again.

How strange. What would possess him to think - possibly even ACCEPT - something like that? It couldn't really be a matter of trust because he trusted his friends and family, but would NEVER take them to this spot when he was here. Jayden knew of the place, but unless she came here when he didn't, she never visited. Whether or not she told any of the family was uncertain, but with this being so sacred to him, he doubted it.

He snorted and abruptly buried his head again. Chass's insight was scary for his age. What right did near a twenty-year-old have to be that damn perceptive?? Wherever Chass learned that, it would be very much appreciated if he would teach it!

He was the biggest moron on the world. The stupidest baka...the worst bakaro that ever lived. Why was it he could never understand himself better than other people understood him?! His head banged against his arms and he resisted moving them and ending up hitting bark. "Baka...baka...BAKA." He growled.

He never defended it because he never thought there was anything THERE. Why should he think different? They were forty miles apart and had totally different lives. Yet somehow they connected on the work of fate. Even if they met through a fluke and hated each other in the beginning, it resolved to friendship.

He would never have met her had the trip not been long and at night, with sleep catching up to him. The first coffee shop that was still open was the one he stopped into. How was he supposed to know that one incident would effectively turn his life upside-down?

Who knew this would happen? Well certainly not him, but it seemed oh-so-obvious to everyone ELSE. He glowered, nearly pouting, at the sky. Always kept out of the loop... He didn't want to admit to anything, because he wasn't ready to have to deal with THAT right now. The aspects of what lay within that as responsibility weren't as important as what was going on currently.

He could've ignored it if the thought hadn't come up over territory. It was so personal and out of the way that it could almost be considered his...to take someone else into something he treasured that much... He would have to think quite a bit of them to allow THAT to happen. His brow furrowed. No...not even that. It had nothing to do with respect. When it all boiled down to it...

...He cared about Kalie.

~*~*~

"Ano? O - oi! Inaki...where the hell are you going?!"

"To Miami." He cryptically called, snatching the car keys off the hook. "I'll be gone for a bit." Not giving Jayden time to answer or wonder, he shut the door and jogged for the car.

It was such a strange concept to have arrived at a conclusion, albeit one he had forcefully denied. Why he kept denying it he didn't know. Because with as straight arrow as his mind was on, and the lack of any bad emotion, he wondered why he ever shoved it away.

After he realized it and came to grips with the bud of emotions toward a certain stubborn, silent, utterly unique person who kept him knocked for a loop since the day they met...frustration and anger melted away and it was like they never existed. The whole week seemed like the storm and he was now in the eye of it.

A very WIDE eye.

Nearly peeling out of the parking lot and streaming down the street, he took the quickest route for the highway, trying to keep it in speed limit range. Maybe fifteen miles down, he realized he had no clue how to go about this. It was just eleven; K would be at Coffee Works. The drive would kill some time, but he would have to wait downtown or at her house until she came back.

His teeth grit. Stupid loopholes...he didn't want any trouble right now! Now that he found the reason to keep pushing - simple and plain emotional caring - he fully intended on getting a response this time! He knew there was a big chance K would clam up like she did the other two times. The beach was dealt with wrong, and the phone wasn't the way to talk about it. It had to be face to face, but without the frustration he showed the first time.

If he was going to do this - and he WAS going to do this! - it had to be with nothing but patience. He'd take all night if needed, but this WAS going to end tonight!

~*~*~

Slowing the speed down helped. Walking to Coffee Works and leaving the car in front of the house helped kill even more time. It also helped to center his mind and coach himself on everything he ever used with past girlfriends to get them to open up. By the time he made it, the lights flicked off and a small, partially familiar group was in front of the door. Brown blinked, but he stood a few dozen feet away and watched. K would ride this way, as it was the way home...

But he was unprepared for the three men that all but surrounded the bike she walked.

His body tensed to rush in, every martial art move springing to mind. Damn their age...if they hurt or tried anything to K he'd protect her as much as he needed to!

He allowed himself to relax at hearing her laughter. It sounded nice and he suddenly realized he missed hearing that and seeing her smile...as she was currently doing. She looked nice when she smiled.

His heart nervously thudded when they got even closer...close enough for her to need to move to one side or run him down. She almost did, but looked to him when the others did and paused.

Those dark eyes were wide and almost filled with panic, though they were surprised and confused. He could understand the last two...as it was out of the blue for him to be showing up at midnight when she had work in the morning. But the panic hit him hard and his heart twisted.

They seemed stuck like that until one of the elderly men walked a few paces in his direction and peered at his face...effectively taking his attention away from the subject at hand. "I know you...don't I boy?"

Brown blinked as his head jerked back. "We've...never met." He mumbled, trying to pick his brain up. Raven furrowed. "But you three DO look familiar..."

"They were there at Coffee Works when you stopped to ask for directions...remember?"

He looked back upon hearing that quiet, almost wispy voice and locked eyes.

"Oh yea. NOW I remember you! You're that Inaki boy!"

"Inaki...meet Tommy, Chester, and Roger. They always walk me home."

He nodded to each as she pointed.

"Dark tootin! The streets aren't safe at night! You could get kidnapped or mugged and THEN where would you be??"

"Out of Miami or broke?"

Roger tsked and wagged a finger at her wry grin. "Don't use that sarcasm. I swear you're full of it missy. Something like that isn't worth joking about."

Tommy all but sauntered up to him and threw an arm around his shoulder before he could expect it. "Yea. If you won't look at any of us old fogies...then you should get THIS handsome young gentleman to start walking you home."

The dark helped hide the blush, but not the self-conscious smile. It didn't help that K momentarily sobered and looked away before putting the same face back up and smirking. "Sorry Tommy...he's mainland. He doesn't live here."

"But that means he came to visit you though doesn't it?" Roger asked. "I may be the oldest, but I DO know when a gentleman comes calling."

Their terms were so quaint, but he was NOT appreciating their sharp minds pointing out the obvious. He wanted to approach this gently and in private, not with people around who K knew and cared for her, and who would definitely be apt to dislike him on the spot.

Green bore into him but he couldn't read her eyes, couldn't tell what she was thinking as her face melted to non-expression. He knew she would either be fixing to take off the second the three left them alone, or angry that he was trying yet again. He could take those, as long as she left the pleading out of her voice. Being next to her - even with others around - after his realization...he didn't want her to have to plead with him for anything.

"Gentlemen...it is getting rather late and I do have work again tomorrow." She evenly announced, eyes never leaving him. If she was sending a message, he wasn't getting it.

The four started again and he silently plodded next to them, hands shoved into his pants. He felt like an outsider with this troupe, but that would pass when they arrived at K's house.

He was content to listen and spy looks about how she acted around these people. This was another aspect he never knew, and would get the chance to see.

"You work too much girl!" Chester piped up. A hand patted her shoulder. "You need to take time off and RELAX."

She gave a wry grin. "I'm afraid reality doesn't work that way Chester. After all, not ALL of us are lucky enough to spend our retirement playing with the chess club."

"You don't know what you're missing missy. Quiet times, total contemplation against a skilled opponent, and an occasional win. That's the best."

She chuckled and dark brown shook. Feet slowly plodded her on as hands kept her propped up on her seat. "You probably had it as bad as I did when you were my age, so don't be a hypocrite." She kidded. A finger reached out and poked Chester on the shoulder.

"Darn straight we had it as bad! We had it worse...me worse than them two." Roger piped up, jerking a thumb to his companions. "You don't even hear about war anymore except for reading it in your history books. I lived through some of them in the beginning. And things weren't as good as they are now. You kids today with your solar-powered EVERYTHING...luckier than we were."

"Is this going to include walking to school in five feet of snow with no shoes and up hills for miles and miles?" She asked, grinning. "Because it's almost time to part and I really WILL miss work if you include that."

It was such a strange thing to see a transformation in only a few minutes of walking. He couldn't help but wonder where all of these quick wit and sarcastic comebacks were hidden. The few times they hung out, he barely got to scratch the surface with her on this. But here these three men were, getting to see the best side of her and taking it for granted. He almost felt jealous...if not for the fact he was DEFINITELY feeling purposely ignored.

"That mouth - although nice to toss repartee with - is going to get you in trouble one of these days. You're lucky we're so understanding."

She giggled and her head shook. "Yes you are, I'll give you that. But you're all perverted old men, so we're even." She gave a quick wink and stopped the bike. "This is our stop gentlemen. I will be seeing you on Monday."

Chester comically saluted before Tommy pulled him back. "Like clockwork K. See you then."

"You see her home now Inaki!" Roger called, already feet away. "Make sure she's safe."

He startled to attention. "Can do." He returned, giving a small wave. After a minute of silence, K continued walking her bike as if nothing happened. He jogged to catch up, too surprised to move, and fell in stride. "Nice guys." He muttered, smiling a little.

To his amaze, the mood didn't seem tense as it had normally been. "They are WONDERFUL people. I'm glad to know them. I know it's only seven blocks, but I'm happy for their company."

He absently nodded. "Indeed. Seem like pretty good guys." He snorted. "They remind me of what Chass, Kelar, and Rob would be like in fifty years." He smirked. "Wouldn't they like to know I compared them to old men."

She smirked, almost wistfully, and slowly plodded on. There was silence with only her bike chain routinely breaking it. But with the mood, it didn't seem like anything needed to be said. For once, there was no need to break it. He wondered the reason for such a difference. What happened this week that changed her mood? He wouldn't know unless he asked, but it could be as simple as spending time with three old men in a short walk home.

Before he knew it, they were going around the front lawn for the back porch and K was locking her bike to the back pillar.

After the lock clacked shut, she finally decided to get it out. The thoughts roaming in her mind would not stop plaguing her, but the atmosphere was nice enough and she didn't want to break that. It'd been too long it seemed since they had that between them...

"I was going to ask you what you were doing here when I first saw you, but I think the point is kind of moot." She quietly muttered. A hand dug into her jeans for keys and a hand waved him to follow as she stopped at the back porch. There was no light on, and it was unsure whether Sam was still up. "It's a surprise to see you here, but I don't mind. It's been a while since we last saw each other."

His heart - for some reason - thudded a little faster as he stepped out of the way so she could lock the door behind them. Brown watched her and thought she looked tired by the slower way she moved. The softness of her voice also gave it away, but it could be his imagination. Though it WAS rather late...

"I'm not going to order you to leave because it's a long drive back and I don't think you'd come for no reason except to say hello - especially at this time of night." She turned and headed past the kitchen to put the keys away. After dropping them on the table, she spotted a light bouncing off the wall of the stairs. Sam was in her room, so that meant they could talk a little bit. She just prayed whatever Sam was doing - if she was still awake - kept her busy and didn't come downstairs. They didn't need that right now. She walked back to the kitchen, seeing he hadn't followed, and leaned against a counter. Both arms draped across the surface to help prop her up. "In fact, I'm sure you came for a reason." Green closed. "I..." She sighed. "I just hope I'm wrong. It's...it's late after all and I'm tired."

If that was a hint not to start anything, he had to ignore it. Excuses were a dime a dozen, as his mother always said. He felt bad though, watching her sag against her support. Fists tightened in his pockets. He couldn't lose the courage to do this! Watching her wasn't going to help him if he couldn't even say what he wanted to her face!

With stiff limbs, he inched closer and when he hadn't gained her attention, put a gentle hand on her shoulder. She jumped and green shot wide. She relaxed enough, but was definitely tense from him being so near. He looked at her, but her eyes were somewhere in the vicinity of his chest before her head finally turned away.

"You can crash here if you want...if you'll be too tired to make the drive home. I wouldn't want you getting in a wreck just because I didn't want you to sleep here."

He gave a small smile. That was nice of her, even if her body was giving off reactions that told him differently. She very much wanted him away right now. "Thank you for the offer." He muttered, not moving.

She nodded back, almost idly, but didn't turn her head back. It seemed they were frozen in time before she finally gained the courage to push off the counter and pulled away from his touch. "Sam's light is on so I don't know if she's still up. This isn't the best place for a conversation where she can spy."

He always knew she was sharp...because she knew what he wanted without having to ask. She knew why he was here, which helped him and what little plan he had outlined.

Their footsteps were a little loud on carpet as they plodded up. She stopped just outside the doorway to Sam's room and carefully peered in. He held back at the stairs, watching her body for tension in case he needed to hide. Why he didn't know...but with that last conversation with Sam, he did NOT want her to see him. She would know why he was here too...if she could read him as good as she did K.

Finally, K seemed to relax and slowly slid the door to a crack. The thread of light helped him inch closer and not fall or bump into her. "It's safe." She whispered, heading for her room. "She just dozed off during studying. We don't need to worry about her hearing us."

It seemed like she was more worried about Sam noticing she was here and not him. He didn't know why, but it seemed like he wasn't as big an issue right now...when it was past midnight and he was in a house with two women. He could just be overreacting...again. No, he was NOT anal, but he did tend to over think sometimes about things that were so small. It was a habit he couldn't shake.

She cracked the door, fearing any loud noise that woke up her roommate and cruelly turned the lights on, blinding them both before leaning against her desk. Green looked to the opposite wall behind him. "So...why?" It was all she could come up with. She was tired - oh so tired - of going through this. She wanted this settled, and one way, it had to get settled tonight! Even if she lost out on sleep.

Brown closed with a small sigh. "I did some more thinking." A humorless smile rose as a hand ran through his bangs. "I think that's all I'm doing lately. Funny, ne?" Black swished as his hand dropped. "I finally came to a conclusion. I apologize for putting you through so much, but now that I know why Iwant to know...I only wish you could see my side and give a little."

Fists tightened on the overhand of the desk. It was that, or feel the sting of her nails and she had a feeling she would do permanent damage if she did THAT right now.

There was that familiar tension to both as her tongue froze up for a bit. A long pause dragged out and he wanted to fidget, but firmly forced himself to stay rooted in every bit of his body.

She grasped for the ability to speak in that time until fists tightened in self-anger at being such a wuss and took a breath. "I don't...feel comfortable talking about my past. Any of it." She whispered. Green closed and she felt a little better at not seeing him. "You've demanded more than almost any person I've ever known in my life yet. Even Sam. She never pushed this far. Why do you want to know so badly? What is so important that you'd do this?"

He hadn't expected the question, not really, and couldn't help a tiny blush. He just realized this and now he was going to share it without being able to accustom himself with the idea. Honestly...it wasn't all that scary...

He took a step forward and noticed her body was again all but shying away from him. Her head was turned down at an angle and her fists were nearly white-knuckling the desk. He felt the need to understand, but couldn't get the words out. "Because...I care. It's as simple as that...though I didn't think it was. Even when it was pointed out to me, I denied it. I thought about it and grasped it today. It made all the frustrations go away, so I went with my instincts."

Her eyes slowly opened, though they were a little unfocused as they stared at the carpet. She stared without seeing and used her bangs to hide that. She couldn't believe what she was hearing! It had to be a lie! Perhaps she was reading too much into it. She always did that with guys and look where it got her. She decided to get a REAL answer. "Friendship is no reason when I already mentioned multiple times I didn't want to talk about it." She bit out. Arms subtly crossed, a hand gripping her shirt now that it was away from prying eyes. "You can't use that as an excuse."

His head slowly shook and he stopped a pace in front of her. She still refused to look at him and it was grating. A hand reached out and grasped her chin, only managing to move her face by sheer surprise. By the wideness of her eyes, she didn't expect him to touch her. "I don't mean caring as in friendship. I mean...I CARE." Green squeezed close. She didn't try to jerk her head from his grasp. She almost seemed to stop in and he didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.

This was not happening to her! Not again! She didn't want to have to go through this again!! Hadn't she made herself immune?? Not only to herself, but to the advances of men?? She was tired of their lies and schemes! Such pretty words they spun, hiding the truth!

"K...open your eyes and look at me... Please?"

His voice was softer than she'd ever heard it. It wasn't fair. Why did she have to give in to someone like him? Why did she ever let him in and give him a chance? Only to have him interested in HER. What did he see in her to actually gain emotions? She was nothing to worry about. Nothing...

Against her will, her eyes opened...filled with tears. They met brown long enough to show him before she gently tugged her chin away and looked down. Her body stared shaking from the emotions she saw on his face. It was true. He DID care...and that would stump her more than why he kept pestering her to spill. She couldn't stop it...and she couldn't stop the mind frame she slipped back into every time this damn subject was brought up.

"K? What is it? What's wrong?" A hand reached out and halted when her head dropped forward, bangs shielding her eyes. In the light, a glitter ran down her cheek and his heart clenched. The smallest of discernable trembling shook him and worry clutched his mind. "Kalie...please tell me what's going on... Why are you shaking?"

Teeth harshly bit her lip. Her arms tightened and the fist digging into her shirt opened long enough to grab skin underneath it. She couldn't look at him in her shame. She shouldn't be seen like this! But he wore down her defenses by constantly asking and she couldn't build them back up to where they'd been before. She was raw and there was nothing to hide behind anymore.

His arms clenched to move, but he held back. He didn't know what to do, but wanted to do something. The most basic urge that kept going through him was he wanted to hold her. There was no shame in knowing that, as he would hope it would calm her down.

Again, they were frozen like that, full of indecision and internal conflict until he threw caution aside and took another step. With a harsh swallow, wondering if she'd yell for touching her without consent, hands extended and pulled her from the desk and into his arms.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Naze-Why


	30. Ch 30 1 1 2098 3rd Commentary

The main reason why he managed to get her to move period was massive surprise. She was so taken off-guard upon suddenly finding herself pressed against a warm body that it took a second for it to register.

Then her arms latched around him as tightly as his did.

Her face buried in his shoulder, silent tears wetting cotton. Her body wouldn't stop shaking, even though toned arms tightened around her waist as if to keep her from doing so. She should've tried to find a way to push away and excuse herself to calm down. There was no logical reason why she was being held and CRYING in front of Inaki. The first time since she'd known him.

Nails dug into her palms behind his back. The pain was welcome to help stop the flow and take her mind off the shaking to lighten it. It never went away...and after a few minutes, she found herself all but snuggled against his body.

He certainly didn't seem to have any complaints as the side of his head rested near her ear, arms to a comfortable tension. Green slid closed as her chin rested on his shoulder and just let herself be held. God...when was the last time she had this opportunity?

Not for over a year...seemingly forever.

It was too bad he spoiled it by shifting back and looking at her. She held his gaze for all of a second before looking away. "Kalie...why won't you look at me?"

Her jaw clenched and she forced herself to do as he asked, but opened her mouth with empty air. She couldn't answer him...as if a physical barrier was placed on her vocal chords. That was always a frustrating aspect...never being able to tell people what she needed because it was almost physically impossible. She clamed up on people so much it rooted into her brain and took the free speech command away.

A hand moved from around her waist and fingers gently tugged her chin in his direction when she looked away. "Look at me. Don't look away. It hurts to see you do that. You always used to meet my eyes... What is stopping you now?"

An apology immediately went through her brain, but her tongue seemed not to exist. It was so angering! She hated this crap! Why couldn't she speak?? Hands clenched again...so tightly her fists shook over his neck.

Brown blinked and a hand reached behind to grasp hers. Raven furrowed at he stared at her. "What? What are you doing?"

She wanted to fight him so she could keep both hands hidden to continue to be a pain outlet, but he pulled one into view and brown widened.

He didn't answer for a second, but when he did...his voice was a concerned whisper. "I won't let you hurt yourself."

But she did; she wanted to hurt herself so badly. Physical pain was better than emotional to her mind. Nevertheless, fingers loosened from the death grip on her hand. She wanted pain, but she wasn't going to defy him. Two pairs of eyes looked to her palm. Four nails had caused moon-shaped gouges from attempts without him knowing it. The newest was purple at the indents, showing how close she came to drawing blood.

"Gods...how can you DO this to yourself?"

She wanted to answer, but the words wouldn't come out. So many times they were on the tip of her tongue...but she couldn't push them out. Why oh WHY did he have to confront her about this? And why did she give in, just to get it settled?? She should've KNOWN she would've dissolved again!

"Come on...talk to me. Please... Please tell me what you're thinking; what you're feeling..."

God how she wanted to answer him...but she just...couldn't... How was it possible to be this choked up? She talked freer to her friends about the aspects she'd share...but not the way she wanted to. She never let them in like she could. But...at least she told them SOMETHING!

What was different about this person - this man - that she couldn't say ANYTHING to?

Perhaps it was because she felt the satisfaction of knowing she didn't need to explain her past...and because she didn't want to. How many people had she rambled her life story to in the beginning and they ended up leaving? And how many times did she tell herself she was going to STOP? Now someone actually wanted to KNOW?

Arms went around her waist again and hands gripped part of his shirt. She didn't want to believe anything good he could think about her because she didn't believe it herself. She didn't WANT to believe...what just cause did she have to? She wasn't anything worthwhile or beautiful. If she was, maybe the ones she dated would've stayed around...

"I can't help you if you don't TALK to me!"

Her jaw clenched at the sad whisper in his voice. She didn't want to hurt him...yet here she was...making him suffer. All because of her. Again her mouth opened and she inhaled...but it was as if she were deaf. As if she was never given the gift of speech. So again...her insecurities caused her to pause.

Abruptly, hands went up and forced her face to meet his. His hold was firm, but gentle. She met his eyes in surprise, trying not to let herself look away. "You have to stop this... What can I do to get you to at least make a sound??"

She looked away. Her jaw clenched.

Part of her was still trying to get out the mass amounts of words that sprang to mind. The other half was angry. She told her friends some details about her life before, why wasn't she able to get it out NOW? She was a coward.

Anger rant through her...self-directed anger. The word kept running through her mind. Her eyes filled with loathing and spite, though she never looked at him. Even if she knew she had his eyes. Nails tightly dug into her palms. She was a hypocrite...a massive coward! The pain was welcome, even if she felt half of it. It took focus off emotions she didn't want to feel.

"No...no. Give me your hands. Let go."

For the first time, she struggled. She didn't want to feel! Strong hands hovered over hers, trying to wedge his finger through her palm. She tried to keep her grip as tight as possible...even if the nails dug in deeper... As strong as she thought she was, he was stronger. The shaking she was going through wasn't helping. He finally dove a finger in between and wedged a second...finally managing to pry her loose.

No...NO! Pain! She didn't WANT to feel! She was tired of the emotional hurt and pain that came with feeling! That's all it ever came to in the end...

Finally he moved her fingers apart and entwined them...then for good measure, did the same with the other. She was so frustrated her eyes burned with the onslaught of tears.

"I don't care if you hurt me - I can take that - but I won't allow you to hurt yourself."

Any and all anger fizzled. She wasn't going to hurt him and if she couldn't hurt herself, there was no reason to be angry. She tried only once to twist her hands out, but his gentle, firm grip kept in steps. She gave up and let their hands rest limply at her sides. Her head slowly and resignedly slumped against his chest. Green slowly closed... Coward. She was a coward. Couldn't even apologize for shutting him out like this!

The silence in the room was deafening, even if her mind was rambling words and thoughts in nonsensical patterns. After what seemed an eternity, though probably mere minutes, his hands gradually rose and stopped next to her face. They moved at a snail's pace and detached from hers, resting both flat against his chest.

"I want you to keep your hands like that for me."

She blinked wide eyes that were glued to her hands. Her face burned, but she could do nothing to stop the feel of warmth that seeped through her skin and the instinct to curl her hands to make them a little more comfortable.

After a few seconds, his palms hovered mere inches away from her skin, then lightly brushed down her arms to wrap his around her waist. A tiny shiver stole through her, but when all was still again, she felt solid and comfortable like this.

He was being so patient, but the night was closing and they both needed sleep. Again...she inhaled to say a word, but still couldn't say anything. She just...couldn't do it... In the time they stood, she forcefully tried to quell some of the shaking. She also was able to blank some of her mind and just feel his arms and her body against his. She was getting to the point where she figured words didn't matter. She didn't have to say anything...as long as he kept holding her like this...

"Come on...let's sit down."

Green fluttered open as she was slowly inched to the bed. She let him lead, feeling a little awkward for the spell being broken. The situation, once forgotten in a haze of feeling, seemed to be brought back up...even though it was never really forgotten. As she sat on the mattress - very slowly as if afraid to make noise - he put her hands back on his chest with that silent order looming. His cupped her face instead of going back around her waist. She missed the contact of being against his body, and didn't want to meet his eyes even more. Looking into those beautiful eyes made every bit of hesitation spring forward. Her jaw clenched as syllables fought to be expressed.

Thumbs gently moved over her skin. "Come on now...enough of this. You've been quiet long enough. At least make a noise. Smile for me...come on. Just a twitch."

Nothing moved.

She couldn't tell him anything to his face. She just wasn't that brave! She couldn't look into his eyes for long. She didn't care if he judged her...he probably already HAD. But she wanted to make it up to him for staying this long by saying SOMETHING. Her face pulled away and she looked across the room to the door. She couldn't say the things she wanted - the darker parts of her soul - with Sam able to hear. She didn't want any more tension between them because of this creature she was struggling with.

Green fell on the light switch. If she could turn off the lights, she would feel more like no one was in the room! It was better than THIS anyway...

Muscles went to move, but her body stayed rooted. She was too used to the silent and immobility to suddenly move around like nothing occurred. But the idea was too good to abandon and it was a massive turning point. She had to do this! She COULD!

It only took a few more rounds before she sent him a smile that all was well and managed to get off the bed. She crossed the room in a few steps, thankfully not getting a word, and shut the door. The lights went mere seconds after that.

The spell around her was broken, she could FEEL it. Her heart beat a little faster knowing that. She could DO this! That same smile was on her face as she almost casually strode back and plopped onto the carpet in front of the bed, hands in her lap. She looked up to his form - what she could barely see with help from outside lights - and opened her mouth.

And paused.

Fists clenched, though not for the same reason, as she mentally screamed at herself to say something. She HAD to do this! She could...she WOULD! Her mouth opened as she kept screaming at herself, berating herself. Calling herself a coward.

Slowly, he slid off the bed and rested inches away. A hand found her knee and silently rested there...a quiet sentiment that he was here. This was her time to talk.

She kept ordering her mouth to make the syllables and sounds. Her jaw clenched a few more times as she struggled. It felt like she was doing something so daring, so entirely public and unlike her. But...she HAD...TO...TRY!

"I -" She paused, the barest of sounds escaping. "I -" It gained strength over the last one, but was still barely audible. "I - I'm -" Shoulders slumped and hands slacked. A condescending smile appeared. Her shoulders shook with noiseless, humorless laughter. More silence passed. She tried to make it feel like she was alone, but his hand was all too real.

"I'm a coward." She whispered. Her head hung.

"Why are you a coward?" Their voices were the barest of whispers. This new spell cast caused it.

"Because I -" She didn't know what to say. Now, when words were so important, she couldn't get them to form. Where her mind once sprouted ideas she couldn't get out, now scrambled for ANYTHING. Finally, she decided to be honest and say what lay in her heart, rather than her mind. "I - I'm not...always...like this. No one really knows about...this." She sighed, eyes locking on nothing. "I hide this from them all. Sammy doesn't know the full extend of this...pain." Nobody knew the deep extent. Even her mother - who she grew up with and loved - didn't know this. No use worrying her...

More silence. Such a person who was this patient and spent so much time trying to get her to open up deserved a few reasons WHY she was this way...

"I haven't had the easiest of lives... I've...never really had much of a family. I spent a lot of my time with my nose in books and raising myself alone. My parents worked to provide. At the time, my mother was in a lower position - though in the same job. My father...he, well -" Fists clenched as rage surfaced. Green blazed and she glared at her lap. "I - I just don't know WHY...how could someone who married - who PROMISED - for life...in a CHURCH... Why would he cheat on her??"

Anger was so intense and she couldn't let go of the death grip on her fists. She didn't feel the pain, though she knew she'd better let up if she didn't want to sear her palms. She took a slow, deep breath to remain calm.

"I didn't know anything was going on until I first heard them fighting. Not arguing - FIGHTING. I guess, by then, it'd been going on for a while. When I first found out, I was nine. But it started when I was eight." She took another deep breath and found it shaking. Green closed and she found tears pressing against her lashes. "We weren't much of a family by then. None of them thought of councilors. Work only managed to drive a wedge between them, but it was a necessity."

Her head bowed, almost in shame of her parents. She hated the fact they never stayed together, but she understood her mother's view. Who wanted to remain married to a man who slept with other - sometimes MARRIED - women?

"I was never sat down and told what was happening. I tried to be invisible and ignore the underlying tension by studying and keeping to myself. I didn't know how bad it got... But one night, I got up in the middle of the night - the times they reserved for fighting - and heard them all but screaming at each other." A shiver ran through her. Even over a decade...she could still hear their shouting. "It was soon after that eruption...that my mother filed for a divorce..." Her head bowed in sorrow. "There was no custody battle; my father handed me to my mother. I felt unwanted when I was told my father was leaving, though he said I could still visit. He set it up for me to spend my summers and some holidays. I went, because he was still my father and I loved him."

Green hardened as anger quickly replaced sadness. It never failed to enrage her whenever she thought back to what he was like.

"I knew my father loved me. Even if he didn't love my mother, he helped give me life. Every time I left, he always told me he loved me. I used to love spending time with him and looked forward to it. I always thought my mom was so emotional to things that concerned me, especially considering I was learning independence when I was seven and eight. My father never...coddled me as much as she did and I did things for myself. All this happened about two hours north in Florida." Her jaw clenched and she was quiet until it managed to relax. "I visited him until I was nearly fourteen. I met a few different women that went places with us. My father said they were just friends he was getting to know upon moving here. I was eleven...what did I know?"

Fists tightened harshly in her lap. "When I was fourteen and saw the same woman for three month's worth of vacations...that clinched it. My father had another girl in his life...he filled my mother's position." Her body shook, but she tried to still it to calm down. The anguish and rage was melding together to create a deadly mix. It was getting hard to speak with the way her chin kept wobbling. "I was so let down and disappointed. Being so young...I thought they would get back together. I was naïve. I should've KNOWN that wasn't going to happen by my mom's initial bitterness. SHE might have let go of a lot of that and forgave him...but I NEVER will."

It was getting hard to talk and keep tears at bay. She didn't want to seem weak by weeping like she normally did...not in front of him. She had to keep all that at bay to keep going. There was SO much more to tell...

"I...HATE him. He ruined it ALL. He ruined my life and I'll never forgive that. I haven't seen him since I stopped visiting and I could care less. He could be remarried with more kids for all I know. He can rot in hell."

The venom in her voice was so thick, but it did little to dim the decade of hurt and anger. This was the heart of it all and that would never go away. These were her thoughts. She was the only one - other than her mother - who knew the truth. She felt sorry for whatever woman even bothered to spend time with him.

There wasn't a peep next to her, no matter how hateful she was. He didn't move away, didn't scorn her because she had these feelings. There was no lecturing on how she should be ashamed for being so distant. Either he didn't understand because he was from a big family - which was HIGHLY possible -or he was waiting for her to go on.

She was betting on the waiting.

She took a deep breath and held it. It was time to move on and put her 'father' back in the background where he belonged. The anger swept away with a mental push and she exhaled. The emotionless numbed her and she embraced that. She would need it to continue.

"So...I grew up without both parents. I half raised myself and became highly independent, but shy to be the good child when they fought. By middle school, I was a wallflower. I was polite, soft-spoken, but wouldn't let anyone take care of me. I had my first boyfriend when I was thirteen." Her head shook with a tiny sigh. "I had no idea what I was doing... I was a stupid kid who never dated or had friends - ergo I didn't do the boy gossip or wonder how it happened. I had a study buddy who all but dealt with homework. I didn't really put too much thought to his moods until the day I finally noticed he became so quiet over a few weeks and finally asked him what was wrong." She gave the tiniest of smiles at such childish behavior. "He got all flustered and made a big deal of making me think nothing was wrong. I didn't think anything of it until the third or fourth time when he blurted out he liked me. I didn't know how to take that...so I just told him ok when he asked me out."

Her head shook at it all. "It was nothing like what I assumed. We were mostly together at school and even then we were too shy to do much. I think we only got together once for a movie and once during a holiday." A finger absently rubbed over a knee. "At the time, I still spent the holidays at my father's. That was one reason our so-called relationship lasted as long as it did. When I finally found out what my father did, I dumped all my anger and hurt on my boyfriend, thinking that's what you did in a relationship - talk about your problems."

A humorless snort sounded. "It had the opposite effect. No one knew my family's troubles - I purposely kept it that way - and when I blew up, I scared him. He openly avoided me for two days before dumping me without much explanation. Again, I didn't know how to take it. A week later of trying to ignore that gap and keep going where I left off, I spotted him in the hall...acting less shy around a girl than he did with me. When he put his arm around her shoulder, I went the opposite way and never studied with him after that."

She stopped as if for thought before sighing. "I graduated at fourteen instead of fifteen like most people to high school because I skipped an early grade. I became a little shyer because of unfamiliar surroundings and due to my age. I slowly came to know Hal and Sheryl, who were a lot more outgoing than me, and occasionally tried to get me out of my shell. I never did, but they got an A for effort. I never really deviated from how shy and polite I was no in middle school. If anything, the sting I went through of being dumped for another girl made it worse."

Fists clenched as old pain and love came back. Once upon a time, it used to be just one...but now, you couldn't have one without the other.

"You wouldn't believe how much guys like that. I never REALLY dated in middle school, so I was immune to all the attention and never bothered with boys. Which was why I was so confused and uneasy when a guy asked me in class one day about pairing up on a science project. We were supposed to pick, but I was just going to ask the teacher if I could do it on my own. I guess he had other ideas." She nervously fiddled with her fingers, looking at the floor in the opposite direction. "We worked for a week on it, and he only managed to persuade me to meet outside school once. That was all it took. I wasn't as bad outside as I was surrounded by so many people. It intrigued Brad - my hiding that little bit of spunk. He kept talking to me after the project was completed. He made me nervous, but he was nice enough so I felt compelled not to brush him off. He respected my independence, and didn't do too much unless it was something special."

A finger moved and thoughtfully rubbed over her lips briefly. "I suppose that was what did it. His advance and retreat in doing things was what I knew when with my father who would occasionally do things for me as well. I began to let him do the little things more, and when I acknowledged and became dependent...that cinched it. We went out since. He was...he was the first man I - I ever loved." Her eyes fluttered closed. "He was my first in a lot of stuff. My first love, my first kiss, my first -" She paused and blushed. She didn't think he'd want to hear about THAT... "You - you know. He opened my eyes to a lot of things in life. He pulled me from my shell quite a bit. I owed so much to him."

Fists momentarily clenched. "I came to depend on him more than I ever thought possible. We dated when I was fourteen and a half and it was typical high school dating. We were together for two years."

Her face flushed when the topic rose again. She had to mention it because it was what caused the rift.

"Two years of dating. My first kiss; my first love; first - first l - lover." Green pointedly stared at her bed to avoid looking at him. "I thought he loved me too and I would've done anything for him. But when the obvious became too obvious, I had to realize what he was ACTUALLY in the relationship for. I was almost seventeen, he was eighteen...he wanted what ALL eighteen-year-old high schoolboys wanted. I was devastated...but I knew I had to break it off. He was my first love, but I don't think I remember him returning the sentiment." 

Her brow furrowed sadly. "I approached him after school in private one day, saying he was just using me and never loved me. Of course Brad got angry...but he never said different." Her body stiffened. "He...he threw back...such hurtful words..." Tears appeared, but she tired to blink them back. "Said he had no reason to love me because I had such emotional baggage and it would do him no good to get attached." An ultimately bitter look crossed her face. "Two years...all for nothing. I loved a lie." Green squeezed shut.

"Sheryl tried to get me to go out with her brother, but I just couldn't. I kept the details from them because it was too painful and I didn't want to drag them into it. I was wheedled into going once, but that was mostly guilt enforced. Hal's a nice guy, but I was - and still am - in love with Brad. I will always be. One doesn't forget the people they love...especially not your first love. Even if they tear your heart out..."

There was a short pause as she composed the torn edges of her emotions. The feeling of detachment lingered and she embraced it...tried to magnify it.

"I graduated at seventeen and immediately shot for college. I had plans for my life and wanted them to come so I could leave high school behind. I wanted to forget all of that. So I applied for financial aid and scholarships, taking trips to the job world. I wanted something close to campus because I intended on living in the dorms." A nostalgic smile graced her, the barest of tilts. "I spied on a corkboard in passing during a freshman tour and found Sam's ad. The rent was reasonable, if not a little cheaper, so I decided to give it a shot."

The smile widened. "One look around and half an hour meeting got me a new best friend, even if it took a while for her to dig everything out of me. When she found out how long I'd been single, she immediately tried to match-make me with one of the guys in her class."

A deep frown marred her face. "Had I been smarter, I would've insisted to getting to know the guy before accepting the date. But it'd been a year since Brad and I was mostly over him and getting tired of being alone. I felt a connection when I first laid eyes on him and had a very good time. When I asked if we could do the same, he agreed. We hung out three more times before officially being a couple." Unease swept over her and a finger rubbed over skin. "He was funny, good-looking, mildly sensitive, intelligent... I think the emotion I felt was attraction. I always wanted to be around him, and it seemed till forever before we met again. I was happy again for one of the few times in my life."

The unease diluted with sadness. Trying to hide the insecurity she always felt, arms loosely hugged the bottom of her stomach.

"He seemed to get upset when I tried to physically touch him sometimes. I wasn't much good at showing affection with so little practice, but even I knew when he shied away. I didn't know why and when I asked what was wrong, and why he never tried to hug or kiss me when I initiated something, I think that started the down-spiral." She shifted against the carpet, getting the feeling of wanting to crawl in a hole. "We fought almost all the time and mostly it would stem from me asking what was wrong or trying to apologize. I always felt the need to apologize. Even when I did, I still felt he didn't accept it or it wasn't enough."

Her legs shifted against her chest and arms tightly hugged them. "He could turn my emotions any which way and all he had to do was theorize things. Most of the time I was upset or insecure...others I would do or say anything to go back to what we were. I told him this, but he never gave me answers or a way to change it. He was so frustrating and I cried so easily over it..."

She looked away, eyes dull. "There was maybe two to three months of good times...the rest was fighting." Tears sprang to her eyes, but this time they wouldn't be blinked back. She quietly sniffled and refused to wipe her eyes. "We went out for six months before I had enough. I was tired of feeling worthless and unsure...like nothing I did would ever please him... I gained the courage to tell him I wanted to break up and explained everything when he asked why. We argued and I broke down. I couldn't stand it anymore..."

Tears fell and she used her hair as a curtain. There was enough moonlight to be able to tell. "I left and came back here. I all but bawled my eyes out. Even though he twisted me later on, I came extremely close to loving him...and that's something I take seriously. I even gave him myself in the beginning...before it all changed. I thought it meant something as it did to me."

Her head sadly shook. "I tried to go back to studying - what had always been a release and rock - but I never retained anything. Arthur...he effectively broke me...and I couldn't put myself back together. Nothing helped. It - it...got so bad...one day I stopped caring."

_Her eyes stared at the words without even seeing. A hand propped her head up as she kept staring._

_Her mind was empty again. This was the third time this week. Would she ever stop feeling this way??_

_'No. I'm not that lucky enough to find my way back to where I was...'_

_Damn it...there were those cursed tears! She angrily swiped them away, but soon was letting them fall and taking solace on her comfy bed and burying her face in the pillow. There was no clue how long she stayed like that until a thought came to mind._

_'This can't continue.'_

_She was so tired of all this. She wanted it gone, but there was no way to stop feeling so worthless and like she would never do anything right again._

_There was ONE way really...and if she was brave enough, she'd go that route and finally be free of everything Arthur did to her. Teeth bit her lip as slid off the bed and slowly padded to the bathroom. Green lit on the shower wall and what rested there._

_A razor._

_Something simple enough that could possess a way out. It was a cleverly disguised angel of mercy and she seemed to stare for the longest time before her feet moved on their own and she was sitting on porcelain._

_Green emotionlessly stared as she debated doing this. She weighed the choices and finally realized to hell with everyone else. They didn't have to deal with this and they would never understand. She wanted to be selfish right now!_

_Her hand moved and gingerly clutched the handle, watching the silver gleam in the light. With a harsh swallow, it rested in her lap - near an exposed wrist - as she waited for the right time of courage to overtake her._

_Her thinking was a little too deep, her attention too captured, to hear the barest of footsteps. She effectively missed her chance._

_"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"_

_The shocked look would never go away. That look of horror and surprise would always remain with her._

_"I...I'm just so tired of it all... I just want to sleep. Forever. Can't you go away and pretend you didn't see any of this?" She pleaded, eyes tearing._

_"No fucking WAY! Give me that! Are you CRAZY!? What's the MATTER with you?!?" Sam had never been angrier at her. They played a lot with that, but this was true rage she was seeing and it made a shiver run through her._

_She shrank back a few inches when her roommate stormed forward and yanked the razor from her hand. She willingly let it go...wanting to run to her room and hide, but Sam was blocking the exit. "...You don't want to know."_

_"Of COURSE I do! I want to know a very damn good reason why you had such a dangerous weapon like THIS in your hand!! And you WILL tell me because I'm NOT budging even if my life depends on it! And so does yours, so start SPILLING."_

An arm turned and rested palm up. A hand moved and wrapped around her wrist. A thumb meaningfully rubbed over where major veins ran.

"It was an attempt to find peace again. Had Sam not come home early...I...I might not...be here now." Both arms went to their previous spots as they hugged tighter than before. "I realized my mistake after that day. I would let NO one rule over me again...never make me feel that lost. I set about building my walls to the general public and distanced myself from my past even more and focused on my studies. They were and always had been a way out of life."

A humorless smile edged her lips again. "Sam felt responsible for the whole thing and said she wanted to make it up to me. It'd been another year and I missed having someone in my life. I felt strong enough to try again. I let Sam fix me up with Eugene, an old friend of the family that she trusted more than Arthur. He was nice enough and I had fun. But I never let myself attach. I told him only the barest of essentials about my life and never let him go deeper. I let him hold me and I kissed him a few times, but that was it. I wouldn't give myself to anyone without it meaning something both ways. I did it to Brad and Arthur...and I vowed never again."

Her head drooped over her knees, feeling tired. "The only reason we managed to go out even five months was because I had school and work. He finally approached me and said he didn't think it was working out. I let him go and didn't get to broken up over it - I wouldn't let myself. I heard a few weeks later he was going out with some girl."

She shrugged. "It's acceptable. I didn't get angry cause I gave Eugene no reason to stay. I've come to accept that they all leave. I wasn't much good for them to stay around and felt the need to push me away somehow. Even after everything I gave... I just wonder if they would've stayed if I had been prettier or more outgoing..."

Her forehead touched her knees, finally giving her jaw a rest. That was enough of her past that she remembered. It was the basest of explanations that would never do the pain justice. They could never understand it because they weren't there. All she had were words and memories she wanted gone. Out of all that...there was nothing to keep. Even the good reminded her of the bad.

Hands tentatively rested over her shoulders after a span of silence. Her breathing stopped when she felt the vague outline of his head and breath on her back. He was silent for a while and she wondered if he was going to say anything. Maybe he was just giving comfort?

These were the moments that counted. He would either get weirded out or understand. Those were the only two choices.

"You are a beautiful person." He slowly whispered, voice tight. "You're smart and intelligent on many things in life...you're wise...creative...responsible...reliable...kind...generous... More so than I will ever be..."

Her head shook, denying all that. No! None of it was true! She wasn't any of those things...she was a weak crybaby...

More tears stung her eyes.

He shifted when her head started shaking and gently turned her around. She went without protest and clung to him again when his arms wrapped around her. Her head buried in his chest as she silently cried and a weight settled over her head. She didn't know what right she had to tell someone all that and he was still around. To say such things to her...hadn't he listened? Why didn't he run away with the rest of them??

Her brain fizzled on the berating questions after a while as she accepted his arms and heat. He was so warm...and he felt so solid... It was a comfort she desperately needed. Despite the realization, she yawned and immediately felt the late hours.

Dark brown moved and widened at spying the hour for the first time. It was almost two! K had to get up for her job in so few hours... He felt guilty and pulled back enough to look at her. The few seconds of 'normality' seemed to let sleep creep in and do some damage. Her eyes were closed, but her breathing wasn't deep enough for sleep. She was already halfway there in a matter of minutes.

"K...Kalie... Come on, let's get you to bed." She mumbled a general groan of concomitance, and stood when hands wrapped around her arms. She leaned against him and yawned again, using a hand to futilely cover it. "Almost there K... What time do you set your alarm to?"

Green blinked at a snail's pace. "I can...do it..." She mumbled. She all but staggered the few steps and pressed a button down. Brown widened even farther at seeing six and the urge to get her to bed to catch precious minutes grew. An almost silent click turned the alarm on and she plopped down on the bed.

He helped her slip under the covers and covered her up. A hand clutched his when he made to stand - wondering where he would find blankets without waking them up - halting both mind and body.

"Please don't leave me alone right now..."

How could he deny that request? She was tired, but the plead was so heavily in her voice it nearly brought tears to his eyes. Without thinking about it, and not regretting it, he pulled the comforter aside and slid in next to her. She shuffled a few inches to the back frame on the small bed...but once he was settled, she shifted back enough to lean against his chest. He didn't hesitate and again didn't think. He was like K in some aspects. Mentioning the long time frames of single life and hating to be alone...of needing someone in your life...he knew exactly what she meant and what it was like to feel alone.

An arm wrapped around her waist and tucked her securely against him as his face stopped immediately behind the curtain of hair. Her body sagged and she quickly drifted off. Just before he followed, he caught the scent of vanilla on her pillowcase and inhaled deeply. His face snuggled against her hair, smelling the same wonderful scent and let it be a catalyst for slumber.

@~~~~~ Time for the third commentary. Finally...THE chapter is out and exposed in the open with Kalie's secrets. ::hands out boxes of tissues and wastebaskets to throw them in:: Because I've emailed a few people mentioning the angst I pull from my life, I will now point out to everyone who doesn't know just what is fiction and what is NOT...because I bet some of it is hard to believe and think I'm just doing it to make the characters suffer. Well...that too. ^^;

The scene from about 5-10 paragraphs down to the telling of family life is real. I wrote all of that on paper one day shortly after that happened to me. Yes I clammed up that bad - it's possible for some people. The family life I twisted a bit, but it happened. Instead of the wife divorcing, it was my father that divorced my mother and I was under my father's custody. Yes I did find out my mom slept with other married men. The studying was changed from books. I was - and still am to some degree - a massive bookworm. I will read anything that can take my mind off things. The first boyfriend is kind of correct. I had something like that - which I assume is a lot of middle school relationships - but I broke up with him, not the other way around, and it wasn't over a girl. The Brad topic was mostly made up and partly taken from my first kiss. 'What do high school boys want indeed?' The third boyfriend and that part happened. I dated a man who emotionally manipulated me for months until I broke it off with him. There are people out there like that so don't think I'm writing this just to make K suffer. The suicide issue is true. Except I saved myself, I didn't have anyone living with me at the time to pull my mind to safety. It's a scary issue to be there, but being 'selfish' isn't something people think about. No one can get angry at K (or me for that matter) for wanting to end. You've never been there, and for those who have...this might've struck a chord. The last scene is real. So will some of the next chapter for that matter.

A lot of this was based on about 80-85% real life occurrences. I specified in the second commentary when I talked about Sam that I was going to put some of my life in this story, and a lot of K I claim. I think I can claim ALL of her in that aspect. Because of the anguish, it COULD be a Mary Sue for making the character suffer something so blatantly out of whack with the real world, that the hero(ine) falls in love with them. That COULD be...if not for that it happened to me, and probably others that suffered similarly. And because I forewarned some-to-all (depending on who read my settings) that I claimed a lot of Kalie's moods, they knew this is not a Mary Sue character.

The rest of this commentary will deal more with things that make up the year 2097. There was a definite view I had of the U.S. when I wrote up profiles. By making it 100 years in the future, I intended on playing things I WISHED mankind would do and heal the Earth to keep from destroying it that much faster. It may seem sci-fi to some, but remember it's 100 years and we can only hope (and pray) someone SMART and young gets into office and doesn't take crap or is swayed by money or officials to get this country put back on the right track for the future generations.

First - solar-powered appliances. Many have seen this, especially when I talk about cars. They make prototypes now, but not many know about it. I would assume in that time frame, someone environmentally inclined would get off their butt and finally talk some sense into the motor companies. Of course oil, anti-freeze, radiator fluid, etc would have to exist as heat would be a BIG time issue...but solar-power would replace gasoline. As for appliances, there would be a generator (like with cars) sitting outside that plugged into the house. Kind of hooked like air conditioners to rooms and appliances would be hooked into the walls like electricity rigging and pipe layout to gain power. Ingenious, ne? ^^

Second - Inaki's cd player and cd size in general. Ever watch Men In Black? When K holds up the little cd when he shows J around, it's the size of his palm. That's the size I was going for. And with the compacting like that, so too would they find ways to make everything smaller (just like they do with everything ELSE). With the ability to make cell phones and land lines, computers and mouses cordless...I think they would find a way to do the same with cd players and other items. All they'd need to do is have a sensor built in like they do with computers and find a way to extend the range. Wouldn't THAT be kewl?

Third - the war issue. I can only hope if someone that ecologically minded got in power, he would realize war is NOT the way to go to solve issues with someone you don't like. So war would be a thing of the past. Roger telling about having to go through it is because we've been involved in the current one for...four years now? He's 72 in the year 2097. I assume it'll go on a lot longer.

Fourth - music. The cds listed that Inaki gives K - and the music they both listen to - is something I took from now and changed the date. I don't know what will spring from folk, country, rock, etc next so I will use this century's music. And when I talk about oldies (as you'll most likely hear in future chapters if not mentioned already) is the 70s and 80s music. Also, by listing the music groups...expect songs in the future in certain scenes.

Fifth - dates/time. With every chapter I write, when I save to h.d, I put down an exact date by M-F, mo, day, and year. (Helps MASSIVELY because I've had to go back and look through for details.) I use the 2003-2004 calendar because it's quicker and simpler to look dates up. Also, putting the date down on letters or mentioning it in stories keeps the reader up to date. I know every once in a while when I read a fiction, I like to keep the timelines straight...so I do the same for myself and everyone else.

Sixth - locations. Of course Miami is a real city. So is Andytown. I looked them both up on mapquest and yes they are in the range of 40 miles of each other. I assume Andytown is small from my search, but I doubt the nationality living within it. I made that part up. Westchester is right next to Miami as well in the 10 mile range. Anything else I envision from cities I've lived in as a kid.

The next ten chapters are going to follow the pattern I've got going. Boy meets girl - check, boy gets to know girl - check, boy GETS girl. The first plot is over with the second beginning. The next ten will deal with Inaki trying to worm his hot, toned little body ::drools:: into K's heart. Me...I'd have given up the first minute he asked to write me (and I know half of you would've given up LONG before that even came about!), but of course K's gotta be stubborn. It's what aggravates readers and gives me story ideas. ^_^

I have to use extra space and say how ecstatic I am about everyone that reviewed before the fiasco and who love this story. (okay I lied about this being shorter than the second commentary...I like to talk, sue me - no wait, don't) Thank you to those that emailed me on the sidelines expressing your concern, and even those who wondered without emailing me. This is the first story I've gotten so much praise for and people involved in. You people are so awesome and I love you all...platonically of course. ^^

Another mention about the eyes. I've emailed this to people, it's in settings (which people really need to read lol), and I'll mention it here so anyone can come back to it without fear of ffnet deleting it on me again. ::growls:: I'm using eye color because it identifies with people. Dark emerald green (think pine trees, or look at the pic I've got on my page) for Kalie, dark brown for Inuyasha (think Kagome or Sango's colors), light blue for Sam. Sam's won't change...but the other two will. I stress eye color for that reason...so there's your little inside info. I just gave away a plot tidbit and didn't mean to so I hope everyone is happy. Just make sure you keep that in mind when that comes around! Just remember I can't divulge story details (as much as my squealing little heart desires to give away plots) and any questions will have to be directed to settings, have to wait until the chapters come out, or I will answer as best I can. 

Next commentary will deal with a little bit about Kalie and Inaki. I have pretty detailed profiles for them, and I'll share a few things that make up the characters. Okay I'm shutting up now and hope you like 31. ~~~~~@


	31. Ch 31

Somewhere in the dark realm of her mind, there was the best feeling of contentment. Right now she felt like staying right where she was. There was nothing playing out in her mind - her dreams were blank this time, but the darkness was comforting. There was a small knowledge she was smiling due to this happy state. Even though she couldn't see herself, she knew.

Then the utter annoying screech of her alarm jolted her to conscious.

She jumped and immediately gained an adrenaline rush at finding a barrier around her waist and back. A sleepy, protesting groan at her moving jolted everything back.

Wide eyes stared as best as possible at Inaki's arm still around her waist...felt the slight weight of feet entwined with hers. But most of all, that ever present warmth keeping her more than toasty.

A full out blush lit her face, but the incessant beeping needed to be halted before it woke up her...bed companion. She did NOT want to deal with that aftermath right now. As quickly and stealthily as possible, she detangled arms and legs and crept over one edge of the frame. Mere seconds later the beeping shut off and wary eyes shot back to the other side, spearing his face to check on any signs of waking. Thankfully...there were none. She slouched in the quiet in relief...then heaved a big yawn.

DEFINITELY not enough sleep.

But she was not allowed to sleep in. As much extra time as she had to go back to bed, she couldn't afford to have Sam walk in and see Inaki. That's ALL she needed! Sam tried to get them together enough as it was...the last thing she wanted was to be praised for getting Inaki closer than Sam would ever be able to nudge.

An utter annoyed look crossed her face. She could picture that happening. And to halt that, she inched over Inaki's legs as carefully as possible to keep him from waking up. He didn't need to get up just because she was going to work. She would let him sleep in, but there would be no fun and games after they got back. It would be best if he not hang around to keep asking questions.

She stopped just off the bed when his form shifted in the quietest of protest groans. Her limbs tightened in apprehension as he scooted a closer to where she had been...subconsciously wondering where she'd gone to. The arm that wrapped around her slowly moved over the mattress a few times before he gave up and ended up snuggling his face a little closer to her pillow.

She couldn't help it...she smiled. Her face softened a little as she looked at him and couldn't help to stare...even for a little while. He was handsome during the day, but when he was asleep it turned into devilishly good looks liberally sprinkled with innocence. She suddenly found herself kneeling somewhere near his waist to watch him.

He was a heavy sleeper that was for sure. Sleeping through her alarm, her getting out of bed and the loss of being in it didn't faze him. If that was the case, she felt a little safe at putting some weight to take the pressure off her legs. But as she moved, she found herself leaning forward with the side of her face pressed against the upward curve of his ribcage.

There wasn't one peep or shift from above, and she gave in to a secret moment...if only to show a small sense of gratitude in one of the few ways she knew.

He was still here. He hadn't snuck off in the night with no answer or pulled away from her at all. He even offered kind words, though she still didn't want to believe them. Her face fell a little. Better than he was? Not so likely. After all...how long did it take for her just to utter a simple syllable??

She slouched back and stared at the hands in her lap. She was so confused about his behavior. Every other time was simple tell-and-run procedure...what made him stay around?

_"I don't mean caring as in friendship. I mean...I CARE."_

Green squeezed shut. She couldn't believe THAT. Why did Inaki care about her like THAT? So confusing...

Part of her knew she was wasting time and stood. There was hours to dwell on this if the morning was slow enough. And provided she could slip it by Sam. A small smirk appeared as she quietly grabbed work clothes from their resting spots. She got PLENTY past Sam...this wouldn't be too hard either. It wasn't that she didn't trust her best friend, but she wanted to deal with this on her own. She didn't want help...plain and simple.

Was it selfish of her to think that? Blame the independence factor, but it influenced her greatly. Her head shook in dismissal as she stared at the form facing the wall and bit her lip. Dare she chance changing with him in the room?? He was a deep sleeper and she could change directly behind his head so even if he woke up, she would be able to tell him to stay still.

So long as she didn't do anything to help his imagination along.

The pants went first as there was no possibility to get around changing there. The one good thing about being a woman was inventing new ways to change clothes in front of others and still be able to keep your dignity and modesty. With a little maneuvering, her work shirt was successfully swapped with the one left on from last night...both shirts on her body at the same time in the process.

That done, she put last night's clothes in the hamper and pinned her nametag to finish the job. She had very little time to spare before she risked the possibility of Sam barging in...but again spent it staring at his slumbering form. There was a small part that felt bad for leaving him like this without telling him she was going to work. She would be back by noon and knew without a doubt he'd still be here. As much as she wished...it wasn't over.

Her gut told her it wasn't.

She sighed, wishing there was going to be a way to bury this after last night. She poured her heart out, he hadn't left, open and close. But now she felt awkward. He knew a good portion of her life story...more than SAM did. She placed that much trust by saying anything. And she said it ALL. So what did that say about her opinion of him?

Hands covered her face. 'I just don't KNOW...' Confusion and frustration...not something she wanted to deal with while at work with people she was supposed to be chipper and polite to.

Whipping around, she strode for the door and cracked it open. Sam's door was still where she closed it and she heaved another sigh of relief. Slipping out, she closed the door after and headed to the stairs for breakfast.

The second she turned past the wall on the bottom step, she loudly gasped and a hand automatically slapped against her chest. "Don't DO that!" She quietly hissed, glaring.

At least this hadn't changed...

Light blue blinked when their eyes met. "What?"

Giving a bored look, she strode over and tried to open cupboards and anything that would make a ruckus as silently as possible. Her behavior eventually gained Sam's curiosity...which she knew was bound to happen.

"What're you doing? There's no need to worry about waking the neighbors."

'Oh yes there is...' She wanted to smile, but bit her lip to hide it. She didn't try to lie to Sam on purpose, but this was not something she wanted to go into right now. Inaki's car was out front, she would have questions the second the inside door was opened.

"It's...nothing." She muttered, putting on a show of looking tired. Breakfast was thankfully noiseless and she trooped around with a few wary eyes on her door.

"Why is your bedroom door closed?"

Drat again! Why was Sam so perceptive at not even seven in the morning?? She gave her friend a tired look and shrugged before going in to brush her teeth. Sam accompanied her in with an even expression, which didn't say one word about what she was thinking.

"You have everything?" Sam questioned, zipping up her coat.

"Khakis, work shirt, and nametag. Check, check, and check." She dryly answered, slipping gloves on.

"Okay...let's go get this day over with. I have studying to...do..." Could she peg her friend or could she peg her friend? If she wasn't so worried about the onslaught for the next few hours - what she KNEW wouldn't cease until Sam was threatened with bodily harm or having to clean the breakfast area - she would've laughed. "Isn't that...Inaki's car?" Sam slowly pushed the screen door open and stopped at the steps.

Hastily, she locked the door behind them and started for the car. "Does it look like it?" She bypassed, not looking at her friend.

Sam blinked wide eyes before whipping them to the back of K's head. "Inaki...is here? Right now? In this house??" A hand pointed to the building.

Leaning against the car, she sighed and crossed her arms for warmth.

The two locked eyes and Sam forced herself to rush over and get in her friend's face. There was no denying going on...but deep green stared at the ground with a pensive face. Blue widened until it became painful and Sam hopped the steps. "Inaki's here! I don't believe it! He stayed the night!? He wasn't in the living room..." A light bulb turned on. "Your door was closed...you stashed him in there??"

She met Sam's eyes, but didn't speak. She knew they would answer for her.

Sam almost stumbled back a step. "I...I don't believe this..." A wide smile broke through. "I'm so proud of you! I knew you had it in you! There had to be some feminine seduction left in there somewhere!"

She glared when Sam's hand clapped her shoulder. "We're going to be late." She bit out. A hand moved and a thumb jerked behind her to the car. "Mind unlocking this thing? I haven't been late yet and I don't intend to be."

There was a dim in the Sam's mood from her friend and also the fact that they WOULD be late, if not for the fact that they lived only blocks away. "Ah, right...right. You can tell me all about it in the car."

'Not so likely.' She darkly thought. She tried not to slam the door and immediately looked out the window. There would be no squealing of any kind over what went on last night. She wasn't proud of how much control she lost and how much rage she showed concerning her family. Sam didn't know how badly she spited her father and never would. The girl wouldn't understand...she loved her own too much.

The rapid-fire questions didn't cease, but she ignored them by not answering and all but plastering her face against the window. Sam was not going to be happy about her knowingly housing Inaki where she couldn't get details or the chance to tease her about it. She had enough to deal with without THAT happening.

"If you don't stop purposely slowing down so the drive takes longer, we're going to be late." She ground out, leaning her head against the glass. She was so tired. Even if she was used to getting anywhere between six to eight hours normally, it was always nice to get more. And not getting enough to satisfy her schedule was going to make her cranky enough without having to deal with Sam's whining.

"Spoilsport. You're NOT getting out of hiding that boy in your room right under my nose. When did he tiptoe in? How quiet WERE you?? I had my door open after all."

Green widened as her face flamed. At least Sam succeeded in getting her attention... "We did nothing LIKE that!!" She screeched, fists clenching. Thank God for gloves... "Get your mind out of the gutter and take the turn into the driveway!"

"Prude." Sam muttered. Sam's whining halted as she took initiative and set the breakfast area up. She took extra care in making sure everything looked pretty to keep from being in the employee area. The last thing she wanted was facing those inquisitive blue eyes and questions when the phone didn't ring or she was pulling stuff from the fridge.

After that, she started right in on getting what laundry hadn't been folded overnight and putting it away...forcing Sam to watch the front and keep an eye on the phones. She smirked and put one of the many fluffy white towels on the pile. There were ways around anything.

She sobered and hands paused. She gave the towel a blank stare, mind humming. So how was she going to deal with what awaited her at home? How was she going to get around THAT??

What would await her at twelve thirty?

~*~*~

Brown fluttered open and stared at dark cherry wood and a white wall. He shifted with a groan and rolled over, vanilla blasting him. The night flooded back...all of it.

Solemn eyes stared at the ceiling when he flopped to his back. Suddenly, he sat up and stared at the bed he was in...K's bed. Thankful he was alone, he flushed a little. It was strange to be sitting in her bed - though he was fully clothed - and under the covers. A slight smile appeared as his right hand roamed over where she slept last night. Her form fit rather nice against his, he had to admit. Not many girls he slept with in that way managed to do that. Even as tired as he was, his brain was able to recognize that.

There was a quick thought of her coming back to the room, but he spied the clock and brown widened. It was ten thirty! A hand slapped his forehead. What was it with him and sleeping in so late here??

He sighed and pulled the comforter away, missing the warmth but resolved to get up. He had things to ponder over and digest. Last night - or more like this morning - was heavy and he hadn't been able to deal with it. Sam was right in one big case though.

_"If you don't want to open Pandora's Box, you'd be best to let it go."_

Brown hardened as he stared at his hand on the door. His body froze as guilt washed over him.

_"What is so godly important that you would make her go through all that?? That whole decade is something she'd rather NEVER live through again."_

The words washed over him. For his own selfish greed of wanting to know...he indeed made her live through that again. Guilt ate him even more, and a little self-directed anger as well.

He pulled the door open and headed for the bathroom. He was such a bastard and this was one of the many ways. His ignorance and not listening to advice at times - like now - was one of his downfalls. Being stubborn was another and both of those combined were dangerous.

He headed downstairs and looked around. Of course the two would be at work, but the quiet seemed heavier than normal. 'Perhaps because of what you just learned baka.' He berated.

He couldn't hide the fact that K's past unsettled him a little. How could it NOT? He didn't think something so horrible would ever happen to her. Especially not something she would let get to her so much where she would try to take her own life. Not someone as strong as K. He just couldn't picture her with a razor in her hand, ready to let it press into her skin and drain her life away.

_I don't want to fight with you on this because it's not worth it to know. Honestly, there's nothing good about my past to ask, so I don't even have the good parts._

His head bowed in shame, bangs covering his eyes. Why hadn't he listened to the one person who knew what she was talking about? A hand came up and lightly bopped him on the head. Total baka...he couldn't stress that enough. With a sigh, shaking his head at his own massive stupidity, he headed into the kitchen and scoured the fridge for something to take outside.

He couldn't think in here.

He sat on the back porch, huddled up in the sweatshirt that didn't keep him warm enough. Had he known it was going to be a little colder today - even forty plus miles south - he would've packed an extra coat. He sighed and tiled the tall glass with dried cereal...the only thing that sounded appealing.

There wasn't much for a view like there was at home, but he wasn't out here to look. He was out here to think and even being out in this small of a yard would be fine. It wasn't his spot, but it was nature.

Gods how did he take this now? He didn't want to feel sorry for her, but he did. It must've been hell raising herself without family. He tried to imagine what it would've been like without HIS and quickly discarded the thought. His family was so precious and deeply rooted in his life, it was impossible to think of what he'd do without any them. Which he couldn't.

The rage she displayed made him want to shiver, and not from the cold. He didn't know someone like that could be filled with such anger...and definitely not toward the one who gave her life! Even though he didn't spend much time with his otousan, he had a lot of respect and treated Omo as he should be for helping to put him here.

But still...the disrespect and humiliation put upon K and her mother was enough to give them reason for such hate. They were betrayed by a man who couldn't control his own lust.

Pathetic.

Her dating record wasn't much, but it was filled with guys who manipulated her physically and emotionally...which angered him. Even shy, she was still a great person. His words last night were true. She was all those things...but when she denied them, he felt sorry that she didn't believe him. It made him want to seek out this Arthur guy and beat the shit out of him for twisting K's emotions around without thinking what he was doing. The damage done was amazing and severe...and it was astonishing that K was ABLE to pull herself from it and be stronger because of it.

Not to mention all she went through from the betrayal with Brad. Someone she loved that much...gave that much time and emotion to...only to have it thrown back in her face... His fists clenched to the point of his arm shaking.

Someone that didn't love her back with the intensity that she did - with as pure of a love for her age - was inexcusable. Even an eighteen-year-old high school boy had more on his mind than sex.

She was more amazing than he originally thought and his relatively high opinion of her grew double.

Brown gravitated to a wrist as he stared. His eyes slowly narrowed as the hand clenched to a tight fist. "Kisama-ra...boku wa zettai yuresanai." He growled. For what they did, he would hate them for her, as she seemed unable to hate those she loved.

His head thumped against the siding as he sighed. His mind blanked for a while and time warped. The wind blew regardless and continued to steal whatever warmth he tried to keep. After a while, not reaching a conclusion enough for his needs, he was forced to go back inside.

He just shut the door and locked it when the faint jangle of keys gained his attention. His body whipped around and brown landed on K. Even with Sam standing next to her giving a rather gleeful, questioning glance...brown couldn't leave the reason he was here.

In the blink of an eye, it all became clear. Staring across the way with deep green eyes faintly tense gave him the answer he was seeking. There was no way to 'take' it. There was no reason to feel awkward for knowing, or to be ignorant and go back to the way they were. They COULD go back to the way they were - as he preferred that - but they would go FORWARD, not back. He would not turn away from this knowledge...not while seeing her emotionally vulnerable and trying to sidestep it.

"Hey Inaki...didn't know you were here. She hasn't told me details and she's been cranky all day long. I'd advise you to get while the getting's good."

While Sam was rather tactless, she was correct about him leaving. It was past noon, as stated by the stove clock, and he should be getting back before his shinseki worried themselves to death.

He smiled a little and headed for the front door. "Aa...you're probably right." Having a good view of K's face made him feel a little bad for seeing her let down a bit. His hand lightly rested on her shoulder. "Will you see me to my car please?"

Green blinked a little wide, but she nodded and grabbed her coat. Wordlessly, she let him pass her on the porch and followed to the car. So this was it...perhaps he WAS leaving after all. Not temporarily, but permanently. Seeing him in the kitchen gave her no clues to his behavior or thoughts, but she was tense upon laying eyes on him. She didn't know how to handle this now or go back the way they were, the way she wanted to go. She gave him the information he wanted and now she desperately wished he'd forget it and they could go back to the letters and occasional visits. Tears formed in her eyes and she tried blinking them away, but he stopped and turned...noticing before she could cover them up.

He felt bad...knowing he hadn't explained himself enough for her tastes and couldn't help but hug her. Not to mention he replied to Sam's statement which was put entirely wrong. He was a little relieved when her arms latched onto him as tightly as they had last night.

"So...you're leaving? This's it?"

The waver in her voice tore at him, but he would set that right immediately. He pulled back far enough to look into her eyes and gently smiled. "Only for now. I think you have a letter to write me. It's been a long time and I wrote the last one. A month or two, I think...it has been a while hasn't it?"

The smile she gave was worth the apology. She nodded and hugged him even tighter than before, which he complied with. "I...I don't know...how good it'll be though..." She mumbled into his sweatshirt. "You know how boring I am and -"

In the blink of an eye, he pulled away and directed her face to his with a hand. His eyes were kind, but his jaw was tight. "You are about as boring as I am. I am the one who leads the basic life of work and home." His fingers squeezed. "You just gained more interest than before...so don't discount yourself." She immediately flushed even more than just being out in the cold and looked away with an embarrassed smile. All she could give was a small nod. "And I hope from now on you don't feel you can't tell me anything. The step you took last night was the biggest you'll ever take, and now that you passed that...you can conquer anything. Please don't ever close up like that on me again."

Their eyes met, hers wide and innocent...his serious and concerned. This moment he would engrave in his mind forever. His arms tightened to tug her closer to his body and his head drooped.

She received the biggest shock of her life and could only stare at his neck when his lips met her forehead. Sure they kissed her bangs...but she could care less! His grip was the only thing keeping her from sliding to the ground. He sure did an effective job of speeding up her heart and keeping her from being cold!

Pulling away, he gave her a small, sheepish grin. He wanted to laugh at her flustered look and the constant blinking...as if she were trying to connect her vision again. He gave a quick squeeze before detangling and pulling away. "You should get inside before you get a cold. You don't need that with school and work. I'd feel guilty for keeping you out here."

Her mouth opened to retort that he was just being silly, but all she could manage was a shake of her head. She stepped back a bit, a hand going to her cheek. "No...I - I'm fine. I'm warm enough now." Green widened. "Uh - I mean...I'm -"

He waved her off, grin stretching. "I get it." With a quick wink he opened the door. "I'll be seeing you K."

Her heart fluttered at his insinuation. She didn't need to wonder about it because his proof was the friendly smile and look in his eyes.

And the kiss? That was something she put away later to dissect.

Stepping back, she rounded to the sidewalk and returned his wave. After a minute, he pulled away from the street. She ran a little bit after the car, arm waving goodbye the whole way. She couldn't help the easy laughter that escaped. Arms hugged herself in sheer glee. She couldn't believe her luck! The gamble paid off and for the good!! Inaki was still around and - by the sound of things - they'd go back to normal!

Nearly floating to the front door, not in the mood for any kind of homework, she opened the door and found Sam jumping back from the curtains. She bypassed it and grinned. "Get your coat back on...we're going out for lunch. I'm buying."

Ash blonde brows shot into her scalp, but never one to let a free food ticket go to waste, Sam hurried for her coat. "And shall I inquire as to the reason for us hustling our butts in the cold again?"

She playfully glared at the tone of voice. "You've been spying probably the whole time so don't give me that." A finger wagged as Sam grabbed her keys, smiling as well. "I'm not telling you everything, but I will say that everything smoothed out and will go back to normal."

Blue blinked in shock. "Really? Wow...what changed his mind? Did you finally have it out? Was that why he was here?"

Sam could either mean fighting or she finally relented and talked. She wasn't going to go into detail with her mood on cloud nine, so she shrugged. "It's done and over with. I'd like to use that as a learning experience and go on record and say this...Inaki is raising my opinion of men."

Sam dropped her keys as she opened the door again. Blue stared at her exit before finally snapping to and picking her jaw off the floor. "No way..." Sam muttered, ash swishing in disbelief. "She COULDN'T have told him...but what else could she've done for him to make her this happy? A kiss on the forehead isn't going to do it with someone as tossed around as she's been... Him remaining her friend is the only reason."

"Sam! Shut the door and hurry up!"

"You owe me DETAILS!" Sam retorted, swiping her keys off the carpet. Whatever it was...Sam's opinion of Inaki rose from the last conversation they had. She was glad she didn't have to be mean and hate him for what he did to Kalie in the past weeks.

Now she could get back to getting those two together.

That kiss was something she could read better than K, having been on more than enough dates and given the experience to male emotions. They were all alike, so ethnicity didn't count. That was more than just a reassuring, friendly kiss...that held feeling behind it.

A wicked grin appeared as Sam locked the door. She would HAVE to start her matchmaking plans again...

...Inaki would need all the help he could GET!

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: ** Kisama-ra...boku wa zettai yuresanai-I definitely won't forgive them **(Kisama is vulgar 'you', -ra makes it plural)**

Aa-Like hai in agreement** (For males only, female is Ee) **Shinseki-Parents


	32. Ch 32

How was it possible to feel this happy?

She often pondered that simple question, but never managed to get an answer. Usually she would go back through that night and try to find a reason for being this way...but the next morning usually made her grin and sometimes start a fit of giggling.

Never had she laughed just because she could.

It was mildly embarrassing to get caught like that, because not only would people think her a nutball, but she often zoned out in class if it got too boring.

There was no way to describe how content she was, even though the emotion was so potent. She had been this happy before, but that was in a relationship. This held no implications of anything.

She feared a few times she scared some she knew around campus by being so easily chipper. They'd never seen her like this or so easy to laugh. But their mood improved more because of hers. She was a little merry ray of sunshine, but no one could understand the cause of it except for three the people involved. Whenever asked why she was in such a good mood, a beaming smile would light her face and sometimes she would giggle for the utter strange behavior she couldn't shake.

She never explained to anyone her reasons. She always waved them off, saying she was just in one of those rare moods and didn't go into detail. Even though she finally broke down and told someone a good portion of her life, she didn't intend on spreading that to the world.

How was it possible to feel this happy?

Two weeks. Was it humanely plausible to be this way after two straight weeks??

It was hard to write letters, as she tried to find something to say that would put them back on track. She felt she already told him everything and there was no longer that burning need to tell him something else about herself. Try as he might deny it, she WAS a boring person. But she did manage to get a letter out, short as it was. She ended up rewriting half from the original...having put inserts from that day down. She didn't want to do that...she wanted it done and over with.

It didn't take long for him to respond back, though his was as uneventful as hers. She didn't mind though...getting that letter acted as part of the catalyst to keep her mood going. Just knowing he didn't go back on his word was enough to cement the fact that he WAS staying around. He wasn't going to cut off contact with her.

There were times during her less happy moments when she wondered how much bigger of an idiot she could get. What would've happened if she kept pushing him away, over something as silly as her past? Would he be gone now...regardless if she told him or not?

She stretched in the desk chair and idly tapped a pencil on the top.

As silly as her past...ha! THAT was putting it lightly.

Yet, it didn't seem to bother her that much...and it was not only much easier to get past, but she didn't think of it that much anymore. There were no more thoughts of Arthur or Brad - at least more than normal, and her father truly was a thing of the past.

She had to shake her head at the rage she displayed when talking about him. Sure that still lurked around somewhere in the depths of her soul - as something like that would never die - but now she couldn't get a grip on it. Not like she WANTED to...but it just didn't seem possible for her to get that enraged anymore.

By saying so little, Inaki gave her so much. He would never know how much he meant to her by not leaving as everyone else had in the past. Even sitting through that night and listening to her talk didn't do the contentment justice. She would never be able to explain that depth to her satisfaction. So she would just have to hope that her actions would tell for her.

She sighed and almost disdainfully stared at the books open and closed in sections on her desk. She did NOT want to do homework right now!

That was one of the few times in her life would she ever say that.

It wasn't that she wouldn't, it was she COULDN'T. These thoughts were not going to go away until she found a better way to express them. She wanted to tell Inaki how happy he made her; though she had a small inclination he already knew that by their parting in front of the car. She hadn't smiled like that, or felt like that, in a long time. The reassurance she got by his casual words brought tears to her eyes. That was one of the few times she knew she could stop worrying about something pertaining to her life and just let it be...knowing it would be alright.

She marked her spot in the book with a notebook, resolved to come back to it later. It was only mid afternoon and she had plenty of time to get studying done. She had better, because tomorrow was movie time and she never did studying then. That was resolved for just her and Sam.

Instead of getting up, she shoved all the books to one corner of the desk and grabbed a notebook. Flipping to an empty page and clicking for more lead, she hunched forward...that light feeling coming back.

_Inaki,_

_Yes I'm writing again. Boo. If that didn't scare you, I think another letter before your next one will._

_I was just doing a little thinking, as I seem to do a lot anymore, and thought I'd write you. More to the point, I'm procrastinating homework. Okay now that I've thoroughly shocked you and probably given you a heart attack... What I wouldn't give for a camera to see your face when you read that!_

_I have been unable to stop thinking since you left for home. It wouldn't be so bad except I keep thinking about the same thing every time. It's going to get monotonous soon. It isn't really a bad thing - quite the contrary really. I have never been in a better mood than I have these past few weeks. I find it the most ironic quirk of life that thinking about when you left makes me smile and sometimes laugh._

_I'm afraid people are going to think I'm nuts. Especially during class when I get into the fit of giggling. It's a little hard to explain THAT one, and I've gotten a few people who have asked me if I'm okay...which would be a little embarrassing if I wasn't in such high spirits every time I was asked that._

_I find it funny I guess. I can be such a dork, can't I? I often wonder who is the more rational or smarter between the two of us. My having college experience certainly doesn't qualify here._

_I had no real intention of saying something happened in my life. I wanted to write you for the sole purpose of writing you...and I also wanted to try to explain something I was feeling, but I don't know if that's possible. It's almost embarrassing to even put down on words what happened to me after you left. Though I won't have to see your reaction...it's not clamming up and I'm not used to that. I'm trying not to because you asked and I don't want to jeopardize anything right now._

_I'm pretty sure you can tell that I'm happy as I write this. I've been using that word a lot and I'm going to make a recording so I can stop mentioning it to people and save my voice. I'm pretty sure you have a general idea that your decision is a lot of the cause for my attitude. I know you know that, but I just can't seem to stress it enough._

_You know this is the first time I will start laughing for no reason at all? I have never really had that happen...not even with all my time with Sam._

_I'm not saying this to give you a big head...I just feel the need to get this out and make you understand. Also to say this without being clingy. You are the first person I have said anything in such depth to and you didn't leave. That right there is enough to make me jump for joy. I just feel you don't understand that enough and I have to write you to make sure you know how much you did by doing so little._

_I have never been more delighted to have you as my friend. I didn't really have doubts in the beginning, but I didn't know how well we would be able to become friends by only sending letters to each other. I'm sure though, if you went back and looked if you kept any of my letters, that you would definitely see a change._

_But one thing is for sure...I have not stopped rambling. Gah...I thought I told you to kick me of that habit! Kidding._

_I hope you're doing okay up there and I'll be awaiting your next letter. It's still early and I suppose I should get my butt back to the books before tomorrow rolls around. The last thing I want is to fall behind...and have Sam whine at me because I'm studying when I should be watching movies._

_Later,_

_K_

_January 24, 2098_

She felt a lot better having put a little of that onto paper. There was the feeling of getting something out of your system and she decided to send the letter instead of tearing it up. If it felt this good to write it down...it would do no harm in letting Inaki have this and let him feel the same way. And for good measure so she didn't chicken out, she quickly sealed and stamped the envelope before being able to crumple the paper and save a stamp and envelope.

Green stared at the paper, eyes spearing his address. It seemed like she couldn't stop thinking about him...but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. If he made her this happy by just being her friend, why should she stop? Forcing herself to not think of him would only sadden her when she was quite the opposite.

Teeth bit her lip as she snuck a peek to the stack that awaited her. Not all if it had to be done of course, but she did have another ten pages to read and notes to take. Not exactly HARD...but she wasn't into reading about the history of the Roman empire right now.

There was no thought in what to do next. She wrote Inaki a letter...certainly etiquette and thought demanded it get mailed before too much time went by... No time like the present. With a smile - either from getting out of homework or Inaki's influence - she went to grab an extra sweater and slipped it on. It was still cold for January, but a little warmer than last week.

Spring would arrive soon.

Without telling where she was going, she headed downstairs and grabbed keys from the front table. In mere minutes she was out on the street and leaned back on the bike, trusting her riding capabilities enough to let her hands off the bars.

The afternoon was so beautiful. Time was going so fast anymore it seemed. She knew why that was, and couldn't help to smile again. She was going to end up with wrinkles by the time she actually calmed down!

The thought gained a quiet giggle. Such a mundane reason...she would gladly take the stupid wrinkles if this was the reason they appeared. Hands went back to the bars as she took a corner. Today was a good day and she wondered if his had been the same as hers.

Brown swished. There she went again! Thinking of him in even the smallest of incidents. Green squinted against the sun. But it wasn't all that bad. Forgetting someone like Inaki would only drive her back to where she was and right now she was farther from that person than she ever thought imaginable.

'I wonder what he's doing right now...how he's doing.'

~*~*~

"Here let me get that for you nee-chan."

Brown blinked. "O-okay..."

He smiled and pulled the pan off the stove, gently setting it on the awaiting cooling plates. He gave a congenial look to the elders already seated for dinner and went to put the potholders to use again.

Jayden watched as he all but paraded in glee and her eyes narrowed. Her slim body leaned against the counter as Inaki grabbed another heavy pan and carted it the few feet to the table. On his way back, a hand snaked out and grabbed his arm to stop him, her other going underneath shaggy bangs to his forehead.

"Are?? Nee-chan...nani -"

"You don't FEEL warm..."

He snorted and waved Jayden's hands off. "Oi...is it too hard to believe that I'm HAPPY for once??"

Brown met brown and didn't bat an eye. "Yes."

A playful scowl crossed his face, but his mood swept it away. "Baka." He jovially retorted, crossing around her for the counter. Jayden dumbly blinked. It took a second for her brain to process the retort wasn't actually a retort. An eye closed in confusion. "If you don't move, you're going to get mowed down nee-chan."

Jayden jumped out of the way of the stove and watched Inaki bring the ceramic cup holding eating chopsticks and set it on the table. Hands gripped her hair. "Just WHAT is the deal with you??" She burst out. "You're NEVER this chipper! Not without sarcasm added into the mix and even THEN it's more sarcasm than happiness!"

"Magomusume...don't just stand there, help Inaki."

Snapping to with Mamorah's voice, Jayden turned to wash her hands. "Hai obaasan."

Inaki didn't bother with words, knowing his mood said enough for him, and playfully jutted his hip against Jayden's to make room at the sink to also wash his hands.

"Oi!"

"You're in my way." He explained, still smiling.

Black swished. "You're up to something big, I just know it. What are you and the musketeers planning this time? If it has to deal with me you're going to regret it."

He smirked. "You're safe for now nee-chan...shinpai shimasen."

Jayden's eyes narrowed in thought. She shook the excess water off as he did and they both went for the bowl of salt water. "Then what's up with you? I don't know anything recently good that happened to you...not that you haven't blabbed yet." A sudden thought dawned and shock registered. "You didn't..." Manicured eyebrows wiggled suggestively. "DID you??" Jayden hissed.

Brown widened to painful sizes as his vision whipped behind them to three sets of parents sitting patiently at the table...curious gazes turned to their conversation. Sex was not something he openly talked about with his family, even if it was an accepted subject with them. For that reason, he promptly blushed and fought to dump the salt concoction over Jayden's head. "I - IIE!!" He stuttered, glaring. It was the first time today his mood was altered. "B-B-BAKA! Stop thinking that way! Mou...hentai..." He muttered, pointedly looking into the cooling pan.

Jayden's face flamed a little and she elbowed him in the side. "Atashi?? You should look at YOURSELF first ototo!"

"Whatever..."

Silence finally descended as the two diligently worked, piling up onigiri on a large platter.

It took all of ten seconds for the smile to make its way back to his face. He had never known such a simple happiness before. Not only was he driving Jayden up the wall with wonder and concern, but the days seemed better.

Of course...K's second letter seemed have that effect for him.

_I just feel you don't understand that enough and I have to write you to make sure you know how much you did by doing so little._

He got that letter today and the wonder at another so soon prompted its immediate opening.

If he made her happy by just being there, then she made HIM happy by making HER happy...simple as that. He didn't think he could be more pleased than that day he left for home and faced the concern of his obaasan and okaasan.

He was happy to make her happy. She had so little of it in her life and now that he knew, he wanted to do everything in his power to make up for all she lacked. He wanted to make an effort to be around her more...damned be the distance.

_I have never been more delighted to have you as my friend._

He almost sighed as he dipped palms in the solution again to coat them. That sentence made him feel so two-faced.

On one hand, he was glad to have recognition in that way from her. Knowing they were more solid than before - especially after everything that happened - was good to know.

But on the OTHER hand...after his self-discovery that took over a month to realize...it made him want to hit something. Someone finally grasped what was going on and told him...then five weeks later he accepted it on his own. Now that he understood reasons for everything that happened and managed to come to terms with his emotions, he was now seen as just a friend.

It never failed.

'Damn it!'

Unmei-sama had the worse sense of humor...that or Unsei-sama was taking a break up there and letting him take crap right now. He gave in and sighed, ignoring Jayden's odd look as he washed the extra rice and salt off his hands.

He left the water running as Jayden turned for it as well and dried his hands before grabbing the plate. His mood dimmed a little and warped as he sat on his zabuton and waited for the last Yamoi to be seated. Seconds later, everyone bowed and with a quick 'itadakimasu' started ladling their plates. He was silent throughout dinner, mood shifting to thought.

He reasoned a lot of his wanting to make K happy would have to deal with these new emotions. That and the fact that loneliness was start to creep on him was a dangerous combination. He just gained a lot of K's trust and they were getting back on track from that episode...she didn't need to be smothered just because he wanted attention.

And wanted to give attention BACK.

He quickly stuffed some nigiri in his mouth to hide a grimace. Both he and K didn't need that kind of issue at this time...not until things smoothed over and time passed. But time was a very potent weapon and it was amazing he managed to beat it THIS long. Three some months - if he calculated right - since he broke up with Cameron. Yet he hadn't found anyone else or bothered looking.

A brow ticked in annoyance as he shoved the remaining ball in his mouth. He was so easy to read...it was pathetic. He knew had he hung out with the guys more, they would've seen through him that much sooner because he lacked someone by his side and hadn't commented on it.

Brown stared at his plate as hands rested in his lap, mindful not to get his clothes dirty.

He hadn't found anyone because he reasoned he had everything going on with K and didn't need to deal with anything else. The newness of the friendship helped divert his attention, but now his mind was splintering. It was no longer satisfied with that. It wanted something else, but he intended on fighting that with every breath he possessed.

K was worried she'd scare him away if she told about herself, but it hadn't occurred. But he wasn't so sure that he wouldn't scare HER away if he told her the thoughts running through his head right now. After hearing her past and how cruelly she was treated by men of any type, he almost felt guilty for acting this way.

It sprung up mostly the night she told him. Hearing how badly she was tossed around made him want to take her in his arms and protect her from all the bad memories so she would never have to remember that again. But he forced himself from moving so she could talk, even though he fought that battle many times. His jaw clenched as he forced hands to move so no one would ask questions.

The rage she held over her father... Granted she had a lot of reason for what happened before she really reached the age of reason...but she still held onto that. If she truly wished to forget her father - which he couldn't understand - her best way would be to let go of that.

Chopsticks pushed around marinated beef on his plate before he finally shoved a piece in his mouth. He would not waste perfectly good food - he would catch hell later with the women.

He didn't know what to do now...not really. He knew keeping this a secret was key to keep their friendship going and make it even stronger than it was now. But why should he ignore something like this? Brown slid closed. He was torn. He would not injure her more than he had, but he would die inside if he left this to fester. Time would allow them to become closer as friends and it would be safe to confess what would probably be a raging inferno - if he didn't date someone else by then. But if it took half a year for K to confide in him...how long would it take for her to not shy away from his emotions?

He didn't want to test it because he already knew of - or could easily deduce - her opinion on dating. She probably didn't like guys very much for screwing up her life, and studied to escape the world.

Not exactly jumping to go out and have fun.

He had to come to terms with this...even if he was all but swearing it to be a temporary thing. If he didn't, this was going to drive him crazy worse than wondering about K's past. It probably WOULD be worse, because the answers were right in front of him, but it was up to him mostly to decide what to do. 'Oh gods...this is going to KILL me!'

He wanted to push his dishes over and slam his head on the table, but knew that'd get a few raised eyebrows - at least - for that move.

"Himagomusuko...is there something on your mind?"

Brown shot up and to the second honorary seat of the table.

"Eh? Nani... Why do you say that hibososan?" He resisted the urge to fidget.

Mira pinned aged brown eyes on her great grandson over her tea. "Because you've been staring at your plate the past few minutes and haven't said a word or ate much." The woman took a second to sip her tea and let the observation set in. "Care to tell us what's on your mind? You'll feel better..."

He mentally grimaced as everyone gave him their attention. Oh gods... What he wouldn't give to crawl in the foot room under the table and hide!

Okay so he was obvious in showing he was thinking heavily on something! That didn't mean he wanted to give away massive speculation when he hadn't even reached a decision yet! But he never denied the opportunity to talk about something and vent or get it off his chest. That was going to be hard, as none of the family ever met or truly heard of K yet...

He sighed and shoved more food around with his chopsticks. "Ano..." His eyes fixated on the small circle he made in the sauce, trying not to feel embarrassed. After all, this was his family here!

A hand reached into his vision and he jumped as his utensils were gently taken away and set on the chopstick rests next to his plate. "Don't play with your food ototo-chan."

A brow ticked in annoyance at being talked to like a little kid from someone mere two years older than him. "I was not playing with it...I was thinking!" He grumbled, snatching his teacup.

"Musuko...I don't think I've seen you this worked up before...is something really the matter?"

Brown softened at the worry in his mother's voice and a hand sheepishly scratched his head. "Iie okaasan. I was just thinking about someone I know... It's been a few weeks since I hung out with her and I was wondering how she was doing is all." It wasn't a full lie - as he hated lying to his family on stupid stuff like this - but it wasn't the full story either.

Being privy to way more information than the rest of the family, Jayden's eyes sparked recognition the quickest. "Is it about that girl you write to?"

He nodded, mentally noting the fact that he hadn't even mentioned K's NAME around the house. "Aa." There was a pause as a few went for their tea, others taking time to eat.

He felt he should say something more, but there was nothing he could say without giving it all away. He didn't want to say he liked a girl he never introduced to the family. What would they think about THAT one? A hand went for his chopsticks and idly picked up and dropped a few pieces on his plate. "You...you don't know her. I - I haven't introduced her yet... She lives down south in Miami after all."

It was unsure whether his family would take offense to him not introducing a friend, or if they thought he didn't trust them enough to bring a friend into the house to get to know the family. Would they hate him because of that? The bond was strong and his family knew all of his friends and treated them as an extended part of the household. For him to know someone kept almost totally in secret on PURPOSE - even though a long ways away - was inexcusable.

"Setsubun is coming up soon, is it not?" Mira casually announced. Startled eyes looked up, feeling off-settled at the wisest of the family acting casual about the whole thing. One who held tradition as important as his hisofusan. Mirthful brown met brown as Mira gave a wink. "We're having the usual again this year. What day is that on?"

There was a small silence as some thought, a few getting almost conspiratory grins. "That would be on a Tuesday obaasan." Omo answered, brown eyes sneaking a look to his son.

"And we are inviting the neighborhood as always this year. Some of them have offered to come help cook. I think a few are bringing their friends as well...so I think that means we can bring friends if we want."

He sheepishly looked to his plate again, feeling his face warm a little. His family was more understanding than he gave them credit for.

"We're all going to be in traditional dress, but your little friend does not have to." Mira continued, putting hands in her lap. "It would prove interesting if we gave her a furisode so she can blend in with the others."

"I'm not too sure how she'd be able to adjust though." Jayden broke in, smirking. "She'd probably try to walk too far or lean against something."

He felt the need defend K's integrity, even though Jayden was just playing. "Oi...K's not that stupid! I'm pretty sure she'd be able to figure out how to move in those things once she put it on!"

"Sheesh, calm down ototo."

"Besides, I'm not too sure she'll want to go to that. Those last pretty late and she has classes early in the morning."

"It never hurts to ask musuko. You don't have anything to lose, but I for one would like to meet her." Kristine smiled kindly.

He minutely sighed as his lips pursed. It wasn't that hard of a decision - invite her or don't. But he was already looking forward to the idea and didn't want to be let down if she said no. "Nothing I can do but ask I guess..." He muttered, picking up his chopsticks.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Atashi?-Me? Onigiri-Rice balls **(Wai! Nigiri...YUM!!) **Setsubun-Eve of the first day of spring celebrated on Feb 3rd

Unmei-sama and Unsei-sama-Fate and luck **(spoken with -sama makes them deities) **


	33. Ch 33

"Will you stop pacing already? You'll be fine and you're going to make me dizzy." Dull blue eyes watched from their sideways spot on her bed.

"I can't help it! I'm so nervous!! What happens if I spill food on myself?? I'll never be able to pay for the dry-cleaning for the clothes!"

Sam heaved a sigh and slapped hands over her face. "Then you shouldn't have agreed to wear whatever it is they're loaning you!

She paused and slapped the heels of her palms against her temples and pushed, relishing in the temporary pain that diverted her from the racing heartbeat and adrenaline.

She was a nervous wreck. Ever since last week, she was pressed to make a decision. The whole thing sounded like fun actually. As far as Inaki explained, they were going to have the neighborhood over for a grand feast and celebrate the first day of spring for their culture. Though she had classes tomorrow, she couldn't resist. What ELSE was she going to do except sit on her butt and study all night or make dinner for Sam?

It was amazing she got time off for this, but that just showed how flexible Charlie was. As long as she had someone to cover her shift, she was fine.

This was one of the few times since she'd been hired that she took time off for something. It probably surprised Charlie like none other, but that was most likely one of the reasons he let her go...she rarely asked for time off.

She gave a groan at it all and continued pacing, green spying a quick glance to her clock. Twenty minutes more to wait until he arrived... She mentally groaned - loudly. She was going to screw everything up! It was best she NOT wear that dress thingee Inaki was talking about on the phone...she'd just ruin it and then she'd feel worse for messing up something that sounded really pretty.

_"Hello."_

_"Konnichi wa."_

_She smiled. "Hello Inaki. I assume you're calling for my answer?"_

_There was a breath of silence. "You DID remember what I wrote you to you! That's a first!"_

_She giggled. "Oh shut UP!" She retorted, leaning against the counter. "Don't sound so awed about it." He laughed. "Well I put some thought into it and the biggest thing for me to overcome was work. You know how much I need the money to pay back financial aide when I graduate... Plus I wasn't sure if Charlie - that's my boss - would allow me to have time off."_

_More silence. "Does that mean you're not going?"_

_She hated when he sounded so down like that and she didn't know why. Like somebody kicked his puppy or something._

_A hand covered her eyes as she resisted the urge to roll them. "You didn't let me finish." She argued, smiling. "I asked Charlie if I could get time off and after he picked his jaw up off the floor he told me of course I could have time off. So I got Casey to work the rest of my night shift for me and I'm set."_

_"Sugee! Sorry - I mean cool! That's awesome! You'll have a lot of fun, I know it. The holiday isn't celebrated massively, but my family always tends to throw the parties around here. We get people to chip in for food and pickup so it evens out. We're all going to have a big dinner in the backyard and spend time together as a community. Later we do this really cool thing, but I won't tell you what it is cause then it'll spoil the look on your face when you find out."_

_She grinned. "Dork." She giggled._

_He chuckled. "Oh I can't wait for that moment. I can't wait to see the look on your face..." He goaded, smirking._

_She whined. "Not fair! Don't tease me like that!"_

_"Gah! No whining, that's as bad as puppy dog eyes!"_

_For effect, she made the full pathetic look and wobbled her lower lip. "Pllleasseee Inaki?" She simpered. "I'll be your friend."_

_"You already ARE." He retorted, rolling his eyes. "No can do - I don't bribe easily like that. You're just going to have to wait a few days okay?"_

_She heaved a sigh and pouted. "Fine...torture me."_

_"If you insist."_

_She growled and he snickered. "Satan incarnate."_

_"Not yet. Also - with holidays, my family dresses in traditional Japanese wear. Remember that so-called costume I wore for the Halloween party? I've got a trunk full of stuff like that I wear to the holidays. Everyone in the neighborhood has stuff for those days and my hiboso...ah - my great grandmother mentioned allowing you to borrow one so you'll fit right in."_

_Her lips pressed together. Part of her said why not for the fun of it, and the thoughtfulness of his family. If they were allowing her, why not take them up on her offer? That night was going to be so far out of her element, so she could at least blend in and stick out less. "I...SUPPOSE that's fine. What do the clothes look like?"_

_"I can't describe every bit to you because the colors everyone has are all arrayed. We like color in our ethnicity."_

_She smiled. "Then do you know of any that would look okay on me? Not to sound rude or anything..."_

_He hopped onto the counter and leaned against the cupboard. "I know of about three of nee-chan's furisode that would look good on you. One has sakura blossoms on it, another bamboo, and the other has threads weaving patterns."_

_They all sounded lovely and she didn't know really what to pick. The bamboo sounded strange, but she didn't want to discount that. "What're sakura petals?"_

_He grimaced at her American pronunciation. It made his ears bleed, but he shook his head and forced himself to get past it. He was going to have to teach her how to pronounce his language one of these days...perhaps tonight if she tried to respond to anything said in Japanese for fun._

_"Japanese for cherry blossoms. They're rampant in Japan, though I've never seen them in person. I hear they're quite pretty, but I dunno."_

_That sounded interesting. The more he talked, the more excited she grew and wanted to go a little crazy instead of conservative._

_Scary._

_"What about the one with the blossoms? What colors does that have? That sounds nice."_

_He smiled. She sounded rather enthused and it made his heart pick up in anticipation for tonight. "The background is a greenish-gray, and it's kind of dark. But I think you'd like it. The petals are white and pink."_

_She smiled. Teeth bit on a thumb as she tried to imagine it. "I'll borrow that if I can. Your sister won't mind?"_

_He snorted. "Of course not. Nee-chan has PLENTY of clothes to wear. Almost more than I have, but that's cause she's an onna."_

_She blinked and decided not to ask for a translation. "Well anyway...do you want to set up a time for me to go up there or you pick me up?"_

_"I can pick you up. It's the least I can do. Plus you won't know where to go so it'll make it easier on you."_

_She nodded, though he couldn't see it. "Just give me a second to get to some paper and I'll write everything down." She jogged to her room and jotted everything down on a scratch piece in her notebook. "Got it. I'll see you then. The party is going to start that early...or is that a thing with the holiday?"_

_She could only describe the laugh that followed as evil and a brow rose. "The party will start a few hours later than that, but you need to put the furisode on first." A wicked grin crossed his face. "The one thing you'll learn about Japanese is clothing is not zip-up and button. The obi takes at least an hour to tie correctly and in any good shape for the evening."_

_Her jaw clenched, but she resolved not to back out. "I don't know how to put on Japanese clothes." She lamented, shoulders slumping. "I might have to forego that then."_

_"Naw...one of the women won't mind helping you. They can teach you. I can have nee-chan do it if you don't mind when she gets dressed. You have to be pretty patient for it though."_

_"If I get to wear something different, I think I can give it a try."_

_"Smart ass." They laughed. "Yosh...I'll pick you up exactly on time so be sure to be ready. If anything, I'll be early. More time for you to get dressed."_

_"What about YOU?"_

_He snorted. "I don't have it as bad as you do. See ya Tuesday."_

"I'm going to trip and rip the fabric, I just know it!" She groaned, slumping to the floor.

"Will you get up here and sit down before I tie you to your desk chair?!" Sam blurted out, swinging her legs in the direction of the floor. She sat cross-legged and glared at her friend.

"Moving, moving." She muttered, crawling the short space and onto the mattress. Her legs went over the side of the frame and she stared upside-down to her friend. "I hope I don't make a complete idiot out of myself."

Sam sighed, but scooted forward and pulled her friend's head into her lap. "You WORRY too much! I'm sure Inaki won't leave your side for that to happen, or if he does he'll instruct you on what NOT to do. And if he doesn't, tell him to!"

"Mmm hmm..." She mumbled, eyes closing as Sam played with her hair. "Keep doing that - it'll calm me until he gets here."

Sam snorted. "At least SOMETHING will. You'd better learn to calm down on the drive up or you're going to be forced to sit it out until you do. You know every time you get this nervous you run away from the cause."

"Mmm hmm..."

Sam chuckled and shook her head. Light blue softened as they stared at her friend's peaceful face. Silence stretched out and actually became less tense as fingers combed through dark brown. It was nice because it was the first comfortable pause in three days.

And it lasted all of another ten minutes until the doorbell rang.

"AH! That's him! He's here!"

Sam quickly moved out of the way as legs swung in her general direction and almost hit her in the face. "Will you WATCH it?? Cool your jets turbo! You're not going a hop, skip, and a jump away you know!"

"Yea, yea." She called, already at the stairs. Hoping these clothes were good enough to meet the family in until she changed, she ran to the front door and quickly unlocked it. "Hi."

"Hey." An eye narrowed. "Are you out of breath?"

She blushed and looked away sheepishly. "Ah...no. I just came from upstairs."

"Yes she is Inaki, don't listen to her. Her heart's running a marathon right now because she gets to spend the evening with you."

Green widened to saucers and whipped to the stairs. "SAAAMMM!!" She screeched, face flaming. Hands went to her cheeks. "You SHUT UP! You don't even know what you're talking about!" Her face darkened as she went for the coat rack in the corner and snatched one off a hook. "I'm ready." She mumbled, bangs hiding her eyes.

Dark brown looked to Sam and gave a small wave before meeting his passenger. Could she look any more uncomfortable?

Hell no.

He gave a smile and jangled the keys to gain her attention. "Sure about that? Got everything you'll need for the next five or six hours? Cause I'm not stopping to come back by the time we're halfway there."

She gave him a dry look. "It'd only be twenty minutes. But yes I'm SURE I'm ready."

"Good. Shall we?" He pushed the front door back and let her pass.

"Have fun you two! Go wild and crazy...as much as you can!"

Green speared a glare over her shoulder as a hand snatched house keys off the table. "Moron." She muttered under her breath.

He grinned and in no time they were speeding north. It was easy to tell even from the corner of his eye that K was nervous. The fidgeting with her hands and constantly looking everywhere gave her away.

His hands shifted on the wheel enough so he could sneak one over and plop on the top of her ever-movable head. "You're making ME nervous...will you stop that?"

A blush sprouted as her head ducked with a sheepish smile to remove his hand. "Sorry... I'm just worried I'll ruin whatever it is I'm going to wear. Not to mention I'm a little out of my depth."

He chuckled at her sarcasm, but gave a brief pat to silky hair before putting it back in his space. "You'll be fine. Like I'm going to bring you and throw you to the wolves. Don't worry."

Green blinked. "Sorry...I've never been to one of these things."

"It shows." He quipped, moving back when she gave him a light slug in the arm.

"Don't mock me!" She playfully retorted, trying not to smile. "Everyone makes fun of me! I see how it is!" She whined.

He grinned. He resisted the urge to reach a hand over and touch her with the invite to calm her down. Unconsciously, his eyes softened. "Don't worry...I'll stick to you like glue. Yakusoku."

Green blinked and cast a blank look his way. She didn't know what that word meant, but had a clue it dealt with what he talked about so she dropped it and didn't ask for a translation.

With a deep sigh, forcing herself to calm herself, she focused on lowering her heart rate the rest of the trip. She managed to be a little less agitated, and excitement at a new area drew her interest as they edged into the city.

There was a lot of forest and it seemed Inaki was taking the slower route than his normal fast speed driving to get up here. She smiled at his thought and felt like her head was twisting in a tennis match as it turned so much to try and gain as much detail as possible.

There was a distinction between businesses and residential the closer they got from it. She could tell almost instantly as the land noticeably spread out. That and the concrete fences were a dead give away.

"Cool." She muttered, face all but plastered against the window.

He grinned, sneaking more than a few looks since they arrived, and was pleased with her enthusiasm. She loved his city as much as he did – at least deep down. "Nice huh? The land patterns are very similar and the design is taken off of about a century to a century and a half ago to resemble Japan's houses and yards. I'll give you a full tour when we get inside. I have a feeling you'll like it."

She turned and gave a split second grin in anticipation before looking at the neighborhood again. How thoughtful, considering what he said about needing a lot of time to get dressed.

The second he turned off the car after pulling into the driveway, the first thing he wanted to do was laugh at the expression of shock that littered her face. She was leaning against the dashboard to look through the windshield and take in as much of his house as possible, and it was still too funny.

He let loose a small chuckle before going for his seatbelt. "How bout you get out before you give yourself neck strain?"

She jumped when a hand casually patted her on the shoulder and resisted the urge to blush again. She jerked back and quickly undid her belt, almost jumping from the car for a better look. "WOW..."

He grinned and locked the car. "Neat ne? Like I said, this place holds eight people, so it's going to be big."

"This place is HUGE!" She rounded the car and checked out the front yard. The stone marker was pretty close to the garage, but it stretched past the other end – which she wondered about.

There were a few trees that barely reached the tip of the ground floor and of course they would be bare for winter. There were skeletons of bushes lining the end of the opposite side of the house where the windows didn't touch, also lining the concrete fence as far as she could see.

The front porch was pretty small, but it was wide. Stone steps in the ground led from the garage door to the porch. She startled when Inaki made his way across them and hurried to follow.

Green avidly looked at the siding of the house, finding it rather plain. It was just white with dark brown siding and a matching roof. There was your basic screen door with a nice stain-glassed interior she wanted to look at...if Inaki hadn't gripped an arm to tug her inside to keep the cold out.

Green widened to saucers as she took in the ingenuity that made up what she could see so far. She openly gaped and dimly registered heavenly smells coming from ahead.

The place was AWESOME! To her immediate right lay some kind of furniture stand she couldn't name – though she would ask about it later. On her left was a closet - presumably - and directly underfoot was red tile with white trim. She was curious why it was only a few dozen tiles, but would ask on that too.

She turned and looked at what she assumed was a living room. The interesting thing about it was it was sunk in by a few feet and there was an actual metal fence on either side of the steps! There was a single couch and chair with a few jet-black end tables...which made sense by the large, jet-black china hutch – or maybe a curio cabinet? –practically lining the wall opposite the windows.

The best thing about that cabinet – besides the interesting things inside – was the intricate mother of pearl design of what she assumed was Japanese descent.

Her vision swung ahead and blinked at the floor. WHAT the...

She went to take a step, but an arm suddenly presented itself and she cast an odd look to Inaki.

He only smiled and removed it. "Sorry. I should've mentioned before we came in that no shoes are allowed past the genkan."

She blinked and looked to her feet. Was that what the tiles were called? Were they made differently and that was the reason for the odd word? And why was she not allowed to wear her shoes inside? They were clean...

Not wanting to offend on her first trip, and in such an important time of first impressions and a holiday, she did as told and quickly slipped out of them. She stepped onto faded lime green carpet – not really preferring the color – and turned...seeing Inaki lining their shoes up against the wall. Her head tilted. Strange how he never did that at her house.

She shrugged and turned to take in more of the room with such odd flooring. She paused at the edge of carpet and strange flooring, taking a good look to what looked like a kitchen and odd dining room.

A wide coffee table with big couch cushions – at least she THOUGHT they were couch cushions... – primly lined it in their own color. More red and white tile lined the kitchen area.

She smiled and took a step inside...casting a wide-eyed look at the feel she gained through sock. "What kind of...stuff IS this?" She pondered, kneeling to run her fingers over it.

He was having a hard time repressing the amusement at having her in his home. His head shook at such innocent behavior and he strode for the dining room. "It's tatami mat." He answered, walking around her. He made for his zabuton for a better view. "Straw basically."

She thoughtfully hummed and stood to look at the kitchen. A set of glass doors lay right in front of her, but she resisted the urge to look for now.

There weren't too many appliances, but of course she didn't know what to expect. There was a stove right next to an open arch to another room, a sink underneath a window, and the dishwasher right next to it. On the opposite wall was more counter space – what she wouldn't give for all this space when she prepared food – and the fridge. Everything was stainless steel and rather high-tech looking.

Curiosity at the room beyond gained her attention and socked feet padded over tile. There was more of that tatami stuff all over the floor. It was about the size of the kitchen – which looked bigger considering it was wide open – and there was nothing in it. Well...nothing except more of those couch cushions and some low-set tables...

"What do the doors go to?" She called, hearing her voice bounce off the walls. It was strange to have such a big room and nothing to put it in. Were the meager things all they intended on putting in it? "And why do you have part of a couch in here??"

"WHAT?!" He jumped to his feet, wondering why the family would put western furniture in a room they wanted to remain traditional. Striding in found nothing and he gave her a confused look. "There's no couch in here." Brown twisted behind him. "The hinged door leads to the garage, and the sliding shoji lead to the engawa."

Green blinked. "Then why do you have the cushions in here?" She continued. "How many couches did you take them off of?"

He gave a blank look before looking at the zabuton littering the wall and a smile started creeping up. It stopped when it split his face in half, but by then, he couldn't contain the laughter that bubbled up and rose in volume.

The echoing magnified everything and her arms crossed. "I don't see what's so funny." Her face burned, knowing she tactfully blundered multi-culturally.

'Next time I just point and ask what that is.'

It took an act of sheer will to stop laughing, mostly because he knew he was irritating her, but it SO funny! Couch cushions indeed...wait till he told the family that tomorrow! "Sorry...sorry..." He mumbled, putting a hand over his mouth. He was forced to literally bite his tongue. "They're not part of furniture...they're separate cushions specifically for the floor. They're called zabuton." He mused, his insides quaking.

She scowled and let him continue to laugh – as he seemed to have no qualms in doing – and left the room for the backyard area. She was steps away from getting the full view when a hand grasped her arm and halted her.

"Ah, wait." He mused...tugging her to the entry area. "That's for last. No peeking."

"I already saw SOME of it...why can't I get a good look?"

He smiled and dragged her into the lower area. "Cause then it won't be as much fun." He kidded, ignoring her playful growling. "This is kind of like the family room and study rolled into one."

Another of those black cabinets rested right next to the stairs. She gave herself a split second glimpse to appreciate the knickknacks before looking out the window on her right. She blinked and found that the level was actually part basement, as her gaze was practically level with the lawn.

She scanned the area and found four more large cabinets lining the walls across the way. They practically covered the whole two sides, but yet they were full of knickknacks. "How many people in your family collect trinkets??" She questioned, a little shocked at seeing them all.

He made for the L-couch and plopped over the top. "All the women do, plus my great grandfather has a few things from his parents in there." He stretched full out and stared at the ceiling, ears perked to her steps. Brown idly watched as she passed him and checked out the small entertainment system before rounding out of sight.

Her brows rose at the rather nice desks in what looked like an alcove to the massive room. She was jealous - they looked expensive and extensive. They looked cozy where they were with the cabinets behind to look at.

She cast a soft gaze to her host, hesitating at seeing his face peaceful with the look of sleep. She gave in to the urge to look...at least until his eyes popped open and his head tilted back to look her in the eye.

She promptly blushed and whipped to the open door closest, heading in to continue.

He gave a small smile, fingers entwining on his chest. He could feel her watching him, also by the fact that her steps paused. He had a good mental image of where she was from growing up here.

He wondered at the look on her face and pondered it until he heard a door timidly swing open, creaking a little. He sat up in a second, wondering if one of the family was spotted, and found K peering to the dark.

"Basement." He reported, getting her attention. His arms pushed him up and – with no one to give him crap – vaulted his legs over the back of the L-couch. A hand quickly flipped on the top light switch for the stairs and waved a hand ahead. "After you."

She smiled and avid eyes took in the area when it finally appeared. It was rather plain, and it was all concrete. Two of those mats set in the corner with a cushion on it. Something blue was folded against the wall, weapons hanging on a rack on the opposite side. A quick peek through the gap in the dividing wall found general electric equipment.

She headed back to the main area and stared at the weapons. She knew what a few were by movies, but not much else. "And this place is..."

"My indoor practice area." He answered. Wanting to show off, he stopped close behind her and grabbed a dull Sai from its stand. He stepped back and started twisting it with a finger. "I normally do Kempo a few times a week and I use this when it's cold. I have my own practice dojo outside for the nice days."

"Spoiled." She cracked, grinning.

The Sai slipped and clacked on the concrete. He grimaced and swiped it off the floor, giving a good-natured glare. "I am NOT! The family may be well off, but I don't get ANY special treatment around here. If you want confirmation, just ask nee-chan."

Before she could ask for a translation, he leaned close again and stuck the weapon back. It was only a split-second occurrence, but her heart seemed to skip a beat and the breath froze in her throat. She blinked when he took a few steps to the stairs, wondering if she imagined that. Confused eyes stared at nothing as a hand hovered over her heart.

What was that? Was she the only one that felt it?

"You coming?"

She jumped to and hurried after, fighting a blush. She was doing that too often around this man!

"Where to next?" She asked, backing away so he could shut the door.

"Upper level – you can see the rest and THEN I'll take you to the backyard." A hand waved for her to follow.

There was more of that ugly green carpeting, but from what she could see through open doors, there was also straw matting too. He started ahead and she followed, trying to take as much in as possible.

"On your immediate left is my great grandparents' bedroom. The first door up on your right is the bathroom and that's basically the same as the downstairs. The door after my great grandparents' is my grandparents'. The one after the bathroom is my parents'...and the final one is mine and nee-chan's."

"What is nee-chan?" She asked, peering over his shoulder when he stopped in the doorway.

He wouldn't have stopped, had he not cringed again at her vowel pronunciation. Hadn't he just pronounced it clearly so she wouldn't have problems with it? He was DEFINITELY going to have to teach her before the party!

"It's nee-chan." He clarified, heading in. "And it means my older sister. Her bed is the green spread, mine is the maroon." He went for the futon and flopped down on it, resting a foot on the trunk. "And this big clunker here," His foot tapped over wood, "is where the clothes I'll be wearing tonight are stored. They're all there, same as Jayden's. The trunks were a gift for that purpose, and the rest is in the closet."

She gave a dry look when his toes pointed behind her, but resisted the urge to smile. His laziness was endearing. Mentally shaking herself, she headed to the closed door and flipped on the switch next to it.

Green widened to saucers when she spied their 'closet'. 'Closet my ass! This thing is a whole other ROOM!' She stepped in and looked at the clothes lining both walls. 'This thing is wider than our storage closet and about as long!'

"You SUCK!" She whined, pouting. "You're a guy, what do you need all this room for??"

He grinned and momentarily pulled his head from the cushion of his arms and looked in her vicinity. "The right half is mine, the left is nee-chan's. Don't think I use ALL of that." He mused, going back to staring at the ceiling.

After a minute of pouting and gawking, she tsked and stepped out, returning the setting as it was. "Lucky. What I wouldn't give for closet space like that."

"Hey, I don't have an underwear drawer, so we're even."

She fidgeted and forced yet another blush down, wondering when she was going to stop that. She stopped in between their beds and leaned against the green spread, staring in his direction. "Yea...but you can still pack it away." She muttered.

There was a silence and she wanted to fidget or say something to break it, but he seemed perfectly content to let the silence hang. She resisted the urge to sigh and looked out the window over the nightstand.

Green blinked and she sat on Jayden's bed for a better view. They weren't that high off the ground, but there was the neighbors' houses and she remembered Inaki saying they were pretty similar to each other.

Serene brown finally looked over after a while, blinking at finding an almost matching look on his friend's. His gaze softened further at finding how well she adapted in such a short amount of time. That was good...because she had a lot more to do before the night was out.

But he was happy to know she didn't feel she couldn't fit in because of nationality issues. He didn't think about anything like that during his tour of their house, but it was kind of hard with Sam's background making it already multi-cultural. Her comfort was important to him, not only as a friend, but he didn't want to make her uncomfortable in the slightest – at least not anymore.

His eyes turned thoughtful as they went back to the ceiling. He still hadn't reached a conclusion; though one would think he had by the few times he liberally touched her today in such a short amount of time. He didn't think that was anything big, but it wasn't like he made a habit of it in the past.

The emotions were taking advantage of being near K again. Thinking about it and seeing her were totally different things and he hadn't really considered that until he picked her up. It seemed like flirting with her was easier to do, and his incentive to keep doing it were those cute blushes she was always doing.

He quickly sat up before he could dwell on that with the topic of his thoughts feet away. "I think you've had enough time to look around. How bout I let you check out the backyard?" He muttered, sliding off the futon.

Brown swished as her head turned and found a hand in her face. She blinked at it, wondering why he felt the need to help her off the futon. It wasn't entirely on the floor, as some kind of wood frame elevated it by about a foot. It was still nice of him and a hand extended to let him be a gentleman.

His heart increased tempo at the feel of her skin, even her hand. His adrenaline let him yank harder than he intended and he accidentally off-balanced her and almost knocked them backward to his futon. He saved them by steadying her and sticking a foot against the bed frame for stability.

Her breath halted at the feel of strong hands over her arms and felt one of the worst blushes she ever felt surface. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears and she tried to avoid looking at him. It lasted all of a few seconds.

There was a mixture of emotions on his face, shock one of the most prevalent. Guilt rested in his eyes, probably from nearly making her fall. And hidden in the depths...was that...no it couldn't be. She quickly cleared her throat and straightened, tugging at her shirt as if it was jostled in the past few minutes. "So why don't you show me this mysterious backyard that you won't let me look at."

He startled to attention and nodded, silently leading her back to the dining room area. A hand slid the door open and stepped onto the engawa, not caring that he hadn't grabbed anything for his socks.

His heart was still beating too fast, and it was a miracle he hadn't acted on some of the thoughts that pricked awareness in his mind. That would screw everything up if he did that, but he couldn't seem to get them from coming. He had to find Jayden and get her to dress K so he could use the solo time to calm down and shove it to the backburner again.

"Oi, musuko." His shoulder-length braid slapped him in the face when it whipped to the voice. He nodded to his otousan when the man stopped at the bottom of the engawa. "Kono hito wa..."

He jumped to attention and stepped closer to K. "Ah, gomen otousan. Otousan, kore wa Himmen Kalie-san, K this is Yamoi Omo."

"Last name first, first name last huh?" She teased, sending a tentative smile to the first relative. She didn't know how much respect they'd ask from a younger person, but now was the right time to draw the boundaries.

Both smiled, but Inaki chuckled. "Yup. Just call him Yamoi-san, Omo-san if you want to get him specifically."

Omo's head bowed. "Pleasure to meet you Himmen-san."

There was a LOT she was going to ask Inaki before the party, and this was one of the many things. "The pleasure is mine, Yamoi-san." Both openly cringed at her pronunciation and embarrassment reared its ugly head.

A hand touched her shoulder. "I'll help you out with a few things to get you more in tune." He placated, giving a pat. Brown swung to his father. "Where's nee-chan and okaasan at? I was going to ask if one of them would help get her dressed." A thumb jerked to her.

"Musume is in the shed, helping hahaue get the lanterns out. And Kristine-kun should be back from the store soon. She was getting a few things needed for final cooking."

"Then I'll have to take nee-chan off obaasan's hands." He cracked. "She'll have to get dressed a little early."

Omo gave a put out look. "You're going to make me help them more than I already have, aren't you?"

He cracked a grin. "Okyakusan o boku arimasu."

She was left utterly stumped as Omo walked to a small building and stepping inside. She assumed that was the shed, as a rather familiar-looking person stepped out. Green blinked and looked to Inaki, then back at the female. This was Jayden Yamoi?? They looked a LOT alike!

The two locked eyes and Inaki's female counterpart bowed. "Konnichi wa. I assume you are K-san."

She startled and nodded in what she hoped was a bow. "Hello. You are Jayden I assume."

Jayden smiled and stopped in front of the girl. Brown looked into green almost thoughtfully before casting Inaki a look. She could see his unease – wondering what kind of remark she might make – and smiled. "Ototo-chan tells me you want to wear my sakura furisode. I think it would look nice on you."

She looked away with a sheepish grin. She hoped this anxiety would fade after she met the family and was here for a few hours. "I feel a little unsure wearing it. I don't want to ruin it. It sounds really nice."

A slim hand patted her shoulder before it wrapped around her arm and tugged toward the doors. "I'll be the one to take responsibility, not you. After all, I let you wear it. Come now, you haven't even seen what it looks like yet."

Green cast a final look to Inaki, who gave her a smile and nod. "I'll see how you look later. I'll help the others set up for a bit."

With nothing left she could do, she awkwardly followed back to their room and watched as Jayden pulled out folded cloth. What she could see held very beautiful patterns for those that were decorated. Some were so intricate, even in the glimpse she caught, that she was second-guessing what she was going to wear. Not because of how she'd look, but she was afraid to walk outside and get the bottom dirty.

"Here we are."

She startled from her thoughts and blinked when presented with the back of fabric. Her face laxed at the general design she saw in history books and a few movies. But the pattern took her attention and she forgot to breathe.

It was like someone drew a hanging plant against a green screen! The green looked eerily similar to her eyes, but it blended well with the flowers. With Jayden holding the dress by the near floor-length sleeves, she could see a good portion of the design that way. There were two main strands of flowers falling down the back from the top near the neckline. There were a few smaller strands on the sleeves as well.

Jayden turned the dress and let her see the front, which also had small strands running next to the center hems. More ran down the front of the sleeves.

It was...it was – "It's...god...it's BEAUTIFUL." She breathed, a hand extending to touch it. Fingers ran over the petals and felt silk thread combine with silk stitching. "I get to wear THIS??"

Jayden smiled and lowered the furisode, eyes softening as they looked at the girl. "You're endearing K-san." The furisode was carefully set on the futon to keep from wrinkling it as Jayden went for a juban. "Yes you may wear that. But first you must put on this to keep the furisode from getting dirty – or as dirty as possible. Then you may put that on."

She blinked, but took the plain white robe. The sleeves reminded her of the bathrobe she had at home. "Why do I wear both? Is it a culture thing?"

"It's a cleanliness issue." Jayden corrected, smirking. She pulled another furisode from the chest and a juban for herself. "Silk is not easy to clean and if we put something as a cover between it and our bodies, it will remain cleaner a little longer...providing more wear before washing." Jayden stood and looked to the girl. "I will dress you because you don't know how, but you are not required to wear any of your modern clothes except your underwear. Bras are not necessary with these."

She blinked and felt her face heat. That didn't sound so bad, save for the implications of what she would have to go through. "Are you sure? I'd feel a little silly..."

A hand patted her shoulder. "Daijoubu K-san. We are both women, ne? None of the men will enter without knocking, so you are safe. I will not judge you."

She felt a little better for some strange reason and finally conceded to what Jayden needed. She felt like a doll as the inner robe was fixed and tied. Her arms were moved up and down at times, and she felt like she was trying to flap away in the baggy sleeves.

Jayden took a few minutes to put on the same robe, which definitely took the skilled woman less time, and let her examine herself in a nearby mirror. It was a quick second, but she looked so different she almost didn't recognize herself.

"Yosh. Now the next step."

She was made into a doll again as Jayden repeated a lot of the same steps. She was confused at the extra fabric that was folded over her lap, having never noticed that before. She guessed it was supposed to be that way, even if she thought a kimono was meant to be totally straight.

A relatively wide strip of striped cloth went over her middle and after it was tied, she figured she was finished. "Isn't...isn't that going to clash with the colors of this thing?" She tentatively queried, not wanting to seem ungrateful...but the pastel yellow, pink, blue, and green did not match!

Jayden was silent for a minute as she circled around to make sure there were no wrinkles anywhere so far. Pleased with the job, though not done, she went for the trunk. "Daijoubu K-san. No one will see that because there is still more for you to put on. You must put an obi and a few accessories on before you are ready." A wide and rather lengthy strip of thick cloth was draped over a shoulder and green looked to it. "Plus I have some extra things you have to wear for the outfit to work, and will also make you look even better in that."

Teeth bit her lip at the praise, a little uncomfortable at accepting it.

The final process Jayden mentioned was confusing and intricate. Her hands were needed to hold in spots and she was glad to oblige, feeling bad for putting the woman through all this. As Jayden was tying some silk cloth and stuffing it through the top of the obi, something struck her.

'Inaki wasn't kidding about this taking a while!'

Jayden suddenly stepped back and grinned. "Owarimashita!" Hands clasped together. "Kawaii!! You look so pretty K-san! Hora, hora!"

Unable to pick her mind up in that whirlwind, hands twisted her shoulders to the mirror and her eyes widened. What little she understood she had to agree to. She WAS pretty! She looked so exotic in this and it seemed to suit her rather well.

A beaming smile appeared as she twisted – hoping she didn't wrinkle or shift anything – and checked out the bump on her back. There was a very simple knot that looked like a box right over her lower back. She looked like some of the women in her history books.

A hand went through her head and her eyes instinctively closed at the feel, but she cast a confused look through the mirror to the woman behind her. "Wha –"

"I told you I had more things for you to wear that will go with the outfit. I have a kanzashi that will go with the sakura on the furisode."

Before being able to get a translation, a very pretty hair clip of silk pink and white flowers, a small string of pink and white beads, and pink down feathers was presented. She smiled and touched the fuzz. "Very pretty." Jayden ran a brush through her head and chunks of hair over her ears were pulled back and twisted to the crown of her head. She smiled when Jayden handed over a small mirror to let her see. "I think this is the most dressed up I've ever been since my birthday." She kidded. "Of any outfit."

"It's fun to dress up, but with outfits like these that take a while, time outweighs that sometimes." Jayden agreed, taking the mirror. She tossed it on the futon and grabbed a pair of white tabi. She handed them over with a simple instruction of how to put them on and grabbed a pair of short-blocked geta. She handed them over. "If you've worn flip-flops, you can wear these. The only thing is they're a lot heavier – as they are made from wood – but the silk thong is still comfortable."

"It explains the socks anyway." She kidded, wriggling her toes. She turned the bottoms up to stare at two blocks spread evenly over the sandal. She was glad they were very short, as she was going to have a problem with walking in them, not to mention trying not to walk normally with so little room.

The second the edges of her toes touched the chord, teeth bit her lip. "I think I have two lefts." She timidly reported, taking them off.

Jayden resisted the urge to giggle. "Iie K-san...geta and zouri are made without right or left standards, unlike American shoes. You are wearing them correctly." She hesitantly slipped them back on and stood, feeling like she was going to slip out of them. She tried a few practice steps as Jayden went for the furisode and slipped her arms through the sleeves. "I would ask for your assistance K-san. It will go a little faster if I don't have keep tying koshihimo."

She was happy to help as payment for being dressed. She hadn't been dressed by someone else since she was a toddler and didn't even know how to tie her shoes!

Jayden's went a little faster - which was a given - and in no time two stood in similar dress. Jayden's outfit was an explosion of beauty, even more than hers. The front and sleeves were patterned with light pink peonies with stems and leaves to give it that garden feel. The background was a few different colors of pink with white added in - it was incredibly beautiful. The bulk on their lower back was the same, as Jayden said they were running out of time and needed to go help.

"You look very pretty." She murmured, smiling.

Jayden bowed with a smile. "Arigatou K-san. I just need to find a matching kanzashi – which I have somewhere in the chest – and I'll be ready."

Her head craned over the woman's shoulder, wondering how much stuff would fit in that thing without it being crammed in. It was pretty deep, with a few shelves lining one side.

She wanted one of those things for her schoolbooks!

A mesh pink flower with pink and white down was pulled out. Jayden twisted that long mane of hers into a bun and tied it. The ornament went just over the top and fingers felt around at her handiwork for corrections. "Yosh...a pair of tabi and geta and we're set." She announced, taking mere seconds to finish up. An arm pulled her into the mirror and she stood at Jayden's side. "We fit these very well...ne, K-san?"

She smiled and looked away. "Thank you for lending this to me. I swear I'll take the best care of it."

Jayden's arm wrapped around her shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. "I have faith in you K-san. I know you won't disappoint me."

That just reared her already wariness a step higher. With so much on the line over such a piece of art and first meeting, she did NOT want to step outside in this! But she was curious about the party and didn't spend so much time to sit inside all night. Her anticipation about this was growing by the second.

"Alright then...let's go show you off to the public. Koishii should be here soon and I can introduce you to him also."

"Who's that?" She asked, slowly trodding to the door.

"His name is Chad. I've been dating him for three and a half years now." Green widened as Jayden opened the door. Quite a record! "Ah, I almost forgot. No shoes allowed inside. I lost my head in my excitement." Jayden turned with an apologetic smile. "You will be able to set them by the door and slip into them when you go outside. Don't worry about not knowing which are yours. Everyone has separate geta or zouri and they are not moved."

She nodded and watched how Jayden kneeled and copied, finding it a definite challenge. She tried not to muss anything and felt around to double-check. Shoes in hand, they exited into the hall. "Is Inaki going to be dressed by now?"

"He should be." Jayden answered. "He grabbed clothes from his chest before picking you up. If he's not dressed by now with it being so close to the party, okaasan or obaasan will get him to do so."

She nodded and paused at the top of the steps. Steps...in something with very little room to move in. She was just thankful there was a handrail!

She wondered what Inaki would be dressed in this time. Of course he would most likely be in the same style he was in for the Halloween party, but she was hoping he had different designs like Jayden.

Multiple footsteps sounded downstairs and a hum of voices. Smells floated up and made her mouth water, even if none of it smelled familiar. She was truly out of her element – whatever that could be – and was jumping into something so foreign, she might as well be in Japan. One voice she picked out made her heart speed up a little faster and teeth bit her lip. Her breath stopped and held in waiting as she descended the steps.

"Oi ototo-chan, come check out your little guest."

She harshly swallowed and resisted the urge to twiddle her fingers. Every nice word or good thought she had upstairs vanished with uncertainty. Adrenaline hit and she prayed with whoever was listening that Inaki didn't think she shouldn't be wearing this. 'Please don't let him, or the others, laugh.'

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Yakusoku-(I) promise Kono hito wa...-This person is... Kore wa Himmen Kalie-san-This is (Miss) Kalie Himmen

Okyakusan o boku arimasu-I have a guest Owarimashita!-(I'm) Finished! Kawaii!-Cute/So cute/How cute/etc Kanzashi-Hair ornament

Koshihimo-Tied underneath kimono and prevent it from slipping while getting dressed (temporary ties) Koishii-Dearest


	34. Ch 34

His mind kept wondering how K would look in Jayden's furisode and he managed to busy himself stringing lanterns and getting the beans ready for tonight to help take his mind off it. His obaasan finally shooed him away with thought to the time and he went into the lower level bathroom to change.

He meandered in the kitchen, helping his okaasan with food preparation, though his ultimate goal was to be one of the first to see K as she descended the steps. He didn't want her looking all over for him, as he promised he would stay by or near her, but he also wanted to see her before she could adjust to everyone's eyes in their native threads.

Jayden's voice shook him from his thoughts and his heart beat faster. Adrenaline hit him as hands quickly washed the nigiri salt mix off and grabbed a towel on his way over. He tossed it on the counter, and halted when a vision presented itself in front of him.

It seemed everything in his body stopped. He went to swallow and found his mouth dry.

K...she fit that furisode like a glove! It suited her so well and he mentally thanked his hisobosan for making the first suggestion. Green met him across the way as she paused at the bottom of the stairs, a slim hand still holding the rail, and everything else seemed to melt away.

"K-san wa hountoni kirei...ne, ototo-chan?"

He jumped and looked to Jayden. She looked very pretty as well, but she couldn't hold up to K. A word went through his heart and spoke before it could connect with his brain. "Utsukushii yo..." He mumbled, locking eyes again.

Jayden blinked, a little stunned, and looked between them. They didn't seem to notice through their stunned looks and a knowing smile slowly appeared. Without a word, she took the geta from K's hand and passed through to set them by the patio door before exiting outside.

Even when a body slid through, it didn't register. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he was being stupid by just standing and gawking, but he couldn't help it. It took a few mental orderings to get his body to move and that seemed labored.

Her lips pressed together when he slowly trudged over. She knew it...he hated it. Perhaps the idea was a nice one, but seeing her try to blend in was a different thing altogether. She was, after all, basically trying to be Japanese for the night when she had not one drop of the nationality in her veins.

'Poser.' She retorted, finally looking away. She pierced the carpet with a solemn glance, about two seconds away from tracking Jayden down to have her take this off. 'You should've gone with your first instinct and stayed in your own clothes, at least then you wouldn't be so –'

A hand gripped hers and wide green met brown in shock. She blinked at the look in Inaki's eyes – what she saw earlier when he almost made her fall – that was more intense than before. Her heart sped up even more and her hands shook. "Inaki...what..." She swallowed and found a lump. That took her back a bit. "It...it looks bad doesn't it? You don't need to say anything." Not able to stand his gaze, she looked to the metal railing behind them. "I can change out if you want me to go get Jayden and -"

Before he knew what he was doing, a hand shot out and gripped her chin, halting her speech and quickly getting her attention. He was a little angry that she'd beat herself up over a misunderstanding, but had to admit he didn't exactly help the situation. He would fix that right now. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I was too taken aback...by how nice you look." His head immediately shook. "Iie...boku wa chigaimasu...you look beautiful in that."

Her face flamed to new degrees, and she would've slithered to the floor in a heap had his grip on her chin not kept her in reality. A goofy smile appeared as her eyes looked away. His fingers gently squeezed and she looked back – partially in wonder.

"I need to break you of that habit I think." He gently mused, softly smiling. "There is nothing wrong with accepting a compliment. Get used to it because you will be hearing how good you look in that furisode all night long." He winked and finally let go of her chin...but kept a hold of her hand. "Now that we have a few minutes, I can either introduce you to the rest of the family while they're all here, or I can coach you on a few things. You decide."

Meet the family and culturally blunder their language or know the language and then meet the family without screwing up.

No contest.

"Teach me obi-wan-kinobi." She cracked, giggling.

He grinned and stepped away, suddenly realizing how close he was. "We can go into the lower level. No one is down there that I know of and you won't have to worry about them." He headed for the stairs and tugged her to follow.

She did so, hoping the trembling in her fingers would stop before he noticed! A hand went for the wall as she couldn't get to the railing...and had no real desire to remove her hand from his just to do so. "By the way...you look nice as well." She shyly muttered, pointedly looking to the wall. The pattern of his clothes was intricate – though not as nice as hers, she thought – and his braid made him seem very sophisticated.

He cast a look over his shoulder and grinned. They stopped next to the L-couch and he turned. "Arigatou." He answered, inclining his head. He leaned against the back, as it would be unfair to sit while she couldn't – and wouldn't. "Now...lesson one. I'm going to teach you how to pronounce your vowels."

She giggled, though she looked away again. "I'm not THAT bad. I do speak some Spanish at Sam's family's house whenever we're there. Plus I took four years of French in high school and tested out of that in college. I think I know my vowels."

He blinked. "That's pretty cool – you never mentioned the French thing yet...but it doesn't explain your slips."

She gave him a wry glance. "I said I speak SOME Spanish at the Merth house. And I haven't spoken French since I graduated. It's been a few years. But I know how to say a – e – i – o – u, thank you very much."

"Then you just need to keep that in mind and you'll stop getting people grimacing at you." He flinched at a light slap on the shoulder, grinning. "Oi! Don't abuse the teacher! Knock me out and you're screwed."

She gave a mock bow as she'd seen others do around here and giggled. "Teach away oh wise one."

"Smart ass... Anyway – lesson two...you heard my father tack on an ending to your name. Those prefixes deal with politeness, title, and in a way, how close you are to a person. The san is polite, and means miss, mrs, mister. Just use that at the end of everyone's names and you'll be fine. People are very respectful toward one another, and you're going to hear that a lot tonight...so that's what it means. You'll also hear chan. That is more of a closeness issue than an actual title. Depending on how well you know a person is when you tack that on. You remember me saying nee-CHAN earlier? I can say that because she's my sister, but you can't. You COULD call me Inaki-chan if you wanted, but that's your decision." A hand rubbed his chin in thought. "Of course, saying my name without a title is even more familiar, so that kind of shoots me in the foot doesn't it?"

A brown brow rose. "I claim nationality differences on that one." She kidded, grinning.

He snorted and stuffed his hands in the bulky sleeves. "That's your excuse too." He muttered, smiling. "So are you clear on the name issue? Basically, just use san and you'll be fine."

"Got it. Next."

He snorted again. "So impatient... Lesson three...bowing. You've seen that around here. Just a way we show respect and it also conveys thanks. The deeper you bow, the more you're saying thank you. People can really mean it by getting on the floor and bowing, but I think you're fine with a simple bend-at-the-waist."

"As if I would allow myself to sit in this ANYWAY." Her head carefully shook, mindful of the ornament. "Let alone trying to bow at the waist! I don't know how the women of your family wear these things! They're beautiful, but they sure are restrictive..."

His grin turned rather evil and a finger poked the obi. "Must suck to be an onna, ne?" He snickered and met her glare. "You don't have it as easy as you think. I'm wearing a juban just like you, so stop whining. Plus I've got a cardboard at the base of my waist, so there." He turned and pointed.

Her eyes gained a rather...RATHER prime view of his backside and before she could think, she was staring. She was thankful that was just a split second occurrence and he was again leaning against the couch. Luckily, he didn't seem to catch her so she didn't feel like blushing quite so bad.

"Lesson four...words. I said arigatou on the way down, and you're going to hear that many times before the night is out. We thank each other a lot, and apologize a lot. So you'll be good to learn the word before the party." He had her sound it out and acquaint it in her mind before continuing. "Next word. Gomen works for now. Basically means sorry, though depending on what you're talking about, you could say 'I'm sorry, sorry about that', etc. But it generally means sorry. When saying gomen, it's normal to bow as well. Bowing has a lot of helpful motives."

She smiled and repeated the word a few times. This was fun, and so much better than when she had to learn French in high school. Not only was she not graded, but she had a nice teacher right in front of her.

She mentally shook her head.

"Anything else I need to know?" She asked, forcing her mind to stop thinking that way. "I'd like to stop making an idiot of myself."

He grinned, biting off an immediate crack on that. "Those are some of the basics. As you did earlier, never leave your shoes on when you cross tatami or carpet. Tatami especially because it wears out much easier than carpet. I don't care if you're going in for ten seconds or a quick trip to the bathroom; you always take your shoes off."

She wanted to retort that she had a feeling she wouldn't be ABLE to use the bathroom until she figured how to keep from putting wrinkles everywhere, but wisely kept it to herself. Like she wanted THAT embarrassment...

She nodded. "What else?"

He donned a rather evil grin. "I hope you don't wimp out on the food because it looks strange. You'd offend us if you don't at least eat SOMETHING."

Her nose turned up in defense. "I'll have you know I make some rather strange dishes myself mister. I'll be fine."

The grin didn't leave. "You say that now. I'll see how strong you are when you taste sushi for the first time."

She shrugged. "The smells were good the second I walked in the door, so I think I'm good. What else?"

"That should do for tonight. If someone speaks to you in Japanese, just tell them you don't speak it outside of what you've been taught. Everyone speaks English too, but since we're all Japanese, we speak our language more."

She felt like an outsider again with that comment, but forcefully pushed it aside. She didn't dress up like this to stand out! "Got it. Then let's go find your family and check out the backyard. I want to see how it looks now."

He conceded and followed her to the back door. A smile tipped his lips as she slid into the geta and clopped onto the engawa, happy she remembered to do so. He spotted half his family loitering around, making final decorations, and a few early arrivals. He bowed when he caught their eye and it was returned.

She had to stop for a moment just to take in the dress of everyone. It was so interesting to be so fully immersed in a different culture and was glad she came and wanted to blend in. This would stick with her for a while.

A hand on the tie over her back pushed her to the stairs for the grass and she blushed as she went for them. She spied Jayden talking to someone in a corner and smiled when the woman nodded. Remembering Inaki's teaching, she gave a quick bow about forty degrees – hoping it was enough – and was rewarded with an enthusiastic grin.

That bolstered her spirits enough to do it again and feel a little less timid. She jumped a little when a hand rested on her arm, and quickly looked to Inaki.

"K, this is my mother Kristine and grandmother Mamorah. Okaasan, obaasan, kore wa Himmen Kalie-san."

The two bowed and she quickly followed suit, rewarded with more smiles and feeling even better. "It's a pleasure to meet you." She answered, eyeing their clothes. "Your clothes are very beautiful."

Kristine looked at her irotomesode and smiled. "Thank you dear...you look very lovely as well. That furisode suits you."

She blushed and looked away with a sheepish smile. A different hand patted hers and drew her attention. "Hai, hai. My musume is correct, you look pretty." Mamorah appraised. "I'm happy hahaue mentioned it to my magomusuko. It is a pleasure to meet you Himmen-san."

She gave as deep a bow as she could with the woman so close and smiled. "A – arigatou." She stammered, blushing. She hoped they wouldn't make fun of her for trying the language out, as no one had said anything about the rest yet.

Mamorah smiled and nodded back. Aged eyes met his. "There is food ready to be set up magomusuko. Will you enlist the help of Himmen-san? It's not too hard, and you know where everything goes." She winked. "You might find some food too irresistible to let go after all."

He gave a grin and nodded. "Ryoukai obaasan. Come K...we have food to pilfer."

Green blinked and looked at him, her heart speeding again as his arm wrapped around hers. "Didn't your grandmother just say we were only supposed to set stuff out?"

He chuckled and set his zouri aside, pushing them to order by the door. He waited until she did the same before heading for the stoves. "You didn't read between the lines. We just got permission to sneak food before the party actually starts."

Green blinked, though she was glad to help. A hand grabbed a pair of potholders and slipped them on. "I thought the party already started. There's quite a few people here..."

He laughed and quickly reigned it in as he picked up a pot of miso. "This is nothing. These are just the early arrivals who like to help set up and chat before it gets crowded. You'll see what I mean in about half an hour."

She grabbed a whicker basket he told her to carry - finding it rather heavy - and wondered what was in it. The second it was set in its proper place, she pulled the lid off and found a patch of rice balls wrapped in something green.

"Nori-nigiri." He reported, already heading back inside. "I'll name everything for you later if you want. It won't help because I'm going to have you try a little of everything, but at least you'll have some type of name."

She playfully glared at his back and took the sandals off again. "In Japanese, yes. You're doing that to torture me aren't you?" She retorted.

"Who's torturing who?"

Her head whipped toward the upper level stairs, being able to hear the faint voice with the noise muffled inside. It was pretty quiet until you got closer to the open screen door.

She ended up bumping into Inaki, who she didn't know stopped, and latched onto his arms to keep from falling. The last thing she wanted to do was fall and make a mess of this dress around anyone. She quickly let go as he turned, feeling embarrassed – but also his muscles under the thick cotton – and stepped back.

"Hisobosan desu ka?"

"Himagomusuko, yasashii shimaso." Mira called, slowly heading down the steps.

Seeing the woman wasn't taking the stairs well, she hurried over before catching herself and extended an arm. Sure she held a cane in one hand, but the other wasn't smartly using the banister as she should've, so she offered her services.

He watched the scene a little stunned, but warmth flooded him at how generous she was. She helped before thinking, though his hisobosan should've used the banister. The woman was wise, but stubborn. "Hisobosan...kore wa Himmen Kalie-san. K, this is my great grandmother Mira."

She didn't know how to react, so hid her eyes with a quick bow. "Nice to meet you." She quietly said.

Mira let go when the girl stepped back and her free hand rose to gently touch the girl's chin, moving it up to see her face. Aged brown stared into uneasy green for what seemed a while before the woman smiled. Her hand pulled away enough to pat the girl's cheek gently. "You have nice eyes. I like you." She answered, stepping around her.

Unsure how to react, confused green absently stared at the steps as she heard Mira walk into the kitchen. That was a compliment, but such a strange way to put it.

"Himagomusuko, how many people have arrived?"

"A dozen or so I think. Is hisofusan still asleep upstairs?"

"Hai, I only came down because I heard noises." Mira looked to the backyard, already in a kurotomesode. "Where is musuko?"

His brow furrowed. "Shitteirimasen. I haven't seen ojiisan since I returned."

Mira sighed and tapped her cane on the floor in irritation. "Ano baka...slumping on his duties. Find him and tell him I said to get to work."

He grinned and looked over aged white. K was standing there, watching with a small smile on her face. He waved her over and headed for the screen door, going for his zouri.

She copied and was almost out of the doorway when movement to the right caught her eye. She turned to Inaki and leaned close. "Is your great grandmother supposed to be lifting heavy stuff?" She hissed, hoping the lady didn't hear. The woman balanced a rather large, full plate in one hand and used her cane as support.

He whipped around and hastily kicked off his zouri, forgetting K's breath fanning his cheek. "Iie hibososan! Obaasan told me to bring that stuff outside –"

Mira lifted the cane and waved it in his face to get him to back off and keep from taking the plate in her hand. "Baka...I'm old, not frail." She muttered, marching past. She slipped into a pair of geta and clopped outside.

There was the biggest urge to laugh at poor Inaki trying to keep from 'burdening' his eldest relative and she finally gave in to it, even with a hand covering her mouth. She leaned against the glass door as much as possible ignored his glare.

"Sue me for worrying about my relatives. Sheesh...babaa, never thinks age is going to catch up with her."

"I heard that himagomusuko!"

He flinched, wondering how bad he'd get it later. He wouldn't take it past Mira to lightly smack him with her cane as chastement.

That started a whole new round of laughter. She suddenly felt very at home here with as close as everyone was toward each other. It reminded her of the Merths, just a different ethnicity and not so many people and it allowed her nerves to relax more. She gave him a warm smile for being so concerned. It was cute how he tried to keep Mira from helping.

Pouting at being picked on; he stopped in front and folded his arms in the sleeves. "Sure, sure...laugh it up. You jeopardize yourself, you know that? I just might let you sample the food on your own."

She grinned and straightened, hands going to make sure she didn't muss anything. "And that's a problem? My stomach is rumbling anyway. It wouldn't matter what I eat because I hadn't eaten anything the hour before you picked me up. I'm famished."

His head shook in amaze. "Why the hell didn't you TELL me that?? I would've had you eat a nori-nigiri when you got here!" A hand rose and rapt on her head with his knuckles. "Mou...kangaero!"

"Hey - don't mess up the hair!" That was one of the few time she'd ever say that while she was feeling so feminine. She ducked out of his way and grabbed his wrist as it purposely twisted in her bangs to annoy her. She glared and tried not to smile. "You're so evil to me. I thought I was here on a guest pass."

He grinned and reached out to lightly pinch her cheek. "Guests don't get free passes in this house. Everyone works or they don't eat. I suppose I should've lessoned you on that before I stopped, ne?"

She tried to pout, but the charming grin wouldn't allow her. "Evil...evil, evil, evil." She squeezed his wrist a little bit, though making sure not to gouge him with her nails.

He was suddenly aware of what they were doing and blinked. He effectively killed the play, but that was sidetracked by the way the sunset lit the brown on K's head into a dark auburn. His heart sped again with adrenaline to accompany it and his wrist became highly sensitive to the skin surrounding it. He froze and stared into wondering green.

"Inaki? What is it?" She queried, head tilting a little.

She was so lovely – no, breathtaking was more the word. Emotions hit him hard and brown took in her face, engraving each feature into memory while he had this chance. He tried to swallow and found his mouth dry again.

The good humor slowly died as she soon recognized the look being sent her way. He could've been looking out the back at one of his family, if he wasn't standing so close...with his eyes pointedly looking to her alone. She was suddenly aware of the lack of distance and her heart sped up. Fingers laxed their grip further as they started shaking, his skin tingling her palms. She couldn't form words, couldn't move. She was pinned in place, hand still in the air.

Slowly, his arm lowered and twisted at a snail's pace until he had her hand in his. He entwined their fingers, allowing her more than enough time to pull away...and his heart beat even faster – if possible – when she gave no resistance and spread her fingers a little.

Their hands lay dead at their sides, forgotten. What was she doing?? She didn't know, because her brain had ceased to exist minutes ago. Her palm was tingling all the way up to her forearm with his touch and it felt like there was a pull to his body she was now sensing. She didn't know what it was, but something was telling her to move closer, though he was only inches away already.

Gods how he wanted to kiss her! Never had a moment been more perfect, their situation good enough to stand it. He didn't give a damn about what would happen afterward, he wanted to feel her lips against his and hold her to his body. He hadn't since her confession, and that seemed like a lifetime ago. The world seemed to fall away, though he could see them filter around out of the corner of his vision. None of that mattered as he stared at the enchanting creature in front of him.

Just as she felt herself give in and was going to push off the glass, breathing was heard near her ear. She jumped and gasped, quickly pulling her hand out of his and whirling around.

He yelped at seeing Jayden's face almost over K's shoulder and jumped back, tripping on a zabuton and landing rather heavily on the dinner table. "ITAI!" He deeply glared at being startled and for ruining probably his ONLY moment with K. "NEE-CHAN..." He growled.

Jayden looked to both with a smile, not phased at his anger in light of what she saw seconds ago. "Hibososan wants to know why you haven't tracked down ojiisan. She said to hop to it before she whacks you with her cane."

He snorted and quickly stood, yanking the screen open. "I'm going, I'm GOING!" He cast a quick glance at K, gaze softening a little. "Come on - let's go track that jijii down." He muttered, pushing past Jayden.

'Track him down and glare holes into him for ruining it!'

A hand pressed against her chest as she tried to get her heart under control. She dumbly went for the sandals and stepped onto the porch.

"I didn't mean to startle you K-san...but you looked rather busy."

Her face flamed as wide green stared into highly amused brown. Her mouth opened to defend herself, but she only gave a small squeak and hurried after Inaki before she could lose him.

It didn't take long to track down Kekoy, and thankfully the search cooled a little of his anger. Funny enough, the old man was sitting in meditative position in his dojo, ignoring everything that was going on outside.

"Ojiisan! Hisobosan is threatening bodily harm on me if I didn't find you! What are you doing in here anyway??"

Inaki slipped out of his sandals and she quickly did the same, looking around. This was the one place she hadn't seen yet and she bypassed both to wander in the back.

Aged brown slowly opened. A hand rose from his knee and jerked a thumb behind. "Sono onna wa..." Kekoy met his grandson's eyes and smiled. "Eh? Koi desu ka?"

His face flamed, not happy with being reminded of what he almost did – trying to ignore it again - and glared. "I – ie! Ojiisan, kore wa Himmen Kalie-san." He rambled. He looked past, seeing her turn at her name. "K this is my grandfather Kekoy."

"Hajimemashite." Kekoy answered, gradually getting to his feet. He ignored Inaki's hand and turned. He found a bow and bowed in return, already liking the girl.

"Nice to meet you."

He headed toward her and stopped, pulling her down to reach his shorter height. He stared at her the same as Mira did before smiling. "You look very beautiful in my magomusume's furisode."

She blushed and smiled. "A – arigatou..." She stammered, biting her lip.

"Kimi no tomadachi wa yasashii desu." Kekoy answered, knowing the girl didn't know any Japanese.

He grinned. "I already knew that." He answered, shoving his hands in the sleeves. He walked closer to them and looked around. "This is the one place I didn't show you, but this the outdoor dojo I have. You remember me telling you about it."

Green looked around again. She smirked. "You're still spoiled."

"I am NOT!"

Kekoy chuckled and patted her arm. "Very nice. You can keep my magomusuko in line."

"Jijii..."

Kekoy sent a dry look to his grandson for the disrespect, but shrugged. "The party is going on?"

"Almost. People have started to arrive."

"Then I think I shall go make myself known and suffer the wrath of hahaue."

He smirked and let the man pass, watching K walk around to take things in. "Why do you say I'm spoiled?" He asked as silence returned.

She cast him a quick look before picking up a short sword. "I don't know anyone else that has two nice-sized rooms just to work out in and a bunch of weapons to practice with. You don't think that's spoiled?"

He hurried over as she had picked up one of the sharp swords. He didn't want her to cut herself, then he'd feel guilty. "I call it thoughtfulness. My family didn't HAVE to build me a room to work out in during the summer." His hand snuck out and grabbed the sheath as she started pulling it apart. "That's the razor sharp set, I advise against you handling it."

She pushed the sword together, but cast an odd look over her shoulder. "I'd be careful with it..."

He smirked and took it out of her grasp. "You can still get cut easily. I don't want you getting hurt; I'd feel guilty for keeping you from harm." She looked away with a smile, suddenly looking into brown with a hand under her chin. "You have a reason for doing that, don't you?" He queried, head tilting.

She sobered and looked at the wall behind him. "You heard my story...why do you think I do it?"

His heart pinged. The grip on her chin gently squeezed. "I think you do it because you haven't found that strength within yourself to live life." He softly answered. "I think it's sad...but I think you can bring yourself to stop such insecurities if you try and really want to."

Her jaw clenched. "That's hard to do with my life." She whispered, feeling bitter tears come to her eyes.

He inaudibly sighed. He carefully rested his other hand on her shoulder, mindful of the sword...even though it was sheathed. He didn't need it coming from the scabbard. "I think you can overcome anything you want to if you have the willpower to do so. I used to be shy when I was a kid..."

She blinked, the bad sliding away with that fact. "YOU? You were shy..."

He gave a rueful smile. "I don't look it do I? Yes it's true...I was timid as a little kid. I always thought I was different than other people in this city, even though many were my ethnicity. Other nationalities didn't phase me...I just thought there was something about me that was off. I didn't know what it was, but when I met the guys, that changed." His face softened a little. "That's why I think you can do anything you want to. I've been there and got past it – it's possible if you see a need and want to change."

Her eyes slid closed, knowing she wouldn't be able to look at him for long. "What if...I don't...WANT to change?" She whispered. "What if...I feel I deserve to be this way? I told you...everyone leaves. They left. Does that give me just cause to be bright and happy? Why should I –"

His hand harshly clamped down on her mouth to halt her. Anger burned in his eyes, pained anger. He couldn't see why someone as great as her would openly – maybe EAGERLY – put herself down! "You are a WONDERFUL person!" He hissed, shaking her shoulder a little. "I told you that the first time you talked like this. Don't discount yourself because of what a few assholes did to you in the past. You're way stronger than they'll ever be! And if you keep listening to that garbage you spout, you'll continue to believe it."

Her eyes teared up and she couldn't bat them away. She knew he was right, but a large part of her mind denied it. Bad soaked into her life like a sponge and it was hard to believe anything good when that happened. She had an unlucky life and seemed to attract it.

The only good thing that happened to her so far was Inaki.

She slowly pulled away and he removed his hand. She looked to his chest, unable to meet his eyes. "I know you're right..." She whispered. "But it's just hard, you know? I never seemed to have anything go right. Ever since I was a child, I've probably been this pessimistic, but it never manifested itself this bad. I can't help it, sometimes...sometimes it's better to believe the bad than the good...you know?"

She looked so lost and sad...his arms crushed her to him without thought. His chin rested on her head at feeling her body stiffen in surprise, but he didn't let that get to him. His head turned and rested his cheek on her hair when she finally relaxed and let herself be held. "I understand that. I never thought bad stuff happened in my life, so I can't sympathize. But I can say that it'll get better. You just have to try and give it a chance. I've tried to help others from being this way...to be better people...and I can help you if you want. But only if you want. I can't help someone who doesn't want help themselves."

Her head turned and buried itself in his clothes. Silent tears burned and soaked the threads. This was the second time she cried in front of Inaki. Was it getting easier? Was he making her cry on purpose by making her feel this way?

She was touched by his offer, though she didn't know how effective he could help her through letters. He wouldn't be able to visit enough to help her build courage. Writing him wouldn't have as big an impact, though she was beginning to feel better by telling him a few things in knowledge that he couldn't see her.

Green peeked open. She hadn't in the beginning...did that mean he already started helping? She didn't know...all she knew was, his offer sounded nice and she was SO tempted to take it. But she was afraid, afraid of what would happen if she changed. She knew who she was – albeit pessimistic and self-berating – and knew that. She'd been that way for a long time and it was scary to think she could be someone else.

Someone so totally different, it would be like she wasn't herself.

That started the beginnings of a shiver. She didn't want to be anyone other than herself, but at the same time, she was tired of being this way. Never thinking she was good enough, yet couldn't get that out of her mind. 'Thank you Arthur.' She bitterly spat.

She wanted to be better...she tried after she said no one would ever rule her again. Didn't that mean she would put the past behind her and move on, not dwell and act who she was when they went out? Hadn't she tried so hard to put the past behind her...tried to for years? Didn't this mind frame count too?? What made her think this was any different than anything else she should get past?

The offer was sounding more and more tempting, but she was still too stuck in her ways to accept it that quickly. She'd have to think on it...but she would resolve not to let this go after she got home tonight.

The feeling of a new beginning stirred in her heart and a smile slowly appeared. 'What is it about him that I find myself doing so many things I wouldn't do? Why would I agree to him when I never agree to what my best friend wants?'

She never spent enough time around him to consider him her close friend, but letters seemed to do it for them. The bond formed through the mail and the few times they were together cemented everything ten times what any letter could do.

'I never...never knew... Never knew he already became that important to me...' Slowly, she pulled away enough to look into his eyes, a caring smile on her face.

His face soon matched hers as he gave a little, encouraging squeeze. Her smile widened a little and his followed. There was acceptance in her eyes, and trust. And...compassion.

He swallowed, heart speeding up. It was doing that a lot and he was surprised he hadn't suffered the effects of anything due to it. Of course, adrenaline accompanied it. He swallowed hard; distinctly aware of every part that touched K. Teeth bit the inside of his lip as the feeling of wanting to kiss her quickly rose. They were alone this time...

The experience was relived again as she sobered and her body sped up. Teeth unknowingly nibbled on her lip, making his eyes look down. They froze and slowly let go, her lips parting.

His heart was screaming at him to kiss her. She was in his arms, her lips were parted, they were alone, and the noise barely heard outside was a catalyst for part of the mood. It seemed like the world was a million miles away and he had everything he needed right here. Never would he get a third chance – especially when only one person knew where he was. They were safe.

He was suddenly reminded of the sword in his hand when the scabbard slowly slid as his hand turned and loudly clacked to the floor. He mentally swore again, realizing when K closed the sword, she didn't close it so it didn't slip! They both jumped and pulled back, looking away from each other.

He rounded her and that split second was enough for her to compose herself and take a deep breath. She let it out as quietly as possible and turned to him, resolved to get past this again. They did the first time, they could do so again. 'Though why we keep getting in these to begin with is beyond me!!'

His back remained to her to hide his blush, though it was dark enough where the interior lighting was poor. His hand remained on the hilt even after it was back in its spot. "Think about what I said." He quietly muttered. Straightening, he turned and took her hand with a serious gaze. "I mean what I say. I'll help you if you ask for it."

She swallowed, but finally nodded. "I – somehow...I want to change. You -" Her head ducked, "- you make me want to change." A timid smile appeared as she forced herself to meet his eyes. "I don't...I don't know why...but I do. I'll – I'll think about it and give you my answer later."

He smiled and gave her hand a squeeze, heart fluttering. "That's good enough for me." He stepped back and extended his arm. "Shall we? I think people are going to wonder where we are...and you still haven't eaten anything yet."

She was painfully aware of that fact now that everything shuffled away and nodded. Her arm slowly wound around his, a little shy at touching him, but let it go as they headed for the doors.

"I think I'll have you try some nori-nigiri as an appetizer. Then sample the miso...can't go without the sushi...and the takoyaki –"

She squeezed his arm and slipped into her sandals to quiet him. "I may be hungry, but I've a small stomach. Remember that."

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, finding her with a raised brow, and grinned. "You'll live. You can't go without sampling at least a handful of everything we have. I don't care if you just take a mouthful of some of my food; you have to try it all."

The image of her eating off his plate gained a blush, and she looked at the yard before he could see her unease. Green widened as she stopped dead. "This's - "

He grinned at her shock. "I TOLD you you'd see within in half an hour. Why do you think I gave you my arm?"

"There are honestly THIS many people in one neighborhood?!" She nearly screeched, getting a few eyes. Her face flamed and she looked down.

He chuckled and dragged her to the mob. "With food for all. I'm going to also teach you how to hold chopsticks, since I assume you don't know how."

"Correct mister wizard."

"Smartass. I swear you're a lot like Jayden." He muttered, pulling her up the stairs to the engawa.

She stuck close, taking in all the colorful outfits and children running around in miniatures of the same. She smiled fondly at how adorable they were, before her arm was dropped. She looked and found herself face to face with all the plates they were supposed to bring out. She felt a little guilty that she wasn't able to help, not to mention Inaki's grandmother asked them to, but her cheeks heated at why she hadn't and mentally shook herself.

He dished her up a piece of sushi to try, a spoonful of takoyaki and sukiyaki – wondering if she'd be able to eat chopped octopus, grabbed a smaller nori-nigiri, and poured a bit of miso into a soup bowl. Seeing nothing else would fit on her plate, he grasped a hand and pulled her to the picnic table in the center of the main part of the engawa and set the plate before her.

"Don't go touching anything yet until I get mine and us both tea." He warned, wagging a finger.

She pouted but nodded, hoping to try the soup at least. A pair of chopsticks rested over the little space left on the plate and she was itching to pick them up and learn on her own.

"Ojou-san...kirei mirimasu."

She looked over and found a very old man staring with a kind smile. Teeth bit her lip as hands in her lap twisted. "Ah...g – gomen...but I don't understand Japanese."

"Ah...Eigo desu." The man nodded. She suddenly found she liked this man. He slowly ambled over and sat on one of the seats. "Are you from around here?"

Her head shook, a smile forming. This man seemed like a grandfather, though he looked much older, and she had the urge to ask him to tell her of his family. She bit her tongue. That would DEFINITELY not be polite. "No, I'm from Miami. A friend brought me here for tonight. His sister lent me this. It's very beautiful."

The old man peered closer amongst the many lanterns and she held up a long sleeve so he could see. "That looks very familiar. I think I have seen that on someone before..." A wrinkled hand scratched his head.

Her head tilted. "You might have seen it on his sister. I don't know if she's worn it, but it's possible."

"Ah...hisofusan. There you are. Enjoy your nap?"

Her head whipped around and found Inaki resting his plate next to hers with a congenial look.

"Very much so himagomusuko. Your obaasan woke me up and told me the party was passing me by so I decided to make myself known."

Her head whipped to the old man, with wide eyes. The terms were unknown, but they were spoken inside the household with Inaki and his relatives. Her hand rose. "You're...are you –"

"Ah, K...meet my great grandfather Setsumo. Hisofusan, kore wa Himmen Kalie-san."

"Ah...hajimemashite – uh, pleased to meet you."

She smiled to cover her blunder and extended a hand. Finding out this man was related to Inaki didn't make him any less nice and she still liked him. "The pleasure is all mine Setsumo-san." She replied.

Inaki smiled. "I'm going to get us some tea. You like green right?"

She looked at him. "I don't think I've ever had it, but I'll try it."

He nearly fell over. "NEVER?! You've never had sencha??" His eyes bugged out of their sockets. "That's it – you're trying some. Hisofusan...do you want some while I'm at it?"

"Hai, arigatou himagomusuko." They were left alone again and she looked around, wishing to take some of the foods and eat them without chopsticks. She was getting rather hungry... "Are you enjoying yourself so far Himmen-san?"

She looked at Setsumo and smiled. "It's very enlightening. I've learned so much and it makes me want to learn more."

He nodded and patted her hand. "Ii desu, ii desu." Aged brown looked out with her. After a second, he snuck a look at her staring at the plate. "You don't need to wait for my himagomusuko if you want to eat."

Her gaze jerked to his almost guiltily, but she smiled. "I'm afraid I don't know how to use chopsticks. Plus Inaki wanted me to wait so he could see my reaction."

The man tsked. "Greedy as ever." Setsumo reached out and picked her chopsticks off, automatically holding them in eating form. "You look rather hungry and it's rude to keep you waiting. I would be delighted to teach you if you don't mind."

That sounded a whole lot safer than having Inaki help, considering he would have to touch her hands to get placement right. She was still trying to get back to their normal playfulness from before. She nodded. "I would very much appreciate that."

Setsumo smiled and scooted a little closer. It took one look of placement and two quick tries of picking up food before the girl had it down pat. "You're a natural Himmen-san." He praised, watching her go for the sukiyaki.

She quickly swallowed the beef, the taste driving her taste buds wild, and smiled. "You're a good teacher Setsumo-san." She really liked this man and it was easy to be at ease around him more than almost anyone else beside Inaki. She didn't know why, but she felt a kinship to this man. It only gave her more incentive to try out her newly Japanese tips. She gave as deep a bow as possible while sitting. "Arigatou for your help." She gave a wry grin. "I fear I would've collapsed if I had to wait for Inaki to return."

Setsumo laughed and patted her shoulder again. "You have spirit Himmen-san, I like that."

"Hey! I thought I told you not to eat until I got back. I thought you said you didn't know how to use chopsticks!"

A beautiful cup was set before her and she studied it and the steam trailing out in the cool air. "Setsumo-san taught me." She happily reported. "He's great...see? - first try." She picked up another piece of sukiyaki and stuffed in her mouth. "Very good. What dish is this?"

"Sukiyaki." He reported, plopping down. "Hisofusan, why did you teach her? K's MY guest."

Was he POUTING over such a small thing? It was cute, but odd. She mentally shook her head and went for the roll she assumed was sushi and took a small bite of it.

"Himagomusuko, Himmen-san said she was very hungry. I was being polite in your rudeness to make up for it so she wouldn't think less of the family."

Her head shook. "No, no Setsumo-san. I like your family very much. They've all been very nice to me." She felt the need to make him see that and also get Inaki off the hook. Why was unknown, considering he wouldn't let her touch anything without being able to see her reaction. That was strange enough as it was.

"Ii desu Himmen-san." Setsumo patted her hand again and took up his tea.

He took up his chopsticks and stuck the sushi in his mouth, feeling a little better at watching the two interact. K seemed the most at ease with Setsumo, though the old man had that ability on people.

As she sipped her tea, Jayden ambled up to the table pulling someone she had on her arm. "There you are. I was looking for you K-san." The two met eyes and Jayden smiled. "Are you enjoying yourself thus far?"

"Very." She answered, smiling back. "You have such a wonderful house and everyone is so polite."

Jayden nodded and pulled the man next to her forward. "K-san, this is my koi Chad-kun. I told you earlier I would introduce you two and I keep my promises."

It was quaint, even though no technical promise was made. She nodded, seeing the only other non-Japanese person around, and felt no qualms about being overly polite. "Hello. You're very lucky to have someone as nice as Jayden-san."

Chad smiled and cast loving eyes to brown. "I know this all too well. Hikari desu."

Gagging from Inaki gained their attention and a quick bop on the head from Jayden. "Baka!" She growled, glaring. "Be nice!"

He glared back and stuck his tongue out. "Don't be rude in front K." He grit back, trying to keep from blushing.

She giggled, trying to keep it at bay with a hand. "Go ahead Jayden-san...people need that kind of love every once in a while." Two pairs of brown dumbly looked at her before giving almost simultaneous odd looks. She blinked and comically leaned back. "If only I had a rather large mirror... You two did that at the same time – that's scary."

Both siblings looked at each other and stuck their tongues out. Jayden gave him a raspberry and Inaki pulled at the skin under his eye.

"Mou ii." Setsumo warned over the rim.

There was a pause until Kristine stopped at the table. "There you all are." A hand rested on both sibling's shoulders. "We're almost ready to begin. I'd like your help in getting the bags out of the kitchen and hand them out."

Curious green stared at Inaki's mother. "What? What's going on?" She looked at a rather evil-looking Inaki. "Is this that thing you refused to tell me about until it happened?"

That grin only widened. "Pin pon. Okaasan...K shitteirimasen. So don't go into detail." Brown winked and she scowled.

"You're so evil!" She muttered, crossing her arms to pout.

Jayden nodded. "I agree K-san. Ototo has a tendency to want to surprise people too much." A hand reached out and poked his arm when he stood. An almost matching smile lit up the woman's face. "But I have to agree with him. It has to be a surprise." Brown turned to Chad. "She'll DEFINITELY be astounded."

Chad chuckled. "First timers usually are." He mysteriously answered. The three youths followed Kristine inside and she was left blinking, teacup resting in her hands.

Twenty minutes later, with everyone milling in the grass and a string-tied bag in their hands, there was an excitement in the air she could easily pick up.

Green looked to the bag, then Inaki next to her. She spied Jayden and Chad grinning and watching her, and gave them a dry look. "What is this for again? And what is in it?" He grinned and moved to pull the string off. She quickly copied and found some kind of bean in her palm. "And what are BEANS used for in this -"

"Out with the demon! In with the happiness!"

Her head jerked up and tilted when someone cried that and a handful of beans were thrown in the air.

"Out with the demon! In with the happiness!" Everyone took up the cheer and a bunch was thrown in the air at once. She was pelted on the head - thankful it didn't hurt - and dumbly stared at everyone.

Across the way, both Jayden and Chad were laughing at her. Inaki nudged her and told her to repeat with everyone else, regardless of faith, and followed suit.

She didn't think he could look any more like a kid than this moment. Her heart fluttered as she did as told and threw a handful high when the chant came round again. It pelted back like hard rain and she grinned. It was rather fun!

People chanted and threw until there was no more left, but even then, children threw them from the ground and continued. They were even more adorable in her eyes, and she found herself wanting to join them. Whatever tradition this stemmed from made her feel like a child, just like when she was at the Merth house.

She saw Jayden pick up a handful and sprinkle them over Chad's head. She laughed and had the same thing done from Inaki, getting a yelp. She vocally vowed revenge and scooped up a large amount, ending up chasing him around the yard and trying not to slip in the process. She managed to dump them down the gap to his top and laughed as he squirmed. He vowed revenge as well, but she went and hid behind Setsumo and begged the man to defend her. Inaki gave a few threats, but didn't dare try anything with her in Setsumo's arms. He finally gave up and said he was going to get some more tea and she sat to talk with the man. She almost missed Inaki's arrival and the tea he handed.

This was the life. To only be part of this on a permanent basis. She didn't hold the faith, but she was sorely tempted to with tonight. These people were so close with one another and almost everyone helped gather what was strewn about to clean the yard. She respected them because of that willingness and felt a little bad she wasn't there with them to clean up her share.

She managed to bring hers and Inaki's dishes in at least and gained a small sense of self for that. Kristine was at the sink up to her arms in suds, some kind of string tying back the shorter sleeves so she could work.

It seemed a bitter end when she had to change back to original clothes, wishing she could keep on such a beautiful piece of cloth, but conceded. She kept her promise and the clothes as clean as when they were put on - that's what mattered.

Everyone hugged her goodbye and told her to come back and visit, even if they had to send Inaki down to pick her up. She promised she would when she gained time away from work and school, and finally got to the car.

"How did you like everything?" He asked, taking the main exit out of the city.

"I loved it. I'm glad you asked me." She answered, heavily leaning against the seat in fatigue. "I don't think I've ever had so much fun, or had so much fun learning. You have it made."

He smiled and patted her shoulder before giving the road his attention.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **K-san wa hountoni kirei-(Miss) K is very pretty Utsukushii yo-Beautiful **(yo stresses the word) **Boku wa chigaimasu-I'm wrong

Irotomesode-Like Kurotomesode, but the background is not black - second most formal kimono for married women

Miso-Soup of miso soybean paste, dashi, seaweek, tofu Nori-nigiri-Seaweed rice balls Hisobosan desu ka?-Is that you great grandmother?

Himagomusuko, yasashii shimaso-Great grandson, be nice **(O ending makes it a command)** Babaa-Derogatory term for an old woman

Kurotomesode-Black background and colorful designs on bottom - most formal kimono for married women Shitteirimasen-I don't know

Ano baka-That idiot Kangaero-Think Sono onna wa-That woman is Hajimemashite-Pleased/Nice to meet you

Koi desu ka?-Is she a love/Is she your love? **(Basically asking if it's Inaki's new girlfriend)** Kimi no tomadachi wa yasashii desu-Your friend is nice

Sushi-A piece of sliced fish placed atop a hand-formed oblong rice ball Kirei mirimasu-You look pretty

Takoyaki-small balls made from flour batter, chopped octopus, ginger, leeks, and bits of fried tempura batter Eigo desu-English it is Sencha-Green tea

Ii desu-That's good/That's nice Mou ii-That's enough Pin pon-Bingo


	35. Ch 35

Today was a day just like any other. Spring was arriving, as was told by warmer temperatures. The days were beautiful and tempting to draw one to be outside.

And she would've gone, if she could find the strength to pull her eyes away from the flowers decorating her desk.

She heaved a sigh, lips pursing, and a finger of the hand propping her head up tapped against her cheek. The other reached out to stroke the petal of a pale yellow rose. She brushed against the fuzz of a deep purple iris and looked to it too.

All this time and he still remembered what kinds of flowers she liked. The only time she remembered telling him about it was for her birthday, but that was almost half a year ago!

Just as she surmised...men like him couldn't exist!

A half grin surfaced as green took in the crystal vase. They were delivered on the fourteenth – how cliché, even for Valentine's Day – and was so confused about getting flowers that she thought they were for Sam. It wouldn't be surprising if her friend got them from someone, or bought them for herself even.

But no...the card attached – and still strapped to the vase with yellow string – had Inaki's very recognizable handwriting on it. With her name attached at the top.

She didn't expect this. She didn't know what to think and couldn't help but wonder why he would do this. Did he have a motive in mind? Was he trying to say something with these? Why ELSE would a guy give a girl flowers on one of the biggest romance days in history?

It wasn't a Buddhist holiday – she knew, she looked them up out of curiosity – so that meant he went out of his way to give them specifically to her. Fingers flipped open the card and she idly stared at it.

_Hey K – wow that rhymed – hope you like, because I know they're your favorite. A little something for you to enjoy. Inaki_

A smile made its way before she knew she could control it. So thoughtful...

She groaned after a second and gave a light conk with her head to the desk. This so wasn't fair...Inaki wasn't playing by the 'friend' rules. A guy friend didn't send flowers on Valentine's Day; they sent a stuffed animal or candy. Or even something totally different...more on the personal belongings level of some kind.

Something that didn't have meaning to it.

Ever since spending time with him and his family, her brain had been wracking itself to find an answer to give him. It'd been weeks, with no such luck. She didn't want to tell him no, but she couldn't tell him yes. It was a war of pros and cons that she'd gone over so much, it was getting repetitive.

And now he sent her roses and irises...

That didn't help another aspect that arose during a few rationalizing times.

If she wanted him to help her, what did that say about where they were at in their friendship? The beginning was such an unstable time, when she looked back to think about the beginning. She begrudgingly recognized the fact that he admitted she was attractive and that she found HIM attractive. She would have to be blind NOT to!

But she was so uncertain in thinking of him like that due to how many times she had bad things happen with men in the past. It didn't help future relationship possibilities, and she often cursed the fact that she feared going out with someone in case she got attached. She didn't want another suicide attempt because she was too weak to handle the pain and wanted to make it go away...nor did she want to have them stray away because she didn't get attached at all.

One of the worse catch twenty-two's in the world.

So how did she handle this? Her cheeks burned as two very possible kiss situations came to mind. It seemed her heart still knew how to handle things, even if her mind had problems. And whatever she might have thought about Inaki as a friend, something inside certainly didn't mind mixing things up.

She wouldn't have nearly given in twice otherwise...nor would it have affected her so much.

She sighed and cushioned her head with her arms, able to do so with the desk free. Homework had been shoved away today, with school out on vacation for President's Day and no work. Which was a good thing, because having all day to think about it would be good to finally reach a solution so she could put homework on the forefront again!

She situated the vase on the side of the desk so her head could remain on her arms without having to sit up. Green blankly stared for what seemed forever before closing.

She wasn't so sure she wanted to change...but there was a sliver of her that did. She hadn't changed in a sense of formatting her personality into something else...more to the point of evolving into a better person, but holding onto what made her who she was. Wasn't THAT an ironicy? Becoming someone worse than who she was, instead of trying to become someone BETTER than she was.

If she wanted to be a better person all around – find true strength and happiness again – she should cast it all aside and start anew. What better way to shape your personality than with a clean slate? Wasn't Inaki able to do that when he was a child? He was luckier than she was – his personality hadn't been set in stone yet.

_"I never thought bad stuff happened in my life, so I can't sympathize. But I can say that it'll get better. You just have to try and give it a chance. I've tried to help others from being this way - to be better people - and I can help you if you want. But only if you want. I can't help someone who doesn't want help themselves."_

Green dully stared at the wall as tears lined her eyes. Someone like him... He was so caring for someone he found out about not too long ago.

He was sincere in his offer. So much that she couldn't cast it aside and forget about it. He made her think about what life COULD be like, and she only had that with people like Brad and Arthur. Brad was one of the main people to help her become a little more outgoing in the years they dated. Arthur made her feel happy and she often thought about the future with him entwined.

The emotional manipulation aside...those were the two she – she fell in love with...

Her eyes squeezed shut as fists clenched. She abruptly sat up and mentally berated herself. NO! She was NOT going to fall into that category again! That was too radical to think about anyway. She hadn't known Inaki even a year yet, and she didn't fall in love that easily.

Her head shook. 'Your thoughts are not making any sense dork. You have hours before dinner – go outside and use the fresh air to clear your head.'

Sounded like a good idea. She hadn't been to the beach in a long time anyway, now was no better time.

In minutes, she was dressed for the weather and peeked the door open...finding Sam float past the cracked opening of her door. She smiled and strode over, pushing it open enough to peek through and leaned on the arch.

Spanish music filled the air, providing a good dance beat, and she caught a few snippets of it – having enough practice with the family to know a good vocabulary – somewhere in the song.

**Cada vez (Each time)**

**Cada vez que lo oigo hablar, me tiemblan hasta las piernas (Each time that I hear you talk, my legs tremble)**

**Y el corazón igual (And the heart is equal)**

**Y se emociona (y se emociona) (And I get excited)**

**Ya no razóna (Already no reason)**

**No lo puedo controlar y se emociona (y se emociona) (I can't control it and I get excited)**

**Ya no razóna (Already no reason)**

**Y me empieza a cantar (And I begin to sing)**

**Me canta así, así (It sings to me in this way)**

Her lips pressed together. She loved music and liked to sing on occasion to it, but she did NOT need it telling her part of what was going on in her head! Not even in a different language!

"You want to turn that down some?" She called, wondering how she missed the volume in her room. She hadn't been THAT distracted...

Sam jumped and whirled around - getting an amused smile for being so preoccupied - and went for the cd player. "Sure, sure...make me stop Selena. Philistine."

Her eyes rolled. "You know I like her somewhat...I just wanted to report that I'm going to head out for a little bit."

Sam's brow furrowed. "For what?"

She looked to the floor, arms crossing. "Just thought I'd spend some time outside for once." She muttered. "And I've got things to sort out in my head."

"Well it's not homework. Want me to come with for company?"

Solemn green stared at mildly concerned blue. She – of course – hadn't told Sam what was going on with Inaki, which she seemed to be doing a lot of. Perhaps it had to deal with that she wanted something all to her own was likely, but that was probably overshadowed by the fact that Sam might see this as a dating possibility.

"No. I just need to think over a few things. I'll be back by dinner to get something cooked."

"If not, there are definitely leftovers to munch on."

She nodded and turned for the stairs, feeling eyes until she passed the first set and turned out of sight. Sam was suspicious of course, considering she normally unloaded her problems on the girl...to an extent.

Clamming up on her best friend – odd.

She took a lazy pace to the beach and leaned back in the seat, keeping balance. Hands floated at her sides as she stared ahead, not really seeing.

There was no real way to answer such a simple offer. Just like giving away her past, there was no way to give and no way to ignore. If she said yes, who knew what she'd have to do to get past all the doubts still plaguing her mind. But if she said no, she would most likely continue to rot inside.

The dark parts of her mind had always been with her, ever since she was a child and all but alone. They were there even back then, though not as pronounced or thought upon like now. It was something to fall back on – as horrible as that sounded – in times of anxiety and hesitation. She wasn't accustomed to doing a lot of things that weren't her; she was too organized for that.

If there was one thing she could say about her life, it was that she knew herself. Whether bad or good, she knew what made up her world and personality and liked that. Being an orderly person, she wouldn't know what to do if she had the offer to act loud and out of control.

That was one of the reasons she didn't want to accept change. Order was another...even small things she wouldn't be able to do easily.

Not that changing was easy.

The effect of changing she often daydreamed and wondered about the past weeks. What would she be like if she could say whatever she wanted and had no compunctions about it? What if she could act on her emotions instead of letting them fester and tear her apart...and could actually DECIDE on something for once!

A hand rose and lightly bopped her on the side of the head, even though she had to smile at that thought.

'Wouldn't THAT be a strange thing – to be able to decide something without thinking so much into it and about it. I think I'd go crazy wondering if I made the right decision.' She sighed and pushed against the pedals again.

She could debate this the rest of the week if she wanted and still not get anywhere. Comparing everything and tearing each example apart for meaning was something she had done too much in her life. She was especially good at that – and annoying people with it – but it DID get old after a while.

There was that little thought from earlier which sprouted of Inaki in different avenues. She didn't want to go there at ALL, lest she get into past paths and read too much into it. Getting her hopes up was one of the harshest things she could do, because the fall was harder right now. When she was stronger and more able to take rejection, she would think of how pitiful she was – which came to her occasionally – and shake her head at it all.

It wasn't hard to read into what happened between them though. Two near kisses on the lips, one on the forehead, a few times he held her – which felt too good to pull away from, and the many caring words he gave. Saying she was beautiful and wonderful...how much did she need to look before picking up on the subtle hints?

Brad said the same things when they dated.

She was abruptly jolted back to reality when the bike suddenly shifted to one side and took her with it. She fell in a tangle with a surprised cry and grit her teeth as her hip broke her fall on the pavement.

She would definitely feel THAT tomorrow.

"Owie..." She groaned, slowly pushing into sitting position. A hand reached over and unwrapped her shoelaces from the pedals and she was grateful for wearing pants. Her leg was dangerously close to the chain - one good swipe across her skin and she might be hurt even worse.

Hands went to feel for more injuries and she grimaced, finding them scraped and a few sporting drops of blood. She sighed and gingerly stood, getting back on the bike. Walking with her hip wasn't a good idea, but riding was as bad too. Not like she could put her full weight on her palms now, but she was CERTAINLY not going to try to ride without holding onto the handlebars now.

'If I hadn't been so damn distracted, I would've seen that rock coming.' She sourly mused. A fist-sized rock was given a hefty kick off the center of the sidewalk and skittered across the street. She felt a little better in her revenge and looked ahead, intent on getting to the beach. She could use the ocean to clean her hands if anything...

No more mishaps happened – thankfully – and she took off shoes, socks, and rolled up her pants enough to wade in to her ankles. She squatted down and stuck her skin in cold water and hissed. The pain was gone in a minute, skin slowly numbing.

She kneeled like that, staring to the line of water and sky for a while, forgetting her hands until she couldn't feel them anymore.

"You DO realize that kneeling like that without facing the populous will get you pushed into the water right?" She whipped around nearly lost her balance, but managed to stick a hand in the sand and steady herself. "Not very smart K."

She glowered a little before washing the sand off her palm and standing. "If I were you, I'd worry about me hugging you if that happened."

The two laughed as she stopped at the water's edge and shook droplets off her feet. She grinned and sat down, wishing she brought a towel. She'd have to wait until her feet dried to brush the sand off now. Green stared at her palms, seeing the bleeding stopped at least.

"What happened to you?"

Her vision jerked over and displayed her palms. "I had a run-in with the concrete. Hadn't introduced myself yet – now seemed like a prime time while I got too comfortable on my bike."

"Ouch. You're okay though?"

She smiled and leaned against the sand, staring at the sky. "No harm done. Just a little fall." She pouted. "With a rock that could put a dent in a car door."

The two giggled and a hand patted her hair. "That's what I love about you – your sarcasm never ceases."

"Har de har har Chance."

"Be nice to K sweetheart, I bet that had to hurt."

Chance stuck her tongue out and mimicked her friend's position. "You don't get to hang around the little brat like I do Marisol, you can't say that."

Chance's girlfriend snorted and followed suit in position.

A few minutes passed as other occupants of the area ran around and made noise. She let it slide over her and forgot about why she was really here. The afternoon was warm with the sun and the sand warming her too, but being near the water – with its temperatures too cold to swim in comfortably yet – gave the air a chill.

"So what're you doing here? The little bookworm actually BORED?"

She nudged Chance in the side, partially for ruining it and throwing her back to where she ought to be.

She ignored the girl's whining and stared at the sky, eyes closing soon after from the sun. "It's...nothing major." She muttered, not feeling like talking about it.

How often did she anyway?

"That doesn't SOUND like nothing much." Marisol responded, head turning. Dark eyes stared at her and were ignored. "You sound like something is bothering you."

"Nothing is bothering me."

'Much.'

"Liar." Chance mumbled, face relaxing. "I can tell from your voice that something is going on in your head, but you don't want to tell anyone – like normal."

She sent a dry look over, which didn't do much since Chance's eyes were closed.

Was she THAT easy to read? Or perhaps she didn't hide her problems carefully enough...or maybe her trauma...unless Chance was like Sam and could see her enough to know there was something wrong.

That was a sad thought right there. If she was that horrible at hiding things and people could read her that well, it was scary to see what would happen if she hung around Inaki more.

She gave a small sigh and stared at the clouds.

"I know that sigh. It's a relationship issue, isn't it?"

She looked at Marisol with slightly wide eyes. Her mouth opened, but nothing came out.

Chance's eyes opened and she sat up for a better view of her friend. "How do you know hon?" Skeptic eyes looked to her girlfriend. "She doesn't seem to be in a relationship because she would be happier than this. Unless it sucks - she's still single."

"Not all people are lucky enough to have a good relationship like you two." She muttered, propping her head up against the sand.

The two looked at each other and smiled.

"I still say it's a relationship. Doesn't have to be dating – do you know any people you have a crush on?"

She gave the Cuban an odd glance and went to shake her head. And paused.

Did Inaki count?

She sat up and pondered that. It was hard not to consider Marisol's speculation, given how much she thought about Inaki and the flowers he sent her Saturday. She found him attractive, he was funny, thoughtful, caring – though she didn't want to admit how much, good personality...

Her body froze as something in her heart pinged. She knew that fluttering and immediately groaned, flopping back on the sand. She ignored the pain and covered her face with both hands, still groaning. "No, no, no! Man, this SUCKS!"

The two stared, dumbly blinking. "What does? What's the matter?" Marisol stuttered.

"You're RIGHT - I DO have a crush on someone!" She moaned, rolling to her side. "Not good, not FAIR."

The two kept blinking. "Um...K honey...that's supposed to be a GOOD thing..." Chance got out, patting the girl's shoulder.

"No, no you don't understand. I have a crush on someone who lives forty miles in the MAINLAND. FORTY...it'll never work out! It's not fair!!"

Chance shrugged. "So? That's what Sam's car is for. How did you meet him anyway?"

"I've known him for months. And he's been down to see me all but once." She sat up and shook her head of some of the sand, brushing her arms off. Green met Chance's eyes. "You met him at the Halloween dance."

There was a breath of silence and Chance blinking. She could tell when the light bulb turned on because her friend's eyes widened twice their size. "HIM!? You've got a crush on the HUNK??" A hand gripped her arm. "And you're whining about THAT? I should think you'd be happy! You two are friends – that's an easy in right there!"

"I've met him as well then, right?" Marisol piped up, prying Chance's fingers off her friend. "Give K some breathing room sweetheart."

She smiled at the rescue and swatted Chance away. "I think so. Black hair in a ponytail – though it's normally in a braid – with brown eyes. He's a few inches taller than I am, and he was wearing a samurai costume." She grinned. "I went to a party with him at his family's house recently and there was almost fifty people wearing a lot of the same clothes! It was really cool."

"It sounds like you two are getting pretty cozy...why not think of asking him out then?" Chance asked, grinning.

She glowered. "We may be friends, but I would not use that as a way to date him for one. I'm pretty sure he likes me in that way on SOME aspect because we almost kissed twice...but I don't know for sure. I'm – I'm also not sure about that anyway." A hand rubbed her arm as she stared at the sand.

"If you have feelings for him of some kind, and you think he likes you, why not try for it?" Marisol asked, giving a kind smile.

These two had no clue to her past either, ergo didn't know why she was so hesitant to date Inaki. Even if the idea sounded minutely appealing – something she could at least get used to – part of her didn't want to make a habit of thinking that way in case her speculation turned out to be false.

"Well...there's been...crap that happened in my life...stuff with dating mostly...and it kind of scarred me to the whole idea." She mumbled, trying not to fidget. The fact that she managed to say anything, albeit totally abstract, was quite surprising.

Was it easier to tell now that she told someone who stayed?

Chance sobered a little and grasped her hand. "Crap happens to everyone honey...no one is able to get out of that." The girl gave a squeeze and reassuring smile. "You think Marisol and I had it easy? Her parents hated me in the beginning until they found out being homosexual was no big deal. They still resent me a little because they think I turned their only daughter away from men, but I think they're getting over that."

Marisol nodded and rested a hand on her shoulder. "And do you think that Chance's parents liked knowing that a Cuban – though I was born in America, just like my mother – was dating their daughter? That's a prejudice that will never go away, though we're working on it. I love Chance regardless of that, just as she does me, and we disregard our parents. They don't understand us and we understand THAT."

"You have to think past the past in order to get ahead in life K." Chance added. "I can't really lecture you about good relationships with men because the only ones I had turned me off them for the rest of my life. But with adversity comes triumph. It's the whole Chinese yin-yang thing. Depending on how much you're willing to fight for it and see it through will tell you how much you want it."

"How philosophic of you." She cracked, giving a small smile.

Chance huffed and sat back, letting go. "And here I was trying to give you advice so you'll wave those depressing clouds away and be happy!"

She giggled and leaned back on her elbows. "I know what you're saying, but a part of me is massively uncertain. I mean...forty miles. He's really great and we've already passed a few hurdles – like me meeting his family and getting to know me - but I don't know how big of a step I want to take with THAT. A relationship to me is something serious...I don't casual date."

"We don't casual date either. Together two and a half years now and still going strong." Chance's chin proudly rose and gave a loving grin over her friend. After a minute, attention was thrown to the problem at hand. "So you're so uncertain about a whim...that's understandable. Fear is a very powerful thing, but I guess you'd know that. But I'm pretty sure if you know fear, you know how to get past it or you'd not be here right now. After all, you moved away from home, into a different city, just to go to college. You moved into a house with someone you met by a flier and met her family."

Why was the best advice given through the most unexpected sources?

She looked to the sand again and took that in. So true...she moved away from the home she lived in all her life – though the relationship was nothing to defend - and met so many different people because of it. She gained Sam as a best friend, when before all she had was Sheryl at a good friend at best. She got Chance and all this lovely guidance that was helping her more than if she sat here alone.

She REALLY should do more talking about her problems to those with similar experiences...

"I get what you're saying." She muttered, twiddling her fingers. And...recently...Inaki...he – he offered to help draw me a little out of my shell. Though I haven't given him my answer yet. I keep weighing if it's a good idea or not."

"I HIGHLY suggest you take it." Chance seriously answered, face conveying her emotions. "I mean, look at you! Shoulders hunched up - fidgeting - stumbling over words! Do you REALLY want to be this way when you're a little old lady and forced to live with a dozen cats because you have no life?"

"Sweetheart!"

She grinned at the shock in Marisol's voice. "So I can be as blunt as you are, huh?" She threw back, turning a wry look to Chance.

"No one needs to be as bad as I am – ask Mar – but you could definitely improve. I think if Inaki is offering to spend so much time on you, even from a distance, that has to say how willing he is to help you find confidence."

"That also tells you how willing he is to dedicate himself to you." Marisol added. There was a smile on her face that she caught upon a glance. "Do you really think he would do something like that if he didn't care at all? I think you have your answer about him liking you."

She didn't need to deal with that aspect, though the answers being pointed out were obvious beyond a doubt. Once again, this showed how much she needed to stop thinking and start reacting more. Maybe she'd be able to see how much she was missing by trying to tear everything apart to rationalize.

So she had the answer then...and it didn't even come to her on her own. She trusted her friends and their judgments, even if some of them had no tact.

Fingers pressed together as the familiar vein of dread hit. The unknown loomed, but Chance and Marisol made it seem as inviting as Inaki did. She had that want to change, though her tongue was frozen of saying the words out loud and admitting it vocally.

It was scary...but as Marisol said, if Inaki was willing...who was she to give up on something he probably wouldn't keep offering? There was no way she'd be able to go as far as she probably needed to on her own, not with as many times as she kept wimping out.

She would give it a try...but she was NOT going to think about him in connection with dating, for a while at least. She didn't need that on her plate with the upcoming venture. If what Marisol said was true, it would be true. She would keep an eye on it; though try to keep disbelief out of her observation. If Inaki liked her, she would find a way to deal with that when the time came.

Though the skeptic part of her mind immediately scoffed that he would be interested in her enough to want to date her.

Her feet were more than dry and she dusted off what still stuck to them before going for her shoes and socks. "Well...it's been highly informative. I honestly don't know what I would've done if you two hadn't been here." She stood and offered hands to stand. "Thank you for that. I have to get home now and write a letter."

Marisol gave her a hug and squeeze. "Good luck."

She smiled and backed away. "I'm going to need it."

Not even halfway to her bike, Chance's voice piped up. "Just remember not to chicken out!!" She called.

She laughed when Marisol's voice cut into her hearing directly afterward with a chastement.

Singer: Selena Title: Bidi bidi bom bom


	36. Ch 36

"Hey look a ghost!"

"Don't make me laugh."

"I think that glower of yours is good enough at least. You've got something on your nose."

She smiled, but didn't look away from her original goal to check. She was determined to get through this the winner. "That was a little more original than your last one anyway. But you'll have to try something else."

"Sheesh, you're getting good." Silence. "Oh look - a spider."

She gave a bored look. "That's better than your other attempts, but you won't get me to look away. I'm going to win this time!"

"Well I commend you for trying, but there really IS a spider on your right arm."

"WHERE?!" She jerked back and looked to her arm, hand already swatting at the long sleeve. There was nothing there and she paused, slowly looking to brown with a glare as a high-pitched beep sounded. "Not. Funny."

"Beg to differ." He stuttered, snickering. He roped it in because her glare worsened to actual dislike standards instead of just play. "Have to praise you though...you're getting better with not looking away."

"Well you were right in saying that staring contests are the only way to go." She fought not to look away with that one, though she made a lot of progress in the past month as it was. She gave a smile and slid off Jayden's futon to stretch. "How long was that one?"

"Before you freaked on the spider thing?" He grinned when she glared again and looked to his stopwatch. "Ten minutes, seven seconds. Going for a record K."

She felt like blushing at his praise, though it wasn't necessary. "Whoop-de-do, ten minutes. I'll accept that I'm doing any kind of progress when I can stare at someone for half an hour."

"Ah, but staring is not polite. We're only doing this to get you to stop looking away." She looked away with a roll of her eyes. "Like that."

"I wasn't embarrassed OR shy that time!" She retorted, plopping down on his bed. After crossing her legs, she used her knees and fists to prop her head up. "Just annoyed."

He smiled. "Right..." A thumb cleared the stopwatch and he held it up. "Care to try again?"

Her lips pursed in thought. "I dunno...I've had enough of looking into your eyes." She retorted, smirking.

He scowled for a bit before putting on a charming grin and leaning a little close. "I can't say the same for you though..."

She promptly blushed as bad as she used to – what she still hadn't been able to fully beat – and looked to a finger that tapped on his spread in a fidget.

"Strike one, two, and three." He announced, grabbing the digit. He pulled her hand in the air and wagged it a little in her face. "Though you look cute when you blush, I thought we worked on that."

Her face heated up a little more at how flirtatious he was being, but managed to pull her hand away from his. "I'm going to ignore that...you flirt."

It lacked any sting and he knew it, mostly by the blush that hadn't left and the way she wouldn't look at him. He couldn't help but smile. She was adorable shy, but the fire that roamed free after she put her mind to letting him help gained a pride toward her progress he hadn't felt with Cam or others.

It had been one hell of a month, but it sure was memorable. Of course they hadn't had much time to hang out with her being so busy, but it was the weekends when he had any time to break her 'new' personality in.

He managed to wheedle her to come up with him to his house, mostly because they couldn't really do anything with the staring contests with Sam 'suddenly' popping out of nowhere and making comments about how it was the perfect time for one of them to slip a kiss. The girl was a genius and good sneak, he had to admit, but even with her help and not-so-subtle hints, K was not going to give in like that.

If there was a way to get her to date him, it wouldn't be easy.

His emotions hadn't lessened any during his realization, and it was hard to keep them in check. At least playful times like these made it easier to flirt and give an excuse that it was a way to get her to loosen a tad and open up.

"What say we get some food?" He suggested, clicking the stopwatch to the watch portion. "It's been a while, and I'm hungry."

She smiled. "You just want to sneak a rice ball before lunch." She quipped, poking him in the shoulder.

A hand whipped out and grasped her by the wrist with a sly look. "And who says a certain SOMEONE will keep her hands off of the sushi before tonight?"

Her lips pursed as she fought not to be embarrassed, even if she HAD snuck a piece the last time she was up for the day and he caught her. "You told me we were eating lunch and so I saved room because you people cook better than even **I **do. I was hungry and didn't want to be rude and ask to eat something before everyone else." She pulled a little to get her hand back, but his grip didn't loosen. "You weren't supposed to catch me."

He grinned and strengthened his hold, tugging a bit as well. "We make enough for three or four a person. ONE of us would've noticed if someone at the table didn't have equal. And I was standing a few feet away. Not very smart."

She tugged harder, trying to keep from smiling. A hand planted itself on the blanket for leverage. "I'll remember that. Next time I create a diversion to get your attention off me long enough to chew and swallow."

"We'd still know. And who do you think made that batch you stole from?"

Her tongue stuck out as if she had something bad. "KNEW it tasted a little funny." She tugged again, this time harder than before. "You can let go now."

"No can do. You just insulted my cooking." He tried to pout, but that was hard with as good as a mood he was suddenly in. "I was trained by the elders and okaasan. You insult them AND me you know."

"Then I shall go apologize to them for the crass remark. So let go."

He snorted and gave her wrist a little squeeze. "I'll let go right after you apologize to ME first. You accuse badly – yurushimasen." He kidded, yanking hard enough to pull her to him.

Massive pressure and shifting her legs was the only thing that kept her from falling on him. Whatever he was trying to accomplish or do, it was getting annoying. "This is losing its fun you know. You can let go any time."

"So now I'm boring?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" She growled. Her free hand moved and wrapped around his to try and pry his fingers loose. "You'd better let go before you cut the circulation from my fingers."

His other hand responded in kind and fought with hers to keep from freeing his hold. "I'm careful. You've still got plenty of breathing room. Trust me; with my experience in Kempo, I could snap your wrist right now with the angle I have it at."

She gave him a bored look. "Stop being so smug. And let go!"

"If you can make me grasshopper, I shall grant you infinite wisdom to top your sarcasm."

She giggled at that and moved her legs to balance herself and tried to twist her wrist free. He seemed to know that one and grasped her forearm to keep her from moving too far.

"Nice trick, but I know one better." With a sly grin, he let go of her arm and directed it to her sides.

She shrieked and jerked backward – not a good thing as she was at the edge of the bed already. His hold kept her from falling backward, even though it was only about a foot from the floor and the fall wouldn't hurt that bad.

"Satanic!" She squealed through laughter, foregoing her trapped hand to grab his and stop his tirade. "You're horrible to me!"

He snorted when she latched onto his wrist the same way he was now. "You underestimate me onna." With a simple twist – his strength surpassing hers – he freed it and grabbed her other wrist. He steadied himself on the bed and pushed her forward until she was precariously leaning over the edge. He smirked when surprised green met him. "NOW what're you going to do?"

Her brain froze for a second as she took in the position. He was practically leaning over her legs and all but holding her hands. It was a more intimate than she thought this simple tug-of-war would turn into and couldn't help a small blush.

But the answer to his question was easy. Copying his evil look, her head leaned back and stared at the doorway upside-down. "Kekoy-san! Help!"

Brown widened in shock as a voice sounded down the hall through the cracked door. "Not fair!" He whined, immediately pulling her back up. He made sure she was able to sit without teetering over before letting go of her wrists. He sat back and sulked. "You always run to hisofusan - that's cheating!"

She shook her head to get the blood rush gone and twisted as the door mildly creaked open. "Did I hear my name and the call for assistance?"

She smiled. "Kekoy-san, he was being mean again." A thumb jerked to the sheepish person behind her. She cast a look to her wrist and went to rub it. "Geez, you left red marks too."

Kekoy's brow ticked in curiosity as brown stared into brown. "Himagomusuko...are you ever going to stop picking on the poor girl?"

"Yea!" She echoed, sending a mirthful look. "Stop picking on the poor girl."

He sent a playful glare her way and ignored the old man in the doorway. "You're going to get it later." He lightly threatened, sending a smile that didn't speak anything of his intent.

She mistook it for his trademark charming grin and the hand rubbing her wrist paused. A shiver ran through her and she mentally slapped herself at feeling a burn low in her body.

"So what was it about this time?"

"THIS time?? It doesn't even happen that often and SHE started it!"

She raised a brow and gave him a bored look. "YOU were the one that grabbed my wrist."

"And you made a stupid comment."

"Well you were being a DORK."

"And YOU wouldn't apologize!"

"Mou ii." Kekoy piped up. His arms folded a little in irritation. "You're both adults – act like it. And get downstairs to help with lunch like the others have."

"Can do Kekoy-san." She scooted to the edge of the bed as the old man turned and left the room. With an evil look, she shifted close to Inaki's face and ignored his surprise. "I won." She whispered, quickly heading for the door.

His shock at her getting so close to his face offset her words and it took a second for his body to move and brain to connect that she left him behind. Just as her form passed the archway, he jumped off the bed. "You did NOT!" He denied, following in pursuit. He jogged to catch up and hopped the stairs when she turned for the kitchen. "Come here you little liar!"

Arms wrapped around her waist and she gasped. She jumped and combined with the sudden motion, teetered. Hands flailed as best they could while she was in his arms – which she didn't register with the table ready to greet her face.

He didn't mean to offset her, more like grabbing her by the waist and swinging her away from the kitchen, which was her goal. But he couldn't get his footing either by being taller and it was inevitable that his blunder turned to be their downfall – literally. He managed to twist himself to keep from hurting her and miss the table as well.

They landed on tatami in between the counter and table, both breathing hard. His arms were still around her waist and her upper body covered his. Her head was cradled at the edge of his chest, buried in his shirt, but she didn't dare raise her head. She feared who was watching – or in the near vicinity – and couldn't look him in the eye.

"...Ow."

"You started THAT one mister...that was not me." She muttered, flexing her muscles to see what hurt.

"Thank you for that reminder. You succeeded in helping me break my spine."

She grinned and managed to look up, finding his face a little pain-laced. Her humor dimmed a little and she looked at him in concern. "Are you really hurt?"

He gave a small grin and slowly sat up, helping her to as well. "A single fall like that? I've landed on the wood in my dojo outside before. This is nothing."

She grinned and ran fingers through shoulder blade length hair to straighten it. "So...just being a baby then?" His fingers lashed out for her sides and she squeaked, trying to bat him away. "Stop that!"

"Eh? Nani desu ka?" He kidded, grinning. His fingers kept up their attack and dodged her hands. "Eigo o boku wakarimasen."

She couldn't scoot back because she was already sitting on her feet. She leaned back as far as possible without falling over and without use of her hands. "I'll...yell for...Kekoy-san again..." She gasped.

"Do and you don't get to help with lunch." He threatened.

That didn't seem like much of a threat to an outsider, but she always tried to pull her own weight when she was over. It was an independence thing, but it was also a guest thing. K didn't want to take advantage of anyone in any way and kept mentioning that when the others told her she didn't need to be helping.

"Aw come on! I'd feel like a loafer. STOP IT - you're going to make me wet my pants!" She squealed.

"Ew! Not much of a come on you know." He kidded, balancing on his elbow as he leaned forward. She somehow managed to scoot back and shift her legs out from under her, though she was too busy laughing to know she could use them to stop him or to get away and possibly lock herself in the lower level bathroom.

She was very pretty when she laughed, and she had such nice laughter. He couldn't help but torture her, because telling jokes only got her to laugh so much. And she never gave such pure, heartfelt laughter as she was doing now.

Neither noticed how he was practically hovering over her again, though it certainly came to their attention when a voice loudly, and pointedly, cleared their throat.

"You two are noisy enough for the neighbors to hear you. The tv only goes up so loud, so would you keep it down or busy yourselves with lunch??"

Brown looked into youthful brown of his sister and blushed when he looked into green. Jayden didn't look happy with being interrupted, but that didn't enter his mind when he looked at his prisoner.

She was weak from laughing so much, and her chest was heaving. Her face was red, this time from her beautiful laughter, and there was a sparkle in her eyes – along with playful annoyance.

She broke the stare and looked down, finding him close, and her eyes promptly widened.

She quickly scooted backward, not caring about rug burns, and clasped her hands together. "Sorry about that Jayden-san."

"That's alright...and again, I tell you to call me Jayden-CHAN."

She gave a sheepish smile, eyes pointedly looking away from Inaki. "Sorry about that, Jayden-chan."

With a satisfied nod, mirthful eyes spearing her brother, Jayden turned for the steps as a grin sprouted.

He thought he heard her breathe 'young love' before she was out of sight, and blushed a tad. As if his face wasn't red enough from exertion, he had that little reminder to help.

Remind him how his body was almost covering K's.

He promptly stood and shook his head in the process to cover it. He extended a hand to the ground and helped her to her feet, glad she wasn't too embarrassed to touch him after what just happened. She had grown enough for that and he was glad. "What say we get started on lunch." He mumbled, putting up a small grin.

"You DEFINITELY got us in trouble with that last one." She mumbled, following him to the stove. She was trying to get her heart rate under control and adrenaline to recede.

This had happened a lot more recently and she was wondering if it was because Inaki was expressing his feelings, or if she was allowing it to happen by being more open and less tense about physical contact. It could be both, but she doubted her first assumption was correct. Though she told herself she was going to study him during her time with him, it was hard not to be pessimistic about someone as nice and almost perfect as him.

"I did not."

She blinked and grabbed the wood spoon he shoved into her hands. "Did too." She returned, grabbing the handle to a lidded pot.

"Did not." He went for the knives and pulled one from the set to chop the awaiting vegetables to add.

"Did too." She stirred the broth and nodded its readiness to finish off. Along the way, Inaki gave her cooking tips on a few easy dishes she had, though she hadn't the time to try them herself yet.

"Did not." He grasped a handful of diced vegetables and dropped them in.

"Did too." She stirred everything and stepped away when broth splashed her as he dropped another handful in.

It was like a tennis match with no hard feelings involved. Their voices didn't change pitch, but sped up in answer time until it was repetitive.

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Not."

"Too."

"You two sound like a noisy train clacking along a rail."

Both heads whipped over to the archway of the family room as Mamorah stood with a disapproving look.

They sheepishly looked to the task at hand until she snorted and passed into a different part of the house. There was a bit of silence before a smile bloomed on her face. "I got the last word." She whispered.

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Not."

"Too."

"Damare!"

She didn't know what that meant, not retaining any of the vocabulary for the few times she was over, but Inaki cringed and immediately clamped his mouth shut from an answer. She grinned, knowing she got the final word again and giggled. He scowled and waved a finger in her face as a threat, but she just stuck her tongue out.

The family sat outside, bundled in blankets and shawls, watching the sun set on the front engawa. Each had a mug of hot green tea in their hands.

It was Shunbun no hi - Vernal Equinox Day where they took time out to observe the beauty around them as the day lengthened and remember those long gone.

At least that's what she was told by Inaki when he shoved an afghan in her arms and told her they were going to the front porch.

It was a little chilly at night to do this, but the sky was clear and the sun had painted a brilliant rendition of blended colors and she couldn't stay inside. The family air surrounding her kept her rooted as well, and she became a little wistful as she stared and used the heat from her mug to warm her hands.

This reminded her of times when the Merths would sit out front and take in the neighborhood. She always felt apart of their world because they made her feel welcome. It was the same with the Yamois.

A soft smile appeared as she sipped some of the steaming brew and moved the string holding the bag out of the way. She loved spending time here as much as she did in the other house. This was like her second home away from the Merths.

Her brow furrowed a tiny degree. Funny...she always thought the Merth house was her second home away from home, Sam and her's being the first. She didn't count the house she grew up in because there was nothing there to call it a home. But in the matter of a few visits to a place a little out of the way, she began to feel home HERE. Such a large family, yet they accepted her as readily as the Merths did.

Her eyes closed as her smile widened. Such caring, thoughtful people. Did they really know how much that meant for her to be part of a family? She could never relay her gratitude or emotion she felt in words because words wouldn't do it justice. She was never very good with things like that anyway.

A finger slowly tracing a line across the top of her hand jolted her to the real world and she blinked, gaze whipping to her right. She met a pair of wondering, soft brown eyes and gave a small, conscious smile. He seemed to see through it by the dent to his brow and the chill of his hand touched her skin when it covered hers in comfort.

Her face heated up as teeth bit her lip. There was a gentle grip to her fingers when his slipped in between skin and engawa, palm turning so they touched. Her smile widened as she quickly took a sip of her tea to keep from meeting his eyes.

He knew what she was doing. It was obvious, and not because he saw it enough in the past month. She was nervous about his closeness, at least at a level like this, but he didn't let go of her hand. He didn't want her to be shy around him like that – not when the idea of getting her to the point where he could ask her out filled his mind more than before.

The feeling of loneliness ebbed a lot with this mission. His being able to kid around her like he wanted helped even more. He feared he was ignoring his friends and some of his work by spending most of his free time with her, but could care less. This was a whole other side he was seeing, and he wanted to see as much of it as he could.

She entranced him the more they spent time together. Her smiles and laughter...the courage and determination he hadn't glimpsed in full detail, not before the letter she sent saying she would let him help and vowed to not screw it up.

His thumb absently rubbed over her skin as he stared at her, getting her eyes soon after when she realized he wouldn't look away. His eyes were soft and there was the smallest of smiles on his lips. He looked very handsome like that – very alluring with his hair unbound in a rare moment to use it for heat.

She took a quick peek to the back of his neck and found a few tendrils had slid forward over a shoulder and swallowed hard. The warmth and emotion in her chest hit her hard again and she wanted to shake from the intensity. There was just...something about him - especially with his hair down! – that attracted her so much that she couldn't help herself.

He leaned forward a few inches from his spot, which wasn't that far away to begin with. How or when that happened he didn't know, but it didn't matter when he spotted the blood red rays reflecting off her eyes. "Cold?" He muttered.

She rapidly blinked a few times. Cold?? Hell no! Not with the way he was making her face heat up, not to mention her body –

She mentally shook herself.

"N – not...really..." She mumbled, looking to their hands. "Why do you ask?"

If they had the attention of the others, he didn't register it. "Your hand is freezing."

"So is yours." She dumbly retorted back. Her skin tingled with his touch, breath hitching in her throat when his cup set on the wood with a quiet clack and took hers to do the same. He gently took both hands in his and rubbed them to warm them up.

His action was chivalrous, even if he didn't need to do that...ESPECIALLY when he cupped her hands as much as possible and blew on them! The feel of his breath on her skin made her heart work double and she forgot how to breathe. Wide, unblinking green remained locked on their hands.

He smiled at how flustered she was. Whether she would admit it or not, she was cold. Her hands were, even the one holding her glass. He was a little glad, considering he got to do this with a motive without being too obvious.

The shaking of her hands offset him a little, but by looking in her eyes, she certainly didn't seem to be shaking in the same way he saw a few months ago. Was this from cold? Or perhaps a different emotion?

Whatever it was, it was intense...as was marked by her eyes.

He swallowed. He couldn't break the stare...couldn't let go of her hands. They were small enough to fit in his – he suddenly noticed this – quite nicely. Her skin was smooth compared to his calluses from weapons' practice and work in the store and he wanted to run his hands over them. It was almost a physical force he had to deny to keep from doing so.

But he wanted to hold her again. He was being rather selfish lately by being so touchy-feely, though with a reaction like this, she didn't seem to mind too much. She had yet to say anything or take her hands away, so he knew she wasn't angry.

"That's not going to help." He muttered, finally letting go. With a quick look to the location of their mugs, he gradually shifted closer and moved the blanket that was haphazardly draped over his shoulder. He clutched it in a hand and slowly moved it over her shoulder, along with his arm.

She couldn't help but tense a little - mind wondering what the hell was going on - when his arm slowly eased pressure onto her shoulders. She stared at a place over his shoulder in utter shock. Forgetting to breathe was not an issue, though the speed of her heart was. It was going to burst from her body and head for the sun set if she didn't try to calm down.

But as fast as her heart was racing, so too was the emotion that surged when he took her hands in his.

She finally relaxed when he didn't move, though it took an act of will to do so. His arm around her felt nice and the emotions he invoked when he scooted close enough to keep it comfortably there made her melt.

"Much better." He whispered, smiling a little. It was just like some of the other times he held her. She was tense, and probably a little baffled, but with patience and tenderness, she relaxed to normal. He went back to staring at the sunset, seeing her head turn to do the same out of the corner of his eye. His head completed the adorable picture by leaning over enough to rest his cheek against her hair.

A silly smile appeared and she bit her lip to try and force it down. There was little success and she reached for her glass for something to do. She went for his as well because he wouldn't be able to get it without removing his arm...and gained his fingers when they brushed against hers.

She was trembling again, but it wasn't in any major way. He could only tell because there was so much contact. It didn't really concern him as much as it interested him. What was that from? She couldn't still be cold because he was getting quite a bit of body heat from the afghan around her back.

He had to take back his assessment of her temperature now...

She calmed a little the more they sat like that – even in front of the family, who seemed to have no objections – and relaxed a little more. She leaned toward him a few inches and he only tightened his hold on her.

Her heart fluttered, but her eyes closed to savor it. This was nice. She hadn't something so sweet and simple since...Eugene wasn't it? The motion yes...but with feeling...probably back to Arthur.

'Two years.' She realized. 'I need to get out more.'

A small smile reached her lips as a hand reached up on its own violation and lightly touched his.

His heart picked up again and breathing stopped. His fingers opened and entwined their hands with her help. A smile made its way to his face and after a second, his head removed far enough to press a soft, lingering kiss to her hair. He smelled vanilla and inhaled.

Her eyes fluttered closed at contact and her body burned, but her mind ruined the mood by wondering just what they were doing. Was this some way to get her to be bolder in front of an audience – which his family was a GREAT tester crowd – or was he doing it because it was all him?

She had her answer when his hand squeezed enough to be noticeable and a shiver raced up her spine. She couldn't help but give a tiny return squeeze before her brain got involved.

This was too nice to think about, but it was hard not to. They were sitting on the porch – regardless of the others – watching the sun set with his arm around her and holding hands! He kissed her hair and even smelled it! She noticed that, which was kind of hard NOT to when he did it right over her ear.

What did this mean? The whole thing since he tried to warm her hands couldn't really be considered buddy-buddy because she could tell a few times during her scrutiny when his actions in the past were more than friendship. So what did this make it now? Was he acting on whatever emotions he had for her, or was he just trying to keep her from getting cold so she could finish the sunset?

She wanted to shake her head and dismiss it all while she was in a very nice moment, one she would remember and cherish for a while to come. She didn't want to think right now and just feel, mostly because she didn't do enough of feeling as it was. Alienating herself to save her heart was not helping her in the long run, and this little bit made her feel something so intense it made her want to cry.

How was it that she was THAT deprived of physical touch? She didn't shy away when Sam or the Merths touched her. She hadn't when Jayden or the others hugged her or their hands bumped together.

But she never felt like this with any of them.

This emotion was more than friendship, this could clearly be classified with emotions she had for all the boyfriends she ever dated since high school. It was scary to realize, but she couldn't lie to herself with such intense proof she had. She WAS feeling this and knew her emotions, even if she denied them a lot.

There was no denying the situation. Whatever was going on with her, and whatever it was Inaki had in his head, was something that needed to get sorted out. Whether by talk or by thought, it needed to get figured out so she knew what the rules were of this new boundary.

As much as she wanted to stay in his arms all night – regardless of what was behind it for meaning – she didn't want to look too much into it without knowing what was going on in his head, and how much she should expect it in the future.

They would talk when she got the chance – and courage – to do so, so she figured this out.

And it would get figured out SOON.

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Yurushimasen-Unforgivable/I won't forgive Nani desu ka?-What is it? Eigo o boku wakarimasen-I don't understand English

Damare-Stop talking/Be quiet **(kind of like uresai & yakamashii)**


	37. Ch 37

_"I know you don't understand college life because you've never really got into it, but this is IMPORTANT."_

_"So is this."_

_"Not as bad as studying for semesters!"_

_"Tests come and go, but if you aren't strong enough to handle life in the end, all the tests you take aren't going to help you out."_

_There was almost a stony silence before the barest of sighs sounded. "I. Have. To. Study."_

_More silence accompanied that and it seemed she would get away with a weekend of solo time for something that mattered as much as what she was spending quite a bit of time on lately. The week gave no time to herself with as busy as she was, and her only free time was mostly spent with Inaki._

_"Don't you do enough studying as it is?"_

_She heaved a sigh and scowled. "I have classes that need my attention – I am not paying to slack off in them."_

_"I'm not saying you do...I was just mentioning that you do quite a bit. Don't you study during the week as it is? Take a break once in a while."_

_Her jaw clenched as a hand clutched the phone. "I DO take a break. May I remind you that for over an entire MONTH, my weekends after work have gone to you?"_

_"And I think we've made some good headway too. But you're still a long ways away from being as good as me."_

_A smile tilted her mouth into a smirk. Her head dropped as she plopped down onto the mattress, hand propping her head up. "You're not going to give in until you get your way are you?"_

_"It's only a few hours!" He exclaimed. "What is more important to you? Getting your life back – which I'll remind you that YOU allowed me to start – or a little bit of studying?"_

_The stony silence returned. "You cannot POSSIBLY make me decide something that important." She bit out._

_"Pllleasseee?" He drawled, using as youthful a voice as possible. "If necessary...we can use some of your books and I can think up a few scenarios for studying in the meantime. What do you say?"_

_"I don't retain well with distractions." She denied._

_There was no getting out of this, she knew there wasn't. With Inaki, when he got an idea in his head, it was best not to put up a struggle._

_Too bad she was too stubborn about her grades to give in that easily._

_"Well then we can test your abilities."_

_His happy-go-lucky attitude was rather annoying when right now all she wanted was a little stability in her life. Her brain picked apart that Sunday all week in classes and she was lucky to even be able to take NOTES. Now was the time to study and try to pick up what she could, otherwise she was not going to finish this set with high marks like the others._

_She didn't question his actions and had gone along with them, taking comfort in the contact he gave. She missed it and allowed herself to get drawn in. After she left and the next morning rolled around, she realized exactly what she let happen._

_She let herself start to get attached._

_Never again, she swore. She'd do whatever it took to keep from another Arthur to drive her to near death. She'd come so close that day and had seen the light. Now she'd do whatever it took to keep from getting to that point ever again._

_Even if it meant she kept her distance from love. For there was always the possibility of change – as she was proving to herself – and love to dwindle._

_"K?"_

_He startled her out of frustration and self-anger enough to remind herself she was quite tightly clenching her fist again. She let go and shook her hand to take the sting out and looked to her palm._

_There were more purple gouges there._

_She pulled the phone away and took a deep breath. A month, but that was not going to alter a lifetime of what she was. She resolved to help herself, but it was times like these when she didn't know how much good it would do. If she DID become different, it just meant the darkness would become even darker and hide even better._

_"Kalie...are you there?"_

_She didn't know what fetish he had for being so pestering, or why he seemed to care about her, but it was times like these when he didn't give up to give her some space was when he got annoying. She wanted to push him away in spite...even if she wouldn't mean it. It was those things that kept her from having friends._

_But the anger in her life wanted an outlet and when it got to this boiling point, she didn't care who it was directed to._

_"It's...nothing." She tightly answered, standing to pace. She had to hold this in or release it in the only way she could right now...OTHER than biting his head off._

_"Sounds like something. Don't try to fool me – I've spent enough time around you to know when you hide something. What's wrong?"_

_Know her? He didn't know her! One month was all he had the real chance of being around her. What gave him the mindset to say what he did?_

_"Nothing is wrong." She repeated. "I – why can't you – I need –" She paused and put a hand over her mouth. Spouting useless words...she needed to take a few seconds and gather her thoughts!_

_Silence accompanied her fumbling. If he was trying to find words as she did, they would both be trying for a while._

_She slumped to the floor and scooted back to lean against the frame. Green blinked at the ceiling for a while, hearing breathing on the other line._

_Finally, he answered. "You can tell me anything that is going on with you, you know." He reminded. "Good or bad and you know I won't judge you. You know I don't like to judge others. Have I ever given you reason not to trust me?"_

_Her shoulders sagged, but her jaw remained tight. 'Lashed out quite well with THAT one didn't you? Well...you effectively killed the wind in his sails.' She retorted._

_"No." She muttered. "But this is FINALS weeks. You know how important grades are to me. I need to study. As much as you think my new life is bigger, it's not. What I learn is going to determine the rest of my life as much as how I act. You need to understand that."_

_There was a small pause. "I DO understand that K...but I ALSO know why you study so hard. You haven't gotten away from that, but you have to get out of the habit of running to hide in books to avoid embracing life or you won't be able to be the person I know you can be. You need to understand THAT. Do you think – even with a college degree – you'll get anywhere if no one feels you can loosen up or allow others to get close to you?"_

_There was a small urge to hit something. She knew he was right and that's why she wanted to take her anger out on something what couldn't fight back. Battling wits and words with him was not going to get her alone. He was not going to let her; especially now when he knew something was wrong._

_"How I act is not an issue on the job. I won't be a prankster just because it'll make other people laugh."_

_There was tension through the line, but also sadness she could detect. As if he was...disappointed? But over what?_

_"All this time... I know it's not much, but I would've hoped you'd take to heart SOMETHING..."_

_She looked to the floor, feeling embarrassed and guilty. It wasn't like this was anything big...it was just something she thought would help her to keep from letting herself fall again. But yet she allowed herself to be this way. She was feeling guilty...and she felt like apologizing..._

_Her body froze, but an unmistakable anger – one normally reserved for Arthur and the others that hurt her – clenched her fist into painful proportions again._

_Her tongue felt as forked as a snake's and with fangs to boot. She wanted nothing more than to verbally sink them into him to make him feel as bad as she was right now. Whether or not he knew what he was making her feel she didn't know, but she was tired of feeling this way!_

_"It's only been a month." She answered, feeling detached and emotionless. "And we've only got together on the weekends. That right there counts more like two weeks. You've taught me a little more how to meet people's eyes and stop blushing so bad is all. That little bit of time is not going to change me."_

_"K?"_

_Her eyes misted as she inhaled a shaky breath. "I'm not asking for much here – just a simple day to get me back on track. I've been distracted all week and I haven't been able to concentrate on schoolwork like I should. I keep thinking about something pertaining to you and how I should solve it."_

_"K..."_

_"If you know me as you say, then you know I don't decide anything willingly. I have to understand what I say - I have to plan what I say. That's who I am and that's who I'll probably always be. If I change for the better, this will always stay with me."_

_"Kalie...I –"_

_Her grip on the phone tightened. Somewhere in her mind, she realized not only was she lashing out, but she was spewing thoughts from her mind that hadn't been said before this call. Other than her big spill the first time, she hadn't spilled any emotional grief._

_"I never ask from much for people. I'm not asking much from you. But here you are, not giving in and bending a little...and making me feel horrible. I feel like I HAVE to let you come over so we can spend MORE time on changing me. Well I'd like a little time to myself for once! It seems like I NEVER get time to myself. I don't want to feel this way! I just want to study. I've got tests to study for Inaki. Let me study for them."_

_She blinked as a scorching trail down her cheek was felt and quickly wiped it away. She quickly forced her emotions down a little – crying was only going to make her worse than she was and then she wouldn't be able to speak._

_Her eyes squeezed shut when silence over the line increased. The dead air buzzed in her ears and she mentally berated herself. She'd gone and hurt him...just like she wanted. And now she felt twice as bad and like she should hurt herself in return to make up for it._

_"Kalie...why...how did...when did this happen?" Green slowly fluttered open as she stared at the wall in confusion. What did he mean by that? "You...when did you slip? I thought things were going so well...you improved before my eyes. I thought I was succeeding and helping you feel good about yourself...so you didn't have to feel this way..."_

_Tears increased and her vision swam. The feeling of guilt increased._

_It hadn't been as long as he surmised. He hadn't helped her as much as he thought he had. Was she resisting him deep down and only pretending to be helped? It was unclear, because many of the laughs and smiles she shared were genuine and she honestly had fun times with him._

_But it all went wrong that night he held her._

_She wasn't to that point where she would allow herself to get close. Getting touchy feely with anyone raised her hackles and she pushed them away in any way she could. That would probably be the last thing she had to work on, and that would be the worst thing to overcome. She had so much to lose with that aspect...allowing Inaki in would probably be the biggest test of her life._

_"I'm coming over. You can't be alone right now."_

_She jumped and a rather sharp sense of panic hit her. "What?? No, no you –"_

_"No arguments. This needs to get worked out. If you slip, I just need to help you back up."_

_"Inaki?? No – no you shouldn't -"_

_There was a grave click on the other end. Wide green stared at the cordless, unable to think of a way to find reason in this._

_Inaki was coming over. He was going to see her like this. He was going to look into her eyes and find all the anger and pain she was feeling._

_"Oh...oh god...oh god no!" She urgently whispered, quickly standing. Panic increased as she paced a little. She couldn't let him see her like this...she would feel like a disappointment to him. He tried so hard! She allowed him to help her and swore to herself she would get better! She didn't want a confrontation with him. Not now!_

_The beeping of the phone still on jolted her and helped to calm her a tad. She picked it up and blankly stared at it before clicking it off._

_What did she do now?_

She heaved a sigh and gripped her knees tighter.

Twenty minutes ago. Inaki would be halfway here by now, with no way to contact him to talk him out of it and apologize for being such a bitch.

Her forehead thudded on her knees. 'You are SUCH a moron! Why did you go and blow up like that?? Had you kept it friendly, and been a LITTLE serious, he might have relented! Idiot!'

She sighed again and rested her head on her knees, returning to staring at the wall as she did after she turned off the phone.

The scenario kept repeating itself in her head and there were so many different ways she knew of now to redo it with better outcomes. But there was no way to change it now and it was best she prepare for his arrival and to think up a damn good apology and way to dismiss it as if it were nothing.

A very quiet knock sounded and her head jerked over. She stared with wide eyes, not wanting Sam to see her like this. Hands swiped over her face to make sure nothing of before was still visible before she moved. "Yea?"

Sam's head peeked through with a small smile. "Hey... I heard you yelling a little while ago from downstairs. Something the matter?"

She watched the girl edge in and felt bad for making EVERYONE feel bad. A hand scratched her head in disguise so she could look away from concerned blue. "Ah, yea...sorry about that. Inaki was being too persistent about wanting to hang out again. I've got semesters to study for, but he didn't seem to get that."

Sam smiled and stopped at the edge of the bed. "You two are hanging out quite a bit recently. Is there something I should know?"

The matchmaking scene was NOT something she needed right now. Inaki's emotions toward her were the reason she attacked him and he was coming over!

She looked up and glared. "We are NOT dating if that's what you mean. I really wish you would stop trying to fix me up with him!"

Sam plopped down, ignorant of her friend's attitude, and clasped her hands. "But he's so CUTE! And funny, and thoughtful, and well-built..." Sam gave a dreamy smile and sigh.

Her head slowly shook when the blonde fell to her mattress. Her lips curved a little, humor healing the gap she felt whenever she was this way. "If you've got such a crush on him, YOU go after him."

A hand waved off her proposal. "It'd never work out. He's not interested in me in the least and I'm not his type." Sam pouted and pretended to cry. "It's SO not fair! He has me ready to fall into his arms, but yet he wants you and only you! What do you have that I don't??"

She looked away and solemnly stared at the wall. Besides angst...what indeed? She often wondered that with ANY guy she dated, but after a while let it go. If they saw something, they saw something she couldn't and it was best she stop trying to look. It had to be a guy thing she figured, but with Inaki different than the others she dated, she had to wonder again...and this time, she didn't let it go.

"I have no clue." She finally mumbled, flopping back as well. "He has me so damn confused. I never knew he was so touchy-feely, but he is and I can't handle that. He held me last Sunday and now I don't know WHAT he feels –"

There was a gasp and happy cry before her hands were snatched up and shaken rather wildly.

"You never told me THAT!" A playful swat was given to her shoulder. "You little sneak! What's the big idea in keeping something so important from me?? I'm your best friend – that means I get dibs on boy-talk when they come on to you!"

Green blinked through a rather odd look. "You're so strange, sometimes I fear for my safety."

Sam giggled and faced her friend. "At any rate, this is good news – DAMN good news! It seems you may be distant by the look in your eyes, but Inaki sure is warming up to you. I see you're going for the tried-and-true hard-to-get approach."

She gave a bored look and turned her head away. "I am NOT doing that crap! I don't want Inaki like that. He and I are friends and I won't change that. I've got too much on my plate with college and life as it is to be doing another botched failure of dating."

There was no retort back and after a minute, she looked over and found an even expression greeting her. Sam was rarely silent in this way and it unnerved her, mostly because something was going on in the girl's head.

She sat up and looked away again, eyes locking on the books she wished to plow through. The hours were wasting away and she was using up perfectly good time. "It's not a big deal with me anyway. I can't stop Inaki if he has feelings of some kind for me, but I won't encourage them. He offered to help me out of my shell and I accepted, but other than that, we're just friends."

"Then he's doing a poor job of trying to help you."

Brown swished as her head whipped over. "Say what?? We've been at it for a month and I've made at least SOME progress."

Sam humorlessly snorted. "Then it's not him – it's you." A finger pointed her way. "I've seen you pessimistic before, and right now you're at your finest. Do you HONESTLY think you'll be able to change unless you get rid of this side of your life?? They won't hurt you anymore K – when is that going to sink in so you can get on with your life??"

Her defenses immediately rose and she looked away again. "I know that. But I don't know what the future will bring. How do I know what will happen in a year or two? Do I allow myself to get suckered into dating another manipulator? I've had enough of them."

"I can't argue. But you won't know unless you try. I've seen you happy with Inaki, but this is one of the few times I've seen you so sad and bitter."

'Only because you haven't seen the others I've hid from you.' A fist clenched.

"If Inaki can make you that happy – happier than I've seen you – then you need to put all your eggs in one basket for once and REALLY give him a chance. What have you got to lose?"

Her body froze. Slowly, she looked over with an icy look. "Don't you DARE ask me that. You know what I've got to lose. You were there - you stopped me! How can you say that and mean it??"

Sam looked to the bed with hooded eyes. "Yes I was there. I saw and I did what I thought was best. I haven't been as good a friend as I could have if you were driven to that." Teary blue looked to green and green blinked in shock. "If you trusted me enough to vent your fears and pain, maybe you wouldn't have thought of suicide! I've always given you reason to trust me, haven't I?"

_"Have I ever given you reason not to trust me?"_

She felt like a total heel...to both Inaki and Sam. Arms extended before she knew what she was doing and wrapped around the pudgy girl. Sam hugged her tightly, sniffling a few times.

Green misted. "I...I didn't mean to not trust you." She whispered, resting her chin on Sam's shoulder. "I didn't want to unload all my problems on you. We both had college and life to deal with – how was that fair to you?"

Sam's arms squeezed in a bit of anger. "That's what...I'm...HERE for!" She tearily argued. "Estoy...su amiga! That means you can come to me...with anything on your mind...even if it's NOTHING."

She felt shame and didn't bother to shake it off. She deserved this...

There was no way to make it up to suit her needs, so she just sat like that, holding Sam to comfort her. Tears and emotions left her mind, leaving guilt and humiliation in their stead. Her mind shut down of words and silence buzzed in her ears, her heartbeat thudding.

Then a knock sounded downstairs.

The two jumped and pulled away. She harshly swallowed and stared into blue. "That'd be...Inaki." She mumbled.

Sam went to wipe her tears. "He was coming over?" She mumbled. "You never told me that."

A finger tapped on her bed. "I...I never told you that I...kind of...lashed out at him..."

A hand covered her fidgeting, halting it. She looked up and found a sad look. "Talk to him. If you really want to change K, then let him know what you NEED. How are ANY of us going to be your friend if we don't know THAT?"

Her jaw clenched, but she managed a shaky nod. "I – I can't promise...anything." She whispered. "But I'll...think about it."

Sam smiled. "That's all I ask." The two silently left the room and Sam headed into hers instead of following downstairs.

She stopped and stared as the door quietly clicked shut. Her hand clenched on the rail, looking to the front door in sight. Did Sam feel so horrible that she didn't have the heart to give them a matchmaking ribbing right now?

She made everyone feel bad or brought them down in some way...and this was why she always kept it to herself. She was tired of bringing everyone pain...but she always felt it by keeping it to herself and from others.

Another knock sounded.

She hurried downstairs to open it. She didn't want Inaki thinking she wasn't there – or that no one was – just because they exchanged a few bad words. She didn't want to be that cruel that she'd lose him as a friend to spite him.

Even if she already had.

She turned the lock and shook her head before opening the inside door. 'You're such a hypocrite. Why can't you ever decide on what you want to do?? Why do you keep going in circles?!'

The biggest question of her life, and yet she had no answer. Feeling emotions of every color of a rainbow, but not being able to pick and stick with one.

Solemn green met concerned brown through the screen door. She blinked and looked away, turning to her shoes. "Just give me a minute and we can leave." She muttered.

He took initiative and opened the door to get a better look at her. "You...want to leave?" He stumbled, trying to pick his brain up. He didn't know what to expect, but it most certainly wasn't a confrontation away from here.

She nodded and finished tying her laces. A hand reached up and grabbed her keys. The weather was warm enough to not need a coat now, and all were put away anyway.

But she wouldn't feel much anyway...as she didn't emotionally right now.

"I want to get out of here...there's too much on my mind for any clarity."

He seemed to grow thoughtful as she stopped to meet his eyes. Brown looked away to his car for what seemed the longest time and his jaw clenched a little, before he looked back and nodded. "Get anything you want for a while...I know of a place you'll like and you'll have plenty of privacy to talk."

Which meant...talking with HIM. She didn't argue and cast a final look to the stairs, sending a mental apology for her behavior, before letting him out and locking the door behind them.

The drive up was apprehensive and unbreakable. Not once did she look his way, her head staring out the passenger window. He spied a few looks, seeing some of her sideways profile, finding her brow down in thought and a distant look in her eyes. Whatever was going on in her head, it was massive because the look remained the entire drive and her eyes didn't clear.

He drove around the edge of the city, taking the car to the end of the forest. The road ended a little ways away, but the walk would be no big deal.

"We're here." He quietly announced, opening the door.

She copied him and looked around once she was out and locked the door behind her. "Where's here?"

He started for his usual trek, a relaxed look on his face. "My spot."

She wracked her brain to see if she remembered him talking about a spot, but it was too full right now to think of anything pertaining to Inaki. The whole drive was pondering her issue with Sam in her room and the girl's words. And what she should do.

The forest was silent, save for their footsteps crunching leaves and a few insects making noise. A few birds took flight from nearby trees, but otherwise the tension was still there.

She partly didn't mean to put it there. Her wish to leave was unexpected, as she betted Inaki didn't mean to come all the way back north. She felt a little bad for making him take her up here – even though she didn't know where he had in mind. She wasn't assured to spill her guts and let him help her past this, and now he had to take her all the way back to Miami and come back AGAIN to go home.

Good thing there was no gas to worry about.

She paused when Inaki suddenly stopped and had to sidestep him to keep from running into him. She covered the mistake by looking up as he did and met a rather big tree. She blinked and cast him a silent, odd look.

He relaxed the more they walked into the forest. The spell of this area once again hit him and everything from the car melted away. Standing in front of his tree, one of the biggest in the area, he felt as if he were introducing K to a family member and visa versa.

"This tree I always climb when I come here." He quietly answered, striding to it. He stopped inches away and rested a hand on the bark, looking up. "This is the spot I come to when I need to get away or to think." Black swished as he looked over his shoulder to her. "I thought...since you have the beach as yours...that you'd like this as I do."

How sweet.

She managed a small smile and nodded, looking around. She turned and took in the land, feeling a little calmer and loose as she stared. "It's...nice..." She finally got out. She took a few steps to him and the tree. "I can see why you'd want to keep coming here. It's serene."

He nodded and leaned against the trunk, hands going to the pockets of his jeans.

She managed to meet his eyes for a while, mostly trying to figure out what he was thinking – as the look on his face gave away – before looking to the next tree. "Trying to find a place to dig in?" She quietly joked, humorlessly smiling.

A hand directed her chin back, but it didn't startle her as much as it used to. She was actually waiting for it, as he had a habit of moving her chin when she looked away. But meeting his eyes, having grown in intensity, she frowned and pulled away from his touch...the few times she'd ever done so.

His brow furrowed the barest of degrees in thought and confusion. "I was just wondering when I should say anything...but I guess now is a good time."

She nodded and stepped back before turning around. "I suppose I should apologize." She answered, striding for a tree across the way. She stopped at the trunk and looked up. "I had no reason to be so crass with you for such a petty thing as studying and I'm sorry I snapped."

His brows went up as she debased something so important to her. Sometimes he couldn't figure out what she was when she kept going on and off like this. She had so many emotions – most of them bad in some way of course – and it was a marvel she didn't see how much she used. Surely she had to notice it at least a LITTLE...

He watched as her hands rose to a branch and latched onto it. She was not going to get off the ground and get away from this, and that's exactly what she was trying to do. He knew enough of her to know that.

Her arms clenched and she swung her legs to the branch, wrapping around it. The crunching of leaves forced her to pause and she looked upside-down for the briefest of seconds...before a pair of hands wrapped around her waist and she was suddenly pulled off the tree.

It was highly unexpected and there was no way for her to get her balance. She dropped like a weight, but thankfully didn't fall to the ground. Inaki must've been prepared, because he steadied her as her back hit his chest rather harshly. His arms encircled her waist fully as she tried to gain footing and clenched to help her.

Her heart sped and adrenaline ran with it. She grew tense - as she normally did - but this time, she didn't loosen after a few seconds.

After a few mental orderings, she stepped out when his arms didn't move. Earlier came back, all the way to the week of disorder. She wondered what he held her so long for, finding no cause in it except to hold her and took a step to distance herself. She always turned to mush in his arms it seemed, so if she could keep him from touching her, she would get to the bottom of this.

"K...what..." Brown blinked and stared at the back of her head. Her shoulders were hunched, and she didn't turn when he said her name. His head tilted. She never walked away before...had he done something wrong? Was she that angry with him? "You're...still mad from the call?"

She gave an inaudible sigh, staring at the leaves underfoot. How to put this without breaking their friendship, or being untactful? There were a few things in mind, but none she could express to her satisfaction.

"I –" Her lips pursed in thought. After a while, she kneeled to the ground and sat, staring at the trunk. "I - I want to know...why."

He stood in bewilderment for a while before slowly circling and sitting to face her. She stared at the trunk and he let her, knowing his touching her seemed to be a problem – much to his chagrin. She turned to look at him after a few silent minutes and solemn green met him.

"Why what? I don't understand."

It was so funny how she wouldn't meet his gaze for the longest time, yet now it seemed pinned to his...and it was a little unnerving. It seemed to see through him, to search for something. He didn't know what she was looking for, but if she wanted to know...all she had to do was ask and he'd gladly tell.

"You – you keep...touching me. You never did in the beginning. Was I such a stiff that you're just now doing so because I've calmed down? Why? That's what I want to know."

He looked away, looking to his tree and mentally pleading with it to give him strength. The even tone of her voice did not convey that she'd believe much of anything right now. She detached and he had to find a way to get her to connect so she didn't discount his words.

He had the most basic explanations, but how would he be able to get his point across when she was like this? It took a while of contemplation before he was able to answer. "I think you asked me that once before." He quietly began. Brown returned to stare at green. "You asked me why...do you remember?" Green dulled a little as her lids drooped, but she nodded. "Did I not give you my answer then?"

After a second, she looked away, but it was easy to see skepticism in her eyes. He didn't think she'd believe him.

So it WASN'T just because she loosened up...a part of her didn't think it was. She wasn't an expert on men, but she DID know when they flirted with her – verbally or physically. One would have to be blind not to at times with Inaki.

Whether or not he meant it was an issue. He certainly hadn't meant it when they first met, but this time was different. She didn't know how...but there seemed more emotion put into it. His charming smiles weren't empty – they shone in his eyes, and he leaned toward her when he talked.

She knew what that was at least.

Even now, she was hesitant to believe it. Did she want to get involved and let something blossom between them? He was a good man, a great person, but she wasn't so sure she was ready for something like that.

A hand took hold of hers and her teeth quickly paused from nibbling on her nail. Wide green met his eyes as she scanned them for any emotion to pick out. What was he touching her for this time? Did he find her habit irritating? What was it??

She didn't lax and he could feel her pulse flutter under her skin. He felt a little sad in knowing she didn't seem comfortable around him and let go. He looked away, heart clenching. Perhaps, showing his emotions to her in such a manner scared her and that's why she was acting this way.

He should've known...someone like her who had so much healing to do...she wasn't ready. He'd been greedy and there was no taking it back. They could not escape this conversation because he had an urge to hold her and flirt because he felt something for her.

"Inaki...what..."

Brown closed. "I...don't know what to say that'll make you believe me... I can't find the right words to make that happen."

Her mouth opened to deny that...and closed. He was right – she hadn't believed him since he brought her here.

"I'd like to apologize." He quietly answered, still looking away. Bangs hid his eyes from her. "I've been selfish."

She startled a bit. "You? How? I don't...understand..."

A humorless smile appeared. "No, you wouldn't. You're still so innocent, even if you don't seem like it sometimes. I keep forgetting that, even with all the time I spend and see more of the real you, and I let myself get carried away."

"You – you're not...making sense Inaki. I don't get it."

He turned and grasped her face in his hands so quickly she didn't have time to move back. Intense emotion greeted her and she shivered from it. "I touch you because I want to. I hold you because I want to. I let myself feel something for you because I want to. It's not hard to misinterpret." He stared into her eyes for a second. "Yet you do – you wonder why I do that." His gaze softened and he let go, looking away. "My heart...it hurts when you do that. Don't you believe in me at all?"

Her heart and jaw clenched. She felt even more horrible than earlier over both friends. A hand clenched over her heart, feeling it heavily thud underneath the confines of her ribcage.

She couldn't take his words without picking them apart. She still doubted too much and that was killing her heart. She knew the answer was right there, but she couldn't – wouldn't – believe it. Why...why him? Why would he like her? Was she someone so special that he'd waste perfectly good emotions on?

Her mouth opened to try an answer, but she couldn't find words to comfort him. He watched and turned away with a sigh. It felt like a sledgehammer hit her and a thread of panic sewed her veins with ice.

He just turned away!

Without thought, arms latched onto his back, holding him as if he would run away any second. She startled him – understandably – but didn't care. Her mind was too preoccupied with what he did to see what she was doing.

"Kalie?? What –" He tried to look at her, but she wouldn't let him turn. She shook and a hand rested over hers. The other moved and clutched it tightly. His heart pinged.

"You said you wouldn't leave." She tightly whispered, tears forming. Green squeezed shut. "I thought you wouldn't turn away from me. Please don't turn away from me! I'm sorry for whatever I've done. Just – just don't...don't turn away from me..."

His heart bled and he felt guilt in waves. He turned and slowly loosened her hold in the process. He never knew when he said those words that he wouldn't leave her behind, but apparently actions said enough for her to make the assumption. It never occurred to him she'd take that as such a threat to her psyche and regretted doing so.

Because she just slid right back to where she was.

Her arms latched around him again and he held her tightly to him as well. They sat like that for a while as he let her get through it in her mind.

"I didn't mean to do that. I didn't know it meant so much to you and I'm sorry for that." He pulled her from the confines of his chest to see her eyes. A hand rose and a thumb slowly wiped tracks away. "It was stupid of me to not see something you hold in such importance. Please forgive me."

She sniffled and blinked, trying to calm down. Her head finally shook. "It's...it's okay. I was just...being overly emotional again. Is that part of your 'training'?"

He sobered and scowled, resisting the urge to shake her. "You shouldn't be trained to feel emotion...that's something all human beings have the privilege of! I'm helping you to discover the hidden strength in yourself, but you are bringing out your own emotions."

His hand cupped her cheek and they silently stared at each other. His gaze lost any harshness and softened. She watched the transformation and became uneasy when he kept staring at her like that. When his face slowly lowered, she pulled away and stumbled back to the ground.

He was so startled at her movement – not thinking she'd pull away like that – he didn't move when she stood and took a few steps away. He watched her stop, back turned, before jumping to his feet and taking a cautious step to her. "K..."

"Why??" She whispered, arms going around herself. She felt small right now, but couldn't combat it. "You did it again. And you...you almost –" Hands briefly covered her mouth. "Why?"

His head dropped. She STILL didn't understand – what would it take for him to make his point known??

"I told you." He softly answered, pondering another face-to-face talk. They kept going in circles with serious talks like these and he wondered if anything would ever come from it.

Her head slowly shook. "Then, I guess...I won't ever understand..."

He gave her back an odd look. "Why won't you understand? It's so simple. Do you doubt me that much?"

Her head shook again, this time with twice the speed. "Not you...myself. I'll never understand what anyone sees in someone like me."

She did NOT just say that! Hadn't he made her a list – hell a FEW of them – when she asked the same question??

"I keep looking at myself in the mirror; I think of every good thing I've done; I study my personality and make mental lists...but I just don't know. Does that make me more than my own worst critic? I just can't find out what you would find interest in such a shy, weak-spirited person such as myself..."

His anger rose that she'd debase herself so. A hand whipped out and latched onto her arm – a little tighter than he wanted – and yanked her to face him. He off-balanced her, but was prepared and kept them both standing.

"You always do this to yourself...do you enjoy putting yourself down?!" He hissed, shaking her shoulders in desperation to try and make her see. "Do you know how much that hurts ME as your friend to see you demean your good qualities?? You have PLENTY of them, but you won't see because you still hold those assholes in mind! Why won't you get past them?? What is holding you back??"

Tears gathered in her eyes, but his anger made her go on defensive. She tried to twist her arms out of his grip, but he wouldn't let go. "I don't want to fall again!" She finally cried, still struggling. "I fell in love and it hurt me! I don't want to attach myself to someone and be in the position where I'd let myself give up on life! Do you know what that did to me the first time?? I CAN'T become attached or I'll fall - it's inevitable!"

It took a second before he remembered to breathe. Her words hit him hard. He knew some of them, but just with her, he didn't accept it until it was thrown in his face.

He shook her again, gentler than the last. "But you're stronger than that – you KNOW you are! **I **know you are! You can't let past experiences let you not feel for people in the future. How are you ever going to find true happiness??"

Whether he was talking about himself or not she didn't know. She knew her resistance was rising on skeptic defense again and let darkness swallow her.

"My happiness has never been an issue. I've never had true happiness like you have. I don't have the life you will. I've fallen in love almost twice and it burned me, Arthur worse than Brad. What incentive to I have to like anyone again??"

Her harshness at such a big subject ate at him and his jaw clenched tightly. He wanted her to be happy, but she wouldn't even let HERSELF be first. He couldn't allow that, and he HAD to make her see that!

"You can't be serious in saying you've never wanted to be happy. Have you ever allowed yourself to have crushes or like anyone after your suicide attempt?? Have you shut off so completely that you'd become a robot? Society isn't everything you know, and a job means shit if you have no one to come home to at the end of the day!"

She gave a sour look and glared at him. "You don't know me, though you say you do. My liking someone in recent years doesn't matter with college. Those I know, I will never let in or like in any way because I do not allow myself. I will never fully trust my friends or have feelings for them."

"And what about me? Are you saying you're going to ignore what we have?"

Her mouth opened to continue her demeaning, but her eyes widened at the emotion in his eyes. What did he mean by THAT?! Her mind was frozen, but her body responded by releasing yet MORE adrenaline to dilute in her body with her galloping heart.

He brought it up, he brought up the spark she had for him! She knew it was there – she DID find him attractive in the beginning. Only recently she knew she liked him enough to have a crush, perhaps something more or not she didn't know, but she managed to get away from some of that. She just used it to allow herself to relax around him. Anything more scared her.

She looked away and it confirmed what he speculated in her eyes. She DID feel something for him! He forgot to breathe for a second, even if his heart surged and a spec of happiness hit him. She liked him! He knew it was more than a friend or she would've answered immediately that it was only that. Even if she DID answer that way, he would've seen past it. She was too open to hide something like that to someone who saw her way of burying things.

"You – you do...you – and I – and you – we –"

Her head shook a little, trying to keep him from believing. If he believed, she'd believe and that wouldn't be a good thing. "You're my friend. I like you as a friend. I know that's what you feel. You've always flirted with me. I just thought I'd be used to it now." She spared him a glance and found incredulity on his face.

She COULDN'T be SERIOUS! She not only doubted herself, but she was telling him how he supposedly felt! That was enough of that.

"You could never be more wrong in your life. I know you don't think me true. You don't want to get hurt anymore, and that's understandable. I wouldn't want emotional pain either...and I've been dumped a lot too." His hand rose and gripped her chin. "But you grossly accuse me by trying to tell ME how I feel."

Her brow furrowed, and she stiffened without thought. "You HAVE always flirted with me though." She reiterated, seeing his eyes slowly lower. He stared at her with a hooded gaze and she mentally ordered herself to move.

But she couldn't.

"I have." He lowly answered, head tilting a little. Everything he felt for her rose to the surface and he let it shine in his eyes. There was only one way he could convince her...he should've known. Everything he did...he should've known only one way would cast all doubts from her mind...

"And – and yet you never acted on it." She stumbled. "Not in the beginning. People can be friendly without meaning it...that's what I figured you were. And perhaps," Her tongue nervously darted out, "you and I are good friends. Too good to waste on changing anything. We -"

He had enough of her garbage. Everything she spouted SHE didn't even believe. She was trying to change both of their minds, with no success. Her anxiety showed quite clearly of that.

His grip on her chin moved her face and he swooped down to harshly claim her lips...cutting her off.

Her eyes widened to painful proportions as they stared at his lids. His lips pressed against hers insistently, but he was gentle.

'He'skissingmehe'skissingmehe'skissingme!!'

Her body shook with the intensity of her heartbeat and the emotions she felt flared to life. She slowly melted under his touch. The last time she was kissed was Eugene – Inaki's few brotherly not counting – and found herself beginning to respond.

Her mouth slowly moved against his and he followed, feeling a shaking hand slowly press against his cheek. His heart raced even faster as an arm wrapped around her back and pressed her to him.

She was surprised, but it only brought to the surface how much she wanted to touch him in return. Her hand cupped his chin, the other sliding up his arm to touch his neck. Her hand soon abandoned his face for the back of his head and both dug into the raven mass. His hair was soft and she couldn't resist running it through her fingers, even though it was in that ever-present braid.

He suppressed a groan and pressed further against her, if that was even possible. His hand followed hers and trailed over her skin to stop at the back of her neck and kneaded the spine. His other slowly trailed the cord through her shirt.

She shook even more as a tingling ran through her body with a vengeance. She knew this feeling...she felt it the same day she saw him in one of her towels.

Inaki honestly didn't know what he was doing by provoking a woman who had been so emotionally and physically deprived for a year. She broke up with Eugene in February when she was nineteen...everything had been shoved into forgetfulness after that.

And now being unleashed on the one person she didn't have the heart to turn away from anymore.

He could almost sense when her hesitation left...right before she all but attacked him. Her lips took control and her mouth opened, tongue stroking his lips. His body felt a jolt, but he eagerly complied, tongue lapped against hers - trying to keep up. Her hands massaged the back of his head and he suppressed another groan, much harder than the last.

She couldn't get enough of him. Somewhere in her mind, she recognized he was kissing her with all the emotion he felt...and did a pretty good job of matching hers. That's when it finally clicked.

He liked her. Inaki liked her. He was interested in her enough to kiss her like this, and so deeply.

Her heart soared the realization, though it'd been presented to her in about half a dozen ways since she started picking up signs.

How stupid could she BE??

When they finally peeled away enough to breathe, both heaving, she didn't have the internal strength to look at him and see whatever was in his eyes. She wasn't THAT strong to meet emotions like this head on – hadn't with others either.

The kneading stopped when his hand trailed to her chin and gently moved it. She didn't fight him and was a little surprised at the utterly tender look that made her body shiver. A smile slowly appeared and she had the urge to melt at his feet...and probably would've if she wasn't plastered against his chest. A blush appeared at that, but it was kind of hard to blush NOW.

He didn't know what to say, but knew he had to say something! She needed to be reassured that the kiss wasn't a mistake, or he wasn't doing it in the heat of the moment. He settled for kissing her again to bide time to think.

The second was twice as gentle and conveyed more emotion than the first. The quivering feeling returned, and her hands jerkily shifted to his shoulders to keep from falling and ruining this. She wanted it to continue...never had she felt this good in so long...

She returned the kiss in the same way, surprising herself at how easily she could match emotions. Had so much built up and she ignored it like everything else until it surfaced? Was she that blind to her own emotions that she'd ignore something like this?? WHY would she...this felt too good!

When he finally pulled away and his eyes fluttered open, he took in her face. Her eyes were closed, lips parted, face flushed...

She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

His heart thumped on that realization and a thumb rubbed her lower lip to avoid the urge to kiss her again. Green shot open and stared at him with uncertainty, but certainly not disgust or dissatisfaction. A charming smile gradually appeared. "You have no idea...how much I've wanted to do that..."

Her lips pressed together to futilely quell a smile and she resisted the urge to look away. Her head was swimming with everything he invoked and she didn't want it to stop. Teeth bit her inner lip before she gained the courage to speak. Whether he was waiting for her or not, she didn't know. "It was...nice..."

There was no doubt about it – this was going to change things. They both knew it; there was no need to voice it. He wasn't worried, not with what he saw. They could handle this, and she was able to take the step...even if it would definitely be hard to get her to accept this in future ventures.

One thing was for sure – he did NOT want to screw this up. That kiss said and told of so much. He never had that with others...of course he never got to know them this long before going out with them. Eight months was the record so far he betted.

Even if dating K immediately after this wasn't going to happen, he was more than happy to tiptoe his way into it.

Knowing he wasn't going to get to kiss her for a while – through physical distance or her own insecurities – he took the chance and gently pressed his lips to hers again.


	38. Ch 38

It could have been predicted – with their track record and her hesitation – that a relationship would've been a shaky thing. He had a feeling if ANYTHING happened, it wouldn't be much, nor would it progress for quite a while. He would have to take it as slow as he had for their friendship and watch himself.

How right he was.

Not much happened, even though her spring semester was now over. He understood things would end up being slow, mostly due to distance and her schedule. The weeks took of her time, and during the weekend, he was able to spend maybe six hours a day with her.

It was a good way to begin, and she seemed to prefer it too. After that kiss, he forced himself to go slow. He held her hand, sat close to her, and occasionally put his arms around her. She was stiff – as she always was – but loosened a lot quicker than before.

He had a feeling she did that because she knew what to expect now.

She mentioned a few times she liked knowing the ground rules for things so she knew how to act. Even though they could be considered dating, he wouldn't classify it as such. Not because he got to see her on the weekends, but because she was still too shy to take initiative in anything or be really comfortable with the idea of dating him.

She seemed a little more at ease if they did something together, whatever it was. It was another trial to rebuild her esteem because with these new boundaries, she was as shy as she had been in the beginning. But he was now able to use things like holding her hand or innocently touching her to bring her back up.

He had a feeling she didn't mind the dating him – or something close to it – and was getting used to the idea quite rapidly. She never mentioned it, but the look in her eyes and the way she would lean in whenever his arm went around her, gave her away. They only kissed one more time since their first, and he missed being able to do that.

He hesitated on that, as kissing was a rather intimate act...and when it came to him, normally led to other aspects of...things. But he wanted to kiss her so bad and it was a physical restraint he issued at times. She was just so kissable and was a great kisser, whether she knew that or not.

For not having much practice in recent years, or at all, she was able to send a spark through him that he hadn't felt in months.

THAT was a little dangerous, given the implications of what could happen if he allowed himself to give in to the urge. Even if it sounded like a good idea, he always harshly scolded himself and thought of less pleasant things to take his mind off it. If that ever happened it would be nice, if not...he would deal.

He was celibate for months now, more wouldn't kill him.

So he hoped.

"You're going to pass out if you keep sitting that way."

He blinked and his head craned even further back, as much as the mattress would allow. He just grinned and adjusted his feet on the wall. "What makes you say that? I've been like this the past five minutes, but I'm still breathing."

"And you look like a tomato."

An upside-down smile met him and he grinned back, even IF she was correct. The blood was rushing to his head and it was getting annoying to the point of a headache. She was in the process of writing down all her grades and such things as what her financial aid was this year and he conceded in that, knowing her orderly manner was not to be argued with. She just had to put away her books and file said papers, and then they could hang out.

In the meantime, he was forced to find ways to amuse himself and beside the droning internal monologues...sitting with his head hanging off her bed seemed like a good idea at the time.

After all...he'd never seen her room flipped one-eighty before now.

He didn't know what they were going to do besides his normal ideas to get her to open up. He wanted to spend some time together and be affectionate as he wanted, but knew that was still overboard.

She seemed a little tense – possibly uneasy – when he arrived, but he knew that dealt with her accepting she was 'dating' again. She STILL seemed the same way, but giving herself something to do took her focus off.

She was a little guarded as she stood with books loaded in her arms, and headed for her closet. He finally sat up and watched her kneel and pull out a plastic tub. Brown widened a little at seeing the bin nearly full.

There was QUITE a lot of money right there!

When she finished, she turned to look at him, though she didn't move to the bed. He stared back for a few minutes until she forced herself to move. He scooted aside so he wasn't taking up the whole thing and let her sit. Of course, she sat far enough away for it to be friendly...which he wasn't going to allow.

If she distanced herself, he would never be able to worm his way past her defenses as he REALLY wanted.

With a disarming smile, an arm reached out and delved into her hair. She startled, but the feeling made her eyes close and her head turned to his palm a little. His eyes softened a bit.

"Turn around." He quietly ordered. She gave a quizzical stare, but did as commanded and he gently pulled her to rest against his chest. "You need to loosen up missy. I happen to have the cure."

She wasn't worried about putting his legs to sleep by leaning on them, but hadn't shifted to be more comfortable despite his comment. How could she NOT be uncomfortable? The first boyfriend she had in over a year...and a friend no less. The last guy friend she ended up dating was Brad, but she was in a worse position in life then than with Inaki now.

It'd been a month, but she wasn't used to it. Inaki seemed to open the floodgates and touch her at will, when she hadn't been in so long and it was hard to accept it in a short amount of time.

But by being so deprived, she came to want more and more, and want him around. She came to want his company more than just half the weekend, though it was too embarrassing to tell him that. Now that classes were over, he mentioned wanting to spend time with her during the week while he could before summer classes started. She conceded, knowing he would have to go back to the weekends in a mere two weeks.

Not only that, but it gave her the ability to give in to this new need...though she would still be uneasy with his touchy-feely nature. It was the WANT she had – which she understood.

It also meant she was getting used to having a boyfriend again.

Her back slouched only a little in the ten minutes he spent running his hands through her hair. That just wouldn't do.

"You're still too tense." He nearly complained, resting his chin on her head.

"This isn't the most comfortable position in the world." She quietly argued.

He figured that, as her back was at an odd slope and her calves were hanging off the edge of her daybed from lack of room.

Brown scanned the room, getting a sudden idea. Mischievousness hit and a grin broadened when he spotted her cd collection. He found a stack next to it and pouted a little when recognition hit him.

Those were the cds he gave as a present that she hadn't even finished unwrapping!

That wouldn't do either. Feeling a little disappointed that she hadn't listened to the music; he knew just what to do.

"Sit up then and I'll fix that." He slid out from under her and stood, helping her off the bed and positioned her a few feet from her cd player. "Stay there and don't move." He ordered, striding to the collection. A finger tore the paper open the rest of the way and he picked a cd out of the small stack, brown reading the song titles as he strode to the player.

He didn't give her music he hadn't already listened to, and with this cd, he knew the lyrics. There were two perfect songs to choose from to get his point across.

And have some fun in the process.

He deposited the cd and turned the volume up enough for the lyrics to be heard before pressing play on the track he wanted.

She blinked when he quickly grabbed her hands and pulled her into a general dance position. There was an almost silly grin on his face that she wondered about.

Then heard the beginning of a song.

**You know you...you make me feel so good inside**

**Always wanted a girl just like you**

**Such a purity...pretty young thing**

It was strange to hear another voice come from his mouth as he spoke in time with the words. In a way, he was using the singer to croon to her. A shiver ran through at what she could pick from the lyrics and the look on his face.

How...adorable.

**Where did you come from lady**

**And ooh won't you take me there**

**Right away won't you baby**

**Tenderoni you've got to be**

**Spark my nature; sugar fly with me**

He created some kind of weird mutation of what she considered a tango and a waltz. He shook her shoulders by pushing and pulling on her arms, dipped, twirled, and forced her to keep half an eye on their feet to keep from stepping on him. And he did it all in time with the words and beat to the song.

**I want to love you (P Y T)**

**Pretty young thing**

**You need some loving (T L C)**

**Tender loving care**

**And I'll take you there**

Whatever his intention, his silliness was addicting, and the silly grin and mouthing the words was making her smile. She felt the anxiety melt at the words and what they stood for – what he was making them stand for. She couldn't help laughter that rose and the giggling that escaped as she played along and joined in his strange dance.

It was fun and he was doing this to loosen her up. She knew it, because he wouldn't act like this for HIS benefit...

**Nothing can stop this burning desire to be with you**

**Gotta get to you baby**

**Won't you come, it's emergency**

**Cool my fire yearning honey, come set me free**

As he got to the best part of the song – what he could REALLY get a laugh out of her with – his finger pointed to her as he continued to lip-sing.

**Pretty young things, repeat after me**

**Say na na na**

She giggled and tried to copy him as a breathy female voice repeated the syllables. That went on for four times, and by then she was laughing too hard to keep it up.

**I want to love you (P Y T)**

**Pretty young thing**

**You need some loving (T L C)**

**Tender loving care**

**And I'll take you there**

Now he knew why he ended up picking this song. There were a few kiss noises at the end and he took the sound effects as opportunities to plant a few less-than-serious kisses on her nose. It didn't seem to phase her any and her eyes seemed to continue their sparkle.

By the time the song finished, he successfully accomplished his goal to get her to calm down – as was clearly shown by her wide grin and giggles. He set her on the bed to shut the cd off and plopped down next to her.

Her head shook as a hand covered her mouth. "No one can say you aren't a good mood lifter." She quipped, trying to stop laughing. Thinking of everything he did brought on more, and the need to laugh, and it was hard to stop.

He puffed up in a grand display and draped an arm over her shoulders. "I have my uses. No one can ever accuse me of being a bad dancer."

She erupted into more laughter at that.

He grinned and sneakily pulled her against him, which she leaned on as a support. Her head drooped and pressed against his chest and sent his heart fluttering.

She had such pleasant laughter; it was so nice to hear. It was full of life and it was a shame in knowing she hadn't had the opportunity to voice it as much as she could've.

With him, she would be doing that a LOT more.

The flare of getting her to laugh increased his determination to get her to open up. He would do anything to get her to laugh and smile, because he liked having her do both. She looked pretty when she smiled, when her eyes lit up in genuine happiness or amusement.

Finally roping it in, hearing quiet in her ears, she wrapped a hand around her stomach and pulled away to stand. "What say we catch a movie?" Green went to the clock on her nightstand. "We've still got the whole afternoon."

"Sounds good to me." He stood and a hand went to his wallet. He was about to pull out money to count and see what he had when a hand and a giggle stopped him.

"No, no...a movie HERE. Sorry – I should've clarified."

He smiled and grasped her hand, putting his wallet back with the other. "Simple misunderstanding." He gave her a small squeeze and led the way to the bedroom door.

She fought a sheepish smile at his actions and followed him downstairs, hands still entwined.

"Go ahead and look through anything that sounds good." She let him go and lightly shoved him for the narrow arch. "I'll get started on making us some popcorn."

"Works for me." He headed in and a brow rose at the size of home movies stacked near the tv. "You two aren't much for a dvd stand are you?"

"They get shifted through every weekend, what's the point?" She called, digging through the cupboards. "But I am getting a little annoyed at seeing them there. I'm thinking of getting a bookshelf or something."

He kneeled and picked up a stack. His nose wrinkled.

"Oh yea – most of those are chick flicks. Be warned."

His eyes rolled through a small grin at her late warning. He shifted through almost half the stack before popping corn reached his ears.

By the time he found one that sounded not so sappy and one his sister said was pretty good, put it in and turned everything on, K was waltzing in with sodas and popcorn bags juggled in her arms.

"One for each." She pleasantly announced, plopping down. She set everything down and instantly snatched the controls out of his hand that he was trying to figure out and shoved the bag over instead. Without a word, fingers expertly went through the set up and started the movie, letting it play without skipping to give them time to shake the salt and butter around.

A hand moved to the coffee table and deposited the controls, opened her can, and shifted to get comfortable.

When she was through shifting and moving the cushions, he went to get comfortable and scooted close enough so their knees touched. They were both wearing jeans, but the fact that he was touching her made his heart skip a beat for a second. He snuck a glance at her face, finding her looking at him. He merely smiled and directed his eyes to the tv and opened his bag.

The movie had progressed halfway through. It had to be turned up due to loud crunching, but that was a given. It was actually a pretty good movie, and the company was commendable. He was enjoying himself.

But something caught his eye when he snuck a glance to see if K was enjoying herself as much as he was and froze.

Brown widened and he tensely licked his lips.

He harshly swallowed and quickly diverted his gaze to the tv, feeling his blood heat at the image that presented itself. When he snuck a glance, it was still there.

He uncomfortably cleared his throat and resisted the urge to shift and give away just how physically uncomfortable he suddenly was.

Green looked his way briefly. "Something wrong?" She asked, crunching as she went.

He looked at her face for all of a second before spearing the tv with an intense look. "Do you...ah...always...eat popcorn," He harshly swallowed again, "with your...tongue?"

Her tongue shot out and grasped a kernel, brow furrowing. She removed the bag from her face and set it in her lap in favor for her soda. "Of course – keeps my hands from getting all greasy. Not like I couldn't lick the butter off, but this way I don't have to and I can touch the controllers quicker."

He shifted his position to shift period, though that did little to ease the ache that suddenly appeared.

All those words she used...why did she have to pick those words?? They did SO not help him right now and the mental images he was getting was sending his body into a down spiral.

"Oh..." He nearly croaked.

Green blinked. His voice seemed tense for some reason. "Something up? You don't sound very well..."

He forced a groan down. She was so innocent...it was cute, but it was a pain. Didn't she know what she was doing to him?!

He had to calm down, this would only scare her...though she told him she was not a virgin, she took something like that very seriously. He learned this and it was a sharp lesson to know...and not something to play around with.

Of course he had to give himself credit – he'd been celibate for months with no thoughts until now.

That had to be a record.

"Are you SURE you're okay?"

He jumped and looked her way, finding her gaze had inched over as if trying to see better. Her head was tilted in an inquiring way and her lips pursed in wonder.

For the oddest reason, that look sent another jolt through him.

"Why – why do you say that?"

"Because you look like you're in pain. Did you get a kernel stuck in your gums or something?"

In pain? She had no idea...

His head shook. "No...no, nothing like that." He set the bag down to put a little distance between her, even for a second. Her nearness was going to be both their undoing if she didn't back away. But he couldn't very well tell her she was turning him on by not only eating her popcorn in such an erotic way – how could he sat by her so long and missed that ANYWAY?? – but giving him irresistibly adorable looks?

Her brow furrowed. "Nothing? O...kay..." She made to lean back, a hand reaching for her popcorn again, but his snaked out and quickly grabbed her wrist.

He could NOT sit there next to her and let her continue, not now that he knew how she ate! The image of her using her tongue like that would force him to get off the couch and away from her.

Green blinked as she gave him a confused look. "Inaki? What is it?" She cast a look to the coffee table. "Don't worry; I wasn't reaching for the controls. Just my popcorn."

He didn't let go and slowly pulled her hand to the back of the couch. "That's not it." He muttered, not looking at her.

She stared at him in wonder, brow heavily furrowing. Finally, her head shook. "You're not making sense. What is wrong?"

He was trying to fight it, but it was a little hard to turn himself on and off like a faucet. After a beat of silence, he met her eyes, pinning her with his emotions.

She harshly swallowed. She knew that look – knew it well. She saw that on him the first time they kissed...and she saw it on Brad as well.

Her heart immediately sped as warmth hit her. A small shiver ran up her back. The movie was already forgotten.

She tried to form words, but her tongue and brain stopped working. She sat frozen, hand in his heated grip in the air, and her body started trembling from adrenaline.

"I...can't sit here...and watch you eat...with your tongue." He slowly turned and inched closer unconsciously, finding a need to be near her surface.

He wanted - no HAD - to touch her.

She leaned back in response, eyes slowly widening on their own. An arm reached behind to keep her from falling over. She finally comprehended his words and tried to swallow, failing miserably.

Her mouth opened to try and say his name, maybe snap him out of whatever he was going through, but her vocal cords wouldn't work. She only managed a small squeak before he leaned over her legs...his hand letting her go to rest on either side of her ribcage for balance.

He was so close...mere inches above her body and face. The intensity hadn't lessened at all as he moved, but increased, if possible. Her body was shaking from his polarity and her heartbeat thudded in her ears so loudly it effectively threw the movie as quiet background noise – though she had it turned up enough so they could hear it.

He wanted to say something, but it was hard to find ANYTHING to say. The urge to kiss and touch her was taking him hostage and he couldn't help but go with it. She backed up a little, but made no move to stop him.

Did that mean she didn't mind what he was doing so far?

His legs were at an awkward angle, but he feared to move. They were frozen in time in the same position and although he wanted to lean down and cover her body with his, he wanted to wait until she had the same emotion in her eyes that he had in his. He also wanted to know she would allow it.

He would never take advantage of her like that.

She harshly swallowed, mind screaming at her to move and get away or move and kiss him. His mouth was parted and it was SO tempting! Her heart ran even faster with that realization, but she didn't shy away from it mentally.

He was a DAMN good kisser – with probably enough experience – and gave her more than enough opportunities to let him keep practicing.

She hadn't been ready in the beginning; they were too new after all. But wedging their toes into this, nothing seemed to change and she suddenly found herself wanting this. She wanted to touch him, as she wouldn't let herself do in the beginning, and she wanted to kiss him. He wouldn't mind and he was trying to do that in the first place anyway.

"I...naki..." She whispered, slowly leaning up.

"K..." He breathed, meeting her lips. He tried to start out slow, really he tried. But when she ran her tongue over his lip, he lost most of his control.

He gently pushed her back, allowing her time to adjust to not hurt herself, and shifted his arms for better balance. His fingers twitched as if pouting they couldn't dig into her hair at the angle his elbows had to be at to keep him from crushing her.

Her arms gravitated around his neck, almost feeling whole with his weight settled over her. Muscles flexed and dragged him closer, and her body mindlessly arched up for something – anything – in the moment.

He shuddered and shifted again, ultimately allowing his hands to wander. One delved into her hair as much as possible and the other trailed down her arm...down her hip...

And tugged her left leg apart to almost hang off the couch.

She gasped and her eyes flew open...feeling him. An intense shiver ran through her as her eyes fluttered close and – before she could stop herself – pulled away enough to grab hold of his lip with her teeth.

He exhaled a shaky breath after a second. He had to touch her more – this wasn't enough. He wanted more...his body wanted more.

He pulled away enough to breathe her name...right before his teeth and lips latched hold of her neck.

She inhaled a shaky breath and gave the quietest of whimpers. Instinctively, her fingers flexed and nails pressed against his back.

He grunted against the pain as it mingled with what he already felt. The newest feeling was not unwelcome and it felt too good to make her stop.

Wasn't there a quote about pain and pleasure anyway?

But it sure wasn't helping the ache he had right now.

He shifted and seemed to forget exactly where his lap was. A feeling shot through her when he moved and she cried out, head pressing against the cushions. Her back arched and she panted, trying to get her breath back.

That...she hadn't felt that...for a while...

She heard him breathe her name and there was an intense need to touch him back as he was lavishing her. She wanted to make him feel the same way...even if she knew he was there already.

Her hands moved up his back, past his braid, to his hair, and pulled his head to the side. Allowing her mouth to capture an ear.

He nearly choked with the electricity she created. His ears were always a sensitive spot – one of his main turn ons – and she was doing more damage than she was helping.

His fist tightened its hold on the side of her leg and his thumb ran over her jeans as if feeling skin. It was insistent and not light, but she certainly didn't mind.

Their lips connected almost mutually after a few minutes of her snacking on his ear. They clashed and wrestled for dominance and emotion, neither winning...but putting up a rather good fight.

At least until the lock turned on the front door.

Two pairs of eyes shot open in shock and they scrambled apart as the door opened. He tried to sit in a way to conceal the past few minutes and she quickly went to wipe her mouth.

"I'm back! I did pretty well on my grades, so I decided to go out to lunch." Sam called, setting her keys down. Hands went for the laces of her shoes. "Sorry I didn't take you with, but you mentioned Inaki might be coming over today, so I figured you could spend some quality time with him."

She did SO not appreciate the tone Sam said the last sentence in...especially since said person was sitting not even a foot away.

Resting a cold pop in his lap.

She promptly blushed at seeing that and her gaze whipped to the open wood doors when Sam came into her vision.

"Oh...you did come over." Sam gave a grin and looked to the tv. "Having fun? Good movie?"

Her mouth opened and closed a few times without saying anything. "Great! Fine! It's a chick flick...but it wasn't...bad..." She stuttered, going for her pop in a fidget. She quickly downed most of it, partly to keep from saying anything more.

Sam cast the two an odd glance, looking back and forth. Blonde swished in confusion. "Yea I guess." A hand held up a slip of folded paper. "Well, I'm going to go note my grades down and put this with everything else."

She tried to smile and failed miserably. "Knock yourself out."

Sam merely smiled and passed through the archway, leaving them in silence.

Totally aware of each other and what just happened.

She stared at the tv, unable to meet his gaze and trying to figure out what to say. She didn't notice anything going on before slowly going for the remote and shutting it off.

It was official – she would never be able to watch this movie again without remembering today.

The controls rested limply in her hand and she stared at them, trying to find words. This had not happened to her for a long time and her body was still humming. She couldn't get the feeling to subside, and part of her didn't WANT to.

How long had it been since she felt such passion??

The pop can moved in her field of vision and she kept track of it without breaking her stare. It was set down as quietly as possible before he sat back and looked at her.

"I – I don't regret what just happened." He nearly whispered. "But I'm sorry I didn't keep control."

She felt like gawking at him in shock. Control?? Hell, part of her wanted to THANK him! Thank him for his LACK of control...

She quickly set the control on the table. "It's...okay..." Her lips pressed together as she forced herself to look at him. "I – I don't...regret it...either." A tentative smile appeared. "I told you...I rarely regret...anything I do..."

He gave a small smile and stared at her. She couldn't help but hold his gaze, captured by soft brown. He slowly leaned over after a bit, allowing her to tell him to stop, before closing the gap entirely and kissing her as gently as he could.

It was nice. It was so innocent and caring it almost made tears form. This was his way of putting that nice little make-out session behind them, almost bringing them back to the beginning they started out at.

Someone cleared their throat and she jumped, whipping to the archway. Sam stood there, half hidden by the wall, with a wide grin. "You two are so CUTE..." She cooed, hands clenching under her chin.

She gave the girl a dry glance. She looked back when Inaki shifted and found him staring at the entertainment center.

"You do realize it's almost four."

She followed his gaze. She realized what he was mentioning and stood as he did. "Yea – you need to get home and help with dinner."

She followed him to the porch, closing the door behind her to keep Sam from following, and stopped when he did.

"I'll call you when you wanna hang out again."

She smiled. "Got it." She breathed.

A hand snaked out and slowly grasped her t-shirt, pulling her forward. She went as tension inched up and leaned forward to kiss him again.

He couldn't help but smile when they pulled away. She was getting more comfortable with kissing him...and thankfully so. With that nice little eruption of suppressed hormones – on BOTH sides, what surprised the HELL out of him! – he was relieved to find she didn't run away!

He looked at her one last time to get him through the days and inched down the steps. He walked backward as much as he dared, waving as he went, before rounding the car.

After he pulled away, she plopped down on the porch and exhaled a shudder. The breeze was a little warm for May, and didn't help her to cool off in the least.

She couldn't BELIEVE that just happened! Where did that surge of lust come from?!

'You haven't had sex in two years or so. Something like that gets buried, not destroyed!'

She was glad Inaki didn't make a big deal of that. It was a just make-out session, albeit one HELL of a make-out session!

She couldn't help but smile as she stood and made for the front door. 'I have a feeling this is going to haunt me for a while. MAN I seriously hope he doesn't do anything like that again! I don't know if I'll be able to contain myself next time!'

God forbid...if such a session happened again and Inaki unleashed two years of pent up sexual tension, he was going to get knocked for a loop when her hidden aggressive side came out.

An evil grin appeared as she headed for the living room to pick up after them.

What she wouldn't give to see the look on Inaki's face when he found THAT out!

Singer: Michael Jackson Title: Pretty Young Thing


	39. Ch 39

It was not possible to be this nervous AND excited rolled into one. One would think all the anxiety would lessen with as much as it hit her on a normal basis.

Really...it was getting QUITE annoying...

'Why can't I be more go-with-the-flow like Inaki??' She nearly whined.

Hands slapped her head at that statement.

With a huff, she resumed pacing, only veered off the track by whirling around and marching straight for the bathroom to check her appearance for the fifth time in the last ten minutes.

Of course everything still looked the way Sam put it on. The girl didn't trust her to do her own makeup – probably rightly so – with so little experience in any kind of lighting. She didn't mind, mostly because her hands were shaking enough to make putting on foundation and eyeliner twice the hassle and take just as long.

She gave her reflection a bored look, lightly slapped herself on the forehead for being such a dork, and headed back to her room.

Just as she resumed pacing and was about to turn, her vision caught sight of something. Not expecting it, she jumped and gasped.

"This little...thing with you is never going to go away is it?"

She stared before a light dawned and she glared. Glossed lips pursed. "Go away and leave me alone."

Knowing all too well her best friend's mood – bypassing it as always – Sam strode in around the girl and hopped on the daybed. "It's not like you should be nervous in the slightest! You two have been going out since the end of March! That's almost two months by now! What do you have to be nervous about??"

Her friend made a very good point, and it earned her another glare.

Sam smiled anyway and leaned back to stare at the ceiling. "I don't know if I should've done your makeup so soon... I mean, he's not going to be here for another half an hour or so, that gives the possibility of you having to reapply."

As if she wasn't worried ENOUGH about having on more makeup than she wore in a long time, and what Inaki would think of her looking like this, she made yet another track for the mirror to reassure herself everything was as it should be.

As she returned to put a hole in the carpet, she briefly met light blue. "I thought you GAINED some self-esteem from your time with Inaki, not LOST it." The girl mused.

Glossed lips pursed again and the taste of strawberry invaded her mouth. She made a mental note to wipe her lips before eating anything. "Do you know of ANY instance when I've been this dressed and dolled up in front of Inaki?!" She demanded. A hand rested on her hip, the other pointing a finger at her face.

Sam pried her gaze from white stucco long enough to slant a glance over. After a second, light blue returned to the wall. "Your birthday."

She thought for a second, before crisply nodding in agreement. "Okay...what else?"

Sam's brow furrowed, trying to think of ANY other time, but drew a blank – at least, when Inaki was here. "Dunno."

"See?! That was two-thirds of a year ago! He probably doesn't even REMEMBER me with makeup on!"

Sam sighed and moved her arms as a pillow for her head. "Will you stop freaking out?? If Inaki had a problem with how you looked WITHOUT makeup by now...you two wouldn't have gone strong for so long. Hey - that rhymed."

She snorted at the girl's humor timing, but forced herself to recognize that. "I think I should go wash some of this off and tone it down. I mean, I'm just going to sweat it off later anyway..."

"Oh NO you don't!" Sam was off the bed, on her feet, and had a hold of an arm before she could get out the door. It surprised her how much the girl could move for being prostrate on her bed and too comfortable to have reflexes like a cat. "You're wearing nothing more than lip gloss, a little foundation, eye shadow, and eye liner. The most extreme is the eyeliner and you're just not used to that. I bet if you went and stared at yourself in the mirror long enough, you'd get used to it."

"That's a MIGHT get used to it." She sidestepped, getting her arm back. A hand impatiently waved at the clothes. "And how do you explain THESE??"

Sam successfully hid a grin, even if she was cackling evilly in her head. "Hot temperatures and a boyfriend to impress." She stated, holding up a finger as if to make a point.

She looked up and tried not to fidget. She was getting better at all that, but the looking away was plain irritation this time. "This skirt is not going to hide the WORLD out if a good breeze comes!" She complained, unsuccessfully trying to tug the mid-thigh hem down. "And WHY did you make me wear a halter when the night temperatures WILL make me freeze??"

The inner cackling grew even further.

"BECAUSE..." Sam innocently drawled, trying to look the part. "You've got the chest AND the body for it. And have I mentioned just how much I hate you for the way you look right now?"

She gave in and smirked at that. "Yes. But even though you found this in a small, it's still too loose in the stomach."

"You suck."

She grinned and fought not to laugh.

After a second, she ambled off to the bathroom to check her full appearance, not just the face. Black polyester-spandex skirt and dark blue cotton halter top that Sam insisted she get for their 'special night'. The top wrapped around her neck, the back stopped just under her shoulder blades, and a moderately low neckline made up the front.

'I FEEL NAKED IN THIS!' She yelled, wanting to pull at her hair. It was thankfully done in a simple ponytail, despite the rest of her. She argued and whined that excess movement later tonight would undue any bun or design her hair might make, and it would be too hot to keep it around her neck at all. Not to mention it was only to her shoulder blades – not long enough to braid into anything good or put in a bun.

It was time to get it cut soon. Technically she should've done so about a month ago, but with summer school, work, Inaki, AND trying to study around his visits, she had neither time nor money.

She sighed and pressed hands on sink porcelain to lean on them. Her shoulders set as she looked close, partially doing as Sam mentioned and partially to look at such a transformation she was not used to.

Sam was DEFINITELY an artist in many areas. Her eyes were cleverly done with little mascara, a thin black line of eyeliner around the upper and lower eyelid, and a small swath of dark blue eye shadow on the top.

She liked accentuating her eyes if she had to dress up, but Sam said dark blue made her eyes look green. She didn't think so, but who was she to judge the color expert? Sam knew more about mixing colors in one hour than she would in a lifetime.

So she let herself be a Barbie doll in dressing, hair, and skin. Sam wanted to paint her nails and she relented, only because the girl gave a small manicure in the process. She resisted the toe polish because the sandals she had covered up her toes a bit.

The girl also wanted to cover every exposed bit of skin with body glitter, and she didn't want ANY. That stuff was goop with sparkles stuck in it and she did NOT want to have to wash that off! But Sam kept gushing how much she should put even a little on and she gave in to the cheeks and sides of her arms. It dried a long time ago, and some had fallen off, but most was still there.

She felt like a disco ball when she saw sparkles upon twirl and smelled like vanilla.

That was the only bonus about the dried peely feeling.

Her lips pulled back to check her teeth and wondered if she should brush them again before Inaki showed. Sure her last brushing was fifteen minutes ago - but hey! – who wanted someone with bad breath?

She was just about to grab a Kleenex and wipe off the gloss when a pressure presented itself. Sam looked at her through the mirror, chin draped on her shoulder. "Used to it yet?"

She smiled a little at the relaxed tone of her friend. What she wouldn't give to be that loose. "I'm getting better at it."

Sam smiled. "I think you look very pretty – highly mature. You should wear eyeliner more often. It's not like you need a lot of foundation anyway – your skin is pretty clear."

She shrugged a little, mindful of her friend, and sighed. "I feel odd like this."

Sam smirked and knocked their heads together softly. "You mean you feel odd because you look nice?"

"Yes."

"Well if I had my way, I'd put a chocker around your neck, bracelets, a few rings, an anklet, maybe a toe ring, and a few clip-on earrings."

A brow rose. "I prefer to NOT be a walking piece of metal."

Sam snorted and stood back, eyeing her friend when the girl turned and leaned against the sink. "Are you sure you won't concede to a bracelet or ring at least? Your arms are incredibly bare – they're just SCREAMING for accessories."

She gave a dry look. "My arms are bare because there's no CLOTH on them! At all – no even on my biceps! THAT'S why they're screaming for accessories."

A chubby hand waved between them as the two finally headed out of the bathroom. "Melodramatic. I hope you're not this way when you could be grinding with Inaki later."

Their very first make-out scene flashed in her head, even if that's NOT what Sam was talking about. Her heart beat a little faster, hands shook a little more, and her body heated in a few select places just thinking about it. She harshly swallowed and headed downstairs to try and take her mind off it all until she left.

Except spotting the couch wasn't much good for her imagination. She nearly gulped in remembrance of they were laying and abruptly whirled for the kitchen. Maybe something cold to drink – preferably from the freezer! – would help.

So what if they were going out to eat before the main attraction, she had zero appetite right now. For the last two hours, she'd been unable to eat anything, and hadn't much for breakfast. The hotel never allowed much time to swipe something from the breakfast line or before leaving home. Not that she was really hungry getting up! She'd been nervous and anticipating this day the past two and it all came to a head today.

WHEN this passed, she was going to be so hungry, her stomach was going to eat a hole through her!

With that in mind, she grabbed a carton of vanilla and a spoon. She plopped it down on the table and dug into it, seeing she was the first to do so.

There was always a sinful pleasure of being the first to suck down ice cream through either a different spoon or spreading her germs with the same. Neither had issues with eating or drinking something off the other's plates or glasses.

As showed when a drawer closed and Sam knocked her spoon out of the way to grab a bite.

"You know you're going to ruin your appetite." The girl mumbled around metal.

She cast a glance before dipping the spoon in. "I barely ate anything all day – I'm starving. The only thing keeping it all back is my mood."

"Okay...then you're going to ruin your FIGURE."

She sent the girl the most bored look imaginable. "You should be one to talk." She threw back, poking a side with the handle.

"Hey! I'm naturally like this! If you have issues with that, go talk to padre!" Sam argued, waving the spoon to fend hers off. She chuckled and went back to the ice cream, trying to eat as much of it before it melted.

She stopped about three dozen bites later and pulled the box away from a protesting Sam. "You'll down it all and you know it!" She argued, sticking it in the freezer.

Sam whined and licked the residue off the spoon. "I'll behave, I swear! Just put it back on the table...PLEASE??"

Green rolled, not buying it, as she headed into the living room.

She plopped onto the couch, staring at the cushions in silence. A few seconds later, the hum of the fridge could be heard as it turned on to cool the appliance and she mentally sighed. As if Sam was going to get away with sneaking more of the carton...a quick peek at the damage done would be proof of that!

She ignored the girl though and leaned against the cushions, absently running her fingers over the fabric. In the dead time, she let her mind wander back to not so long ago, reminding herself.

The feel of his lips, the touch of his hands, the pressure from his body, his –

Her cheeks heated despite all her time with Inaki and pressed her lips together. That wasn't as embarrassing as it could've been, mostly because he was cool with that.

How far could that've gone had Sam not arrived in time to keep it from progressing? True, she would've most likely given in and let him keep going as far as he wanted, but that was the repressed hormones talking.

'Maybe...'

A small smile lit her face as she stared at the carpet. She didn't take sex lightly, but she didn't regret much.

After so long, it would be hard to regret something like that with Inaki, even IF they only just started dating...

She made it a point – after her time with Brad – to not build a relationship on sex. She wanted to give it more than a few months. The time with Arthur during the middle, and probably high of the relationship, she might've lost her head with. But then, she thought it meant something.

Her head shook. 'Stop dwelling on that! I'm sure Inaki would LOVE to hear why I'm so depressed. Oh yea...thinking of my exes would go over REAL well.'

She finally turned on the tv to switch mental gears and flicked channels without really watching anything. She made one full sweep before deciding to slow down.

After finding something relatively good, Sam plopped down with the ice cream wrapped in a towel to keep it somewhat cold. She gave a mild glare at that. Light blue met her gaze, the spoon going for her mouth.

"What?" Light blue blinked. "You know you look satanic when you glare at me like that with eyeliner around your entire eyes."

She huffed and shifted against the cushions, flipping a few more times. She managed to get lost until the doorbell rang and jumped up, forgetting about the show in a second.

This was it, time to either impress him or get a few odd looks for so much makeup. She almost felt like a slut with so much eyeliner, but...really...it wasn't that much...

She quickly opened the door to get him out of the heat and her hand froze.

Her eyes widened as they took him in. Inaki's hair was in its normal, lengthening braid of course...and that just made it all the more sexy with what he was wearing. True, he was in normal clothes – unlike her – but he had that animalistic sex appeal about him.

Perhaps it was the charming smile and alluring look in his eyes that gave it all away.

Fingers snapped and she blinked, jerking the door back the rest of the way. "I would ask how you like, but I think you gave me my answer."

Normal baggy blue-jean shorts with a wallet chain to give him that skater look; an open, mustard yellow button-up that made his eyes look a little more hazel; and a white wife beater underneath - the same ones he always wore with the heat.

Right now, she wanted nothing more than to swipe her arms through the button-up and look at his chest and arms. Why she didn't know, but being around him was making her turn more physical than she had in what seemed forever.

'I am REALLY sexually repressed!' She retorted, backing away to finally let him in. 'Get a hold of yourself chica! He looks good, but then, he ALWAYS looks good! You're only worked up because you're still thinking about that make-out scene.'

Green floated to his lips instantly and she mentally slapped herself.

He stepped in and shut the door to keep the air conditioning inside, seeing as how she wasn't going to. He took time to give her a better look through without the screen door in the way.

She looked good enough to eat and he wouldn't mind a few nibbles, but, being a betting man, KNEW Sam was somewhere in the vicinity – as her car was in its normal spot – listening. Smoldering eyes looked her over, trying not to linger too long on the little bit of visible cleavage, or the amount of leg he never got to see on a normal basis.

Unable to help himself, knowing she WAS his girlfriend, he stepped close to wrap his arms around her waist and bring her close. He smelled vanilla and leaned next to her hair and smelled. "Gods you smell good. And you look DAMN good. I almost didn't recognize you with makeup."

"I'm still uncomfortable with the amount myself." She mumbled, still unable to take his praise fully. No amount of time was going to change twenty years.

But she was touched by his actions and gave in to resting her hands and arms on his chest.

His head shook with an amused look. "Naw...you look nice like that." His head craned over dark brown. "Thanks Sam!" He called.

"Glad to help!"

"Living room." She whispered, rolling her eyes.

He grinned and leaned down to give her a quick kiss. With her looking like that, his well-practiced restraint loosened a little. When he pulled back, he licked his lips to confirm something. "Yup. Strawberry."

She couldn't help but blush at that, but shook her head at his look. "Shall we?" She dryly offered.

"Have fun! Make sure to go wild and crazy!"

"She will." Inaki called, opening the door.

Giggling was heard approaching and the two turned for the narrow hallway. Sam leaned against a post to the other living room and grinned. "I didn't mean K, Inaki...I meant YOU."

Inaki blinked and cast confused brown to his date, who offered no explanations other than a knowing, rather evil-looking grin. "What's she mean by that?" He queried, ignored as she headed out the front door.

"Don't wanna be late." She playfully drawled, dangling her house keys. With the same grin, she headed onto the porch.

Brown whipped from K to Sam to K, confusion and wonder growing by the second. The look on K's face was not helping any. He closed the door and let Sam get the lock, following her to the car. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Yea – you need to hold my keys; there're no pockets anywhere on this."

Brown checked her out at that and he grinned. "So I noticed." She tossed him the keys over a shy grin, which he easily caught and stuffed in a pocket. "Now, what's she mean? And why are you dodging the subject?"

She leaned against the car, seeing it was clean, and stared at him. "You'll just have to figure that out when we hit the strip tonight, won't you?" She playfully sidestepped.

The sly grin she was giving him combined with the attitude was attractive as hell and again, he couldn't help himself. Arms rested on either side of her shoulder as he leaned against the car as well and close to her face. "I will, will I?" He drawled, staring. Her devilishness disappeared with being so near, but he saw some of that fade with a more genuine contentment and nerves. His face lowered. "Weren't you the one complaining not long ago how satanic I was to you? Not fair now, don't you think?"

His breath fanned her face. Her heart skipped a beat as she tensed in preparation and lifted her lips a little. "I get my kicks...where I can..." She mumbled, meeting his lips.

He grinned for a bit before losing himself in the kiss – in her. His body pressed against her a little more, feeling her curves fit against his. She felt so nice; it was so odd how she was able to hide such a body. But then...baggy clothes did wonders like that.

Arms soon left her sides to drape over his shoulders and touch the back of his neck. Fingers met with his braid and she had another urge to undue it to run her fingers through his hair like he often did with her. She had that a lot and wanted to see what he looked like with wild hair, but restrained the urge. He always had his hair in a braid and there was no point in asking him to undue it only to have him rebraid it when she was done.

He finally pulled away to breathe and licked his lips at the remainder of her gloss. "I hope you brought that gloss with you...cause that tastes rather good."

She looked away with a grin and heaved a sigh at his behavior. "Male." She muttered, casting him a look.

"Damn right!" His chest puffed up as he stole one final kiss before going for the car. "If I wasn't, you'd be in trouble."

She snorted and got in. "If you weren't, I'd be able to concentrate on school."

Brown rolled as he started the car and leaned across the seat. "And that's the last time you'll be mentioning that word in my presence, hai? I had to do a lot of talking and using my natural charm to get you to come out for a night of fun. Let's keep the school till it starts on Monday, ne?"

She merely finished the distance with a light kiss before pulling away to lean against the seat. "We're going to hit the crowds if you don't start going. Mush!"

He gave her an amused, yet odd look when she pretended to crack a whip...complete with noises. "I've created a monster."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dinner was nice, even if it wasn't very elegant. For dressing up as much as she did, it wasn't highly necessary. They went to a middle-class restaurant, mostly because she didn't want him spending too much money on her or food.

Not with tonight looming over them.

They spent the next few hours playing near the beaches and hitting a few local parks. With dinner almost classified as lunch, they had plenty of time to kill before tonight. Which was a good thing because she wanted desert and a relatively empty stomach.

He managed to get her to hit up Watson Park, even if she was not really comfortable being on that small of an island with no means of keeping afloat if she entered deep water. Miami Beach didn't count, that was at least twice as big as the area.

She had to admit, she had fun...but then, she had fun doing nothing as long as it was with Inaki. He never failed to make her smile, make her laugh, and make her feel special. All he had to do was look at her in any which way too.

That was a very powerful weapon he had, if he even knew it. If he knew how easily he could turn her mood – what she allowed more and more... She knew she was depending on him, she came to that realization one day, but when she thought about it during one of his visits...it didn't seem all that bad...

Inaki was definitely different than both Arthur and Brad...and that was probably one reason she was allowing herself to fall. He hadn't hurt her yet, even during the shaky times in the beginning, and proved his worth by being there when it counted.

It was high time she let herself trust him.

When she thought about it a few times while being with him, it wasn't that hard, nor did it seem that big a deal. Trusting him was so easy, but she knew that fully trusting anyone like she used to was still dangerous.

She did indeed give quite a bit of herself, after saying she wasn't going to, but she was definitely happier because of it. Inaki helped her a little to gain a sense of self and although she wasn't fully altered, she was getting there. It didn't change in a day...

She gave a quiet sigh and leaned against him more, fingers rubbing against his arms in their snug positions around her. Her head rested against his more fully as she idly stared ahead.

"What're you thinking about?"

A half smile appeared, though she didn't pull away from her cradled position to look at him. She didn't need to. "This is nice... Serene, quiet – relatively." Green spied one of the many swimmers walk past in the early sunset. It would've been even more magical had the beach been deserted, but right now, it might as well have been. "I wish we could stay here forever, just like this."

He smiled gently and stared at the top of her head. He pressed a gentle, slow kiss to it, hugging her a little tighter with arms and legs. "True...but then I wouldn't get to see what the hell you were talking about earlier."

She giggled and rubbed her head against his chin, earning another kiss. "You'll just have to wait and see."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"The car will be PERFECTLY safe here, you can leave it locked and no one will steal it."

"I KNOW that you dork, but there are more people here than I expected."

Green rolled. "What do you expect?? It's Saturday night. This is normal date night. Not to mention there will be college kids here reveling in the free time before classes."

"Oi! I thought I told you not to mention that again in my presence tonight!"

She squealed in laughter and rounded the car the opposite as he did to catch her and pick on her for mentioning her vice. He caught up with her easily, having longer legs and more slyness, and his hands attacked her sides.

"Stop!" She cried, trying to bat his hands away. "Come on...the line is forming without us! We'll never get in – knock it off already!"

He conceded with a pout, a hand going to her back to direct her forward. "Spoilsport." He muttered, grabbing her hand at seeing how many people were loitering the area to get in.

'This place is packed! Why did she ever think this would be a good idea for a first date??'

Getting her to agree to take time off for a first, REAL date – ironic considering their dating time – was harder than it should've been, but then, she made it that way. He was making her rearrange an easy, well-known schedule to include him in it and had a feeling he would have to until she made time for him naturally.

Of course...he DID have a tendency to stop by at the most odd times just to see her.

They got in line with all the other scantily clad, makeup-caked women and their friends. Men wore more normal clothing – aside from the extremely low jeans that annoyed him – though trying to look cooler than everyone else there.

This was NOT his idea of a good first date. He initially suggested a romantic dinner, perhaps a chick flick – more for her than him actually, and some time along a beach for the sunset. That would've been something to make memories of, and he had a feeling she would like that. All the others did.

But she denied it, aside from dinner and the beach, and changed the plan.

Brown took in the area, eyeing his date to make sure she was still next to him and not being harassed – or eyed – to kill time. He squelched a sigh at how mildly slow the line was going, but that could deal with the fact that everyone was getting I.D'd, as the place sold alcohol.

When she made mention of wanting to go to a club, perhaps more than one depending on boredom, he almost wanted to ask for K to come to the phone. Hearing K telling of WANTING to go to a packed, smoke-clogged, alcohol-serving club on a DATE did not sound like her!

But then...she proved herself a rather good dancer during the Halloween party, so it made a little sense.

This was going to be interesting...HIGHLY interesting. She didn't get very wild and crazy at the party, mostly since they were just friends at the time. But this part of their relationship had fewer boundaries and more openings for some fun.

A wicked grin eased onto his face as they moved forward and he dug for his wallet as they neared the line. He was DEFINITELY looking forward to see what this girl could do!

"I.D. please."

He handed his over and watched as K grabbed hers from some unknown pocket in her skirt. He was a little stunned at that. That thing wasn't skin tight, but it wasn't one to have extra fabric either. It was probably that short for dancing, but he was going to have one hell of a time trying to control himself with her once they got inside!

Their hands were stamped with glow-in-the-dark ink and K grabbed his hand, all but dragging him inside and trying to pass the crowds. He was able to keep up with his long stride, but she was weaving through people better than him and he was about to take his hand away to walk normally, but he'd never find her again.

The pounding music was loud outside, but now it made it impossible for conversation. The only way to talk was to get real close and scream in the person's ear. If it was K, he had no problem with that.

The dance area was rather large, but even that was no help. People covered every inch of the floor and she knew finding a spot would be hard. The floor was sunk into the ground, and that made it easy to look for a space from the entrance.

She finally spotted one and tugged his hand to gain attention. A hand pointed to the crowd, feeling the need to move with the beat that called, and started zigzagged through people again. She claimed their spot and turned, immediately letting go and not letting him get acquainted with the beat.

This was one of the things people could never seem to associate with her because she kept herself under a leash almost all the time. She knew how to dance naturally, but never had much practice at it. She just let herself go with every song that had a good dance beat and moved with everything she had.

She was water when this kind of music came, and that's why she liked techno so much. It was so liberating.

She was not one for a partner; he found that out. Her technique was wild and she wasn't one to synchronize. But he was not here to dance by himself and hands gripped her hips to get her to flow with him. He was not as good as her and never liked to dance much, but he relented as long as he was with her.

She kept in time with the beat and changed her step to include him fully, swaying side to side with him. Her shoulders moved with her hips, arms draping over his shoulders. His hands clutched her waist as he leaned forward with a grin.

She couldn't help but smile back, too happy to feel shy. She was better than him and that helped her confidence to open up this part to let him see her.

Time slipped by. Songs melded together, the only time they stopped was when the beat paused. Even with training a few times a week, he did not have enough endurance to keep up with her. He finally pulled away and made a face to try and communicate, managing to get through. He leaned close and shouted he'd be at the bar and to stay here, as he'd be back after a bit.

Water was his only agenda and thankfully it didn't cost anything. He downed two glasses before scanning the strobe-lit room at a higher level to find his exact spot.

When he found K, he was forced to stand and watch the raw energy and emotion emanating from her and her moves. It was almost primal the way she swayed and turned, the way her arms twisted about in a nonsense pattern.

The music faded a little to background noise as he studied her. This new side he wanted to see more and just might enjoy dancing if he got to see this more often.

She was almost an entirely different person.

He finally headed back, unable to stand being away from her like this and needing to be connected. He got her to dance synch with him, though her mood didn't dim.

She smiled and continued their dance, putting a few things in it after linking to the groove of the beat. She felt truly alive right now and wanted to share it with him. She leaned forward to give him a quick kiss and did a turn to press her back against his chest.

She was better than any alcohol he could order from the bar and had a feeling he wouldn't need any. He didn't want to leave her side just for rest or provisions, even if it meant he could see her move by herself.

He was wrong about his earlier thought. This would be a memorable first date, more than what he figured on doing in the first place.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She quickly downed the rest of the water and clutched the glass, almost wanting to lick the sweat off the outside.

God she was thirsty! But that was normal, given as she danced an hour straight before getting anything to drink and rest.

Green took in the blackness above, not able to see the stars with so many lights around. She had no clue what time it was, but it felt late. Later than she expected to be out.

She was exhausted, sure to be sore tomorrow, covered in sweat...

But had the time of her life.

She was running on a high that was so natural and wanted to go back in...if she wasn't ready to melt into a bed, or the nearest chair.

"You are a wild woman...you know that?"

She gave a tired grin as he tightened his hold around her waist to help her walk. "My idea was still better than yours." She mused, giving him a sideways look.

He snorted, going for his keys as they neared his car – which was still there, to his relief. "Can't argue. But we'll have to do it my way next time."

She leaned against the car as he unlocked it. "Or we could go to another club..."

He gave her an odd look, trying not to smile at the eager look in her eyes. "You are about ready to fall down and you wanna go BACK??" His head shook when she nodded and helped her into the car. "You're crazy."

"That was fun." She corrected after he got in. She slid to a better position in the car and heaved a sigh. "But this feels MUCH better." Feet moved to kick off her sandals and wiggled her toes when they were off. "Ah yea..."

He snuck a mild wide-eyed look and relaxed a little. Her voice caught him off-guard and he had to admit, his mind went gutter when he heard that.

By the time they crossed the ocean and hit her house, K fell asleep. He smiled, staring as he put it in park. That was a given; she was tired and it was almost midnight.

She sure looked adorable though...

The only time he was with her when she fell asleep, he didn't get to see her face. This was the first opportunity he had to stare and take in her innocence. This was another aspect he got to study. He carefully shifted to keep from waking her and propped his head up on the seat.

After a few minutes of that, he wanted to kiss her awake. He couldn't remember ever doing that with any of his other girlfriends, so this seemed prime opportunity. Slowly, he leaned forward, keeping an eye on her to not startle her, and met their lips.

She slowly woke when he pulled away, rapidly blinking to try and pull her gaze to focus. "Where are we?" She drawled, yawning.

He smiled. "Your house. Time to get you up to bed sleepy."

"I am not..." She mumbled, hand sluggishly going for the handle.

His head shook after she felt around for it, not really trying, and got out. He opened her door and helped her out and up the stairs. He wanted to carry her, but wouldn't be able to unlock the house otherwise.

It was all dark, but he knew the area well, so that didn't faze him. The streetlights outside helped guide him and in no time, he was sitting her on the bed and taking her sandals off. He left the makeup, not wanting to deal with the hazards of eyeliner, and slowly pulled her up to the pillow.

He would've liked to get her out of those sweaty clothes, but she would probably ream him good for seeing her naked.

Tempting...highly tempting.

Putting the light blanket over her, he moved to kiss her goodnight. He was a little surprised when green fluttered open – how was it she woke up now when she was all but asleep through all that?

Her brain was muddled, but she was still thinking clear enough to get out what she wanted. "You're leaving?"

A hand moved and brushed her hair. He went and gently took out her ponytail to make it more comfortable to sleep. "It's midnight. I have to get home." He smiled gently. "I had a great time. Very original."

She smiled and turned to face him. A hand scratched the back of her head to get her hair back to normal. She sat up a little as her other hand touched his. "It's a little late...and I bet you're tired too. Stay here?"

He almost forgot to breathe. But her offer was kind enough, and he WAS getting to exhaustion point... He nodded. "I'll just be next door then."

Her hand clutched his before he could make for the guest room. "I mean...with me."

His body froze as wide brown stared in the dark at her horribly lit form. After a pause, finding his breath was held, he nodded. His shoes were gone in a second and set at the end of the bed as he climbed in next to her.

She shifted after he finally settled and leaned against him. The extra body heat was going to be uncomfortable, especially with sweat-laden clothes, but it would be worth it. She smiled and snuggled against the pillow, feeling his arm tug her close.

"Night..." She breathed.

His lips met her hair and gave a slow kiss. "Sweet dreams." He whispered back.


	40. Ch 40 5 30 2098 4th Commentary

_"Listen...I've got Memorial Day off and I was wondering if you wanted to spend that and half of Sunday with me...at my mom's."_

_There was a beat of silence as she held her breath. She wanted to rush on and say that it wasn't all bad and she wasn't proposing anything more than what she wanted him to do._

_Finally meet her mother._

_But she forcefully bit her tongue to let him think. Perhaps that's all he was doing? As much as she knew him, he never read into things as badly as she did. 'Sadly enough.'_

_"What do you have planned in mind?"_

_Well, that didn't sound as skeptic or horrible as she initially thought. He didn't even groan at the thought of spending about a day at her old house._

_She suspected she ought to warn him of the condition it was in, considering the size and condition of the one she was in now and his family's._

_Teeth nibbled on her lip. What DID she intend on doing?_

_"Not much really." She sadly confessed. "Mom is going to make a dinner for us, nothing big, and then I'm probably going to take in more of the city." Her brow furrowed. "I think last time I was there was...Thanksgiving? I think..."_

_There was a tsking on the other line which made her pause to listen. "You're a horrible daughter if that's the last time you spent with your mother." He admonished, though she could hear a little humor there. "I'll go with though. I finally get to meet the mysterious woman."_

_She smiled, feeling a little relieved. She kept telling herself it was no big deal if Inaki didn't feel like it now, or for a while...but she wanted him to meet her mother._

_It was about time, she supposed._

_"And you get to show me around your hometown. Should be fun – haven't had that much relax time in a while."_

_She had to smirk, feeling the need to jab him at his expense. "But I thought all you did was work? And even then, you make your own hours."_

_"Oi – watch it missy! Your mouth is going to get you in trouble one of these days and then I'll have to put a clamp on it. Not a good idea for me, so don't force me."_

_She giggled. "You're weird. Why would that be a bad thing if I was the one with the clamp?"_

_"Then I wouldn't get to kiss you. Duh."_

She smiled and pulled the strings closed on the backpack she normally took whenever she stayed at her old house.

Green strayed to the alarm clock before heading to the closet in search of anything else she could possibly need for the day.

'You're really sad. About twenty minutes away if I need anything and I'm going to be gone a grand total of a day.' A hand lightly slapped her head as she turned for the bag and settled it on her shoulder. She gave the room one last sweep just in case, before shutting the door and heading downstairs.

She couldn't help but look at the door, as if expecting Inaki to be standing there, waiting to be let in.

She was getting pathetic, but that's what the boy did to her. She was so excited and nervous – as usual – she wanted him here and NOW. Patience at this second was not known to her.

The bag dropped next to the little table by the door. She didn't know how much time she had before he arrived, but another quick heads up for her mother might be a good thing.

Especially so the woman didn't say something embarrassing about her or to Inaki.

She grabbed the cordless and decided to wait out front and bear the heat. It was about ninety, but at least it wasn't humid.

Not really a saving grace...

Leaning against the siding, picking at her shirt and wondering if she should go for something cooler – even if it meant showing more skin - she pressed a speed dial and waited for it to ring. Of course Ella would be home, hopefully.

"Hello?"

She breathed a mental sigh of relief. Not like it would be a bad thing if she broke Inaki into new surroundings without her mother, but it wasn't nice to think it a good thing the woman wasn't around. "Hey mom."

"Kalie, honey! How's it going? What's going on? When are you coming over?"

"I'm fine; I'm just waiting for Inaki to arrive." A hand rose and flapped the shirt under her neck. "I just wanted to make sure you were still there when we got there is all."

"Yup, I'm here...just puttering around getting things cooked and in the stove. Dinner won't be ready for a few hours so I hope you can find something to do in that time."

"I told him I'd show him around Westchester, so we can go do that and be back at a certain time if that's alright."

"Fine, fine." There was a small pause. "Is that why you're so nervous?"

Green blinked. "I – what makes you think that...how do you know it's not the heat?"

Ella snorted. "Honey you're my daughter. I can tell. Are you worried about me meeting him?"

"No..." She meekly answered, nibbling on her lip.

"Then what is it? I'm not psychic dear. You have to tell me these things."

She slumped a little. She hated when her mom said that. Man! "I just didn't want you to...I mean – I didn't want me to be...um..."

"Get embarrassed if I show the boy photos?"

"Yes!" She muttered, covering her face. "PLEASE don't drag those out! We'll only have a day or so; it's not worth it. Please, oh PLEASE contain yourself on that one mom."

Ella huffed. "If I must, I must."

She speared the view a dry look. "I am not amused."

The woman chuckled. "No, but I am."

She groaned. "Mom..."

"I won't show the boy the photo albums, rest assured. I'll let you do that."

"And no embarrassing stories either??" She hoped. There was a small bit of silence. "RIGHT, mom?" She prodded, feeling a little wary.

"Got it. So basically, you don't want me to say anything?"

'As little as possible until I find a way to get him broke in over there.' No, not a good idea to say to her mother.

"No, no, it's not that." She weakly denied. "I just – I just fear I'll never live it down if you say anything that he'll use as ammo for months on end."

"The boy can't possibly be that bad."

"Inaki. I should help you pronounce his name before he grimaces at you too. It's Ya - moi I – na – ki. Last name first, first name last."

"Interesting. Chinese? Vietnamese?"

Good thing her mother wasn't racist. She smiled. "Japanese. Just say it once for me; you'll do us both a favor." It was kind of sad to hear her mother get the pronunciation better on her first try than she did. But that was a good thing! "Well you're all set."

"So...are you going to give me any other details than the boy's name? You've never mentioned him except that you're dating him."

Teeth took hold of her lip as she smiled. This she didn't mind telling.

"He's incredibly hot mom!" She gushed, gripping the phone. "Black hair he normally wears in a braid and goes mid back; really dark brown eyes – think a deer – with a slant to them; a little taller than I am; works out regularly; speaks fluent Japanese and English; is a pretty good cook; friendly; nice personality; and -"

"Okay, okay...I think that's good enough." Ella humorously broke in. "He sounds like an incredibly great guy. You have quite a catch there it sounds. Very talented."

Her lips pursed at not being able to continue, but knew some of those traits her mom would have to experience for herself. Like Inaki's humor.

"Well I suppose I'll let you go then. I just wanted to give you a head's up. When do you think we should be back?"

"What time is it now?"

"I have no clue, I'm outside. You're near the stove – check the clock."

"About one then." Ella reported. "This will definitely take a few hours, so what say about four-ish?"

"Fine, fine. Works for me."

"Okay then...I'll see you then sweetie."

"Bye mom."

"I love you."

"Yup, bye." She answered, clicking the button. She stared at the phone in her lap absently.

She still couldn't tell her mother she loved her, even after the changing she did. Course, she couldn't say that well to anyone, so that aspect hadn't changed.

A hand tugged her shirt again to get a breeze and she quickly made up her mind to change. If she was going to be out in this, she wanted more ventilation!

Just as she was pulling a new top over her ribs, the doorbell rang. "That never fails." She muttered, hurrying for the door. Sam was already at her parent's house for vacation so it was up to her to get it. She adjusted the fabric around her stomach as low as it would go and fixed her shorts a bit.

"About time, I'm sweating out here!"

"LOVELY mental image." A brow rose as she pulled the door open to let him in. "How'd you know the a.c. would be working?" She queried, shutting the inside door behind him.

"You live with Sam. Explanation enough." He answered, stepping close. "Hey you." He greeted, leaning down to capture her lips.

She kissed him back, happy to see him. It seemed like forever until he was here again. "Hello back." She mumbled, smiling. She went to move for her bag so they could get going, but his arms around her waist pulled her back against his chest. "Inaki, what -"

"I missed you." He breathed, smelling vanilla in her hair as always. His arms tightened a little.

Her heart fluttered as she rested her head against his chin. "But...it's only been a week." She pointed out, hands resting over his arms. The warmth of his skin against the coolness of her hands felt good.

HE felt good. As always.

"Point being? That's too long to wait to spend time with you." His lips lowered to an exposed shoulder and rubbed over the smoothness of her skin. "Are you going to say you didn't miss me?"

First, she had to get her brain to work, not to mention her mouth! It was a miracle she could hear him over the roaring of her heart in her ears. "N – n – no..." She whispered, nearly panting in his embrace. "I was actually...waiting for you...to arrive..."

He lightly nipped her shoulder and pulled back to rest his chin in her head. "Good. I would've been upset if you hadn't missed me."

Was he actually worried about that?? She managed to turn – finally getting her head to function again – and wrapped her arms around his waist. Her ear rested over his heart and listened to the comforting thud. "Of course I missed you. But I'm still impatient to get going to show you around."

He smiled and settled his arms again, bypassing her comment. Westchester could wait a few more minutes. It was close; it's not like they'd be late.

Silence buzzed in one ear, Inaki's heart in the other. She was starting to lose the want to go and starting to think that sitting on the couch cuddling all day would be an even better idea.

Tempting...very tempting...

No! She mentally shook herself and forcefully pulled herself away, even if she missed being in his arms as she grabbed her bag. "Okay...we need to get going before I don't want to."

He smiled and held the screen door open as she locked the main. "And why would that be?" He teased, knowingly grinning.

She gave him a bored look, trying not to smile. "You're not that thick." She muttered, hopping the steps.

He didn't let her get far or say anything else. Feeling mischievous, as he was around her, he cleared the steps in a single jump and grabbed her from behind. He leaned back to keep her from touching the ground and twirled them.

She was so surprised her bag went flying on the first spin. Thankfully nothing breakable was in there. She couldn't help but giggle when he continued a few times and threw her arms and legs out.

They were both dizzy when he stopped and he helped them both balance. He wanted to give a retort, as he loved their banter more and more, but couldn't find the proper words.

She turned in his arms and leaned up to give him a quick kiss, hand rising as well. "That was fun." She tweaked him on the nose and stepped back. "But you're still horrible."

He smirked, but didn't let her grab her bag. "Then I must live up to my reputation."

She screeched in surprise - mentally wondering if they were EVER going to get there - as he spun her around, leaned down, and hauled her over his shoulder. "Inaki!! Put me down!"

"Nice legs." A hand went and rubbed a finger over the back of her thigh.

"Stop that! That tickles!" She squealed, squirming. Had her brain been working right, she should've known that too much wiggling in a precarious hold was going to put her on the pavement in a not-too-friendly position.

He reached for her bag and headed for the car. In the few steps he took, green gravitated down to his rear...once again getting a prime opportunity to stare without his knowing. There was a big urge to make a comment, to try and embarrass him, but she would probably do that to herself not him.

But a hand rose before she could stop herself and swung down a little harder than intended.

He yelped and nearly dropped both from his arms. "What're you DOING you little minx?? What was that??"

Her face heated up more at having done something to unlike her...and that his rear felt as nice as it looked... "P – put me down Inaki!" She stuttered, trying to recover. "The blood is rushing to my face!"

He complied, but not before his hand returned the favor. She gasped before shifting to the ground and went to get her footing. "Shall we..." She looked into his eyes, noticing a definable intensity which had nothing to do with color, and turned away. "Let's get going, shall we? Mom is going to wonder where we are." She slid into the front seat and grabbed her bag. "You remembered your skateboard right?" She asked, buckling up.

A thumb jerked behind them. "Backseat." He reported, starting the car.

"Good...otherwise you'd be s.o.l. and force me to walk my bike around the city." She leaned back and closed her eyes to enjoy the ride...soon to be jerked away before they left park by a brush over her stomach. She yelped and batted his hands away. "Stop that! No tickling!"

He gave a sly grin. "If I can't tickle, you can't spank. So no spanking."

She promptly blushed and looked outside the window to ignore him.

~*~*~

"You must the Inaki I've heard so much about."

She resisted slapping her forehead against her hand. "Mom..."

Inaki's hand moved to shake Ella's with a polite smile. "And you must be the mother I don't hear ENOUGH about." He humorously countered.

"Inaki..."

Ella's hand waved. "Oh don't be so worried honey. You were correct on the phone though."

"Mom!"

Amused brown looked her way when he let go. A hand prodded her side. "You were? Pray tell, what did you tell the woman?"

"Stop that! What did I say in the car??"

His grin turned evil. "Does my rule still apply?"

"Inaki!" Even if Ella had no clue what they were talking about, that didn't make the blush stay away any less.

Ella smiled and patted her daughter's shoulder. "There, there sweetie. Don't get so worked up about it."

Inaki stepped back when she went to slap him on the shoulder. "Yea sweetie."

She was getting it from both sides here! Unbelievable! "You two are horrible - leave me alone!" She sidestepped the two and headed for the kitchen. The smells of dinner were enticing and she peeked the stove open to indulge.

"Kalie Himmen, you leave that alone until dinner." Ella called, waving a finger.

"Sheesh K...can't even leave the food alone in your own house can you?" He kidded, heading for the kitchen. Brown looked around, taking in everything.

She speared him a smirk. "At least it smells better here than there."

"Nani?? Unforgivable!" He dramatically announced. He rushed to her side and threw her over his shoulder again, ignoring calls to put her down.

"NOT in the kitchen!" Ella mused, arms crossing at the entertainment. The two were cute together. "Take it outside if you're going to horse around."

"Yes ma'am!" Inaki playfully saluted and carefully swung around to find a back door without banging his girlfriend's head on anything.

"Past the end of the kitchen you dork." She muttered, rolling her eyes. Green met her mother and she lightly glared. A finger pointed at the woman as she started floating backwards. "Not. One. Word." She warned, trying to ignore the blood moving forward.

Ella's smile broadened. "Lips sealed." She said, pretending the action.

As soon as he managed to unlock the back door and opened the outside screen, heat hit him full blast...but so did the view. Brown widened as he stepped out – mindful not to bang K's head on the doors.

"That is one big ass tree." He muttered, almost in awe.

A finger started poking him in the back in time with her order. "Put me down...put me down...put me down - AH! Hey!" Her hand retaliated and swung down on his rear in imitation, harsher than he did. "I thought you said no spanking!"

"And you said no tickling, but that didn't get far, did it?" He mused, stepping off the porch.

The lawn wasn't much to look at and neither was the garage. The two buildings needed a good paint job and some fertilizer...but with a tree trunk wider than a tractor tire, it was a given why grass had a hard time surviving!

The yard was small, at least compared to his, but there was enough room to run around in – even with the tree. There was a simple chain link fence roping the whole thing off. He looked up and spied branches running into both neighboring yards and brows rose. "That is the ultimate climbing tree." He muttered, taking a few steps into the yard.

Her finger poked him in the back again, most likely to remind him she was still attached to his shoulder. "Do you MIND?" She retorted.

"Not if you don't."

She sighed and lightly slapped her forehead. 'I walked right into THAT one...'

"Well I DO...so PLEASE put me down!"

"Since you asked so nicely..." He carefully situated her over uneven ground, feeling her body slide over his. Her curves were nearly his undoing, if the tree wasn't there to provide distraction. "So..." His throat cleared as he took a step toward it. "How do you climb this thing?"

"What IS it with you and trees?" She asked, arms crossing. She picked her way around clumps, thankful she still was in sandals.

He smiled over his shoulder and touched rough bark. Brown looked way up, trying to see the tips and barely able. "I love trees, what can I say? So...climbing?"

His smile was excited and she gave in. "I knotted and tied a rope on the other side a while ago because the ground slopes more on that side." She headed over and grabbed the thick cord, looking up.

Ah, childhood memories...

"This – as you'll see – is the only way up." An arm stretched to get a little farther and pulled. As she started up, green met brown. "And I'll let you climb if you promise not to slap me on the ass on the way up."

He eagerly saluted, even if he snuck a peek to her behind. "Yakusoku!"

"One of these days you're going to tell me what that means..." She nodded and shed her sandals, as bare feet would have more grip. She managed to shimmy up the knots and wrap her legs around one thick trunk. She grabbed hold of a board she managed to finagle with rope to pull to the safety of the tree and breathed a sigh when she was out of danger.

By the time she turned to check Inaki's progress, she nearly fell out from jumping back in surprise at finding him staring her in the eye. "What?"

She blinked, trying to get her heart under control. "How did you get up here so fast?"

With a good hold on the rope, an arm floated to the air and flexed. "I'm stronger than you."

Green stared at the muscles, fingers suddenly itching to run over them. Her tongue absently ran over the back of her teeth. She moved back when he followed her entrance to a small hollow created by the bottom branches. She leaned against one and tried to get comfortable as he did. "Nice view, huh?"

He spied the ground and was a little amazed at how far up they were. He looked to the house and stared into a window he bet was the attic. "We almost covered the house!" He muttered, mouth dropping open a little. Brown looked up. "And we're on the bottom set of branches? Oh...I like this tree!"

She grinned at his little boy look, but shook her head. "Just don't go freaking out and trying to climb to the top. The limbs are too wide to clasp your hands for stability – I know, I already tried."

"I've got longer arms too. And legs."

She was not amused or reassured. "Still...you're only human. So don't push yourself."

A hand waved. "Yea, yea." He scooted as close as he could and rested his head in her lap. "I think you need a clubhouse built on this thing. There is definitely enough support."

She snorted and rested a hand on his head, idly running through his bangs. "And what makes you think I'd have a use for one if it WAS built? It's not like I'd study out here for privacy."

He slyly met her eyes. "No...but we could use some now. I'm not too sure we're well hid from the neighbors up here."

She swallowed against his look. "We're...not..." She mumbled, heart already speeding up. He somehow found a way to sit facing her by dangling his legs on either side of the limb she was against and leaned against her for support when they kissed. She could feel the quick pace of his heart and was a little calmed at knowing he wasn't as composed as he looked.

Her hands rose and dug into his hair. That damn braid was in her way again, but up here, she got the wild idea to finally undo it. Without disengaging their lips, hands located the end and took the tie out. She put it on her wrist to keep from losing it.

He was a little confused and pulled away, wondering what she was doing. "K...what...was that?"

She was frustrated when he stopped and pushed his head down to continue. He had no compunctions about it and shifted to try and get closer; to feel more...if that was possible.

He forced back a groan as her fingers worked through the tri-stranded chunks, finally turning them loose. She continued to brush it out around his back, leaning forward a little to do so. His arms wrapped around her to steady them both and his legs clenched around the branch to keep them steady.

This felt so sexy, and the only thing she rationalized it with was Inaki always had his hair in a braid. She never saw it loose, not even in a ponytail. She saw him with really short hair and now long; it was safe to say she liked it long.

She hoped he'd grow it out farther.

Finished, she pulled back enough to see and was hit with a powerful emotion somewhere near the waist. God he was sexy with his hair down!! Of course, she found him sexy quite a bit, but this gave him magnetism which she didn't understand was coming from and she couldn't help herself.

The kiss was a lot more primal than last and it was a turn on like none other. Sure he kissed K and there was that one time on the couch, but those were nothing compared to this! His body tingled as hands and fingers rubbed his chest, almost maddeningly so. Checking to make sure his legs were still safely holding him up, his arms lowered and scooted her forward, crushing her to his chest.

Her brain was shutting down and all she could do was feel. And she wasn't feeling enough. The temperature made sweat roll down her back, but was forgotten. She only felt heat he produced and gave to her, what mingled with her already overheated body. Mindlessly, hands wiggled to the bottom of his shirt and underneath, kneading toned muscles.

His body jerked at the sensation and he moaned. One hand gently tugged her head back so he could further explore her mouth. She was almost too much, but her boldness was enticing. It was welcomed - this little spark that peeked from the darkness with a little prodding. He wanted to see more of it.

He was doing things to her body that were amazing and all they were doing was kissing! The feel of his muscles against her, his hands playing with her hair was sending her into a frenzy. She never felt such desire for someone – so pure, with no regret or second thoughts – and she wanted to give in so badly...

If they weren't so new, not to mention a story up in a tree!

That little tryst MIGHT just kill them if they relented.

She was the first to pull back, trying to get her breath as she did so. Her hands stopped and slowly pulled to the outside, even if her body was screaming in disappointment. "We...can't...we're...in a tree..." She announced, green fluttering closed. She couldn't meet his eyes right now. This was a lot heavier than at the house.

Had they finally crossed the line?

He cradled her against his chest, resting his chin on her head. He didn't say or do anything until they were both relatively back to normal. He was content to hold her and so he did.

He held her so long, she wondered if he dozed off or something. She inched away and met brown, smiling a little after a second. He returned her grin and gave a light, lingering kiss.

She learned right then that she really needed to stop worrying about things getting uncomfortable with him!

He untangled and made for the rope. "What say you go show me your town?"

She nodded and followed. "Sounds like a plan."

They were alright again. He knew they would be. But...as he jumped down and watched her almost there...a hand rose.

She squeaked and jumped, making the rope swing even more. Green glared down at amused brown. "No SPANKING!" Her voice bounced off the neighborhood WAY louder than intended and she grimaced.

He stepped back as she made to jump. "Sorry – couldn't resist."

She hopped down and immediately went for him, hands extended to hurt. "Come back here!"

~*~*~

The day was nice. Meeting Sheryl and Hal probably wasn't the best thing in the world, as it seemed Hal was a little jealous. But he still liked her, so she could see that.

The trail was one of their better times. Except for the wildlife and wind, there was little noise. Inaki was too busy looking at the scenery and city to make much talk and she let him. She didn't have much to say except a small commentary about what he was looking at anyway.

Dinner was equally nice. There was a little banter, a little small talk, and good bonding. She was thankful her mother didn't bring out the album or bring to light too many embarrassing stories she had as a kid.

The first meeting was going better than she hoped. Inaki seemed to really like her mother and get along with Ella well. She was glad.

The cooler temperatures were too tempting to stay inside for, and the two ended up on the small front porch, resting on pillows over concrete.

She shifted in his arms when her leg started going to sleep as they stared over a house at the sunset. "This day was better than I expected."

His arms tightened a little as if in response. His chin moved from hers enough to give her hair a kiss before resting again. "Not as good of a view as my house, but the neighborhood is definitely peaceful."

She minutely nodded. "Yea...one thing I could always count on as a kid. I could go outside without being bothered or worry about my safety if I wanted to walk somewhere."

"Your mom is a neat person." He commented after a minute.

"Don't I know it. I'm thankful for her."

He briefly smiled; face going back to its serene look. "Thanks for inviting me to meet her."

A hand patted his arm. "It was about time...but you're welcome."

@~~~~~ Time for the fourth commentary. ::dumps water over head:: Ah, yea...much better...yup. ^^; I thought I went a little fast with the first make-out scene, but it seemed to smooth itself out on its own. This commentary will deal with a little bit about Kalie and Inaki. I have pretty detailed profiles for them, and I'll share a few things that make up the characters. These are for the original characters only; these do not cover Kagome and IY. Just a heads up.

KALIE HIMMEN:

****Physical appearance****

Height-5'8' Weight-110 lbs Eye color-Dark green Hair-An extremely dark brown, mistaken for black at times in right lighting...single layer at shoulder level with bangs (hair is thick and grows fast) Skin tone-medium Age-19 3/4 at start of story Birthday-September 15, 2077

General physical structure is thin. Thin fingers and small feet. Small nose and average lips. Descent is general European. Wears glasses for reading and writing - has thin, black frames. 

****Normal emotional behavior****

Polite and friendly. Independent. Good work ethic. Is depressed every so often about not having anyone in her life other than friends, but doesn't allow herself to dwell on it with everything in her life. Hides depression and glumness from family and friends. Secretly envious of happy, romantic couples. Hides from emotions to keep from dealing with them. Is not a very good leader - works well with others. Has hidden temper and is a little short-fused when provoked into arguments. Highly responsible. Bookworm throughout most of life - gets good grades.

****Habits****

Bites nails on occasion. Doesn't like clothes shopping or grocery shopping in general. Keeps house clean, though not immaculate. Experiments with food every once in a while. Studies in spare time instead of having fun.

****Surroundings****

Lives in two-bedroom house with female roommate / best friend. Lives in America...year 2097 at beginning of story. Lives in Florida, around two miles near ocean. Lives in mildly busy neighborhood and in populated city - Miami. Goes to Florida State University. Graduated high school at 17 - just before turning 18 - and started college that same fall. Works at 'Coffee Works' Monday through Thursday, 7-12 p.m. Works at 'Hyatt' hotel Saturday and Sunday, 7 a.m.-12 p.m. College is two blocks away from rented house; Coffee Works is seven blocks from house on one of the main streets; Hyatt is five blocks from house in opposite direction. Lives a mile from grocery store and small strip mall.

****Hobbies****

Studies when possible, mostly during late hours at Coffee Works or in free time. Small seashell collection, only beautiful and rare-looking. Watches chick flicks with roommate/friend every Sunday night, mostly as tradition and to spend time together. Cooking dinner and cooking experimentation. Rides bike everywhere.

INAKI YAMOI:

****Physical appearance****

Height-5'11' Weight-145 lbs Eye color-Dark brown, sometimes mistaken for black Hair-Black; long, shaggy bangs in the front - falls to nose almost, hair used to be to nearly mid-back in single braid (In beginning, dyed white and cut about three inches from scalp with hair that ends at top of neck on a dare) Skin tone-lightly tanned Age-22 3/4 at start of story Birthday-August 5, 2074

General physical structure is slightly built/toned. Has pretty good definition in arms, stomach, and legs. Lithe hands and average guy-size feet. Thin nose and average lips. Descent is Japanese and a little American. 

****Normal emotional behavior****

Mildly easy to get along with. Mildly polite and friendly to adults. Mildly independent. Sarcastic and witty. Likes to show off in front of friends at times. Charming when flirting with girls. Prankster at times. Has mild work ethic. Not really punctual all the time. Closet romantic. Never likes to be alone and is normally dating someone off and on or being with friends a lot when single. Sometime wishes to have serious girlfriend, but never able to find that 'one' that clicks inside. Has a weakness for pretty, adventurous, and shy girls. (Doesn't understand shy girls and tries to get them out of their shells) Doesn't mind doing some strenuous tasks. Works hard when it's needed. Works at family business because of stagnation in life. Doesn't know what to do with future and has only taken a few college courses a year after graduating high school. Worked for money and never managed to go back. Goes after something he wants, mostly setting his mind on it. Doesn't like to give up. Has short fuse at times, but tries to hold in anger until alone. Resorts to punching walls when badly pissed or using workout equipment.

****Habits****

Cracks knuckles. Mild slob, but will clean when necessary. Often runs hand(s) through bangs when nervous or agitated. Sticks tongue out a tiny bit when concentrating or reading something engrossing. Swears when with friends. Tries not to swear around family - politeness issue. Always keeps hair in good condition. Drives a little too fast and aggressive at times.

****Surroundings****

Lives in four bedroom / two bath house with family. Lives in America...year 2097 at beginning of story. Lives in Florida 46 miles North and inland from Miami. Works at family business in small section of oriental businesses. Works at random times, but 5-6 at a time - or otherwise specified. Business is a few blocks away from house. Lives in quiet neighborhood and slightly out of the way in mildly populated city - Andytown.

****Hobbies****

Practices Kempo at least 3-4 times a week. Practicing for 10 yrs +. Working on learning Sai and short sword to move onto long sword. Trying to learn kanji to honor his heritage and personal want. Hangs out with friends whenever possible to do whatever they want at the time. Easily dared / betted to do (stupid) stuff for fun. Plays guitar and interested in Japanese flute - doesn't own flute though. Collects little bit of manga. Skateboards almost everywhere.

Pretty simple, ne? I had to delete a few spoilers I'm sure people do and don't want on some things. These are a few basics, and I'm sure some people are also glad to have for a more thorough knowledge of my characters. lol

The next ten chapters are going to be more WAFF and somewhere around late will be the hatching of the main plot! It WILL happen in this set, I just need to figure my dates. No one is going to know that for a few chapters though, as I like to sneak it in there and make people wonder. One problem is this ten is going to change the rating again. For those in the 17 under category with AOL or whatever server and can't get to my story because of it, try going to my site. If that doesn't work, I'm willing to email those who want to read my story. Let me know and I will make a list, and mail them out once a week as always. Worth a shot, but let's hope those who have those stupid ratings on your computer can still read it.

Next commentary will deal with Sam a little more than my main two protagonists. I have pretty detailed profiles for her too. That'll be easy until I think up something better for the fifth. At least that will be shorter. ^^;

Are we having fuuunnnn yeeeetttt? X) ~~~~~@


	41. Ch 41

_Hey babe,_

_Seeing as how summer school is halfway done with, I think you need a break. Here's my idea..._

_Something came to me recently that never occurred to me before. You met my family, and I met your mom and Sam, but you've never met MY friends. I know you've seen them, but there were never any proper introductions handed out. That's a big time whoops on my part, but in my defense, I have to say you're one hell of a distraction!_

_I don't intend on doing this immediately because I know you have school and work, so I can plan around that. Let me know if you think it's a good idea and what days you have off or can spare some time._

_If you want, bring Sam with and we can all hang out. Since June is hotter than hell so far, I figure we can congregate to the beaches and do whatever. I'm sure they have volleyball or something._

_Write me back with an answer,_

_Inaki_

_June 7, 2098_

It was an interesting idea, if only she hoped the three yokels didn't remember her from their only little run-in at the hotel.

When they basically blocked her path and wouldn't let her by. 

She never did figure that one out, but it wasn't worth asking questions to something so outdated, it was beyond old.

Her lips pursed as she stared at the ceiling. It would be nice to meet his friends and connect a little more with that aspect of his life. Not to mention she hadn't seen him for four days and it would be nice to do so again.

What could go wrong?

_Hi cutie,_

_Yea we can do that – I suppose that it's time I meet your friends. A year should be long enough for them to wonder about me huh?_

_We can do it on the weekend, though that depends on whatever one you want. You know mine are just morning work. So give me times, travel routes, stuff to do...you know - details._

_I have a feeling Sam won't mind, and it'll give her the chance to get an even better tan than she's got now. I'll let her know what's going on and we'll be sure to be ready._

_If you intend on making it too soon for me to respond, just give me a call._

_Talk to you soon,_

_K_

_June 10, 2098_

Green stared at her handwriting. Their letters were getting shorter and more to the point with less chatter. Did that mean something? Perhaps because they were spending almost every weekend together and a few small holidays that still let off school?

Was she changing that much where she didn't rant on and on over nothing?

'Who knows...'

~*~*~

"God it's hot... Remind me again why we're not spending the day inside with air conditioning?"

"Because it's time you three meet my girlfriend."

"Couldn't we do it in November? When it's cooler?"

"Shut up you pansy."

"Now, try and be on your best behavior and not grope either while in their house."

"Does the beach count?"

"Shut up Kelar! The two of us already have two very lucky girls you know."

"Two girls who would kill us if we did such."

"Besides you dork, that's your job as boyfriend, not ours."

Inaki grinned and took the final turn to the street. He stopped the car in front of the house and killed the engine. "Here it is."

Three pairs of eyes gravitated to the side.

"Not bad."

"Doesn't compare to your house though."

He snorted. "Of course not, but it's still really nice inside. And there's a.c., so let's head in instead of sitting out here shall we?"

Kelar and Robert hopped out while he was forced to let Chass out on his side. He led the way to the front door and knocked, watching as the three took in the porch.

"Hey, is that stained glass??"

Brown swung over to Chass as he headed for the living room window. "Yes, and there's more on other walls in the entry way. You can look when we're inside."

The door suddenly opened and presented four males with a rather nice view. "I thought I heard your voice."

Kelar, Chass, and Robert stared as a half-naked body presented itself.

Kelar sidled up to his friend and leaned close. "Are you SURE we can't grope them? PLEASE?? Just a feel??"

He shoved Kelar away with a flat look and went for the screen door. "You're an idiot. You can take your chances, but I doubt you'll get far." He muttered. He held the door open for the three and shut the inside when they were all in. "Kelar, Rob, Chass...this is Samantha Merth. Sam, these are my friends."

Light blue looked at each, lingering in appreciation. A hand stuck out to each with a smile. "Pleasure. But please, call me Sam." Sam looked to Inaki. "No one calls me Samantha. I may be old, but not THAT old."

Kelar's smile turned charming as he went to kiss the back of Sam's hand. "And you look very young for your age. May I guess at...twenty? Maybe nineteen?"

The three standing around rolled their eyes at such an obvious pick-up line.

Sam grinned and winked, taking her hand away. The boy had style - that was a certainty. "Close buddy. I'll be twenty-two in a few months."

Kelar's eyes took in the swimsuit and shorts again. "Well you certainly take good care of yourself." He appraised.

"Can we get on with it?? Yo K! You ready yet?" He called, walking through the pair to break them up. The last thing he needed was Kelar coming down to dig his dating hooks into Sam.

The girl would most likely give the joker a chance.

He stopped at the rise in between the set of steps and eyed a cracked bedroom door. An evil grin slowly sprouted. "You've got till the count of three to get out of your room or I'm coming up to see what's the hold-up!"

"Don't you dare you dork!"

He snorted. "Bad defense...needs to spend more time around me." He mumbled under his breath. "One!"

"Will you hold on a second?? I'm almost there!"

"You said you'd be ready when we arrived! Two!"

"Do you HONESTLY remember EVERYTHING I write you?? Hold your horses, the beach isn't going anywhere!"

"Too late – three!"

"Wait!"

He made a big show of stomping up the steps, hearing a few swear words and something land on the floor behind her door. Just as his hand slowly reached for the knob to push the barrier open, it swung wild and showed an out of breath girl.

"Are you happy now??" She snapped, trying to pull the top strap to her one piece in place. "What crawled up your ass that got you in such a hurry?"

Brown gleamed in amusement and took in her outfit. "Nothing...you just look beautiful when you're irritated."

A shy smile appeared as she fought not to blush at his compliment. The hand fixing the elastic to make it lay straight paused for a second before her brain registered she wasn't finished and went to complete the action.

"So they're all downstairs are they?" She whispered, leaning against the doorway.

He nodded and closed some of the distance. "Yup. Kelar is flirting with Sam already."

She tried not to giggle too loud. "THAT is going to make for some great entertainment." Kelar flirting with Sam...who was already a big enough flirt as it was.

This was going to be good.

"I can think of something else that'd be great entertainment..." He mused, head leaning in for a kiss.

She smiled and leaned up, slowly kissing back.

"Hey! I thought we weren't dallying!"

The two jumped in shock and regrettably pulled away. "Duty calls." He quipped, heaving a melodramatic sigh.

She giggled again and headed back inside her room. "I packed a few things just in case because you never told me exactly how long we were going to be gone." One hand hoisted it to her shoulder and the other went for the lights. "Some pop, bottled water, sunscreen, and two blankets."

He nodded, amazed at her thoughtfulness, and let her bypass him for the stairs. When they were on the main level, he took a hand and tugged her next to him. "Rob, Kelar, Chass...this is Kalie Himmen."

"As if we didn't already know that by default."

He would've smacked Chass if K hadn't moved, hand extended.

She gave a smile. "I don't know if you remember me. I work at the Hyatt. And just call me K. No one calls me by my full name."

Rob was the first to step in. "I'm Robert, but call me Rob. Pleasure to finally meet Inaki's girlfriend. We've all heard quite a bit about you."

"You did?" Green blinked in confusion before sneaking a sly peek over her shoulder. Inaki only smiled, not telling her whether it was all good or bad. "Do tell...I hope at least ONE thing was nice."

"Don't worry, it's good." Green looked back to the new voice and found a boy around her age taking Rob's place. "I'm Chass. I think I remember you now, but it's a little hazy."

She smiled. "Well it's definitely been a while...but I think you three look the same as when I last saw you."

"Perfection is hard to change."

"Oh shut up Kelar."

"He is right you know."

"You too Sam."

"Just stating the obvious..." Sam continued, looking to Kelar's build and good looks.

"And you are Kelar." Her hand wove through Chass and Sam, getting swallowed by a much larger one. "I hear quite a bit about you."

Kelar flashed a charming grin. "As you said, I hope at least one thing is good."

"Don't worry, it's not." Inaki piped up, stopping behind K. Arms loosely wrapped around her waist as he stared at Kelar with a sly grin. "Shall we finally head out? The sand is calling my name."

"And the waves – don't forget the waves." Rob added.

"Yea baby...body surfing!" Kelar added, opening the inside door.

Sam and K exchanged glances. Sam's was wary while K's was uneasy.

~*~*~

The drive was short, though it seemed longer with three men crowded in the backseat and complaining about being cramped. On top of that – literally – was Sam draped over their legs, though opting to sit on Kelar's lap.

Anyone who was single OR taken could see right through that move.

Inaki and K sat up front, even though Sam could've sat in the middle and give the backseat a little more room. But Inaki insisted K get the front with him and only him, leaving the others to stew.

The beach was incredibly busy, but that was a given for a Saturday and hot summer day. The waves were medium, and looked rather inviting.

Inaki's friends immediately made for the water to cool off, but Inaki held back as they set up a site.

"Are you sure you two aren't going to come out with us? It looks nice and cool." He offered, looking down as K adjusted the blanket.

She looked up with a smile, trying not to show anything. "If you want, drag Sam out. She's always whining about being hot and it'll give her and Kelar a chance to flirt more."

"I heard that." Said girl announced, only feet away. Sam pulled the drawstrings closed on the bag and set the sunscreen on the blanket. "But I agree with her. I'd like to go flirt with the body builder some more." A wicked grin crossed her face as one hand went to put sun block on her nose.

Brown rolled. "He's hardly a body builder. He doesn't even lift weights regularly."

"And I bet you don't either, but he's a lot beefier than you are." A finger snaked out and poked his abs. "Scrawny. Hey – that's what I can call you from now on."

"I am not scrawny!" He defended, crossing toned arms. "I'll have you know I work out regularly and with weighted objects. My physical makeup is not the same as his." He looked to the blanket, finding K pouring out sun block in a palm. "I'm not scrawny, am I K?"

Sam's eyes rolled. "That's a biased opinion and you know it. She's your girlfriend – you think she's going to complain even though you DO look nice?"

"Sam!" She blushed, a little more knowledgeable of Inaki's body, also how well it fit when cuddling and...a few things, than her friend new. Being reminded of that when the boy was standing above in nothing but swim trunks was not helping her imagination right now!

"Fine...I'll shut up now and go play." Sam jogged down to the beach and jumped into the water - right onto Kelar, throwing them both under the waves.

Dark brown swished in a ponytail. "That girl is hopeless. But at least she'll leave me alone for a while."

"You mean us." He kidded, squatting down. "You sure you won't come out with me? You're going to fry."

Another fake, reassuring smile popped up. "I'll be fine. That's what this is for." One hand held up the bottle. "Besides, you mentioned volleyball and I don't remember the last time I played outside of high school. I also would like to find out how many people are here. Someone needs to guard the spot in case it's taken."

He finally relented with a shrug, a quick kiss, and bounded away with a wave.

She heaved a sigh, looking at the five with longing. This was one of the times she wished to be able to swim. Shifting her legs down, she cradled her head with both hands and prepared for a small nap.

Not like there was much ELSE she could do.

What seemed like a while later, she jolted to consciousness with a shriek from cold water dumped on her torso. "What the hell!?"

"You looked a little crispy and if you didn't want to come to the ocean, we thought we'd bring the ocean to you."

A hand finished wiping water from her eyes to open them and glared at Sam's voice, trying to see from the sun in her eyes. "You're HORRIBLE." She grit out. She stood anyway and shook her arms. "Don't tell me you're bored already."

Sam smiled and looked to her companion. "It's only been ten minutes girl. You haven't been napping that long." A hand waved to her cohort, letting him take the bucket. "You know...Inaki is asking if I can persuade you out to the water." She mumbled.

Green looked to the blanket solemnly. "How many times?" She lowly answered.

Light blue speared a look at the waves, finding all four roughhousing and trying to dunk the other. "Not much, but you know he will continue before he actually does drag you in. Are you going to tell him?"

She was silent for a bit. "There's not much point to it, is there? This is the first time we've been out near water we can swim in. We don't go to the beach or a pool much, so I'm not worried about it." A humorless smile slowly appeared. "Like I need for him to worry about something ELSE concerning me."

"So you're just going to keep him in the dark like this? Didn't you learn in the past that stuff doesn't work? Telling him as much as possible is what normally pulls you two through."

She scowled. "This is not anything big...and it's embarrassing. I'm almost twenty-one and I can't swim. When I tell him that and he wants to know why, he'll pity me. Like he doesn't do that ENOUGH."

"Calm down...I'm just saying here." A hand patted her shoulder lightly. "So we need to find something to stall until the sun leaves and the water is too cold for comfort, or the boys want to leave. You mentioned volleyball right? All we need to do is find a team, or start our own. We can get them involved or someone else. It's foolproof."

She nodded, teeth nibbling on a nail in thought. "Just try not to bring up water too much. He'll feel like he's leaving me out and then he won't go in until I do. I know he won't, and he doesn't need to stay out of the fun because of me."

"Are you even going NEAR the waves?"

She snorted. "I may sit on the shoreline, but nothing past my knees, max. I wouldn't want to get unbalanced and roll in."

"I wouldn't want you to either." Sam stretched, scanning the scenery. "Care to go with me and look? It'll kill some time."

After she stretched and made sure their stuff wasn't in a position to get yanked, the two headed across hot sand in search of their prey.

~*~*~

Chass came to the surface sputtering and arms flailing. "Damn it! Knock that off!!"

Laughter followed as the three jumped in time as a wave rolled their way and dragged them a little with it.

"You fell for it man. That was too easy."

"One of these days, you're going to dunk me and I'm going to get caught in a riptide." The boy grumbled, jumping as another wave came in.

"Relax...there's nothing this close to shore." Rob assured, looking around. "The water only comes up to our chests. That's barely enough room for sharks."

Brown widened. "Man, don't mention sharks right now!" He made move to slap Rob, but was forced to jump with another wave or be sucked under and swallow seawater.

"Yea stupid – where's your head at??"

Silence prevailed over small talk for a while. The sounds of the ocean rolling in, people's voices nearby, and a few seagulls in the distances gladly took up the slack.

"So...what do you think of K?"

At least until that tentative question was asked.

The three looked at each other. "She's nice." Chass piped up.

Rob nodded and prepared to jump, ignoring his friend's eyes. "Seems like a good person, real friendly."

"Kind of boring though, isn't she?"

"WHAT?"

"Kelar you idiot! Inaki he didn't mean that, don't hurt him."

Brown darkened with a small glare as he made for Kelar who promptly started retreating.

No one back talked Inaki's girlfriends and got away with it unharmed in any way.

"What do you MEAN she's boring?? She's not boring at all! She does plenty of stuff!" He ranted, using his arms to propel him through. It wasn't helping that Kelar was going an entirely different direction the water was flowing.

"I just meant because she almost refuses to come into the water!" Kelar defended, using a wave to gain distance.

Inaki hopped the same mound, but stopped and stared at the vicinity of the towel.

He couldn't deny the fact that K hadn't gotten herself wet yet – other than what he heard Sam and Rob head up with – and barely gave the tide a second glance. He could almost sense some reserve in her attitude and her smiles not as meaningful as they should be.

Was she allergic to salt or something and hadn't told him yet? Did ocean water give her a rash?

He gave up the chase of his friend and went back to the others, mind tossed to thought. He wasn't having as much fun as he could've with K on shore and not by his side. He felt cut off a little bit, even though she was yards away. He felt a little guilt that she wasn't having any fun at all and he had an urge to sit with her for a while...if she hadn't told him to head on out.

"Yo, earth to Inaki."

His head jerked up and he turned to Chass's voice, missing his chance to jump and roll with the wave. He surfaced and tossed a glare to his friend at being off tune. "What the hell was that for??"

"You weren't listening. Rob said your girlfriend needs to loosen up and we were hatching a plan. Interested?"

Brown blinked in confusion as he let the tide bring him closer. Out of the corner of his vision, he noticed Kelar inching over and waved the man to join.

"Like what?"

~*~*~

At least an hour passed since she got off her duff and found a net. It was normally set up in summer – as the area was safe enough to leave it – and packed away in a shed nearby.

They found three other people who wanted to play, so she and Sam created a team against two other girls and the third was scorekeeper. They were almost ready to make a winning spike when she saw the four coming up out of the corner of her eye.

"Game point!"

Green jerked back to the net in confusion.

"K! That cost us the game!" Sam whined. The girl jogged over, wiping sweat from her brow. "That was an easy shot – what's the big deal?"

"Calm your jets. The guys are coming over." A thumb jerked behind and gained Sam's attention. She headed to the net. "Thanks for the game. We're done for now, do you want to use the court?" The girls shook their heads and headed off with a wave and thanks.

"Hey guys, what's up?"

She turned and met Inaki's smiling face, smiling in return. She headed for his side, shivering at his cool temperature when an arm went around her waist. "Tired of turning into prunes?"

"We figured we'd hunt you two down and see where you disappeared to." Inaki answered. His lips briefly met her forehead, feeling her skin burn. "I see you found someone to play with you."

She grinned. "Yea – Sam's no fun."

"Hey!"

"Care for a game?"

Brown looked to the three. "If they want to they can...but I'd like to spend some time with you by myself...I haven't since we arrived."

Her heart fluttered and she looked to Sam. The girl nodded and she returned it. "Does one of you want to move the bag closer so I don't have to keep an eye on it?"

The only thread was tied up and she took Inaki's outstretched hand and headed into the crowds. "This has been a nice day."

"Even though it's hotter than hell?" He kidded, weaving around bathers.

"Can't argue there. I think they decided to do the sand medium-well."

He stopped and gave her a look. "Your feet are scorched?"

She nodded, balancing on his arm to bring a foot into view. "Yea...pretty red. I think we have Aloe Vera in the bathroom somewhere."

He smiled. This would work more than perfect – she just handed him an opportunity. "Here...hop on." He kneeled, back to her, arms ready to clamp around her legs.

She couldn't resist. After all, when was the last time she was given a piggyback ride?

She climbed aboard and the wind blowing cooled her feet down immediately. She almost felt bad for Inaki having to carry her, but he hoisted her into a long-term position and didn't say a word.

Her arms wound around his neck, cheek against his back. "Your skin is all clammy." She muttered, smiling.

He snorted, taking the long way to the shoreline. "That would be because I've been in water...duh."

"Watch it mister. Your braid is in perfect reach for a yank."

"And I can drop you in a second." He warned. His arms laxed a second, gaining a yelp and tighter grip around his neck. He coughed and went to steady himself. "Okay...bad idea..."

She giggled and nuzzled his skin. "I sowwie honey." She drawled, kissing his tattoo. "But don't drop me and I won't choke you."

"Fair enough."

Green closed, enjoying the sound of his heartbeat and the jostling he created. Except...when her eyes opened...she noticed Inaki was only feet away from the edge of wet sand. "Inaki – what're you doing?" She asked, trying not to sound anxious.

He smiled. "Standing here."

She glared at the back of his head. "I KNOW that! I meant, what're you doing near the shore??"

Her question was peculiar and he couldn't brush it off. "Is that a problem?"

"No." She quickly answered. Too quickly she thought and mentally cursed herself.

"Good. I thought that if your feet needed cooling, we could enlist the aide of the ocean. It'd definitely help."

While his idea was a good one, that didn't help the agitation creeping into her veins. "Well..."

"If you're worried about your suit getting wet – a little stupid if you ask me – I'll keep you stationed. Don't worry."

Easy for him to say, but she'd try. She trusted Inaki more and more since they started going out and after almost three months, she had to admit she trusted him quite a bit.

That didn't mean she wasn't happy with this idea though...

He edged into the water more and more, going slow and moved with the tide. She didn't seem to notice, even though she tensed a little in his arms.

If she was worried about him dropping her onto the sand, she didn't need to worry.

She wouldn't hit sand.

By the time she noticed he edged up to his knees, her head was almost wildly looking beneath. "Aren't we...a little far out?" She skirted, biting her lip. Her arms tightened a tad, trying not to be noticeable.

He took it for her slipping – as his skin was still wet – and hoisted her up for a better grip. "Silly. Your feet aren't even touching water yet."

She mentally ordered herself to stop being so stupid, as they WEREN'T that far deep, and stop giving herself away. The last thing she needed was him worrying and doing the whole forgiveness thing for doing something so stupid.

As long as she kept her head, she'd be fine.

He was up to his waist, taking it slow. K's ankles brushed the water and he knew she expected him to stop there. He continued to inch forward, trying to keep a smile off his face.

This was going to be great! He couldn't wait to see the look when she surfaced.

Boy was he going to get her a good one.

"Okay now we ARE too far out." She said, tightly swallowing. "I just felt water brush my butt."

He laughed at that one. "You are such a romantic at heart you know that?" He kidded, giving her head a light knock. "I've got you okay? My feet are planted. Your feet were red; they need to be IN water for a bit to cool down."

She didn't know about that, but he sounded like he knew what he was talking about so she nodded. "Okay..."

He stopped when the water was mid chest. The waves lapped at his neck. They seemed to pick up a teensy bit, probably due to the change in sun, but it didn't bother him. He wanted a good wave.

Her anxiety was hitting boiling point and she was extremely close to demanding to be put down so she could head back to shore.

Except she NEVER dared venture this far out before and panic was clouding her senses. Clouding them to what she vowed not to do – tell Inaki.

"Um...Inaki?" She queried, wide eyes looking at the sand below. "There's - there's something I think you should know..."

His head turned, showing off the wolfish smile. Just one good opening... "Really?" He turned to the side, the wave slapping his arm and cooling his back down. "Like what?"

"Well...well there's this thing... I haven't told you about it because I didn't think it was that big a deal..." Her heart was racing and there was enough adrenaline to jump right out of the water!

This couldn't be a good thing.

His excitement dimmed a bit in curiosity. "You always think that way, you know that? You always think anything is no big deal with you." His smile widened. "You need to be taught that some things are a big deal. Especially when they concern you."

"You're right Inaki." She rapidly answered, watching a rather tall wave come in. She huddled against his back, trying not to tremble, as she spat out salt water. "But I don't think we can hold a conversation here...so if you'd just bring me a lot closer to shore –"

He sighed. "We can talk right here. We have so far. Now...back to what I was saying about big deals. Well, you need to be taught a lesson. Particularly a lesson in having fun."

She blinked at that offhand comment, momentarily thrown from reality. "Having fun?" She echoed. Water brushed over her chest, throwing her to reality again. "Please Inaki! I'm not playing around here!"

"No but I am! And I'm going to teach you how to body surf." Without any other warning or explanation, his arms let go. With the water running against his neck, her arms were too slippery to get a hold and she gave a split second shriek before being buried.

He turned and waited for her to surface. The light orange of her bathing suit blurred under the water and he picked it up, holding it in sight. He didn't want to miss where she surfaced.

She finally managed to and it was a foot deeper from where she was...though he stood almost five foot away. The waves drug her out a little before she surfaced on her own, thankfully pulling enough air to help her there. She gained a VERY small relief in knowing the ocean was shallow and one had to go quite a ways out in order to be this deep.

"INAKI!!" She screamed, enraged and fearful at the same time. Her arms wildly thrashed around, every thought of remaining calm fleeing from her mind. Her face tilted up as high as possible, making it near impossible to see him, to keep above water. She was too short for this and her toes just barely touched bottom.

He laughed at her disgruntled expression, seeing hair almost cover her face. "Hey K! See...water's not that bad! Just come back and I'll teach you how to body surf!"

Her mind practically froze as she tried to think and make sense of where she was and him. He didn't know and she was futilely trying to swim, what she speculated from movies and tv shoes, to keep above the waves. She didn't know what body surfing was, but whatever it was, it sounded like something she could use right now!

"Inaki! Get me out of here! Help! I can't SWI -"

With her head facing the shore to see her boyfriend, she missed the waves coming in...and was effectively pushed forward and underwater when one crashed overhead. She was unable to breathe to prepare and sucked in water automatically in surprise.

He stood there, a little unsure of what he just heard. He pondered that as he waited for K to surface again.

'Did she just say she couldn't SWIM?!' That couldn't be right – she seemed to be holding her own staying atop the waves. Even if anyone knew you jumped the waves to not tire out half as much.

Maybe he heard wrong. She never did complete the word and it could mean almost anything. But...'I can't swi'? He was surrounded by the water, but she yelled that quite easily.

"INAKI! What the FUCK are you doing!?"

Whirling around as fast as he could, he met angry, panicked blue. "Sam what –"

"She flipped out and started running for the shore the first time K went down." Kelar explained. "We told her he was just playing a joke and she looked ready to spite fire."

Sam used the tide to haul it to Inaki and promptly hit him on the shoulder. "You dumbass! Start searching! I didn't see her surface yet!"

"She went with the tide, give it time." He explained.

If he had a shirt, Sam would've grabbed it to choke him with. "You asshole – K CAN'T SWIM!!!"

His heart almost stopped beating. The look of shock, panic, and horror crossed his face. He watched Sam swim past and stood paralyzed until a wave moved him and brought him back.

'Oh gods...I killed her!'

"KALIE!!" He whirled for the deep, but stopped and twisted as much as possible. "Kelar! Go get the coast guard or whoever the fuck watches this area! And then tell Chass and Rob to get their asses out here and start looking!"

Kelar was already heading back without giving a response, mind plagued by guilt and every horrible thought. They thought up the gag, and Inaki agreed to it.

They were all murderers if they didn't find K and SOON.

Disregarding the salt water and it possibly hurting his eyes, he deeply inhaled and dove, desperately scanning the area. 'I'll never ever, EVER forgive myself!' He wanted to punch himself, but wouldn't do any damage under water. 'How could I be so fucking stupid?! I could tell she was agitated, but I just thought she didn't want to go in the water! I didn't know she couldn't swim!!'

_"There's - there's something I think you should know... I haven't told you about it because I didn't think it was that big a deal..."_

He was the biggest prick in the world and this just proved it. Not even three months and he just sent his girlfriend to drown!

Surfacing for air, he scanned the area in hopes of seeing orange, but not one spot. He looked for Sam, but she was either under or too far away in one direction.

This was not good...

'No fucking shit Sherlock!' He took a second to harshly slap himself on the forehead before going under a second time.

He had to've scanned a few blocks before despair started weighing heavily on him. He spotted Rob in an underwater pass and rose to confirm what was going on. Rob spotted Sam, but the girl hadn't seen K either. Kelar had the lifeguards out as well, telling them which direction everyone went to start and a few radioed for boats.

That was all they managed to do so far.

A fist came down repeatedly in the water when he surfaced yet again. He was beginning to think it was hopeless. The minutes seemed like hours, but still nothing. The ocean was too vast and there weren't enough swimmers or surfers out here to see.

His jaw clenched as sorrow washed over him. Tears stung his eyes and he quickly dove under to hide them.

He would NOT cry until he knew they hadn't found K. There was still hope!!

He looked up to see something big pass over and turned, fearing it was a shark. He was relieved to see a motor boat and waited for the chance to surface to ask if they spotted K yet. "Hey! HEY!!" He called, waving an arm. The motor was too loud and he tried to swim for it, but the thing was going faster than he could. He risked following it, seeing a few people quickly move around the top – curiosity peeked.

He called out a few more times, finally getting someone's attention when he splashed water inside. They tossed him a rope and waved him to follow, but didn't stop or slow down to let him speak or say what was going on. Helpless, he grabbed hold and sent prayers out to every god who dealt with water that his friends were successful in his absence.

By the time they reached shallow, he not only felt like a complete ass, total heel, and beyond all hope, but those in the boat were still ignoring him. The motor was cut and he shouted if anyone spotted a girl fitting K's description and was beckoned aboard.

He shimmied up a metal ladder to see inside interior and froze...eyes impossibly wide.

K was sprawled out on the boat with someone pushing on her chest, another near her head. She looked unconscious and extremely frail.

"Is this the person we were told to look for?"

He startled and blinked out of his trance, eyes jerking to his side. "Y – yes." Eyes still on his girlfriend, heart hurting, he fell to his knees. "When did you find her? How long have you been doing c.p.r?? WHY HASN'T SHE WOKEN UP YET?"

"Someone restrain him!"

Hands pulled his arms and kept him from shaking the man he grabbed a hold of. "Let go of me! KALIE! Damn it onna, wake up!! Please! Gods – I'm sorry!! Let the fuck GO of me! Kalie!" He struggled and yanked one arm free, using it to elbow the person and gained his other back.

"Someone stop him!"

"Chikushou onna! Wake up – I didn't mean it! You have to believe me!! WAKE UP!" A hand rose and harshly lowered, slapping her across the face and jerking her head to the side.

She promptly started coughing, water spewing from her lungs.

He froze, hand ready to strike again, when someone grabbed hold of it and preventing him.

"She'll be okay now... She'll recover."

A blanket was immediately produced and wrapped around her as someone lifted her to sitting position. A sting on her cheek brought awareness away from the cold temperature of her body, even with the sun beating down and hot wind blowing.

"Ma'am, can you hear me? Ma'am??"

Wide, blank, horrified eyes stared at the floor she sat on. God...she nearly died!! She remembered inhaling water and feeling consciousness slip, but not much else.

Her body started shaking, tears pouring down her eyes.

'Ohgodohgodohgodohgod...'

"She's going into a small state of shock. Someone get some more blankets. Hurry it up! We have to keep her warm!"

Shouts and movement was ignored as she continued to pin the floor with the same stare. The medical aide by her side left her to help search, but she didn't notice all the commotion they were making.

She DID notice a body that hadn't moved after she was brought up.

She pinned him with that stare...relief and guilt burned tears down his face. He ignored them, barely feeling them, as he met her eyes. She looked like a scared rabbit that had a run-in with a hungry cat. She didn't even seem to recognize him at all and his heart lurched.

Teeth bit his lip. He wanted – no HAD – to say something...but how the hell did he bring her back and start trying to apologize?

He nearly killed her!!

His mouth opened, trying to push a syllable out, and closed. He repeated the process twice before shifting further to the floor. "...Kalie... I..." Brown stared at his hands, feeling like throwing himself in and dishing out a little of what he gave. He felt worse than scum. "I...I'm..."

At some point in his rambling, her brain finally jumpstarted and she turned to him more. Her eyes returned to normal size and some of the horror left. Her body still shook as an effect of the ordeal, but she disregarded it.

She wanted to be furious, she wanted to hate him for nearly killing her – though unintentional, and she wanted to comfort him from the way he looked. This was the first time she ever recalled seeing him cry, though it was understandable. If the rolls were reversed, even if he COULD swim and got dragged under, she would still be unable to speak and feel horrible for it happening.

Her eyes lowered to the floor.

He wanted to crawl into himself and cry his eyes out. He wanted to get on the floor and beg for forgiveness...even if he didn't expect it to be given. He would understand if she wanted to toss him away and say to hell with him. He would be asking too much if he managed to keep her FRIENDSHIP at this point.

She looked up and scouted the area when the boat jerked. They made it to sand. Those running around stopped with supplies and she solemnly met their eyes. She nodded at their questions of her health, sparing Inaki another glance.

Her heart went out to him. He had his legs drawn to his chest, arms tightly around them. She met his eyes, seeing them completely miserable and unlike the happy-go-lucky person she came to adore, before he looked away.

She couldn't leave the boat with Inaki while he was in this state. This had no doubt gained attention of people on shore, and she didn't want that public.

She knew Inaki wouldn't want it public.

"May I have a moment alone?" Her head jerked to her boyfriend. They nodded and thankfully exited, probably to go find those in charge.

His head dropped onto his knees, still crying. Tears almost casually flowed down his face, even if every harrowing emotion was doubling by the second. He was plagued with doubt and was preparing his goodbye speech.

And trying to tell himself if she left, he was okay with that.

The barest of touches quickly got his attention and his head jerked up, eyes widening when they met solemn green. He didn't get his hopes up and looked to her fingers, finding them pale from cold.

Her temperature ate at him even more. "I...I don't...really know what to say..." He whispered, face crumbling a degree.

She shuffled closer on her knees, keeping the blanket around her. She stopped inches away and rose to them, looking down. Her hand grasped his knee tighter as the boat rocked a bit. She heavily shivered in renewed fear, but forced it down to deal with matters right now.

"You...didn't know." She mumbled, legs spreading for balance.

His attention jerked to her, blinking. "What did you say??" He breathed, fists tightening.

Her gaze lowered – almost unbelieving she was doing this so easily – before meeting his after a moment. "You didn't know. I didn't tell you because I was embarrassed. You didn't know...it's not your fault."

_It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault..._

He froze, brown avidly staring into green for the longest time, those four words constantly running through his head.

He startled her when arms shot out and embraced her waist, face pressing against her body.

She would've been embarrassed, as he was practically cradling her breasts, but maternal instinct at that position took over and her arms went around him. Her head ducked to press a small kiss to his forehead before resting over matted hair.

More tears fell, grateful and relieved. He hugged her to him as though she'd leave in a second. What kind of woman would forgive someone for what he did? She was special in a way he never saw in a person before. They hadn't personally touched dry land and she forgave him.

He never understood what he felt for her until this moment. He was definitely attracted to her physically, and a lot emotionally. He came to know her and a lot of her mood swings...what made up her personality and the quirks she possessed. But he never felt anything this deep with any of his other girlfriends – never.

Grasping the extent of these emotions as they hit him in the face made him realize something else. Something that brought calm and finality...another piece of his life that fit.

He found the one he was looking for. Something inside him told she was right here, warm despite being stranded in cold water.

He needed Kalie in a way he didn't even need his family. He needed, wanted, her by his side as much as humanely possible. He needed to hear her voice, to see her face, kiss her lips, hold her near him, read and write her letters, and just know she was his.

His face turned to her stomach and pressed a heavy, lingering kiss to it that spoke volumes. Fingers slowly rubbed his hair, trying to lend comfort, and the emotions he felt intensified.

She was in peril, yet she tried to comfort HIM.

He forced himself to stop crying and slowly pulled away to get on his knees. Hands took hold of hers, pulling them to his lips to kiss her fingers. Arms went around her back, tugging her to him and she went. His chin rested over her hair and he sighed.

"I want to make this up to you."

She blinked and pulled away enough to look at him.

"I can't tell you how sorry I am and no amount of apologizing is going to make me feel you've forgiven me. I WILL make this up to you."

Her brow furrowed a degree. "It's an unmanageable Inaki." She murmured, a hand rising to touch his cheek. "You didn't know because I didn't tell you. There's not much you could've done."

His eyes blazed with guilt. "I didn't save you. I didn't do enough – I didn't do anything."

"You're beating yourself up too much. You're soaking wet and that tells me you went looking for me."

"The guys and I planned a prank to get you in the water. I went along with it, but it might as well have been me plotting to toss you to your death in the ocean. I can't believe you're -"

Her lips closed over his to halt his rambling, unable to hear him demean himself.

Wasn't this the biggest irony of the world? She was trying to cheer HIM up for once!

His lips attacked, arms tightening almost painfully. He poured every emotion in that kiss, trying to convey to her, trying to tell her.

There was NO getting around this – he WAS making it up to her. He was going to do and do until he felt satisfied for himself, not for her. He was everything he tried not to be...dishonorable, an ass, shameful, no respect...

He was honest in his words. He might've agreed to be the one to toss her in the waves, but he might as well have thought it up all by himself. He was horrible; he almost didn't deserve to live!

He knew he certainly didn't deserve the divine forgiveness she was granting.

Voices sounded and splashing finally pulled them away. They both looked to find Sam, Kelar, Chass, and Rob trying their damndest to get around the water.

"She's up! She's breathing!"

"Kalie! Kalie are you okay!?"

Sam didn't let the guys get up the relatively small boat, nor did she bother to see the crew returning to get everyone off. Anger blazed in her eyes and she pinned it at Inaki solely.

"You," She pointed, voice ice, "are the biggest, most crass asshole I've ever met! Va al infierno!!" She shouted.

K's eyes widened at her friend's anger. Green looked to Inaki and the guilt that returned to his eyes from what she saw on the boat as he looked away.

She was suddenly pushed aside by Sam, crying out in surprise. She turned to see exactly what her friend thought she was doing when a fist captivated her vision.

Sam's fist.

Inaki's jaw.

Inaki's head whipping to the side.

She watched in shock and horror as he fell to the deck and didn't get up. It took a second for it to penetrate.

Sam – her best friend – just knocked out her boyfriend!

**Spanish language will be translated under the Japanese when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.**

**Translations: **Va al infierno-Go to hell


	42. Ch 42

"You are not being reasonable here!"

"I don't do leeway with assholes."

"All I want to do is TALK to her!"

"And I said NO! You don't deserve to be near her!"

He growled and clenched the phone, frustration climbing higher.

'Seven hells hath no fury like a protective, pissed off best friend. How the hell am I going to get past THIS?'

Phone calls for the past week were either hung up on or not given to K. He kept calling and calling, but Sam wasn't budging. He knew the letter he delivered hadn't gotten to K because she had yet to respond to it. She never took this long – at least not recently - and that was the only way he knew.

He didn't feel totally confident to be around his girlfriend without an amount of guilt. He couldn't look her in the eyes without wanting to apologize yet again. The weekend after their trip was the first they spent alone in months.

"This is not between you and I – it's between K and I." He was running out of ways to not let Sam berate him and keep him from the one person he wanted to be around right now. He allowed it to a point, knowing he deserved it, but tension and longing was starting to build.

"She's my best friend and little sister! The one you tried to drown! You think that doesn't concern me??"

A hand went into his bangs and gripped in agitation. His jaw tightened as he fought for another defense. This was getting ridiculous...

"Look, I KNOW I screwed up and I've been TRYING to make it up to her. But that's kind of hard when you won't let me within a city's length! Let me talk to her damn it!!"

"Va al infierno."

He speared the wall a dry look. "You know, I WOULD like to know what that means."

"You don't need to know. And you don't need to talk to her. You can stew in your guilt for a while until I feel you've paid your penance."

Brown widened a little. "You can't stop me from calling you know."

Sam smirked and leaned back in the kitchen chair. "Can't I? I seem to recollect we had something like this same conversation before. I still pay the phone bills you know. And I'm the one who gets to the mail as I don't have noon classes this semester. You don't have a chance of getting to her." Light blue narrowed.

A fist clenched as he headed from the family room and cleared the stairs. He headed for the back engawa, ignoring his shoes, and started pacing the boards. "You're not being fair about this." He growled, clutching the phone tighter.

"Am I?"

"K is MY girlfriend and I will pay my penance when I find out for MYSELF that she's forgiven me. I will do whatever it takes to see in her eyes that she's forgotten that incident and does not hold it over my head. No one blames me more than myself, so you can rest easy about that. I won't forgive myself until I know she has."

Light blue idly looked to a nail. "Well from what I've seen, she doesn't think too much about it anymore and doesn't seem to hold it against you."

His eyes widened in amaze as he gaped at the backyard.

That couldn't be! He nearly killed her – she had every right to hold this over his head for as long as humanely possible! He certainly wouldn't mind, as he wouldn't forget what he did for a very long time.

_"I...I don't really hold grudges that much..."_

Her voice rang in his head. K said that back when he hurt her the first time, during beginning times they met. The hand still in his hair rubbed as if trying to soothe him.

K didn't hold a grudge over something this big and she kept forgiving him for every little thing he did to her.

His lips pressed together. As much as he needed her, he had to admit...he probably didn't deserve someone like her...

"But even though she has, I haven't. I won't take something like you trying to kill my best friend lightly. I don't care if it was unintentional – I saw she was panicked from the shoreline and you ignored her."

He snapped back to reality and scowled. "I screwed up - how many times do you want me to say I'm sorry?!"

"In as many ways as you know how." Sam slid from the chair, bored of bickering with him. It was fun to piss him off in validation for her endless supply of recent anger over the event, but she got tired of it after a while. The next time he called, it would start over again until she got weary with the same thing and hung up on him again.

Just like she planned on doing now.

"This is getting us nowhere. You're going to keep calling and I'm going to keep telling you the same thing. Why don't you spare us the time and listen to me? When you hear a different voice on the line, you'll know I've forgiven you a little. Caller ID comes standard with phones so don't think I won't check."

"Sam –"

Sam clicked the phone off without letting him get anything else in and hung it up. To keep him from calling back, she went to the phone jack in the wall and took out the cord.

Effectively keeping the only phone in their house from getting a connection.

With a smug grin, Sam stood and turned for her room. She had studying to get done and was wasting time talking to a prick like him.

~*~*~

She didn't notice the extra quiet - as it was normally quiet in the house – or question anything until she was making dinner. It was the barest of chances and she wouldn't even know anything happened had she not tried to grab too much as usual in one trip and ended up dropping something.

When she went to pick it up after it rolled to a stop, her eyes landed on the phone cord. It looked plugged in unless one stooped close enough to see the length of the plastic connector...and the fact that it wasn't doing its job.

A hand lowered and pulled the jack out, staring at it blankly. Green slowly closed upon realization and plugged the cord in all the way.

She didn't know whether or not she expected the phone to ring, but it remained silent. She picked the Tupperware off the floor and went to the counter, jaw set.

Maybe twenty minutes later, when the smells drug down a certain, stubborn roommate, she watched Sam out of the corner of an eye.

"Inaki called today didn't he? He called while I was at classes."

Sam stopped as if running into a wall. Light blue stared at her friend's sideways profile, noticing the small tenseness.

After a second, Sam forced indifference in front of initial irritation and panic and went to set the table. "What makes you say that?"

"The phone wasn't connected to the wall."

Sam mentally cringed, but still played dumb. "How do you know? Did you look?"

"Yes."

'Uh oh. Okay...time to think of a way out of this.' Sam subtly bit her lip.

She didn't bother moving from her position in front of the stove. She tended to the pot as if this weren't that big a deal, but she was trying to keep from showing outward annoyance that was building. She couldn't keep an edgy sigh inside though, and lips pursed into a brief scowl. "What did he say?"

"Not much."

"Sam..."

"It was nothing important you know."

Dark green narrowed a little as she finally looked over. She stared at ash blond, hoping Sam could feel it. "Sam, I'm not playing around here! I haven't been able to talk to Inaki all week and I KNOW you had a hand in it! There were no missed calls on the ID and no messages on the machine. Either you deleted both, or you picked up the phone and talked to him!"

Sam resisted physically shying away from that tone of voice. The irritation felt upon Inaki being mentioned was still there and she latched onto it for strength.

"I also haven't gotten a letter from him this week and if I know him – which I like to think I do by now – he would've written me and have it full of apologies. Not ONE. You had a hand in that too didn't you?"

Sam's shoulders squared a little as she turned for the table with a load of dishes from the cupboards. "Point being?"

Green stared a little surprised at the flat tone. Sam didn't sound like she cared one bit about any of that, nor did she deny it.

She blinked when Sam made to set their places, eyes following the movements. "I - I don't believe this..." She mumbled. She turned the stove off to keep from burning anything and put it on a cold burner as it was relatively done. "You...you mean to tell me...you talked to Inaki...and KEPT it from me?? The phone calls, the letters..."

Sam's pride sparked and mingled with everything and she whipped around. "I did it for you!" Sam grit out. A chubby hand clenched. "The guy tried to DROWN you! Are you going to tell me you're going to bypass something that serious, and be all buddy-buddy with him and let him get off?? He has no right to skirt it that easy!"

Stunned green met angry blue. She tried to get her brain to work, but it was a few seconds before any thought would come. "You – you know that's not entirely his fault. He didn't know! Am I going to hold THAT over him?" She threw back, brow furrowing. "I can't exactly blame him for something like that when it was a didn't-ask-didn't-tell situation. I know that and there's nothing else I can do but accept it and move on. It's all in the past, so how am I going to change it??"

Sam gripped the table in frustration. K wasn't seeing all the facts here! "So you're going to let him get away with attempted murder?"

She gaped. "It was NOT attempted - it wasn't even on purpose! Attempted is on purpose! What the hell are you thinking here?!"

"I'm doing what you won't! He deserves to pay for what he did and I'm making him stew in guilt for a while before he can talk to you!"

She gaped again, more surprised than before. This was CRAZY!

"WHAT?! You're not making sense! You're not the one who should make him pay – I am! And you weren't there on the boat either. I saw how bad he beat himself up for this. I know if I let him, he'll keep it up until the year is over trying to make it up to me. That would not only annoy me after a while, but he doesn't need to. His honor won't let him drop it this easy, no matter if I forgive him or not, so I don't NEED to punish him. He'll do so on his own until I force him to stop."

Sam's arms crossed. "He deserves it. You could've been lost at sea! He almost killed my best friend – am I going to forgive something like that? Hell no! Had he listened to you, you wouldn't be traumatized!"

Her chin rose a little, even if a small bit agreed with her friend. "I am not traumatized."

Sam nearly glowered. "Please...you won't even go NEAR the ocean. And don't tell me it's because you don't have time. You have three classes this summer; you were twice as busy last year. You won't and it's all because of Inaki."

Her jaw clenched as she turned and went to the stove. She grabbed potholders off their hooks and brought the pot to the table. She didn't look at Sam as she straightened. "I'm not feeling very hungry all of a sudden." She turned and went to put the holders back. "You can have whatever you want, but please put the dishes to soak and leftovers in the fridge when you finish."

"Kalie!"

She stopped at the edge of the room, almost out of sight. Her head bowed, hand resting on the wall as if to hold her up. "In the future Samantha...I appreciate it if you'd let ME deal with something like this. I know you're my surrogate, but you know I don't like it when people try to run my life."

She turned for the stairs and left Sam dumbly blinking at her exit, also feeling incredibly guilty all of a sudden.

She sighed and plopped down on her bed, staring at the wall. She looked to the door before getting up to lock it, not feeling like talking anymore. All they did was yell and she did enough of that this year for two.

Green wearily closed. So Sam was right, she WAS traumatized more concerning swimming and the ocean...but didn't let it get her down. She put it out of her mind and didn't bother thinking or visiting the ocean for shells. She would forget about the horror of sucking in water through her lungs...the desperation of trying to find her way to the surface and being unable...the horrible knowledge that she might die...

A shiver stole through her as she hugged the pillow tightly, staring at the back of her daybed.

So she hadn't forgotten...but it's only been a week, she would need more time than that. But she tried not to hold it against Inaki, though a part of her wanted to. She wanted to yell and scream and hit him in retribution, but that wouldn't do any good. As she said, she couldn't change the past so all she could do was try and get over it.

That was definitely hard though. She was able to take a shower, but baths were out of the question. Even in such a shallow pool of water.

She was definitely angry at Sam for trying to control her life, but shouldn't have put it past the girl. Sam was protective in her own way and it was nice, but independence and protection did not mix to a point. Sam knew if anyone tried to control her or make her do something she didn't want to, they would feel the effects.

She just wished she didn't have to fight. That created the current tension and bitterness...and guilt.

She didn't hold a grudge against Sam for wanting to keep Inaki away in some twisted form of making him see what he did to her. It was nice to have someone concerned for her well-being. But keeping mail and phone calls for Sam's sense of justice was over the line.

She would demand the letter tomorrow, but today just needed to get over with. She didn't want to deal with anything in connection to that day right now. It was getting old and she was starting to feel bad in every aspect and she was tired of that as well.

Green spied the clock and decided on a quick nap to take her mind off things. She didn't need to take this to work. No one knew about it and she intended on keeping it that way.

~*~*~

The evening seemed to match emotions during the day. The morning seemed promising for a beautiful day and equally beautiful night, but nature had other ideas.

The last hour was dead as always and homework was brought out for a bit. A cool wind blew inside from the open door, which was odd, even at night. It was a nice change from humidity, but the coolness and that familiar smell meant only one thing.

Rain.

She hadn't brought an umbrella and the only thing that would remain dry would be her bag. She hoped so anyway – there was really nothing to wrap her books in to keep them from being soggy messes if that happened.

She took a peek during a slow period at the last dredges of the sunset to find clouds slowly billowing in. She didn't think anything of them, but wished she had then. If she was lucky, she would've had Casey watch the front so she could run home for a windbreaker at least.

She doubted the three would stop in tonight. They normally walked here and were old men, which meant problems with the joints during rain...though she had yet to medically understand exactly why. She didn't mind; she actually wanted to be alone tonight.

Half an hour before closing, she was still doing homework, reading glasses in place like always. The bell rang and her head jerked up in surprise.

Green widened as her heart sped up.

"You are one very hard person to get a hold of, you know that?"

A small smile appeared as she went for her glasses. "Sam doesn't make it...easy." She muttered, heading for her bag. She grabbed it and went for her books. She would get no more work done tonight and she couldn't.

There were things to talk about, though she didn't know if she wanted to.

"I finally decided to do something she couldn't ignore me for."

Dark brown bobbed in contrite. "I'm sorry she put you through the wringer. I didn't know exactly what she was doing until today and we had it out. I told her what I thought and I can only hope she doesn't do it again."

A hand grabbed hers and entwined their fingers as she made to zip up the main flap. She smiled and relaxed a little at the feeling of warm skin. She gently squeezed and felt a return.

"Do you mind if we talk?"

She looked to the bag and gently tugged her hand away. She grasped a strap and set it on the floor, everything put away. "There's...really nothing to talk about..."

"Please."

She nodded, unable to deny him. She headed for the other end of the counter, moved the flap up, and headed to a table he was seated at.

The second she sat, a hand grasped hers and held it again. "I wrote you a letter the beginning of the week, but I doubt you have it."

Her head shook. "I have reason to believe Sam kept that as well, since she didn't tell me you called today. She...unplugged the phone."

Brown simmered on low boil but he looked away to hide it from her. "I wrote you because the fourth is coming up soon. My family doesn't celebrate it, but I usually do something with the guys. I know you'll have vacation and I wanted to know if you would spend it with me."

She looked to the table and pressed her lips together. "I...normally spend that with Sam's family." She murmured. "She might not like it right now if she hears this." A hand gripped her chin and brought her vision to his. Her skin tingled a little where they met together.

"I'm not thinking of Sam and I ask you not to either. I know she's your best friend, but she's caused quite a bit of unnecessary grief between us and you have to know this. I'm asking as your boyfriend if you want to spend the holiday together. If not, I understand. I know about tradition and wouldn't want you to break it if you didn't want to."

Great, now she felt guilty. Her eyes looked away, deeply thoughtful, as she debated with herself. She did recognize all Sam was doing and didn't agree with it, but the girl WAS her best friend. Sisters looked out for each other didn't they?

But she hadn't spent time with Inaki since that Saturday. And that wasn't even alone. She missed spending time with him alone – she admitted that now – but she would take anything she could. She didn't mind hanging out with his friends either, their humor was entertaining.

She finally met his eyes and smiled. "I think I'd rather spend time with you, if you don't mind. I've had two years with the Merths; it's time to give my attention to someone who needs it more."

He smiled and shifted closer. His hand gently tugged her forward as much as the small table would allow and kissed her.

Gods how he missed this! The soft feel of her lips, the timid way she met his touch...

His hand brushed over her skin and delved into her hair. Fingers toyed with the strands, feeling it against his calluses. She was so soft and the thought didn't escape him. Her shyness was still there, though it was more an adorable feature than a sad one. She had gotten better with his help and opened up a little...which was better than none. He was proud of her for that.

He finally pulled away at the sound of quiet thunder in the distance. K groaned and huffed, which gained his curiosity. "Something the matter?"

"It's going to rain – I'm going to get all wet before I get home." She complained, leaning back with a pout.

His lips twitched. "So will I you know. I parked near your house."

Her brow furrowed. "NEAR?"

Brown looked away. "I didn't want to take the chance of Sam seeing it. I know she's pissed enough to cut the phone bill or call the company and accuse me of making harassing phone calls or something. I wasn't taking chances."

She gave him a sympathetic look and touched his hand. The other covered hers and a finger moved over her skin. A tingle went up her arm and a shiver threatened to hit.

A louder boom of thunder made her jump and whine. "Where is Charlie?? I want to beat this!"

He smirked. "It's just rain you know... You're not going to melt."

"No but I HATE loud thunder." She retorted, pouting again.

She looked adorable. He gave her hand a squeeze and kept rubbing it. "You'll be fine. You have me here so feel free to hold onto my arm if you get scared."

She gave him a dry look for the sarcasm, but a smile peeked through at his thoughtfulness.

She pulled away and stood, looking to the clock. "As we have about ten minutes left, would you care for something? It's on the house."

He watched her walk behind the counter and went to lean on it. "You can do that?" He queried, skeptically eyeing her.

She smirked. "There's no security camera with crime down and Charlie doesn't check the register in comparison to the amount of mix the machines use. This is one of the few times I've ever done it in the two years I've been here. I can skim off the top once."

He sent a wicked grin and proceeded to find the most expensive thing on the board. "You little rebel you."

She giggled and leaned next to him to look as well, feeling a little thirsty. "I do so try."

He chuckled and gave her shoulder a quick kiss before giving his decision. She finished not even five minutes before Charlie walked in, jangling keys as always.

"Head up and move out you two. It's started to sprinkle."

She heaved a sigh and resisted the urge to bang her head on the counter. "I knew it!" She playfully wailed. She grabbed the book bag and slung it over a shoulder. "It never waits for me to be safely inside. Where's winter when you need it?"

"As if the rain would stop with that." Inaki playfully retorted, getting a playful glare back. He stuck his tongue out and she returned it as she headed to the back room.

"So the guys didn't come in today?"

"Nope!" She called, pushing the kickstand up. "Just this yokel."

"Thanks a LOT."

"Anytime sweetie." She answered, giving a syrupy smile.

The look he gave said he was not amused, or trying not to be. "You're so horrible to me, you know that?"

"You're horrible to ME – we're even."

"You two related or something??" Charlie asked, giving them both an odd look.

Her head shook. "Do we look like it?" She felt Inaki next to her. "This is my boyfriend Inaki, Charlie."

"At least you left that stupid joke off this time."

"It's too late to be that funny."

"Ha, ha. My ribs are breaking." He dryly answered. A finger whipped out and poked her in the side.

"Stop that!" She squeaked, jerking away. The bike banged against the doorway, getting a cringe from both. "See what you made me do??"

"Did not."

"Did too."

"We are NOT getting into this in my store. Out you two, now." Charlie shooed them out before a verbal flirting war could erupt and locked the door behind them. "Now get out of here and go home. It's late."

"Or early, depending on your point of view." She countered, giggling at Charlie's look. "Bye Charlie."

"Bye K."

He was silent as they headed to the end of the first block before speaking. "You're in rare form tonight."

She cast him a look and blinked when a droplet hit her eye. "As I said, I do so try."

No more talk was made as they sauntered the short distance back. The rain picked up a little, but during the final block, a crack of loud thunder signaled foreboding before the sprinkle turned into a downpour.

"I am so totally SOAKED!" She nearly screeched, trying not to slip on the grass as she jogged the bike up the lawn.

"You'll survive." He answered, keeping in time with her. His sandals were soggy and it felt odd, but he hadn't been caught in a rainstorm for a while. He fully intended on keeping K out in it as long as possible to enjoy it with her.

"This has been some day, but I suppose this is the icing I needed." She grumbled, fumbling for the chain. The rain was cold and the temperature dropped even further to allow shivering.

Not a good combination for t-shirt and shorts.

He watched her finally click the lock in place before walking to the center of the yard. "Come here."

She blinked from the safety of the porch. "Are you nuts? I'm not going back out there!"

"You're already soaked, what's the harm?" A hand beckoned. "You ever get caught in the rain at midnight?"

Her arms crossed, feeling the warmth of her body and she shivered a little. "I've never been in the rain like this period. You can get sick."

"That's an old wife's tale. Come on...live a little. Be dangerous! Come get wet with me."

Her face flamed at the innuendo, whether he meant to put it there or not. She wanted to remain on the porch and dry off – or better yet, get to a towel and inside – but felt her feet move by themselves. Her eyes took in his form as she neared, arms moving to encircle his waist.

There was just something about him being drenched and totally disheveled that was incredibly sexy.

"Happy now?"

His arms rested against her back as he held her close. A gentle smile appeared as the rain plastered more hair to her skin. "Mmm very..." His head dipped and tasted the coolness of her lips and he held her tighter to give some of his body heat.

Her fingers ran up his shirt, feeling how warm he was despite the temperature. He was almost like an oven and she pressed closer to take some of the heat off him.

His tongue ran over her lip before her mouth parted and ran along hers. Fingers splayed over her back, one trailing for her head. The other ran along the spine.

She shivered and tightened her hold. The cold was quickly leaving and it had nothing to do with his temperature. The general timidness of kissing him also faded, making her bolder and she grasped that. Hands fumbled for his mid-back length braid and pulled the tie out without hurting him. She quickly untangled it with help from the rain and soon it was as disheveled and wild as the bangs almost touching his nose.

Her confidence was always welcome and he had to admit, he might've encouraged her a few times. It was nice to see the hidden person come out, the person she really was.

The only problem was it turned him on like none other.

His lips attacked hers and she was a little startled, before her brain made connection and her body speeded up. She responded and met his pace, no longer cold and feeling rather warm.

Why did she not agree to come out here again? Her brain was trying to remember what stupid reason she could think up for trying to refuse something this sexy. Kissing in a downpour with a boyfriend she grew to care a lot for...

She admitted to liking him a lot. Every time he was near, he made her smile and laugh and her heart pound. His touch did so much to her; he calmed her down, sped her body up, and made her feel special. He meant a lot to her, but perhaps it was time to think of just how much so she knew what these feelings were.

Right after she picked her brain up from the four winds.

He was at that point where he had to touch here again. Not want – had. And now that he knew he found the one he was looking for, it only made the need that much more desperate.

His hands slowly trailed down her spine and circled her lower back for a bit. He felt her tremble, but knew it couldn't be against the cold. She always trembled whenever they made out, and he had been with enough women to know what that meant. Wasting no more time, hands dove down and grasped her behind, pressing her against him.

A strong whimper left her mouth before she could stop it and her hands death-gripped his shirt. A jolt in her abdomen hit her hard and emotions rose over thought. She all but attacked his lips and moved her hands to touch his skin, up and down over the muscles of his back.

He fought a groan and hands kneaded her rear, pressing her against him again. Her shorter height was a problem and he wanted to sit down, but if he did that, their heads would clear. All he wanted to do right now was feel her.

She was in bliss and wanted more. She wanted him and wanted to feel more of him. She didn't know what to say, so let her hands wander and explore for her.

There was a small circle being drawn right above his jeans and it hit him below the belt. He moaned and pressed her again.

This was getting them nowhere. He wanted to keep touching, and she seemed to have no compunctions, but he didn't want her to regret anything. He knew she didn't really, but that didn't mean she couldn't. He wanted it to be special and though this would be memorable, they would both freeze.

Not to mention cold rain wouldn't do HIM any good.

He didn't want to stop, but had to. Not for his sake, but for hers.

"You're shivering." He mumbled against her mouth. His hands left temptation and remained on her back so his mind could clear a little. He let the continuously pounding rain cool him off...though THAT might be a long time coming.

She mentally screamed and whined at him, but green opened as she tried to understand him over the roaring in her ears. All the blood in her system seemed to move directly over her eardrums and decided to make her deaf. "What?"

He forced himself to pull away though his body was screaming at him for doing so. He felt like kicking himself in the ass when he had a very willing person to end his celibacy with, but was also angry for being so weak. His track record could continue until she decided he could end it.

A hand rose and cupped her cheek, seeing a small mist come from her mouth. "Your skin is clammy. You're probably chilled to the bone. Your body is shivering."

She blinked, wondering if she should say something about that.

'If I'm shivering it's because you turned me on? Yea right...like I want to invite humiliation by saying THAT one.' If Inaki knew just how frustrated she was – and a little touched – by being stopped, he might just continue. As much as her body was anticipating it, she didn't know if she wanted that just yet. 'Yet you seem to have no trouble GETTING to that point.' She mentally smacked herself on the head. 'Idiot.'

His lips tilted a little as he regrettably pulled away. Even in the dark, he could see her breasts puckered against her shirt, clearly outlined with the water, and mentally kicked himself again.

If he was someone else, he would probably be shouting obscenities for ruining it. But he had to admit...they looked pretty damn nice right now and hands twitched to touch them.

'Gods give me strength!' He almost desperately prayed.

"Come on...I think you've been daring enough. Time to get you under some cover." He tugged her to the porch and watched as she rung her hair out. He smiled and did the same.

She watched as his head shook a few times before straightening the long locks to his back. Her heart fluttered and she was hit below the belt at how delicious he looked. Teeth harshly bit her lip at how bad she wanted to pin him down and take advantage of him.

'Not like he'd mind.' She mused, forcefully keeping herself from looking to his waist. 'Even with cold water, he wouldn't mind at all. You had your proof.' She fought to keep from giggling at that – she didn't want to tell him what she found so funny and was forced to explain!

"I'll walk you to your car." She offered, feeling her temperature dropping. She should get inside, but didn't want to let him go back out alone.

He smiled at her generosity, but shook his head. "I'm at the other end of the block – it's not worth you getting so soaked again."

She scowled. "But you're there already. And who was the one who made me go back into the rain?"

He smirked. "I didn't hear you complaining."

She flushed and was thankful for the night. She took a deep breath to bypass the indignity. "You heard me complaining from the porch. But I'm not letting you go out and then get in your car like this. You – you could...always stay..."

He smiled, but shook his head. As much as he would love to cuddle against her and tuck her body against his – so much more with the intensity of his feelings – he didn't trust himself right now. Not as turned on as he was, and not in her bed.

And not with Sam as pissed as she still was.

"I know I'm down the block, but I don't want an earful from Sam." He smirked. "I'd like to keep my jaw from being bruised again thank you."

She grimaced at that. "Yea...that was...unbelievable. Well, I still don't want you to get into your car and ruin the interior. I can throw your clothes in the dryer and loan you an umbrella for the time being."

"You should get to bed...don't waste that time on me."

She was already unlocking the door. "I insist." She held the screen open and pushed the inside aside.

"But..."

She glared a little. "Get your ass in there!" A thumb jerked to the kitchen.

He sighed and mock saluted before striding past. He took his shoes off, feeling a little bad for dripping on linoleum...even if it COULD get cleaned up.

"Everything is in the basement. I'll get us a few towels and meet you down there." She reported, already heading off. She changed first before grabbing towels and wet clothing to throw in as well. She stopped at the middle landing of the stairs when a thought struck.

She should have Inaki throw ALL his clothes in for it to have any good effect. Having him throw only his shorts in would be counterproductive. She gulped. The only thing to do...was have him throw his underwear in too.

Green slowly closed. After all that happened outside, seeing Inaki wet and in a towel – the first time was bad enough! – was going to snap her restraint.

But there was nothing to be done. She already told him to throw his clothes in.

She went back up to grab her robe and threw it on with the lack of arm-room before descending to the chilly basement. Her head ducked at the low overhang, seeing a solitary bulb on in the main room.

She paused on the bottom, body stilling at seeing Inaki's back and the dryer door open. He had his shorts on, but they hung off his hips and made an even better picture than the possibilities. When he turned, one hand suspiciously holding his head, she gained a damn good view of the chest she rested against on a regular basis.

She mentally kicked herself for allowing Inaki to stop when she saw how good he looked right this second. 'DAMN IT!'

"You know, a little warning would've been nice."

She startled from her thoughts and headed for him, throwing her clothes in. "Warning?"

"About that dip in the ceiling on the stairs. I knocked my head on it without knowing about it."

"Whoops?" She offered a caring smile and tried not to laugh at him. She handed over a towel for his hair, which he promptly dropped over his head. She smiled and shrugged out of the sleeves. "I told you to throw your clothes in the dryer so I brought this until they're done. It should fit."

He eyed the plain robe, the one K probably wrapped around herself after a shower or lazy day, and swallowed. A hand grabbed the back before he turned to a side room he spied on his initial trip down. "I'll be right back." He muttered, needing to put space between them to calm down.

'This might've been a bad idea...'

She listened to a zipper in the quiet and the plop of material on carpet. Down here was a perfect place to hang out in during hot days of summer and whoever built or renovated the place put up sheetrock to divide the area and also carpet to make it cozier.

But right now, it was a little too chilly to be wearing a tank and boxer shorts. It wasn't this bad upstairs, and now she was kicking herself. Her body was reacting to the cold, so she draped a towel over her shoulders to hide the evidence.

After she started the dryer, she hopped on top for the warmth seeping from it and kept hands clenched to the edge. That or she'd end up touching Inaki, and she would rather take her chances with the dryer.

How could one man look so damn hot?! She was glad to've got such a catch, but the temptation he was putting her through was not fun! She didn't know what to think when she would see him in her robe, but 'damn!' came to mind.

He had it tied loose enough to show a bit of his pectorals and make her drool. He folded the sleeves to the elbows and give off some of the build in his lower arms. The bottom ended at his knees, showing nice calves as well.

And to top it off, his hair was unbraided!

She trembled a bit and thankful the dryer hid any movement. She felt nervous being down here with him like this and wanted to go upstairs, but if Sam saw them...she knew Inaki was right about what she'd do.

It was best to stay down here.

"You...ah...want me to dry your hair?" She stuttered, giving him a sideways glance.

He looked to her, bangs stuck to his face, and smiled. "Knock yourself out." He handed the towel over and pushed off from the washer. He could've simply shifted his back to her...but seeing her sitting on the dryer like that...he couldn't help himself.

He stopped and leaned against the dryer...body now positioned in between her legs.

She forgot to breathe and almost dropped the towel as his arms leaned on either side of her legs over the top to help hold him up. He was dangerously close to touching her calves – all he had to do was flick a wrist a teensy bit either way.

She was glad to have something to do to hide the wavering of her hands. She marveled at how thick his hair was and wished she had a brush to straighten it with. She was the one to untangle it and had she not done so, there wouldn't be this mess.

But neither would there be this opportunity either.

Her lips pressed together to keep from smiling and miserably failed. She worked bottom to top until the towel was more wet than dry and was forced to stop. "That's all I can do. You've got too much hair." She tossed the towel over his head and grinned.

"Who was the one who undid my braid in the first place??" He kidded, pulling the garment off his head and turning to throw it on the washer.

She smiled shyly when he smirked. Her heart sped up at his nearness, but she vehemently bypassed it. "You always have it in that damn braid." She quietly retorted. Her eyes looked to a shoulder. "You...look better...with it undone."

His grin turned gentle as he stared. One hand moved and made her look at him. When he did so, he saw emotions there that caused adrenaline to run. His face became intense and brown darted to her lips. He took in her position and his, and the robe seemed to feel like ten layers of clothes.

Her heart was beating its normal marathon whenever he looked at her like that. The same emotions from outside reared back up and she was glad to be sitting down this time. She reveled in the feel he was creating by simply staring at her before the need to touch him was too great.

She leaned forward and heavily kissed him, hands pressing against his chest.

She touched skin, not cloth, and his body reacted in retaliation. Hands extended and grasped her rear immediately to tug her forward. He pulled her until she pressed against him fully and caressed her bottom.

Again, she whimpered and shook. Hands felt around his chest as if looking for something and finding it everywhere. She shifted the cloth open further and felt for his shoulders. She clutched them when a shot of heat hit and dug her nails into his skin.

He grunted, but pain and pleasure mixed. One hand remained where it was as the other dove under her tank and found hot skin of her back. She was soft there too and he felt around.

Her back arched, chest pressing against him. Another whimper sounded in the back of her throat. "In – aki..." She mumbled, mouth speeding up.

Her response only encouraged him. "Kalie..."

They were back at that dangerous situation he was worried about outside. They were to the breaking point and he could tell by the husk in her voice she was as turned on as he was. She clutched him like a lifeline, as he did her. They should stop before it got out of hand...REALLY they should...

Her hands left his shoulders to wind through the middle of her robe and clutched his back. Her nails ran up and down his muscles again just to touch him.

She needed him like she hadn't needed him before. This ache was building while the rumble and motion from the dryer was a catalyst. Neither was helping.

She didn't care about consequences, if there were any to consider – as they WERE dating after all – but didn't want to think of that right now. All she could think about were the mental images of him between her legs and the total feel of him touching her everywhere.

She wanted to feel him – all of him.

"Inaki...please..." Her mouth broke away in haste to latch onto an ear. She heard a hiss and his hands tightened almost painfully. "I - I need...I need you...I need you to...touch me...please."

He nearly choked. The tone she used, the hesitation with desperation backing that up...

The band holding his patience snapped.

Hands quickly moved her away and tugged at the strap to her tank. He found she was wearing no bra and exhaled a shuddery breath. His desire heightened to almost pain and he licked his lips. "You're...so beautiful..." He breathed, lips lowering.

She gasped when his mouth closed and his tongue toyed with her skin. Her body nearly spasmed with need as hands frantically clutched the folds of her robe.

This couldn't be happening. He was NOT standing here with his mouth around one of K's breasts...with one of the worst hard-on's he had in his life. He wanted to continue and he wanted to get on with it...torn between both. He wanted to hear her cry out his name and he wanted her nails to dig into his back again.

Neither of those mental images was particularly helpful right now.

Her hands gravitated to his hair, clenching and unclenching. She was content to let him continue, but wanted to touch him back so he could feel the way she was. She didn't want him to have ALL the power...

On impulse, her hips rocked forward a degree and felt him through the robe.

He groaned as she cried out, trying not to tear his hair out. She panted and let the wave envelope her. "Inaki..." She whispered.

The desperation in her voice was rising. He didn't know if she was going to last much longer...but then...neither could he.

A hand rose and stopped next to his mouth, getting a soft moan as his fingers circled. He liked the way she sounded, the way she tasted and felt, and couldn't get enough of her. He wanted to lay her down and touch every inch of her with his mouth. He wanted to map her body with his hands to memorize her curves and see WHY she fit so well against him.

They were both thrown back to stark reality and the gravity of their situation, however, when a long, resounding beep came from the dryer.

Inaki shot back, losing his footing and falling on his tailbone. He welcomed the pain that took a large edge off the pleasure and took a few deep breaths.

She nearly screamed in surprise, and her body did as well at the feel of everything being taken away. She wanted to cry, but also wondered why she was allowing herself to let go in such a major way.

'Oh don't kid yourself!'

Both remained frozen as they tried to soothe their breathing and hearts. It seemed like forever until they calmed their bodies enough to be safe next to the other.

Her face flamed at her actions as she adjusted everything back to normal – still feeling tousled – and opened the dryer. She set their clothes on the top and bit her lip.

Something needed to be said, but she couldn't find words. What did she say in a time like this? They were past the make-out stage into heavy petting! One step closer meant all their clothes off and that made her nervous just thinking about it.

A hand came into her vision and she startled, turning to see a gentle look meeting her. "I'll be right back." She dumbly nodded and waited until he was out of sight before sagging against the dryer.

As she watched him walk off in the continual downpour, idly wondering if it was going to let up at all tonight, she mentally kicked herself repeatedly. One for allowing it to get that far and losing her head, and also for being so frustrated and unsatisfied.

It was time to do some serious questioning about her emotions toward this man. She normally didn't allow herself to throw everything to hell and go with the flow like tonight. There were the few make-out sessions, but none came to such physicalness. Neither was there such a need to be with him the way she hadn't since Brad.

To give herself to a third man meant serious issues. She never tried to be loose or lead people on the way she had tonight, and it was a big question why she was now. She felt sorry for Inaki having to live through such arousal, though she was in the same boat.

Giving it all up on emotion...this was more than serious.

It was time to do some more thinking. This time, exactly how she felt about Inaki Yamoi.


	43. Ch 43

In the past three days, she did more thinking over Inaki and her relationship than before they started going out. As she went back to some of her old analytical ways, she marveled at how much she stopped thinking and started feeling.

Inaki had MORE than rubbed off on her.

She knew it was time to evaluate herself, the emotions for Inaki, and HOPEFULLY find out what he felt...provided she didn't chicken out and found a way to bring it up. She knew by now he would tell her anything if she asked, but that was part of the problem. Inaki's opinion had come to mean something to her – come to mean a LOT – and she was scared of what she might find out.

She was being paranoid and distrustful again, but she would be devastated if this was one-sided.

She went through the whole rainbow of thoughts and emotions. Old doubts rose to haunt her, but it was inevitable as it was understandable. After more than enough time of arguing with herself, she came to a conclusion she mildly expected, was stunned at, and knew without needing to dissect.

She was falling in love with Inaki.

She was falling for him in a big way and one only needed proof by observing how she acted around him. She flirted, let him willingly hold and kiss her, joked, smiled, laughed, stopped spending so much time on her studies, let him meet her family and friend, met his family and friends, and most importantly...told him her past.

He changed her so much in small ways and was such a big part of her routine, she marveled at how she was before he came into her life. She was a mix between past and present, and she actually LIKED it.

There was a sort of peace and comfort in coming to terms with it all. She grasped the idea and held onto it. It explained her behavior that night and the thoughts running through her head.

Now was the time to find out. She would get his attention later when nothing could distract him. It had to be genuine or there was no point. She figured she wouldn't be able to tell him, but she wasn't worried about that.

Green followed him around before her vision dropped to the grass. One hand took a thoughtful pose over her mouth. 'This is going to be harder than I thought...'

In the blink of an eye, a body appeared in front of her; hands pushed her back to an awkward position – though kept her balanced; very familiar lips touched hers; and she was staring in surprise at thick lashes. She didn't even have enough time to finish the gasp she started, or lose herself in the kiss, before she was pulled to sitting position.

Catcalls and cheers hit her ears, but she ignored them for the wide, evil grin meeting her eyes.

Her brow furrowed in confusion, though her back tingled at his touch. "What was that for?"

"Woo, she's shell-shocked! Good one Yamoi."

Teeth bit his lip to keep from laughing and slowly let go. He kneeled in front of her on the porch and propped his head up with his arms and her knees. "You were thinking of something serious on a gorgeous day like today and we can't have THAT. And you're my girlfriend – it's my right."

He looked like a little boy in his movements and expression, and was too cute to ignore. A smile spread. "At least you didn't throw a sparkler in my face."

Brown sparkled with mirth. "Wouldn't dream of it. You'd find ways to get back at me and I know it."

She reached up and tapped his nose with a sugary smile. "Better believe it sweetie."

"Care to talk about it?"

"Ah -" Some humor died down before she smiled to throw him off. A hand plopped on his head. "I'll tell you later when it's just us, okay?"

His brow furrowed a degree, but he bypassed it and nodded. He could be serious later. "I think you've sat long enough. Come light off some more fireworks with us madwoman." He pulled her to her feet and kissed her again, but she was smiling too much to get into it.

She was ruining their fun, but didn't mean to. She resolved to shove it to the backburner until she needed to ask him. Besides, she was here to have fun too!

Chass handed her a lighter and she dropped in front of the box. She targeted a small string of firecrackers and stood, looking around with a grin. "Clear the area boys!"

They backed up a few steps in confusion and watched her take in the air and ground. She lit the string, dropped the lighter, and threw the bunch high into the air. Just as it started descending, she stopped next to Inaki and looked up.

There were half a dozen tied together and all popped before they hit ground. When the noise stopped, there was a brief pause and she eyed the others.

"Cool, we can have a challenge!"

"That was SWEET dude!"

"I wanna try that!"

A hand patted her head and ruffled the hair she still didn't have time to cut. "Good job babe. They're officially impressed."

She spied Rob already trying her trick and giggled. "Doesn't take much, does it?"

He snorted and snaked an arm around her waist to tug her close. "We're guys. The fact that you like firecrackers period won them over."

She grinned and leaned her head on his shoulder. "And you too of course."

His head followed hers, smelling vanilla. "Of course."

They watched for a few minutes as the three took turns trying to beat each other at throwing higher and having their firecrackers pop farther in the air than the other.

Green finally rolled. "I've created a monster."

He grinned. "They're already monsters. You just gave their short attention spans something to do is all."

~*~*~

Dusk started settling in and that's when most of her fun began. She didn't mind lighting off the bigger fireworks and watching the colors, but sparklers were more her forte. She just had more fun where they were concerned. For such a simple tool, it had so many uses.

"Not funny K."

She giggled. "But that's how your culture says it."

"Yea but it IS getting old. You can stop configuring my name like that."

She ignored him and went to spell his last name first and first name last again in the air.

He lit one of his own and made for the middle of the backyard, stopping a little ways away. He gained her attention and started spelling her full name in his culture to annoy her.

It started with the names, but somehow shifted to swordplay she was familiar with before. As she did with Sam at times, she parried with Inaki like they were fencing. Of course she was no match, as he had all the experience, and the second her sparkler went out, he put his still burning one in her face to proclaim victor.

She had to admit, she was having fun by being out of her element again. She was at his friend's house, using their fireworks, and eating their food. She was forcing herself to not mind that because she at the Inaki's all the time in the past months.

As fun as it was, she was getting anxious for the talk she planned. She wanted it over with, but also hoped Inaki forgot she mentioned anything earlier.

The night was coming, but there was no way to get him alone. Not at Kelar's house with Rob and Chass there as well. She didn't want to ruin the fun of the holiday, but if she was going to get any agreement for things in the future, she HAD to know.

The adrenaline in her system kicked up a notch at that.

Taking a deep breath for courage, she walked up to him and rested a hand on his back. Talking to him would do no good here with everything and everyone familiar to him. She wanted a place where they both knew and were comfortable with.

And she knew of the perfect setting to get him to express his feelings.

Congenial brown met green, but he blinked at the nervous look in her eyes. "Something up K?"

She smiled to try and put him at ease. "You remember what I said earlier about wanting to have a talk?"

He nearly startled in remembrance, disbelieving he forgot all about it! He looked around the backyard at the other three clowning around, and to the windows of the kitchen where the parents were loitering. "You want to go for a walk?"

Teeth bit her lip as she looked away for the briefest of seconds. "Actually...I have an idea. If you don't mind the drive...they have fireworks in Miami around nine or ten when the sun is gone."

He smiled and turned to toss the smoke bombs he intended on lighting back into the box. "Sounds like a plan. Good way to finish up the fourth." He stepped around her to get to the others. "Yo, guys!" The others stopped their own sparkler fun to give him their attention. "K and I are going to head out for something else. I'll talk to you later."

"See ya Inaki!"

"Have fun now."

He waved them goodbye and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Shall we?"

~*~*~

The drive down was rather quiet and he wondered about it. She made little small talk and most of that was verbal prodding. He hoped this talk was nothing bad, but he also knew she had a tendency to get too worked up over things which turned out to be not that big a deal.

Pasting a gentle smile, the hand closest to her left his lap and hovered in the air. He waited long enough for her to take notice, but his palm felt nothing but air.

"Hey."

Green whipped from the darkening horizon and blinked at the appendage. "What? What is that for?"

His fingers wiggled. "Gimme." He playfully ordered, sneaking a few glances off the road.

She smiled and obliged, feeling a squeeze when their skin locked. She swallowed as her arm tingled a little and felt a small stab low in her abdomen. She took a subtle deep breath to calm down, even though that was useless with his finger rhythmetically moving over the back of her hand.

He did small things like these that made her heart beat a little faster and made her appreciate him even more. Even if he was comical in his initiation, the reason behind them was sweet.

"So...you're not intending on breaking up with me are you?"

Her head turned so fast it was surprising she didn't hurt anything. "WHAT?"

"You're all serious and you haven't said much. It's nothing bad is it?"

Her heart beat a little faster. "No! No, it's nothing bad, don't worry about that. I wouldn't break up with you, don't worry about it."

He gave her a soft smile and concentrated more on the road, ready to take the first turn into the city. He didn't think so, but one could never be sure with an enigma that was his girlfriend.

It was difficult to find a place to park and they ended up walking a few blocks just to get to the spot everyone was congregating at. He wished they had a blanket to sit on, but grass was fine for him. The park was crowded with residents and he looked for an open area with a good view.

They could have better luck in a nearby tree.

"There!"

Before he could find where she was pointing, his arm was jerked to movement and he followed. Even with the temperature in the mid-eighties, he still situated her to lean against his chest. The extra body heat was a small price for the feel of her skin against his.

"So how much longer do we have to wait again?"

She looked around, seeing people still moving for a place to sit. "It looks like we're still pretty early. The masses are pouring in yet." She took time to lean back and enjoy the feel of his arms around her, and the emotions he evoked by those arms.

Being so close, he didn't miss the whisper of a contented sigh and moved forward to lean against her head. "Happy are you?" He softly asked.

She smiled and turned to press against his head as she felt his lips pucker over her temple. "It's nice." She sidestepped.

His arms tightened. "You're evading the question." One hand disentangled and poked her in the stomach.

She yelped and jumped, trying to grab him to stop. "Don't torture me! Not fair!"

"Then answer my question."

She slumped against him in a pout. "You're going to end up raising my tolerance to being tickled, you know that?"

He grinned. "That'll take a while you know. So stop wishful thinking."

She humphed. Her head leaned against his shoulder, looking at his face. "I'm happy." She finally reported, smiling a little. "I like being with you."

He pressed another kiss to her temple, heart fluttering at that admission. "That's good."

The sea of people had definitely slowed after a while, though she didn't know how much time they had left. Neither had a watch and she didn't feel looking around for someone that did. She wanted to get this over with so they could both enjoy the fireworks. That WAS part of the reason for coming all the way back here.

"Inaki –" Her lips pressed together as she stared at the grass.

His attention focused on her again. "Yea?"

"I was...wondering recently..."

She didn't get a chance to continue as his arms laxed enough to move her to visual range. "What's wrong K?"

Her head shook, barely able to meet his eyes. She didn't want to see nothing if she looked. "Nothing's wrong. I was wondering recently...about you and me."

His brow furrowed as a hand moved. A finger moved her to see him, something he had to do less and less over time. Why he was doing it now told him whatever she was trying to get out was important. "You sure this is nothing bad?"

She gave a split smile at his attempt at humor, but it didn't last. "I just realized...well I'm a simpleton when it comes to these matters but –"

He let her go to move her to face him. It was an awkward, not to mention compromising, position, but everyone was practically forgotten in his concentration. "I'll restate this again for the record. You can tell me anything or ask me anything; all you have to do is ask."

Her vision averted for a second as she nodded. "Lately, I was pondering...what you...how you felt...about...me."

Why was he always right about her making too big a deal about something that wasn't? This was such a simple question, one she had a right to ask, and she made it so hard.

But he could see her tension and suddenly knew this meant a lot to her. She was anxious because of that, which meant she wasn't asking just to ask...she really wanted to know. She cared about what he would say.

His hands moved to cup her face before he thought to do so and intense emotions bared down on her. "Kalie...I... I comprehended something very important about myself AND you that day at the beach." Her brow furrowed. "I never told you, but now that you're asking, I will." One hand laxed to stroke her cheek. "I almost lost you and I realized how much I liked being around you. I like hanging out with you and being with you, even if we don't do a thing. If you left me, by death or not, I wouldn't be able to handle that."

Her eyes watered and widened a little. Her mind was trying to connect what he was saying and disassociate with the luxurious feel of his calluses over her face.

"A lot of people where I live know that I'm searching for that one person to be with. It's like my personal obsession verging on the borderline of annoyance. I've gone through so many girlfriends – you know this – because of that reason. But I knew I found the one I wanted when I knew I almost lost you."

A tear fell from the sheer emotion he invoked. So she didn't get words of love, but this seemed to be as important. She knew how many girlfriends he had but never asked questions because she didn't want to know. She didn't find it necessary to know how many he dated, though he did tell her. She didn't care about the past...she just wanted to know him in the present.

The one? That sounded pretty serious.

"I - I don't know what you mean...Inaki." She whispered, hardly recognizing probably a hundred or so people could see their show.

Brown softened as fingers moved to stroke her hair. His eyes followed their movements. "Everyone wants someone to come home to at the end of the day...someone to always be with...someone to count on. Stuff like that. Something inside me was needing to be completed – as cheesy as that sounds – and I spent my whole life looking for it ever since I knew what dating was." His eyes locked with hers. "I never thought the feeling would ever go away. And then I got the privilege of dating you."

Her heart beat faster than before, emotions mixing with adrenaline. What he was pointing out sounded heavy and rather permanent. This was definitely not a love announcement – it almost seemed to surpass it!

She didn't know whether or not she was looking to hear the words from his lips, but this would DEFINITELY do. She had her decision and knew what she was going to do in a month. Nervous anticipation hit her already, but she shoved it away.

She had a whole month to be worried about THAT.

She didn't bother answering him or asking any more questions. She leaned forward and gently kissed him, releasing bottled up feelings. His thumb ran over cheekbones and her face tingled. Her hands somehow found their way into his hair and there was that ever-present urge to unravel his braid.

What felt like a while later, a sudden noise and light startled her back to reality. Her face jerked behind as far as she could, finding the dying colors of a firecracker. She gave him a brief glance before sitting as before and breathed another contented sigh. His arms squeezed in a silent message that made her heart ping.

She was so in love it was almost pathetic.


	44. Ch 44

She was getting a little aggravated with being so nervous all the time, but this day couldn't be helped. This was a decision she thought long and hard on - something she could very easily bypass and wait with a while longer - and it was understandable to be so nervous. This day was important for a few reasons, and she hoped it would be memorable as well.

"Arigatou obaasan."

She mentally startled to the outside world and green pulled off the carpet to look at Inaki. Her lips twitched at just seeing him smile. Her heart thumped for a different reason and she felt warmth as she stared at his profile.

"You deserve it magomusuko. This day only comes once a year."

"Open mine next ototo."

"Didn't I already open one of your presents?"

Jayden grinned like a little child and shoved a relatively small package in his hands. "Yup, but you weren't done."

Inaki took the present with a little good-natured grumbling. "You already bought me something you know_..._that wasn't enough?"

Jayden leaned back and brown watched him tear it open. "I was going for a theme this year. It might not look like it, but I am."

Inaki's eyes widened in sheer appreciation as he stared at the small bundle in his lap. "Sweet! Doomo arigatou nee-chan!" Happy brown met brown and Jayden nodded.

"Your birthday only comes once a year after all."

She smiled at the pair. She never got tired of watching Inaki and Jayden interact. It was almost mirror to Sam and her brothers in a different ethnicity. She was also envious and a little jealous at watching, but that came from the only child syndrome.

She almost felt a little bad for not bringing Inaki anything, but she had a whole explanation prepared with a few alterations just in case. Only the family surrounded her, but she was told his friends had a small celebration earlier. This was family time right now.

It warmed her heart immensely to know she was included in the package. And not just because they thought her Inaki's girlfriend and invited her on a technicality.

"I don't see yours around here. You didn't get me anything K?"  
She jumped a little and again came from her mind. She gave Inaki a practiced, apologetic smile and looked embarrassed.

Not a hard task.

"I - ah - I kind of...forgot it." She mumbled, feeling a blush. "I DID get you something, but it's still in my room." She grimaced a little; that sounded lamer than when she practiced it. Surrounded by a surrogate family and giving such an excuse? She knew Inaki would've turned around to go back for it. Not to mention she knew this day was coming for a long time.

He smiled and waved her off. "Don't worry about it. We can go get it later."

She smiled back, trying not to show how nervous she was again. "I'll give it to you when you take me back tonight. You don't need to make so many trips."

"Okay...now that THAT'S settled, open okaasan's ototo!"

"I just opened one of hers too!"

Jayden smirked. "Have any of the Yamoi ever given just one gift at a time?"

He snorted at the half hypothetical question, but grinned. "Do we ever?"

She left him to the presents, knowing she was mildly ignored for the current task, and went back to thinking. She didn't care if he kept catching her off-guard, but this WAS kind of hard to ignore after all. It was the biggest step she could ever take. She was the one to initiate this, not him. She was never the one to take these matters into her own hands.

This was going to be a challenge of inner, emotional strength. She already decided and she COULDN'T back down! She wanted this, she knew INAKI would want this, and she couldn't wuss out because she was afraid of taking another step.

They'd gotten to that point so many times before and she never had an issue with it. But then...those also simply happened and it was an emotional decision, not a theorized one.

_"You're sure about this?"_

_"I've given it quite a bit of thought, but yes."_

_"Well...knowing you...that's a lot."_

_There was a beat of quiet. "I - I hope there's no problem with you...knowing about this -"_

_The silence went on again. "Well...I guess I'm pretty much over it. I was just upset -"_

_"THAT'S an understatement."_

_"Shut up. I guess I've gotten most of it out of my system." There was a snort. "But this explains why you were basically freaking out all week."_

_"I was NOT!"_

_"Spare me the defenses. You were and YOU know it."_

_Green looked to the pan holding dinner. "What do you want from me?? It's been a very long time –"_

_"Too long I think."_

_"- and I don't even know if I'll follow through with it."_

_"Oh pulease.__ You know how damn sexy that body of his is. Once his shirt goes, you'll be putty in his hands."_

_She couldn't even glare because that was stark fact. She grinned and grabbed the potholders from their normal spot. "You're...correct anyway..." Dinner was set down before anything else was said. "You're not mad anymore are you?"_

_Sam heaved a sigh. "I guess I've gotten over it. After all...it's been long enough right?"_

_Hands rested on her hips. "Does this mean you're going to stop calling him an asshole?"_

_Sam grinned and propped her head up on the table. "I suppose..." The girl heaved a put out sigh before a wicked grin crossed her face. "This means I get to go back to staring at his butt when he's not looking."_

_"SAM!"_

_Said person laughed and a hand covered her mouth. "Like you haven't in the past yourself!" She defended. "It's too nice to NOT look at so don't give me that." She didn't argue, but no way in hell was she going to verbally agree! "Aside from the arms, and the chest, and the waist, and the abs -"_

_"NOW you're pushing it." She playfully warned, giving her friend a look. "You ARE talking about MY boyfriend here. If I didn't know you so much, I'd accuse you of trying to steal him away."_

_"Please, that boy only has eyes for you and we both know that."_

_There was a small pause as the two finally sat at the table and dished plates up._

_"If you want...I can disappear for the night. That way you two won't have to be quiet."_

_She nearly spit her food across the table. A hand saved that, but she quickly shoved everything aside to cough what lodged in her throat. A fierce blush lit her face as she glared at her roommate as her back was pat._

_By the time everything was under control, she had to get up to wipe the tears from her eyes and opened the freezer to cool her face off. "You are horrible." She muttered, watching her breath cloud._

_Sam continued eating. "Honestly...I would rather NOT hear anything. I may rant on and on about my fantasies concerning you two, but that's a bridge I won't touch with a ten-foot-pole. I'll kill a few hours and be home at midnight, okay?"_

_She sat down, face still too warm, and nodded. "That...um...should be enough time." Her face heated up more. It wasn't that she didn't talk and kid about this stuff with her friend, but the foreshadowing was unnerving._

_"You have tonight off for it right?"_

_She nodded again and purposely stuck the spoon in her mouth. This was more embarrassing than it was supposed to be._

_Now that the serious talk was out of the way, a smirk started gaining. "Well...classes don't start that early in the morning. Who knew you'd have the foresight to prepare for the next morning in case you're too tired?"_

_Hands covered her face as a full-blown blush erupted. "SHUT UP!!"_

Sam was SO annoying, but she still intended on making herself scarce. That was a blessing in disguise because not only would she NOT be able to do anything with Sam at home, but Sam didn't need to hear that.

She was at odds with herself about taking work off just for tonight. That was irresponsible and definitely selfish, but she had a feeling she was not going to care in a few hours. 

"Yo...you're spacing out again."

Green jerked to brown. "You actually noticed?"

He gave a smirk. "I notice everything about you." Raven brows wiggled as he leaned forward. "Didn't you notice THAT by now?" She fought not to giggle as he kissed her. He pulled back far enough to look into her eyes. "So...ready to head back home now?"

Butterflies flared as bad as they'd been for over the past week, but she nodded anyway. The last thing she wanted was for him to suspect something. This was going to be a surprise, and even if he DID get a few hints, he'd still be blown away.

She fought not to laugh at the look on his face that she imagined in her mind.

"Well let me put this away and let everyone I'll be gone for a while."

Her jaw clenched as she tried to calm down. This anticipation was going to be the death of her. If only she had twenty minutes to go run around the block a few times or something!

'Yea right.' She mentally shook herself as she got off the sofa and followed him out of the family room. 'Get a grip on yourself. You want to be this nervous when you show him? He'll be too hesitant and not agree.'

She had to admit, she wanted it as much as she knew he would. She felt so different with Inaki than with the others. The nervousness and anticipation – combined with the fantasies and wonderings – were churning inside her at a combination she hadn't felt in forever. Truth be told...she was looking forward to this a little bit. That was a scary thought, but she had to admit it.

The last bit in July sent a tingle over her body every time she thought of it. Remembering his lips over her breast was enough to excite her to where she was when they were actually there.

She came to recognize something during the wait time. This was going to mean more to her than anyone else. The quality, not quantity, of their time together was something she theorized. She felt ready for this, yet hadn't even considered the time. Being with him seemed right and that they'd been dating longer than four months. Time didn't fly – though that WAS correct – it was being with him that did it.

She didn't like being so quiet on the ride back, but he didn't seem to care. That or he didn't notice.

'I hope he likes it. It was embarrassing enough having SAM pick it out for me, and knowing my size was scary. What did she do...shop around for ideas until I finally told her??' It was discomfiting to know Sam was fantasizing – at least until Inaki pissed her off – about them, and she wondered just how much thought the girl put into it.

As was said by what was lying on her bed.

A small shiver stole up her spine, though it was tinged with expectation. She had to admit, she looked good in that – DAMN good, but it was anyone's guess to how Inaki would react.

She smirked. 'He's a guy. He's going to react like ANY guy when he sees a woman nearly exposed in front of him.'

"What's so funny?"

She jumped from her thoughts as she had every single time he got her attention. She felt a little guilty for being so far away from the one person she was thinking about. 'Ironic central.'

Hands clasped to keep from being fiddled with. "Ah...nothing."

A raven brow rose as he took one of the turns to her house. "Didn't look like nothing." Brown remained on the road, but knew he had her attention. "You've been out of it all day...more than usual too."

A hand whipped out and slapped an arm before she could think. "Hey now!"

He grinned and shied away a little. "I'm serious. What's on your mind?"

Her eyes widened a little as she frantically thought of something to get him off the subject. Nothing was working. "It's nothing, I swear! Don't worry about it will you?"

"You sure are defensive." A hand unwrapped from the wheel to poke a side. "And I know you're defensive when you hide something. Something I bet I need to know about."

He would know about twenty minutes after they got inside the house, but she shoved her tongue in between her molars and kept quiet.

He intended to keep asking, but was sidetracked at the absence of Sam's car and paused in front of the house. "Working late tonight is she?"

The car remained on in park as she turned to him. "Oh yea...I forgot to mention... Sam told me she's basically forgiven you."

Again, his brow rose. "Really? She's going to stop putting me through hell now?"

She smiled and leaned forward. "She's a little protective. I think you know this by now. But she told me earlier this week, I just forgot about it."

He shut the car off. "Then I guess the coast is clear for me to park my car here and not worry about a nice key-line when I return."

She giggled and got out with him, allowing her mind to think of that little possibility beside what lay in front of her.

She reached for the house keys and let them both in. It reared again as she locked the door. They were alone and it was only eight. 'Four hours...' The keys were set on the table with a jangle. 'That'd better be more than enough time...'

"So where's my present at? You said it was here."

She turned to hide the blush on her face and slipped out of her sandals. "It's...ah...here. But I remembered - it's not...wrapped."

God...was it possible for her heart to beat any faster than it was now??

"Well THAT'S not very responsible of you." He muttered, peering at her. She seemed a little off, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Tension was definitely visible, but he had yet to figure the source out. Why she was so anxious was a mystery and he wanted to talk about it, but she always shrugged that stuff off. He wanted to help, but that was hard when he didn't know the cause.

She turned at reaching the steps, a hand trying not to grip the banister. "Just so you don't peek, stay down here. I'll call you when it's ready." She popped a smile on, even if it was superficial. "Go ahead and make yourself comfortable."

'You're going to need it.'

"I always do." He answered, heading to the kitchen, eyes locked on the fridge. He passed her on the stairs with barely a glance.

She didn't know if she was relieved or annoyed. He ate enough at home, yet kept raiding the fridge. She was a good cook, but definitely was no rival for his family.

Shaking her head, she looked to the upper banister and tried to swallow. This was it...no turning back. Inaki was here; Sam was gone as promised; she had the outfit, music, and mood. She had to get rid of this stupid fear.

'The only thing you're worried about is exposing yourself with that and having him walk out.'

It was a valid worry, if not an unnecessary one. She knew once she got within arm's reach of Inaki, she'd be done for. One touch from either person, one look was all it would take. 'This was never this nerve-wracking in the past!' She whined.

She contemplated that as she shut the bedroom door and quickly moved to the candles she left spread throughout. Vanilla loitered the air before she was done lighting the half dozen.

Perhaps it was so upsetting because she knew what she was doing. This time was not clouded with emotions. She had a feeling this would be meaningful and mean something to them both.

Having it not mean anything to Inaki was what worried her.

She wasn't worried about performance or anything because she knew he'd take the lead. She wanted this to be special, hence the candles and music. This was their first time, it would change everything again between them, and she wanted to start that off right.

She harshly swallowed as she eyed the slip of cloth on the bed in horrible lighting. The only reason it stood out was because of the blanket's color. Tight black mesh gave nothing of the imagination, yet concealed it as well. There was practically nothing to it for it being so expensive. She picked it up by the shoulder straps and emotion hit her below the waist.

Inaki was going to see her in this...and God only knew what he was going to do the second he laid eyes on her.

She exhaled a shaky, pent-up breath and forced herself to inhale. She needed to calm down, even if she didn't need to gain her head. She was trembling enough and would be doing plenty of that later, she just knew it.

It didn't take long to disrobe and put on the so-called 'outfit', but she was worried about breaking a strap. Not a good impression and she spent too much for it to be shredded on the first wear. 'Provided Inaki doesn't do that job for me.' She prayed, trying not to smile.

It was time to get on with it. She was going to go crazy if she didn't and he was waiting for her to come downstairs. She peeked the door open and stuck her head into the hallway. "Inaki...can you come up here?"

"I thought you said to stay down here!"

"Just PLEASE come up here." A hand gripped the knob. The only thing she could do was slam the door and lock it.

'No...take a few deep breaths...'

His footsteps halted that try and her heart picked up pace – if that was even possible. She cracked the door and hid behind it, too cowardly to face him until he got inside. The closer he was the less chance he'd turn and walk right back downstairs. The door swung wide and she was lucky it didn't hit her.

"Why're the lights off?"

"Leave them off!" She rambled, mentally hitting herself for that one.

His head swung to her voice. Vanilla assaulted his senses, but knew he shouldn't be surprised. He turned and started to close the door, and halted.

His eyes widened and jaw dropped. Brown took in her form and gravitated to a hand that fiddled with a delicate hem stopping at the very top of her thigh.

He had a feeling he'd be drooling if his mouth wasn't so dry.

It was some time before he picked up his brain and comprehended that SPEAKING was a good thing right now! K looked insecure, but also searching for his answer with her eyes. It was written all over her face.

"You're...that..." A hand dumbly rose and pointed to what looked like a teddy. He swallowed again as her breasts caught his attention. It was too hot all of a sudden and the urge to fan himself was overpowering.

Was she worried about being cold in this? Whether she was or not was irrelevant right now – the scorching, yet shocked look directed her way was enough to boil her blood! She wanted to shuffle, but leaned against the wall and focused on its touch to keep from going nuts.

Wasn't he going to SAY something??

He was frozen where he stood. His hand still rested on the door and the only way he knew was the cold feel in his palm. He kept looking up and down, lingering a little longer on what barely covered. A small patch of dark caught his sight and he swallowed.

She wasn't wearing underwear under that thing.

A jolt hit him on realization and arousal worsened. It didn't take long, as he was content to stand and stare. He could stare at her all night as long as she wore this thing.

So he wasn't going to say anything. She kind of expected that, but it was still hard to find words to pull him to reality. She toyed with a nail and looked away. "I know this's a little presumptuous..." She nearly whispered. "But I did a lot of thinking over the past month. I know this'll change things...but I can handle it. I decided on your birthday to make it special. I know I haven't said anything...and if you're not ready...just tell me to change."

She was crazy – it was official. If the lights were on, she would know how inaccurate that last statement was. It was amazing he was still standing! 

But her insecurities sparked his protectiveness and finally got feet to move. He was in front of her and attacking her lips before he could blink. His body pinned her against the wall and pressed against her.

Her arms somehow found their way to his neck. His hands splayed over her back when it arched and burned her skin. Their tongues clashed at a rapid pace, trying to convey, dominate, and touch all at once.

It was some time before he pulled away to breathe. "You look so damn hot in that..." He mumbled against her lips. Hands lowered to her rear and pushed her against him. "You feel that?"

His low, husky tone was sending chills through her. She barely managed a response, not one to be that bold with pillow-talk. "Yea..."

"You did that to me. Trust me – I'm ready." His lips went to her neck and snacked.

Her head dropped back and thumped against the wall. She barely noticed over the heightened level he made. And she thought she was on cloud nine already! Her arms laxed and his tightened. She felt herself slacken and forced her body to keep from melting to the floor.

It was some time before he pulled away. The wall was nice for support, but he was not going to have their first time against that. Perhaps for spice, but the bed it was right now.

He slowly stepped back and tugged her forward by their clasped hands. He held a disarming smile, seeing she was still nervous. Her boldness definitely startled him, but he would be a liar if that wasn't one of the things that helped turn him on.

She perked up to one thing she forgot and mentally hesitated a few times before stepping around him. She pressed pause on the cd player, having set it already, and keyboard music filtered the silence.

**There'll be no darkness tonight**

**Lady our love will shine**

**Just put your trust in my heart and meet me in paradise**

**Girl you're every wonder in this world to me**

**A treasure time won't steal away**

He KNEW there was a reason he liked this cd. This song was more than perfect for what he wanted to express, and what they were going to do.

He stopped her near the bed and loosely put his arms around her waist. Hers rested over his as he stared. He was going to do this with as much thought as she apparently put into it.

**So listen to my heart**

**Lay your body close to mine**

**Let me fill you with my dreams**

**I can make you feel alright**

His lips gravitated to her neck and worked their way down. She moved the strap for him and he nudged that down to expose a breast. He slowly lavished it, hearing panting above. He worked his way to the other to give it the same attention. His reward was the slightest of moans, but he picked it up over the music.

He didn't want to get ahead of himself. He wanted to do what had been a few recent fantasies that cropped into his head, but feared he was going to say screw those. Seeing her in this made him want to throw her to the bed and rip what looked like easy-tearable fabric. Doing this and making her moan was the only thing that would hold his sanity in tact.

Provided his restraint didn't snap when she made those noises.

**Lay back in my tenderness**

**Let's make this a night we won't forget**

**Girl I need your sweet caress**

She was going to pop unless he did something to stop or change gears. She couldn't believe how sensitive she was, but the timeline was bound to do that. This almost felt like the first time, but she could almost regard it as that. This was their first time after all.

The music was not only romantic, but sexy. The instruments and singer provided more than enough mood. The first time she listened to this – finally taking time to do so – she knew she had to use this. It fit perfectly. If she could keep it on a repeat track she would, but that would be annoying and distracting after a while.

She didn't want to be distracted on anything when she could be feeling him.

**Reach out to a fantasy**

**Two hearts in the beat of ecstasy**

**Come to me**

It was a task to get that thing off her, and he wondered how the hell she got it on in the first place. She helped, but it wasn't fast enough. He was so close to ripping it apart to have access to her, but forced control.

There would be plenty of time to lose control.

She sat on the bed and scooted to the pillow, watching him. He suddenly realized he was fully clothed when she was in her birthday suit and set out to fix that.

It felt good to have air caress him entirely and the pressure of jeans off him. He smiled when K's eyes lowered, but bit his tongue. He didn't feel like losing the mood to have her voice embarrassment.

Kissing her again was so nice and he gave in to it. The feel of her skin blazed against his. She fit so nice and now he knew why – her curves were in all the right spots and she filled in all the right places.

This was better than any daydream he could concoct. He couldn't imagine himself positioned in between her legs as he was because he never thought this would happen, let alone K initiating it. At least he didn't have to worry and wonder whether she was ready or not.

**And I will keep you warm through the shadows of the night**

**Let me touch you with my love**

**I can make you feel so right**

His weight was not bothersome in the slightest. His lips were nice, but she wanted him to hurry. She needed him, but was too shy to say it. Her hands roamed his back, feeling how warm he was. Her hips shifted a little to give him more access, trying to hint to him.

A calloused hand moved from the side of her body and to her hip. His body rose enough for that hand to slip between them and move. He trailed down and gave the barest of touches.

Her body jerked as she moaned in his mouth. He needn't check, but that felt too good. She'd let those fingers continue, but he could do that with something else and it would feel just as good.

Her arms tightened around him when he went back to the same position. He hovered just outside – she could feel him – but didn't shift. He seemed to be waiting for something, but she didn't know what.

She was tired of waiting.

"Inaki..." She pleaded around his mouth. "Please... I – I need..."

"What do you need?" He breathed. His chest rubbed against hers.

She gave a quiet whimper. "I – I need...you... Please."

He gave her what she wanted and he almost choked. She fit as well inside as she did outside. He tried to go slow, knowing he wouldn't hurt her, but his body wouldn't have anything to say about that.

**Stay with me**

**I want you to stay with me**

**Don't you go nowhere******

He felt better than what she imagined. It didn't take long before she moved with him; desperate to find the ending she knew was waiting. Their rhythm stayed synch for the most part, but she was too frantic to keep pace.

Her noises weren't as loud or often as he expected. She must've panted her mouth dry by now, but he could tell she was holding back.

"Kalie..." He murmured, face lowering to the crook of her neck. "We're alone - you can let it out..."

Teeth nibbled her skin and his tongue ran over for the aftermath. She wanted to shy away from his words, but that was kind of hard for what they were doing right then and there.

"Come on..." He coached, hitting a spot he knew she liked. "I want to hear you. I want to hear you say my name."

She looked at him before her head bent against the pillow again. She was so close. If he kept that pace up...as long as he didn't slow down...

Hands clutched his back, nails digging into his skin. He took that in stride and barely felt it over the rising tide. He wanted to make it last, but couldn't help himself.

She wanted to order him to go faster, to hit that spot a few more times, but she had a feeling her actions were doing a good enough job. It crept at the edge of her veins until it flooded like a dam. Her body tightened like a spring and uncoiled within a split second. A muscle in her eyes spasmed them closed.

And then it happened.

Over the roaring in her ears – somehow clearly heard – was the sounds of noises playing as if someone was fast forwarding a cd. Behind the blackness of her eyes, a kaleidoscope of pictures went at the same speed. It was going fast, but went even faster. In the span of the orgasm, it started and stopped.

What was THAT?!

That was the first time that ever happened, but she was floating too high to put much care or thought to it. She gasped for breath and sluggishly slid over and made room. She rolled into his arms, nuzzling his neck.

Why was it, the aftermath made her incredibly affectionate?

"Gods..." He rasped.

"Mm hmm." She hummed, reaching up to kiss his jaw. Her tongue flicked out and licked his skin, tasting sweat. His face turned and their lips met in a lazy kiss.

He didn't want to sleep, but his body was not making consciousness an option. "Sleep." He muttered, going for the covers.

She snuggled against him, entwining their ankles, and listened to his heart as they both tried to even their breathing.

~*~*~

Green peeked open at the sound of something jangling. Her head raised after a second of listening. She gave Inaki a quick look before eyeing the door. It was still open, but she didn't need a peep show where her room was supposed to be. She spared him a light kiss before climbing over and grabbing her robe.

She cracked the door after and headed for the stairs as hushed sounds rose. She leaned against a kitchen wall and watched Sam move around, hands in the pockets.

"So?"

She jumped a little, but headed for the table. "So what?"

"I vacated for two whole hours – sacrificing my sleep...I deserve details."

She speared the girl a dry look, but grabbed a spoon. "You CAN'T be serious." The look she received told her Sam was. "That's sick. I am not telling you about what we did."

"Sex or making love at least? What would you classify it as?"

She wanted to slap the girl and order her to shut up, but loud noises were going to wake up Inaki. She took the only robe upstairs and unless he wanted to get dressed, he was stuck.

"Probably a line between the two. It was definitely good though." A smile took hold of her face.

"Does this mean you're going to be more relaxed and not so anal about stuff?"

She glared and purposely stuck another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth to ignore that question.

Singer: Michael Jackson            Title: The lady in my life


	45. Ch 45

Her eyes peeked open to the sound of birds and squinted at the sunlight filtering through uncovered windows. She would've groaned and rolled over, but there were a few things wrong with that.

Space was even more limited, someone was hogging the blanket – not like she was cold in the slightest though, and a strong arm was draped over her back.

She stared at tanned skin, listening to breathing, and felt warm skin on her cheek. Her hand rose and carefully rested on his chest to keep from waking him. Her palm flattened and felt the steady thud of his heart and a small smile appeared.

The alarm jolted her from serenity and she nearly scrambled to shut it off. She made sure to get up an hour earlier than normal to could deal with this, but now all she wanted to do was lay in bed in the crook of his shoulder and stare at toned, tanned, smooth, muscled chest and -

She heaved a mental sigh.

'That was hours ago. Get over it!' She smiled despite herself and stared at him. The cold air of the morning chilled her skin, but she ignored that. The heat radiating off his body and what she felt with her legs under the covers helped keep her from freezing.

And have any consequences of her skin goose-bumping.

She could sit like this until he woke up. Sex appeal was SO underrated with this man who was haphazardly covered with her summer blanket and quietly snoring on his back.

She should've told him she loved him – that would've been perfect. She didn't know what he would do, but didn't have to think about that now. She didn't know whether she WANTED to think of that.

Would she be able to tell him?

Given she had such problems telling him ANYTHING serious, she doubted it. It was going to be like pulling teeth – wisdom teeth almost.

"Staring is not polite."

She jerked an inch when a hand touched her stomach. A heavy tingle went through her as fingers absently circled her navel. Her throat went a bit dry as her heart sped up.

"Morning." She quietly replied, mouth tilting.

He smiled back and slowly moved to prop himself on his elbows. "Hey you..." His lips met hers in a soft kiss. He couldn't help himself to behave that well with a naked girl within hand-length and one rose.

She sighed as his fingers created new circles to accompany the others. She knew he could feel her heartbeat, as his hand was almost directly over it.

She finally pulled back, torn between wanting him to stop and continue. "I should...get a shower."

He grinned and plopped back on the pillow. "Go ahead then, I won't stop you."

She stared at him, a little off-set by that. She looked to the robe hanging on her closet, wondering if she should even bother. Sam was still sleeping and would be for a while...and Inaki was still looking at her.

What was the point in putting on clothes??

She mentally shook herself and looked to her companion. He didn't seem intent on moving any time soon so she would have to climb over him. Adrenaline hit - she would be in prime position to mimic last night - but forced herself to move. She wasn't going to get anything done by sitting here.

She was halfway over, one leg and arm on either side of him, when his hips bucked up and off-balanced her. She crashed onto him and was too stunned to move.

He grinned and chuckled. Arms went over her back and pinned her. "On second thought...maybe I might. That position was too tempting to ignore."

Her face blazed, and she mentally catalogued she needed to stop after last night. Last night was the only thing she could blush over and she crossed that line.

He leaned up and nipped her collarbone. "Mm, you smell good. And you feel good too."

A conscious smile appeared. She allowed him to continue his administrations and remain in this compromising – and very arousing – position before school appeared in her mind.

"I really do need that shower."

He heaved a sigh, pondering on letting her go or not, before his arms tossed wide. He let her slide off him, which did not help his tolerance any, and watched her walk to the door. Brown checked the back out, eyeing the curve of her spine and the rear he touched last night.

'Nice...' He mused, feeling his body react. He rolled to the other side when she opened the door, not wanting to get into it again. Today was Friday and she had classes. He knew what she sacrificed, having a clear schedule of her work and college, and couldn't be that selfish.

Her body stuck through the crack in the door and he turned back, getting a nice picture of her chest again.

'On second thought...'

"I'll make breakfast when I'm done. If you want, go back to sleep and I'll wake you when I'm finished."

Go back to sleep...he was awake in more ways than one! She was a temptress of the worst degree. And he thought seeing her in tight clothes was sexy!

He groaned as the shower turned on and gave him a few good mental images. "She's going to be the death of me." He whined, slapping a hand over his eyes.

~*~*~

She wasn't sore, but that was a good thing. Hot water still felt nice to ward the chill of the morning and she let it turn her skin red.

It was nice to find, upon inspection, no hickies or marks Inaki made from last night. That would be hard to explain, and she didn't think makeup would hide them. It was too hot to wear concealing clothes and she would end up getting questions over that.

She stayed a little longer than intended under the spray, kneeling against the tub and letting the spray hit her back. The pounding felt nice and relaxing; too good to get out from.

She eventually relented and turned the faucets off, remaining in kneeling stance to drip-dry. She tried to shake the bangs from her face, but they were too thick and getting too long to move sufficiently.

Feeling cold as she stood, she slowly moved the curtain aside. More water dripped over her skin, but felt a lot better with her eyes closed, and wrists draped over the bar. She put a bit of pressure on the curtain rod in leaning on it and hung her head to dry some more.

He could VERY easily swallow his tongue right now...if he could get it to WORK. Taking a few seconds to make use of the trashcan for the used condom and wrapper – and the urge to sneak a peek – got him where he was now. Mischievousness to play a prank on her hit and he swiped the towel off the rack before silence descended and she was aware he was here.

He never expected her to give him the best chance to stare at her near perfect – in his opinion anyway – nude form and watch the droplets follow her curves.

Arousal hit so hard he nearly doubled over. Hands clutched the towel in a death grip and he used that stranglehold to keep from rushing her. The passion from last night rose and he wanted to relive that. He wanted to hear her cry his name again to solidify the memory for his time away from her.

Feeling that was enough time, she stepped back and hands went to wring her hair out. 'One of these days, I've GOT to get to a salon.' She mused. A hand stuck out and touched wall. Her brow furrowed and she tried again, but fuzz never encountered her skin.

Knowing there was something on the rack, she felt for the back of the shower, the same wall the towel was hanging on, and tried again. Wondering just what was going on, she finally moved the bangs from her eyes and wiped water from them.

Green opened and she loudly gasped, taking an unconscious step back and losing her balance.

Having lost some control and moved closer was the only thing that saved her from a concussion or something worse. Hands whipped out and grabbed her shoulders, trying to help steady her. Her skin was too slick to get a good grip, but he tightened his hold and hoped not to hurt her.

She took a few breaths to fix her heart and steadied herself. Her face was flushed enough with the temperature, so didn't have to worry about the flush getting noticed.

He took a step back off the mat and grabbed the towel to toss over a shoulder. "I thought you could use a towel-dry." He muttered, eyeing her.

Adrenaline surged, which she was getting rather annoyed at. The thought of Inaki touching her entire body with his hands, regardless of the towel, was going to make her restraint snap. She didn't know if it was a good idea or not, but feet still propelled her over the lip and onto the bathmat.

She couldn't look away from the emotion in his eyes. He wanted her, it was so obvious. Her body was reacting to that and she had a feeling she was matching what she saw.

He stopped mere inches away and raised the towel. He slowly moved it over her arms, somehow kissing her during that. It was more emotional than any others they previously shared.

The towel ended up wrapped over her back, hands fisting it to pull her close. Her arms snaked over his waist and set his body on fire when fingers splayed over his skin.

"I never told you...but I need a shower as well..." He mumbled over her mouth.

Green peeked open when his hold laxed. The implications of what he was talking about were so blatant. There would be water, but no showering.

He let the towel fall to the floor and hands moved to the back of his head. One grasped the braid; the other pulled the tie from it. Brown never left green as he unraveled it.

She was going to melt in front of him, that was all there was to it! Seeing him in clothes and hair was undone was torture enough, but NAKED and untangled hair made her want to toss him in the shower and take advantage of him.

If she had a feeling he was doing this on PURPOSE.

She was vaguely aware of twisting and turning the water back on. Hands rested on either side of her hips when she did so and that was her only warning before hips sluggishly moved him against her.

Thank God the handle was strongly attached to the wall or she would've pulled it out of the tile! She nearly fell at the emotion he evoked when he rubbed against the nub that throbbed with urgency.

She was getting to that frantic point again.

Doing a quick feel to make sure they wouldn't be burned, she stepped inside and beckoned him in with a finger. He quickly followed and she yanked the curtain back. Water fell off the vinyl before she turned the shower on and more joined it.

She attacked his lips the second water hit. Her tongue nearly forced its was into his mouth and hands kneaded his back. Her front pressed against his, rubbing a little with insistency.

He groaned, able to do so with the noise. It didn't take long for them to get drenched. He was barely able to see with bangs in his eyes, but seeing was overrated when one could feel.

In minutes, he was sitting on his calves and trying to get as comfortable as he could for what was going to happen. The anticipation was killing him, and knowing what it was doing to her was driving him crazy. She was frenzied and barely stopped touching him. The domination she was putting him through was sexy as hell and he decided to let her have her way.

The shower didn't make it easy to see as it pounded over their heads, but she didn't need to see. All she needed was stability and her hands.

She straddled his waist and hands fumbled in between them. She didn't let him get to it as she slipped over him. Dual groans sounded as she attacked his lips, hips starting slow.

Somehow, being the dominator gave her an extreme power trip and loosened the inhibitions she had last night. "Inaki...God..."

"Kalie..." His lips pressed against the top of a breast. He ached to touch lower, but was preoccupied with the feelings she created with her movements.

She was going as fast as her body and the aches from her knees would allow, and he could tell she needed help. Hands tried to grasp and move her, but water made her skin too slippery. He managed to get a hold and increased their tempo a few degrees.

She needed him to go faster. She wanted to lean back and let him take control, but this was SO not the place for this! Nails dug into his back as she tried to find a stable something to grab for leverage.

"Inaki...please, I need - I want...help me..."

How could he resist that? He knew what she wanted and a hand left her rear to oblige. It trailed over her skin and across the part before delving further below and out of sight. He touched hot flesh and rubbed.

She cried out and buried her face in his neck. Her mouth suddenly widened and bit him in a savage, primal urge. She tried to keep from drawing blood, but feared she did some damage when her body spasmed and her jaw closed a little.

Her response did him in. He quickly pulled away from her and let himself go, arms tight around her body. His body spasmed as well and his face buried in her breasts. It was intense, more so than last night.

They panted under the water, trying not to inhale it to their lungs. She weakly rested on his lap, body humming and knees hurting. She was going to be lucky to walk with them if the porcelain didn't damage anything. That was not the smartest move in the world, but chalk it up to sexual tension needing to be unleashed.

It was a good thing he lived so far away because she had a feeling this was going to be a habit with them.

She offered him an extra towel and grabbed the one he dropped to the ground. She wrapped it around her and made for her room to dry off, face thoughtful.

It happened again. Sounds of noises, an indistinguishable mixture of human and animal, were easily heard over the shower. It was as if the shower faded into the background and someone turned up the volume on the noises. The images came again too, but went too fast for her to grasp anything. They were all a split second and went faster. They were almost synchronized in speed and were over when he pulled away. It was almost when they lost deep, physical contact that she came back to reality.

She didn't understand it and couldn't pass it off to the heat of the moment and her mind going haywire from orgasm. This was the second time and it was the exact same thing.

What was going on? It was like a dream when she was awake.

Only during orgasm. That's when these...things occurred. She was unable to pick anything out because nothing made sense. She didn't know if it would happen again, but was not going to ask Inaki to volunteer a third time to prove her right or wrong. She was too tired for that and her knees hurt.

Right now she REALLY didn't want to go to class. She wanted to plop on her bed and take a long nap. But that was not an option, no matter how good skipping for the first time sounded. She had responsibilities and bent them too much as it was now.

Arms encircled her from behind, lips roaming her shoulder seconds later. Her head tilted the opposite way as she leaned against him and threw thoughts to the backburner.

"That was...incredible." He murmured, moving up to her neck. Gods she smelled so good...

She hummed a vague agreement. Class was sounded less and less appealing and all she wanted to do now was curl up against Inaki again and take a nap with HIM. She didn't want him to leave yet. She wanted to ignore the outside world right now. It might as well not exist with the way he was making her feel.

"I don't want to go to class." She nearly whined, absently staring at a wall.

"Then don't – stay here with me."

Her lips tilted. "I was thinking it. But I have classes and –" Hands rose and undid the towel, cupping her breasts and cutting her off.

"I'll make it worth your while..." He whispered, grabbing an ear with his teeth.

She arched, rear pressing against his lap. He licked her ear in response and she rocked again.

Was this possible?? She wanted him again and she just had him! Her libido was going to kill her if she didn't walk away and put some distance until their next meeting...

A hand shifted low and trailed over her front. It stopped at reaching her abdomen. His fingers tiptoed lower until he touched hot flesh and rubbed.

She whimpered and pressed into him. Hands touched her and she was forgetting what she was supposed to be doing. Not ENTIRELY, but it was getting easier to say the hell with it all and drag him back to bed.

"Stay with me?" He rasped, licking her neck.

"Yes." She breathed, whirling around. She decimated air between them and attacked his lips. After a bit, she realized he was still in a towel and set to fix that. She tossed it out of the way and started inching backward to the bed, lips attached.

He was as good as he was the first. She was in too good a mood from the time this morning to be domineering and gladly let him take the reigns. She easily accommodated him...but her theory ended up proving true again.

They came with the orgasm he made her feel. She still didn't understand a thing, but it confused her greatly. She was able to forget it as he pulled her close and her thoughts drifted in the aftermath.

She knew what caused it – even if that was odd beyond belief – and could rationalize why and how later.

Right now she just wanted to sleep.

~*~*~

Two hours later, classes entirely forgotten with something way more important, green stared at two bottles, trying to make a decision. 'They both work, but I don't want to buy both and mix. This isn't exactly Tylenol, but they do the same things...'

Their second time was enough for exhaustion to set in and both dozed until realizing the day was leaving them behind. He decided it best to head home and she set about trying to wake up.

She was so relaxed after that nap and such massive physical activity that it was amazing. There was no real bad thing in her head, at least until one thing became entirely clear and she started worrying a little.

Last night was okay – in more ways than one. It was enjoyable yes, but Inaki also brought something. This morning, everything was unprotected sex.

She had too much at stake to get pregnant and her periods were annoying enough to try and keep track of. They weren't exactly by a calendar, and she never kept any record of them to go by. The last thing she wanted was to weigh either of them down for about eighteen years.

Teeth bit her lip. She was still undecided. This wasn't rocket science true, but birth control was the same all around as far as she knew.

Why did they have to market so many brands anyway?

She tapped one against her cheek and looked to the half-dozen on the shelf. It was embarrassing enough to walk down this aisle, as pregnancy tests and condoms glared at her from their spots nearby. The last thing she wanted was to announce to the world her sex life was active again.

She grabbed one and decided to give it a try. There were about thirty pills in here...that was a month at least. She could try the other brands if need be.

Turning, she left the area and headed for the checkout. She almost wished she needed to go to an ACTUAL pharmacy instead of a grocery store, but at least she didn't need to get a stupid doctor's note now.

That would be perfect.

Her head shook. She grabbed a few twenties from her back pocket and hoped it was enough.


	46. Ch 46

The first time it got irritating was during her first class. There was really no way to tell it was going on as it was so faint, but when staring for a few minutes at her notebook or the screen containing today's notes, it was noticeable.

She thought it was due to the glasses. They were mostly reading glasses and she wore them only when doing homework, or occasionally when taking a lot of notes, as she was doing today.

Or perhaps it was the fact that it was the Monday directly after that fateful Friday and she was still affected by such massive physical activity. Not getting enough sleep might make her eyes hazy.

She tried not to blush at that, and cast it aside. Sex had nothing to do with the minute blurring of her eyes. This was the first time it was happening and she would've noticed if it happened with the others.

Inaki's performance had nothing to do with that either.

Her lips pressed together to quell a smile. She took the rims off and rubbed her eyes. Maybe it was because she hadn't blinked in a few minutes?

Classes were longer because of the blurriness, even if she only had four this semester. The only one she had not one ounce of issues in was her history of Japan class.

Whether she would've taken this sooner or later was unknown. The only reason she was taking it now was Inaki. She wanted to learn about his heritage to feel less awkward around his house. There was still so much she didn't know - even if his family was happy to share tales - but wanted to learn.

They spoke Japanese all the time in the house, though polite enough not to speak it whenever she was at the dinner table. She never mentioned the slight discomfort of feeling left out when they did that, but she was considering taking a Japanese class or two to get some basics down.

Still, it was odd that her vision was clear during THAT class...

It got most annoying when she tried to get aboard her bike. Bag secured over her shoulders; she went to swing a leg around. Then it seemed like someone grasped the world on the edge of her peripheral vision and gave it a good, vertical yank.

She gripped the handlebars and teetered. Only the bike kept her from falling into an awkward position, probably with it, and she quickly tried to balance.

What was going on?? Was it the heat? It was only high seventies, even if there was no breeze. She was dressed for the weather, so this wasn't heat stroke...

She kneeled to the ground and covered a hand over her eyes. She rubbed them, feeling better with darkness encompassing her vision and dulling one of the senses.

"Lose a contact?"

Her head jerked up at the familiar voice, but thankfully no spell hit. She smiled and accepted Chance's hand. She situated the bag and moved to the bike.

Green looked to it a little wary, wondering if she should get on again. "No," She absently replied, "you know I don't need them and don't really like them."

"Then what's the problem? I was heading for my car and saw you nearly drop to the ground." A hand on her forehead startled her. "You feeling okay?"

She gave a dry smile. "It's not possible to get sick in this kind of weather."

"Beg to differ...Mar got bronchitis in September a few years back."

She gave a generic grunt at that, not wanting to dig into the subject when there was no issue. Hands gripped the bars as she moved it into ready position to mount. There was a small grimace on her face as she prepared for another spell, but none hit. She successfully boarded with a little confusion.

Green blinked as she pondered that. What was the difference?? All day during notes, she had problems...now she was fine. She looked to Chance when the girl talked again.

'Is it her?' Teeth bit the inside of her lip. 'I WASN'T interacting with anybody during classes. All I did was take notes and listen to lectures. There's no way I could talk to anyone unless it was to supply an answer.'

She backed the bike up to the direction she needed and stopped. With a curiously furrowed brow, she inhaled. Being a nature lover, this didn't deter her much, and she sniffed the air some more.

"What ARE you doing?"

She grinned at Chance's odd look. "Someone's mowing the lawns. I can smell grass. I like that, don't you?"

Chance looked a little stunned and looked around. She heard a few quiet sniffs and indulged again.

"Ah...K...I don't smell anything."

She gave Chance her full attention, getting more confused. "Huh?"

"And I don't hear anything either."

"I don't hear anything as well, but that doesn't mean it's not on the other side of campus. You know the wind can carry."

Chance shrugged. "Maybe, but I still don't smell anything."

Her head shook, mind trying to make sense of it. "How can that be?? You're standing right next to me!"

"No clue K, but don't get so worked up over it. It's no big deal."

She was smelling grass and Chance – who was within arm's reach – wasn't. Unless her nose was playing a trick on her, this was TOO a big deal!

She was forced to bypass it as Chance started walking. She went with the girl to her car before turning to take the way home. She didn't see or hear any landscaping going on, and that bewildered her like none other.

But the smell of grass followed her all the way home.

It was easier to pick up with the wind she created by pedaling. She couldn't explain what was going on, and was thinking about it even when she got inside and up to her room. Thankfully, it didn't follow her in the house – that would've been too creepy – so she forced herself to get over it.

She had a little bit of time as usual to get some homework done before heading to the kitchen for dinner. Being so distracted in class and not really picking up what was done for the day, she resolved to look everything over and connect lectures to what she read in books for homework.

She was halfway through the first page when it happened again.

This was worse than the one on her bike. Instead of the world getting one vertical shake, it was like someone clearing an Etch-e-sketch.

She gasped and a hand quickly covered her eyes, trying to kill the sense, while the other grasped the corner of her desk for something solid. She needed solidity when the whole thing basically liquefied before her eyes.

It was over as soon as it began, but left her mystified and a little worried.

What was going ON?!

She removed her hand from underneath the glasses and slipped them off. She stared at the same frames she had for many years now and her lips pursed.

What if wearing them was causing it? They WERE old, as she had these during her high school years, and it wasn't a good idea to have glasses more than two years. The eyesight was a fragile thing – as she was being taught – and it would improve or worsen depending on how it was taken care of. She never had bad vision problems, other than a slight astigmatism, and mostly used them to KEEP from getting those kinds of problems...but perhaps it was finally time to get her eyes checked?

It was too odd to think about. She hadn't had an eye exam since she was a kid and it was part of a physical. She read somewhere along the way it was good to have reading glasses as a protector against any future problems. Being a careful sort, she thought it a good idea.

Green eyed her homework. She needed to get back to work, regardless of any issues with her eyes. She had a long-term responsibility to this and there had been so many problems in the past where she could've given in.

This shouldn't be an exception.

-----

She was rubbing her eyes for the third time in the second hour - getting as annoyed as she was worried - when Sam stuck her head in.

"Hey, what's wrong with you??"

She moved off her elbows to the seat and rested heavily against it. Her hand didn't let up in its task to soothe the muscles, hoping they were just being a pain.

The third time with the same intensity. This was an issue.

A hand rested on her shoulder, but didn't startle her as much, as she heard footsteps pad across carpet. "You okay?"

She forced the hand to drop, pulling her eyes from their cringe as well. "Yea..."

"Tired?"

Her right peeked open the barest of slits and tried to see past the thick fringe of lashes. "I don't know...maybe..."

Brow furrowing, Sam kneeled at the armrest and rested both hands on it. "You've been studying too hard again I think. Come downstairs and fix dinner."

She smiled and slowly opened both. "That's not much incentive for me to stop studying, now is it?"

Sam grinned and rested her chin on the K's arm as she draped it on the armrest. "Perhaps not, but if you don't, I'd just come back in about half an hour later and whine in your ear." Light blue widened to puppy dog proportions and stared.

"ACK! Don't do that!"

The eyes got her every time. They were the best feature Sam had and when she made that face she was absolutely adorable. It completed the picture when her lower lip stuck out too.

"Come on, I'll even help." Sam added.

"You help with my cooking..." She evenly answered. "Again, not much incentive is it?"

Sam gave an expression saying she was less than amused, before smiling and standing. "Just take a break already. If your eyes are hurting you, take a load off. You'll have plenty of time to study at work."

'Work...'

Who knew if this would happen when she was trying to serve customers? That would not only get issues with people she didn't know asking if she was okay when she was clearly not, but she was going to be on the clock.

But she couldn't call in with something she hadn't even classified yet!

A little grim, she followed Sam downstairs and soon switched gears to food as green searched the right side of the fridge.

'As soon as I can get some privacy, I'm going to call the optometrist.' She reasoned. 'No need in telling Sam this and getting her all worked up until **I **know what's going on. The last thing I need is her worried about something else in my life.'

~*~*~

"Kalie Himmen?" Her gaze looked up from a magazine as she met the receptionist. "If you'll come with me..."

She gave a polite smile and nod before putting the magazine with the others and getting to her feet. She followed the nurse down a short corridor to an empty room that was all too easy to classify as an eye doctor's office.

"He'll be in shortly."

The door was left cracked and she went for the chair. It was the only other main piece of furniture in the room besides the swivel against a small desk meant for the doctor.

She ducked around the bulkiest looking contraption she came across besides the cappuccino machines. This thing was going to check her eyes?? She was going to look like an idiot on the other side of this!

"Good afternoon Miss Himmen."

She watched a balding, grandfatherly-looking man step in and felt a little more relaxed. The man almost reminded her of Kekoy-san and she gained comfort in that small familiarity.

She watched him go to the desk and flip through paperwork. "So what brings you here today? Getting glasses or contacts?"

Her head shook, though she doubted he was paying attention. "I need a checkup. I haven't had one for probably a decade or more and my vision is getting a little blurry for some reason."

That got his attention.

"How so?" The man walked up and stopped at the footrest of the chair. "That can mean a few things, some of which shouldn't be a problem for someone your age."

That got her worried – not something she wanted right now. She wanted to know this was something she was blowing out of proportion.

Hands clasped together and her thumbs subtly twirled. "Well...it's happened a few times in class and when I do my homework. It's like the world shakes for a few seconds before it clears."

"Sounds like vertigo." The man mumbled. One hand reached to the breast pocket of his work shirt and pulled out what looked like a dinky pen light. "If you'll focus on my finger..." He asked, holding a hand on the other side of her face.

She did as ordered and nearly jerked back and banged her head on the equipment when he shined the light two inches from her face and was equally far away. She followed it to the other side as he checked her other, trying not to shy away at the violation of personal space.

She was all too glad when he finished, but was wishing she could read upside down as he wrote on the paper he picked up upon first entering.

And that the dots nearly covering her vision would hurry up and go away!

Then he was setting everything on a nearby table and turning the chair toward an eye chart on the far wall. The bulky equipment was pushed over her eyes and green squeezed shut at the current setting on the lenses.

Man...whoever had that last set was BLIND!

"Okay, I'm going to do a few tests. I'm going to give you a few numbers and tell you if it's the right or left side. You tell me which one looks clearer. Go ahead and take your time."

She kept getting lenses that made everything nearly GIVE her dizzy spells. By the time she got to a point where things were clear, she wondered just what was being accomplished.

"Okay... I'm going to keep this like it is and I want you to lean back enough for me to push it out of the way."

Her brow furrowed. "Why?"

"Because I'd like to show you something."

Doing as commanded, her nose cleared from getting bumped and the perfect image through the lenses was replaced...with yet another perfect image.

She blinked, eyes widening. "I...don't get it." She mumbled, turning for an explanation.

"The final ones you said helped you see the best were no prescription." To prove his point, the man shoved fingers through the eye slots and pushed through. There were no barriers to stop him.

She dumbly stared at the contraption, mind whirling to make sense of it all. She watched the man pull his fingers back through before staring at the eye chart. She could read every line to the bottom...well, not the VERY bottom...but her vision, according to the medical expert, was the same as it was in her childhood.

"How long has this blurriness or dizziness been going on?"

She snapped to attention and thought. "Well...I got it for the first time on the ninth around midday. I thought it was the reading glasses I've had for about five or six years. Then I thought it could be staring at homework for too long...or taking too many notes. Or the fact that I didn't blink enough. I don't know - I was reaching with that one."

"How serious has this been?"

"Enough to make the room spin."

"Would you classify it as vertigo?"

"Ah...well... It's only a few seconds long. It's there full force and leaves just as quickly, but enough to make me feel like I've been spinning in circles for five minutes."

"That's a good definition of vertigo."

She blinked. "Oh...well, yes...vertigo."

The doctor grabbed her papers and started for the door. "I suggest you see a medical doctor about this. Depending on your medical background and the severity of your case, it could be a small thing."

She absently nodded in agreement, though more in hope than anything else. After thanking him for his time, she left in dejection.

So it wasn't a simple vision problem as she was praying for. Now it required ANOTHER trip to a different doctor's office. The only problem was, she DIDN'T have medical insurance to cover it...if vertigo could be covered anyway.

She winced at it all and got on the bike. There were no problems getting on or getting home, which confused her. There had been a few more of the self-termed Etch-e-sketch – for the way the world looked in those brief seconds - spells since last week. She was trying her hardest to keep track of them, no matter what strength they came in, but when they struck all she was concerned with was getting them gone.

From this day on, she was going to keep a small pocket notebook with her to catalogue them. She would write down times, dates, and how strong each was when they arrived.

She WAS going to get to the bottom of this! This wasn't going to rule her life because too much ruled it as it was. She would try and find some way to get to a doctor when she saved enough money up for one. Who knew when that would be, but hopefully by then, she'd have enough information for them to do a study and help cure whatever the hell was going on with her.


	47. Ch 47

_"If you don't like this marriage...the door's right there!"_

_"I'm not the one screwing it up! How can you tell me to leave like that?!"_

_They were so angry. She wanted to shiver from it all, but wasn't entirely conscious. The urge to hit the bathroom rather than wet the bed was too much to ignore and she got up._

_Now she wished she stayed under the covers and faced the embarrassment if her little body wasn't developed enough to break the habit in the middle of the night._

_"I didn't do a damn thing to make you behave this way! Why are you doing this to me??"_

_A hand tightened over the stuffed animal in her hands. Green stared in transfixion, unable to turn away._

_"Maybe I'm tired of all this...did you think of that? Maybe I needed a change!"_

_"Don't give ME that bullshit! You're lying!"_

_"Don't call me a liar!"_

_They were at each other's throats and it hurt to see them that way. She knew they weren't comfortable around each other...but this was the first fight she ever witnessed._

_The emotions in their eyes, the distrust and rage cut. She felt anguish for losing what she thought was a home._

_Had she ever had a home?_

_As if just noticing, two pairs of surprised eyes froze her in the archway. She was young, but still waist-high for her age. How could they not see her, other than she was too caught in the conflict to move?_

_Her father looked a little chagrined and frustrated. Her mother was contrite...but there was love and concern as well._

_"Kalie – honey...what're you doing up so late?"_

_~*~*~_

_A basketball lazily rolled her way and bumped into a knee before she could react. Green moved as she stared at it and across the area, timidness rearing up._

_"Hey! Can you throw that over?"_

_She gave a small nod and put a thumb to mark the place in her book, using the free hand to give a halfhearted toss. She watched the ball bounce away for a few seconds before returning to the world of make-believe._

_It was hard to get back into the story in the little time left of recess now that she'd been taken away. Just as it was getting good too..._

_With a sigh, she grabbed the bookmark out of her lap and put the book in her backpack before shoving it behind and using it as a pillow over the chain-link fence._

_Regrettably putting herself back to the real world made tears want to come and never stop. She stared at the sky to force her mind away, but it did no good. No amount of sidetracking – aside from ever-present, ever trusty books – was going to get her mind off of her parent's divorce._

_And the fact that her father had a new girlfriend.___

_Green blazed and fists clenched. She quickly took a deep breath to hide it, not wanting anyone to ask what was going on. She didn't want them to know or ask questions. This was none of their concern, though she wanted to cry and shout to the world the unfairness of her life._

_The man was scum. She was never going to forget that, nor would she ever see him again. She didn't need or want to be around him now that he had another woman in his life. Someone as special – if not more so – than her or her mom._

_The bell helped pull her from some of the loathing and she stood as people started heading inside. One hand went to brush shorts and legs of gravel and dust as the other shouldered her bag._

_She couldn't wait to get out of here. Eighth grade was dragging and hashing over that recent dating blunder wasn't making time go any faster. She wanted high school to come so she could get a new school with new teachers and new people who didn't know her. If she was lucky enough, the idiot wouldn't be going to the same high school._

_Grim eyes remained on the concrete as she marched up the steps with other classmates._

_~*~*~_

_The second the locker opened, something fluttered to the ground. She startled and snatched it off the linoleum before anyone else could, mind burning with questions._

**_'K, don't get mad but I asked Sheryl to open your locker.'_**

_Her brow furrowed as she recognized Brad's handwriting. She didn't know why he was apologizing for something like that, unless he needed to borrow something and didn't tell her..._

_Green avidly looked and immediately spotted a palm-sized stuffed animal. She gasped and beamed, hands sticking in to claim her prize._

_It was adorable! She had few stuffed animals in her life and never thought much to building a collection, but she'd take this as an exception!_

_Deep brown fuzz tickled her skin as it was rubbed against her cheek. She turned it over for further inspection and felt tears come at the adorable picture nestled in her palm. A small, mesh bag of chocolates – miraculously untouched by the twins – met her._

_The cutest thing?__ Brad somehow managed to tie the paws to the bag._

_She gave a small giggle at his thoughtfulness for small details and pulled the delicate thread keeping the bag closed. She snuck a chocolate into her mouth and one for class before safely hiding the bear from Sheryl's eyes. Whether the girl knew of it or not was unknown, but she did not intend on sharing her candy!_

_There was a lighter step as she hurried the past minute to class in fear of being late. Brad was so thoughtful...and she even told him she didn't really celebrate birthdays!_

-----

_She pulled open the door as it rang for the second time, wondering what the big hurry was. So much for studying..._

_Pulling it open, minor irritation turned to surprise and joy as she met two sights on the other side of the door._

_A pair of pink and yellow roses with a few irises for color were__ shoved in front of a very familiar face._

_She gasped and took the outstretched offering, automatically smelling them upon doing so. "They're beautiful..." She mumbled over them. "You didn't have to you know..."_

_A charming smile made her insides quiver. "But I did. You downplay things that really need to be celebrated, you know that?"_

_She gave a small smile and let him inside to put them in water. "First the teddy bear and now these? You spoil me." She grinned and briefly met his gaze from the kitchen._

_"Maybe."__ He vaguely drawled, getting comfortable on the couch. She joined him after proudly displaying them in the center of the dining room table and hugged him. "Happy Birthday Kalie."_

_Her smile widened. "I love you Brad."_

_He gave a small, lopsided smile and kissed her in response._

_~*~*~_

**_'Wanted - roommate._****_ Gender non-preferable. One bedroom in a rented house – rent mildly negotiable. Call or stop by for an appointment or look.'_**

_Simple black and white with terms that seemed within the lines of reason.___

_Her lips pursed. Feet shuffled in quick indecision as she stared at the address and phone number. The orientation group was getting farther ahead and she had to decide now whether or not to take the only paper off the bulletin board and catch up or catch up and leave it._

_Heart pounding, she ripped it off the staples with the thought that she could always throw it away if she stopped at the location and didn't like what she saw._

-----

_"Name's Samantha Merth – come on in."_

_She quickly shook hands, feeling a little anxious at sudden decision making. This was not her style, but she needed a place to stay and the amount was as she said...within the lines of reason._

_"Let me give you a quick tour of the place... If there's any questions you have, don't hesitate to tell me to shut up so you can speak."_

_She grinned and took her shoes off before heading in._

_The dual living rooms caught her eye and interested her greatly. The woodwork was exquisite and seemed to be everywhere. The fireplace was amazing, considering it was even THERE. The two bathrooms were nice, even if they were only one point five. She found out there were three bedrooms, not two, but saw a few boxes and assumed that to be storage...which was funny considering there was a rather long storage closet which didn't seem to be that full._

_They stopped in the large entryway and the resident leaned against the banister. "So? What's your opinion? I moved here not too long ago myself to start college and to get out of the house. My parents help me with the rent a little and I've got financial aid, but I don't want to rely on just that to pay the bills. I'm flexible with rent, but I gotta tell ya, I don't want you skimping out just because I can be a nice person."_

_Green took in the general area again. The place was nice and so was the girl. This was a little too much for an impromptu conclusion, but something inside her was disarmed with the humor she was around the last few minutes._

_She wandered through both living rooms and kitchen in silence, mind churning at a fast pace. By the time she got to the doorway leading to the basement, she felt an urge to take the idea and run with it._

_If she didn't like it, there were always dorms..._

_She leaned against a pillar in the living room archway and smiled. "I'll take it."_

_~*~*~_

_There was that insignificant feeling again. This was the second time this week and she was tired of feeling this way. Why did she have to be like this? Why did he make her feel like this??_

_Arms tightened around legs as her forehead pressed over knees. She wanted to cry, but didn't allow herself. She was not so depressed to let him see he was getting to her like that._

_"Kalie - are you in here?"_

_A knock sounded soon after the voice and teeth gnashed her lip. She didn't say anything – too scared to – and watched it slide open. His face poked through and she looked away._

_"There you are. Something you wanted to talk to me about?"_

_Her lips pressed together as she wished the bed would swallow her up. She didn't want to say anything about what she was feeling. She didn't want to get into a discussion over this. Couldn't they pretend it never happened??_

_Green bore holes into the floor as her chin rested on knees. She hadn't moved and if possible, tightened her hold. She watched as he took a few steps in, tension hitting her._

_This was too embarrassing to explain. He didn't know much about her father, but she wanted to tell him. His presence at times made her want to spill her soul just to open up to him._

_"I don't know what you want me to say."_

_Tears burned. God, how could he make her feel so bad with one soft-spoken sentence?_

_Inhaling for strength, green closed. "I don't - I don't mean to be such a downer... You know I hung out with Sheryl and Hal recently when I went back home. I don't think I've ever told you about those two, but Hal has had a crush on me since high school. I can tell he still does."_

_She paused, throat constricting. How did she get words out of such horrific magnitude?? How did she find the courage to be so bluntly honest only to end up tearing his heart a new valve?_

_"And?"___

_He sought answers and wanted her to be honest. She would like things to change; she wanted a normal relationship that wasn't closed off. She wanted to be able to love him without wondering if he wanted her to touch him._

_She wouldn't get all that unless she said something._

_"Well...we didn't get to talk to catch up since I've been gone, and Hal asked me if I wanted to go out to get something to eat and discuss our lives." Her heart raced as she fought for strength. "I've known Hal since freshman year of high school...he's wanted to go out with me since then. When we met up...I know he wanted to kiss me...and I don't know...if he actually tries...if I'll...stop him."_

_There was the most deathlike quiet. They were both aware of him being a loner when it came to physical affection and she not only made him painfully aware of that, but that she'd reach to someone ELSE instead of him to get it._

_Her breath held when he shuffled. She hadn't been able to look him in the eye – too ashamed and embarrassed– but still watched out of the corner of her peripheral._

_"I'm not...angry." He slowly muttered. She cast a quick peek and found him looking to the ceiling with a pensive expression and suspiciously gleaming eyes. "I always told you if you could find someone to treat you better then you should take that."_

_But she didn't WANT anyone else! She wanted him and him only! Why couldn't he SEE that?! She wasn't even saying the physical thing with Hal would happen – she was speculating here!_

_His posture was openly avoiding her and she stared now that he refused to look at her. "I guess it's nice to know. I won't stop you on this because I can't really..."_

_Half of her was stunned at this admission of release and the other was annoyed. Why didn't he get jealous?! Was he going to give up like that without getting angry?? Why wasn't he insisting on being her man and she had no right to be with any other guy like that while they dated??_

_She wanted to shout those reasons, but dumbly sat in the same position. Their gazes met for a brief second before he opened the door enough to slip out._

_She was on her feet in a second, hand extended as if to grab him. Her face was a mix of agony and indecision. Should she go after him?? He was basically telling her to go after Hal, though she wasn't planning on it. She wanted to be honest with him of any possibilities that might occur._

_After all, Arthur himself told her she should do more thinking of different prospectives to find more outcomes to a situation._

_Time seemed to have stopped, but sped up too. Tears swam in her eyes, full of guilt, shame, and worry._

_Oh god...she just ripped his heart out!_

_Her body jumped into gear and she threw the door open. He was standing at the end of the hallway, back to her. In a few steps, she was already running, seeing him turn at hearing her approach. Tears fell as she tightly hugged him, trying to find words to show how sorry she was._

_"I'm sorry - I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." She rasped, head buried in his shoulder._

_She could hear him sniff and the notion of him crying – that SHE made him cry – brought more remorse and tears. His body shook the tiniest of degrees and her arms tightened, feeling his copy her._

_"Now you know..." He whispered back, face dug in her shoulder. "Now you know I hurt and that I'm human too."_

_He pulled away first, though she wasn't done holding him. Every instinct wanted to pull him back into her arms and comfort. But, he wasn't that kind of guy. He didn't accept a lot of hugs or kisses or holding hands._

_He was an emotional loner...but she didn't want to be with anyone but him._

_~*~*~_

_Deep green quickly took in the figure of a young man. Teeth bit the inside of her lip as she fought not to give a girlish smile._

_He was cute. HIGHLY cute!_

_Leaning on the counter, pleasantly smiling, fingers clasped together. "Hello. What can I get you?"_

_She met with incredibly dark eyes and blinked. Were those brown or black? She couldn't tell and didn't want to look closer for a better inspection._

_Those eyes averted to the order-board above as an arm rested on the counter inches away. Out of the corner of her eye, she took note of the toned condition it was in, along with the nice tan._

_Forcefully shaking her head, trying to keep from checking him out, she looked to his face again and took note of shaggy bangs sticking out of a backwards cap. She blinked._

_Those bangs were bleached WHITE!_

_She looked to his eyebrows and found them black. What kind of person dyed their hair such an opposite color??_

_She had to admit though, even though it was white, he still looked nice. DAMN nice! His features were set in all the right places._

_She blinked and took note of his eyes, seeing a slant to them. So...he was orient? Nothing wrong with that, she found that slant rather attractive._

_Suddenly, she was met with those indiscernible eyes and tried not to flush when she received a charming smile in return._

_"Didn't your parents teach you it's not polite to stare?"_

_"I - I'm sorry sir - "_

_The words died when he sent a sly grin her way. "I was just kidding. I don't mind..." She received a quick wink, off-setting her again before she dumbly registered his order._

_It took a second before she whirled around and mechanically did as told. After giving the total, she handed over the Styrofoam cup and fought a smile as his fingers came into contact with hers._

_After taking the change, she felt a little warmer than the normal hot night temperatures._

_"Thanks cutie." He pushed away from the counter and headed for the entrance. Just as he had the door open and was in the entrance way, the youth paused. "By the way, what's your name?"_

_She minutely startled as if pricked. He wanted to know her name? Why?? Well..._

_"People around here call me K." She gave a small nod._

_He returned it with the same friendly smile. "Inaki." With that, he gave a final wave and let the door shut behind him._

-----

_Those eyes.___

_Deep brown eyes clouded her vision, ones she knew well. They crinkled at the edges with the hint of good mood or laughter, though all she could see were eyes and brows. The rest of his face was absent, though some mysterious light highlighted these features._

_She loved those eyes – they were warm and kind. Even though she couldn't see the rest of him, she was content to stare at these all day._

_Then...they changed. The crinkles loosened and evaporated as if never there in the first place. She stared at the same color of eyes...though these were practically dissimilar in every aspect._

_Indifference.___

_Pride.___

_Intensity.___

_They seemed to stare through her and made her want to fidget. At the same time, she was drawn to keep looking._

_They were the same eyes, but weren't. The emotion was atypical and they gave the impression of a different person._

_How was it that the person she was in love with had these kinds of eyes??_

Green snapped open and absently stared at her door.

What was THAT?!

She sat up - feeling a little disoriented - and a thumb went to her teeth. She nibbled at the edge of skin, replaying the dream over.

Why was she dreaming THAT??

There was no viable reason for her subconscious to be bringing up instances from her entire life. And even if there were, it seemed unlike just remembering things that happened.

It felt like her whole life was on display – like someone was watching or something.

What was up with those eyes? They were Inaki's eyes – no doubt about that – but why were they so distorted?? Inaki always seemed to smile there, but these were off. Like a reflection of a life totally apart from his.

What morbid fascination did she have to put that into her head?

Why did she see him in a darker light?

This was getting too confusing. The fact that she remembered almost the entire dream from her nap was nothing major – she sometimes remembered and sometimes didn't. But those eyes were like someone else's.

Vertigo graced its presence and she gasped. It was a particularly strong one for having just woken up and hands covered her face. She fell back to the bed, but of course it was over as her head hit the pillows.

This was getting beyond annoying and she had no way to stop it. She didn't know of any medical treatments that could cure this, but knew it had to deal with her inner ear. At least...that's what she hypothesized anyway.

She managed to hide it from Sam and Inaki only because it didn't happen a lot when she was with some people. Why she didn't know, but she couldn't figure that out either. These spells were only a week old, but they grew in intensity quite rapidly.

She had to get to a doctor – there was no more getting around it. In the one week, she filled an entire page with dates and times...more times than dates. She was almost on page two and seeing the amount of spells and the description of severity was starting to scare her. She didn't know how it started or what started it, but was getting to the point of HAVING to go, not wanting to go.

She rolled to her side, rubbing her eyes again. It never did any good, but there always seemed to be a pain behind them – at least at times – in the skull area. It was like having a headache almost.

When her hand moved, she spied the clock on the nightstand and rolled to her back. She only slept an hour, and movie time was coming in a bit.

Might as well get up now before SAM came in and tried to get her up.

After carefully sitting up to keep from triggering another spell, she went to the door and headed into the bathroom. The faucet ran and hands cupped cold water to splash and wake up with.

She peered into the mirror when drying her face, wanting to get everything. She blinked a few times, leaning closer and fixating her gaze on herself, taking in everything. She stared as if taking in features never really seen before.

Everything was still the same...except the hair. It was at the end of her shoulder blades and now grossly long from how she normally kept it.

If she wasn't careful, by the time she got to it it'd be another foot longer!

She NEVER had hair that long when she was a kid and tried to picture herself with hair to the top of her waist. Having it this long was overheating enough – anything else would be furnace factor!

It always grew quickly and she never knew why. She had somewhat thick hair, but still thinner than Inaki's and Sam's. It was straight like Inaki's but he kept better care of his than she did. Lately, she threw it into a low ponytail with a few of Sam's ties before heading for class.

Those always seemed more comfy than high ponytails.

While eyeing her hair, another strong spell took hold and seemed to last. The world shook a few times and she gripped the sink. The cold, strong feel of it didn't do any good to bring her back to reality.

Her head pressed against the mirror, bangs covering her eyes. This was getting ridiculous, but at the same time, she almost wanted to cry. This was screwing up a very important time in her life right now! She did not need this unsteadiness when solidity was a key component - college did enough shaking her world up without her sight adding to it!

When everything seemed to pass, she pulled back, eyes still shut. A hand reached out and helped feel her way from the bathroom, just in case staring at herself did it again.

These damn spells had no real rhyme or reason. She tried to write - along with the intensity, times and dates – any possible cause. A few happened in college, even less at work, and almost none when she was with people.

They mostly happened when she was by herself or in no able way to be in contact with someone.

That was just a theory, and a reach at that.

She headed downstairs for something cool to try and wake up with. Sam made a quick trip for more ice cream – as the girl ate it all AGAIN – so she was alone. Not what she wanted for her vision, but right now was perfect.

A quick scout located the phonebook and she plopped it on the counter. She didn't know any doctors in Miami, but there was still the family one in Westchester. She hadn't gone there for a few years, but now was the time to make a quick call. She would find the money – or use what was necessary from her savings – to pay for the visit and any possible medication needed.

This was going to stop and soon.


	48. Ch 48

Westchester didn't have only one exit out of the city. In fact, it all but blended in with the west portion of Miami. That made it a little easier when trying to find other routes besides the highways to take when heading over.

She never took Sam's car because she didn't want her going with. Sam would be pissed that she hadn't said a single word and purposely tried to keep it under wraps.

Inaki would be possibly livid.

She didn't know how serious this was other than it kept happening. It was irregular, struck at the oddest times and places, and had her both worried and frustrated. This was a last resort.

She managed to sneak out with a vague explanation that she was going to go looking around for a while and didn't know when she'd be back. She felt a little bad for lying to Sam, but what to do? Tell her friend she was having really bad dizziness and have the girl freak?

Yea...that'd be REAL productive.

She would tell Sam when she had answers for the both of them. This day was devoted to that. She had the two full pages of times and episodes for the doctor and mentally prayed they would be some good.

She should know it would be a good idea to bring homework or something, even if she didn't want to be weighed down with the twenty-some miles distance.

Why was it these places always had long waiting lines? Did the doctors take five minutes out in between each patient??

She wasn't in a rush to get in and out because she planned on having an in-depth discussion to get to the root of this. She'd take all day and make everyone else wait if that's what it took.

Everyone else must have the same attitude. Maybe THAT'S why her butt was currently going numb.

Heaving a quiet sigh, she stared at the nearest window, watching cars pass in the drop-off area. She let her mind wander, knowing she'd hear her name whenever it was called.

It was a while since she'd been home...for any reason. It'd be nice to look around a bit – though nothing would change in only a few months. She wanted the nostalgia and connection to the past to keep her solid right now.

A hand propped her head up on the armrest. There was only one more dream over the 'examining' of her life. There was the same display feeling accompanying unease. Why she was uneasy that pieces of her life were being dug up from the recesses of her memory was unclear, but she was glad to not have any since.

It WAS abnormal that she kept smelling different things. They weren't much and the every day run-of-the-mill things. Like the grass she never figured out. Undistinguishable foods followed, even when she wasn't cooking them at the time.

The past few days added hearing too, even if she could barely tell she was hearing anything. It was like very faint whispers directly over her ears. The odd thing was she could hear them in everyday life -above the general din of a classroom or reading homework out loud.

She was worried, but every time they came, they were normally within time of an episode.

She knew everything was tied together. There was the possibility of having caught a disease and it was screwing with her inner ear or nose - as the nasal passage, throat, and ear were all connected – and never noticed it. The only thing keeping her from freaking out and labeling herself a nutcase was the fact that everything would hopefully be answered today.

She tried to be logical and did a lot of thinking. What else could she do but rationalize it all?? It was making her head hurt for an entirely different reason and she would be so glad to hear she had some kind of a disease, something she could point a finger at as the cause and a way of treating.

She had enough mental problems to sort out in her life; she didn't need another to the pile.

There was a sudden whiff of antiseptics that seemed to flow on the air and her nose scrunched up. She looked to the lobby to see if a nurse passed for a patient, but there was no one in the area.

Teeth bit her lip harsher than they should've. This was the first time smelling something like that, but for some reason, it seemed like something she encountered before. This didn't seem like other ordinary stuff in the medicine cabinet, but it couldn't be that. Why she didn't know, but she had a feeling.

She inhaled again to try and identify it, driven by base human curiosity, and gained a spell for her efforts.

It was strong, but they all were anymore. A small bit of nausea hit as hands covered her face. Taking away any stimulus seemed to help.

There was a small buzzing in her ears, as if the whole area suddenly went deathly quiet. That wasn't possible and her body pricked to utter wariness as attention was drawn to her hearing. Just as vertigo left...now this.

Amidst the buzz, she could scarcely hear something. It reminded her of the wind rushing by whenever she rode her bike. It was so faint she had to strain for it, but the more she concentrated, the easier it was to hear. It was still quiet, as if refusing to make itself totally known, but not bothering to leave either.

Her brow scrunched up. She was sitting inside an enclosed building with the only outside doors currently closed. There was no way to be getting this kind of wind from them anyway...this only happened at high speeds.

She was tired of asking and wondering what was going on because she had no answers. She felt so helpless when these mysteries struck and it was like her life created parts of the twilight zone.

She wanted to cry at the unfairness of the curveball she was having. It was perfectly okay, as her face was still covered from earlier.

She was so tempted.

A very real pressure on a shoulder jerked her to reality and she looked up. Any feeling of vertigo was nonexistent, and the wind and quiet dissipated.

She was still sitting in the same chair, same position...with a nurse standing above.

"Are you okay? You look a little pale. You're not anemic are you?"

She looked away and stood, using her hair as a curtain to take a deep breath and focus. It was time to get on with it.

She pasted on a small smile when their eyes met again. "I'm okay. I'm up I take it?"

The nurse looked at a clipboard. "If you're Kalie Himmen you are. I called your name a few times but you didn't come up. I wouldn't have known who you were if I didn't see you write your name down and notice you were still sitting here." There was another mildly searching gaze from the expert before a friendly look popped up. "If you'll follow me."

She nodded and slipped through a door. Her shoes slipped off upon command to check her height and weight. She was still the same height and around the same weight as always.

It was nice to know she hadn't gained any weight since the time she was weighed a few years ago. At the same time, it was nice to know she hadn't lost any. Being underweight might be one reason for the spells. Malnourishment and causing reactions.

Blood pressure was normal as well, which was nice. It didn't help any either, because she figured that could be a reason for everything happening. High pressure could be causing any number of things and the only thing left would be to narrow them down.

She was led to a small room when all was done and left to sit. 'The doctor will be right in my ass.' She mentally grumbled, crinkling the paper covering a medic bed.

Oddly enough, for as long as she sat in the lobby, the nurse was true to her word.

She explained the optometrist visit and that recommendation for a medical exam. She handed over the sheets to the man and waited in tense silence as he looked them over. She tried not to fidget and crinkle the paper, so settled for nibbling a thumb.

Finally, their eyes met...but his were unreadable. "Are you still having such strong bouts?"

She nodded. "I had one out in the lobby, but I didn't have something to write with to add that down."

The doctor went back to looking, but it was clear his attention wasn't on them. "You did a good job in keeping such detailed records. This'll give us a little easier time and save yousome questions I would've asked." There was another pause before he set the sheets on a wall table and reached for the stethoscope.

She breathed in when ordered, a little down to hear there was nothing wrong with her lungs. Another mental checkmark on her list of body parts that could be causing this.

She looked up as hands felt the glands under her ears. Nothing hurt and she made mention upon request. He felt her neck area, finding nothing again.

She hoped he didn't intend on padding her down EVERYWHERE, as that would be highly discomfiting – medical doctor or no. She didn't care if he probably saw it all before, she wasn't stripping for a male doctor.

After checking the back of her throat, a small probe into the edge of her ear, and checking a few reflexes, she was out of options...save one. She dreaded hearing that, but had no choice.

"I suggest we get a blood test run."

She shivered a little and unconsciously crossed her arms, hiding the inside of her elbow. She rather hated needles...

"I've got these as well, but it could be a blood-born pathogen in your system. We won't know unless we look."

Green shifted nervously. "Other than the blood tests...what do you think is wrong with me? Does such heavy spells mean something?"

The doctor sat on the stool again. Hands rested over one crossed leg as if giving considerably grave news. "Vertigo can be a symptom of plenty of things. The problem is finding out exactly what is causing it. It can stem from Meniere's Disease, BPPV - Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo, Labyrinthitis, Neuronitis, Endolymphatic hydrops, a different virus, or in the rare case – Acoustic Neuroma."

By the time he finished, her eyes were as wide as saucers and back ramrod straight. She didn't know any of those names, but all seemed quite serious.

So he WAS giving some grave news.

"But," He countered, "there're some that can be voided out simply from your general examination. Because you're so young and said you haven't had any head injuries you know of, you might be able to bypass BPPV...which is brought on by head injuries and sometimes old age. Some I named off deal with fluid in the inner ear or infections and pressure on that area...and stem from head injuries. I doubt you have Acoustic Neuroma; it's a rare case of cancer which a benign tumor grows around the bone of the ear and spots of the brain that deal with hearing and balance."

Her hands were mildly shaking in white-knuckled fists and it was hard to keep in mind he was talking about diseases she DIDN'T have!

They all sounded scary, even from a two-cent version! She knew she needed answers, but never considered prepping herself for what to do when she GOT one...

After hearing his explanations, a blood test sounded like a walk in the park. She never liked the thought of needles, partially because she had an overactive imagination with them pricking skin from needing shots as a child. It effectively added her to the phobia list.

As much as she hated getting that done, she needed to stop suffering like this. The urge to refuse the test simply because she liked to keep her veins closed was not an option. So far this man was stumped...maybe more props and heads would help?

She conceded and was left alone with the promise of a nurse coming in soon for the sample...left to stew in deep nerves and adrenaline until then.

She wanted to pace – every muscle was tight with expectation of hopping off the bed and striding over the small room. But she forced her mind to work instead and save energy. She was going to need it for the ride home later.

Her mind replayed the exam and tried to pick anything she missed the first time. She was almost insulted at the notion of having an infection in her ear, even something a Q-tip couldn't get to. She kept very good care of her body and tried not to get sick.

One thing that stood out was during his ministrations, he didn't set off any kind of triggers. There didn't seem to be anything in her throat or ear area spells, so head position was not an issue.

She was getting desperate. If she didn't get an answer here, where ELSE could she go?? A head specialist? She didn't have that kind of money in savings and as it was she had a feeling this visit was going to be at least seventy bucks or more. With the tests, she was betting over a hundred.

Her jaw clenched in frustration. THIS was why she didn't go to doctors half the time! Not getting an answer and having to go through the means of getting one was costly and she wasn't exactly Ritchie Rich.

The door swung open and her head shot to it, eyes lighting on the tray in the woman's hands. She followed it like a snake ready to strike as it was set on the table.

"Afternoon miss. I'm here to get a little blood from you."

She dumbly nodded and tried not to freak out as the woman had her change sitting positions to rest an arm on part of the table. She purposely took slow, deep breaths to keep from hyperventilating and wishing her mother was around to bury her head and hide against.

It was never as bad when the action took place. Anticipation and imagination of the needle and skin was the biggest issue. But who WOULDN'T get squeamish and cover the tender skin of their arms at picturing what syringes did when they were brought in??

A little blood turned out to be a third of the tube and she hoped not to pass out on the way back. She was glad the rubber was removed and everything done.

God she was a baby with this!

"That wasn't so hard now was it?" The nurse asked, applying alcohol and a Band-Aid.

'Speak for yourself!' She retorted, trying not to glare.

"We'll get these into the lab and you'll get your results within a few weeks."

WEEKS!?

She forcefully kept her jaw from dropping.

Another thought hit – there were only two ways she'd know. She'd need to make another trip out...or they were going to call home.

The probability that Sam would pick up the phone when she wasn't around was too high and then she'd have some massive explaining AND sucking up to do.

The mail was out of the question.

"Is there any way I can just find a date and come back? I'm not that easy to get a hold of..."

"The easiest way is to call you when they're in, or we can write you. I'm afraid stopping in and asking would be a waste of your time. You could give it a few weeks and call us, but you might get the same results if the tests aren't back yet."

She was so stuck. It sucked big time, but there was nothing to do. "Mail works then." She muttered.

She followed the nurse until she could find her way to reception. She was dismayed to find the bill nearly a hundred and fifty after all tests and taxes.

This had better be a one-time deal.

She was NOT in a good mood by the time she returned home. She was irritated at being in the dark after so much hoping and delay, and annoyed at the cost.

She should've known it wouldn't be a simple 'say ah' procedure. Tests HAD to be done and she begrudgingly accepted that as she clicked the lock on the chain and headed in the back door.

She looked up at noise in the living room and stopped in the archway. "I'm back." She muttered, subtly crossing her arms to hide the Band-aid.

Light blue met green. "Oh hey...Inaki called while you were out. He wondered if you wanted to hang out today but I said you had plans of some kind. Then we had movie time so he no chance in hell unless he wanted to watch chick flicks."

She couldn't help but grin. Inaki wasn't a chick flick kind of guy unless he was alone with her and allowed to be sappy.

"Well I'll give him a call later or something." She answered. "I'm going up to my room for a bit. I'll be down for starting time."

"You'd better!"

She felt strange, almost lightheaded by the time she made it to the sleeping floor and leaned against the wall across her room. This wasn't from lack of blood...this almost seemed like she had hyperventilated. But she was very careful not to at the clinic.

Her head thunked against plaster lightly, eyes closing. The sounds from downstairs followed her up...slowly fading into nothing.

There was no buzzing in her ears, but she was definitely hearing her breathing as if recorded and playing back. It slowed as she calmed her heart.

This was like some kind of horror movie scene! Breathing like this was normally this loud during the chase scene or mass suspense.

It effectively got her attention when an even quieter, second pattern could be heard over hers.

Green shot wide and stared at white stucco as the second one inched in volume to be distinguishable. This second was a lot steadier than hers. There was the same pitch in breathing tone...even if it wasn't hers.

Unsteadily, she sunk to the ground, huddling to herself as tightly as possible. She wanted to scream in fear that she was going crazy, but her throat locked up. Panic evaded her veins and she escaped running away by wrapping arms around legs in a death-grip.

During the time she started trembling, the second breathing grew until it was as loud as hers. It almost seemed like she was inhaling extremely fast, but hers was fast while the other was still calm.

This wasn't making sense!!

Why was she hearing this?! What did it mean?! Was there some meaning to it all?? The smells, the noises, the spells – they all seemed to have one because she hadn't heard or smelt anything like now until the spells started.

Another hit, though this seemed weaker. Perhaps it was because the noise was still the same throughout. She didn't know whether or not that was a good thing.

The beginning of hyperventilation was edging to her and she made an effort to stop it by getting to her feet and focusing on something else. This was like a nightmare she couldn't wake from. She stumbled into her room, trying not to slam the door and fell to her knees. She crouched into herself and continuing to tremble.

The distraction seemed to help as the noise was a quieter than before. It was still there though.

She abruptly sat up, eager for anything to change the noise before her mind slipped, and green instantly landed on her cd collection. She quickly stood and hovered over, trying to find something that not only sounded appealing, but would be loud enough to drown her thoughts.

She spied one of the cds Inaki bought so long ago and a hand slowly inched it. She swallowed and stared transfixed at the near ghostly image of a pale girl with black hair. There was an almost gothic appearance, with a pull from those eyes.

Before she knew what she was doing, she had it in the nearby portable player and already slipping cordless ear buds on.

She hadn't listened to this yet, as the cover didn't look appealing, but seeing the face created to a need she never had with this kind of music.

She put it on shuffle, not caring which track was first, and bonelessly slid to the floor to listen, feeling her energy deplete.

** Watching me wanting me**

** I can feel you pull me down**

** I won't let you pull me down**

She quickly pressed the 'next' button, a small shiver running up her spine. The lyrics were a little creepy...mostly because they fit.

** I believe in you**

** I'll give up everything just to find you**

** I have to be with you to live to breathe**

** You're taking over me**

There was lightheadedness that foretold the coming of a spell. It happened and her forehead pressed against the carpet with a grimace. There was a twinge of pain behind her eyes and trying to squeeze them against it made it worse.

She wanted to whimper from it, but the strength to make noises seemed to leave. Ragged breathing was all she could do.

Brief silence told her the spell lasted for the entire last chorus and changed. It was no longer in her grasp and changed on its own.

**If I smile and don't believe**

**Soon I know I'll wake from this dream**

**Don't try to fix me I'm not broken**

**~*~**

**Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping**

**Hello I'm still here**

**All that's left of yesterday**

She flopped to the side and absently stared at the ceiling, feeling listless. The slow piano plucking seemed to sap any energy, but also hope. This only seemed to remind her that she WAS awake. Pain wasn't possible in a dream, everyone knew that.

**Catch me as I fall**

**Say you're here and it's all over now**

**Speaking to the atmosphere**

**No one's here and I fall into myself**

**This truth drives me into madness**

**I know I can stop the pain**

**If I will it all away**

Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes and shifted to her cheeks as she rolled over and groped for the player. Ear buds still in place, she unsteadily got to her feet again and made for the door.

She banged a shoulder on the bathroom doorway, barely feeling it. The lightheadedness returned, but wasn't a prelude. She felt her feet weren't contacting the tiles, even if she could feel cold temperatures from a nearby, open window.

The player clacked into the basin as she clutched edges of the sink as if being pulled away. She didn't hear it over words that seemed to speak to her of things she didn't know, but could sense were issues currently plaguing her.

Her body trembled and more weight went to her arms to help keep her upright. Though she hadn't run anywhere or held her breath, she gasped for it as if her lungs weren't getting enough. There was enough adrenaline in her system to disengage the sink from the cupboard holding it up.

When she finally looked up, a pale face and wide, hollow eyes greeted her. They looked dead, and needless to say...freaked her out.

**Whispered voices at my ear**

**She beckons me shall I give in?**

**Upon my end shall I begin?**

**Forsaking all I've fallen for**

**I rise to meet the end**

She stared into those eyes, trying to recognize herself. Her vision wavered a little and she blinked to clear it, wooziness still there.

Unconsciously, she moved closer until she was trying to focus from being so close.

Something occurred to her and anger boiled under the surface. The emotion hit so unexpectedly; she barely registered it until it hit full force. She credited it to her current helplessness since the beginning and the challenge in the lyrics.

Fists tightened around porcelain until she was in danger of tearing off a nail from pressure.

She kept staring, trying to see herself, but couldn't. She couldn't see the person she was in this face, though it was hers. She didn't know this reflection!

She pushed off the sink and snatched the player from its resting place. As the song wound down, she felt the hidden emotion in the melody and beat and it spurred her on.

She clutched the player in a death grip to the point of breaking it before pulling the arm back and throwing it with all her might – shouting as she did so – against the shower tiles.


	49. Ch 49

**I'm going under**

**Drowning in you**

**I'm falling forever**

**I've got to break through**

**I'm going under**

**Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies**

**So I don't know what's real and what's not**

**Always confusing the thoughts in my head**

**So I can't trust myself anymore**

**I'm dying again**

**I'm going under**

**Drowning in you**

**I'm falling forever**

**I've got to break through**

**So go on and scream**

**Scream at me I'm so far away**

**I won't be broken again**

**I've got to breathe, I can't keep going under**

A hand suddenly waved in her vision and she blinked, craning her sight back enough to see behind.

The hand clutching her portable quickly clicked pause, as if getting caught with something bad.

That little episode nearly cost the player, though she still didn't know what possessed her to try and break it in the first place. The music wasn't the reason because she was still listening to it.

Miraculously, the cd wasn't damaged as it twisted enough to land flat against the wall. The main piece was still together, but the solar battery cover was gone and she had to get a new one for the one that fell out and cracked.

"Kalie? K...honey...why are you laying on the floor like this? You have your bed you know..."

She blinked, but stayed put. Even green watched as Sam slowly crossed the room and sat on her bed next to the calves that already rested there.

She had never seen Sam so visibly agitated before...except for that day she nearly killed herself. Worry was written everywhere, but not one clear way to express it.

Sam mildly freaked out and scolded her the day she nearly broke the player, but one look at her face quickly shut her up.

"Kalie...I'm worried about you, you know. I don't know what's gotten into you! You're not yourself – you have to tell me what's wrong!"

She kept staring, mouth not moving. Green went back to watching the ceiling.

It hadn't been a week since her doctor's visit. She had so long to wait and it was starting to build. The whole week was tense at home since her stunt and she knew Sam was waiting for another explosion. She hadn't given one since and it was like the intense anger there fizzled out and that was her only shot.

It was all getting to her, that's the only thing she could say. It was the only explanation she had that kept her from getting angry. Strangely enough, that seemed to fit, even if it never stopped the attacks...or the different smells...or the noises...

The breathing never returned, but at night when she was trying to sleep, she swore could hear the very faint sound of a heartbeat other than her own in her ears. It was another one of those creepy movie scenes where the heart rate accentuated to increase the suspense.

Her life was one big horror movie lately, but nothing really awful happened. No calls with someone dying, and no one tried to kidnap, rape, or hurt her. If something bad was going to happen, it was way past normal time limit.

A light, tentative touch on a calf gained her attention and green shot to her friend. She sent a quiet, inquiring glance, but still didn't say a word.

"K...I don't know if you'll talk to me or not... You have a problem with opening up to me about things. I accept that there're some things you won't tell me...so I called Inaki and asked him to come get you out of here for a while. You seem to be able to tell him anything, so I figure he might be able to help whatever is going on with you."

She merely stared after Sam finished. Was she supposed to be angry at that? Was she supposed to be embarrassed or guilty because she told Inaki things she wouldn't speak with a cattle prod nudging her to cooperation otherwise?

She hadn't seen Inaki all week and hadn't got to see him last weekend due to the appointment and the first few weeks of class were always the hardest.

"When does he get here?"

Sam fidgeted a little, unnerved by the lack of emotion in K's voice and eyes. "I called him a while ago. You've probably been listening to music the whole time so you wouldn't have heard. He should be here soon."

It wasn't like Sam to ramble on so – she must be creeping the girl out more than she thought.

Her head lightly thumped on carpet as she went back to the ceiling. "Okay. Have him come up when he gets here."

Sam's mouth opened to protest, to try and use this as an opportunity to talk some sense into her friend, but quiet music from the floor told her she was shut out.

Sam gave a small, tight nod and left, knowing she wouldn't get anything else in to say. She shut the door and leaned against it. Anger and frustration built as she sagged against the support. The energy seemed to be sapped by walking on eggshells with her friend.

The whole week saw a rapid degeneration and there seemed to be no cause for it. Sam could tell because she knew K – or liked to think she did...

It was noticeable in times like this when K skirted her studies to listen to whatever cd in the player now. She saw in the extreme paleness spotted in the morning when K stumbled in for breakfast...as though suffering from a batch of nightmares.

There was nothing to be done if K didn't say a word. She never did it seemed and there was always this helplessness that wouldn't go away. Sam hated that feeling, but there was no getting around it. She had to get over it, and it was a skill she was getting rather good at.

Sam's jaw clenched at everything K was putting her through and a fist slammed against the door. She doubted K heard that through noise. Heaving a sigh, she strode for downstairs to find something to take her mind off all this.

**I tried to kill the pain but only brought more**

**I lay dying and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal**

**I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming**

**Am I too lost to be saved?**

**Am I too lost?**

**My God; my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

**My God; my tourniquet**

**Return to me salvation**

She shivered as the lyrics reminded her of her suicide attempt, but green never wavered its emotionless stare on stucco. She was content to shut out the real world and listen to these songs that kept playing.

Every song struck a chord over something in her life, whether it was years ago or yesterday. She could pick apart lyrics and find something if she got the mini-booklet containing the words and read them. She already did earlier and now could hear all clearly.

She was NOT in good shape and knew that...but when listening to this couldn't bring herself to care. She wasn't herself and knew that too.

She maintained a shell of her life – going to school and getting notes, working, studying with actual retention – but not much thought was put into it during quiet times. School and work were hard to act like this, as it seemed difficult to grasp emotions to get caught up in. It was like a mask she put on...like a persona she slipped into...but it wasn't easy without the right stimulus.

Like this music.

The occurrences were getting to her, coming almost normally now, and she was diving into the realm of madness to let them come. The only consolation was...by NOT being herself and obsessing over hearing or smelling them when they came, the spells stopped coming.

That was something she was glad for, but also wondered about.

The door suddenly swung open and nearly hit her in the head. Her vision whipped off the ceiling in surprise and blinked at something she forgot about.

Inaki's arrival.

Near dead green locked with stunned brown. He stared for what seemed eternity, the quiet enough to let him recognize the music she was listening to.

That was one of the more morbid cds he owned. To find her sitting like this, with that look in her eyes, while listening to that scared the shit out of him.

He stepped aside and shut the door, trying not to slam it in haste. She was a sight for sore eyes and he missed her greatly, but right now she was worrying him to no end.

"What the hell are you doing?!" He asked, hands going for the portable. He took it without waiting for anything and quickly shut it off.

It was like severing a limb. She blinked a few times at the buzzing in her ears from the effect of noise level before gradually sitting up. She stared at the bed, back to Inaki, before a hand slowly unhooked the buds.

He watched her idly set them on the bed and wondered if she was angry for shutting the music off like that. He didn't knock, but one peep to the level told him she wouldn't have heard.

He swallowed, mind furiously trying to figure out what the hell was going on here! The person sitting before him he recognized by physical features...the personality in those emerald eyes was all but gone.

What the hell happened in the time he was away?!

He inched forward and put a hand on a shoulder, startling a little when she turned. She stared with no hint of shyness or that she would look away at any second. She was meeting his eyes with no problem.

'How the hell did she do that so soon??' In all the time he spent with her, NOW she was doing this?! 'What the fuck??'

Now he understood Sam's frustration when she called. He couldn't imagine what the girl had to live through for the past month.

"K, what's going on?"

She blinked and leaned against the edge of the daybed. She regarded him as coolly as if dealing with someone she barely knew. He didn't know if she knew she had that look, but was getting REALLY uneasy seeing it.

Was she coming unglued from school?? Was this some kind of breakdown? He didn't have answers, but knew he had to do something to jog her from this.

He had no thoughts of how to go about this, but his body moved closer and seemed to know. He pulled her into his arms, a little shocked that she was initially stiff. She hadn't been such since before they started dating!

It was like a rush of ice water dumped on her senses. His move was as bold as it was unexpected, but she always felt comfortable and safe in his warmth. She belonged there and it was a main catalyst for the change in mindset.

Her body almost slunk against him as her face buried in his chest, breathing in cologne. She missed that smell - missed him. How had she not known that??

She was in love with this man, yet suddenly acknowledged she called him only a few times in a month and sent no letters. The letters weren't that big a deal, as they were initially for pen pal reasons and a means of communication. It seemed pointless now that they used face-to-face or telephone.

Her brow furrowed as her head turned to stare at the far wall. What was she doing obsessing over those things recently? It took hold and she let it – whatever happened to that strength she thought she had?

He could tell when she was better by the way she held him back. He couldn't begin to describe the relief that came and gave a small sigh into her hair. The ever-present smell of vanilla rose and he used its familiarity to gain control.

A hand stroked her back and a smile tipped her lips. She missed his touch and a small emotion hit below the belt. Her skin tingled from the sensation, having missed it and what it brought when she was with him.

It brought chaos, but she had never felt such deep, physical need than when she was with him that way.

"Feeling better now?"

She didn't want to move to answer, but didn't want to make him think she passed out. She shifted far enough away to see him and smiled. "Hello you..." She gave a deep, gentle kiss. Another tingle ran over her body and she indulged a little, unable to help herself around him.

He clutched her, more relieved that she seemed to be back to normal. The feel of her in his arms brought back memories he relived on many a night in a solitary bed. His tongue ran over hers, the top of her mouth, and around teeth to map her mouth again.

He missed her so much it was rather scary...

When they pulled away, she wanted to bury her face, but he made to stand and helped her up. "Come on, I've been ordered to take you out of here and I'm doing so. Plus there's something I wanted to show you."

She was intrigued and his wink made her wonder exactly what he wanted to show her. She had to admit, her mind went gutter as he led the way out, keeping their hands clasped.

"We're heading out Sam – don't wait up!"

"Hey! She's got work tomorrow you know! Don't make her too tired!"

She stumbled over the bottom step and clutched Inaki to keep from hurting herself. Her face flamed a little, though she thought she was beyond that by now.

"You shut up Sam!" She shouted back, glaring in the direction of the kitchen.

There was no answer, but a quiet padding met her ears as she went for shoes. By the time they were on and she grabbed keys, she found Sam leaning against the wall next to the stairs with arms crossed and an unreadable expression.

Green and blue stared for a second as she tried to read her friend. A brow finally rose as she grew a little irritated. "What? You're not imagining us naked are you?"

At length, a slow smile appeared on Sam's face, relief in her eyes. "No... Nothing like that." She quietly answered. Slowly, Sam pushed off the wall and turned for the kitchen. Tears blurred in her eyes of thankfulness and more dissatisfaction. K seemed back to herself...but this was another confusion that would never get explained.

She blinked and made for the door. "What was that all about?"

Brown spied a glance, wondering if she knew she was contradicting herself. "You tell me." He replied, almost wanting to stay out of it. He held the screen door open as she locked the inside.

She stared at the wood as if trying to think of an answer before shaking her head and turning for his car. "So...are you going to tell me what you're going to show me, or do I have to wait?" She stopped, nearly making him run into her, and turned to put hands on his chest. She leaned against him, getting arms around her waist. "Because depending on what you want to show me and how long you intend on showing me, I don't think I can wait."

His grin was positively evil as he caught her innuendo and leaned to devour her lips. When he pulled away, leaving her breathless, arms squeezed. "A little sexually repressed are we?"

She gave a small pout. "You saw what happened after two years buddy...a month is going to be about the same after I got a taste of it again."

A raven brow rose as he fought arousal at that one. "Do tell... Does this mean I'm going to turn you into a little nympho now? Because I honestly don't have a problem with that so long as I'm with you at the time."

Green widened as a hand slapped a shoulder. "Perv! I don't do self-preservation! That's a guy thing."

He smirked. "Oh please. You think women don't do that as much as guys? It makes me wonder just how you were able to last two years."

She gave a dry look. "Dork. Think – at that time...was I in ANY kind of mood for physical gratification?"

He pulled from the finger tapping his forehead and shook her off. "Mayhap not, but how do I know you haven't done so in the past month?"

She stared for a second before a brow went up. She immediately stepped back. "Why ARE we having this conversation in the middle of the front lawn again??"

He looked around with a grin. "You started it, not me."

Green looked to the sky. "Then I'll end it thank you." She turned to the car, but didn't get far as arms pulled her back to a breathing wall. The air went out of her, but the familiar feel of him pressing against her got her low and heavy. Fingers spread over her stomach – rising a little too high to be descent – but her head dropped to his shoulder in bliss. "You're not going to grope me in public...are you?" She panted.

Lips met an ear. "I might...I haven't done anything that kinky yet. Why?"

Her lids fluttered at his ministrations. "Because, I don't know if I'll be able to...contain myself."

"Hm. We could just head off into the woods and never be seen again..."

"Don't tempt me." Hands snapped into motion and one snaked in between their bodies to run down the front of his fly, catching him right where it counted.

He wasn't prepared for that and teeth bit her lower lobe at the jerk his body gave. He licked the spot, trying to take the ache out, but ended up doing worse damage...if the faster motion of her hand was any indication.

"We have to stop." He rasped, pulling away.

"Mm...stopping is good." She mumbled, pressing against him. "But I missed you."

He tried to swallow, unable to do so. "And you have no clue how close I am to saying fuck my original goal and using that word for a different meaning...but I DID have something to show you."

She was almost disappointed. Her body was throbbing in anticipation, but there was mental cold water dumped when he stepped away.

She giggled a little as hands stuck in front pockets to disassociate the other bulge to his jeans and was glad to be a woman at that moment.

He could hear her quite well and was almost prepared to torment her to the point of pain that he was in. He only stopped because he knew the family wouldn't be gone ALL afternoon and wanted to show her while they were gone.

He didn't know what they'd think about K seeing that. Sure he knew they liked her and probably considered her family, but this was massive. No one outside the family knew about this – not even the guys who he knew for over a decade – and they might take offense if he did it without their permission.

Something inside said it was okay to show it to her. He found the one and in doing so, knew she would understand enough to not consider him a freak when he told the story that went along with the object in hiding.

So where is everyone?" She asked, setting her shoes neatly next to his. Her toes wiggled against the carpet to warm against the coolness of the genkan tiles.

"They went to a movie. It wasn't until after dinner, so they left about half an hour ago." He explained, striding past. He stopped in the kitchen and heard her follow. He stood in the center and faced her, face solemn.

"Inaki...what –"

"Kalie...you know I trust you right?"

Green blinked at the use of her name. "Of course I do. I – I trust you too." She looked to the tatami. "I've...trusted you for a while actually. I'm sorry I never told you."

He was glad to know that as it was a key component for making up his mind. He brought her here, but there were still a few doubts. As long as she trusted him, he could trust her to keep this quiet.

This was one aspect she would want to know if she wanted to know everything about him. He had to admit, the need to tell her was getting overpowering lately and he did some serious thinking about it. Now he knew and it was a weight off his shoulders.

He smiled. "That's okay, I can accept that. It is nice to know though...because I think you're going to need that for what I'm about to tell you."

She startled a little. "What is it?? Is something wrong??"

He was by her side in an instant. "No! I'm sorry, that came out wrong." He directed her to sit on the table and moved back to red. "I wanted to share things with you that I never told to my other girlfriends, but that was kind of hard. You know I'll talk about myself without compunctions, but there IS something not even my friends know." He turned and green met brown. "This's something you have to swear never to tell to anyone, to never take out of this house. The family knows about this, but that's it."

She sat up straight, heart racing. "I swear on my life I won't tell anyone." Worry pricked her veins. "You...didn't kill anyone right?"

He grinned and shook his head. "Wouldn't think of it – you know I'm not a fan of violence." He kneeled and met her eyes again. "This isn't that serious, but it IS odd enough that I could be labeled a medical miracle...or a freak by the general populous."

A brown brow rose. Inaki, a freak?? Something as delicious looking as him? Not possible. Whatever he was talking about had to be overreaction talking.

Brown moved to the tiles, mentally counting from the wall. He shifted back as his count took him to the near center and started tapping on porcelain with his knuckles.

She blinked, head tilting in confusion. "Uh... What are you doing?"

"Shh...it's here somewhere."

Her head jerked back a little as she watched. There was the same pitch to all except one when he finally hit it and her eyes narrowed in wonder. How was it she walked over that spot and never noticed it was hollow? And hollow for WHAT??

"Gotcha." He muttered, prying the tile off. He gently set it aside to keep from scraping anything and grabbed a few strings and tugged. The box was a tight fit, but it wasn't supposed to be loose or the noise would attract attention.

Green avidly took in a plain, small wood box. It wasn't anything special, so what was he going on about?

Her brow deeply furrowed as it was shown in better lighting. She could see his eyes, but ignored them in favor of what was in his hand. For some reason, whatever was in there was badly enticing her to yank the lid off and see what it was.

Her skin was tingling and she didn't understand. It was like the feeling she got when her foot went asleep.

And the lightheadedness was returning with a vengeance.

"Before I show you this, I have to tell you about it or you won't understand what makes this such a big deal." He shifted to get comfortable and waited until he had her attention. That seemed rather difficult as it appeared fixated on the box.

Which was odd, as this was the first time she ever laid eyes on it.

"I was born a normal baby in weight and height. I had no physical problems and was brought home the normal time. My parents fed me well and kept me free of diseases and infections. But during my first checkup, the doctors found something odd that they've never seen before." He looked to the patio nervously, shifting a little, before finding courage to continue. "They did x-rays, which I still have, and found this. They're amazed it didn't kill me, or that it was there at all. My family considered it a sign that I was special, though for what reason or purpose I have no clue. I had surgery as soon as I was able to – seeing as it wasn't life threatening and in no need to remove immediately – and they gave it to us to keep. When I was old enough, my parents told me about it and showed me this."

The tingling sensation grew worse to the point of not being able to feel the tips of her fingers or toes as the box edged open. She blinked as the edges of her sight grayed, but didn't go away. The wooziness didn't gain a spell, but there was definitely something triggering all this.

She learned none of this was brought on by itself; everything had a reason...and right now it was coming from that box.

He pushed the simple lid up and tipped the box. With his palm carefully positioned to catch, he cradled it and set the box nearby.

Green stared in confusion and question at a small ball. It looked like one used in the game of marbles, but something told her this was too valuable for such a trivial thing.

It wasn't chipped or scratched in any way. She didn't know what a marble, a fleshy pink marble, was doing inside him like that. It was total sci-fi and she could only stare.

"They removed this from my right lung. They said it nestled against the side, right next to my heart. Baffled the experts for years."

She was barely conscious of a hand reaching out to try and touch it. She felt a near physical desire to hold it, to feel its mass. Before she knew it, she was on her feet and almost in touching distance.

"K? What..."

She couldn't take her eyes off the marble. "That's...so beautiful...it's amazing..."

She suddenly paused all movement, feeling the fine hairs on the back of her neck stand. It was like she was being watched and a cold finger went up her spine.

She blinked a few times, still trying to clear her vision, and stared at the marble with almost a hint of recollection. She - she knew this thing... Where had she seen it before? In a department store or something? Maybe someone handcrafted something out of glass like this?

No... She knew this already...knew it instinctively as she knew a part of her body.

How?

The hairs lowered as if a threat were removed and there was an instantaneous bright flash that blinded her. She cried out and stumbled back, hands going to her face.

Vertigo arrived and brought on nausea so bad she almost lost everything then and there. It made the room sway and even with legs spread for balance, she dropped heavily to her knees. Hands helped support her on the tatami.

"KALIE!?" He dropped the ball in shock when hands went to steady her. It rolled forward across the tile without skipping into the lines...almost with a will of its own. It headed straight for her and slowed to a stop almost unnaturally.

She stared, seeing a bright glow emanating from it. A hand shifted and slowly grasped it.

She gasped and felt the wind knocked from her when contact was made.

_"I love you...you know that right?"_

_"You can't leave me!"_

_"I'm...sorry, but...I have to..."_

_"Damn it! Don't do this to me! You CAN'T leave!"_

_"Please...don't forget me..."_

She crunched into a ball at the onslaught, fist tight around the marble. The sheer force of emotion evoked created tears and they fell unheeded as two echoing voices were accompanied by flashes of sight. There were one second shots of color, faces she knew she could remember if they lasted long enough.

A rainbow of emotions surged and she felt every one as if they were her own. She didn't understand how or what was happening, but it all seemed to fit...like a key component to the life she always wanted and missed out on.

In that split second, she felt more than her entire life; adventure, the knowledge of a loving family, deep friendship, and a purpose.

He was hoping she would understand, but he didn't expect an asthmatic seizure! Her body was trembling as if incredibly frightened and she was panting as if unable to catch her breath. He was scared out of his mind and couldn't figure out what to do this time. She was nearly pressed into herself and one arm was clutching her head, the other holding the marble in a death grip.

"KALIE!" He shouted, hearing her whimper. Hands whipped out and shook her, trying to jog her attention from whatever the hell was going on. "Shi - shikkari sh - shimasu yo!"

Her crying neared hysterical, sobbing proportions and she had no clue why. There were more pictures, these a lot slower than the first time this happened, and the noises were much easier to pick out. She didn't know if that was a good thing or not.

The memories stopped on one person, one she seemed to know clearly...yet had never met before. She only had a facial shot with a frame of long, thick, oddly-colored bangs brushing into very unique eyes. There was something she remembered seeing about those eyes...

Indifference.

Pride.

Intensity.

Anger.

Love.

She cried out as another bright flash got through the slits of tightly closed eyes and they shot open as she felt something definite in her mind. She stared at the tendrils of light shining from holes in her fist in amaze and fear.

**_:The wish is complete...you two are now together.:_**

She blinked, eyes widening to pain at the clear female voice as she ignored Inaki above and slowly unhinged to sit up. She saw him pull away, but it seemed like his voice didn't exist. It was very faint, though he was only inches away.

'Wish?' She pondered. 'I didn't wish for anything...'

**_:It will be remembered with time.:_**

She immensely startled and nearly dropped the marble. The shining slowly fluttered out until it died completely, going back to a beautiful, pink color. She held it up to the mid afternoon sun and looked through it, but it was too thick to do so.

He took in her appearance and the way she seemed entranced by the object in her hand. He was fearful to touch her in case she came unglued again, but had to know she was okay.

"Kalie? Are you...alright?"

Her head jerked his way. She felt ashamed of what happened; being the only person who had experience in that kind of supernatural...WHATEVER it was...and wished the ground would swallow her up.

She nodded. "Ee." She muttered, a fierce blush heating her face.

Brown widened in shock. "WHAT did you say??" He breathed, mouth agape.

She looked up in confusion. "I said I'm fine." How could he not hear??

He mentally shook himself, wondering where to ask first. Before he could, she looked away and slowly held her palm out. He dumbly took the ball, staring at it as if it would do the same to him – although it had never been anything other than a simple marble despite its origins.

Slowly, he made for the box and gently set it inside. He replaced everything exactly and pushed the tile to keep from getting pulled up easily by a wandering foot.

Finally, he sat back and stared...only to find she was already doing that.

She was staring life a child of blatant curiosity to comprehend something she was looking at. He would understand it if she was pointing that gaze at the ball, but green was directed right at him.

He blinked, brow furrowing. "K...what is it??"

She startled and rapidly blinked, shifting back. "Ah...nothing... It's – it's nothing...I -" She gasped as vertigo came hard and fast. A hand went to her head, eyes squeezing shut. It lasted and twirled her perceptions longer than it ever had. Nausea arrived as bad as it did when the light flashed and she felt sick.

She feebly twisted and scrambled to her feet, eyes on the stairs. She wouldn't be able to scale up, but down was no problem.

Somehow, she made it to the lower level bathroom in time to lose her lunch without further embarrassment.

He tried to shut out the sounds of retching, but it was impossible. The emotion he had for her and the helplessness of not knowing what she was going through clenched his heart and he stood, making his way for the door. He slid the patio glass open and stepped onto the engawa without shoes. In a few steps, he went to the railing and heavily leaned on it, tears lining his eyes.

It was minutes before she gained the strength to lift her head, let alone stand and clean up. She quickly washed her mouth a few times and tried to be presentable. The fear of what happened in the kitchen, and the mortification of what it must've seemed like, made her want to hide the rest of her life in here. But she couldn't – she had to deal with this and TRY to start explaining her way through.

Taking a deep breath for courage, she ambled out and up the steps, only to find her host shifted position. Feet scuffled on the carpet before she mentally ordered herself to move.

He tracked her movements with hearing, feeling worse instead of better when hands timidly rested over his back. He felt almost as horrible as he did that day on the boat and couldn't explain the reason for it. He did nothing wrong this time.

But he had the distinct feeling that with that touch, K was hiding something and trying to make up for it. He just knew it. He knew because he knew her.

"Inaki...I...that was...I'm..."

He took a deep breath and turned to face her. Whatever she did or did not tell him, he couldn't help the need to comfort her whenever she adopted that lost tone. His chin rested on her head as he blankly stared at the sky. She clutched him tightly and he took comfort in the fact that she wasn't turning away at least.

At length, he sighed. "Whatever happened in that room...stays in that room." He felt her head shift to look at him, but he wasn't done. "My family wouldn't be very pleased with me showing you that because not only have I done so without consulting them, but we're a family – this is something very touchy with us. I showed it to you in confidence...and I won't tell a soul of whatever happened to you."

She blinked and pulled away enough to pin him with a confused gaze. "You...didn't see?? How could you NOT? It was so bright!"

He was just as confused. "I don't know what you're talking about. One minute I had the ball in my hand, the next you cried out and dropped to the floor." Hands rose and wiped her face of any remaining tears that hadn't dried by now. "I don't know what happened...but you seem to be taking it better than I think you should."

She looked away when his eyes turned skeptical and suspicious.

"I've...been getting dizzy spells recently." She timidly supplied. "They've gotten rather bad lately, so I went to the doctor last Sunday, but they won't give me my results for a few weeks."

Worry fingered his veins. "It's nothing serious though right?? It's just simple dizziness?"

She wasn't going to tell him of the noises or sounds until she had truth first. Waiting was easier than changing minds. "I don't know...that's why I went. I wish I could find out sooner, but it's not possible."

"You call me the second you get results. I don't care if I'm in the middle of moping the back room – I want to know!" He ordered. A hand moved and forced her to look at him. "You never told me about this...and you never told Sam."

"I didn't want you two freaking out. I've been doing enough of that for the three of us. It wouldn't have gotten us anywhere you know..."

Brown hardened a little. "No excuse. She's your best friend and I'm your boyfriend! You say you trust me - that means with anything. I accept that you trust me, but you have to find out what that word means. How long are you going to keep holding off telling me things until they do this to you??"

Properly chastised. Sam would've been proud.

Her head ducked and hid in his chest again. "I know...I know... I'll tell you the results when I get them back."

"AND Sam."

Her head shot up. "But -"

"Sam has been putting up with a lot of frustration of not knowing how to deal with you. I could tell when she called and all but ordered me to get you out of the house. If you didn't notice before we left, she was rather timid around you. I've never seen her like that. You can at least tell her as a way of apologizing."

She nodded. "You're right... I just hope she doesn't hold it against me..."

Arms went to their snug positions again. "She's your best friend. **I** don't because I know you've got issues with it. It just takes time."

But time was not something he was going to easily wait for, not when it concerned the girl in his arms, and not something so serious with her physical or mental health.

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Shikkari shimasu yo!-Get a hold of yourself! Ee-Like hai in agreement **(For females only, female is Aa)**

Singer: Evanescence Titles: Going Under and Tourniquet **(in that order)**


	50. Ch 50 9,22,2098 5th Commentary

_She was reliving a life again...only this time the life she was seeing wasn't her own. This seemed like something out of a fairytale and the only reason it wasn't – which was still uncertain how she knew PERIOD – was due to the déjà vu she was getting._

_She was smelling, hearing, and seeing things with perfect clarity. They ran like some kind of movie she saw a long time ago, ages ago even, and had practically forgotten._

_This was not in third person either. She was seeing people of course, but nowhere did she see the person whose life she was viewing._

_She had a feeling this was through-your-eyes only._

_There was such a beautiful surrounding land. Trees and lush grass spread out as far as the eye could see and the only things breaking that were rickety dirt roads and small, closet-like wood huts._

_How incredibly charming...in a simplistic way..._

_Among the smells was an incredible pungency of medicinal herbs. Her vision would sometimes be directed at rows of plants, or bushes of certain types. She had no clue what kind she was looking at, but by the hands plucking away in spots, the host did._

_There was no way to tell the years in this life, as there were no mirrors around to check the physical features of the person. Looking at the others in detail found them to age almost in rapid detail._

_She was viewing in rather fast speed, taking in everything with a small set of wonder, appreciation, and normality. There was a sense of belonging in this world, as if she had a place here._

_It got a little confusing and somewhat heart wrenching during a specific period. It slowed down and seemed to tell her to pay attention._

_That she did._

_She didn't understand words, though the dialect seemed RATHER familiar, so she focused on facial expressions and body language._

_There was a group, looking at her almost pleadingly and she felt seriousness at the thing in an outstretched palm. She saw a slim, pale hand when her vision looked to take the object and mentally startled at the same pink ball Inaki had in his kitchen._

_WHAT THE HELL?!_

_It was clasped to the heart and she felt a twinge of sorrow at...a sense of duty? There was an incredible feeling of power, both good and bad impressions. While held, the bad went away and good flourished._

_It was like a war in that small thing. She didn't know how and had too many questions and no answers, but somehow... knew without having to ask. Seeing this life explained it all, even if she couldn't understand what was being said._

_It was too strange and if she hadn't been living bizarre for the past few months, she would never be able to wrap her brain around THIS._

_She did pick something up one day while looking at others. The clothes were rather particular, but she found some of them familiar. The colors weren't anything spectacular, nor were the fabrics, but the shape of the eyes and the clothes clarified one thing._

_She was definitely watching something from old, OLD Japan and only knew that from recent studies and the Yamoi household._

_This life she was looking through - she soon found out - was rather serene...but not necessarily in a nice way. There was stoicism, peace, a lack of showing some emotions, a profound sense of duty, and a thread of sorrow tied to that duty. She could feel them as if they were her own, and the scary thing was, she had some of these in her life already._

_The one thing this mysterious person lacked was a shred of genuine happiness. There were a few specks of it, from what she grasped in this slow viewing, to a little girl with an eye patch, but not much else._

_At least until one sunny afternoon._

_This person was an archer and she didn't know that until there was a notched arrow sighting to shoot. Almost half a dozen went off in perfect aim and hit their mark._

_Apparently, this body was a very GOOD archer!_

_She took a good look at the target as her host walked closer and looked up...getting the shock of a lifetime._

_Indifference._

_Pride._

_Intensity._

_Anger._

_She was staring at the same gold eyes as in her vision!_

_It freaked her out badly, though the emotions running through the person were interesting to encounter._

_The emotions came and grew stronger, along with the feeling of being watched. She got that as the time sped up a little bit, but the eyes never bothered looking for it._

_Somehow, she got the impression the host knew exactly who it was._

_That face had a body, and she had the strongest sense of déjà vu, other than seeing it many times here. She had no clue what it was, but it looked mildly adorable and rather handsome – if one got past the overbearing egoism and apathy. The only way she knew it was even human was the recognition of human features and male voice._

_The only way she knew this body was female was the emotions springing to life when they looked at this unnamed male._

_She was wrong about this girl – or woman? – not knowing any happiness. Through the many being watched notions and meetings, there was kinship and slowly blossoming love. She found it endearing to feel, as the female was extremely shy and uncertain._

_In the duty of protecting that marble, there had been the feeling that this girl was a rock...almost inhumane with the way she acted. That changed with this 'man'._

_Whatever relationship blossomed was plutonic in a way. There was no kissing, no massive hugging, or holding of hands. There were a lot of soft looks and smiles, but she knew that said a lot more than physical touch could._

_It didn't end well, but she knew a relationship of any kind could always end badly. She was living proof that life could turn sour at the drop of a hat._

_To her shock and immense sorrow, the two turned on each other. She saw it all, but was confused as to WHY. She could tell the girl was in love with the boy, but in the end, rage and betrayal washed away the good._

_Those archer skills were put to use for a final time in waning strength as she shot the boy again...this time in the heart. There was a sense of grim satisfaction, but also that same thread of responsibility wrapped with sorrow._

_She watched as the boy subdued, still pinned to the tree, before turning her attentions to the girl when she spotted blood in a change of view._

_She encountered the staggering amount of pain as if it were her own and knew this girl was dying. Mostly because the girl could tell she was dying. The odd part was there was no panic, just acceptance and dissatisfaction at dying when there was so much to do with the object in possession._

_It was distressing to watch, seeing such a respected and honored person fall. The grief was written everywhere in the surrounding. She watched the same slim hand place the trinket in the same little girl's hand and felt the bond there._

_She knew they were sisters._

_Though she couldn't cry while inhabiting this body, she felt the emotions of crying well up as everything went black when the curtain closed. One word ate at her heart, even if she didn't understand it._

_"ONEE-SAMA!!"_

-----

_The darkness surrounding her was not scary or comfortable. She couldn't see anything, but that was fine. It felt like she was left to process all she'd seen...to take it in and deal...to think of it and ponder._

_She was not left in the black long when a view surrounded her vision and she was awed._

_The place was so beautiful! It was different than the last by a long shot. She knew because she recognized the modern construction tools like glass, plaster, wood flooring, and painted walls._

_From watching in the same fast viewing, she was still in Japan. What part she didn't know, but the clothes, looks, and eating utensils were a BIG giveaway._

_There didn't seem anything spectacular about this life, even though she knew boring was not always a bad thing. Boring could be nice, and was certainly a lot safer than the dangers of the other life she saw._

_It was so odd...the monsters of that time..._

_The time didn't stop until the child grew to a girl, almost teenager. She had a lot of hints due to mirrors around the house._

_She was even more shocked at seeing the face she was living through. More so than the marble or the eyes of the other life._

_This face was so familiar she swore it was her twin! There WERE a few differences though. Besides the clothes and the different dialect – what she recognized was Japanese, and only from her time with the Yamois – the eyes and hair were different shades and the hair was longer._

_Other than that, she could've claimed this as some kind of relative, if for the fact she KNEW she had no oriental ancestors._

_The emotions coming from this girl were to the point of total opposite as she felt them. There was so much happiness it made her envious. There was also a close family and many friends – which she also desired._

_This girl seemed to have everything she wanted in sensations, friends, family, and even better crushes in school._

_She had the perfect and rather normal life it seemed, at least until one day the girl was called into some odd building by her little brother._

_A little brother! Her envy raised a notch at feeling their bond._

_Though it was easy to tell the two picked on each other a little, the girl more than the boy, they were tightly connected._

_Something odd DID happen to that routine life, and it was a power she recognized by watching the other. Some kind of boarded object burst open._

_The same monsters she saw in the other life ran through her mind. She saw some look-alikes and wondered just HOW this was possible! This part seemed like the modern world – how did something that magical and out of place transcend time like that??_

_She was – to total befuddlement – transported BACK to the other land. Her host was as confused, but there was relief at seeing one of the largest trees she ever saw in her life. It dwarfed the one in her mom's backyard without contest._

_Inaki would've loved it if he could see it._

_Peculiarly enough, the same tree had the same boy she watched get shot stuck to it. The feathers from the arrow were brown and tattered, and she knew keeping something over time would see degeneration from its original form. But the shaft was in perfect condition and the body hadn't slumped at all or fallen from the arrow breaking with time._

_There was a rather good close up of the boy's sleeping features and something she couldn't pinpoint came to her. The boy looked so peaceful and attractive, but he reminded her of someone. That was the most absurd thing in the world because not only could this boy NOT be real, but it was also a dream._

_Of course...that didn't explain the marble or the current twin she was living through._

_It MIGHT be possible she was incorporating things she saw in everyday life into a dream. She knew that happened from high school Psychology. In a dream, you could make whatever you wanted and didn't have to give it rhyme or reason._

_Was she doing this now?_

_The emotions from the first girl were rather close to hers, and this had almost everything she wanted and didn't or would never have._

_Perhaps she WAS making it up...if not for the notion of deep recollection with both and that she knew this boy from somewhere._

_Maybe she dated someone like him in the past and stuck him in here? No, she didn't hate anyone that much to see them get shot with an arrow._

_By the time she paid attention instead of musing over the whole thing, the dream progressed to a startling event. She berated herself for not paying attention when it seemed quite pertinent that she do so._

_She was attached to a tree, quite painfully and without rope. The same monster that she saw in the beginning of this girl's life was holding her to it...and the boy was awake._

_His tone was very scornful and the look was the same as when he and the other first met. He tried to kill this girl, which he didn't do to the other one – very interesting at that – and she watched magic happen._

_She never saw magic in her life before. Even though it wasn't real, she marveled at it._

_It was such a beautiful necklace - so original. She almost wanted one, except for the strange word her host uttered that sent the boy sprawling to the ground. There was such shock at that, but seeing him go through the bridge with such a comical expression made her want to laugh._

_She would've if she'd been able._

_She was stunned at seeing the same pink jewel...and the disturbing fact of it getting ripped out by the monster. This girl had it, unless it was a copy somehow...but she immediately knew that was impossible. Even though this girl felt a lot like the other, the inner strength – it was hard to describe - was a little weaker._

_But with that strength, she was able to perceive the war still going on with that ball. In this girl's hands, it dimmed to good again and was pacified._

_She didn't know what to expect at the discovery of it being shattered. When an object of glass or the like broke from a forceful blow, it normally chipped a few pieces off the main._

_This, bizarrely enough, splintered into many teeny tiny pieces that she had no idea was possible. The shock and perplexity gained at seeing them fly away was equal to the girl's._

_She had half a mind to ask what the hell was going on with that marble, but wanted to see where this dream was going. She could ask Inaki later, provided she remembered._

_She soon met – after a discovery of a little time traveling – the most lovable thing she ever laid eyes on. Even more so than Inaki and all his quirks._

_There were no words – what she understood from their language at least – to describe this mildly human species. The eyes were the same design as the boy's, but this green was so green it put emeralds to shame. And the shade of red made Sheryl and Hal look like blondes._

_Her host felt a deep bond, almost like a baby brother or – what was strange for her age – mother-and-child situation. She supposed, watching all the times the girl defended the young redhead against the disgruntled boy, it might look like it despite the gross difference in physical attributes._

_Not so later, the three came across another person in their search. She was unhappy to see how this boy acted, even if the mood was a definite relief from feeling the other boy's._

_His flirting reminded her of some of Inaki's friends and Sam...except no way would Sam go around touching other people's rear ends for no reason._

_Well...not ALL the time maybe..._

_She wondered about the earrings and low ponytail...since she figured monks – as she got from his clothes and classes – shaved their heads. Perhaps in other areas?_

_She took in this groper using the girl's mind and inner strength. He was VERY powerful. He was definitely a monk who had an effective way to use it. She knew he was rather religious, when he wanted to be, by the few times she saw him preside over a deceased. She respected him because of that and could tell why the girl considered him a close friend despite the occasional grope._

_She mirrored the girl's relief when the monk set his sights on a different girl she soon met._

_Also the only companion more huggable and cute than the redhead child!_

_If she had her way, she would've picked the thing up and hugged it to death. Such a cute cat! Even though she could tell it wasn't normal – as anyone could see by the two tails and pink eyes! – that wouldn't have deterred her._

_She soon found the two girls to be close friends, almost classified as best friends. This other girl reminded her of the first life she witnessed in the comparison of not showing many emotions and being a strong warrior._

_This small group was a rather oddball one, but they mixed well. The girl got along well with everybody...even the disgruntled boy after a while...while the warrior got along with all except the monk. She knew that was a farce and the more she watched, the more she saw romance blooming under the surface. She felt as relationship scheming as the girl did when it came to getting those two together._

_The monk was like her host in congeniality around everyone, except he couldn't keep hands off the other girl. It was mildly nice watching him get beat into submission and funny to see. Such a powerful person getting beat by a girl. She wanted to laugh._

_The redhead seemed to be spiteful to the disgruntled boy, but she could almost sense a competition for her goodwill. She wondered if the child DID consider this girl his mother after a while...but that would be normal after so much babying and protection. Otherwise he was much behaved with the others and got along with them._

_The gold-eyed boy seemed to want to get along with no one, even her host. She found that endearing after a while, as the girl did, because they could both tell it was a front. The happiness, nativity, and concern the girl showed knocked his defenses away._

_She thought it was cute when he worried about her more than that ball he seemed to obsess over. To her, that's when it all altered and the boy was changed._

_Heartbreak seemed to revolve around this boy quite a bit. Through some screwed up twist of fate, the girl from her first viewing returned to life and took her with. She didn't know how it was possible, but one second she was in her look-alike's body, and then she was in the first one again._

_She never noticed how much those two looked similar until they were together._

_She wanted to shout to the girl when she attacked the boy, though there was adoration and maybe even love there. Every horrid emotion felt before the girl's death rose and washed out all emotion...even when the other started pulling her back._

_It was the oddest of things to be in two different people, as the vengeful girl was still alive._

_She quickly deduced from everything she saw regarding those two, that they had the same soul. It was quite easy considering she was first in one, then another, than split in two. From then on, she watched two diverse viewpoints at the same time they happened. That was confusing enough without the two girls meeting up._

_They met up a few times and it was always over the boy. She felt love and hate of the first host, and a pure love from the second. Love triangles were a bitch and she knew this from being in one with Hal and after breaking up with Brad._

_The second girl had something else that she would've wanted if she weren't so lucky to meet Inaki. This love toward the boy was so deep, genuine, and compromising it stunned her. So many things happened, yet she always had this stretch of forgiveness._

_Love was a wondrous thing and she could mirror that thought by a few horrible things Inaki did to her since the beginning._

_She was so happy to see when the love was reciprocated, at least subtly. Her perceptions were still split in two, but the sides seemed to be slipping. The first host was more resigned to let the boy go than in the beginning. They were both sad, but she had to admit, the first was definitely mature about it._

_Aside from that one attempted murder of the other girl._

_She didn't understand the words since the beginning, but being able to look at facial expressions and watch the body move helped more than she thought. She gained much understanding and almost felt words didn't matter. Sure they would clear up about half the questions she kept getting, but she was slowly getting the gist of it._

_It wasn't hard to hate the single man who seemed to be the cause of all hatred. She took one look into his face and felt contempt like none other. The entire group seemed to hate him for a reason, some that were easy to figure out and some she was left in the dark on._

_There were many battles with him, each steadily growing more dangerous and magical. The second host, she soon found to be almost MORE powerful than the first. She considered their being equal if they were connected, but surpassing was quite a feat._

_The first was so strong already._

_It seemed to take forever until the final battle came. Like any story, there's a beginning, middle, and end. This seemed more prolonged than normal, but did happen._

_It was so intense. Everyone the in the little group was there fighting as hard as they could with what they could. Some of the perceived enemies were there as well, along with many of the monsters she saw from the first girl's life._

_She watched with rapt attention, feeling on the edge of her seat if she was seated. It was horrible to think, but this was so exciting!_

_She felt drawn to this battle over the others. Because it was the last? For having watched so many, she would have the satisfaction of knowing the bad guy would be beaten, both couples would be together and happy, and that marble – which seemed to be the cause of it all – would be disposed of somehow._

_The battle went into sudden slow motion and she perked to awareness. She was supposed to be paying attention and looked at the scene as much as the views allowed._

_Destruction._

_Pain._

_Weariness._

_Death._

_Determination._

_Ambush._

_LOOK OUT!!_

_She wanted to scream it, wanted to scream period. The horror she felt was hers and the host's. That feeling was felt together more than once, the second time worse than the first._

_She was too stunned to form coherent thoughts and could only watch the view shift to some kind of living tentacle stabbed through the girl's body near the left shoulder. The pain felt was not her own, but she felt it regardless._

_She wished a swift death for the girl from that, wished to wake up now. This somehow got out of hand and turned to the realm of nightmares._

_But it wouldn't release her._

_The evil WAS defeated...but there was a price to pay. There was ALWAYS a price._

_The once disgruntled boy filled her vision as it swam. Pain was getting stronger by the second and it hurt just to breathe. Again, this girl was dying, much like the other had before and during battle._

_Both were still so in love with him, through all triangles and trials._

_It wasn't fair!_

_She wanted to scream her outrage that the happy-ever-after deserved to happen after all the shit the group had been put through. She wished there was something to do to keep the girl from dying and wipe the anguish from the boy's face._

_She saw and sensed how much bad happened in his life and wanted more than anything to give him some good...but she was merely a spectator._

_And this WAS still a dream..._

-----

_She knew the girl died by total blackness surrounding again. Whether or not she was left until a different section came she didn't know, but she was tired of looking._

_No more... There was so much death, violence, and love it hurt her heart to see. She couldn't imagine having to LIVE through all that! She wanted out of this dream. She didn't want to be here anymore._

_In the midst of mourning for the characters, there was a sudden sharp pain stabbing her shoulder and a ghostly hand floated to try and touch it. It burned in a way and reminded her of terrible heartburn that directed in a specific spot._

_The left section of her shoulder._

_She tried to rub it, feeling she was actually doing so, though she couldn't see. She wanted to grit her teeth, to cry out against it, to look at it and find the cause._

_But she couldn't see a thing._

_Amidst the pain, she got an almost creepy feeling of not being alone. She was scared at first; instinctively trying to feel everything threatening from what was out there. There seemed nothing bad, though she didn't relax much._

_This presence seemed too familiar to not think about and her mind churned. It was also very demanding and she got that from experience of feeling things through the two girls._

_I want my body back._

_She startled and screamed, turning in the darkness with no body, trying to see without sight._

_Did she just hear right?! What did that mean?? Why did that voice sound incredibly familiar?_

_You don't understand – I have to go back to him! Give me back my body!_

_She shivered at the need and insistence, shrinking back._

_What was she supposed to do now??_

She wrenched awake by the grace of god and shakily tried to get her breath. Hands clutched her head at the lightheadedness that assaulted her.

She tried to gain her wits. A hand grabbed the sheets and tossed them off, nearly roasting under such a flimsy thing.

Her heart rate was WAY too fast to be normal, even awake, and she shakily got to her feet. She inched the door open, expecting someone to be there, and warily looked around with wide eyes. It was deserted and she would've felt like an idiot – as she lived there for years already – if she didn't have the overpowering feeling someone was there.

Her throat was dry and screaming for water, so she chanced a sprint to the bathroom and shut the door behind her. She was being incredibly childish, but the fear of eyes watching from a dark corner was freaking her out.

And she was freaking herself out. With the help of that bizarre dream too.

She risked flicking the lights on and effectively blinded herself. The off-balanced feeling hadn't left and she turned the faucet on cold, hoping it would help and cool her down.

After getting enough to drink and take her temperature down a few degrees, the water squeaked off and a hand groped for a towel. She pressed it against her face, feeling loads better and a lot more awake. The petty fears that plagued her seemed child's play and she was rolling her eyes that she was scared in the first place.

A few rubs dried everything and she checked to make sure. A double-take at her reflection had her dropping the towel in near horror and peering so close breath fogged the glass.

She felt a lot of shock, horror, and confusion during her dream. Hell, they all seemed common occurrences with the two bits she experienced. They converged on her again in record highs at seeing her reflection.

Hands ran over her skin. She pinched a cheek, watching it avidly in the mirror, but felt pain and knew she was unquestionably awake.

And her eyes were still BROWN.

'Why are they brown, why are they BROWN, WHYARETHEYBROWN?!' She screened, hands tightly gripping the sink.

She had to be dreaming, that's all there was to it! Her eyes were too deep a green to be anything else and did NOT change color with emotions! Sam's changed from light to dark blue sometimes, but hers DID. NOT.

A hand suddenly slapped her across the face and quickly looked again, hoping that helped.

Still brown...

Her breath accelerated rapidly. "I'm still dreaming. I have to be. This doesn't make sense. I felt pain there and I shouldn't have. What's going on? WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?!"

She couldn't take sight off her eyes. The face was the same in every aspect except the irises. Medical science had no explanation for this, but she would LOVE to drop this on them.

In the deep quiet, shock and dread in her face slowly melted away to lack of emotion. It terrified her more...considering HER face hadn't changed at all!

You didn't do as I asked...

Hearing the same voice before her dream ended in her ears, though the reflection's mouth didn't move, caused quite a chain reaction.

In one motion, she jerked back from the sink, shrieked for all she was worth, and lost her balance.

She stumbled into the other wall, harshly striking her head against it and getting the beginning of an impressive headache. She slumped to the floor, peering at the mirror as if something would crawl from it any second, body pushing against the wall with the wish to go through it and keep going.

This wasn't happening! She was still asleep – she HAD to be!!

Her body shook with such intensity, teeth clicked together a few times. Her breathing went faster and hyperventilation started taking hold. It didn't help the pain in her head, but it swarmed in and she couldn't control it.

The door suddenly swung open and revealed a wide awake best friend, one who rushed in and kneeled to her side in a second.

"K what's going on?! Calm down and breathe! Deep, slow breaths now!" Sam snagged the hand towel lying haphazardly on the sink and shoved it over her mouth. "Here, breathe into this, it'll help. God, what happened?? I heard you scream! It's okay...calm down, it'll be okay."

Having Sam around was like a fire to burn away the horror of it all. The solidity she projected, along with the arms sturdily wrapped around her torso, helped gradually pull her from the twilight zone. It took a few more minutes of forcing herself to take deep breaths before she was back to normal.

It all sapped her strength and she leaned against the pudgy girl. A hand went through her lengthy hair and did more to comfort her...even if she snuck a few glances at the mirror with wide eyes.

"You've got an incredible bump on your head. How did you do that?"

She winced when Sam gently felt her crown. "I fell against the wall next to the window."

Sam's mouth pressed to a thin line. "You're lucky you didn't hit the GLASS."

She glumly nodded, feeling sleep weigh on her. "Don't I know it." Sleep was SO not on her list of things to do right now. She didn't want to go back to bed and get swallowed up in some freaky dream she couldn't escape from.

Not to mention be assaulted by bits of those dreams in the too real waking world.

As Sam made to stand, she latched onto an arm, looking with pleading eyes. "Sam...do you mind if...if I...just for tonight...can I bunk with you??"

Stunned blue met hers, but her eyes filled with tears. She couldn't be alone right now!

Sam conceded with a nod and compassionate smile. "Let me get you something for your head or you won't be able to sleep through that."

She wouldn't mind the pain keeping her up, but perhaps the girl's presence would be enough to get her through the rest of the night.

She was betting everything on that right now.

She stood and leaned against the wall farthest from the mirror, suspiciously watching it swing open and closed after Sam retrieved the prize. She took both aspirin and jumped slightly when the door clicked shut on the magnet.

She stared at the petrified image greeting her, glad it was her own, but noticed something even from the other side of the room.

One eye was emerald green, but the other was a deep earthy brown.

@~~~~~ Time for the fifth commentary. Was everyone confused? You were mildly supposed to be. Since the series isn't over and we have no clue what'll happen (as the manga is STILL continued), I'm forced to stretch the creative license here. This rather large dream sequence has a LOT of hints to the final battle with Naraku, and if you reread a few times and think, you might get it. This commentary will deal with Sam. I have pretty detailed profiles for her, and I'll share a few things that make up the little fireball everyone has come to see as the comic relief on K's side.

ROOMMATE-SAMANTHA MERTH

****Physical appearance****

Height-5'6' Weight-115 lbs Eye color-Light blue Hair-Ash blonde...layered shoulder level with no bangs Skin tone-fair Age-21 Birthday-October 16, 2076

General physical structure is short with a hint of chubbiness. Descent is French, Dutch, and Spanish.

****Normal emotional behavior****

Perky. Easy to get along with. A little high-strung at times. Outgoing. Bluntly honest. Works well with others. A slight ditz. A little forgetful on some things. Gets bored slightly easy. Slight meddler. A tad weird.

****Habits****

Doesn't always wash dishes-sets them in sink and forgets sometimes. Takes long, hot showers. Likes to dress up for fun. Paints in spare time. Keeps finger and toe nails well-manicured. Often grips about the heat and humidity.

****Surroundings****

Goes to Florida State University and is junior at start of story. Works at strip mall close to house Monday through Friday, 5-10 p.m. Works at 'Hyatt' hotel Saturday and Sunday, 7 a.m.-12 p.m.

****Hobbies****

Makes art. Finding something to do around the house. Rearranging furniture in the living room. (fan of change) Watches 'chick flicks' with Kalie every Sunday night, mostly as tradition and to spend time together.

The next ten chapters are going to be freak central. The angst, drama, mystery, and information are going to abound here. The plot has officially started and I'm wading in faster than I did with the other chapters. Now that everyone has a grasp on my original characters, it's time for Kagome and Inuyasha to make their appearances. And if I play it right, no one is going to feel too happy with them either. That's what I'm theorizing anyway...I have explanations to back up everything in this story too if anyone asks.

Next commentary will deal with some explanations. For those who have questions up to chapter 60 and want more detailed answers than ones I've emailed, email me or put them in reviews. I will compile them and put a bunch in the sixth - how much depends on who responds. (Depending on the load and space, I might make the seventh hold more...I also have to be careful, as ffnet is getting even pickier about AN.) I know people are madly confused, so this'll help explain some thought processes I have. Few have been able to insinuate guesses (at least that I know of), so this will tell you how off or on you were. ^^ (Can't believe how SHORT this is! ::faints:: )

The Twilight Zone has officially been opened! ~~~~~@


	51. Ch 51

She spent the next few days, and all her free time, hanging out in the library. The place was mildly deserted for a Saturday, as only the hardcore studiers, crammers, or people with no lives loitered about.

She was none of these categories.

She was never in this building unless there was a project to be done. It was normally crowded at the laptop station, with people checking their mail or surfing the net, so she was glad not to be kept waiting.

This was too crucial to sit around.

She was on a mission. There wasn't much time around college and work, so she was forced to come in on the weekend. She was determined to get answers, since no one else was giving them to her.

The wall screen shone against the lenses of wire-rimmed glasses as she avidly read. Anything to do with mental disorders was pulled up and discarded if the symptoms didn't match.

After that outlandish experience, there hadn't been any other delusions. She chalked it up to the fact that it was two a.m., she was MASSIVELY stressed, and still hadn't gotten those damn tests back. It'd been almost three weeks and she was getting fed up.

It was time to take matters into her own hands.

The need to know the truth was overshadowed by what she found. A couple of official-looking medical WebPages had articles which were rather helpful.

They also scared the crap outa her.

_"Many people with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder repeatedly re-experience the event that traumatized them in the form of flashback episodes, nightmares, memories, or frightening thoughts - especially when they are exposed to events or objects reminiscent of the trauma. Anniversaries of the event can also trigger symptoms._

_People with PTSD also experience emotional numbness, sleep disturbances, depression, anxiety, irritability, and outbursts of anger. Feelings of intense guilt are common. Most with PTSD try to avoid any reminders or thoughts of the ordeal. PTSD is diagnosed when symptoms last more than one month._

_Headaches, gastrointestinal complaints, dizziness, chest pain, or discomfort in other parts of the body are common. Often, doctors treat these symptoms without being aware that they are caused by PTSD."_

_----_

_"The psychological symptoms of General Anxiety Disorder are chronic, exaggerated worry, restlessness, tension, and irritability that appear to have no cause or are more intense than is reasonable in the situation. In addition to these psychological symptoms, there are often physical signs as trembling, headaches, dizziness, twitching, muscle tension, aches or soreness, and abdominal upsets._

_Most with GAD claim to have felt anxiety their entire lives and the disorder is often first seen in childhood or adolescence. However, adult onset of the disorder is not uncommon._

_Experts believe GAD is probably caused by a combination of biological factors and life events. Many people who have GAD have other medical disorders such as depression and / or panic disorder that seem to involve changes in brain chemistry - in particular abnormalities in the levels of the neurotransmitter serotonin."_

_----_

_"The symptoms of Dementia are not the result of old age. Severe memory loss is never a normal part of growing older. Rather, the symptoms are due to brain diseases, which seem to be more common in older people. Dementia symptoms may be static or progressive depending on the underlying disease and how it is treated. Static Dementia usually follows a single major injury like severe head trauma or heart attack. It does not progress in severity, but remains stable. Progressive Dementia, however, does become worse over time. This type is found in several major brain disorders._

_Whether it occurs suddenly or gradually, Dementia causes many disabling symptoms including: memory disturbance; personality change; impairment of judgment and control of impulses; confusion or disorientation; depression, paranoia, or anxiety; obsessive behavior or paranoia; delusions or psychotic episodes."_

_----_

_"Schizophrenia is a devastating mental illness and is probably the most distressing and disabling of disorders. The first signs typically emerge in adolescence or young adulthood. People with Schizophrenia suffer from difficulties in their thought processes, which lead to hallucinations, delusions, disordered thinking, and unusual speech or behavior. Contrary to popular belief, people with Schizophrenia do not have split personalities and the great majority of people who suffer are not dangerous to others._

_Schizophrenia is a complex illness, which is thought to be due to a number of different factors acting together. These seem to include genetic influences, trauma to the brain occurring at or around the time of birth, together with the effects of social isolation and / or stress. Other effects may also be important, but not one factor can be said to be the cause of Schizophrenia. Rather, each of these is thought to increase the risk that a person may develop symptoms._

_Most females develop symptoms between ages twenty-five and thirty. Medications and other treatments, when used regularly and as prescribed, can help reduce and control the distressing symptoms of the illness. However, some are not greatly helped by available treatments or may prematurely discontinue treatment because of unpleasant side effects or other reasons. Even when treatment is effective, persisting consequences of the illness - such as ridicule, shame, residual symptoms, and medication side effects - may be very difficult for patients and may prevent them living a normal life."_

Schizophrenia stuck out and seemed to make the most sense, but cures involved deep psychological treatment to admission to a ward.

She was hoping there was some way to home-fix herself.

The other approach was therapy and she had neither money nor time for THAT lengthy procedure. Her savings would be bled dry in no time and that was planned for paying off financial aid.

Plus, she couldn't fit therapy into everything else. She needed those two jobs, and HAD to finish college. She was at the tail-end of the junior year – there was too much at stake!

It seemed pretty hopeless.

She was running out of options. There was only so much to deal with and hide. She still chickened out with Sam, even after that episode. Sam probably chalked it up to a bad nightmare anyway.

She was clinging to the unknown options yet to be explored as the only way of not freaking out. Being a logical person, she reasoned nothing just happened – there was a reason for everything. If you hadn't found an answer, you weren't looking hard enough or in the right places.

Her search was fruitful, but highly discouraging. She had nothing to do but consider all aspects and see if they might work.

She was about ready for anything by now...

Heaving a sigh, she clicked back to the desktop and turned the screen off. After putting cordless mouse and keyboard back, she stood and trudged out. The sunlight practically blinded her and made her nostalgic for the boring life she lost. Eyes took in the few stragglers walking by and wished to trade places.

She just wanted her life back...

~*~*~

She kept mulling over information, worrying how to deal with the possibility she was nuts - and trying to look opposite in public, as she clicked the lock in place. Keys blandly unlocked the door. An almost eerie quiet greeted her, which was nothing new.

Sam sitting at the table, leveling her with an emotionless stare, was.

She stared from the doorway, almost matching her friend. She was trying to discern the look, but her brain was too occupied.

"...Hi." She mumbled.

"Hey."

There was no smart-aleck comment and that uneased her a tad. She finally shut the door and made to put her keys away, Sam watching.

Said person's gaze moved to the mug she was cradling and lifted it slowly. "Your tests are back."

She paused, eyes wide and panicked, at the edge of the kitchen. Her gaze inched to Sam, gaping as whatever in that mug was daintily sipped.

Her heart thundered in her ears and ever conceivable apology ran through her head. There was no way to feign ignorance because the hospital would introduce themselves and Sam had no reason to believe she was switching to the medical field!

The shit more than hit the fan...she was so theoretically deep in it no shovel was going to save her. Groveling maybe. Massive...MASSIVE groveling!

"Oh..." What could she say?? These were the tests she was waiting for! She wanted to run back for her bike – no way in HELL was Sam going to let her use the car! – or pick up the phone.

Providing Sam wasn't that pissed to've purposely not gotten a return number.

"Well...that's good to know...I guess." The mug was finished and slammed on the wood surface with a BANG. She jumped and would've started for safety if not for being frozen in place.

By the utter calm look pointedly ignoring her, she could tell she was going to get reamed good.

"I swear to god I can explain!" She rambled, twisting to face her friend.

Sam was silent as she stood and put the miraculously unhurt glass in the sink. She leaned against it with crossed arms, almost in a square off, and stared. "I'm listening...and this had BETTER be good."

~*~*~

Half an hour later, most of that concerned ranting, the two stood at the reception's desk.

"I STILL can't believe you came all the way HERE..."

"Yes Sam." Pissing the girl off again was NOT a good idea. She was calmed by worry with the dizzy spells – nix the hallucinations – and was now as anxious for answers as she was.

"And by BIKE nonetheless."

"Yes Sam."

A finger whipped out and poked her. "Stop patronizing me!"

"Yes Sam."

A growl started, but any other comment was cut short by a pair of muffled footsteps and the awaited presence. "Himmen? Kalie Himmen?"

Her gaze shot to the desk they were leaning on, heart racing. "That's me." A small stack of papers was handed across the way. "I'm almost afraid to look..." She mumbled, hesitantly taking them.

The nurse took to the swivel chair and watched with a congenial face, waiting for any questions. "Oh...I think you'll be pleasantly surprised..."

She skimmed to what she sort of understood and stopped on the blood work. She stared at the same few lines, not getting past the mumbo jumbo. "What does this mean???"

"What K?" Lemme see."

She ignored Sam and forced herself to keep from shoving the sheets in the nurse's face. "The bottom half of this page! Right here!"

"Calm down miss – let me take a look."

Light blue speared a worried glance at her friend. "K? What's gotten into you?"

She ignored the girl. There were too many 'negative' words on that page under what could've been wrong. She didn't know half those descriptions, but was not getting a good feeling about this. If her hunch was correct...

The woman skimmed the new few, mumbling some of the lingo. After a few excruciatingly long moments, she looked up. "No worries miss – you're as healthy as a horse."

"How can that BE..." She whispered. Somehow, her gaze drifted to a far wall and remained there. Incredulous eyes pierced some random spot as she fought to remain upright.

"WHAT? But – but...the dizzy spells! The lightheadedness! I don't believe she's perfectly fine!" Sam nearly roared. Light blue cast a quick glance to her friend, anxious at the shock there. "Show me exactly where it says that." The nurse looked a little put out, but exited the station and explained in two-cent terms what was requested.

This was not possible... she WASN'T healthy, everything so far showed that! The spells, the dreams, the sounds, the smells...those voices... she assumed it was a bodily problem. Now she didn't know WHAT to think.

Her gaze turned thoughtful as she replayed months to the beginning. Her eyes widened and a hand shifted to touch her body. 'Those few hours...once IS all it takes...'

"I'm not...PREGNANT...am I?"

Two pairs of eyes looked over, the other still on the wall.

Sam dumbly stared and blinked. "You CAN'T be – you were only together that night!"

She fought not to blush at talking about her sex life in public. At least the nurse was female... "And the next morning – twice."

Sam's mouth opened and quickly closed. Now was no time to congratulate her friend. Or ask questions of just how the hell they did that with her in the house!!

Pages rustled for a second. The two stared at the nurse as she checked the contents. "Nope." A finger tapped the page. "Says right here."

She was relieved. She had a small soft spot for kids, but was WAY too young for that yet. Except that would've explained it all. Now she was back to square one.

"Well, you're healthy as you ever were. Can we head home now?"

She nodded, barely paying attention. When she didn't move, Sam wrapped their arms together and guided them out. Papers fluttered to her lap in the car and she stared at them. Her gaze never left until the car was turned off.

"We're home. You can blink now." She looked out the windshield as Sam exited the car and looked inside after a second when she never moved. "Are you getting out or what??"

It was easy to see she was in a state of shock, at least on some level. Sam didn't know the depth of her worry and fear. If nothing was wrong with her physically, then the only thing left was mentally. She was crazy, medical science chopped her other option off...even if there was no explanation for the dizziness.

She had no answers and no way to get them. There was nothing else she could do except visit a therapist and she had limited options there. It wouldn't last long enough to get her back to normal, so there was really nothing to be done in that area.

She felt helplessness like none other well up. When a hand finally shifted and opened the car door, it seemed as if a void was growing. She never liked not knowing the answers, always being a theoretical person half the time. It was almost second nature for her to find the solution to a problem or think about a puzzle.

She was without an effect to this cause and no way to find one.

Things never happened without a reason. All going on in her mind was something dealt with for the first time. There HAD to be a reason for that!

She trudged up the walk, barely aware of the steps and tripping over one. Sam caught her from the top, worried beyond belief by now. She couldn't answer for explanations of her behavior. Words stuck in her mind; tongue too heavy to move and use.

"I'm...going...upstairs." She muttered, shuffling around Sam for the stairway. She barely managed to kick off sandals in preservation of the carpet.

Sam watched the girl handle herself as if carrying an anvil on her shoulders. Blonde brows furrowed as trepidation hit hard. 'What is going on?? I thought she would've been happy to know she was okay! Of course that DOESN'T say what was wrong with her...but maybe it was just stress...or a passing thing...'

Totally perplexed, Sam stood in the doorway for a bit shutting the inside and finally putting her keys in their normal resting spot.

She heaved a sigh and cast a final look at the upstairs before heading for the living room to get back to the book she started before the call came.

~*~*~

She should've gone to her room, but her feet seemed to move by themselves. Her body wasn't being controlled - she was merely wandering around. It was here or the room.

She really had nowhere to go right now.

There was the biggest lost feeling in the world. She stared out the bathroom window, pondering what to do now. The first voice hadn't reappeared since she heard it at Inaki's and the second was absent from her dreams since its first appearance in the tangible world.

But she could still tell, oddly enough, that it was there.

The weirdness of her situation, the past few months, and the notion of that presence now tiptoeing to the foreground piled up and crashed down. Her lips twitched through the mask. A small smile appeared as her shoulders started shaking in silence. The barely of rasping laughter was heard and soon gained in strength until she was fighting to stand on her own power.

It wasn't hysterical by any means, but right now was no laughing matter, so it could've been classified as such.

She collapsed to her knees, clutching both sides, as tears gathered in the corners. The laughter went on, unable to stop.

'I'm not crazy! I'm NOT! I'M NOT!!' The noise finally died to include sobbing until crying took over as primary roll. For some reason, Sam hadn't come up yet, but she didn't know whether or not she wanted comfort. 'I WANT ANSWERS!'

The arms wrapped around her sides clenched and brought pain, feeling like hurting something, as she shot to her feet. She stared at the shower wall blankly.

A small shiver raced up her spine at the feeling of being watched. It felt familiar and her eyes widened. Her head slowly inched over, afraid and morbidly drawn to the right, until she was eyeing the mirror.

A pair of irritated brown eyes stared at her.

Her eyes widened further and she wanted to stumble back like the first time, but her body wouldn't move. She felt rooted to the spot, unable to take her eyes off the vision. "You're...me!" She breathed. Lightheadedness suddenly returned with a vengeance as the vision kept staring. The look turned a little less annoyed and somewhat understanding...which was more mystifying. Hands clutched her head as her gaze squeezed shut. "God...what's...going on??"

An overwhelming urge to vomit attended as a result, but sheer will kept her from doing so. She fell to her knees, almost knocking her chin on the sink, before doubling against her legs.

'I feel like I'm going to be sick. God...why me?? What is happening to me? Why does this have to happen to me? I thought my life was finally on track. What is going on?!'

"What's...happening...to me..." She trailed off, black dancing over her vision. She slumped to the floor, boneless, unconscious.

-----

_"Despacio, él miró en el espejo con los ojos espantosos. En esé espejo, él vi el mismo hombre...pero fueron diferencias. Los ojos que fueron verdes, ahora están morenos. Y el pelo que fue moreno, ahora está negro._

_'¿¡Por qué estoy cambiando!? ¿Qué son las causas?'_

_Él miró de cerca a sus ojos, estira a la piel debajo de. Él miró fijamente en el color para unos minutos. Él estuvo MUY confuso. En un momento de debilidad, él chilló y agarró su pelo. Él estuvo MUY espantojo...pero también él estuvo enojado._

_'¿¡Por qué yo!? ¿Qué he hecho merecer éste?'"_

-----

The sound of jangling shoved Sam from her novel. With an annoyed sigh at being torn away, she looked up to find the trail end of her roommate going past the narrow archway. Light blonde furrowed. "K?" There was no response except for the back door opening. Startling, Sam tossed the novel on the couch, not caring that her place was lost. "HEY!" The door shutting told her she was too slow and by the time she got to the kitchen and looked out the back windows, she saw a patch of dark hair moving around the house. Light blue blinked, feeling utterly lost. "What the HELL is up with that girl??"

~*~*~

It was strange to be on a bike in so long, but she still remembered. The wind in her face, the freedom of going as fast or slow as you wanted... It was this simple pleasure she missed as much as the others.

There was a destination in mind and she only knew where to go by the memories...having scanned them previously.

This land seemed so incredible! She never had the chance or burning desire to visit, but she couldn't resist looking around.

She knew exactly where she was, what she was doing, and where she was going. All the streets were as foreign as the language, but still acknowledged from being lived in for years.

How odd.

It was so weird to have no clue where you were, yet have the memories of tiny details never known without giving a second glance. It was like being handed a map and explained everything, then going out into that area.

She watched the people as she passed. They looked so different, yet by looking at her reflection before, knew they looked just like she did.

She was no different on the outside and that was a small comfort.

Even if - on the inside - she belonged on the other side of the world.

So many questions arose when she first felt a tinge of consciousness, and only some were answered by looking through the eyes she was now using and seeing this life.

Just HOW many times was she going to have to go through this before the ironic twists ceased?!

She learned this language in school, but rarely used it. There was never time to practice on tourists, especially not with all her travels. She had a pathetic consumption and grasping of it, though scanning the memories gave her total comprehension.

This was so mocking it was almost laughable.

The night came as fast as she always remembered. She was hoping for a little more time, but was not out here for no reason and had to hurry. She was getting tired quickly.

She had no practice in this, as there was no need in her massive traveling back and forth through time. Not to mention her friends never had urges to change their appearance.

Would she be blamed for this?? All she wanted was to be herself again... Somehow, the hair was almost as wild as it used to be, but the shade was more like her good, good friend's than her own. That hair was almost identical to this than the ones from her own time.

The smell was horrible. She couldn't believe people would knowingly use this stuff! If HE knew she was doing this, his nose would've scrunched up and the complaints would never stop.

She paused, eyes tearing. Where was he now? Was here like she was? A quick root through the memories made her incredibly suspicious. She had to see for herself to know for sure, but until then she couldn't help but get her hopes up.

Would he still remember her?

Perhaps that's why she was doing this. She wanted to look exactly the same as she did to make it easier for him. Though, he always knew her smell...

She couldn't believe the changes of this life. The hair color and eyes were different, but there were ways about that. She didn't want to be cruel, but her time was cut drastically short and she still had so much to do!

There was a small measure of guilt as the water was turned on and her head lowered. She might be pushed back for a while, if the other was furious enough.

Just what would happen tomorrow?

Her conscious was waning as she finished everything and grabbed a towel. This was either taking longer than was instructed, or she was being fought. Judging the response she got when she became conscious enough and saw the other through the mirror the first time, she was betting on fighting.

There was another presence nearby, but she ignored it. Walking through the memories told her who the girl was, but was unknown to HER. They never personally met, even if the other and this girl were best friends.

She stared in fascination at blond hair, having never seen it before now, before turning and ignoring the girl's voice for the other's room.

A raised futon-looking frame seemed rather inviting. She took a survey of the room, finding it pleasant - but almost lacking something, before trudging to the bed.

She plopped down on the mattress, wincing a little at the different give than her own past comfy bed, but sunk into it anyway. There was a distinct smell of vanilla on the sheets and blankets and her nose wrinkled.

That was the next to go. HE wouldn't recognize her by that smell. She would get her own back in no time and it would overpower this. Although this was nice, it wasn't hers.

It was the other's.

She heaved a yawn and prayed to the gods she wouldn't be screamed at too much after this. She was going to be exhausted enough and if this could, it would give her a headache.

Brown closed as she finally conceded control back to her other.

~*~*~

The dawn woke her up, which was odd because it was earlier than her clock. She looked to the clock, finding the alarm not set. Her brow wrinkled a little. She stared at articles around her room in a confusion that had nothing to do with sleepiness.

A light knocking on her door gained attention to the wood. "Yo K! You up yet? I'd like to have a word with you."

Her eyes snapped wide in realization and she sat up. Work! She startled at an odd weight on her head and reached a hand to touch her scalp, finding a barrier. 'WHAT THE HELL?!'

"Are you decent?"

Not like Sam would worry about seeing her lewd, but it was always nice the girl cared about her enough to ask. "Yea..."

Blonde peeked in and the emotions in Sam's gaze took her back. There were too many there for this early in the morning. "I won't ask for an explanation, but next time...PLEASE ask me for help. You made a damn big mess and you are going to be the one to pick it up, not me."

Her brow furrowed. "What ARE you talking about??" She asked, sliding off the bed. Her legs nearly gave out – which was rather strange – and she quickly grabbed the nightstand.

Sam huffed and swung the door wide. "WHAT am I talking about?? What am I TALKING about?! Don't play clueless with me! If you look between the two of us, you'll know which one still has their original color!"

Her mouth opened and closed. Words escaped her as known lightheadedness almost shyly peeked its way forward. A hand massaged her eyes, praying it didn't blow up in front of her friend.

There were going to be no more trips to the hospital.

"Sam...I have no clue...what you're talking about." She mumbled, taking a few steps forward. "I – I was...what did I do when I got home after the hospital?" Light blue stared, widening a little. Sam waited until her friend came closer, than stuck her face closer. The hand that floated to her temple dropped as confusion grew. "What?? What're you doing? Get outa my face."

"Did you get contacts too when you went out?"

She blinked and touched the skin under an eye. "No! You know I don't need contacts and I hate them. Why would I get any?"

"Because your eyes are brown. Don't tell me you don't like the color of your eyes. I always did."

They changed again...

That night, they were both brown. Before she went to bed, they changed to one green and one brown. When she got up the next morning and checked again, they were both green. She almost played it up to seeing something and her eyes weren't REALLY green. If she had some kind of Schizophrenia, she could just be seeing anything. Her body wouldn't really have changed.

All her theories just got shot to hell.

Her heart froze. She ignored the girl and nearly pushed Sam against the doorway to get around for the bathroom. The wrapping on her head jostled loose, but she ignored it and skidded to a stop. She stared in open shock and dread at the bathroom. There were stains – suspiciously resembling black – lining the sink and spots on the floor. She blinked, forgetting her mission to check her eyes again, and inched into the room. A hand touched the nearest stain and found it dried. Nothing came off on her hands.

She stared at her fingers for a second before yanking the towel off that was halfway there already. She unfolded it to see entirely and her eyes widened – if possible – even further on the matching black stains surrounding it.

"Sheesh...I know you've never done this, but you didn't even wash it out enough. Now we're going to have to throw that towel away."

She ignored Sam and dropped it, leaning over the sink. She stared in growing horror at the vision that – thankfully – was the same horrified face. Her eyes were most definitely brown.

And her hair. Was. BLACK.

She stared at the unkempt mane, almost wild from being slept on last night. Bangs shadowed her eyes almost, and looked more puffed up than normal. Her hair, as result of not being combed through, looked as wide as her shoulders. The freaky thing was...it seemed to lie that way NATURALLY.

"What exactly did I do last night? Where did I go? How long was I gone?" She evenly asked, knuckles white on the edges of the sink.

Sam gave a befuddled look and slowly shook her head. "How should **I **know?? I went back to reading after we got back and not too much later, you left. I called out to you, but you didn't seem to hear me. You were gone for an hour or two I think – I didn't check the times when you came and went. You basically locked yourself in here when you got back. When you came out, I tried to speak to you, but you ignored me."

Her arms were straining under her grip. Her face bled of any emotion, the mirror image copying, as her heart raced. Her face paled as quickly as her emotions changed and her head whirled. 'I don't remember any of that! No way would I do this to myself! I have no reason to! I DIDN'T DO ANY OF THIS!!' She wanted to scream...scream in madness, in helplessness, in anger, in confusion. Instead, she simply peered closer at her hair scrutinizingly.

It was sloppy, but thorough. There were a few lines down the edges of her jaw and ears from contact, but other than that, her head was clean. The color was black, no doubt about that, but it had an interesting blue hue. She could see it in the morning sun, and only when she pulled at a strand to experiment.

Her hair was so dark already it could've been confused for black at times...but that wasn't the point. Her hair was BROWN, not black!! She didn't WANT black hair! She didn't NEED black hair!

'God damn it!!'

"Where's the box at??" She continued, looking to the wastebasket. She didn't wait for Sam and snatched it up, greedily reading the front.

'It's not permanent...I'm okay.'

She had no clue what possessed her to dye her hair, but she was NOT happy. Just like when Sam's brothers intentionally dyed her hair. She didn't think much of herself, but her physical self was nothing to whine over. She was fine with the way she was and didn't really change herself because not much needed changing. Now she was BEING changed without her consent and - needless to say – she was PISSED.

She glared at her reflection, noting it was the same from the dream she stared into when she relived those lives. 'This is going to stop...one way or another. This can't be fucking happening to me!!'

A small wave of dizziness came, rather faint, but still noticeable. She swayed the smallest of degrees, worry threading anger. Brown widened fully at noticing her vision – now identical in every way – meld to an apologetic look.

Sorry I made such a mess... That was my first dye job.

She stepped back, feeling emotions the voice invoked. It was too much and she gladly let it wash over her and force her to pass out.

**Spanish language will be translated under the Japanese when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.**

**Translations: ** "Slowly, he looked into the mirror with frightened eyes. In that mirror, he saw the same man...but there were differences. The eyes that were green, now are brown. And the hair that was brown, now is black.

'Why am I changing?! What are the causes?'

He peered at his eyes, pulling at the skin underneath. He stared at the color for a few minutes. He was VERY confused. En a moment of weakness, he screamed and pulled his hair. He was VERY scared...but he was also angry.

'Why me?! What have I done to deserve this?'"


	52. Ch 52

The color never washed out, to hers and Sam's gross confusion. Well...she wasn't THAT confused as to why her hair never regained its normal color. If anything, the blue tint seemed to intensify a little and she had no clue whether that was from the sun or not.

Her eyes also remained brown. They were a deep chocolate that was very beautiful in its own right, though they weren't hers.

These changes were hard to get used to when she looked in the mirror every morning. She looked at the heavy mane on her back and entertained thoughts of chopping her hair to its original shoulder-length, but something always forcefully pushed that thought away.

Whether intuition or not she didn't know.

It was almost getting out of hand. She pretty much begrudgingly accepted the fact her hair and eyes would never mutate back. Anyone looking at her would've thought she was going through a phase, but she knew better. If this was a stage, it wasn't her doing.

Not with the other dreams she had.

They came more and more and were from the second girl's life. She saw the girl from the first life there on occasion, but the view wasn't split as it was the primary viewing.

She watched them all, trying to find meaning. Some of them seemed important and many had interesting – occasionally crucial – things happen.

Her dreams revolved around this one small group this girl traveled with. She could tell the relationship to each by sensing the emotions when the girl looked to an individual. She felt them as if they were her own and it was too baffling to understand.

Her life had gone topsy-turvy in such a short amount of time it was amazing to imagine the dull routine she once held. She barely daydreamed the routines performed, or the lack emotions felt anymore.

When sleeping, she experienced many of the emotions sensed from the girl, which wasn't anything important. But during the day, she felt compelled to act them out. Something inside told her not to be so cold and show more...and she did without thought half the time.

Part of her wanted to scream to the world her troubles, to get this out and tell someone of the hysteria in her mind. But the other half – for some screwed up reason – didn't think this was anything bad.

There was almost a sense of déjà vu and THAT was screwed up!

Her hand dropped the pencil into the textbook and moved to massage her shoulder. It was aching lately and she didn't know what to do to get it gone. She tried soaking it in hot water - not a good thing with fall temperatures somewhere in the seventies - and enlisted ice packs to shrink the muscles.

Nothing was working.

She kept taking pain killers for it, but those had little to no effect...course simple aspirin wasn't going to help with something like this.

She figured during a spell or bad sleeping position, she might've dislocated it, but the pain came and went. She had full rotation of the joint and the spot seemed to burn when most intense.

It kept her up at night until she was too tired to stand it and drifted to sleep not of her own violation. The dreams occasionally accompanied that pain, which she figured hurt during her slumber too.

As odd as her missing sleep was, she didn't lack energy during the day. That was a small perk for she was still deep into fall classes and had tests and homework to do. She couldn't afford to be slacking off.

She rotated her arm in experimentation, cringing a little at the lingering pain, working on ignoring it again. She had to finish this chapter, as she was ten pages behind in notes.

That wouldn't have been possible for a bookworm like her if all this hadn't happened. If anything, she would've been ten pages AHEAD.

She was so annoyed at being behind and the odd part was, even if ten pages weren't that big a deal, it seemed inexcusable. The idea of being far behind to grossly far behind wasn't an option.

She had no idea what drove her to think that way.

She was always on top of homework ever since she had it. It was something to focus on and an out from life. That notion was still there, though she had an odd inclination during some part of her life she was so far behind to the point of failing.

When she couldn't remember, but that nagging theory persisted.

The ache hadn't settled five pages later and she decided enough was enough. Pushing back the chair, she dropped the mechanical pencil in the spine and left her books open. She made for the kitchen and another ice pack, hoping to numb her shoulder from cold instead of pain.

She draped it over the muscle, feeling the effects on bare skin. She yelped and grit her teeth, knowing direct contact helped more than wrapping it in a towel.

Her bed sounded really good right now and a nap sounded better. She headed upstairs and plopped onto the mattress. A hand moved the pad a few inches lower to be directly over the wound and stared at the ceiling. Her eyes drifted low and remained closed for a few minutes until her head lolled to the side.

_She saw this battle before, but it wasn't as detailed as she was watching now. It was still through someone else's eyes, but emotions and physical details were there more than the first time._

_The other girl to the group was angry at this man, positively enraged. She knew of the reason, but right now it was out of grasp. A large weapon the size of her body was cause for a few questions – like how the hell a girl a few inches taller than herself could lift something that looked so heavy??_

_The boy with raven hair had a suspicious, radical power that tickled recognition in her brain. She watched some kind of suction come from his hand before the view turned and she lost it. Using this dream girl for answers, she could feel a great power coming from him. He could've been a sorcerer or warlock with that much!_

_Of the young redhead boy she gained the impression of fierce protection toward. Noting the infant size was easy to see why, but watching him try to fight against the enemy in question was misleading to his innocence. There was determination and a weak power there...two things she knew could develop given time._

_The adorable cat viewed in the first dream was now the size of a large horse and she mentally balked at that. There was no fear or confusion from the host, and she theorized the different size was normal. Fire came from its paws and tails – two tails, how strange! – and it looked incredibly fearsome at this moment._

_The other boy, the one most of this girl's emotions went to, fought harder than the rest. She avidly watched when the view was stable, taking in the hatred and rage in his eyes._

_What did he have to be so angry over? What did this enemy, surrounded by a small group of lackeys, do to him to make him so?_

_She sifted through the girl's emotions, feeling a spectator in this dream, and touched a good amount of anger, determination, worry, and...LOVE?_

_So this girl was in love with someone...and judging from the worry that flared with the white-haired boy, she was betting it was him._

_She was taken aback when catching a glimpse at his eyes, surprised yet again._

_They were the gold set she saw so often in her dreams. She peered at his visage when able and saw shaggy bangs that covered the eyes._

_This was the same boy!_

_The battle raged on, voices taunting and angry. Magic was thrown out, along with weapons. She wondered about this girl's position in this battle, as she was off to the sidelines half the time or being scooped up by the boy and taken to safety._

_At least until a weight on a shoulder was noticed and suddenly an arrow was notched in her sight._

_She was astounded at the flare of power – mostly for being able to sense it – and watched a pink light shoot from the thin arrow and embedded itself into some tentacle thing heading for one of the friends._

_This girl was an archer, just like the first. And a rather good archer by the scream of pain and Japanese that filtered her ears. She compiled this with everything else to compare and contrast later on._

_First the split vision between the two and now the archery. She had to admit, they had the same eye color and shade of hair – right down to the blue tint._

_And she looked like this girl whose life she was viewing...did that mean the two looked alike too??_

_She never saw the first girl until the vision split and the two were together. This girl seemed to harbor resentment, sadness, and a little irritation to the other._

_She also remembered they looked fairly similar despite skin tone, hair length, and clothing._

_So what did that mean for her then? If she looked like this girl – not of her own violation – did that mean they were together somehow? And did that mean she was together with the other girl too? Were they connected in a way?_

_But...this was just a dream. Albeit an ongoing, familiar-looking dream, it was still a dream. She knew she was asleep right now because, oddly enough, remembered lying on her back in her room. Why she was conscious of that right now didn't seem all that irregular, as she knew some people were aware they were dreaming. She could even feel the cold compress just below her collarbone._

_A sudden, rather bad jolt of pain rose and she cringed against it. She paid attention to the view and was shocked at seeing one of those tentacle things rammed where her shoulder burned earlier._

_WHAT THE HELL!?_

_The bow and arrow in the girl's hand dropped as she fell to her knees. The view shifted at the cries from the others and she hazily took in their cries of alarm and fear._

_She didn't need to know the feel of the liquid sliding over the girl's body to know it was blood. It felt creepy and this was the part she wanted to wake up._

_The sting was incredible. It shot through her arms, down her left leg, and invaded her head. It created the worst migraine behind her eyes and throbbing of her temples. It burned the same way her shoulder did and she wondered about this._

_The extraction was even more painful than the insertion. More blood flowed as the view was strictly on the boy and his sword. It changed to some kind of crystal and diamond shards came from an odd attack he shouted out. The girl's weapon and the other boy's magic added simultaneously, giving the main enemy no way out._

_With that body destroyed she thought it was over...but to one side was some little girl in white holding a child. It was impossible to think the infant hers, as they looked to be near the same age._

_Another diamond blast went toward the two children, destroying both._

_There was another young, rather evil-looking boy off to one side that gripped his chest and fell...though he was never touched._

_In the end, they were all destroyed._

_The girl with red eyes left almost immediately after it was assured the enemies were dead. She wondered why the menacing-looking girl didn't go as well, but she flew away with some sudden wind and made it impossible to touch._

_As the others ran to her, she noticed the girl of their group cast an undecided look her way before heading in the direction of the slaughter. As the two boys crowded her vision, she peeked in between them and saw the girl clutch a young boy to her, cradling him almost mournfully._

_There was sadness at that, and she assumed the boy to be dead. He brought some recollection, but she couldn't recall it._

_Not much could be brought forth in memory due to pain clouding her senses and vision._

_Hands covered both sides of the wound, but she barely felt it. The area was numbed drastically and cold to boot._

_Definitely a bad sign._

_Worried Japanese sprouted in her ears, but she didn't comprehend it. She knew she should've known what they were saying – having spent enough time at Inaki's, but it wasn't translating well enough. She felt she knew what was being said, but couldn't grasp it right now._

_Everyone crowded around in a few seconds, showing identical gazes of extreme fear and worry. Though a great battle had been fought, and apparently won, there was no happiness._

_This wound was too great, and she knew by taking a peek when the vision was on the sight. It was low enough to hit a few ribs and the top part of a lung...probably shoving one of the ribs into a lung and puncturing it. It was close enough to the sternum to possibly crack or break it. The fact that it exited clean out the back didn't help for any possibility of healing._

_The girl apparently knew this._

_The boy's face filled her vision. Gold that seemed to care for nothing now showed so many emotions directed to this girl. She felt sorrow and love in return and her wariness peaked._

_This girl knew she was going to die._

_It didn't seem fair and she felt the same way when she watched this the first time. These two were apparently very much in love – as she saw from their time together in past dreams – and deserved to be together._

_Didn't everyone earn that chance?_

---

_Blackness ate her vision rather rapidly and all was total dark. She looked around, feeling like crying for the poor girl. So young and cut down so soon..._

_Do you remember now?_

_She jumped and whirled around. The feeling of not being alone shot a shiver up her spine. She turned a full circle a few times, finally noticing a small speck of soft light a ways away. The curiosity to see what it was propelled her forward until she circled it._

_A simple, floor-length mirror was in front of her...the girl – no HER – staring back at her._

_Did any of that seem familiar?_

_She shook a little, watching her lips move. The voice was the one heard in her waking hours and she longed to wake, still fully aware she was dreaming._

_The face turned annoyed. You were never a coward before! What happened to that strength I saw in her? Where did you put that??_

_She was confused, but indignation sparked said strength to life. Her chin rose as she glared. "I have no clue what you're talking about...but you're the one that's screwing up my life aren't you??"_

_The image sighed and looked put out. It's not easy, but I know – I've been through this before._

_"What do you WANT with me?! Isn't it enough you changed my looks?? Now you have to make me crazy too?!" She screeched, fists clenching._

_Maa, maa. Hands waved as if to do that for the girl. Contrite eyes stared when they lowered. Yes I've done all that to you. I didn't have a right without asking... But you even said yourself, I was cut down too soon. Tears formed in sad brown eyes. I...I DO wish I could've had more time with him, but my carelessness got me that wound._

_She wanted to feel sympathy, but here was the whole reason she was not herself and it was time to dish out some wrath. "YOU'RE the reason my shoulder's hurting, aren't you??"_

_Brown lowered, a small nod given. Unfortunately...yes. I wouldn't want you to relive that, but it's a side effect with everything coming back to you._

_"Coming...back..." She mumbled, stupidly blinking._

_The girl heaved a sigh, the put out look returning. If you were more educated, this would be SO much simpler..._

_She threw a look that said she was not amused in the slightest._

_The bridge between you and me is crumbling. Soon it will be gone entirely and you'll know everything. What you saw is fragments. They won't make sense now and also because you're purposely ignoring them._

_A cold chill of foreboding raced through her veins at those words. "This – this is...just a dream..." She whispered, eyes wide._

_Then why are you conscious of it all? I know you can tell recognition with these. You've done all this before; you just don't want to accept it._

_"I haven't!" She cried. "I'm not Japanese and I certainly don't speak the language! Inaki hasn't taught me and I haven't taken any semesters yet!"_

_You ARE. It's just being translated in your mind as English. I don't understand a lot of English myself, but you've given me total comprehension because you learned it. It's the same way with you and Japanese._

_"Iie, atashi – " A hand slapped over her mouth, eyes impossibly wide. "Nihonjin o shitteru?? How is that possible?!" Her brow furrowed. "English now??"_

_You are only slipping languages because you don't believe. If you accept that you know Japanese, your mind will be in direct path with mine. The more you block me out, the worse it'll get._

_"That doesn't make sense. I'm speaking in English, not Japanese! What the hell was that bit...and why did I understand it??"_

_The girl's eyes showed her annoyance in the way they seemed to flatten. You're almost denser than he is! But...that's to be supposed with the merging I guess..._

_Her brow rose. "Merging?"_

_It's too complicated for you to grasp. You wouldn't understand if you can't even empathize all I've shown you. The girl's arms crossed, exasperation continuing. You are more hard-headed than she ever was!_

_"She?"_

_Brown looked down again, an indescribable emotion there. Kikyou._

_The name was like a chain reaction, same as the jewel. A hand clutched her head as pain filled it. Memories burst, more than what she saw from that first girl's life. These were her own, she KNEW they were!_

_Anger._

_Resignation._

_Determination._

_Love._

_Death._

_An arrow._

_Kaede._

_Fire._

_Miko._

_Naraku..._

_Bleary brown opened, her body feeling as if it weighted a ton. She was exhausted and took a few deep breaths to calm down._

_"That...was..."_

_Kikyou's memories. Not pleasant are they?_

_"That first girl! Those were hers!"_

_Yours. Yours and hers. But they're still yours._

_Her mind whirled at a rapid pace, trying to make sense of it all. "You were in some of them. You two are...the same...how is that possible??"_

_The girl seemed to bristle, almost offended. I'm NOT Kikyou! She shouted. I had to explain it to him and I have to explain it to you! How many times am I going to keep repeating myself??_

_"But you said I'M her?? How does that differ from you and her...and me and you?"_

_The girl blinked before heaving a sigh. Very true. I like to ignore the obvious, but you make a valid point._

_"Which is?"_

_I'm Kikyou. You're Kikyou. You're me. I'm you. And Kikyou is also you._

_She stared. "Could you speak in less riddles and more facts? My head hurts enough as it is."_

_Brown rolled. It's not that hard to figure out! Mataku baka!_

_"Hey!" She shouted, scowling._

_I'll explain questions, but I'm not teaching you EVERYTHING. I didn't get anything taught to me and if you bother sifting through MY memories for a change, you'll know some of the answers on your own. That or read up on the topic! You did a long time ago, but you scoffed the ideas. Don't be so quick to judge something you can't see!_

_The scowl deepened, though the girl was right. She knew what the girl mentioned, but she was going to have to do some more research._

_"This is so confusing though..." She nearly whined, feeling her shoulder start to burn again._

_It's only because you've never thought about this before. Once you look this stuff up, it'll make sense to you. The girl's irritation shifted as wariness entered a little. Your...shoulder..._

_She rotated said appendage, wincing a little. "Yea...it kinda hurts." Her gaze went the hand covering it. "I had an ice pack on it...but I guess you'd know wouldn't...you..."_

_The girl – who had on a pristine, white sailor's shirt – was now halfway stained in her own blood...a few inch wide hole glaring at her._

_For her credit, the girl showed no pain. She did look a little worried though. This is not good, this is SO not good!_

_"WHAT?" A worse twinge grabbed her attention again. "Itai! That hurts!! What the hell are you doing to me??"_

_I'm not doing anything! Like I said, this is a side effect...I'VE got nothing to with it! I wish it didn't turn out like this, but it is. I don't know what to do to help you though. You're stuck._

_"Stuck?! What do you MEAN stuck?? I can't keep feeling this pain!" The hand clutching her shoulder tightened. The sensation in her left hand was fading. She glared. "You're in charge here – stop this!"_

_Her twin's left hand rose, streaks of blood lining the fingers. I CAN'T! How many times am I going to have to say that?? When you viewed the last battle, you got the blow too! I can't stop that – I'm not that powerful._

_Her eyes were hurting as pain made them tingle. Up to her elbow was numb and her left foot was starting to get the same way. She looked at the sight again, expecting blood, and seeing none. "Why...I don't...get it..."_

_Her right lifted off the shoulder to grab her twin, desperate for anything at this point. Shaking fingers neared the mirror, but instead of touching cool glass...went right through it._

_The surface rippled and the girl's vision distorted._

_She tilted, getting the sensation of falling...though there was no up or down in such pitch. Her heart pounded in her ears, mixing with ringing. Above all that, she heard the barest of comforting whispers._

_Gomen..._

It took a few days to find the book report, as she had it filed away with all the textbooks in her bin. In any good paper, one added a complete bibliography to get a good grade...but that helped more than she thought. It allowed her to find the same book in the library and, from a bit of good luck and fate, it wasn't checked out.

_"Why don't we remember our past lives? We do remember! The recognition of friends and familiar places, our particular interests, talents, convictions, and prejudices are our soul's remembrance. Details of the past slip away as they do in this life. Platonists assure us, however, that through discipline and persistence we can develop our higher faculties and attain that 'mystical insight' that enables us to see what was and what will be. It is simply a matter of recollection._

_'The soul then, as being immortal, and having been born many times, having seen all things that exist - whether in this world or in the world below - has knowledge of them all. It is no wonder that she should be able to call to remembrance all she ever knew about virtue, and about everything. As all nature is akin and the soul has learned all things, there is no difficulty in her eliciting - or as men say learning - out of a single recollection all the rest, if a man is strenuous and does not faint. For all inquiry and all learning is but recollection.'—Plato"_

That little recap spurred her to find other books, mostly in Japanese thought and rebirth.

_"Through training our mind in meditation, we can eventually develop a profound level of concentration and we shall then be able to verify the truth of rebirth through our own experience. Until then, however, the only way we can understand rebirth is to rely on reasons such as those presented in Buddha's teachings. _

_If we believe Buddha's teachings on rebirth and act in accordance with the law of karma, gradually our mental capacity will increase until eventually we shall directly perceive our past and future lives. But, if we stubbornly deny the existence of reincarnation and karma we shall not make the effort to train our mind and so we shall never know rebirth through our own experience."_

_-----_

_"You believe in this stuff K?"_

_Her nose wrinkled and she sighed. "Not a bit. But then, I don't really believe in any of those gods I hear so much about in any religion, and that all comes with it I guess."_

_"That's the problem with youth. You don't believe anything you can't see."_

_"It's not that I don't believe what's in front of me. But how can one person be someone else after they die? Do you know what that means...scientifically? There would be no new souls on this earth; everyone would just keep cycling into new lives after they die and this world would be comprised of nothing but the same people for thousands of years."_

Those were her own words. But now, with all that happened in one year, she had to think of them in a different light.

She knew the general principles of heaven and hell, as Sam was Catholic. The girl wasn't devout, but the love for god was there and she often heard a few things from Missy when at the Merth household.

Her words seemed pretty technical at the time. How COULD one person be someone else after they died? How and when would they be reborn? What kind of life would they have? Why didn't they remember anything from the other?

You know...you're reading too much into this...

She gasped and vertigo hit. It was thankfully mild, but instead of the world shaking, the view of the library changed entirely.

_"I will take the Shikon no Tama to the other world."_

_"You have it don't you. I won't let you go...Shikon no Tama..."_

_"You resemble...Kikyou-oneesama...."_

_'From inside of me!?'_

_"As I thought, she had it hidden in her body."_

The jumble of images and different voices receded. The hands covering her face loosened a bit, mostly because the twinge in her shoulder returned.

Her fingers peeked open as she ventured a glance, and found a few people staring at her in wonder. She went beet red in question at what she might've said and fixed her glance at the pages.

'I saw those things before. I know I did! They were from that second girl's life...'

And Kikyou's. The first voice you heard was Kikyou's.

'GET OUT OF MY HEAD!'

There was a distinct feeling of irritation. You're me and I'm you! I CAN'T and I won't!

Tears pricked her eyes. 'Why won't you just go away and leave me in peace?? What did I do to deserve this??'

You didn't do anything. You were merely born like this. If you'd accept me, you'd be a complete person.

More riddles...

This was more agonizing than it needed to be. She was doing way more thinking than wanted.

She didn't want to review all this. It wasn't important in her mind when she was given the topic so long ago. It was ridiculous back then.

She had the biggest urge to sit there and cry her heart out. She hadn't shed a tear since this happened, even if fear ran rampant ever since.

'I just want my old life back! Why do I have to go through all this?!'

Thankfully, there was no comment. Did her suffering spark compassion in the voice to leave her alone for a while?

_"It's already been two days since I came here. Somehow...I've got to go home..."_

There was the same thread of worry and fear in that hesitant memory. Sounds and smells returned as the recollection passed.

You're not alone in your thoughts. Traipse through my memories – you know you've gone through this before.

She felt helpless. How did someone beat back a presence in their mind?? 'Please...go away...'

A tear started spilling over her lashes and, mortified someone would see, she swiped it away. She came to stark reality with that and knew here wasn't the place to delve through this mess.

'I don't want to be someone else just because they want me to concede my body and mind!' Anger sparked in jealous possession of the only things she really had as she stood and made to put the books away. 'I may not have much or be much in my life, but it's MINE! I don't want to let someone else be in control of me again...doing things to me that I wouldn't consent to...'

She nearly stomped outside by the time she was done. The information was a help to some of what she was told and she learned a lot, but rejected it.

'I will NOT be ruled!!'

The presence in her mind made itself known, probably to make another comment, but she stopped and brown squeezed shut. She concentrated on finding the thing in her head and mentally shoved it away as much as possible.

There was a cry of surprise before all was silent and the only thing in her ears was the wind of this world.

She gained a rather large, perverted sense of satisfaction at feeling more like herself and the only person in her body. An almost evil smile tipped her lips as she started off, feeling more confident than when inside.

Her shoulder was still in pain during the ride home, but an odd thing happened that never had before.

It itched.

Before, it always burned with growing intensity which took a while to fade. The notion of this was odd, but she couldn't help the urge to scratch. She was currently doing so and trying to click the lock to her bike, which was rather difficult.

She didn't want to stop just to make sure her trusty ride was safe and sound. She had a feeling the sight wouldn't be appeased for even a few seconds.

This had to be as bad as hives, even if she never had hives. Chicken pox or something...though she never had that either. She worked the lock with both hands, having to scratch harder to get the prickling to go back to a lower level.

She headed to the bathroom, finding Sam's door open and the girl sitting on the floor. She was going to stop and ask what her friend was doing on the floor, but this was more important.

She pulled the tank top's strap aside and turned toward the afternoon sunlight, craning her head to her collarbone.

Brown widened in shock.

There was some kind of horrific scar and it was a rather angry red. It looked about the size of a dollar coin.

This was unquestionably scar tissue, and looked old...very old. Like she got the wound, it healed, and now she was stuck with it.

She wondered where the ants-crawling-on-skin sensation was coming from if it was this age. She headed for another ice pack, knowing cold would take the burning down some, and hopefully get some of the red gone.

Perhaps it was the tissue itself that was so bothersome. She knew over time scars, when the skin stretched in growth, could have this happen. But, she never got into such things as broken bones or scars – definitely not anything like this! – in her life.

She reached to open the freezer with her left hand, as she still couldn't remove nails from their task, and an incredible twinge of pain nearly dropped her. She hissed at it and made her arm immobile, pressing it against her side.

THIS was new...

There had never been THAT kind of pain before...just a burning sensation, as if her shoulder was on fire.

She shuffled for a chair and plopped down, hunching over. She forced nails to stop irritating the skin, as it was probably attributing to the redness, and settled for rubbing the pads of her fingers over it. Contact seemed to be needed or it would get out of hand.

Her heart thundered in her ears. Brown squeezed shut as she tried to keep taking deep breaths. She beat this before through strength of will, she could do it again.

A drum of lightheadedness gained force and irritation rose. 'What do you want now?' She bit out.

Stop shutting me out! Came the weak retort.

She didn't reply, trying to save energy, when the phone suddenly rang. She didn't want to get up to get it, but if she didn't, Sam would come downstairs and see her like this. Worrying the poor girl wasn't part of her agenda.

She grabbed it with her right hand, not wanting to chance another fridge incident, and cradled it in her healthy shoulder as much as possible. "Hello?"

"Long time no talk."

She blinked, momentarily at a loss for words. All movement ceased. "Inaki...hey..."

There was a small, almost stunned pause on the other end. "Is that all you've got to say?" He nearly retorted. "You haven't called or written in a month! I was worried – especially what happened when you were over here!"

She leaned against the wall, trying not to touch either shoulder in fear of pain or dropping the phone. Her brow furrowed, hardly hearing to him as the other mind seemed to be listening, making her rather wary. "I thought...we were past the letter stage by now..." She muttered.

There was another small pause. "You okay? You sound odd."

"What...makes you say that?"

"Because you can't say an entire sentence without pausing. What's going on??"

She tried to swallow and found her mouth dry. This was the last person she wanted to have concerned for her welfare. He had been so caring and fretful in the beginning and now that they were dating, she wanted him to see her and not her problems.

A sense of shock and elation surged through her, but it wasn't her own.

I - I don't...believe it... That's him! He's alive! He's here!!

She added exasperation to the happy emotions, ignoring the device on her shoulder. 'What are you talking about?? You have yet to see Inaki except for my memories.'

I don't need to see him to know him. Came the proud response. When you're in love with someone, you can pick them out of a crowded room.

More riddles! She would've found some way to do bodily harm if this was a different person. 'Stop being so damn frustrating! Why can't you spit it out?!'

The elation dimmed to a sense of pouting, but resignation. You wouldn't know who I'm talking about, even though you've seen his other form. If you'd pay attention and not shut me out so you could understand the words of my memories, you'd know. This voice is Inuyasha's!

"Inu...yasha?"

"WHAT did you say??"

She startled and nearly dropped the phone.

Her teeth clenched at the jostle to her injury. That didn't do it any good and even the touch of her fingers wasn't soothing it anymore. She moved for the fridge again, unable to anything but cover it with her hand in fragile hopes it would do some good.

"Did you just speak in Japanese?? Where did you pick that up K?? I haven't taught you. Are you taking classes?"

How did she answer that? She didn't want to lie, but if she did, he would want details and she couldn't provide anything by creating more lies.

She ventured removing her palm and the sting wasn't happy about that. She cringed and yanked the freezer door open. "No...I - I don't know. It kind of...came to me..."

Draping the compact over the muscle seemed to have little effect. She yelped at the direct contact, unable to hide it.

"What ARE you doing over there? Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm...fine..." She grit out. Her head was starting to spin and although all the blood was rushing to the arm at her side, she couldn't feel it. "I...just – I'm kind of having a bad time..."

Let me talk to him! PLEASE give me control!!

'NO! If you think I'm going to let him think I've gone total Schizoid, YOU'RE crazy!'

But...he's the reason why I awakened! I've waited so long to see him. Please – I HAVE to let him know I'm okay!

'He won't recognize you!' She retorted, hearing Inaki talking in her ear. She was trying to concentrate on two different voices, one confused and the other pleading. It was tearing her patience to threads and aggravating her. The pain in her shoulder, which wasn't lessening with the aid, was not helping any.

I've seen him in your memories and I know his forms. You've seen his human side – he's still himself!

'Whoever the hell you're talking about I wouldn't know. And this guy is NOT Inuyasha.' She insisted. 'Even if you think he's some guy from your life, he couldn't be. Didn't you say yourself the bridges between us were crumbling? Do you expect him to be someone else like you're trying to make me be??'

There was a thread of silence from the voice, even if Inaki's turned insistent at her ignoring him.

Maybe...maybe I can jog his memory with my voice. Yours is close, but still not mine. I would get my own voice back if you would just let me have control –

"NO!" She shouted.

Silence prevailed on both sides. "K? What was that?"

Great...that was spoken out loud...and rather noisily at that.

"K?? You okay down there?"

Brown ventured in the vicinity of the upstairs, but Sam wasn't in sight.

She couldn't think with two people badgering her for answers and the concern of her roommate looming ever-present.

He woke me up when you two were... There was embarrassment, but she forced herself from feeling it. That was the gap that needed to be linked. He woke me up...he needs me! Let me back to him!

"Kalie...come on babe, talk to me!"

"Hey chica...you still downstairs?"

Footsteps sounded and a thread of dread hit. That was all she needed was Sam to see her talking to Inaki and the voice in her head.

That'd go over REAL well.

'Mental asylum here I come...' She retorted.

Her free hand gripped her head. It was starting to ache as result of the wound, along with her neck, torso, arms, and legs. Her hand was entirely numb and a quick glance found it paler than usual despite it hanging in the air. Her toes were tingling in foreboding of becoming as dead as her hand.

She needed some time to lie down, take a few deep breaths, and get everyone to stop crowding her. She couldn't deal with so much at once!

"Chica...you look like crap you know that?"

"Kalie you're scaring me – come on now!"

I'll take control if I have to!

Fingers gripped black and pulled in anger. The thread to her patience snapped.

"Shut up!! ALL of you – fucking shut up and leave me ALONE!!"

There was a deathly stillness. She let the cordless drop from her shoulder and clack to the floor. Fatigue swept through her in a wave, and she nearly slid out of the chair.

The voice was irked, and the vertigo seemed to show it. She swayed a little, feeling the urge to pass out before she was sick.

"God chica – what's the matter with you??" Sam rushed over and hands touched her shoulders, which did more harm than good.

She shouted in pain and jerked away, off-balancing and falling from the chair. She landed on her back and pain exploded. Spots danced behind her eyes and she gasped. Tears of agony clouded her eyes and clung to her lashes.

She rolled to her stomach, hand gripping her shoulder as if to contain the sting. A fire seemed to burn throughout her entire body, that being the core. She whimpered against it, ignoring Sam's worried voice and the shouts of Inaki inches away.

Her body scrunched up as if to protect her. The presence in her mind was a little worried as well, though it didn't comfort her. If anything, the other mind had this same wound and knew what would happen. The girl being worried did nothing for her stress levels.

"Oh my god Kalie! What did you do to your shoulder?! Let go – you have to let go!!"

Something graced her fingers and tickled the hairs on her arm as it slid down. Brown peeked open as hands tried to pry hers away from the sight and widened at what she saw.

There was a gaping hole in her shoulder. Her fingers edged in when the skin broke and blood was pouring onto them.

Her entire left arm was now numb, and she couldn't feel her feet. Her gut was churning and she felt like she was going to be sick...if she had the strength to be. The world seemed fuzzy and not just because she was staring at opaque linoleum either.

"Kono itami wa..." She brokenly whispered.

Silence abounded from above as she was gently turned. Thankfully nothing poured out the back, which didn't make sense.

'It was both front and back. It should be bleeding from both...' She idly thought, hazy eyes staring at the ceiling light.

"God Kalie! What happened?!"

She could tell her friend was distraught and her good hand rose to touch the girl. "Sam-chan...shimpai shinai... Genki da..."

Sam snatched up the phone and pressed the on button, but a voice on the end stopped her as she tried to mindlessly dial 9-1-1.

"What the hell is going on over there?!"

"INAKI?? Oh god it's horrible! K's hurt! Hang up the phone so I can call the paramedics!!"

"WHAT?!" Brown widened to the point of pain. "What happened? How did she hurt herself?! Is she okay??"

"I don't know!" Sam yelled, eyes tearing over. "Get off this damn line! I need it or she won't be helped by any of us!!"

Sam pressed off, hoping the idiot would take the hint and heard the dial tone. She pressed the three numbers, feeling a small measure of relief to get a connection through. "Hello?? I need an ambulance right away! My friend is bleeding like crazy from a hole in her shoulder!"

"Calm down miss...we'll send someone right away, but we need to get your address."

"God hurry! I don't know if she'll make it!!"

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Maa, maa-Kind of like calm down Iie, atashi-No, I Nihonjin o shitteru?-I know Japanese? Oneesama-Formal way of saying older sister Shikon no Tama-Jewel of four souls

Kono itami wa-This pain is


	53. Ch 53

It took all of a second for the shock to wear off and his body to spring to action.

He twisted and let the phone hover for all of half a second before it crashed to the ground and the battery cover fell off.

"Ototo! Don't handle such things so poorly! Oi, where are you going??"

"OUT!" He snapped, barely managing to get the keys on the first try. He didn't even lock the door and almost forgot to grab his sandals before rocketing it to the car. In a matter of seconds, he had the engine started and the car peeling down the street.

He wasn't mad at Jayden, but she was a good convenience to take his anger out on. He would have to apologize later...as soon as his heart slowed to its normal pace and the adrenaline let him think clearly.

K was injured?! When did that happen?? How?? With what??

Knuckles gripped the wheel as he accelerated to dangerous proportions and swept past everyone on the highway. 'I wouldn't fucking know what's going on because she basically IGNORED me all month!'

He didn't know why she hadn't called or wrote, but if she needed space he couldn't deny it. He gave it a week before the need to know she was discounting him for a reason made him pick the phone up and start dialing the number.

He wrote a few letters, but always tore them up and threw them away. It was his only way of coping with the urge to drive down and see her in person.

He did nothing but wonder and worry. What was she doing all that time?? School COULDN'T be taking up that much attention because she saw him when she had a worse schedule. His jaw clenched as some rather horrid theories ran through his head. The pedal was practically on the floor and several times he almost rear-ended some poor driver who was in his way.

He would not be satisfied until he saw for himself K was healthy and able to talk to him. He wasn't going to let her get away with no contact all this time. He was her boyfriend damn it! That merited more than silence! Not even a letter. He could see the lack of calls if only she wrote. Whatever was going on in Miami had taken up her life and shoved him out of the picture. He didn't like that. She was such a part of his life now; it rubbed him the wrong way to think she didn't think the same.

Kalie was so precious to him. All the words of devotion he spoke in the past were true and most of them the first words he ever told a girl. To be cut off after telling something so special wasn't supposed to happen.

He felt a lot when it came to her. Just thinking about her at work evoked so much. He could picture her clearly...soft brown hair, emerald green eyes, soft smile, lithe body... At times, everything almost became too much. There was a plethora of emotion and no K around to tell or show that it nearly robbed him of the ability to speak. To know she was injured in ANY way set off a protective side that was worse than anything he ever knew.

He never did like living so far away, but they had no problem with it being mildly long distance. As long as one of them had a ride, they were fine...one could go to the other. Now, a simple forty miles seemed ten times as long.

Why was it when something detrimental occurred you were never there fast enough to help?

He scowled and spied a quick look to the odometer and his eyes widened. Brown shot to the road as he came dangerously close to another rear-end and veered into the other lane. He weighed letting off at least five miles, but that might cost him. Regard for the speed limit might lose him that precious time to be at K's side to comfort her and reassure she was okay.

He might've been a little paranoid and overbearing, but the panic in Sam's voice told him this was no small potatoes.

-----

A mile outside Miami he came across a roadblock, thankfully not a literal one.

Just WHICH hospital was K being transported to?!

He loudly swore and decked the steering wheel in frustration, not willing to drive to every hospital in the city. He didn't have that kind of time and patience wasn't going to allow it. 'Think Yamoi!' He ordered, entering the city. 'What's the closest hospital??' The only problem was...he didn't know that.

"This is fucking great..." The hand came down on the wheel again as he made a sudden turn into the nearest gas station and slammed the car door. He yanked the glass door open and approached the counter, trying to take a few breaths.

Scaring the attendant – or making her think he was a robber – wouldn't do him any good in getting information. "I need some help. Do you have a phone book and a phone I can use?"

The girl must've been convinced by his appearance because she handed both over without more than affirmation.

He flipped to the hospitals and wanted to bang his head on the counter in exasperation at the list. He scanned the few dozen in distance from the house and found three. Thankful for such a small number, he dialed the first one and got a negative response when asking if K was admitted.

The second one, luckily, kept him from wasting anymore time.

Asking for a pen and paper, he wrote down the address, vowing to get information when he arrived. Tossing a quick thanks to the girl, he ran back to the car and tried not to drive to the hospital in the same manner that got him here. If only he had another stretch of highway...

"COME ON ALREADY - MOVE!" He shouted, teeth grit to pain proportions. "Fucking traffic...this is bullshit!"

The main roads had fewer lights, but everyone was traveling them for that reason apparently. If he tried to go through residential and out-drive everyone, he might end up getting lost and / or take even longer. Speed was of the essence. He would NOT be satisfied until he got there – preferably at a few knots – and strangled information from the nearest nurse.

The building was in sight from the top of the hill and it spurred him on. He cut half a dozen people off weaving around cars, ignoring the horns sounding in their wake. Parking in a handicapped spot and getting it towed wasn't on the agenda, so he forced to take a deep breath for patience to find a legal spot. He wasn't THAT blockheaded.

The spot he finally snagged seemed blocks away, though that was an exaggeration right now. He laced around cars and skipped steps up the main entrance. He was forced to skid to a stop less he bowl over some pregnant woman working her way outside. A quick apology and he shoved his way inside, spotting the front desk. He made a beeline for it and roped in irritation at being made to wait while the nurse was on the phone.

He spied a quick look to the waiting room, hoping there weren't too many people before him. He didn't know how tolerant he could be.

"Can I help you sir?"

Brown jerked back before they could finish looking and focused on the nurse. "I called about Kalie Himmen. I was told she was admitted to this hospital. I need to know what's going on."

The nurse wheeled back to stand and made for a file cabinet. "Are you family?" She asked, giving him a glance and yanking a drawer open.

'Shit.'

What was he going to do now? He knew well only family was allowed access to information of a patient – everybody knew that. Laws haven't changed that and no matter how much he bullshitted his way through, he would be found out.

People probably did this all the time.

His shoulders slumped. "No...I'm not. I'm her boyfriend." Determination hit again. "But, can't you make an exception??"

The drawer slammed close from a push, giving him his answer.

"I'm sorry sir, but only family members are capable of attaining information of a patient. You'll have to wait with the family until a doctor comes, or until general visiting hours."

Hands became fists. "But – but...I can't wait that long! I need to know now! She's not badly hurt is she?!"

"I'm sorry sir; I can't give that information out."

He wanted to jump over the counter and throttle the woman. "All I need to know is if she's okay! That's not any details!"

"Sir please sit down and lower your voice."

He wanted to hit something, preferably the counter. "That's all I'm asking! Just grant me that and I'll get out of your hair!"

"Sir...please don't make me call security and have them escort you out of here."

His jaw clenched. "Please...I'm begging here." Just as the nurse started reaching for a phone, a hand touched an arm and gained his attention. He startled and whirled around, brown lighting on the one person who could save him. "Sam."

Light blue looked to the nurse. "Please don't call security." She quietly asked. "I'll handle this."

The nurse cast a wary glance between the two, but nodded and let them be.

He let Sam drag him from the front desk, seeing he had almost everyone's attention, before pouncing. "Sam what the fuck is going on here?? What's wrong with Kalie?? Have you heard anything yet? Has a doctor come out? When are we - mfphmff!"

When the garbled talk ceased, Sam's hand moved from his lips. She slumped into a chair, watching him follow. "Please keep your voice down, you've attracted enough attention." She murmured.

The fact that this energetic, meddling girl was so soft-spoken and tentative sent wariness through him. He avidly stared, taking in this new look.

Light blue teared as Sam looked to a nearby window, trying to keep composure. "I...a doctor hasn't come out yet." She whispered, teeth biting her lip. Sam was silent for a while, rapidly blinking a few times before gaining the ability to speak again. "I rode in the ambulance because they needed some information, but they steered me in here and Kalie to the O.R."

'Oh gods...'

A hand slowly rose, timidly resting on the girl's shoulder. "Sam..."

That did it. Sam's strength snapped and she whirled. Hands gripped shirt as her face buried in Inaki's chest. "Oh Inaki!" She sobbed. "It was...horrible! There was – was so much...blood! Kalie wasn't making sense...she wasn't even speaking English! I didn't know what to do - I couldn't think!"

Arms went around the girl to comfort her, even if he felt odd doing so. This was K's best friend and it was strange to hold her when what he wanted to do was hold his girlfriend. "Shh Sam...it's okay. Everything will turn out fine." He was a great performer when the need called for it. Comforting women allowed him a silver tongue to lie his head off. He was as worried as she was and didn't know how things would turn out, but SOMEONE had to be the levelheaded one here.

Once Sam was under control, she could help keep HIM under control.

Inaki rubbed her back until the sobs departed. Funny thing was, the few daydreams about being in his arms never encountered anything like this. There was nothing special about it and Sam felt cheap by being in her best friend's boyfriend's arms. Sam slowly pulled away, eyes diverted. "Thanks...I – I needed that." She turned and grabbed a few tissues from the nearest box. "I – I'll be okay now... Don't worry about me. Let's turn our attentions to why we're here."

He sat back, grimly staring down a hallway. "The only problem is...we don't even know what we're here for. Or how long we'll remain."

Sam stood and grabbed a garbage can and dragged it over, knowing she'd need it later. "You know...I never expected to take another trip to the hospital like this. I thought everything was fine."

He startled a little. "Another?? Was she here before? Why didn't she tell me??"

Hands waved to disperse his anxiety. "No, no...it wasn't anything like this. She went to get tests done in Westchester and I went with her."

A raven brow rose. "Tests? For what?"

"Her dizziness."

The other brow rose at the mild bitterness. "From the sounds of things, she never told you about it."

Blue snapped to brown and narrowed. "She told you though..."

He wanted to sweat under that gaze. It was like his mother's when he knew he was caught with something. "Uh...yea..." A finger scratched his shorts. "She got it during –" He stopped. He hadn't told a soul what happened in the kitchen and said it would stay that way. "During the last visit to my house. It was bad enough it made her sick so she couldn't hide them from me."

Sam slouched against the back, arms crossing. "At least she told you some way or another. I found out when the hospital called one day. Scared the shit out of me, but pissed me off. Why would she hide something like that?? Doesn't she trust me at ALL??"

Oh boy...

"I'm sure it's not that." He quickly denied, hands waving. "You know K's a rather private person...she doesn't talk about things in her life. She's never been able to. Those things carry through until you kick that habit." Sam snorted, but nodded in acquiesce. "Besides, she probably didn't want to worry you. She has that tendency as well, one which she needs to get over too. She's probably never had anyone worry over her as much as we do and it's probably unnerving."

"But why wouldn't she tell me about something this serious?? Why didn't she tell me how she got that wound??"

He gave full attention with that. "Tell me about that. Did she get it the past month? How serious is it?"

Sam swallowed, eyes tearing again. "It..." Her face crumbled a little. Fingers clenched around an extra tissue in unease. "It was...awful." She whispered, boring holes in the carpet underfoot. "I don't know how she got that, but I'd never seen it before. It looked so new, but that's ridiculous because she couldn't possibly have such a severe wound and still be up and about."

"What do you mean?"

A hand rose, creating a circle with her thumb and index. "It was at least that big."

Brown widened and his mouth gaped open. "That's...impossible! How could she still be alive if she got that??"

"That's one question I want answered. I haven't heard about anything recently – not that she'd tell me – but she was using an ice pack on that area a lot lately. I think it was this last week actually." Ash swished. "I – I just can't explain it. She was still healthy, and if she bruised it somehow, I would definitely know. It was right here." A finger tapped the area in question.

He watched, eyes narrowed in thought. "That's too close to the heart, lungs, ribs, collarbone, and a number of muscles. If she hit that hard enough to bruise, she'd have issues moving her arm for a while."

Sam looked over, a little stunned. "Since when did YOU take medical classes?"

Brown rolled. "When you take years upon years of martial arts, you get to know the areas of the body. I don't need to know medical terms to be familiar with the structure."

He still had more questions and cut to the chase. The only problem was...some of them Sam couldn't answer – those were reserved for the doctor. When small talk died down and Sam wandered off to get them some coffee for something to do, he looked around as a thought struck.

K's mom wasn't here.

He didn't know if that was purposeful or not, but it was peculiar the woman was absent. He didn't know if Sam kept from calling because it was useless to worry Ella, or knew K wouldn't want her being called...

It seemed strange to not have a higher authority of the like nearby. They were all young adults and times like this made them feel their youth. They were still too easily scared and crumbled under this kind of pressure. A parental figure was a rock in any kind of situation, and Ella would be a useful presence to keep them from unraveling.

By the time the doctor finally came out, the afternoon passed and the sun was almost set. It either took that long for K's surgery to get done or someone was taking a break and making them wait longer.

He was going to be VERY pissed off if the latter was true.

The two watched the person come down the corridor, clipboard in hand, and eyes wandering. He spied a glance at Sam, finding her doing the same a few times, before nodding. She nodded back and the two made their way over. "Are you Kalie Himmen's doctor?" Sam asked. He let her do all the talking, as he didn't know how calm he'd be.

"Yes I am. Are you the one who brought her in?"

"I am. Is she okay? What happened?"

There was a quick scan of the area before they were given the spotlight again. "Is this all the family?"

"Yes." Sam quickly responded. "I'm her sister and he's her cousin."

A hand rested on a shoulder and amazed brown went to the girl. She was a better liar than he ever was! 'Talk about a poker face!' He turned and nodded to the man, allowing the severity of the situation to fit him to the roll.

The doctor looked a little unconvinced at seeing two totally different nationalities from the patient's, but shrugged it off. "Your friend has a rather...interesting wound. I've never seen anything like it. She needed stitches, but that had complications right there. The sight wasn't cut, but it looked like something rammed through the body...except there was no internal damage. We used a skin graph to close the hole, stitched it, and wrapped her up. She needs to be kept a while for observation. There was a lot of blood loss and we needed to do a transfusion."

That news didn't seem very positive in the least. "So...K's okay right? She came through surgery in stable condition?" Sam queried, wringing her hands. There was a nod that relieved them both. As long as surgery went well, everything else could be gotten past.

"Can we see her now?" He asked, feely antsy to run past everyone in search of her room. All he needed was the number, but security would grab him before then, so he enforced tolerance.

They were led down a few hallways, bypassing others in wheelchairs and empty beds dotting the area. He budged his way to the handle, trying to keep from banging the door against the wall after they stopped. What he saw nearly stopped his heart. The breath froze in his lungs and he halted in the doorway, hand clutching the knob in a death grip.

I.V., heart monitor, and a swath of bandages over her chest. The sheet was pulled back enough to keep from resting over the wound and he had an inane urge to cover K up. She didn't like being indecent. To know people – total strangers even! – saw her halfway naked made him a little angry.

"Move aside! Let me in!"

He quickly gained balance at being shoved toward the door and tried not to glare at Sam as she rushed inside. "Oh god, Kalie!"

"I'll come get you when visiting hours are over." He absently nodded and took a few steps in, barely registering when the doctor gently clicked the door closed.

The soft bedside lamps illuminated the room well enough and gave the impression K was merely sleeping with the lights on. The absurdity of that thought hit him like a ton of bricks and his heart clenched, tears coming to his eyes.

'Gods...please let her be okay...' He prayed, inching to the bed. A hand moved and rested over a leg, Sam planted in a nearby chair. His vision swam and her peaceful face wavered. 'I can't bear to have something horrible happen to her. You can't take her away from me now... Onegai Unmei-sama...if you're listening...grant me this one, tiny wish...'

Somehow, legs directed him to the other chair and he pulled it as close as the machines would let him. Sam got the prime location, but he wasn't going to fight her for it. A hand gripped hers, mindful of the I.V. Seeing it and the tape keeping it there didn't do his emotions any good.

The silence was deafening. The sound of breathing, beeping from machines, and his heartbeat were going to make him crazy. They both stared in hopes of being able to see K wake, but he knew they'd be waiting a while. The paleness of her face was not a good sign, and it was going to take time to get her to original health.

As carefully as possible, he brought her hand to his face and gently kissed the knuckles. Tears were in danger of falling over, but he could care less. He turned her hand to cup his cheek, feeling worse when he had to move it to the position he wanted.

'Kalie...don't you dare leave me. You're stuck with me now, you hear me?? I won't let you go! I'm going to help you get better. You're going to beat this, damn it! I won't let you give up. You can't...you can't let this best you! I won't forgive you if you die on me. Gods...you CAN'T die!' Heart full of emotion, he kissed the inside of her wrist, wishing he could say these words to her face. He didn't know if he had the courage, but there was the conviction. 'I'm begging here. If your soul can hear mine, you better listen up! You hear me Kalie?? You're not leaving me! I won't let you. I – I...I love you.'

From somewhere, there was the barest of whispers - what sounded like shouts - and his head lifted, confusion on his features. He mentally shook himself, wondering who was yelling down the hall. The second the quiet returned, an almost sudden rush of wind directly over his ears startled him. That was absurd, as there was no breeze coming from the curtains, there was no fan in here, and he wasn't running. It was only a split second long, but his brows furrowed at it. His vision suddenly blurred as a tiny pain behind his eyes appeared. Brown squeezed shut until he was sure it passed before giving the comatose girl his full attention.

_"Hiraikoutsu!"_

_The boomerang swung at a wide arc, taking out youkai and aiming for Naraku on the return trip._

_An amused smile appeared as he looked to Kagura who created a blast of wind and knocked the weapon off course._

_"Kazaana!"_

_"Pathetic tries houshi." Naraku muttered. Saimyoushou appeared with a simple beckon and headed for Miroku._

_"Iie houshi-sama! Close the Kazaana!"_

_"No choice." The winds suddenly stopped and the shakujou whipped out to take care of the bees._

_"Naraku kisama..." Tessaiga swung in an arc for the hanyou, a kekkai deflecting him. "Keh! You think a puny thing is going to save you??"_

_The fighting seemed to've gone on for a while. She was holding her own, but hesitant to use her arrows because she didn't have an endless supply. Brown eyed Hiraikoutsu out of its master's reach. 'Sango-chan's disabled without Hiraikoutsu. She probably won't be able to hit Naraku with that, but she can take out extra youkai.' Brown slid to her friend and watched the wakizashi deal deathblows at those that dared to come close._

_"Kagome!"_

_She turned toward the light tug to her sleeve. An arrow was notched and released as she spied a youkai trying to sneak up on her. She smiled in direction of her shoulder. "Arigatou Shippou-chan." She cast a look to Kirara nearby, mind whirling. "We need to return Sango-chan's weapon. She can't fight with that sword forever."_

_Shippou looked nervous at the thought of being thrown in the center of the battlefield. He took perch on Kagome's shoulder where it was safe, as Inuyasha ordered her to stay at the edge so Naraku couldn't reach her as easily. If he did, he might target her specifically because she was one of the few who could kill him and the offspring. But he knew Sango couldn't use such a short sword to kill big youkai with. He nodded and green twisted. "Yosh. Kirara!"_

_The nekoyoukai's teeth bit through the last youkai before flying over. The two mounted and she took off, dodging enemies. She let a few arrows fly to those that got in range before shouldering her bow. A hand grabbed fur as she leaned, hoping not to pull too hard, and the other made to snatch the tie at the end._

_She missed the first and forced Kirara to circle around. She wasn't as strong as her friend and the weapon was as heavy as it looked, or it wedged too deep from impact. Either way, when she grabbed hold and Kirara took off she was yanked from the mount and fell rather heavily to the ground. She landed with a cry of pain, hearing Shippou's yelp of surprise as he settled a little ways off. Ignoring the bruises, she grabbed the weapons that slid off her shoulder and let one fly when a tentacle headed her direction._

_Pink light burst as it disintegrated, casting all eyes to her predicament. She wasn't exactly in the middle of the battle, but was a lot closer than Inuyasha said to be._

_Anger sparked at the thought of him ordering her around like that. 'I can help as much as he can! My arrows do enough damage so Inuyasha can finish Naraku off. We might not kill him until we kill the baby, but that's one less person to worry about!'_

_"Bitch what the hell are you doing here?!"_

_She wanted to say it, but didn't dare. She glared across the way, meeting angry gold. "Don't think I'm useless!" She snapped._

_"There you are miko."_

_She froze and slowly turned, toppling backward in a bad dodge of a tentacle. Her arrows fell again and she hurried to collect them, simply too slow. A limb wrapped around her torso and hoisted her in the air. The only thing she could do was a defiant glare._

_"You're a waste of energy miko. You'll be put to better use when I'm through here."_

_"Onore! Kaze no kizu!"_

_Winds struck up and headed their way. Brown widened as her legs kicked. "Baka! Are you crazy?!" Inuyasha would in no way put her in danger, she knew that by now, but the attack drew close enough that she feared a leg would get severed if she moved an inch._

_She was freed and scooped up in no time, brought out of Naraku's reach. "Fucking stay HERE this time!"_

_She glared, looking away. "I'm not feeble!" She grit out. Brown widened when a hand moved to automatically grasp the quiver string. "My arrows!" She gasped._

_"If you hadn't dropped them we wouldn't have this problem!" Inuyasha grit, Tessaiga cutting a few youkai trying to sneak in. Gold easily spotted the mess and he swore._

_She wanted to hit him. "Mou! I can help! I can do long-range attacks at least!" She insisted, fists clenching. He had to understand – she wasn't going to let Naraku win!_

_"Alright!" He growled, doing a quick check to the area. "Stay here and don't move! I'll be back."_

_She watched him leap away, praying he would return quickly. She felt too exposed without her weapon and anxiety suddenly rose. 'Shippou-chan!' Brown scanned the field, finding him cowering behind Hiraikoutsu as Inuyasha unleashed another Kaze no kizu._

_She scowled. Inuyasha never paid any mind to the poor kitsune's safety. If she didn't find a way to get him out of there, he might not survive the battle. "Shippou-chan..."_

_"Kagome-sama!"_

_Winds picked up around her and the screams of a youkai sounded as she turned. She spied it disappear into the void and felt bad for making everyone take time out from fighting to defend her. "Arigatou Miroku-sama!" She called. She knew it was safer near him and headed over, even though she was told to stay put. Inuyasha wanted her to be safe and it was safe by Miroku-sama. "We need to get Hiraikoutsu and Shippou-chan away from Naraku!" She urged._

_The shakujou twirled, energy burning a youkai past its bones. "I agree, but there're too many enemies to do so. We won't get to either unless you have a good idea."_

_Troubled brown looked to the pair. Kirara was fighting airborne youkai, Sango-chan was holding her own against a few nearby, Miroku-sama was doing the same, and Inuyasha was trying to fight Naraku and dodge Kagura's attacks._

_'Gods...please...we need help.'_

_Just as she wondered if this was too difficult, a surge of energy tickled her senses before an arrow suddenly flew from nearby foliage and decimated a few dozen youkai in its wake. It landed in one of Naraku's tentacles that headed to stab Inuyasha's back and sizzled to nothing._

_Everything stopped at this twist and looked. There was a snort from Naraku as he dodged Tessaiga. "Ah Kikyou, you came."_

_"Naraku...it seems you finally did it."_

_"Oh? So, you've come to kill me now?"_

_Said miko walked up, as if meaning to come in the middle of the battle. Brown eyes took in the area and assessed everything. They finally landed on Naraku and minutely narrowed. "I said I'd come for you when you completed the Shikon. I know you've got all the pieces."_

_"Kikyou! Don't come near!"_

_Impassionate brown eyed the hanyou. "Don't try to stop me Inuyasha or my arrows will keep you out of my way until I finish."_

_Inuyasha looked visibly shocked, but recovered with normal arrogance. He used that time to grab the rest of the arrows and made a quick snatch for the quiver while using Tessaiga to dodge an attack._

_She knew being that close to Naraku with the opportunity to do some damage was lost and he was definitely annoyed, but hid it pretty well under the circumstances. She grabbed them and deposited the rest as the battle seemed to go back to normal, save for Kikyou and Naraku. She notched an arrow and kept it ready to fire, eyes avidly watching the pair nearby._

_"Courageous aren't you Kikyou?"_

_Even brown stared back. "You don't even know how to use the Shikon properly...you've distorted its powers since you collected them. You haven't finished it either." Kikyou's lips twitched the barest of degrees. "You failed to kill me this whole time Naraku. I was not meant to die by your hands."_

_"You'll die easily enough though!" A hand shot out and clutched the girl's throat, hoisting her to the air. "Hmph...you're all talk." Kikyou's hands rose as if to try and pry her way free, but merely rested on Naraku's wrist for a second before energy crackled around contact. Naraku cried out in surprise and anger, dropping his prey and created a new hand to cover the one that fell off. "Bitch – you'll pay for that."_

_"You're all talk Naraku." Kikyou echoed. An arrow was notched in a second and pointed at his heart. "Once I finish with you, I'll take the Shikon with me and put it where those like you will never use it again."_

_Naraku smiled. "A fancy wish." The sound of ripping cloth was heard before Kikyou fell. No blood came from the living doll, but the opening allowed for a few souls to escape before she clamped down on her hold. "Too bad you won't be able to keep it."_

_"Sankon Tetsusou!"_

_Hakudoushi jumped out of the way of the attack. "A little late Inuyasha."_

_"Temee!" Inuyasha took up a guarded stance over the fallen, trying to keep both back and front guarded. Ears twitched behind at a noise. "Eh? Kikyou!"_

_Kikyou slowly stood, grabbing her bow. "Don't worry about me. I'm not down yet."_

_Tessaiga swung out for Hakudoushi when the child brought his weapon in a sneak attack. "Kaze no kizu!"_

_"Cornered aren't you Naraku?" Kikyou taunted, looking behind the hanyou. "I know you're fighting so hard, with your offspring here, for a purpose." Naraku's eyes narrowed. "The baby is too close for your comfort. Its hiding place is around here, isn't it? Were you moving it to a different area again and were caught?"_

_Again, everything seemed to stop as everyone digested that. By now, all low-level youkai were taken care of and the battle gained a new focus._

_She looked to the two near her. "Miroku-sama...Sango-chan..."_

_The pair nodded. "If we can split up and find the baby, we can end this."_

_"But how do we do that houshi-sama? Naraku will see us sneak off and I won't let Inuyasha finish him!"_

_"I don't want my chance to slip either, but we have no choice. Right now, Naraku is as real as his kugutsu. The baby is the heart and killing him kills Naraku permanently."_

_The two girls nodded, one grimly. Magenta-lined eyes burned into the ground. "I'll go."_

_"Me too."_

_"Kagome-sama, you..."_

_A fist clenched in determination. "I'm the only one who can sense the shards and...Sango-chan..."_

_Said person looked up from a hand on the shoulder. "Kagome-chan?"_

_"Kikyou said Naraku had all the shards...but hadn't put them together yet." She didn't want to say it, but the girl deserved to know. "I...sense a Shikon no kakera nearby."_

_Sango's jaw clenched. "We – we have to hurry then. That'll get us there. Kagome-chan...can you lead me and Kirara to it?"_

_"I'll go with."_

_"There's not enough room on Kirara houshi-sama. You stay and help Inuyasha and Kikyou." Brown looked to the weapon nearby, hands itching to hold it again._

_Miroku nodded, though he didn't look too pleased with the idea. "Good luck." Dark eyes turned to the battlefield, giving it his attention._

_"Kirara, let's go!" The nekoyoukai sidled closer and took on two more passengers. There was no way to go about leaving the battle unnoticed, so chances needed to be taken. Kirara headed the opposite direction long enough for Hiraikoutsu to be pulled from the ground._

_"Oi! Take me with!"_

_"Grab hold Shippou!" Sango called. The kitsune did as ordered and was safely gripping Kirara's fur as the group headed in the needed direction._

_Those on the ground looked up. "Where the hell are they going?!"_

_"Inuyasha, don't worry." Miroku muttered, stopping next to the fighter._

_"Damn girl..."_

_"Worried Naraku?" An arrow pointed the hanyou in the face, cold brown staring at the other end. "You won't have to much longer."_

_Without saying a word, an elongated hand grabbed the bow before the arrow could be launched and snapped it. "You annoy me Kikyou. Time to rid myself of you."_

_Inuyasha threw himself in the way, getting a sharp, five-pronged digits in a few places of his body. He fell to the ground, using his claws to sever the hand and free himself. "Kisama...your opponent is me! If you look away, you'll regret it!"_

_"Words to follow Inuyasha." The hand pulled free of its own violation and flew back to the body, attaching to the wrist again and becoming whole._

_"Inuyasha – we seem to be missing a player." Miroku solemnly reported._

_"Nani?! Why didn't you fucking stop him?!"_

_"You needn't worry about the child. You'll have enough to do soon enough." A sleuth of tentacles shot out from under the baboon pelt. Inuyasha grabbed Kikyou and jumped one direction, Miroku another. __"Hmph...this should be interesting."_

_-----_

_"It's close Sango-chan!"_

_"Another cave. How many of these are we going to go into?"_

_"As long as it's not a youkai, I'm fine."_

_"Shippou-chan..."_

_A sudden power surged through her and brown whipped behind them. "Someone is approaching!"_

_"It's Hakudoushi no doubt. I didn't think we'd get away clean. It was either him or Naraku and no way would Naraku leave with Kikyou there."_

_She looked to the nearing cave, eyes thoughtful. 'Kikyou... What will Naraku try to do this time?'_

_They made it to the lip when a stream of flame came from one side. Kirara quickly changed course and stopped facing the enemy._

_"You shouldn't leave a battle when it's not finished."_

_"That brat Hakudoushi." Shippou muttered, glaring. "Fight fair!"_

_"Heh. No need. Prepare yourself!"_

_"Hiraikoutsu!" The beam passed around without hitting offspring or horse, but came back successfully without getting knocked aside. Sango caught it with a tense expression. "Chikushou...it isn't going to do much good."_

_"You're no match for us." Another stream of fire from Entei made the group move out of the way. Kirara dodged underneath and headed into the cave. "Damn you!"_

_"Hurry Kirara!" Sango coached, casting a look back. "Kagome-chan!"_

_"Got it." An arrow notched and flew out of the mouth, light trailing like a comet. It missed the target, but the relatively narrow passage made dodging hard and their pursuers were driven back to keep from being purified. "I'm getting low! I'll have to save them for good hits."_

_"Then save one for the baby." Sango answered. "Let one go as soon as you can sight it."_

_The cave wasn't very complex, and using the shard, they got there no problem. Kanna was easily spotted sitting on a rock, arms holding the heart of their troubles._

_The defense systems proved to be an issue._

_"That's –"_

_"Stop Kohaku!" The weighted end of the sickle came out and socked her in the shoulder. She wasn't prepared and teetered off the edge, falling to the rocky ground and losing conscious. "Kagome-chan!"_

_"Kagome!"_

_"Good work Kohaku."_

_"Kisama...Hakudoushi..."_

_"Sango, your brother is definitely a well-trained taiji-ya."_

_"You...bastard! Hiraikoutsu!" The weapon was knocked off course when the sickle lashed out and hit part of the cave wall. It slid off the side and rolled a bit before stopping. "Kohaku..."_

_"Now Kohaku, make sure the baby is in a safe place for now until it can be moved to a better spot." A cruel smile met Sango across the way. "I'll take care of her in the meantime."_

_Brown eyes looked between enemy and brother. A fierce glare pierced Hakudoushi as if to burn him to ashes. "Damn you! You'll regret using Kohaku like that!" A small nudge was all that was needed between rider and beast as Kirara flew forward._

_"What are you going to do here?" Entei released a blast of fire and the battle raged on._

_"Kagome...Kagome, wake up!"_

_"Ah... Shippou-chan..."_

_"Come on! We have to stop Sango no ototo before he moves the baby!" A miniature hand pointed to the boy's exit to the other side of the cave hole following the white girl that passed out of sight._

_"Right. My arrows?" Shippou handed the bow and pushed the quiver over. "Arigatou Shippou-chan. Let's go!" The kitsune hopped to a shoulder and held tight as she made her way over uneven terrain._

_The passage didn't go unnoticed and a glare was thrown from above. "You won't get far!" Entei flew down, ignoring the other enemy, and blocked the exit. "You thought you could sneak out? You'll pay for that mistake."_

_She glared and notched one of the remaining arrows. It was possible the horse could disintegrate it before the magic struck anything. She would have to take that chance and hope this was the final arrow needed for a bit. "Kagome-chan! Hiraikoutsu!" Luck was on her side and she jumped out of the way as horse and rider took to the air to avoid the boomerang. She put the arrow back and ran to the weapon as it knocked against a wall and was still._

_When the group was together again, their enemy was at the entrance to the cave. "This place will be your tomb. You won't get out of here alive...and even if you do manage to maneuver the tunnels, it'll be too late." A strong kick from the horse's hooves against the side cracked rock surrounding the entrance. The offspring exited before it fell and effectively buried the group inside._

_"What'll we do now??"_

_"Shikkari shite Shippou-chan. Kohaku used a different passage to get out. Hakudoushi said even if we get out, we'd be too late."_

_"Let's make sure that doesn't happen. Kagome-chan - here!"_

_She gripped the extended hand and mounted Kirara again. The entry wasn't that hard to get into, but the back wasn't so easy. There were more tunnels and the sense of the Shikon was fainter and harder to pinpoint. "We might miss them." She fretted, biting her lip._

_"It's not over yet Kagome-chan. Which exit is it?"_

_She concentrated on the power and pointed to the correct. A few more and there was a beam of light through one._

_"Yatta Kagome!" Shippou praised._

_She threw him a smile before raising a hand to her eyes to adjust them and looked around. "He went this way! They...they circled around?"_

_"No doubt back to Naraku. They'll probably escape together." Sango guessed. "We can't let that happen. It has to stop here."_

_'Naraku can't escape!'_

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Hiraikoutsu-Flying bone** (Sango's weapon) **Kazaana-Attack Miroku yells when using the hole in his hand Houshi-Monk Shakujou-Priest's/monk's staff

Kisama-Can be a swear word, also rude form of you Kekkai-Barrier/shield Onore-Same as Kisama Kaze no kizu-Wound of wind** (One of IY's many attacks) **Kitsune-Fox

Sankon Tetsusou-Soul shattering iron claw** (One of IY's many attacks)** Temee-Same as onore/kisama Kugutsu-Pieces of wood with something from caster attached, what Naraku uses

Sango no ototo-Sango's little brother/Kohaku Yatta-You did it


	54. Ch 54

_Hakudoushi definitely underestimated their survival instincts if he thought they were going to lie down in a dingy, dank hollowed pile of rocks._

_Time passed, though it was still daylight out. The sun hadn't shifted much – if any – when sunlight hit, and they sped to battle as fast as Kirara could._

_There was an expectancy of injury, as she knew Inuyasha got hurt a lot because of brazenly rushing in without thinking. She theorized even Miroku might have a few scuffs due to Naraku's tricks._

_Sheer numbers nearly overwhelmed them before and it could do so again if Naraku called forth more youkai._

_She didn't expect to see Kikyou trying to remain standing, a definable indent in her shoulder making it impossible to wield a bow. By the stiff, strained movements, she could tell more souls escaped. The only reason she was probably still alive was Inuyasha blocking Naraku's path._

_She stared in stark horror. The skin hadn't changed color or distorted, and there was no blood, but seeing a gap in an otherwise human-looking body was still very unnerving._

_Her hands fisted. It was up to her. Unless Kikyou didn't feel pain, which she did in more than one sense, she was incapable of using her weapon._

_She was the only one who could do long-ranged attacks now..._

_Attention from the ground was drawn skyward as the battle paused. Naraku seemed pleased for some odd reason, which inched her suspicion higher._

_"So you did make it after all." A smug grin tilted his lips. "Glad you joined us again. We had fun without you."_

_She glared for all she was worth. There wasn't much else to do until they got an entrance to attack._

_"Sango...I was waiting for you actually. You've forced me into an unfavorable position, you know."_

_Said girl jumped off Kirara and moved her weapon to offense at a moment's notice. "What're you talking about Naraku?" She spat, eyes narrowing._

_She notched an arrow and kept it ready just in case. Eyes narrowed in thought as she watched their enemy turn to give her companion his full attention._

_Considering he was ignoring Inuyasha and all possible attacks, this had to be serious._

_The self-righteous look was sending warning bells in her head, but she couldn't put her finger on WHY she needed to shoot now before something happened. This sense of foreboding wasn't leaving but increasing and she forced her muscles to keep from moving. Acting prematurely wouldn't be good._

_She had to do something, but this feeling wasn't shedding any clues. She would use the stored energy to act, if only she knew WHY._

_Naraku's chin rose, unconsciously showing his higher-than-thou attitude. "I've been rather patient with you taiji-ya... You've forced me to reconstruct my plans for Inuyasha and Kikyou."_

_"Stop babbling nonsense!" Sango ran forward with intent to throw Hiraikoustu, but stopped as a presence stepped from the edge of surrounding forest. Brown eyes widened. "K – Kohaku..."_

_The boy walked without glancing in her direction, stopping within Naraku's distance. The look in the hanyou's eyes turned annoyed...almost enraged. "You were fun to toy with while the right tools were available, but now it seems that has ended." An elongated hand reached out and grabbed Kohaku around the neck, hoisting him in the air._

_Everyone was shocked and Kikyou looked rather perturbed. She gravely stared before spearing the ground with a glare._

_Instead of a blank look as everyone came to expect with each encounter from Naraku's influence, youthful eyes shot wide and were frightened._

_The small group gaped at this twist. She took a small step forward, weapon lax and barely held together, eyes impossibly wide._

_If Kohaku weren't in his right mind, there would've been nothing. To see anything from him meant he somehow escaped and was in control of himself again._

_The nagging in her mind became startling clarity as she unraveled the rumor first. "Gods...no – no he CAN'T!"_

_Magenta-lined eyes swung her way. "Kagome-chan...nani wa??" She met Sango's gaze, apologetic and grave. "M - masaka... You don't mean...no! I won't let you!"_

_The girl made to swing her weapon, but found Kohaku directly in front as a shield. She grunted in annoyance and dropped the boomerang, grabbing her wakizashi and continuing with an infuriated cry._

_Naraku smirked, not worried about bodily harm at the distance, and moved his other hand. "I don't like being played for a fool..."_

_Kohaku tried to swallow, giving up the act and trying to pry the hands away at his throat. His weapon fell to the ground with a clack. It was useless, as much time spent with his manipulative master showed regeneration._

_"Kohaku!!"_

_"A – ane-ue..."_

_"Sankon Tetsusou!"_

_"IIE!"_

_There was the quietest of ringing pitches as the sound of skin being broken accompanied it. Instantly, small hands dropped from their frantic position to free him as the boy went slack, eyes dulling worse than when being controlled._

_There was a scream coming from the remaining taiji-ya as she slashed with all her might, missing as Naraku dropped Kohaku and easily jumped back._

_To Sango's horror, her blade hit her beloved brother instead of the intended target._

_The distraught girl dropped the sword in an instant and cradled the dead weight, clutching him to her. Tears lined her eyes and slipped, full of hate and pain. "K – koha...ku..." Her face buried against the black fabric of his uniform, shoulders trembling._

_She wiped the tears before they fell, effects of her friend's misery. Poor Sango put up with this dilemma for so long, knowing the inevitable consequences, and now it was thrust in her face in the worst way possible._

_This was what she was supposed to prevent from happening._

_Her heart wrenched as guilt assaulted her. She knew what would happen, but yet did nothing! She could've aimed for his head, but hesitated too long. Now it was too late._

_She threw the fiercest glare to the object of so much grief, trying to will his body to burn past ashes into nothingness. "Onore!" She nearly screamed, clenching her weapon hard enough to break it. "Why?! Why did you do so now after all this time?!"_

_Naraku pulled out the near complete chunk of jewel, putting the shard with it in his hand. "The shikon no tama shines brightest when devoured by darkness. There is nothing more beautiful than pure sadness." A cruel smile appeared as he stared at brother and sister. "Sango fit the bill perfectly...even though this plan was put on hold longer than I wanted."_

_She was shaking so strongly her vision wavered. "You...YOU..." Her teeth clenched to try and hold the anger in, but her blood boiled too much to contain it. "BASTARD!"_

_"This was your plan all along, wasn't it?" A new voice snapped her from some anger and brown looked to the other miko. Kikyou was looking almost forlornly at the pair on the ground. A disdainful glare was sent to the hanyou. "This was why you didn't complete the shikon. To add more suffering to it."_

_The quiet, almost uncontrollable sobs filled the battlefield. It was so thick there was almost a visible aura around the warriors._

_"Naraku, killing you is too good a punishment." Miroku hissed. Dark eyes burned as he watched Sango, jaw clenched. He stepped near Inuyasha, as tense as his companion._

_The enemy snorted and turned. "I am not far from being over. My plans aren't finished yet. Before the shikon can be completed, there is so much more blackness to show it." Evil eyes looked to Kikyou, narrowing a tad. "Starting with finishing what I started so long ago."_

_There was no time to react. Though Inuyasha was fast, he was too taken aback to move and block._

_A hand hoisted the limp miko in the air by the neck again, this time with more force than before. Hands capable of ejecting massive power tried to move to do so like the first instance, but there was no borrowed energy left to do so._

_Kikyou was helpless as could be. It was amazing she was still alive, but by the anger and fear in otherwise emotionless eyes, she possessed the original part of their shared soul at least._

_"You plagued me in more ways than I want to Kikyou."_

_"Naraku!!"_

_Another hand jerked out and shoved Inuyasha away, not to be deterred this time._

_Sango was too caught up in her grief, not even looking up from her brother to do anything. Miroku would only end up like Inuyasha if he tried for a frontal assault and his hand would suck both up if tried._

_She was too caught up in the drama and shock of everything to gain control. Her mind was screaming for her limbs to act, to notch again and shoot at his head, but she couldn't._

_Kikyou's eyes shuttered closed and deep concentration appeared before her body crackled with energy like her hands before. It was powerful by the feel and Naraku's grip spasmed, dropping her to the ground._

_The miko landed with a thump, barely making a noise and trying to struggle to her feet. A few drops of souls escaped in the lack of control and she slumped to the ground, limbs fully paralyzed._

_The scene helped jumpstart her and she took aim. She let the arrow go, feeling a surge of power and added her hate to help guide it to the source._

_It embedded itself in an arm – much like Kikyou's had done – and fried the skin to his shoulder._

_"Annoying little miko!"_

_The hand closest to her shot out, faster than she could ready her bow. Just before it reached her, there was a slicing through flesh and it instantly dropped._

_"S – Sango-chan..."_

_Fierce, dark eyes glared, wakizashi dripping. "You may have taken Kohaku from me again...but I'll be damned to hell if I let you take Kagome-chan!!" With a battle cry, Sango rushed forward, severing one of the tentacles that reached for her. She missed the one that circled around and struck her in the side, pain making her drop the short sword._

_"Sango!" Miroku rushed to help his betrothed, an ofuda in his fingers. It was thrown to the hanyou, but one of the many tentacles snaked out and took the full hit. To everyone's horror, it was ripped off before the effects could reach the main body._

_They were in trouble and she knew it. Steeling herself with a breath for courage, she aimed again._

_Before the arrow was released, Naraku's hand blurred for his prey again._

_There was a sickening crunch of bones as needle-like pronged fingers struck the girl's body. An infuriated cry came from Inuyasha as he made to attack again, but Kikyou was harshly dragged away as Naraku leapt clear._

_"Come back here you fucking bastard!!"_

_"Come attack me Inuyasha. Come and risk hitting your precious Kikyou." A smirk took over the hanyou's face as the other hand rose, settling a third time over the slender neck. "Here...let me save you the trouble."_

_Fear was evident in Kikyou's eyes as she looked down. "Inu...yasha!" There was no struggle as the girl had no souls left but her own and without the remainder, was a rag doll._

_The head suddenly tilted at an impossible angle as the neck was snapped. Any enemy would be pleased with knowing their adversary was dead by breaking their neck. But as Kikyou wasn't alive to begin with, Naraku seemed in no mood to take chances for her to come back yet again._

_His hand transformed, tearing through skin and severing head from body._

_"KIKYOU!!"_

_Horror, pain, anguish, anger, love...all in that one word._

_Her heart clenched for Inuyasha, watching as he fell to his knees._

_An unsettling feeling crawled over her and forced her to pay attention._

_A light came from the body, rising from the new orifice and hovering close. She stared in transfixion, eyes narrowing as a burning sensation increased throughout her skin. She took a step to the light, hand extending to touch it. Her other slackened and dropped the bow, eyes clouding a little._

_It seemed vague hesitation – one not understood on her part – cost her and the soul floated a little ways up...suddenly losing brightness and dissolving to nothing._

_She didn't know what happened, but the soul just vanished. Without returning back to the current owner. She didn't know how she was supposed to connect her soul again and knew she missed her chance._

_Her gross preoccupation cost her greatly. She stumbled back at Naraku's abrupt appearance, hands clenching on air._

_She didn't even have a ready arrow to stab him with._

_"You're the other obstacle in my way. You, who look too much like Kikyou..."_

_She glared, indignation at being compared to the now permanently dead woman rising. "You're the vilest, despicable, repulsive...horrible..." There were no words to do her anger and disgust justice. Killing him wouldn't even tell the emotions raging inside._

_Noise from behind gained attention, but she ignored it to keep her attention on Naraku to defend herself and he seemed the least bit worried. She only prayed they were in time in whatever they tried._

_"You would've been a good power source, but now that the Shikon no kakera is the Shikon no tama again, I have no need of you. You are once again a threat to be removed."_

_She took a protective stance, knowing there'd be no way to dodge anything this close. She had no hidden weapons like Sango or Inuyasha's reflexes._

_"Get away from Kagome!"_

_There was a sudden jolt from their enemy as his look turned to pain and shock. Two pairs of eyes looked to his chest, and the end of Tessaiga sticking out of it._

_"Kagome – hayaku!"_

_She took a few hesitant steps back, not willing to move for fear of being surprised. But Inuyasha seemed to have a good enough handle and Naraku seemed strangely immobile. She dared the courage to collect her bow and precious arrow before circling him._

_It was odd that not one move came. She was suspicious again and readied her weapon._

_"Daijoubu?"_

_"Ee." She muttered._

_"Inuyasha...you can't hurt me now that I have this power." Naraku blurred in speed as he extracted himself from Tessaiga and faced them. A palm showed the complete Shikon no tama, a dreary color from its normal pink. "You have my thanks for helping the tama get to its current state. Your hate is enough to power it without my help."_

_"I'll fucking kill you...you repulsive bastard!"_

_Naraku snorted. "You haven't so far, and you still can't." Movement came from the forest. Kanna and Hakudoushi calmly walked to the center, Kagura trailing in their wake. "Today is over with. I won't play with you anymore."_

_Inuyasha made to swipe, but the hanyou's increased speed made it hard to land a hit. Offspring and creator were together and black clouds started appearing._

_They were leaving. He killed Kikyou and Kohaku and now he was going to escape AGAIN. Now that the tama was whole, she had no way of getting home. Not only could she not let him escape, but she wouldn't allow herself to be trapped here twice!_

_The others tried desperate attacks, only to miss or be repelled as miasma became too powerful. She was the only one that could stand it – she always had been._

_This was one of her last arrows. She couldn't see, but the tama would guide her. Breaking it as opposed to what Naraku would do with it was a necessary evil and lesser of the two._

_She had to take this chance._

_"You won't get away this time Naraku!" She shouted, aiming for rising clouds. She located the center and let the arrow go in a brilliant flash._

_It vanished into fog and light decimated dark. The cover blew away as if forced and there was a perfect view of arrow piercing torso._

_A gap quickly appeared and ate away to a rather large hole before the arrow was pulled out. Those that started rising quickly caught themselves._

_Naraku sent a deadly look her way and she fought not to cringe at its promise. "I should've taken the time to kill you when I had the opportunity. I won't make that mistake again."_

_She scrambled for an arrow when he walked around Hakudoushi. Inuyasha dashed forward, swinging Tessaiga. It was blocked by Hakudoushi, who smirked and attacked back._

_Miroku tried to get to her aid, but the battle moved away and he was too slow in shifting his attentions from Sango._

_A loud growl came and relieved a little of her anxiety as Kirara stepped into direct line of injury. She quickly loosened the arrow before she purified the nekoyoukai._

_Naraku smirked. "You think you can stop me... You're too weak." A heavy blast of miasma filtered the air, most of it heading for the youkai. Both females took the brunt of it, Kirara the most, and the power from it transformed the neko to her smaller state._

_"Kirara!" Troubled brown watched the poor thing tremble as she tried to fight the poison. She glared, resolute to fight...as there was no one else to protect her or get in her way. "You're the cause of all of this... Why won't you just die?!"_

_"You first."_

_A hand whipped out and transformed to a spear-like appendage in a blink. She gasped and raised the bow, mindlessly letting go before aiming for anything vital. The arrow missed the hand and continued sailing and another breaking of skin sounded._

_The pain was incredible. It shot through her arms, down her left leg, and invaded her head. It created the worst migraine behind her eyes and throbbing of her temples. It burned with such fierceness that she swore it was on fire._

_A cry of anger sounded over the roaring of her ears and the intrusion was roughly jerked away. A blast of energy and miasma came as the arrow was pulled from another torso hit._

_She cried out from pain, hearing her friends shout her name in concern, and fell to her knees. A shaking hand tried to cover the wound to staunch the flow, and she cringed at the pain from pressure._

_"KAGOME!"_

_Slowly, she looked up, smiling from Inuyasha's concern. Her injured arm reached out, ignoring the pain. "Inuyasha..."_

_A sweep of power reached her and she looked to find Tessaiga crystallized and Inuyasha charging. "Kongou Souha!"_

_The multiple blasts from her arrows and his attack pierced Naraku enough to weaken his defenses to get close. Inuyasha wasted no time in slicing the hanyou into a few pieces._

_She watched with a perverse sense of satisfaction, seeing shock and loathing as his body crumpled in front of her. The Shikon no tama rolled out from his hand and before he could use it to regenerate, she scrambled to grab it._

_Before she could utter a word, Inuyasha whipped around and threw another diamond blast to Kanna and two Hakudoushi. The youth was powerful, but without the tama energy radiating from Naraku, he was severely weakened. The blast ripped through him same as his creator. Kanna had no defense and made no reaction as diamond spears tore at her and the heart she was carrying._

_There was a shout of pain from the two empty bodies. Kanna, the toddler Hakudoushi, and Naraku quickly dissolved with no beating heart to sustain their shells._

_In the end, they were all destroyed._

_The relief that hit her was enormous and tears of gratitude spilled down. Inuyasha and Sango were avenged, and Miroku would live._

_At least she got to see that._

_A wispy smile appeared as she slumped forward, face burying in dirt. The rush of wind in her ears told her Kagura escaped the same fate – which Inuyasha would do in anger despite her one-sided help._

_More cries of her name neared as footsteps pounded. She was quickly turned and cried out at the gruffness. Claws pricked her skin to steady her and she wanted to glare at Inuyasha jarring her injuries, but it didn't matter really._

_Nothing would matter soon._

_She stared into massively concerned gold, looking at Miroku next to her. Sango's absence created a shred of worry and she looked over, finding the girl walking to Kohaku. Sango dropped to her knees, a hand leaving her wound, and brought the boy to her lap again._

_She felt sorry that Kohaku had to die in the end. She was so hopeful he would live through this, but Naraku's schemes killed that._

_So many died here today. She hated seeing death of the Sengoku Jidai, and the tolerance of seeing so much wasted life never dimmed._

_She clutched the tama as much as possible to keep from losing it. The dark energy was beat back and soon all that was left was the purity she was used to._

_"Kagome-sama...this wound..."_

_"Shut up and help me wrap it bouzu!"_

_She grimaced against hands tugging at her shirt, squishing blood soaking in fabric. She didn't want to be exposed to their eyes. It wasn't worth it anyway. "Inuyasha..."_

_"No. No words. You're saving your energy to fight this. We can have you back at the village and in babaa's care in a few hours!"_

_A small, sad smile appeared as her fist rose. She rested it over the one on her shoulder, waiting until it turned to deposit the globe in his care. Her hand heavily rested on his, not giving him a chance to look._

_"You got your revenge...Inuyasha. I completed my duty...and since I had this with me in the beginning...I give it to you...to use as you wish."_

_His eyes hardened in a glare. "Fuck it! Why are you making mention if it now?!"_

_A hand rested on a knee in sheer plutonicness. "Kagome-sama..."_

_She nodded at the insinuation, answering his unspoken thought. "Ee. Gomen...Miroku-sama..." Sango suddenly came into view and fell to her knees, eyes wide and horrified. "Sango-chan..."_

_"Kagome-chan?! No – shikkari shite kudasai!"_

_She tried to smile and reassure them, but her body was betraying her and her muscles were being unresponsive. Her mouth wavered a little before halting. "Minna..."_

_It - it wasn't ending this way was it?? She was a little scared of death, as everyone was, but was more remorseful at not being able to be with Inuyasha as she wanted._

_'And...I thought...I finally had a chance too...'_

_Her hand tightened over his and the jewel, ignoring the small pulse of power._

_"Inuyasha –" Fingers covered her attempt to speak._

_"You're staying quiet. I'm not hearing another word you have to say!"_

_Denial. The proof was covering his hands, his hakama, the sleeves of his haori... She knew this had to hurt, as he just lost Kikyou in the span of an hour. The first two times he wasn't present, but this was right in front of his eyes._

_How she wished circumstances were different, but didn't have the power to heal herself or turn back the hands of time and push herself out of the way._

_Her head pulled away enough to tell him she wasn't finished. She wasn't going to leave until having her say. And now that there was no time, there was no room for embarrassment._

_"I love you...you know that right?"_

_His eyes widened, but the floodgates opened at her admission. His eyes actually teared – she wouldn't have believed it if she wasn't in prime view – and looked almost panicked. "You can't leave me!"_

_Tears blurred her vision at his pain. She gave his hand a weak pat before losing the strength._

_She felt so cold...so cold..._

_"I'm...sorry, but...I have to..."_

_His arms clenched, bringing her closer as if to hoard her life and hold it to her physical form. "Damn it! Don't do this to me! I FORBID you to leave!"_

_Her lips twitched in an attempt to smile. "This time...you won't be able...to stop me."_

_The harsh growl told her he was not even remotely amused._

_Brown drifted closed before she forced them open. She had a few more requests. "Please...don't forget me..."_

_"Ka – Kagome... Don't go..."_

_His voice was breaking her heart. She wanted to leave on more peaceful terms, but this wasn't making her death easy to bear. "Onegai... Atashi o...kissu?"_

_He startled and a fierce blush streaked his face. Gold never left her, though their companions' presence was painfully remembered. He disregarded all that and lowered his head, bangs shadowing their faces as their lips met._

_She always hoped he would be her first kiss. She didn't know he would be her last too._

_He barely pulled away, but it was enough to speak. "A - ari...ga - gatou..."_

-----

_Do you remember now?_

_'Nani?'_

_Did any of that seem familiar?_

_The soft, subdued known voice was hers, she knew it was. It invaded the darkness as she became more conscious. The so-called dream sequence – an actual battle in the way, way past – faded again._

_'Yes.'_

_Who was speaking? Was her heart making conversation with this part of her head? Was it her subconscious...knowledgeable when her mind refused to believe?_

_Do you know who you are?_

_'...Yes.'_

_We were both given a third chance. You died in the beginning and I was reborn farther in time. I didn't mean to lose my life as I did, but Fate never tells you these things until after they happen._

_'You didn't know how to connect us?'_

_There was an almost embarrassed pause.  No...I don't think even SHE could. It would take experience to do that._

_She would've smiled if she had lips. Knowledge of her search to find what was wrong with her mentally carried to this dream realm. 'It's possible...but you don't need magic. All I have to do...is...accept you.'_

_She had a feeling this voice would blink if it had eyes. That's too simple._

_She snorted in amusement, the only thing possible. 'You saw my memories and absorbed them have you not? You know English because of it. If I do the same to you, we should become one as we're supposed to be.'_

_...You have to be able to do that entirely though._

_Annoyance hit her and she felt uneasy. 'What do you want?? I'll be giving up myself if I do that.'_

_There was a huff. You. ARE. Me. You act like you do because you DON'T have a whole soul! All you're running on is her hatred and love! If you accept me, you'll be one person again. As of right now, you're not even half._

_'Then how am I able to move when she was not?'_

_Because you are made of flesh and bone. Your body needs your soul for direction, and you need your body to live._

_It made sense when put that way. But seeing was different than doing. 'Will...will I still feel my own presence?'_

_I don't know what'll happen. Right now, we're two different people. It's the same thing as Kikyou and I. The only difference is flesh._

_'WHY were we put in one body when you two managed to live separate lives before?'_

_You're asking the wrong entity._

_She did NOT appreciate the sarcasm. Now when she needed answers to make a decision, the voice developed a sense of humor._

_'You've given me enough to think about. I think I'll leave now.'_

_There was a snort. You're not here of your own violation this time. The injury which felled me almost repeated its actions. You're under rules of your body until it heals enough for you to be conscious. So until then, do your thinking here. I'll answer questions now that you're educated._

_'Will...I remember ANY of this if I go to the waking world?'_

_That I don't know. You own your mind right now...you have to find a way to break connection between sleep and wake to keep this knowledge. There was exasperation again.  Otherwise I'll be back at square one._

_'Oh so sad for you.' She retorted wishing to have eyes to roll. 'You have one horrendous set of mockery for asking to bond with me and have use of my body, you know.'_

_There was a sense of humor filtering from the voice. I have my moments. You're the one who got more of his lack of wit tolerance than me._

_'You have to explain that too. What does that mean??'_

_Again - you're asking the wrong entity. If you want answers, get your hand on the Shikon. I don't know how, but get it. I felt it when you touched it, so I know it still has something resembling a conscious. Why I don't know...the wish was granted._

_She sighed. 'Are you EVER going to stop speaking in riddles?'_

_The notion of smiling appeared again.  Nihonjin rarely do enough talking to satisfy you hito-tachi no eigo._

_'Ah uresai...' She muttered._

~*~*~

Brown peeked open and stared at shadows over white paint. After a second, she slowly blinked and kept staring, slowly recognizing the morning hour.

'What? Where am I?'

Pain exploded through her body when she tried to sit up and hissed. Her head pressed against the cushions in effort to shy away, and took deep breaths to try and still it.

Ears pounded in synch with her heart, but over that she could hear a small gasp and a presence occurred to her.

"Ah...gracias a Dios – you're awake!"

Her head inched to the side, meeting light blue. She blinked a few times, realizing she should know this person. Wracking her memories gained a vague sense of recollection, but it was like holding water through loosely clasped fingers.

This person seemed important though. There was warmth at seeing massive relief and concern in those beautiful eyes.

"S...S..." She knew the name - tried to say it. Her body was still rather unresponsive and made even small movements hard. "Sam...chan..."

The Cuban blinked. "Kalie? I know this is a stupid question, but are you okay? Aside from your injury, did you have head trauma?"

What exactly did THAT mean?? Her brow furrowed and showed off her confusion. "Eh?"

"You have an accent. You didn't before... Do you want me to get a doctor?"

She went to shake her head and stopped at the pain it caused. Speaking it was then... "Iie..." Her face moved to its original position as brown closed. "Nemuritai." There was no response and she looked over to find an odd, almost frightened look greeting her. "Eh? Sam-chan...nani wa?"

The questioning tone was enough of a hint. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING??" Sam burst out. "Where did you learn such fluent Japanese?? I KNOW you haven't taken classes and THIS is at least two years along! You didn't even pick up Spanish until you were around my house for a few months! What the hell is happening to you?!"

She flinched, ears ringing at the loudness of her friend. "Shikkari shite Sam-chan. Daijoubu... Nani mo wa chigau nai."

"LISTEN to yourself!" A finger pointed almost accusingly in her face. "Are you even aware of what you're saying??"

She gave an odd look. "Hai...wakate mochiron..."

The poor girl looked ready to tear her hair out in frustration and mystery. "Me repueste en español." She ordered, nearly glaring.

A brow rose. Their gazes met until she looked to the blanket covering her legs. "Atashi...atashi...omoidasani..." She looked to Sam, eyes a little wide. "Naze omoidasani?!"

The tone of voice was not a good one and Sam's hands waved to try and soothe the visibly troubled girl. "It's okay Kalie, it's okay. I don't know what you're saying, but please calm down...you don't want to put stress on your injury and open it."

She took a deep breath, not wanting that either, and a hand hovered over her shoulder. She eyed it and gently touched the area, finding a lot of gauze and stiffness. Her eyes narrowed, wondering what they all used. "Kore wa nani?"

"K...do you understand what I'm saying?"

She looked over at that almost urgent tone and nodded. "Hai."

Sam was visibly relieved, though quite taken aback at how to handle this. "But you don't remember any Spanish you learned?"

Brown looked almost apologetic. "Iie...gomen..."

She looked for tone and emotion instead of words. It would have to do. "And you don't remember any of your French either?"

She startled, forgetting about yet another language she was rather fluent in. Her eyes widened. "Iie...sore omoidasanai! Atashi o nani aru??"

"Kalie you have to stay calm for me. Okay?"

She tried to still some of the shaking for her friend, recalling a little more as this amnesia-like condition persisted.

"Okay now...if you can understand my English, do you think you can recall it enough to speak it for me?"

She felt like she was a child the way Sam was talking. But her anxiety over this was lessened by it, so it was a forgivable thing. She nodded slowly, trying to pull it from her mind.

But...wasn't she speaking it already? It sounded that way to her mind, so why wasn't Sam understanding??

Her good hand rose and clutched her head, face screwing to a grimace. This was all so confusing and she didn't want to deal with it. She just wanted to go back to sleep. She was in too much pain still and felt like something occurred while she was asleep.

But, just like her memories, there was the same difficulty figuring out details.

It was beyond frustrating. Was she to be so thoroughly cut off from her friend because of some odd language incapability AND her own life? When would the torment end??

'What ELSE do you want me to go through!?'

"Kalie...it's fine if you can't answer me right away. I'm – I'm...I'll go get a nurse and tell her you're awake. They...they said they wanted to keep good tabs on you anyway..."

She looked over, perplexed at the uncertainty. "Sam-chan? Nani wa? Daijoubu?"

Sam's jaw clenched as she tried not to show anything going on inside. She pasted on a quick smile and took a few steps back. "I'll...just be right back." Turning, she tried not to flee and alert her friend. No point in making her worry with that condition.

Once outside and the door safely closed, Sam leaned against the wall next to it and hugged herself. "¿Por qué? ¿Por qué éste está pasando a mi amiga? ¿¿Qué había hecho??" Tears rolled down, but she swiped them away before anyone could see.

After a quick check to make sure no one was around, Sam composed herself as best as possible before heading through the halls.

She wasn't completely lying, there WAS someone she had to talk to, but it wasn't a nurse. This was out of her league and there was only one person who could handle this.

After two rings, her home phone was answered. "Hello?"

Sam bit her lip, everything coming back. "I – Inaki... I need you to...come back to the hospital..."

His blood ran cold. "Sam...what...what's wrong? Is K...is she..."

"No, nothing like that. I – I don't mean to sound so emotional. No, Kalie's awake actually. I know you wanted to know when she woke up...but...something's wrong."

His brow furrowed. Resolved to put the cordless back later, he went for his shoes near the door. "What's going on? Is her injury giving her problems?"

"Not that." A fist covered her mouth. Again, Sam had to wipe tears to keep them from falling. "She woke up and...I don't know what happened. She doesn't know Spanish and she doesn't speak in English, though she comprehends it."

"What's wrong with her?" His heart raced and knew asking this when he could be speeding to the hospital was rather stupid. Or better yet – seeing for himself.

"She's speaking in Japanese. I don't get a word of it, but she won't stop! I don't know why...I can't explain it. I – I just..."

"It's okay Sam. I'm hanging up now and I'll be there under half an hour max. Try to get some fresh air okay? You were there all morning."

"You were here all night while I slept. It was only reasonable ONE of us fight the system and be by her side after hours."

He chanced a smile. "I'll be there soon."

"Please hurry. I'm at my wit's end here."

He didn't answer and dropped the phone to the carpet, knowing it wouldn't be hurt, and quickly locked the door with a borrowed key. "Just when I thought my life was boring." He grumbled, gunning the engine. "What the fuck is going on here??"

~*~*~

'This is going to itch like crazy soon.'

I had worse than you did.

She sent a dry look to the wall. 'You again. Come to say some MORE enigmatic stuff?'

There was a sigh. Don't you remember ANYTHING I said??

She would've retorted back, but something made her pause. The voice seemed sure she did something while unconscious. 'I – I should.' A hand clutched her head again. 'Did I say something?'

I don't know how to replay your own memories for you, so you'll have to remember.

'No hints huh?' She bit out. 'You know if you don't help me, I'll be trying to get this all day until a doctor comes in and takes my attention or knocks me out again.'

More annoyance, but there was a thread of resignation. You finally realized who you were. You dreamed of the final battle and what happened to us. And now you have to think about whether or not to accept me, or keep dealing with me in your head for the rest of your life.

That didn't sound like fun at all. She always wanted more friends, but the ones in her head didn't count.

Still...familiarity hit hard and the dream came back. It wasn't difficult to picture it, as it was the same one she kept replaying for so long.

Her lids lowered as she thought. 'I don't really...have a choice do I?'

A knock jerked her head up and she hissed as skin pulled. An odd feeling, almost tingling sensation that – for some screwed up, almost logical reason – seemed familiar. Her eyes narrowed at it, but shoved it away in favor of not keeping the person outside all day long.

"Hai?"

The door peeked open and she expected Sam – who she remembered with way more clarity – and found concerned brown staring at her.

She brightened, and so did the presence. "Inaki! Konnichi wa! Ano...soretomo ohayou da?" She smiled, but Inaki didn't react. He merely shut the door a lot more solemn than opening it.

Sam was right...and it confused and scared him upon seeing it. Of course he understood – understood perfectly – and that was the strange part. WHERE and HOW did K learn such good Japanese? Sure she spent a lot of time at his house, but no way could she pick it up auditorally. They didn't do enough explaining and he never taught her. Unless one of the others did, which he doubted, she got it from an outside source.

But like Sam said before he entered, she was too fluent and too new for it to be picked up this quick.

"Kalie..." He started, lips pressing together. Just how did he go about this?? "Daijoubu?"

She nodded. "Ee. Ano...kono itami to kizu wa yakkai."

He hurried to a chair before his legs gave out, even if being so close to this girl made him uneasy.

His own girlfriend...

This was nuts! He almost thought he was crazy. That or something snapped in her head and what she heard sunk in more than he thought. "K...eigo o hanashimasu?"

She sent a bored look. "Ima eigo wo hanase."

"C – chigaimasu..." Hands gripped his chair to keep them from shaking. "Nihonjin o hanashimasu..."

She blinked. "Douyatte atashi -" Hands covered her mouth.

'Again this happens!' Anger entered her eyes. 'What are you doing to me?!'

You're speaking in Japanese. The voice calmly reported. But because you understand it so well, you think you're speaking in English. YOUR first language is English, mine is Japanese. When you open yourself, you become me – including my language retention.

Was she slipping already? Even subconsciously?? Hands wrapped around herself, regardless of the pain from her injury. "Iie...eigo de hasase!"

He startled at her outburst, trying to keep his skin from crawling. "Kalie?" He wanted to comfort her, but the wound on her shoulder and panic kept him from doing so.

"Nihonjin inai! Igirisujin da!"

"Kalie shikkari shimasu!"

She startled when a hand wound around hers. She stared, losing herself in his eyes.

I want to talk to him.

'No you –' A wave of dizziness swept over her and she teetered, but his grip kept her from falling and injecting more pain.

Brown squeezed shut, but relaxed in minutes. A small smile appeared and warm brown met freaked brown. "Inaki..."

He didn't know how to explain this. There was no theory or enlightenment to get him to calm down. Their rolls switched – she looked oddly calm and he couldn't get himself to do so. "Kalie...what the fuck is going on with you?! You're talking to yourself! Is this from the wound?? I can get a doctor if you need one, but please come to your senses! You're scaring me here!!"

She didn't want to scare him...more than anything now that she fought for dominance in this body. Her brow furrowed as she turned within and concentrated. She could feel the presence of her remaining self and ignored it enough to find the memories.

Where was that language bridge...

"Atashi wa -" She paused, digging harder. A sweep hit and she almost flinched. Her throat cleared, as if that were the only problem. "Sorry for...scaring you Inaki-kun."

He fell against the back of the chair, stunned. "English now?"

She was embarrassed beyond belief, but how did she explain without getting them both slammed into the nuthouse? She was sure they still had them in this century.

She didn't want to worry about that right now. She was sure this man was the one. He was the human side, but she recognized those eyes anywhere.

Eyes were the windows to the soul they said...

He looked strange with his hair braided, but definitely not unattractive. She nearly giggled at the image of his other form in a braid.

No way.

She stared, taking in his emotions. They were such a surprising thing when she first dug through the memories. He was so different, but there were still qualities she knew from his other self.

She always did want to dress him up in modern clothes, but never did she think he'd look this good in them. Knowing his and the other's history made her blush thinking about it.

There went her old fantasies out the window. Now she had actual memories to draw upon while this procrastinated an ending.

She wanted nothing more than to throw herself in his arms and feel him while she was in control, but an cord to her injured hand prevented that and the pain of her shoulder as well.

She had a feeling he wouldn't be too responsive anyway.

But HOW did she stimulate him to remember her?? She had to – otherwise what point was there in connecting the soul? She was awake because of him and this was her chance. Sure she was being selfish, but what girl in love wouldn't be?

"Inuyasha..."

He jerked back in reaction when her hand reached out for him on its own. Her manner was entirely different than the one he knew and he wanted to get a shrink in here to explain things. Mostly for himself.

Her hurt gaze guilted him, but only momentarily. "I feel like...I don't know you..." He nearly whispered, meeting her eyes.

They were so different... How could she be a different person when he left her side only a day?? Sure he noticed some strange behavior recently, but didn't think anything of it.

Was that a prelude to this?

"Inu...Inaki-kun...how can you say that?? You know me well. You know every aspect of these lives."

She was not helping her case here...

He jumped from the chair and backed away. He stopped upon bumping into the wall, eyes a little wide. "Who are you?? What did you do to Kalie??"

This was never going to end. The irony of her life transcended time. "Kalie inai - Kagome da."

He stared, a brow slowly rising. "Kagome?" She nodded, hope in those doe-like eyes. "Do you have amnesia? Did Sam let you watch some subtitle movie?"

She slumped a little and stared at the bed. "Didn't think you'd get it that easily. You're both so dense."

His pride kicked in at her scorn. "Now what do you mean by that??"

She gave him a flat look and he almost felt like an idiot. "You didn't get enough of my brains I see. I can accept the surliness if only you'd grasp stuff faster."

His jaw tensed. Why was she belittling him like this?? "What the fuck are you talking about?! You need to stop babbling like this and give me answers! If you've got head trauma, let me know and I'll go get a doctor, but stop putting me down!"

Her lips pursed as brown turned away. "Gomen... I – I didn't mean to be so cruel." She mumbled, a finger picking at the spread.

He sighed and took a few steps to the bed. He never could stand that downtrodden look. After another pause, he took residence in the chair and scoot forward. "Look, why don't we take a few deep breaths and talk about this like adults? No shouting and no insults."

She smiled. "Are you talking about me or the both of us?"

Her sense of humor was not timed right, but his lips twitched and betrayed his seriousness. "I'm not the one who needs to find my right mind."

She sniffed. "I'm in my right mind. You just don't know what's going on in here." A finger reached up and tapped a temple.

"Which is why we're going to have a quaint little talk and I get details."

She looked nervous and brown turned away again. Where did she start, how much should she say without getting the other in trouble, and which life did he want her to go over?

"You're...a little too uneducated to this..." She mumbled.

Their hands clasped and shocked brown met serious brown. "Try me."

Her heart pounded at his touch. Experiencing it firsthand in so long and it still had the power to fluster her. A blush warmed her face as she smiled and stared at his hand. It was the same size as she remembered; of course her hands were always small.

Her thumb moved and slowly stroked the back. He was never this eager to hold her before and she had to admit...she liked this different side.

She was content to sit like this and did so, forgetting he wanted a full-blown explanation. It cost her too.

'Let me back in control!!'

Her brow furrowed at the tone, trying not to flinch. Her teeth grit as a mental shoving contest ensued. No! Don't make me go back! I just got to be with him after so long...doesn't that mean anything to you??

'You didn't even ask me - you always take! If you were nice about it, maybe I would've consented. But you didn't, and I'm taking back what's mine.'

Brown squeezed shut. No...come on - have a heart!

'You're currently in control of that.'

You really ARE using her part of the soul.

She ignored that remark, knowing the implications, and focused on the view from the eyes. As if coming from a dark hole, it widened until she was looking through them on her own.

Pain was there to welcome her, and teeth grit against it. She huffed a little from the inner struggle.

You are a bitch when you want to be aren't you?

Brown narrowed and glowered at the sheets. 'So are you. We're part of the same soul, so I can't be one if you aren't.'

I'll take the body again. Don't piss me off.

A smile spread over her face, smug and almost cruel. 'You're too tired to do so again. I can feel you, same as you can feel me. I've pushed you back before; you think I can't do again?'

Why are you being so difficult?!

'You're not making it easy!' The I.V. hand clenched. 'If you want me to make a decision regarding our merging, leave me alone and give me some space! I'll be spending the rest of my life changed – how much I don't know. If you have any compassion in the other part of our soul, find it and go away for a while!'

Silence met her, but her other was definitely pouting. Fine. Just don't take too long okay?

'Deal.'

****I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.****

**Translations: **Nani wa?-What is it? Masaka-It can't be Ane-ue-Formal way of saying older sister Ofuda-Holy scrolls Miroku uses Hayaku-Hurry (up) Kongou Souha-Diamond Spear Blast

Bouzu-Insulting term for a monk Onegai... Atashi o...kissu?-Please... Kiss me? Nihonjin-Japanese Hito-tachi no eigo-English people **(Basically English speaking) **Nemuritai-I want to sleep

Nani mo wa chigau nai-Nothing is wrong Hai...wakate mochiron...-Yes...Of course I understand... Atashi...atashi...omoidasani...-I...I...don't remember Naze omoidasani?-Why can't I remember?

Iie...sore omoidasanai!-No...I don't remember that! Atashi o nani aru?-What's happening to me? Ano...soretomo ohayou da?-Um...Or should I say good morning?

Ano...kono itami to kizu wa yakkai-Um...this pain and wound are annoying Eigo o hanashimasu?-Are/Can you speak English? Ima eigo wo hanase-I'm speaking it now

Nihonjin o hanashimasu...-You're speaking Japanese Douyatte atashi-How can I Nihonjin inai! Igirisujin da!-I'm not Japanese! I'm English!

**Spanish language will be translated underneath when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.****

**Translations: **Gracias a Dios-Thanks go God Me repueste en español-Answer me in Spanish

¿Por qué? ¿Por qué éste está pasando a mi amiga? ¿¿Qué había hecho??-Why? What is happening to my friend? What has she done??


	55. Ch 55

'I am never going to come to a decision. This is going to plague me till I get out of here and then I'll be worse off with these thoughts in my head.'

Brown closed a little as she absently stared at the far wall. 'Who would I be? What mind would I have? Who am I now? Am I even my own person? Why am I barely a full person as she said? Why didn't she connect us? I would've rather have never known this life than be forced to give it up.'

Her gaze hardened to a glare. 'It's not my fault for what happened so why am I being punished? Just because she's got some man she thinks is alive in this time, I have to give up my body and mind. A little presumptuous of her.'

A shot of pain went down her arm in one of the movements and she paused thought and function with a hiss. After a little coaching, she continued.

'So she says we're one person. I find that hard to believe, even though part of me knows it's true. What name would I even go by? I've got three to choose from...' A smirk appeared, though there was little humor abound.

'This sucks.'

"Okay Miss Himmen, I think we're done for today."

Brown blinked as she startled. "What? That's it?? That went fast."

A smile met her. "You zoned through half the treatment – what do you expect?"

Her brow furrowed with a small grin. "How do you know that?"

The grin returned full force. "Because your expressions kept changing and you barely said one word about any pain."

She gave a sheepish grin. "Ah, sorry about that. I've got a lot on my mind."

The therapist eyed her shoulder. "I can imagine. Well...I can escort you back to your room if you like."

She looked mildly put out. "Don't bother. I know my way blindfolded. Besides, I'm hungry – think I'll go see if the cafeteria has anything good. You'll notice I'm not holding my breath."

The two chuckled and she carefully handed over the feeble weight. The physical therapist snatched it and put it away with the other sets. She held the door open with her good hand, other tucking against her body to keep from getting bumped.

She bid the woman farewell for now, a little bored. Sam had classes and Inaki wasn't going to be here until visiting hours came. It was early in the morning for many to be out and about.

Perfect time to think.

But she didn't want to do anymore thinking, she wanted to do something. She also wanted to get the hell out of here. This was going to drain her savings to nothing and she didn't have health insurance.

"I'm so screwed when I see the bill..." She moaned, fighting to slap her forehead.

She heaved a sigh and consciously tugged at the outfit as she made for a window in one of the many waiting rooms. Not to be one caught indecent in those hospital gowns, she had Sam bring some of her summer p.j. boxers for cover.

Since she wasn't allowed anything heavy over the injury, the gown was turned around. There were enough bandages covering her chest so even if it didn't hide everything, she had extra. She wasn't allowed to wear bras or exercise tops because they ran along her collarbone. Nothing but bandages and medical cream could touch that hole in her shoulder.

It was healing pretty well for the severity. She was glad because two weeks of homework and work was going to kill her. Sam was kind enough to bring her books and any changes in assignments, so she had plenty to do to fight boredom.

It wasn't exactly easy doing homework in a sterile room with no personality. It was so out of the norm and she missed her desk with the comfy chair...even if the hospital beds weren't bad.

She turned away, finally feeling like eating. Food sounded like heaven at times and the worst thing on the planet depending on time of day. Her injury was screwing with her appetite and that wasn't good. She was warned not to loose any weight – as doctors thought she was thin already – as it might affect the healing process.

But...with crappy food like this...how did they expect ANYONE to get their strength back??

One of these nights, she was going to beg Sam or seduce Inaki into bringing a pizza in or...SOMETHING. REAL food for a change.

She smiled, cafeteria smells wafting her way. 'I might be blowing this out of proportion. Not all THAT bad. After all...it IS food. And it's better than nothing.'

There were a few stragglers at the ten o'clock hour, which was how she liked it. She wasn't afraid to be alone and a few of the 'tenants' knew of the girl with the horrible-shoulder-wound.

A few kept asking how she got it since nurses wouldn't give the information out. How rude!

She wasn't a freak, nor was she crazy and didn't want to be seen as either. 'If I had any wish right now...I'd wish for my old life back with Inaki and Sam and studying before SHE came and played with it.'

Sunbeams lit a table near a window and called to her. She drifted to it, gently setting her tray down with thought to her shoulder. Her stitches were out and now she had to build strength.

The heat was nice. She turned the injury to it and let it loosen tired muscles. She would be glad when therapy was over and the skin fine. This drained her more than needed.

'I've still got thirty pages to read before visiting hours too...'

Chass and Marisol stopped a few days during the week to see how she was doing and help her with a few things in classes. They chatted about nothing in particular and brought her flowers and cards some people in class signed.

Work sent flowers and cards as well. The three old-timers came to visit one day and it was almost like family showing up. They mainly stopped to mother-hen her injury and say how much they missed her.

She didn't know that many people knew her.

Ella got wind about her location and she was betting Inaki was the stoolpigeon. Worrying her mother was not on the agenda, but at least the woman came a week after admission and she was healthier.

The woman offered to help shoulder some of the bills, knowing of her finances, but she refused. Ella had enough of her own to take this.

She would work it out someway...

It was nice to have Inaki and Sam regularly visit. She understood both had work and Sam classes, and used the weekdays to play catch-up. Inaki came down weekends and stayed at her house in the meantime.

She hoped Sam wasn't sneaking any peeks in the shower...

She grinned and glanced out the window. The view was nice from three stories up and she shifted the chair to face it.

A contented sigh escaped as the Spork picked at her plate. Silence, edible food, sunlight, good view, and homework to pass the time.

She could do worse.

Brown whipped over at a sudden presence and she hissed at the pull from her neck. A hand hovered over the sight, but she forced herself from touching it. Her head bowed and raven covered her eyes.

"Sorry...didn't mean to startle you."

Brown popped open, widely staring at her thighs.

That voice...she KNEW that voice!

She didn't want to look up. This had to be a hallucination like all the others! But this was from her own life not the other's, and his voice was too real.

There was no dizziness or present fading away for past memories.

This was real!

Taking a slow, deep breath to steel herself, brown inched up, stopping on the plate across the table.

"I didn't know if that was you or not... Did you dye your hair and get contacts?"

Brown slowly closed. She sat back as much as possible, the sun no longer comforting warmth and looked to it, silently begging for solitude again. "What are you doing here?"

"What kind of a greeting is that?"

She quietly sighed. "Hello...Arthur..."

Said person sat in one of the chairs and scooted it forward. "Hello to you too Kalie. And if you'd look higher than the table, you'd notice I've got a pair of scrubs on. I work here."

Her jaw clenched at his answer. Why didn't he just spit it out?? His tone made her feel a little like an idiot again.

'Just like old times, ne?' She resisted a glare in his direction. She needed that strength to get her through this.

"I read about your shoulder. Looks bad."

Brown shot up and warily stared. She took in the same color scrubs as doctors had. "And just WHAT were you doing reading my records?? I thought only official hospital staff had access to them. And even then, only my doctor should."

"Calm down – don't stress yourself. No I'm not a doctor, but I am a nurse and work the third shift. When I heard people talking about the girl with the unknown-shoulder-injury, I asked around." Arthur shrugged. "Normal human curiosity – sue me." Serious eyes met hers. "How did that happen anyway?"

She ignored the concern and looked to the view again. There was a distinct urge to push her food away before the smell made her nauseous.

What a way to loose one's appetite.

"That's not something I care to go into right now."

"You mean with me."

Her jaw clenched again and used her bangs to hide from him. What did he want her to say?? Still...that near accusatory tone compelled her to say something. "...Yes..."

"That hurts."

A little indignation speared her and she let it come. "So does my shoulder." She quipped, not smiling.

Arthur smiled, starting in on his plate. "You still have your sarcasm I see..."

"Some call it humor." She snuck a glance and her nose wrinkled at watching him eat. It wasn't the food, but the thought of eating with this tension didn't agree with her.

Arthur didn't reply, but she could sense he had something to say and would've if he wasn't eating.

There was an uncomfortable silence – at least she thought so. Why did it always have to be this way?? She didn't need this extra strain!

She would head back to her room and bar the door if she wasn't rooted to the spot.

Why was he talking to her all of a sudden?? Dull brown looked to the tabletop. 'Three years and no word...now all of a sudden poof! Back in my life. Why the hell did he approach me?!'

She wanted to know...some morbid part was cattle prodding her to ask. Not like she needed that aggravation, but hey – her life was losing its flare for the dramatics!

"Kalie."

She looked up, eyes curious and wary. There was – oddly enough - a soft look waiting. She blinked in confusion and dumbly stared.

A hand reached across the table and took her good one. She was too stunned to pull away. "Arthur?"

"Kalie...it's been a while, hasn't it?"

Her mouth turned to a grim smile. "Three odd years."

"I can't believe you're twenty-one already."

"Join the club. I didn't exactly have the best birthday."

Last month was delved into the madness of her mind and she completely spaced it off. She tried so hard to find some normality that she went to classes and work without knowing. Sam hadn't said a word, which was odd, but then, she WAS one to walk on eggshells around.

"I'm sorry to hear that. You deserve the best at everything."

She slumped against the chair, but he still didn't release his hold. "Why are you saying these things?"

"I've...missed you Kalie. I thought about you every day that first year. You never called, so I never called. I thought if I gave you some time...maybe you could think things through."

"What would I have to think through?"

This was so not happening! Why was Arthur doing this?! Her life was screwed up enough with the situation of her soul, not to mention her ignorance of Inaki, she didn't need this!

But she couldn't leave. She fell so very close to falling in love with this man and even three years didn't kill everything. She just buried it...as she did everything in her life.

This spelled disaster unless she gained courage to nip it in the bud. Whatever Arthur was saying couldn't be continued for her sake of sanity.

Not to mention emotional upset.

"Are you saying you haven't thought of me since the day you broke up with me?"

Unease and guilt wove her veins. Her heart sped a little at his touch and she resisted looking into his eyes. If she did that, she might be tempted to stare longer and get lost in them.

Did she think of him...did he want her to answer that? Tell him of her little brush with death and everything he made her feel?

Part of her wanted to out of spite. She almost committed suicide over him! Not only would she be dead, but it wasn't worth it. The pain faded and now she was better than that scared girl.

No...it wasn't worth rehashing the past.

"I don't know...I don't remember every day of my life you know."

"Kalie...look at me." She didn't want to, but did. "I don't know what you want from me. I admit I might not've been the best person back then...but didn't I ask you to teach me?? Teach me how to get used to holding hands, holding you? I'm a guy...we're not that emotional, but it's also how I grew up. Are you going to hold that against me? I didn't hold anything against you."

She wanted to run away as fast as she could and make tracks for the safety of her room. It didn't lock, but the bathroom did and that's all she needed to keep him out. She could turn the vent on so she didn't have to hear him.

Or how bad he was already making her feel.

"No...I don't hold that against you..." She mumbled.

The hand pulled away and she felt a little isolated. Part of her wanted to take his hand and it rose a few inches before she clamped on resolve.

She straightened, but still couldn't meet his stare. "Arthur – you..." She sighed. "Why are you doing this?? Why now after so many years?? What are you trying to accomplish here? Okay so I broke up with you. You manipulated my emotions and didn't seem to know or care you were doing it! Do you think I'd stay around when you did something like that??"

"Whatever I did in the past may've been horrible and I'm sorry for that. I saw you around the halls one night and you've been on my mind ever since. I was thinking a lot about you Kalie..."

'Oh god! This can't be...oh please don't let it be going where I think it is!'

"I was hoping you thought a lot about me too. We had a lot of fun times together didn't we? I had to see how you've been doing – how the years treated you. I – I was hoping we could...talk about a few things...and maybe – well... I was hoping you could give me another chance. I miss you Kalie."

She wanted to hyperventilate but that wouldn't be a good thing.

'Not now – oh PLEASE don't make me deal with this now! I haven't made a decision, I haven't finished college, I haven't told Inaki I love him...I still have homework to finish!'

She wanted to break it to Arthur and say she had a boyfriend and too-bad-so-sad. But she couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't look at him. The smile he gave made adrenaline run like it always used to.

She had to get out of here before ALL emotion came back. She was so confused and didn't know how to proceed. She nearly loved this man and being with him was the only familiar thing in her life right now. They had a past of tears and laughter, and those memories were more solid and easier to grasp than her relationship with Inaki.

If there was ever a better way to grasp the old her, Arthur was it.

She trembled at that realization. She was in love with Inaki, but old love was more powerful than new. If she wasn't careful, she might get swept in the tide. 'I've got to get out of here!!'

"I – I can't...answer anything...right now. I can't – can't think." She tried to stand, gripping the table to help. "I need to get back to my room. People are going to be visiting me soon...I need to be there before they worry."

A hand took hers as she swept by, being careful not jar her. "Every day since you broke up with me, I never considered us so. You never even told me to my face. You wrote a letter and mailed it to me. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? How cowardly that was?"

Tears lined her eyes and guilt intensified. Brown pinned on the doorway, wishing to get through. "You...hurt me...with everything you did. How did you...expect me to feel?"

Hearing shakiness in her tone, the chair shuffled back. "Kalie... I don't mean to be bad. I don't want to sound so horrible. Maybe you're reading it wrong." An arm carefully went around her back, the other directing her to his front. "I'm not that bad a guy am I?"

She shook as bad as she used to do and it was sending pricks of pain through her. His arm felt nice and she was thrown back to old behaviors, old times, and old love.

This was one time she would let the other take control, as the girl seemed stronger in this area than she ever would.

Brown forcefully looked to the hall. "I – I need to go..." She stepped out of his hold and tried not to run.

He intimidated her like he always did...why did she feel anything toward him??

It was said people went with what was familiar. Her father wasn't the nicest man on the planet, even if he was kind of decent. He didn't treat her mother right, but she thought he had until they fought.

Arthur was mildly decent, funny, kind person and she liked being around him when she wasn't like this.

How could one fight the urge to stay in that comfort zone, no matter what kind of zone it was, without being scarred in any way? She was proof it wasn't possible to get out of it undeterred.

Her room seemed farther away, but the need to get back didn't help. She was trying to keep from showing tears, but it was hard. She was relieved to know Arthur didn't follow her – she didn't know what she'd do if he did.

Pain intensified and she grimaced. The site was going to swell if it kept going. Her blood pressure was probably sky high from all this.

Goodie.

She stopped to take a few deep breaths, but her mind wouldn't clear. She kept seeing his face, hearing his voice, feeling his touch. Everything they shared came and she couldn't block it.

'Please...please don't make me deal with this again... Don't make me see this.' Brown squeezed shut and tears lined her lashes.

When was she going to catch a break?!

"Oh my god K – are you alright?!"

Slowly, she looked up, finding a pair of feet meeting her vision. She blinked and brown continued upward. Known jeans met her and she stared.

"You look rather pale. What happened? Mar and I went to your room and you weren't there. We asked the nurse what was going on and started looking."

Her shoulders slumped, a comforting presence soothing her anxiety. "Chance..."

"Kalie, sweetheart...let's get you back to bed."

Hands carefully touched her and she looked to the owner. "Marisol... What're you guys doing here?"

Chance gave a small grin and helped her rise. "We were playing hooky and thought we'd see you."

A hand wrapped around hers and squeezed. She felt more reassured, even if her mind was still peeling back the clouds to comprehension. "So you're playing hooky in a hospital? Kind of boring, ne?"

Marisol smiled. "It's not the place, it's the people."

Her lips twitched. They arrived at her room and she wished for a lock. She didn't know if Arthur would come after her or not, but she didn't want to chance anything right now.

She plopped on the bed, gritting her teeth against pain, as the other two pulled up chairs. "So...how's it going?" Chance asked.

She wanted to fall against the mattress or bang her head against the wall. Brown absently locked with the stack of texts.

All she wanted to do right now was bury herself in them.

But the nagging feeling of talking wouldn't give in and she had the distinctive urge to let this out. 'Which one of me is doing the nudging?'

She looked to the window, face glum. "Did either of you know Arthur works here?"

Both blinked, but Chance looked thoughtful. "Where have I heard that before?" A finger tapped her chin before recognition dawned. "Hey, wasn't he a boyfriend?"

"Ex-boyfriend."

Marisol grimaced at the dead tone. "Sweetie...you look stressed. That's not good in your condition." The girl shifted forward. "Did something happen between you two?"

She was silent, considering just how much to say. She didn't really do this with many people, but Chance and Marisol gave her good advice in the past when she needed direction. It couldn't hurt to see what this session produced.

"He...wants me to...take him back."

"I thought you were going out with Inaki."

"I am...kind of."

"Well then, problem solved. Just tell Arthur-boy so sorry and stop worrying."

How could she tell them what she was feeling? They would never understand her tangle of emotions, nor would they believe she was reincarnated from half of a soul.

Like she needed these two – the few friends she had – to think her a schizoid.

"It's...complicated. I'm kind of going through a hard time right now."

"We can both see that sweetheart, but how do you feel about Inaki?"

"I love him – I just have to get the guts to tell him."

"Then why are you getting worked up over your ex?"

"I almost fell in love with him too."

"Man what a soap opera!"

"Chance!"

"It's okay Marisol – Chance's right. My life IS a freaking soap opera." She leaned back and let the bed hold her up as brown stared at the ceiling. "I thought it was boring too."

"Well you've still got your wits about you." Chance quipped, grinning. "And if you're still levelheaded enough to crack sarcasm, you can get through this."

She wanted to look at the girl, but that would require sitting up and she didn't have energy to do so. "You have more faith in me than I do."

"Don't make it sound like such a big deal!" Chance argued, standing. She plopped at the edge of the bed and leaned over. "You're going out with Inaki. You're in love with him. You're almost graduated with a few degrees – both of which are rather hard in their own right. You have a lot going for you – despite the current situation – so you need to buck up and look positive."

She met the girl's eyes and stared. Sound advice, but easier said than done. She always thought more than felt, but with everything going on, the other life was prompting her to feel more and dissect less.

She WAS still in love with Inaki...but with everything going on in her head, he was pushed to the background. She hadn't thought about him until he showed up somehow and she was horrible for doing so.

She mentally startled as something came to attention. 'God, we've been going out for almost six months! And I've known him for almost a year and a half.' Stunned brown met stucco as she processed that.

So long it seemed, even if it was such a short time. Brown dulled and shifted to the window, watching afternoon shadows creep up.

She confided in him so much...but she couldn't tell him this. He was her link to a better life, and also the other's connection. One was a reason to keep him around, the other an excuse to push him away.

She couldn't let him get close because the other had a bad habit of being present and wanting to intervene.

But was that the reason she was keeping him away? First glance seemed simple ignorance. After all, she had a lot on – and IN – her mind. Still, none of this came about until his birthday.

The night they slept together.

Knowing she was ignoring the two when they so graciously stopped by, but unable to help with this insight, brown turned thoughtful and stared at the bed.

WAS she pushing him away? The feelings for him were there, but she gained a second set with the presence and didn't know what was hers anymore. Did she have her own emotions anymore? She didn't know what to think except his presence was comforting and THAT was hers.

In a way, she COULD point fingers if she wanted to get technical. The other wouldn't have been alive if she hadn't slept with him. Loving him would've been okay, as the other already did.

If this was that bridge that needed to be crossed...

Made sense if she dug around the other's memories. The girl was in love with the white-haired boy in her life, but nothing ever happened. Poor thing died a virgin, so that must've been the necessary boost to break her sleep.

It was too technical and too hypothetical for her to figure out. And it made her head hurt.

But she was granted one stem of logic from it all.

If she needed ANY reason for being so distant to the man she was in love with, it was as simple as saying he started all the chaos in her head. Nothing happened until that night and if she never met him, would have her own life. Granted, she would be not a full soul, but she would rather not know than have this.

It made perfect sense in some strange way. She never stayed around horrible things – who did? She pushed away those that got close or made her feel bad. Inaki was inadvertently turning her into someone else by awakening the rest of this past self. She swore after Arthur she wouldn't let anyone push her around or try to make her feel or be something she wasn't.

Adding Arthur into the equation made sense too. He may've made her feel bad, but she always overlooked it...enough to nearly love him. They shared a past and she was comfortable in his presence, when they weren't arguing at least.

She never took back an ex before, but if she was given the option to do with any of them, it would be Arthur. The need to be with him was a tiny spark in her heart, one she betted would never fully go away.

She had another choice to make. But she wasn't a two-timer, nor did she break up for reasons as petty as choosing someone over someone else.

But if it got her life back on track and made the voice stop antagonizing her – as she was still skeptical – she would do anything.

Even if she was alone in the end.

"Kalie? Sweetheart? Are you okay?"

She gave Marisol a small smile. "I just realized I've got a lot more on my mind than I thought."

Those thoughts did not help her attitude when visiting hours came around. She was rather pessimistic about it all now that she put conscious thought to reason.

She didn't want to pretend nothing was wrong when everything was. She wanted to be angry and fight, but didn't want to get physical.

The voice was absent, though she could feel it in the back of her mind. It was waiting for an answer and trying to be as patient as possible, but some times she could feel it start to come forward to talk and forced itself back.

Her dreams included more and more of the girl's life. They never stopped and she watched from normal to blatantly bizarre.

Almost every one included the white-haired boy.

She probably wouldn't be resisting so much if she had SOMETHING to go by. To know this voice had a valid point and wasn't trauma or severe nerves would be nice.

If only she could find proof that Inaki was the boy the presence was talking about. If she knew, if she could find proof, she might try to understand more. As of right now, she was almost passing it off as a mental disorder again.

Having the presence gone was such a nice change from being badgered in the conscious and subconscious realm. She couldn't get the dreams to stop, but didn't have to fight for possession. Language also remained English and she was thankful for that. This was a break in more than one – though one that wouldn't last.

She couldn't enjoy it while it lasted because she wasn't on vacation. She was given this leave to make a life-altering decision and it was annoying to know she was on a time limit. She couldn't just do that in the matter of a few weeks!

Did she REALLY want to lose herself and merge with someone who was different??

She fisted the mechanical pencil and resisted slapping it against the bed. A deep sigh beat back quiet. "This is getting me nowhere!"

'I can't even do my homework. That's more important right now! Are you listening to me?? If I don't have time to get a good education, all the thinking in the world isn't going to do a bit of good about the rest of my life!'

There was a thread of amusement and understanding, but the voice wisely stayed quiet as bargained.

She snorted in annoyance and went back to the outside world to ignore it. A knock on the door broke her from concentration five minutes later and her brow furrowed. "Come in."

The door swung open and Sam waltzed in. "How's my favorite roommate, best friend, and baby sister?"

She cracked a grinned. "How about your ONLY sister?"

"You're still sarcastic – that's a good sign."

She grunted, smile dimming a little at the one trailing behind.

"How's it going K?"

"Hello Inaki."

Brown blinked at the less than emotional tone. He watched as she looked to her homework and his brow furrowed in confusion. He popped on a smile, figuring she was having a bad time with all spread around her, and shut the door. "Delving into books AGAIN? Don't you ever get out?"

Her lips twitched at his playful tone. Even though her earlier realization gave her reason to push him away, he was fine as a friend.

"This IS my getting out. I'd rather get away and pass the time than sit and watch tv all day."

"That just sounds wrong, you know that right? Tv is your friend."

"Like you're bored enough to tell me that chica." She teased, eyeing her friend.

"I watch it more than you do. We brought you something."

Brown looked up and lighted at a wrapped package. It was newspaper but, hey, beggars couldn't be choosy.

She tore through it in no time, homework long forgotten, and stared wide-eyed at a box of chocolates in her lap.

"I know they might be unhealthy, but you need a treat."

Brown locked with light blue and a beaming grin slowly spread. "Have I ever told you how much I love your disregard for the rules?" A hand reached in and grabbed a piece, not caring what it was. She leaned back and set the box on her stomach, letting the treat melt a little.

She fully intended on enjoying this before devouring the whole set prior to tomorrow.

"Whatever they say about diamonds isn't true. Chocolate is a girl's best friend." She mused around a piece.

"Does that mean I know what to get you every time I visit?"

Brown shot to amused brown and she couldn't help but smile a little. "You would definitely get brownie points if you did. Mm...brownies." A hand plucked the box from her side and looked at the diagram. "God - thank you for making dark chocolate." She shifted enough to see inside and grabbed the chosen piece.

Sam giggled. "You don't even hoard sweets this much either." She ribbed, scooting a chair forward.

"I'll let YOU live in a hospital for two weeks and then we'll see how well you hoard real food. Preferably my cooking." A wistful sigh appeared. "I want my kitchen back!"

Sam laughed and patted a hand. "Give it another week or two chica and you should be back to normal."

"Here's wishing." Another piece was thrown to its doom.

He watched the exchange and felt slightly cut off, which was a little odd. He shouldn't have felt like a third wheel given the length of silence up to her time in the hospital.

She was never like this until today. Not in all the times he visited did she pay more attention to Sam than him. On the contrary, she was normally happy to see him, if not for the strange behavior.

"So how are your checkups going? Doctors like your progress?"

She sighed and looked his way, knowing she was acting rude. He may be the scapegoat, but he was still a nice person.

"They're 'pleasantly surprised' as they put it. Say I'm healing a little faster than what should be necessary for the severity." She snorted and resisted the urge to cross her arms. "Like they can pinpoint my recovery time. I'm not a group of people."

'Of course, that COULD be proven wrong right now...'

She had the worst timing in the humor department and resisted the urge to slap herself for that horribly corny thought.

Small talk was nice, but with people here she always felt like doing something.

Like now.

"Hey – what's it like outside??"

Sam changed thought from what she was talking about and looked to the late sun. "It's probably mid fifties I'd say. Why?"

Brown twinkled as she sat up. "Do you think we can get access to a roof from here?"

Raven swished. "That's only in the movies K. I highly doubt they'd have such an obvious road to the top."

She was undaunted. "Well SOMEONE has to be able to get up there to do work. Let's find it!"

The two jumped from their chairs as she stood. "Whoa chica, let's think here shall we? Security might get us before then and visiting hours are almost over."

"But neither of you will be in my room and I need a little fresh air. Wouldn't want to be caught in full view of the public like this."

"K, think here. The winds that high will make you sick!"

"That's an old wife's tale." She muttered, waving her good hand at him. His hand caught hers before it returned to her side and her gaze whipped to meet his. "K, I don't know what's gotten into you today, but for once I'm telling you to think before you react. Just WHY do you want to go up that high??"

_Rushing air._

_The feel of rising and falling._

_Coarse hair brushing her cheeks._

_The smell of mustiness from time, tree sap, and grass._

_Strong hands on her thighs, small pricks from nails trying not to cut her._

_Reassurance of knowing she wouldn't fall._

Her head shook. 'He wasn't asking YOU!' She retorted, forcing the memory back.

Her hand pulled from his as she turned to face him. "I just feel like it. Do I always have to think? I've done enough of it so much that I'm sick of it. I'd rather have an adventure to make memories with." She eyed the two before turning and heading outside.

Blue and brown met, shocked and daunted by the attitude.

"Was it me...or did I get bitched at?"

Sam forced herself not to smile. This was actually serious. "I think you just got bitched at." Her brow furrowed. "She must be going stir crazy is all I can say. I know I would go nuts if I had to stay in the same room for weeks on end."

He sighed and looked at the surroundings. They weren't lavish, but K did have her own room, which was nice. There was enough space for a single bed, nightstands, chairs, mounted tv on the far wall, good view from three stories up, and a connecting bathroom.

She wasn't exactly imprisoned here.

He tried to put himself in her shoes. Physical therapy and going through pain to get back to what she was. Nothing but tv and homework for most of the day until they stopped by. No way to leave until the doctors checked her out.

His lips pursed. He would probably go crazy too.

"I guess we can indulge her then..." He agreed, heading out. "So we'd better catch her before we're forced to play hide and seek."

"Aw, that sounds even better!"

He grinned and went for the lights. "You WOULD say that - you're easily amused."

Sam grinned and checked both sides, finding their friend standing a short distance away.

Nobody stopped them, but it DID take a little bit of white lies to keep anyone from asking questions as to why they were going to the top story.

Wind from twenty stories came the second she opened the door and she deeply inhaled. Leaving the others to secure it in case it didn't open, she jogged across gravel to check out the view.

"Careful K – don't go too far."

She ignored Inaki, though some part of her appreciated his concern, and took a wide stance to look at the ground below. Brown widened at ants greeting her. She kneeled as impact of how high they were occurred.

"Come check this out!" She called, grinning. She felt like a kid.

The sun was gorgeous as it was almost halfway down the horizon. She sat and cradled her left hand in her lap, arm going around her legs. Gravel wasn't the best thing to get cozy on, but she would endure it for the peace before someone got curious to her whereabouts.

'It's so pretty. I don't remember how many months it's been since I saw this...'

Stars were peeking out at the top of the sky and her neck craned back as much as possible to see them. She would've spread horizontal to keep viewing, but was torn on what to watch. She wouldn't have this good a view – even with all the city lights – until she was sprung.

The others sat on either side and she spared them a glance. Sam definitely looked nervous being less than ten feet from a death fall, but Inaki was staring at the sun at best as possible with a look of peace, though those brows of his made him look serious.

She blinked at his cross-legged position, hands in his lap. The world and every sense she owned changed again.

_Grass. Nearby daisies. Full starry night sky._

_Swath of red and black sitting by his lonesome staring at the distance._

_She didn't like the serious look on his face, as if he were brooding of something bad._

_"For tonight, wouldn't it be better not to be apart from everyone too much?"_

_"Quit yapping. Sometimes I have things to think about. ...What?"_

_"Do you still want to become a true youkai after all? At that time...I was scared."_

_"You bitch, what's with that remark! If I hadn't transformed then, everybody would have been devoured by Goushinki!"_

_"It's not like that... No matter how scary your face was...I wasn't scared about that sort of thing. It's like...I was worried that it was as if your heart had gone somewhere far away. That you might also forget about me...scared me."_

_"D - don't be an idiot. Whatever happens, I am me. There's no way I'd forget about you Kagome."_

She blinked and the real world suddenly came back. The touching scene showed an entirely different boy, but still the same inside. Brown snuck a look at Inaki, finding them identical.

'Why now? What was up with that vision?' The presence was heavy in her mind and it irritated her. 'I know you're there.' Silence met her, but it was expectant. 'What?'

Am I allowed to talk now?

The sarcasm was not appreciated.

'Only because I know you have something to say.'

You're so rude! The voice huffed, aggravation easily detected. Anyway, I showed you that because you wanted proof did you not? The man you know as Inaki is his human form.

'Whose?'

Inuyasha's.

'Dog...demon?'

_Black hair, dark as pitch. Human ears. Brown eyes._

_Massive shock._

_"What're you staring at, eh?"_

_"The dog ears have disappeared!"_

_"What's going on!? You appear to be almost human..."_

_"Bah! I don't have claws or fangs either."_

_"For half-youkai, there is a short period during which they lose the magical power of the blood flowing in their bodies. Because that is a matter of life and death, they never reveal that period to other people."_

_"What about my case!? If I had known about your body, I wouldn't have suggested coming into this youkai's nest. Couldn't you have trusted me either!?"_

_"I trust nobody! I've been living that way all along. You've no reason to be complaining..."_

_"I'm sorry... However...you could trust me a bit more..."_

They looked the same. God help her...they looked exactly alike!!

'Just...what are you...trying to say here??' She tried to retort. The shake, even in her thoughts, greatly dimmed it.

For some reason, he was born human. He WAS hanyou. His normal form is the one you see most often – white hair and yellow eyes. However, because he had human blood, he would turn human one night a month.

'Are you suggesting...no.'

Are you doubting my own memories? Essentially YOUR own memories?

'Those are not mine! How do I know I'm not making this all up in my head?? How do I know I'm not crazy??'

If the voice had eyes, she knew it would be rolling them. You wanted proof and I gave it to you. You wanted something to compare them with, I gave it to you. Are you ever going to stop denying and just believe in something?

'Did you do this with intent to try and sway me?'

There was another huff. I'm not cruel. Trust me when I say I understand about this. I was being forceful and I realize that. This is why I'm giving you the time you need to make a decision. This isn't easy and even I don't know what the consequences will bring.

'That isn't helping me you know.'

You're the logical one, you figure it out.

'I have! And I've still got so many questions with no answers! This isn't my realm, it's yours. I don't do all this philosophical crap! I do facts as I see them. That's all I need.'

Then isn't it time you needed something else?

She bit back a sigh and stared at the nearly disappeared sun. Brown solemnly looked to the stars, questions raging in her mind.

What did she need as opposed to what did she want? 'For starters, I'd like my LIFE back!' The voice stayed quiet on that one and she was glad. She didn't want any backtalk right now.

'Okay so I've got a few memories about the same figure sitting next to me.' Brown spied a glance, a little awed at how different he looked in such modern clothing. 'God, he looks so different without white hair. But it's the same length almost...if he grew it out another foot it would be the same.'

If Inaki took his braid out he might gain another inch or two. As it was, it was mid-back. There was another distinction with his hair like that. She wanted to undo his braid to see how he looked, but restrained the urge.

'How do I know this is the same one the other is looking for? She might be mistaken. People look like other people all the time.'

_Fair skin. Brown eyes, black hair._

_"Hn?"_

_"Let me see your face clearly. Try to look more intelligent."_

_'Shesh.'_

_"You resemble... Kikyou-onee-sama...."_

_"Huh?"_

-----

_"Settle this with a single blow, Kikyou. Like when you killed me."_

_"Kikyou... What are you saying, my name is..."_

_"Heh, what a disgrace, Kikyou..."_

_"Why you! You're mistaking me for someone else; I'm not this Kikyou person..."_

_"Go stuff it! No other girl smells that disgusting except... Hm? Kikyou is...not you..."_

_"You got it!? My name is Kagome. Ka Go Me."_

'And I'm not either of them.' She glowered to the stars. 'I SO didn't need that happy little reminder right now!'

She gave a quiet sigh and finally leaned back to rest over the rocks. The others were a little startled at the sudden movement, but she paid them no mind.

Okay, so this kind of thing happened before. This would be twice actually...but she was the only one doing the mistaking for the most part. Not to mention she was in a part of the world where she'd be sent to the loony bin before someone believed her.

She would like to test Inaki to make sure he was the one, but that wasn't exactly possible because she had no clue what it would take for her occurrences to happen to him. Flying by blind faith and the seat of her pants it was then.

'Time to do more thinking.'


	56. Ch 56

Three weeks was enough to drive anyone crazy and she was close to crawling the walls in boredom. How long did it take for one wound to heal??

'I am SO ready to get out of here!' If she could sign herself out, she would've, but only a doctor had that privilege.

It didn't help that all through the week after he spotted her, Arthur tried to approach her with what she assumed was conversation or ask to be taken back. At least she assumed. Every time she saw him or he tried to talk to her, she made some lame excuse and a hasty exit.

'Why am I such a coward??' She seethed. Hands gripped porcelain as her forehead lightly thudded against the mirror. 'This is causing me more stress than I want! I don't NEED this shit!'

The presence made itself known, but was silent. She was so used to it now it was almost second nature to ignore it. It's 'waking' usually meant there was something to say and was waiting for permission – as she was STILL thinking. It was honoring their deal so far, but she wondered if there was even an option.

If she said no, was it supposed to leave?

That didn't sit well with her, but she kept reminding herself she had a choice. There was always a choice. DECIDING was the issue.

She sighed and pushed away from the bathroom sink. A heavy hand flipped the light off.

She was almost depressed. "This sucks." She plopped on the bed and jerkily crossed her arms, wincing at the twinge.

The presence was still there, but the need to say something was absent. It was just around, almost comfortingly so. She stared at the back of the door, a brow slowly rising as she let herself be totally aware of it.

There was no urge for conversation, no emotion except small pleasantry.

Was this supposed to be a truce?

She rested on the mattress, eyes closing. 'Are you bored or something?'

A small chuckle sounded. All I have is time. It's kind of hard to be bored by just existing.

She groaned. 'Not the puzzles again. I have no energy to decipher your words. Just out with it like a normal human being. I know you're not, but just try.'

Ouch...how sarcastic of you.

'I'm not in a good mood.'

I can see that...and boy do I see. The ironic twists never cease.

'And what does that mean?'

Oh don't get mad at me. Root through my memories – you think you're the only one ever stuck between people?

She obliged, only because she was too tired to put up a fight and the ceiling vanished.

Capture. A cave. The smell of fur, the sight of leers and unsettling looks, sounds of pounding water covering the exit.

A boy she knew and liked – the one with her since the beginning. The boy she was taken away from by another for the simple purpose of hunting shards.

"W – what?"

"Kagome...you said your name was... Now that I take a good look at you, you've got a cute face."

"Hah?"

"Okay then. You be my woman."

Brown opened and white stucco greeted her. She sighed. 'You have it as bad as I do, don't you?'

There was self-exasperation. These things follow you your whole life sadly. Search further and you'll see more.

With plenty of time to kill, she indulged, wondering where this was going.

"Fear not Inuyasha, I won't suffer something like that again. Besides, Naraku won't be able to kill me. Not while Onigumo's heart, his heart that yearns for me, still remains..."

Talk about love triangles. 'So, Naraku wanted Kikyou – ew by the way – and Inuyasha wanted Kikyou. But later on, he also wanted you, and so did Kouga. But you wanted Inuyasha and so did Kikyou.'

Pretty much correct.

'And I thought MY love life was screwed up.' Brown widened. 'Man, that's not giving me any more incentive to be you if that kind of stuff flocks with.'

As you said, you have it as bad as I do. That man you used to see doesn't treat you very well does he? I never dated so I don't know.

'To coin you, search and you'll see.'

Very funny. Do you even know how to deal with him?

She sighed and rolled right. 'You can see through my eyes... All I want to do is curl into a ball and hide whenever he's around. He makes me feel like I'm a kid that needs to be patronized and I hate it! I hate feeling like this with him, but I have no clue what to say or do to get him off my back.'

It's easy - treat him like a human being.

She scoffed. 'First off, I need the strength to DO that. If you'll notice, I'm not as strong as you are in that area. But I know now I can't keep being around him since this is all I feel, and I don't want Inaki to know what's going on. So...I'm open to ideas.'

There was a span of silence, but she sensed words right under the quiet. You know...you could always let...ME handle it.

She immediately wanted to say no. This was HER body and she had absolute rights to it, other half of her soul or not. But...this was the first time she was being asked for allowing possession. She did say last time when forced back in this same room that the other never asked.

It would prove interesting to see how it dealt with people of this time and location, and also how Arthur would be pacified to leave her alone from now on. It was worth a shot and she would be glad to get this anxiety gone.

'I'll allow it. On two conditions. One – you allow control without being forced back when you finish, and two – I have enough control to see what you do.'

Why do you want to see? Why don't you just do it yourself?

'I want to see as a trial of what you'd do with my body. I procrastinated an answer because I don't know what would happen and don't want to stop being me. But this will help decide what to do.'

Agreed then.

It was amazing how hard it was to find something – or someone – when you were actually looking for them. Why was it every time you were minding your own business, something you'd been looking for popped up in front of your nose?

Thankfully, Arthur wasn't busy when he was spotted. There was relief from both. Though she could coach the other through, they were liable to screw up and get some attention if thought conversation turned into speech.

It was really weird to watch, smell, and hear everything going on around but have no control over movement. It was like a puppet yanking her in the direction it wanted. At least she conceded this time...

He saw them coming and gave a smile. "Hey K. I thought you were taking a nap."

"Couldn't sleep, had too much on my mind. Listen...Arthur...can I talk to you for a minute somewhere?"

Arthur looked a little confused, but nodded and turned to put the file back wherever he picked it from and left the nurse's station. "I'm all yours."

She mentally flinched at that, but reminded herself she was not in control. Just a spectator and was thankful.

Her other merely smiled, though she knew encouraging Arthur wasn't a good idea. She didn't say anything though, just remained wary. "I know someplace we can talk without being interrupted. If you can keep a secret."

Arthur smiled and then the view changed to the hallway. "I've kept quite a few secrets - namely yours. You can trust me."

She was getting a lot of wrong impressions the other was sending. Whether in words, body language, or looks. This was not a good thing, but was still too early in the game to make decisions. Besides, she DID make a deal.

They ended up on the roof and she didn't know why, but should've known. It WAS beautiful up here and she wanted to look at the afternoon view, but Arthur took that precedence.

A hand touched her ex's and lightly gripped it. She mentally startled, nearly in panic zone. 'What are you doing?! Bad...no, no, no!'

I know what I'm doing.

That self-assured tone mildly pacified her, but she was still uneasy. 'I sure hope so...'

"Arthur. I know I've been avoiding you lately and I apologize. Like I said, I had a lot on my mind...plus my schoolwork and this wound isn't making it easy for me."

"You always study too much. You need to learn to lighten up you know. You did when you were with me, remember? You can be that way again you know."

'He's right. I WAS less focused than when I was single.'

Her other smiled and gave the hand a squeeze. "Please...let me say what I need to say. I ask you not to interrupt." The view briefly changed to the roof before returning. "I'm flattered at your offer, really I am."

'No! Don't say that!'

"But I have to confess, I don't feel the same as I used to for you."

'Eh??'

The smile turned compassionate. "We had a lot of fun times together and I'll always remember that, but we can never be who we were again. Some relationships just can't be rebuilt."

'Are you trying to shoot yourself in the foot here??' She would've smirked if she could've.

Uresai! I know what I'm doing I said!

"You're serious? Is this your final decision?"

The other nodded. "I put a lot of thought into it and I have to tell you something you probably don't know. There's a boy who comes to visit me with long black hair. He's my boyfriend. I'm in love with him too. I hope you don't feel led on. I've been too muddled to think clearly, but I'm getting better at it." Arthur did most certainly not look happy at that news, but didn't burst at the seams and shout at her for not saying a word. The other was correct at least - she WAS too jumbled to make coherent thoughts! "I didn't mean to hurt you and if I did, I'm sorry. You don't deserve it and you deserve someone who can devote themselves to you like you need."

Angry eyes filled her vision and she tried to shrink back, but couldn't get far without disappearing entirely. "That's a load of shit! Are you trying to tell me what's best for me?? How do you know you aren't it?!"

There was a beat of silence and she would've held her breath if she could've. She sensed a lot of compassion and almost wished to be beside herself to see the look on her face. Whatever it was had Arthur's anger cooling in small degrees the longer quiet remained.

"Because we weren't happy, were we? Think back. We had fun times mixed with bad times. I want to keep the good times and you should too. Let's leave it at that and remain the way we are."

Silence was tense and thick – at least she thought so. She was on the proverbial edge of her seat in expectation. Would Arthur accept that and distance himself to friendship? Would he never see her again during her time here? The hand covered the one holding his and his hold tightened. Her other waited with baited breath as well, but had a reason. The outcome of this would help decide how they would fare in the real world if she accepted the remainder of her soul.

She had to admit, so far the other was doing a LOT better than she ever would...

"Did I ever make you happy?"

She almost missed the quiet administration, but sobered and focused. 'Yes...he did. Very much.'

Her other hand rested over the top of the pile. "Very much so. I don't regret anything we did, but time passes. I'd like to remain friends if you don't mind, but I must move on. Is it too much to ask you to do the same?"

She wanted to cringe at that last statement. Keeping it in first person was better and kept accusation off the other. She learned this a long time ago when dealing with people. That last sentence might've shot everything to hell.

Arthur surprised them both by taking her into his arms and holding her tight. Her face burned and she was amused. 'Never been held by a man before?'

Yes, shut up! But...not that many times...

HE floated in her memory. Tender moments made her heart melt – if she was in possession of it anyway – and she understood. 'You are so deprived.'

Uresai!

Arthur finally let go enough to look at. His eyes were solemn, but resigned. "If this's what you really want, I won't come between you and another man. I don't want this to be goodbye, so...I'll see you around sometime."

The other smiled again, but she was a little panicked at the closeness. 'Move back! Move back!!'

Wha – AH! His lips missed just in time. Her head turned enough for him to get her cheek and it pulled away after a split second. He released her with a soft look before striding to the door. What the hell?! Do all ex-couples kiss each other goodbye?? The nerve of him!

'Get over it. This IS America after all. And you're not in your own time anymore.' The other wasn't pleased, but she ignored it. 'Head back to the room, we're finished here.'

She dreamed of the other's life as always, combined with the previous soul's memories, and ended up waking from a few more horrifying spots. She tried to get back to sleep, but her shoulder ached a little and it was too late for drugs, which would keep her under the whole day.

"I guess it's time to get up." She mumbled through a sigh. She sat up slowly, not wanting to be disorientated, and checked the light peeking under drawn curtains. It was just noticeable and cast enough for her to make out shapes.

Dawn was here.

It was hours before therapy – not even a Sunday off – and she couldn't handle food for a while, so opted for the only thing to do around this boring institution.

The roof it was.

Fresh air helped wake her better than coffee and she sat close to the edge again. Arms went around legs near her chest as she stared at the horizon, content to let time slip and the sun to rise for her.

Seriousness bled at the events from yesterday. With the presence 'asleep' for now, she mentally resolved to get a decision. Whether it took up homework time and invaded her life, so be it.

This was going to end, one way or another, today.

She went over everything in her head so many times she already knew pros and cons. It boiled down to being used to the idea of fully being herself - yet not - and accepting what may come. Brown turned thoughtful and distressed as she dissected whatever could happen. She had no clue and was taking a big leap of faith here. If ever there was a time she believed in anything, now would be it.

'I just...don't want to be anyone but me. I do like who I am deep down and don't want to change my whole life for someone else. Not like what's suggested. Can't there be a compromise?'

A hand loosely clasped at her chest as brown burned. If she could wish, she'd wish for that. A way to keep herself, but absorb some good things the other had. It wasn't bad, just a little pushy.

She stared at the sun for what seemed eternity. It went from a slit on the horizon to full-fledged ball. In that time, she ran everything through her head a final once-through to gain clarity. Brown closed and her brow furrowed. She mentally dug deep, trying to find the presence instead of letting it come to the surface. 'Hey, wake up. I've got something to say.'

There was a sense of grogginess, which mildly amused her. Did apparitions sleep too? An odd thought.

Nani ka?

'I've made my decision.'

That got full attention and also gross expectation. ...And??

This was it. Her life would hopefully go back to some semblance of normal after this. There would be no more extra voice in her head; soon this body would only house one mind. She took a deep breath, though speech wasn't intended. She reached for courage and clasped what she could find.

'I accept.' Silence answered her and she blankly stared in wonder at what would happen now.

A deep, unnamed emotion hit and nearly made tears come to her eyes. Arigatou...arigatou gozaimasu...

Nothing happened and she wondered how long it was going to take for whatever to occur. 'Do you jumpstart something?' She queried, fighting a yawn. She was suddenly drowsy for feeling rather awake a second ago.

Go back to sleep. When you wake, everything will be over.

She blinked. 'Just sleep? That's so easy.'

You won't think so soon.

My house is a very old shrine. We four - jii-chan, mama, and my young brother - are living together. The sacred tree at our shrine is five hundred years old and this concealed well - apparently with a complex history - all have their own history of origin. But...no matter how often I hear jii-chan say 'it's history starts with', I completely forget. I haven't even thought about the reason why I keep forgetting them until today, when I became fifteen.

-----

'_I'm an only child. I live with my mother and father in a two-bedroom house near this school. I have no pets, but I do study a lot, so it takes up the same amount of time. I want a field in history of some kind because I love reading and talking about it. I lead a rather boring life, at least I think so. There's a lot I wish to do to make up for how boring a person I am, but I don't know how much strength I'll have when the time comes. I just hope I can find it somewhere and make something of myself._'

_-----_

You're mistaking me for someone else, I'm not this Kikyou person...

Kikyou is...not you...

You got it!? My name is Kagome. Ka Go Me.

-----

"Hi. Name's Brad - I'll be your partner on this little trip."

"My name is K."

"Cool, I get a nickname? Do I get the real name too?"

"It's...it's Kalie."

"You don't talk much do you?"

"I have no need to..."

"Well you realize you have to make some verbal effort on this project right?"

"I KNOW."

"Whoa, okay...so you have a backbone."

"Can we get started now?"

-----

Owowowow.

Hn?

A child...

What're you doing you heretic!

A tail...

Ah!

Damn, it's just a disguised young tanuki.

I'm a kitsune!

Cu - cute... Let me hug him next okay.

-----

"Name's Samantha Merth – come on in. Let me give you a quick tour of the place... If there's any questions you have, don't hesitate to tell me to shut up so you can speak."

"So? What's your opinion? I moved here not too long ago myself to start college and to get out of the house. My parents help me with the rent a little and I've got financial aid, but I don't want to rely on just that to pay the bills. I'm flexible with rent, but I gotta tell ya, I don't want you skimping out just because I can be a nice person."

"I'll take it."

-----

Wh - what're you doing!

Please put your mind at rest. I am one in the service of Buddha. I am not a suspicious person. When I tried to take the Shikon fragment, you came along with it.

Hey you, don't make it sound as if I were a freebie... Inuyasha! Let go!

Sure.

-----

"Hi...you're new here aren't you?"

"Yea...I guess. Do you two want to sit here?"

"Well since you offered - sure."

"I know you, don't I?"

"Hal here? You have a class with him if I remember. That's why we came over - he wanted to say hello."

"Sheryl!"

"What? Admit it."

"ANYWAY... So...what's your name?"

"It's Kalie...but you can call me K."

_-----_

_So you're that asshole Inuyasha, huh! I'll exterminate you!!_

_Wha..._

_S - Sango!_

_Eh... Someone from the town!?_

_Hiraikotsu!_

-----

"Didn't your parents teach you it's not polite to stare?"

"I - I'm sorry sir - "

"I was just kidding. I don't mind... By the way, what's your name?"

"People around here call me K."

"Inaki."

-----

You...dragged me out... I...did not intend to wake up again...

You're really Kikyou...are you?

Inu...yasha...Inuyasha... Why did you betray me!?

Wha!? You're saying...I betrayed you!?

That is why I gathered my power while at death's door to seal you away... We shouldn't have ever met again by chance...

-----

"If you don't like this marriage...the door's right there!"

"I'm not the one screwing it up! How can you tell me to leave like that?! I didn't do a damn thing to make you behave this way! Why are you doing this to me??"

"Maybe I'm tired of all this...did you think of that? Maybe I needed a change!"

"Don't give ME that bullshit! You're lying!"

"Don't call me a liar!"

"Oh Kalie – honey...what're you doing up so late?"

-----

Confess up Kagome. Why kind of guy are you seeing?

He's a low-grade guy. He's violent, selfish, and offensive. He also gets really jealous.

But, getting jealous means that he loves you doesn't it? That person's devoted to you Kagome.

If he was...then I could put up with the rest...

What!? He's not!?

There was someone he loved a long time ago, but it seems he can't forget about her...

Hang on! Who is this guy!?

Kagome, why are you seeing a guy like that?

Eh?

You gotta break up! That kind of guy is no good. Don't you ever meet him again!

Eh? But...

Keep quiet and listen. He's the worst possible sort isn't he. He's violent and selfish isn't he!? He's even two-timing you!

Tha - that's true, but... Bu - but he has some good points too. He's quite nice. He's strong and reliable too.

Do you...love him?

-----

"No, no you don't understand. I have a crush on someone who lives forty miles in the MAINLAND. FORTY...it'll never work out! It's not fair!!"

"So? That's what Sam's car is for. How did you meet him anyway?"

"I've known him for months. And he's been down to see me all but once. You met him at the Halloween dance."

"HIM!? You've got a crush on the HUNK?? And you're whining about THAT? I should think you'd be happy! You two are friends – that's an easy in right there!"

"We may be friends, but I would not use that as a way to date him for one. I'm pretty sure he likes me in that way on SOME aspect because we almost kissed twice...but I don't know for sure. I'm – I'm also not sure about that anyway."

"If you have feelings for him of some kind, and you think he likes you, why not try for it?

"Well...there's been...crap that happened in my life...stuff with dating mostly...and it kind of scarred me to the whole idea."

-----

While on the other side...I was thinking a lot. About you Inuyasha, and Kikyou, and...about me...

Kagome... I...

I know. Because I understand your feelings...I thought I couldn't stay here in the Sengoku Jidai anymore.

Kagome...until I met you, I couldn't trust anybody. But you cried for my sake. You were always by my side, for me. I enjoy it when you're here - I feel at ease. However...I mustn't laugh and enjoy things. Kikyou... I have to...risk my life for Kikyou in return.

Yes...I can't compete with Kikyou. After all, because I am alive. Kikyou and I are totally different. I'm apparently Kikyou's reincarnation also...I am not Kikyou. My heart is my heart. But you know, there is just one thing about Kikyou's feelings that I understand. Like me...I want to see you again Inuyasha. Somehow, when I thought 'aren't both Kikyou and my feelings the same?', I felt a bit better. So I thought 'aren't our feelings of wanting to see you the same?' That's why I gathered my courage and came to see you. Inuyasha...Let me ask just one thing.

Eh...

May I be with you?

You'll...be here for me?

Yes...

-----

"Inaki –"

"Yea?"

"I was...wondering recently..."

"What's wrong K?"

"Nothing's wrong. I was wondering recently...about you and me."

"You sure this is nothing bad?"

"I just realized...well I'm a simpleton when it comes to these matters but –"

"I'll restate this again for the record. You can tell me anything or ask me anything; all you have to do is ask."

"Lately, I was pondering...what you...how you felt...about...me."

"Kalie...I... I comprehended something very important about myself AND you that day at the beach." Her brow furrowed. "I never told you, but now that you're asking, I will. I almost lost you and I realized how much I liked being around you. I like hanging out with you and being with you, even if we don't do a thing. If you left me, by death or not, I wouldn't be able to handle that. A lot of people where I live know that I'm searching for that one person to be with. It's like my personal obsession verging on the borderline of annoyance. I've gone through so many girlfriends – you know this – because of that reason. But I knew I found the one I wanted when I knew I almost lost you."

-----

I'm just an ordinary girl...aren't I?

"I'm so tired of being hurt all the time."

I can fight too!

"I WON'T let anyone else control me again."

That light...did I do that??

"I don't want to be anyone but myself...but is this how to live? How should I live?"

It's true...I really am Kikyou. But, I'm still myself!

"With all that's gone on in my life...will I ever find the light in these dark clouds?"

I'm not Kikyou - I'm not!

"I've never excelled in much...but I'm still willing to try!"

I'm Kagome and I always will be. I just have to remember that.

"I don't want to live like this...there has to be something better out there."

No...I don't want to die just yet! This can't be the end, can it? After so long, so many adventures...

"But I don't know where to look. I can't keep thinking and acting like this. I'm tired of pushing people away."

I love you Inuyasha...I always have and I always will.

"Inaki...he's done so much for me. I don't want him to worry about me anymore."

I don't want this to be the end! I haven't had my chance yet!

"I wish there was something I could do for him. I love him so much it almost hurts."

Please gods...give me a second chance...

"I'd do anything for him. He makes me complete - I don't ever want him to leave. I want to be by his side."

Inuyasha...I want to be with you always.

"Let me do what it takes..."

"Let me be with you forever."

"How long has she been like this??"

"About ten hours. We don't know the cause of it. Her vitals are good, but there's a LOT of brain activity and we've been monitoring it."

"Did you manage to find anything?"

"Just that it seems to be going...down."

"Down? What the hell does that mean??"

"Inaki...please."

A clipboard rose for the doctor to see. "Down as in receding. Down as in it's less than when we first caught it."

Brown looked less than amused at being patronized. "I get it." He grit out.

"At any rate...seems it's almost back to normal. We have her on watch, but let us know while you're here if anything happens. Keep the nurse's button close at all times."

He nodded. "Count on it."

The doctor left them alone and he dropped into the chair, hand covering his eyes. He sighed, feeling exhausted. "I thought she would be healed by now. What's with the comas??"

Sam sighed and stared at her best friend, willing her to wake. "I don't know, but she's adding years to my life. I REALLY don't need this kind of stress."

He couldn't help but smile, even though this was no laughing matter. He heaved another sigh and looked to the bed. K's skin tone was healthy, her wound was healing fine, and her face didn't have stress-lines...

Just what the hell put her in this condition??

All the emotions he associated with her rose as he stared and brown closed as a dull ache settled behind his eyes. 'I need more sleep.'

The barest of shifting caught his attention and irritation seemed to leave as quickly too. He disregarded that and avidly stared at the bed, finding Sam hovering.

"Chica! Puede oirme??"

No oxygen mask covered the girl's face and her lips parted. "Tsuini, koko...da..."

He sat up, ears perked. Sam wasn't happy at the slip of languages, but he cataloged it all. He never got answers like he wanted of how she knew so much and fully intended on getting them as soon as she was healed enough to quiz.

The chair scuttled a few inches closer and he grabbed a hand. Brown sluggishly moved and locked. She stared, gaze slowly softening. The barest of smiles graced her face. "Konnichi wa..."

Relief hit him. She was awake and things could get sorted out later. "Hey... How're you feeling?"

The smile widened as she gave him more attention. "I've...seen better days."

"Do you want me to get a nurse?"

Her head shook a degree before brown stared at the ceiling. "No...I don't need anyone but those I know and love."

His eyes widened a little. His heart fluttered, but he told himself not to get his hopes up. She probably wasn't referring to him with that last part anyway. "Your mom hasn't been told about this lastest twist. We didn't know whether you wanted her here."

She gave an absent nod, eyes darkening a little. "You were right. But perhaps it's time she was clued in on a few things."

Light blue widened in shock. "K?? Are you feeling alright? I know that's bad to say as you just woke up from a coma..."

Brown swung to her friend. She gave a little smile and offered her bandaged hand, giving a squeeze. "For the first time in my life, I'm just fine."

Sam looked more than relieved, though the weirdness wasn't far from her mind.

"Sam...do you mind if I talk to Inaki alone for a bit?"

Ash blond swayed in a nod. "I'll be right outside and don't think I'm going to be long or very far."

She struggled to sit, unable to hide a grin. "I know you won't be."

The door quietly clicked shut, but that was disregarded as she sunk back on raised pillows and slightly elevated mattress. "I will be SO glad to get back to my own bed." She muttered, eyes tiredly closing.

The merging took more out of her than she thought.

"How are you feeling? Really?"

Fingers entwined with his at contact and clutched them. "I'm wiped out...but all I need is sleep." Brown looked to the window and widened. "Ano...how long was I unconscious for?"

"The doctor said ten hours. Listen, K...there's a lot you owe me and Sam explanations for. You realize this right?"

She nodded, finally looking at him. "I know this. I've been horrible to both of you and I apologize. But I'll make it up to you and tell you what I can when I sort out how."

Whether or not that was a good idea was unknown, but right now these new emotions were creating an awful lot of guilt and she felt compelled to act on it and see what it made her do.

"And you know you need to tell just HOW you got so fluent in Japanese." A fake grin popped up to cover his unease. "As nice as it is to have that communication bridge, you're no prodigy."

A raven brow rose, but she didn't let irritation get to her. She snorted. "Like I said, I'll explain it later." She let go of his hand and used both to help herself up, mindful of the shoulder. It was a small task and took a sum of energy, but this would be worth it.

"K? What're you doing?? You shouldn't be up if you're not feeling up to it."

"I don't care about all that." She twisted a little to meet him, face softening. "Stand up and get over here."

Brown stupidly blinked. "Are?"

"Look, don't make me get up and come to you. I'm not in the mood for that."

He dumbly stood and took a step closer, mind confused and trying to put pieces together. What was with this sudden spunk and attitude? "Kalie what is the matter with –"

Her lips attached themselves to his almost aggressively. Her torso pressed against his, arms going around his waist with total disregard for her injury. She missed this, and it was even more gratifying to do this with a whole soul and revitalized emotions for this man.

When she finally pulled away, he almost pouted. That was one hell of a kiss and it was like he was the oasis in a desert. He nearly panted to get his breath back, arms going around her as she rested against his chest.

"I missed you. It's so good to see you again."

Raven furrowed as he pinned the view an anxious and confused look. "K...what do you mean? I was here Saturday. And last weekend too. I've been staying in your room all weekend for the past three weeks."

She smiled and nuzzled his shirt a little. "Lucky. At least SOMEONE gets to sleep in my bed."

Her amiable behavior was setting off warning bells and arms forced her to viewing length as he stared at brown. He was taken aback at that and gave her a good once-over.

He didn't question the hair change - it looked kinda nice on her really, but didn't notice the eyes with all that happened. He thought he saw a trace of them in certain lighting and always attributed it his mind playing tricks on him. K didn't like contacts and she had green eyes.

But now they were dark brown - just like his.

"Kalie...what the hell happened to you??"

She looked away and moved back from his hold. "Sumimasen..."

"For what?"

"Scaring you." A hand cupped his cheek. "I've been too involved with myself while I was here, and months before that...hontouni gomen nasai."

His palm went over hers, feeling smooth skin, and continued to stare. "You ARE scaring me." He confessed. "You never tell me anything you know. I'm always left wondering exactly what is going on in your head. The few times I tried to talk to you, your behavior was too off-balanced to grasp. And now you say you're fine? What do I have for believing that?"

Gods help him but her eyes teared over and she sat away from him.

She shouldn't be so hurt by his words or tone, but all these emotions weren't making it easy. They were too new and she needed the remainder of the evening to sort them out and come to terms with the rest of her soul.

The memories would be easy to get over. She dealt with them long enough to consider them hers – as they were already. But the emotions kept from her for twenty-one years were like a tsunami.

Again, her guard slipped and she started crying in front of him.

She nearly launched herself at him, arms going around his waist in a way she used to do to him in the very distant past. As always, he was too surprised to react, but this man had enough emotional stability to return the embrace.

"I know I treated you horribly! I'm really sorry for doing so...and I don't expect you to forgive me. You're my boyfriend and I haven't been acting like your girlfriend very much. Gods, I even purposely ignored you for the chaos in my head!"

Her use of his kami and that questionable statement about mental instability gained his attention. But whenever she cried, his defenses dropped. "Maa maa, daijoubu desu. You've been through a lot and I should be more understanding."

Her head shook. "Even before that, I pushed you away. Sore o hontouni gomen nasai... I was so confused and I took it out on you." Her grip tightened. "Please forgive me...I don't think I could live with myself if you didn't."

Her use of his culture - and so venomously at that - was overwhelming, but under the circumstances, he did pretty good. "It's okay Kalie, I forgive you."

Hopeful brown looked to brown. This was the first step to repair all the damage her half-self did and if she screwed this up, she could kiss her third chance with this man goodbye. "Really??"

He chanced a grin. "Really really." He was rewarded with probably the most passionate kiss they ever shared, even after their few intimate times together.

Just as it was getting good and he let himself fall into it, the doorknob clicked and squeaked a tad.

"I told you I wasn't taking too long, so wrap up whatever you were doing so I can come in."

Oddly enough, K pulled away as if embarrassed to be caught kissing him, even if Sam had full knowledge of what they were doing. He looked at her strangely, finding a blush, but turned at smelling something from the doorway.

"I chanced a quick stop nearby. Don't tell the doctors I smuggled this in for you."

Brown lit up as she beamed and scooted to the edge of the bed. Reserves were called upon as her friend set a paper bag on the edge of the mattress. "Wai! You didn't have to Sam – you could've gone to the cafeteria and I would've been happy."

Said female conceded a smile. "Except you need a treat and I felt like spoiling you now that you're awake."

Brown teared and she gave the girl an impromptu hug, surprising the Cuban. "Thank you so much! You've always had what's best for me in mind."

Sam gave the girl a quick pat before being released and ignored for something more important. "Don't I know it. And you always ignore that fact too." She plopped in a chair and assumed a high-and-mighty pose. "But it's nice to be reminded that I know what's best for you."

She couldn't help a grin.

This wouldn't be so bad. Sam wasn't far off from some people she befriended during time travels, so the friendship could continue like it had. Inaki forgave her, but she still owed him explanations.

She owed them ALL explanations...starting with Ella. The woman may never really have been the mother she as used to having – not like mama – but it was time to cut out the estrangement.

All that would have to wait until she got checked out, and if she tapped into the 'accessories' to her soul, she might be able to be out of here before the remainder of the week was over.

She needed to make a stop at Inaki's as soon as possible as well. Even though she owed everyone answers, she wanted some as well...and there was only one miko she knew of who had them.

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Nani ka? What is it? Tanuki-Racoon Sengoku Jidai-Warring States Era Tsuini, koko...da...-Finally, I'm...here/I'm...here, finally... Are?-Huh/What?

Sumimasen-I'm sorry/Forgive me/Excuse me Sore o hontouni gomen nasai-I'm really sorry for/about that

**Spanish language will be translated underneath when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.**

**Translations: **Puede oirme?-Can you hear me?


	57. Ch 57

It was almost like some kind of dream. She lived in that hospital for what seemed forever until she badgered the doctors and nurses to harassment. This was happening, yet it didn't seem to be.

Nostalgia central as they pulled into the driveway. Inaki's car was in the street and she eyed it along with the neighborhood as she got out. Everything was normal; nothing changed. Was she expecting it to be? From so much in such short time, she was so different. Was she expecting things to go with her?

"Careful - don't slam the door that hard."

"I know, I know, I'll hurt the car."

"Not that...don't want you jarring your shoulder."

She gave Sam a smile for the thoughtfulness and followed the two up the stairs. Brown looked at every detail. She lived here, but more than half of her hadn't. It was strange enough the first time the rest of her soul took control and used all the information the rest of her had, but this was something she had to live with.

She smiled at how foolish she thought before and nodded thanks to Inaki for holding the screen open. All those insecurities and wonderings seemed a lifetime ago. In the span of two days, she managed to get a grip on all emotions surrounding her and a feel for who she should've been born as.

Her outlook on things definitely improved. The rest of her soul held so much in it and she was amazed the negativity before. Upon realizing that, she had the biggest inclination to hug everyone she knew and thank them for knowing her...too bad she was stuck in the hospital at the time.

Her eyes teared at recognition and emotion coming. This was home, or at least home away from home. She quickly closed brown to keep from looking like a total loony. Sure it was nice to be back after so long, but they would think this was overkill. How could they understand what she was feeling after everything? They would never because they weren't her and didn't have the same issues.

Well...ONE person did...

She stuck a peek at black as he passed for the stairs and eyed the form before he vanished to the second floor. She was no longer certain who that man was - she KNEW who he was. The only issue was whether or not to tell him about his other selves.

The first half of her - the one who knew him as Inaki - didn't want to. It venomously denied and wished to tape her mouth for many reasons. Inaki was so different than his others it was staggering. He also didn't need the kind of torture she was put through for the past two and a half months. If her life was torment, his would be hell with what she knew the others would force upon him.

A hand covered her mouth to hide the smile, though it was no laughing matter. The boy she knew - the larger half of her knew - would be cruel and merciless until getting his way. She knew him enough to know that and finding out the human form was 'such a sissy' in this life, would irritate him to no end.

But that boy...brown turned wistfully sad, yet longing. How she missed him! Being able to be with him like she always desired - with her first life out of the picture - was such a treat. She got the happy-ever-after she wanted, but what would he say to it being in this time, place, and body? She always said she preferred his normal over the other he wanted, and the one SHE wanted. Would he think her lying because she fell in love with the human side? She didn't want to make him think that's what she wanted, what the first part of her soul wanted.

If Kalie was born from Kikyou, and Kagome was that nagging presence which wouldn't go away, there was going to be issues.

She could imagine his betrayal. If the Kagome side told him about the hanyou form, he would accuse her of trying to change him. But...if Kalie said she loved him and explained what happened from that last battle - of how her situation came to be...he would accuse the Kikyou-Kalie side of wanting him human after all.

She was so torn and though she promised to say something, the Kalie side didn't want her to. Couldn't they just stay this way? She had him with no interruptions or distractions - none anymore - and he was as loyal as his last life. She could be happy with him and keep the memories of all they shared long ago.

A hand on her shoulder made her jump, but her injury healed enough to not worry about ripping open. The skin graph was quite effective and there would be no problems with her body rejecting it, as it was her own tissues cloned to heal her.

"You okay K? You're spacing out. If you have something to say to Inaki, then go upstairs."

Brown narrowed in confusion. "I - no I don't really. Why do you say that?"

"Because you've been staring at the upper floor since he went up there."

She gave a sheepish grin. A hand reached up and patted Sam's. "I would like to spend some time with him if you can stay down here for a bit..."

Sam was a little stunned at the abrupt, confident tone, but elbowed the girl. "I see, I see. Well I think I'll step outside if THAT'S the case."

"EH?? NO!" She nearly shrieked, cheeks flaming. Just when she thought Inaki helped her past that already... "No you hentai, I'm only going up to talk to him! He said we needed to talk and I think it's time I oblige him."

Sam giggled and waved her anger off. "Don't stress yourself already. You know I'm just kidding. Sheesh, your temper flared worse from your time in traction."

She tried not to pout. So she had a temper! She got that from the remainder of her soul and it was also an effect of the connection. She couldn't do anything about that! "Humph. I'm going upstairs now - and no listening in!"

"Okay, okay! Spoil my fun..."

She harshly swallowed, prayed for the courage she used in the distant past, and headed up. Inaki would've heard that exchange, and she was going to sock him one if he thought to laugh at her!

She calmed at seeing him move within the confinements of the bathroom and headed that way, wondering what he was doing in there. Raven furrowed in confusion at seeing him close the cabinet. She stared at it, seeing her other lives reflected there in her looks - knowing she was and wasn't those two girls - before giving him her attention as the mirror moved out of sight.

"Why are you rooting through there?" Brown met hers and her heart fluttered, though concern inched when fingers met the bridge of his nose and his eyes squeezed shut. "Daijoubu?"

"Aa." Using strength to ignore the throbbing in his skull to pacify her, he pasted a smile on and pulled his hand away. "Didn't you hear Sam telling me I could have an aspirin?" Brown rolled under her blank look. "Guess not."

He stepped forward and wrapped arms around her waist, drawing her to him. She went willingly and returned his hold. He went to breathe in the ever-present vanilla to calm his nerves and was shocked at finding it totally absent.

Brown shot wide against her hair. He quietly sniffed, finding the smell of lilacs, shampoos, and...grass?? He knew she had no access to her stuff at the hospital, but every time he was around, vanilla seemed to radiate from her. It was something he associated with her. This, although nice, wasn't the smell he knew and took comfort in.

"Are you smelling my hair??"

He startled under the accessory tone, but there was a sharp, spiking pain what seemed around center of his head. It started from his neck and he felt a jolt go down his spine - not a very nice one at that. Brown squeezed shut as he willed it away.

His arms tightened and she grunted against his grip. She tried to pull away to see his face, not getting far, and was a little alarmed at how tightly he was holding her. "Inaki...are you sure you're alright??"

Her voice was a soothing balm and it carried through his ears, almost to the heart of the problem. It seemed to retreat to the depths and he laxed as it did, finally at peace for a second.

Even if the pain stopped, there was a wariness about him...one he couldn't describe. It was like he was waiting for something to happen...watching something to see what it would do... But he had no reason to be that way and the fact he was feeling this at all confused him.

He mentally shook himself against it, mentally discounting it all. K was in his arms where she belonged and he hadn't the chance to hold her like this in what seemed forever.

He suddenly realized just HOW harsh his grip was and almost jerked back. "Gomen! Didn't mean to crush you."

The coolness at his separation made her skin bump, but she ignored it and followed him. "Come here." Before he could ask, her hand went to his forehead. She tried to concentrate to see deeper than his physical form, but not born with the powers suddenly granted to her at the merging was hard. She was in need of some serious practice! "You feel a little warm..."

He consciously grinned and batted her hand away. "In the middle of October? Come, come now K, don't be ridiculous." Brown smoldered and he suddenly knew he was going to be in trouble for shooting his mouth off. "I mean, I can't be sick...it's not that hot outside."

"No excuse. Now that you had your medicine, get your butt in my room for a nap. You could use it."

He mentally snapped to attention when she grasped a hand and tried to drag him there herself. "Oi! Hold on there, what do you mean to tell me I need a nap? I'm FINE. Maybe your hands are just cold."

She whipped around and gave him a determined, fierce stare. He met her gaze, almost stunned to see such conviction, but didn't let her try to best him.

Brown softened as she let emotions come to the forefront and shocked him again by taking a step forward and wrapping her arms around him. She quietly sighed and nuzzled her cheek against his shirt, feeling taunt muscles. Her heart sped up and a blush appeared at how forward she was, but told herself to get over it because she was not that girl and Inaki was not that boy.

"I only worry about you. You do enough about me, isn't it my turn for once? Can't you just concede and get some sleep? I promise you don't have to stay the night - as I bet you're tired of doing by now - but just to get your aches gone."

That smell drifted to him again and pain nearly crippled him. Why K's smell would be doing that was beyond him. Allergic reactions perhaps? No, he didn't have allergies as far as he knew.

Maybe a SMALL rest couldn't hurt...after all, he could always coax her to sleep with him. His lips curved, missing that most of all. K fit well next to him.

"If it'll stop you from worrying about me." He muttered against her temple. Her head bobbed and he gave her skin a kiss. "Can I persuade you to do the same?"

She was no stranger to this man in more ways than one, but being so inexperienced in her last life - and the images of what she did in this - made her unsure. 'Now's no time for that!' She berated. 'You're not Kagome anymore than Kagome was Kikyou. Time to be yourself.' Even so, she still had a long way before the comparisons could be ignored. 'Gods...no WONDER I - Kagome! - was constantly being compared to Kikyou!'

This was going to be tougher than everything she did so far. She had to deal with memories of two other lives, emotions from both girls, and find herself again. It would be nice to act on some of the new feelings, but she intended on being herself.

That's all she could be.

"Sure. I suppose I could use some. Let me tell Sam so she doesn't wake us up okay?"

"I'll be waiting in your bed for you."

She nearly stumbled on the way to the stairs and was thankful her back was to him. Her face couldn't be any redder in her entire lives! "E - ee..."

He grinned at how flustered she was and made tracks. If she didn't mind bunking with him in such a small bed, he didn't mind the cramped space.

He made sure to keep her room as clean as she liked it, even going as far as making her bed when he got out of it. He knew K kept her room picked up and the past weeks he stayed here, felt she was around when he did things the way she did. Like she was chiding him by not picking up after himself.

A wistful smile tipped his lips as he threw the light blanket back and plopped down. She was finally back and could argue about his being sloppy all she wanted now. He missed her being in the real world more than he thought and this was like finding a part of himself returned to him.

Brown squeezed shut as the same pain started creeping to attendance again. Hands clutched his skull and he flopped horizontal. "Gods, how long does that fucking aspirin take to kick in??"

"Would you like me to get you another?"

His eyes shot open and he found his smiling girlfriend standing in the doorway. To keep from looking like a wuss downed from simple pain, he sat up. "No, I'm sure it'll work. It's just a headache after all."

'My ass...'

Just a headache was a gross exaggeration. Headaches were nothing compared to this! Almost everyday for the past three weeks, they went from the barest of pricks to full-blown migraines. Oddly enough, when he looked at something from home, it seemed like a dull pain...but when he was with K he almost couldn't see.

He was about ready to hit the doctors up, but these were just headaches. He didn't know if it was the weather - which was totally absurd - or something he ate that was disagreeing with him on a different level. Stress maybe? These WERE coinciding with her hospital time and he didn't get much sleep whenever he was here.

'Just give it some more time.' He ordered, scooting back to make room. K couldn't sleep on her left for a while, and he wanted to hold her, so this was fine. 'Things will get back to normal around here and then you can work up the guts to tell her you love her.'

His heart palpitated at that, and feeling her body press against him. Her ankles entwined with his, fingers searching for the hand around her waist. He gladly wrapped them together and breathed in this new scent, trying to get accustomed. Whatever she smelled like was good - it was like some female secret, or just her - so he had no problem with it.

He rest there, fighting sleep for as long as possible to take in the peace surrounding him, before succumbing.

He was running. There was a knowledge if he didn't, that would be it. He HAD to run, it was of utmost importance he find someplace safe and hide.

He had to hide!

Dark forest greeted his vision in every angle. There was a mass of trees, grass, and dirt. There were a few hills, but nothing seemed promising to skirt around and stick his body into.

He could outsmart those chasing him. They were stupid, but hungry. That was simple to fool - he was there enough to know the mindset.

He couldn't fight though, he wasn't strong enough. Those behind him were stupid, but big - bigger than he would ever be.

If only things hadn't changed! If only he still had the protection from the courts! If only...SHE hadn't died... He might've been shunned, hidden from prying eyes, and verbally scorned, but he would've been safe. Although precarious, it was better than this.

Anything was better than this hell.

He darted right and poured speed on. His arms flung at the sides as he dared angle forward for momentum. It was a gamble - if he misstepped once...didn't see a rock coming...he was done. But he often ran this way and knew it worked, and it would get him space from those with legs twice the size of his height.

It was hard to hide, but he pushed the mane of hair to the side and used his sleeves to keep the moonlight off it. That was like a beacon and if he could, would make short work and hack it off. But...she said he didn't need to change who he was for anyone...that she loved him as he was...

He waited with baited breath, hoping they wouldn't smell his fear or sweat and avidly listened for when they passed. He watched with acute sight until they were specks before chancing to move.

The smell of water was near and he followed it to a shallow river. He needed a drink from that exertion and to get him through till food could be found.

Tiny hands cupped water. It was freezing and probably not good for his system, but would have to do. He tried not to get his sleeves wet, as this was the only thing he owned, but they were so large with the overhang that nearly made him trip.

He stared, able to see well despite such light, and his jaw grimly clenched.

Hair the color never seen on mortals.

Eyes that scared women by a mere glance.

Hands that could rip a tree to shreds.

Senses given to him from his father.

And ears from the mix of his blood.

He scowled, baring his teeth at his image and finding yet another horrid thing about him.

'I love you just the way you are...don't let those from the courts get to you... I will do everything in my power to keep you protected my son...don't worry...' Then she would run a soft hand over his cheek in that gentle caress only a mother could give to make him feel secure and trusting.

Her voice rang in his ears, a ghostly reminder of the life he once knew. His eyes filled with bitterness and anger, and a hand arced down and slashed his image from the water.

It was all shit! He wasn't safe anymore than the rabbit he killed last night for his meal! This hell was never going to end as long as he was hunted by those who thought him easy prey, not to mention his own brother! Why did they drive him away? None of it was his fault! He was just a child damn it!

Rustling noises came and he twirled in their direction. Hands clenched and teeth showed to try and be threatening.

They were back.

He wanted to tear them apart - be the hunter for once - but had many years wait before being bigger to change the roles. He could get stronger, but that came with time.

The only thing he could do now was turn and run.

"Fuck it!"

So run he did.

Brown opened with a start. He blinked, trying to cure disorientation and raven bangs swished. There was yet another dull ache in his head, only this was located behind his eyes.

A hand went over them as if it would do some good. He grimaced against the annoyance, eyes squeezing shut, and rubbed his temples in hopes of massaging it gone.

'I'm REALLY getting sick of this shit...' He groused.

He mentally came to attention as he made to sit up and found the bed empty. He looked around and jumped at finding the object of his search sitting at her desk with a pencil in hand and books in her attention.

He couldn't help but be offended. She was giving up sleeping next to him for HOMEWORK? That almost hurt. His face showed it too.

"Oi..." She jumped worse than he did and the pencil flew from her hand. His lips twitched, but pressed together to keep from being amused. "I hope you have an explanation for making me sleep by myself."

The chair scooted back as she bent to retrieve the device, a sheepish smile forming. She spied a look and tried not to stare at seeing him sleep ruffled and covered at the waist with her blanket. Teeth nibbled her lip as her heart skipped a beat.

She closed the book with the pencil keeping place and faced him. "Ah, gomen, gomen...I just needed to get some homework caught up and couldn't sleep anymore. I'm not only grossly behind, I haven't even gotten spring classes set up yet. I was trying to get back on my feet."

"That still doesn't excuse the fact you haven't been with ME in three and a half weeks..."

Her look turned apologetic as she moved to the bed and sat near his waist. He looked so adorable half awake and pouting for her unintentionally ignoring him. "Gomen ne Inaki...I wasn't doing it on purpose."

His head tilted to her hand as fingers brushed against his cheek. The feeling of that seemed familiar and his dream came back with a vengeance. He ignored it in favor of the person in front of him, but added it to the oddballs occurring lately. Strangely enough, his memory of them were good - when he knew many didn't remember what they dreamt.

"Are you okay Inaki?"

Brown blinked. "Why wouldn't I be?"

'I've got you here by my side.' He wanted to say it, but was too cowardly to do so. That and she was muddling his head to where words were hard to get out. His eyes fluttered closed and he elicited a small groan to show how much he enjoyed her ministrations.

He was disappointed when she stopped, and his eyes fluttered open when his scalp tickled. "What're you doing with my hair?" In a quick tug, the elastic tie from his lengthy mane was gone and unraveled a little by itself. She didn't seem to care and continued it.

"What does it look like? You always have your hair in a braid. Didn't I tell you before you look better with it loose?" She smiled, though fought wistfulness as she relocated and made him move so she was behind. It was at least mid back, maybe a little shorter...and definitely not the length she remembered. But it still looked good on him and she was tempted to tell him to grow it to his rear, but that would only be for her other lives' benefits, not hers.

She loved him with his hair the buzzed length she saw when they first met, or the near two foot she gauged it from his scalp. She bet that's what her hair was now, if not a little shorter.

He always had longer, thicker hair than she did. It was rougher too and she didn't know if that was from lack of care or his blood. Her second life always wanted to play with it, maybe tackle a brush through to see what it would look like smooth. She couldn't help a grin at the mental image. 'He would never sit long enough for me - her - to run one through. He would never agree in the first place unless I - she! - sat him.'

Well...she didn't have that same boy at her mercy, but she DID have the next best thing...and loved playing with his hair, watching the expressions on his face...

"Don't move."

"What?"

"I said don't move!" She ordered, jumping off the bed. She pinned him with a gaze telling she meant business and threw the bedroom door open.

He watched her jog out and dumbly blinked. His head tilted, at a loss for words to figure her mood. If he thought she was a faucet before, this was worse. His head shook, feeling the ends of hair tickle his arms. 'I'll never figure that onna out.'

She all but bounced back in and shut the door to keep Sam from poking her head in and ruining the fun. This was a fantasy carried over and she ran with it, feeling like indulging the emotions.

Plopping down with a grin, she forced him to sit forward more so she had arm room and started at the bottom. "You have split ends." She soon muttered, peering at the tips for a second.

He didn't look amused at that. "So what?" An odd look met the far wall.

A brow rose. "Don't get snippy, I was just reporting. You probably never look do you? I thought you took good care of your hair?"

"I DO. But I'm not that attentive to it. That's a girl thing." She grunted and tapped the brush on the crown of his head for that remark. Whether she meant to cause him pain like what spread from the spot he didn't know, but not even the feel of the brush pacified it.

Brown squeezed shut and shoulders tensed a little. He tried to hide it as best as possible. Hands hid in his lap and changed to fists. 'This is getting to be a real bitch.'

"You mind not hitting me on the head?" He tightly muttered, trying not to show irritation.

She gasped and arms went around his neck. "Ah, gomen nasai! I forgot about your headache! Is it still bothering you? My poor baby..."

He couldn't help a smile as his heart warmed with her nudging his head with hers. Did she think of him like that? They never did pet names, but it was adorable - though he'd smack one of his friends if they heard K call him that.

She kissed his temple and gently patted his cheek before going back to her task, resolved to treat his hair as if it were on an infant's.

By the time she got to the crown, fearing each touch would aggravate, he was definitely slouched over. She couldn't help but smile, face soft at his lack of defenses. Other guys might consider this sissy, but he was being amazingly patient - of course he probably got more out of it than her and that was a nice scalp massage.

She could've braided it for him, as she knew how from Sam, but wanted to see him with hair unbound. The last time she did was the shower they spent together and that was wet hair.

Her cheeks burned as she dropped the brush to the floor and ran fingers through ebony. She would never forget the abandon or strength she had for so few emotions then and how close to the second life she acted.

She didn't want to stop playing with his hair, but the urge to hold him was coming and she leaned to his ear. "Scoot back." She murmured, giving it a quick kiss.

Brown fluttered open with difficulty, frowning when her fingers and weight shifted. Nothing like breaking his bliss... "What?"

She propped the pillow up, settled against the frame, and widened her legs to accommodate him. "Come here. I - I've always wanted to do this with a guy."

He smiled and turned, getting comfy with her breasts as a cushion and draping his arms next to her sides. Hands went back to his hair and he gave her stomach a quick kiss in appreciation. "Feel free to continue, I'm happy where I am." He mumbled, giving a sly grin.

Being directly above gave prime view and she lightly slapped his back, hoping it wouldn't hurt his head. "Hentai."

"Only for you."

She blushed a little, but smiled and combed fingers through his hair. She knew he fell asleep again by the way he laxed, but paid no mind. She could suffer her legs falling asleep if they could stay like this a while longer.

Brown softened and her heart warmed. Intense love from all three lives came and nearly suffocated her. Was it possible to love someone this much? Even if the first was tinged with betrayal and hate; the second hurt and uncertainty; and this pain and longing, she felt them individually. She loved him on her own before knowing who she really was and gaining their thoughts and memories, so what she had was original and not influenced.

She just wished she had their strength to tell him what she felt.

"I'll never be able to say it to his face, will I?" She whispered, watching her fingertips wipe his cheek. Her brow furrowed a tad. "I may be stronger now, but I'll still be a coward. I just...can't tell him..." Tortured brown looked from peaceful, angelic face to white stucco above. "Why can't I? I'm not who I was...so it should be easy, ne? I have to tell him sooner or later - he deserves to know."

"...Know...what?"

She jumped and wanted to knock him in the head for scaring her. His breath was still even, but an eye cracked. "I thought you were asleep!"

"Dozing. Your talking jolted me to full consciousness."

She blushed and her lips pressed together. "You...weren't supposed to hear that..."

"Why not? It was about me wasn't it?" He chanced sitting up from his comfy spot to give her direct attention. A yawn escaped before he could catch it.

She smiled at his sleep ruffled look, harshly swallowing at how sexy he looked with wild hair spilling around his back, but kept silent. Her fingers itched to run again, or at least give him a thorough kissing.

"So...are you going to tell me what you were thinking, or do I have to drag it out of you?" He smiled, but his eyes were serious. His muscles may be tired, but he could still pin her down and tickle her like his life depended on it.

Her fingers gravitated to each other and fiddled. She stared at them, nibbling on her lip. "I - I can't...it's too embarrassing... And I wouldn't want to put you in any kind of position to answer me." Her brow furrowed. The last thing she wanted to hear was him respond just because she did. She'd feel cheapened and wouldn't be able to tell him again.

His brow furrowed, head tilting in confusion. "I thought we were past the embarrassment stage with me. And you wouldn't put me in anything I wouldn't let myself get put in, so out with it."

She pouted at his insistence, knowing he wouldn't let her get away with being quiet. "You're so mean..." She muttered, scowling at him.

"So you say. Don't make me tickle you."

She glared a tad and sat up. She tried to use the little height she had over him to get the threats to cease. "You never let me answer at the time I want, you know that? You're always pushing me to do, do, do!"

A brow rose at her irritation. Weren't they supposed to be talking? "Well it's the only way to get you to do something."

"Did it ever occur to you that if I wanted to do something I WOULD? Or do it on my own time at least?"

He scowled. "If I waited for you to do everything on your own pace I'd be sixty. And who says you'd do something if never prodded?"

She nearly fumed. Hands went to her hips in indignation. "You assume too much! Sheesh, how I ever fell in love with such a person is beyond me!" His retort froze, eyes slowly widening. Her anger came to an abrupt stop and she soon matched his shocked gaze. "I - well I...I was going to say it...a little nicer..."

He didn't think. He pulled her forward in a fierce kiss that spoke volumes. By the time they pulled away, there was a lot of heaving for air. "You seriously love me?" He breathed.

Was he talking? She was trying to pick her brain up after that! "I...yes. I loved you for a while now. But I was too much of a coward to tell you without forcing you to respond back. I don't want you to say anything just for my benefit."

The emotion on his face nearly brought tears of relief to her eyes. He wasn't horrified at least - that was a good sign.

The second kiss was gentler than the last, and lasted just as long. He pulled away this time, hands cupping her face. "I told you, you were the one I wanted, but that didn't say anything. It just meant in no way was I going to lose you. It didn't convey depth of anything. I realized something else when you were done from surgery...and that's how much I love you too. You're stuck with me now, you hear me Kalie? You're going to have to fight tooth and nail to get me to leave you."

He kissed her forehead in a tender gesture that made even more tears spill. She finally had it from him straight - there was no more wondering, no more guessing, and no more hunches to pick through. She had the words and the completeness filling her never felt better. She practically flung herself into his arms, burying her head in his chest.

He loved her, he really loved her...

"You have no clue...how long I wanted to hear that...from you..." She sobbed. His hand touched her back, rubbing to comfort her. "So long...so long..."

He gently grasped her arms and pulled back to see her. A loving smile was on his face, in his eyes. He kissed her cheeks, tasting tears. "Don't cry Kalie...you know I don't want to see you cry."

"I'm just...so happy... You don't know what this means to me..."

Brown twinkled. "I have a pretty good idea."

They both laughed and she hugged him again. He took her position and let her rest on him, the one to play with her hair.

She loved him...and he got the guts to tell her. It was a pretty good confession once they let hot heads cool a bit. Soft eyes watched her rest as a smile formed.

When did she turn into such a fireball? He wasn't complaining - it was quite interesting to have her hold her own - but this wasn't like her. Even when she crawled from her shell she wasn't this bold.

Brown turned thoughtful as he blankly stared at the window, finding the sun late. He should get home soon, but to ruin this moment was too much and didn't have the heart.

His family would understand, as they did when he stayed over for nearly a month, and every time he came to see K before. They liked her and considered her family. They were also waiting to know how the trip from the hospital turned out and wanted to be informed when he got home.

Well...he'd have to leave out a few details.

'I love you more than I can imagine. As much as I love my family, but deeper too. I feel closer to you than I do the guys, nee-chan, and any of my past girlfriends. I don't know why that is since this is the first time I've been in love with a girl outside my family, and thinking aspects for the future, but you're different. How? Why is that? What is it about you?'

A hand trailed over her skin, delighting in the feel. His gaze was soft, but inquisitive. He didn't understand how someone could love him so fiercely. His family loved him, but it wasn't the same kind.

He wasn't discounting the fact she loved him. He was drawn to her and it was hard to explain. Ever since their first meeting there was something there, something below the surface he didn't understand...couldn't grasp.

'Doesn't matter anymore. She's mine - I'm hers - and I'm not letting her go to save my life.'

There was a quick, sharp pain in the middle of his head again. His eyes squeezed shut from it and there was an odd incling of deja vu, but how he didn't know. He never felt this way except with K. He brushed it all aside to focus on her a little longer. She would need time to get back on track and he had to give it to her, so this had to do him for a while.

'But there will be no more cutting each other off.' He darkly vowed. He was not going to stand for that anymore and now that she had spunk and was healthy, he was going to show his dislike if she tried to push him away like before. If she loved him - really loved him - she wouldn't.


	58. Ch 58

"Okaasan, I'm going to go lie down. I'll leave this to you."

"Musuko, it's your turn to help with lunch."

He tried to keep a wince down, fighting to clutch his head against the migraine which wouldn't quit today. "Wakarimasu...demo..." His eyes squeezed and raven swished as he tried to shake it away.

A hand attached to his forehead and coolness gained some attention. "Musuko...daijoubu?"

'Why is everyone asking me that lately??'

"Aa. Just a headache."

That cool hand brushed over his cheek and another bout of deja vu hit hard. An odor of grass, dew, perfumes, and something he couldn't put his finger one rose to his nose and his brow furrowed. He glanced to the patio, but of course it was closed, as winter was closing in.

"I'll finish here. You go do what you intended."

He gave a thankful nod. "Arigatou okaasan. Wake me if I'm not up in half an hour."

"Hai."

He ambled out of the kitchen and trudged up the steps. His body felt weighted today and it was hard to concentrate. Work was more than a chore and he came home early when a strong smell of curry set off a pain behind his eyes what felt like someone punched him.

He plopped on his futon with a sigh, gritting his teeth as his forearm smacked the wood frame. There would be a nice little bruise soon, but as long as he didn't seriously hurt anything. He chanced a peek, raising the appendage to his view and poked the throbbing area. It was assuredly sore and he dropped everything in favor of relaxing.

He heaved a sigh, the comfortable bliss of body sinking to mattress helping sleep along. The urge to move was miles away and he wished to stay like this till tomorrow. He could skip meals - food wasn't really on his mind these days - but the family wouldn't like that. Especially the women.

Like he wanted obaasan and okaasan worrying about him.

Blackness was everywhere, but he felt someone was with him. It was impossible to see, so his ears strained to hear, finding the smallest of whispers seemingly miles off.

'Dare?'

The whispers slowly neared and he tried to will subconscious to move and appease his curiosity. They faded in and out, as if someone were covering and uncovering their mouths.

'Dare??'

"...ma..."

'What is it you're telling me this time?'

"...tama... Shi...tama..."

'Jewel...what jewel?'

A bright flash suddenly erupted in his vision, engulfing the world in florescent pink. There was no way to shield his sight and he cried out as light blinded him.

There was no way to shake his head or blink effects off so he waited them out, watching pink turn to white. It was so radiant and warm, like holding a mug of hot tea on a chilly winter day, wrapped up in a nice pair of thick tabi and wool happi.

Blobs soon floated into focus. Some were rather tall and sparse, white slowly gaining colors. The whispers seemed to continue through the transformation, not waiting until he could see what was transpiring.

There was a sound of wind through his ears, soft wind that ruffled nearby leaves and he associated the blobs with that. Smells of dirt, stagnant water, wild flowers, greenery, and sap came in that one whiff. He didn't know how it was possible to have so many in one inhale, but it was nice. Reminded him of his spot.

The image soon showed itself as a forest, lush around the time of spring or summer. There were two small blobs sticking out among the trees on a hill. The sky was deep blue of late afternoon and if he paid close attention, could discern the shifts of beginning sunset.

"Shikon no tama?"

He whipped to the highly familiar voice, surprise and yet more familiarity coming. How was it he heard those two blobs - one male from the voice - at the bottom of the slope?? Regardless of the question or answer, he hurried to get closer, to get in on what this dream was showing him before he woke up.

"I'll...become human?"

"You can you see - you're someone who's half-way human naturally. If a wicked youkai gets their hands on the Shikon no tama, their demonic powers will get increasingly stronger and the jewel will never disappear. However...if you use it for the sake of becoming human, it will purify the Shikon no tama...and it'll probably vanish."

"What'll become of you?"

"I am the one protecting the jewel... If the jewel disappears...I can become an ordinary woman."

"Mezamerimasu. Oi - ototo!"

Brown jerked open, rapidly blinking at a little lightheadedness from being shoved to the waking world. He groaned and tried to bury his head into the soft mattress, but wasn't going to get off that lightly.

Jayden snorted and gave the futon a sound kick, mindful not to hurt herself or it, but enough to jar the loaf and annoy him.

"Yamero!"

Mission accomplished.

"Get up or I'll do it again."

"How would you like it if I did that to yours?" He grumbled, feeling overly irritated. Normally he was a little, but never this bad.

"I'd have to hurt you." Thunk. "Okaasan wants you up to help set the table since you slept away your cooking duties. Up!" Thunk.

His head shot up, eyes smoldering and brows deeply furrowed. "Knock it off!!"

Jayden jumped at the hostility and took a step back. A small shiver raced through her, though she wouldn't be intimidated. "Then stop being such a lazy ass! Sheesh, why're you so grumpy??"

He scooted up and sat on his calves, a hand trying to fix overly lengthy bangs. His body was lighter, but it seemed to travel to his head and remain. "You're not the best thing to wake up to you know."

Jayden scowled, feeling a little hurt. He seemed to mean it and she had a feeling he wasn't playing. She lived with him - she knew the difference. Trying not to let it show, she disdainfully sniffed and turned her nose up. "Fine - be that way. Then you can start sleeping in the basement or the outside dojo!" Nails digging into palms, Jayden stormed out and stomped through the hall.

The hand massaging his scalp stopped and he sighed. Fingers tried to rub sleep away and gain his wits. It was hard to think properly, mostly with that dream clouding his mind. So strange...the clothing was easy to recognize, but the words made no sense. Why did he listen in on that conversation? It played specifically for him, but stopped too soon with that rude awakening.

He grimaced and turned to the doorway, swinging his legs to the floor. Neechan wasn't going to like him until he apologized and probably not forgive him either. Not like it was on purpose...the words flowed without thought. Anger seemed second nature and the biting response felt good, though it stomped on the messenger without mercy.

Again he sighed and looked out the window, finding the sun moved while he was unconscious. 'Better swallow my pride and get this over with now before it drags on any longer.'

He gradually stood, still not feeling the rest did any good, and shuffled to the hall. Smells assaulted him and his stomach grumbled. Hunger was calling, but his mind didn't recognize it. It was being taken up by so many odd things it was hard to focus.

Jayden moved stiffly as she attended the cooking. His face smoothed, though guilt was under the surface. He could see she wasn't going to make it easy on him and to top it off...everyone would be back for lunch. Well...obaasan and ojiisan had lunch at the store so he would be lucky to stay obaasan's comments at least.

Luck smiled on him even a little.

Omo walked in from outside and immediately took place on a zabuton. He started in on plates, taking over what his mother started. He nodded to his father, gaining a receiving, and almost ran into Jayden upon turn and getting lunch draped all over.

By the look in her eyes, he could see she was tempted, even if she'd have to clean the mess up. If that made her feel better - despite getting first degree burns for it - he would let her do it. He deserved that much at least.

He noticed something that came when going to grab the heaviest load from the stove. His arm didn't hurt. He snuck a glance at it and was more confused.

There was no bruise and no pain.

He slammed it on the bed before he slept and didn't nap that long. By now, a big blue or purple splotch should be smack center, but one was absent. It was like it never happened and that dazzled him.

A hand wrapped around the appendage, thumb pressing the site. 'That's so weird. I didn't imagine that - the pain was too real. How could it vanish? Not possible - the human body doesn't heal at that speed.'

"Are you alright musuko?"

Hands shot to his lap, vision jerking up. "Hai otousan."

'Best not to worry about it in front of the others. If I can't explain it, neither will they.' He started in piling his plate, though letting Jayden get not only the best pieces, but going before. If either parent noticed his uncommon generosity, they said nothing. 'How am I going to say it? She's still angry - I can tell. This is going to suck.'

Part of him said to leave it as it was. That's what she got for kicking his futon and waking him up so rudely. The whispered voice was saying she was always like this so why apologize? Be cruel for once - it's not as if he was the bad guy here.

He blinked at the anger - why he felt that in the first place was beyond him - and spared Jayden a glance under his bangs. She studiously ignored looking back, which gave him more freedom to stare.

Why would he think that toward his own sister? Granted she got on his nerves and deliberately picked on him, but he did so as well so they were even. And to wish such malice on his ONLY sister was not like him. Jayden never did anything to make him hate her.

'You're an adult.' He reminded, sticking rice in his mouth. 'Stop being so damn childish and accept your punishment. You were wrong to bitch her out, so apologize you will.' Brown spied a glance over his teacup and widened in surprise at finding a hurtful glare his way. He quickly looked away. 'Even though this's going to be harder than hell!'

He took Jayden's spot at the sink to clean dishes and she readily let him have it. He still wasn't off the hook, but trying to butter her up was part of the plan and he'd suffer dishpan hands for her if it helped her forgive him.

By the time okaasan finished cleaning the table and he finished loading the dishwasher, Jayden was nowhere around. He checked each floor and even a quick sweep of the backyard. She either didn't want to hear his apology, or went somewhere to stew in private.

"Great." He muttered. He nearly kicked zouri off and shut the glass door, trying not to show frustration. Now he had to steep in guilt and keep the words to himself even longer.

Otousan left for the store and okaasan was out tending to the garden to finish getting it ready for winter temperatures, so he was virtually alone. He sighed, feeling tension in his shoulders.

There was nothing to do. He didn't feel like going back to the store when another migraine could erupt and make him knock over a shelf or delivery. He CERTAINLY didn't feel like hunting Jayden down just so he could apologize. Though he told himself he would, that was sounding like a chore right now.

A nap was out - he wasn't tired. With the disturbed sleep he kept getting, it was amazing he slept at all. If he tried again, he wouldn't fall asleep tonight, so that was out.

It was Friday, meaning K had classes and work. He told her to call him when she felt able to, and imagined himself in for a long wait. The thought of it sent spikes of annoyance - unbeknownst to him, but he squelched the bad. Everything was finally laid out so there was no problem worrying about their situation.

But now that everything WAS clear, he wanted to see her more often. He could be as open as he wanted and so could she, yet they were miles apart and separated for who knew how long.

He didn't like that one bit.

Swiftly turning on a heel, he hopped the lower level steps and all but threw the basement door open. If this wasn't going to go away, he'd exhaust himself and pray his head stuck together in the meantime.

Staffs, swords, and Sai greeted brown and an odd sense of relief filled him. If he couldn't express what was going on, he'd vent in practice...which seemed the best thing. Everything in his body was saying to pick up a weapon and swing it a few times.

A Sai kata seemed the easiest, as swinging a sword around would break metal or knock out overhead lights. He wasn't in the mood for repairing and paying for that too. But picking up a Sai and twirling it a few times felt awkward. His brow furrowed at that. He knew Sai pretty well and was well-versed in twirling clockwise and counterclockwise...stumbling didn't make sense.

He held the object, staring at it from top to bottom. It felt foreign and he had a strange notion of never holding one before.

Raven swished as he savagely tried to shake sense to him. "You're imagining things. You've got hours with this. Shit I'm surprised there aren't grooves in this thing by now from my finger."

Regardless of what he tried to tell himself, the Sai went back on the wooden holder.

Brown looked to wakazashi and katana almost longingly. Wakazashi would be good for slashing and knife-like grips, but was too wimpy and couldn't replace the beauty of a katana in a kata. The arcs and slashes were art when performed correctly and he almost wished it was spring so he could practice in the yard, watching afternoon sun gleam off the blade.

Longing fiercer than the need to be by Kalie came and the urge to hold a katana was intense. It was unexplainable...and unavoidable. Brown checked the ceiling, gauging the distance of his arms and the sword's length, knowing it was useless. He couldn't practice in here without hearing from the family about treating the house with respect.

Brown rolled. He heaved a sigh and skipped steps, almost forgetting the light as he exited. He left the door open and hopped to the main level.

He jumped and nearly fell from offset momentum at finding okaasan on her zabuton with a teacup in her hands.

"Finished already?"

"Ee." She muttered, daintily sipping.

"I'm going to go practice outside for a while."

Kristine startled and a hand shot out as he passed. "Dame! It's too cold outside! You'll get sick."

He stopped, feeling warmth from the teacup. Part of him still itched to hold a full-length katana, but there was a sudden shift. Like pouring cold water over hot. Something told him to obey his mother - more than ordinary - but the need to practice and vent was too strong even for that.

He looked down, gracing her with a small smile. "I won't be long. Maybe half an hour or so. I still have to apologize to Jayden for something I said when she woke me."

"She's at the store." Kristine reported.

A brow ticked in annoyance. 'Fucking figures...'

He bit back a sigh and gently twisted his wrist free. "Ah well...if she comes back while I'm in the middle of practice, please have her come stop me."

"Musuko -"

"Ii desu. I'll be okay."

Kristine finally conceded a nod, slowly going back to her tea. A mild wind came in when the patio opened, but ended shortly as it quickly slid closed. Kristine stared at the contents in her glass, teeth soon going for her lip. "Musuko..."

He almost wanted to sprint the distance now that he unnecessarily gave himself a time limit. He could always lie and say he lost track of time - as there was no clock in the small area - but couldn't bring himself to do it. It was liable he would end up longer than thirty minutes, but the thought of lying to his mother - his only mother - almost made him feel dirty and self-loathed.

He kicked sandals off, not bothering to line them up. Eyes went to racks on both walls...one containing dull, the other razor sharp. He started for the dull side before feet all but steered him to sharp on their own. Without thought, a hand roamed over the hilts. There had to be just the right feel from the sword or his time would be wasted.

He reached the last one in disappointment. Dull swords - while being what he used most often - seemed as bad as Sai. He couldn't use those no matter how much he did before. It was wrong somehow, though he couldn't put his finger on it.

Brown swept through the dojo, sweeping over the walls and taking in details. American and Japanese flags hung directly across slitted shoji, mats to his left. A few mirrors adorned one of the walls and showed his reflection as he turned. The temperature was chilly from slants in sheetrock for windows.

On the far wall, next to a very traditional haori and hakama tacked up, was a glass case. He shuffled across wood boards, hand rising as he neared.

He looked down on a long, jet black case. He knew what was in that case, but never touched it. Hibososan once showed the prize given from HIS parents upon becoming a man, but forbade anyone save him to touch it. That was years ago, when he started learning and was interested in weapons.

It was never used. The glass had a door to it, but the lock kept it from being readily opened. He knew the combination of course, as did everyone in the family in case - gods forbid - something happened and it needed to be gotten to.

In no way should he do more than look and think about what it would be like to use such an antique - one rumored to survive past Edo Jidai. Something THAT old deserved its sleep...provided it didn't fall apart after such time and disuse. If he broke the sword by touching it, his ass would more than be in a sling...hibososan would never forgive him and neither would his great great grandparents.

That still didn't stop deft fingers from twisting the right numbers and unclicking the lock.

He felt he was stealing something more precious than the crown jewels. This was five generations old in ownership, and that was definitely taken into consideration as he tiptoed the case on glass. Fingers gently clicked the locks, wincing as if someone would hear. They snapped up and brown spied a quick look to the door, pondering if he should finish shutting and bar it.

With a shake and held breath, he pulled the lid wide and inhaled musty air. His nose wrinkled and brown stared.

This thing was assuredly as old as hibososan claimed! If the ties on the hilt were white at any time in their creation, they weren't anymore! Dirt and human oils dyed them deep gray, fingers forcing the rope to fray in half a dozen spots. The hand guard and edge of the hilt glittered in the afternoon sun and a nail tapped one of the metal pieces.

They were definitely made from gold.

Brown widened a little at that. The sword was knowingly heavy on its own, but to know that made this thing valuable on another level. No way in the seven hells would he sell it, but the simple paddle lock didn't seem strong enough now. Anyone could put their fist through flimsy glass and get it.

The scabbard was dull from sliding through too many hakama ties, but still strong. The blood red tie to hold it to hakama was wrapped around and frayed, though way less than the hilt.

Fingers swooped down and gripped the scabbard, brushing against a red velvet bed. He pulled it up and carefully bounced it a few times, testing the feel. A small smile edged his mouth as one hand gripped ebony, the other gray. In one movement, he yanked the blade free to see sunlight and taste fresh air in over a decade.

He almost fell in shock at seeing metal. What did he expect, given the condition of the hilt?? He brought it close for inspection, eyes narrowing a little.

There was no straight line on this thing! It was so chipped a serrated paring knife from the kitchen was sharper! This definitely saw many battles...or a rough owner, that was sure!

He pulled back and set the scabbard in its resting spot, walking around the small hutch. In wide open spacing, the sword slashed the air a few times in experimentation. He grinned and gripped it with the other hand. It was heavy, but he quickly adjusted after a few more practice swings.

This - oddly enough - was the sword his soul longed to practice with.

He strode to the middle of the room, daring to be farther away from the box than necessary, and took a battle stance. With a loud inhale, he held it for a second before crying out and slicing down.

He stopped the sword fully horizontal, twisted his wrists, and and turned in a circle as if to block someone from behind. The sword arched at an angle, arms guarding his face. A silly, yet fierce, grin appeared. He used the angle to slice the sword close to wood, yet missing by an inch.

Everything flowed in each calculated, simple stroke. The giddiness of practicing with such a forbidden blade, the adrenaline giving him very precise movements, and the mood of feeling he was one against many melted time and surroundings. The outside flew from his mind as he jumped into the air with a battle cry, sword above. He glared at the ground, imagined an enemy slashing for his feet, and dropped it straight to the ground.

He ended in a crouch, sword mere inches from the floor, before removing one hand and slicing in another arc to his right. He struck forward in a tight jab, going into a controlled roll as if dodging a downward thrust. Mindful of getting cut and possible tetanus, he gently cradled the sword and jumped to his feet. He gave a few kicks, timing the sword with them.

His mind blanked as ease flowed. He didn't know what he was doing, but the sound of rushing wind in each movement and the rustle of his clothes felt right. It was familiar but he didn't want to break this trance and be befuddled again. He was through with confusion, thinking, and wondering. Whether caught or not he could worry about later. Right now it was nothing but him, this sword, and the imaginary characters. The sword moved as if he always held it, and the nameless swings came easily.

He was forced to catch his breath after a while, and dropped into a crouch. Raven swished as he tried to get dripping bangs from his eyes. Cold stung his skin, though his insides burned from exertion.

If he didn't leave now, okaasan would come out complaining he would get sick again and he'd be caught. Whether she would tell was a mystery, but he couldn't take that chance.

Slowly standing, he briefly stared at the sword. It seemed to glow in the low lighting and he almost thought he was staring at it differently. Raven furrowed for a moment before his head shook and he pivoted for the wall. 'If I don't stop being so dramatic and serious, I'm going to hand myself over.'

This was without a doubt the most exciting thing to ever occur in his young life...besides meeting Kalie. He would definitely hold this in his heart for a long time, as he wouldn't be so foolish to try this stunt again. Once was enough and the specialness of doing so couldn't be redone.

He grabbed the scabbard and raised it for better lighting. He squinted and edged his thumb near the hole to get the tip positioned right. It was risky, but katana were for slicing and he wouldn't move the edge enough for it to do so.

He didn't account for receding adrenaline, or the chill that attacked his bones once he stopped moving. A chill raced when a particular gust caught him just right and shook his arms.

He grimaced and quickly pulled back, dropping the scabbard and still gaining a nice slice down his thumb. Teeth bit his lip in worry as he swooped down and checked the scabbard for any indents or scratches. If hibososan saw just ONE...

It seemed in tact and he breathed a sigh of relief. He cast a quick look to his thumb, finding a sluggish trail heading for his wrist. "Shit. Don't want to make a mess..." He stuck the digit in his mouth, grateful no one was in the vicinity, and peered at the edge. "Damn it...got blood on the blade..." His index moved to wipe it away, but the wound dripped another few and added to the first. "Damn it!"

He scowled at himself and made to use his shirt instead when the barest of whispers came to his ears. In a blink, he froze to listen, breath held. He whipped for the doors, eyes wide, but it was the same as he left it. Brow furrowed, he went to continue when something else stopped him.

In his ears and in his hand was the definite sound and feel of a single, resounding heartbeat.

He yelped and pushed the sword from as if it tried to attack him. Wide eyes stared, watching idly blood inch across the blade. It fell instep with some of the cracks and he absently swore at the impossibility of getting it out.

Another beat gained his attention and fear laced his veins. Utter silence - save rapid breathing and his own heart - filled his ears and the eeriness made him want to turn tail and run. But he couldn't force his legs to move, even when numbness started coming from the position.

"What...what's going on..." He breathed, inching the katana to his face. Details sharpened in his gaze and recognition of seeing this sword - despite the once many years ago - fell like a ton of bricks.

The way he held it was familiar. The crappy, torn metal was familiar. The untying hilt he knew all too well.

He knew this sword!

A rush of wind, almost like a whirlwind directly over his ears, startled him and made more dread come. "What is this??" He shouted, hand unconsciously gripping the sword. He didn't feel his hair blow - this wind was imaginary. His free hand swiped his ears, slapping them in attempt to free himself from whatever was befalling him.

"Yamero! Yamero mou!" He shouted, curling onto himself. Breathing the rate of near hyperventilation sounded, but that was his own at least.

The voices rapidly turning up in volume weren't.

"This katana is your father's memento! Believe in the katana's spiritual power. You must never abandon it!"

-----

"That's your katana isn't it!? I believe in it you see - your power."

-----

"Tessaiga is pulsating!? I can hear it...Tessaiga's heartbeat... This feeling...is completely different to earlier! This is...a tusk!?"

-----

"Pay attention Inuyasha. One swing... Mow down one hundred youkai with one swing!"

-----

"Ah..."

"Wha! With one wave of the sword...a - all the youkai were...blown away."

"Ah?"

"He used the real power of Tessaiga...for the first time..."

-----

"In the end, Tessaiga is just a dog's tusk."

"Tessaiga was..."

"At any rate, it seems that an oni's tusks are better."

"Tessaiga was...broken."

-----

"As I said, Tessaiga's weight is because of your fang's weight. Before Tessaiga broke, it was your oyaji-dono's fang. In short, you were relying on your oyaji-dono to protect you. However, this time Tessaiga isn't like that. You're handling your own fang and protecting yourself. When you can freely swing Tessaiga as it is now...it means you'll have truly become strong."

'What is all this? This sword...Tessaiga... The sword I practiced with...is...this Tessaiga?!'

"OTOTO!"

He jerked from the short flashes of some ancient memory - recognition as real as the sweat on his brow - and brown moved up. His eyes were glassy, breath labored, grip bruising on the hilt. The rough edges ate at soft parts of his hands, but he barely felt pain. He didn't even feel if his thumb was still bleeding, though a small covering on his hand told blood kept dripping.

"Ototo look at me! Take a few breaths!" Hands cupped his face, cooler than his skin and shocking him. He gasped, but didn't have strength to resist movement that put his vision with overly concerned brown.

This onna... She was very close to him in more ways than one. He trusted her. Her smell, looks, and voice was known. His brow furrowed the barest of degrees, trying to sort out fog and confusion in his head.

It took a lot of ordering, but he finally came to the real world and took stock of everything. He still had the sword in his hands, but his grip was bruising, knuckles tight. His legs were cramping and half numb from the crouched position, but locked to prevent easy movement.

Jayden was in the same stance, mindful of the sword, hands attached to his face. Tears lined her eyes and anxiety ran rampant. Teeth gnashed her lip, brow heavily furrowed.

"Nee...chan..." All at once, fingers laxed and the sword clanged on the floor. His body slouched forward to be caught with a surprised cry. Tendrils of loose hair - hair he ended up leaving wild today - fell around and tickled where it touched his arms.

"Ototo shikkari!" Jayden gathered him as much as possible, roughly shoving the rusty katana out of the way to prevent injury. Her arms clenched at the dead weight, eyes widening. "Don't you fall asleep yet! Keep with me ototo! Anata wa dare desu?? Talk to me!"

"Boku...wa..." Brown struggled to open and hazily peered at the wide open shoji. "Boku wa...dare desu?"

His head was too muddled to make things clear. What was his name again? It started with an 'I', but he couldn't remember the kanji spelling. It was like a word on the tip of his tongue, but pronunciation was out of grasp. Brows furrowed, eyes squeezed shut. His body tensed as if to help his brain.

Hands flattened on cold wood and helped keep him conscious. He was exhausted more than practice, as if the sword used his life-force for its own. The skin on one arm stretched and cracked the drying blood on it. He paid no mind and slowly pushed away, forearms trembling, taking in the room as if it had answers.

Weapons, mats, exercise bag, country flags, wood floors, white walls, window slats, shoji door, glass case...

The combination automatically came to him and brown widened. "Inaki...desu. Yamoi Inaki...desu..."

Tears of relief fell as Jayden beamed and eagerly nodded. "Un, un. Atashi no ototo-chan..." She whispered, inching closer.

He stared, taking in her features. She had the same colored eyes, long pitch hair, cheekbones, and slender figure. Her voice was strong and pronounced, like someone else's he knew. Brown squeezed, bangs shadowing his face.

Wild black hair.

Expressive brown eyes.

Beautiful curvaceous figure.

HER.

She was here! In this time...she was still the same! Of all the oddball, dumb luck! A hand gripped his head as a pain in the center flared to life. 'No...she's...that girl is...she's gone...isn't she?'

It was too strange and new and he didn't understand it one bit. Sudden memories played in the blackness of his lids, memories of a spitfire girl who reminded him so heavily of his first love...the girl who became his second...

The girl he lost.

A pressure on his arm made his eyes open. He looked up and warily peered at the girl in front of him. The hair and eyes were the same, but in his soul - in his heart - he knew they weren't the same. This girl was not the one in those memories.

She was someone else, but just as special.

"Come ototo...let's leave here." Quickly, Jayden sheathed the sword, cleaning off as much blood as possible, and set it back in the cases. She clicked the lock and moved to offer a hand.

He looked up, staring at her hand with a childish sense of curiosity. His injured thumb throbbed at being unattended and he stared at it. It needed to get dressed and the blood cleaned - hopefully before okaasan saw and worried.

Okaasan?

His hand slowly clasped hers, a good yank helping him to his feet. He looked down a few inches and innocently blinked. The feel of her pulse against his fingers hit something in his head and the pain lessened a bit. "Jayden...no nee-chan..."

Jayden avidly stared, head slightly tilting in response. It was like he was saying the name to pin her title back on...for her or him was unknown. "Come ototo...ikimasu."

"Aa..." An arm went around his waist and his was draped over her shoulder. He let her half carry him out, stopping only for his sandals. The shoji was left open, but it could be closed later.

He stopped and stared at the house, eyes wide. It was huge! The feeling was old by many decades, but it was home. In his heart, he knew it was.

'Home...'

Warmth invading his heart nearly made tears form, but he steeled himself and continued when Jayden started for the engawa. He slipped from the sandals, not caring they weren't straight, before Jayden released him to shut the patio.

It was a beautiful mix of old and new. The dining section screamed tradition, even if the kitchen was so strange-looking. A far off room looked the same as the dining area and he wanted to go explore it, but the arm returned to his waist.

"Ikimasu...ototo..."

Dumbly, he nodded and was guided past the eating room, onto some sort of fabric, and up a small group of stairs. He took in every possible detail of the hallway, peering in the room at the end. More tatami lined the ground and two oddly shaped beds took up a lot of space. It was so confined and he resisted the first movement to go in.

"Iie."

"Come ototo, listen to your nee-chan."

He paused, frowning at being forced into such a small area, and turned to let the girl know it. An encouraging, soft look met him and the more he stared, the more found himself loosening and finally giving a small nod.

It was almost hard to breathe as they passed the threshold. He never liked closed spaces and claustrophobia threatened worse than before. It was like eyes peering at him and brown jerked this way and that as if being taunted by those unseen.

"Here ototo...here is your bed."

His?

His smell drifted from the mattress and blankets as he was gently helped onto it. It confirmed what she said and for that reason he scooted to the center. He pulled the blankets over, looking at deep maroon and remembering another color that was on.

Brown jerked up and looked about the room as if the object was in visual range.

Where WAS that outfit anyway...

Hands slowly pressed against his shoulders and drew his attention back at hand. "Come ototo," Jayden softly coaxed, "lie down please. Do what your nee-chan says..."

He took her word for it - going on gut feeling - and shifted to horizontal. The covers drew up to his chin, a hand smoothing some bangs from his sight. He stared at her, noting worry and love. Sadness tinged in the lines of her brow, making this girl seem much older than she was.

A hand darted from underneath and grasped a wrist, not forcing her hand away from his face, but not letting it move. He stared, looking at her features again, trying to find more than a vague sense of knowledge.

Jayden forced uneasiness away from that gaze and smiled. "Get some rest ototo-chan. You go ahead and sleep - I'll make sure you're not bothered."

Her hand moved and covered his, methodically prying his fingers from hers. The hand dropped to the mattress and shifted back under the covers.

Jayden walked around and drew the shades to make it easier for him to sleep and stopped at the foot of the bed. She kneeled to self-consciously smooth the covers, feeling bad for being unable to do anything other than this and scared at what was transpiring. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me ototo-chan."

He absently nodded, watching as she left and quietly clicked the door closed. He stared at the door for what seemed eternity, wondering if she would come back in, before lids became heavier on their own. The trials and everything rushed upon him and his head tilted to one side.

There is always a great battle to end any conflict. The greater the pain and enemy, the harsher one strives to defeat that source of hurt.

If that was so, for what purpose was he seeing every vision from his dreams gathered together in what seemed a battle royal, only drawn in good and bad?

He didn't know the reason for being witness to magic and horror of so many deaths, nor did he have an explanation for being haunted by it. He didn't ask for any of this, but felt drawn and couldn't stop watching. He was frozen in place to keep from cringing at a body that flew to close to his spectral form or running to push one of the good out of the way of sharp teeth or claws.

The first - and only - time he laid eyes on the main enemy, he held a savage dislike that left a bitter taste in his mouth. There was nothing particularly physically threatening about the body, but the aura of malice and prideful, scornful look in painted eyes sickened him. Those were the eyes who considered everything inferior in the worst way and wanted to rid the world of anything they spotted.

Fists clenched as two males and a female waged war, the other two flying off for some odd reason. He watched them fight valiantly, almost synchronized with each other. It was beautiful and breathtaking to watch - pure and honest against a dark stain of the world.

But good and evil wage war and balance to keep from overpowering the other. It is the way of things and he understood that - it was a rule of the Dao - but it was always saddening when evil gains the upper hand for a short time.

He wanted to help - everything in his blood and bones was screaming to run forward and try to do ANYTHING for a diversion. His presence here was mysterious and would offset evil to allow good to gain victory.

But he was not allowed the chance...not allowed to help when he felt the urge to do so.

He studied each, finding the girl and boy who were in his dreams before. The white-haired boy was a constant and he felt recognition like none other spear him. A hand rose as if to gain attention, floating in the air like a specter.

He never witnessed a battle of this magnitude before - not in any of the other dreams which wouldn't let him rest at night. He flinched away from it mentally, wishing to tear his eyes from the blood that spattered the battlefield.

So much waste...so much useless death...

The two girls appeared and shifted the scales. This evil, he soon found, had many cards to play. It was safe to say - after the child fell to the ground, lifeless - he never hated anything in his life more than this despicable creature.

Why? Why couldn't it just die and save these poor souls the agony of its presence?? Why did it cling to life so strongly - why did it hold such a grudge against each of them?

He studied both girls and finding them almost identical, but one in totally different clothing closer to the girl who came to him before. She was here...but why? She was strong, as strong as the others in her own way. Brown avidly watched her every move, wanting to cry out in terror at the sickening pierce of flesh. The white-haired boy raced to her and cradled her to him.

Tears stung his eyes as his legs gave out, nothing felt as knees touched earth. Hands lay useless in his lap as he very clearly picked up their words.

Naze? Why them? They looked so happy...so close...

"You got your revenge...Inuyasha. I completed my duty...and since I had this with me in the beginning...I give it to you...to use as you wish."

"Fuck it! Why are you making mention if it now?!"

"Inuyasha –"

"You're staying quiet. I'm not hearing another word you have to say!"

"I love you...you know that right?"

"You can't leave me!"

His body slouched, blank eyes staring at his hands. So she dies...why did she have to die?

"I'm...sorry, but...I have to..."

"Damn it! Don't do this to me! I FORBID you to leave!"

"This time...you won't be able...to stop me. Please...don't forget me..."

"Ka – Kagome... Don't go..."

His eyes squeezed shut, agony eating his heart. A drop startled his eyes open and he looked to a chaste, beautiful kiss and absently touched his lips, feeling them tingle as if he were doing the act.

He stared at the boy, watching the snow-white head suddenly raise and turn his way. He startled and scrambled backward, eyes wide. He was seen?! How - he was in a dream!

An animalistic growl met the distance, slitted eyes full of emotion. He stared in abject shock, mouth gaping open as the comrades fizzled from sight. The boy stood as black enveloped the scene, their bodies giving an unearthly glow.

Omae...

A blood red outfit - one that tickled his mind to remembrance, but just out of reach right now - stopped at his feet. Gold looked down, pain and anger in their depths. He dumbly stared, unable to get his body to move.

'What...do you want?'

Keh! You KNOW what I want. Clawed hands shot out, shaped to grasp his throat. **You made me go through that again. You owe me now. I want my body! She died because of me and now she's back! You think I'm letting that chance escape me AGAIN?!**

A gurgle sounded as he tried to speak, to even think. Though they grasped his neck, the hands seemed to steal his very ability to make speech.

Hands grabbed wrists and applied pressure, skills coming to him. 'Y...YAMERO!' He cried, wrenching away. A foot lashed out and gave a sound kick to his stomach before he landed. He cried out against it.

Is THIS what I became...a weakling?! Get up! You're no match for me...if you can't fight me here, you won't stop me anywhere else.

He tried to stumble to his feet, but couldn't get stability with the foot tripping him. His training came again and he rolled a distance, allowing him to stagger to his feet. He assumed a basic fighting stance, body wary for anything.

There was a beat of silence, white bangs shadowing gold, before a throaty chuckle sounded. **You think you're going to beat me that way? **Fists clenched and blood dripped from the boy's skin. **You don't get it do you...you have everything! You got all what I never did! You had your chance to live - it's my turn to finish! Let me have what was mine!**

'Do you mean that girl?' The fierce look of the girl notching an arrow and Kalie appeared in front of him. His body stopped as he gawked. 'They're...the same? Masaka!! Kalie's alive! She's nothing like this! Yume yo!'

He was suddenly face-to-face with gold. Another hand wrapped around his throat and hoisted him into the blackness, feet dangling. He gripped the wrist again but couldn't free himself this time. **This is as real as my claws digging into your skin. I will NOT be stopped by the likes of you - you who always weakened me one night a month...**

Through the pain, brown peeked open and was surprised at finding tears making gold shimmer and intense pain. 'You...loved her...didn't you?'

His adversary scowled, bangs shadowing the view. **She's mine. She always was...through so many forms. She came back to me and I screwed up as I always did. Now that I have this chance, you're not going to stop me.**

'Yamero...' He pleaded, scratching for air. The view was getting fuzzy and that was not a good thing - even in a dream zone. 'Yamete kudasai!'

"Y...YAMERO!"

He shot up in bed, hands extended to grab, and nearly fell off the futon by offsetting himself.

A hand went to his head as sharp pain exploded. Brown squeezed shut, praying to the gods it would kill him or cease. His other went over his racing heart, taking deep breaths to try and calm it.

'Yume...yume deshita...' But it felt so real! 'Need...some water...' His throat was burning, mouth a desert. Night had come, making him wonder how long he was out and who heard him. He squinted and found Jayden in her bed, back to him. Had she not heard him shouting?? She was a sound sleeper, that was true, that would not save her.

He shook it off, absently throwing the covers off and feeling around for the exit. He wandered the hall to the bathroom and risked throwing the switch. It took a second for eyes to adjust and while they did, he splashed water over his face to banish the unsettling feeling and gulped water from a nearby glass.

He shut the faucet off and quickly dried off. A quick shake to get bangs from skin and a check to see if he missed a spot. He nearly screamed at seeing a vision other than his own glaring at him. Stumbling back and banging his head on the wall, making the pain return, he hissed and peered at the large mirror.

Fucking running away...coward... You were always the weak one!

He tiptoed to the sink, adrenaline allowing his body to run at a second's notice. "What...are you..."

Gold looked less than amused. **Stop playing games. You know, so remember.**

"Remember what?! What's there to remember? I would certainly remember a brute like you who tried to kill me!" Hands clutched the sink, the knowledge of hearing this voice in his head forgotten in anger.

Gold narrowed dangerously. **You think I'll give mercy to the likes of you?? You're who SHE wanted and who I never had to be with the one I failed to protect! I may LOOK like you, but I'm not you!**

"I'm not you either..." He replied. Another guttural laugh sounded. "Nani wa?"

White swished as the form moved back a bit. **Now I know what she kept going on about... Fucking rich...**

He stared in quiet, slowly coming to grips with his sanity as the mirror image seemed to think of something. He took a quick step to the door, hand on the switch. "You won't best me... I don't know who or WHAT you are...but leave me alone!"

You think you can rid yourself of me? You WOKE me!

"I don't care! Go back to where you came and leave me in peace!"

I won't leave now that I know something's going on. I don't have all the details, but you can be sure I'll find them.

His teeth grit. "Leave. Me. Alone." He uttered, malice in his voice. He flicked the light switch off and nearly stalked to his room.

'I'm not crazy. I'm not - I'm not!!' He paced the room, hands on his head, eyes on the floor to prevent tripping. He couldn't make sense of this and that bugged him the most. It wasn't a bad meal torturing him and he definitely didn't do anything to piss the gods off...

There seemed a presence other than Jayden's and he whirled to the doorway, seeing nothing. 'You won't beat me...' He vowed, eyes narrowing. 'Whatever demon or spirit you are, you can go back to the hells that spawned you! This is my life and I just got it back after so much chaos. If you think I'm going to let you take my happiness from me...you're dead wrong!'

The presence remained, but nothing happened. His body slowly relaxed after a while, but feared going to sleep again. He didn't want to risk another encounter. He plopped on his mattress and pulled legs to chest and draped his arms over them. His chin rested on the mass as he stared at the door as if watching and waiting for something to come and attack.

He'd be ready. He was going to fight this with every breath in his body!

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Dare-Who (is it) Mezamerimasu-Wake up Jidai-Age/Era Yamero mou-Stop it already Oyaji-dono-Polite way of saying father Anata wa dare desu-Who are you

Boku wa- I am Boku wa...dare desu?-Who am I? Un-Kind of like hai/aa/ee Atashi no ototo-chan-My little brother Ikimasu-Let's go/We're going Omae-Rude form of you

Masaka-It can't be Yume yo-It's a dream Yamete kudasai-Please stop it Yume...yume deshita-A dream...it was just a dream


	59. Ch 59

Jayden woke up with the sun in her face. Even facing the wall, it was high enough to get her. She groaned and gave in yawning, blinking, and rubbing her ear to get the sting gone. "What I get for remaining in one spot all night..." One hand went through hair, the other over her face. She turned, yawned again, and froze. Hands went to her eyes and scrubbed, then looked again.

She edged to the floor, hand floating across the space and halting inches from tousled black. It dropped as brown took in the room, neighboring bed, and locking with a peaceful face. A brow rose, hand millimeters away. "Oi, ototo -" Jayden gasped as her wrist was gripped. It wasn't crushing, simply wary. Brown blinked as she tried to get her heart to settle.

'So much for that coffee...'

Even brown peeked open as he blankly stared at a knee. He was aware of not being alone, but too tired to bother with details.

It'd been one hell of a long night. Time went on forever, but he didn't check the clock that much for fear of letting attention slip. He didn't want to think of sleep anymore than was thrust upon him. Last time he knew it was somewhere past three, but was anyone's guess when his eyes shut on their own and he flopped over.

That freaky guy was starting to piss him off. The death threats got annoying after a while and tempers clashed in a battle in the dark.

He relived a few scenarios, many of them despairing and fearful as well.

_A child picked on and shunned over his looks..._

_A teenage-looking boy fighting demons who got close enough to razor-sharp claws..._

_The meeting of a beautiful girl who became a first love...and the betrayal which led to their demise._

"What time is it?" He slurred, finally squinting at the morning.

"Almost ten ototo. Mind letting go of me now?"

His hand laxed in a second and ignored the roomy to roll over and watch shadows on the ceiling. Brown pinned on any random spot, trying to clear his head.

A brow furrowed a degree, idly watching Jayden out of the corner of his vision. Oddly enough, now that he was alone, he could feel someone in the room. It was very familiar and the hairs on his neck rose. He inched to sitting position, scanning every inch. Noises outside drifted in, but seemed very far away. His breath held in expectation, wondering if the thing would appear from nothing or simply walk in. His jaw clenched. Tension was getting to him and he could no longer be silent. Brown narrowed. "Where the hell are you?"

**In your HEAD moron.**

He startled. Irritation and exasperation came, but he was feeling neither. Among those, he could feel trepidation and uneasiness. These emotions were his and he tried not to get swallowed by the others.

**You can't ignore me and you can't fight me for long. One slip and you lose.**

He adopted the foreign emotions and added a few of his own. Fists clenched as he shifted to kneeling. "You won't control me. I don't know WHY you're in my head, but get out!"

**Not possible.**

"I CAN have you taken care of. There are ways..."

**You don't scare me.**

He snorted and stood. "This may be the age of technology, but I know of a few monks who study the old ways."

**Keh! Those stupid bouzu never beat me no matter how hard they tried! I've always been stronger than them...what makes you think yours will do any better?**

Brow narrowed. "Because you're out of your depth here. I can feel you - you're old...and old means out of touch."

**I know of your crowded modern world. Those idiots forced me to go to make sure that bitch was fine. She also took too damn long and forced me to bring her back too.**

He stopped in the hall and absently blinked at the sitting room. Recognition was pushing his senses and his home was the cause.

_The mustiness of time._

_The smell of cedar boards and invasion of moisture to age them._

_Large grounds - somewhat recognizable in their design._

_The smell of food, shoji, floorboards, wide spacing, tatami..._

_"Eh? Inuyasha?"_

_"Hey bitch...who said that it's okay to go home at your own convenience..."_

_"You...from where did you come out of..."_

_"From the well of course!"_

There was that girl again. She looked an awful lot like someone he knew, but lack of sleep and the intrusion to his mind was muddling his thoughts.

A hand went to his forehead as dull pain graced him with its presence. He grimaced against it and headed for the bathroom, hand automatically going for the storage cabinet. He grabbed two aspirin and snatched the glass by the faucet. As he made to fill it, quickly popping the pills, shock red caught his eye and he looked up.

That white-haired freak in recognizable get-up was glaring at him.

**Who's the freak you asshole?!**

Water spilled onto his hand and it jerked back. He gave a second of ignorance, gulping the amount down before leaning on the sink and giving the mononoke his attention.

The hair or the outfit, he couldn't tell what was more outlandish. He tried to place the date by design and stitching, but couldn't remember far back enough. He knew it was old due to the hakama, but that didn't satisfy his curiosity enough and asking was out of the question.

Too tired to retort, he gave a flat look and pushed away. "Give me back my reflection."

**When you give me back my body.**

"It's MY body." He mumbled, bored already. He started for the door.

**Where the fuck do you think YOU'RE going??**

In mid stride, it was like a vice clamped around every muscle and he off-balanced, crashing into the cabinet before sliding to tile. That was going to hurt later, but he was more worried about the sufficient lack of mobility and mutiny of ordering his limbs to move.

"What the fuck are you doing to me?!"

**Taking back what's mine. I'm stronger than you, so don't try to struggle.**

He still resisted. "This...is...MY body..." It was hard to see and almost like someone cast a dark curtain over his face. Sleep hit like lightening, though not from staying up all night, and he fought that as well. Somehow he knew if he gave in, he would never get control back.

**Mine now.**

Brown dully stared as his head thumped against tile. There was muted noise just outside and suddenly the door was thrown aside and banged him in the shin. "Ototo!?"

The expressionless look soon melted when he was shifted and light hurt his eyes. He blinked a few times before shaking and loud voice registered. "Damn it! Stop talking so loud!"

Jayden's eyes widened as she sat back in shock. Mentally snapping forward, she leaned over him again. "Ototo...daijoubu?? There's a bruise on your cheek." Hands went under shoulders. "Why don't you sit up and I'll help you to the kitchen for ice -"

He jerked from her hold and backed away. "I can stand on my own and I don't need your help."

Jayden's jaw clenched against the hurt flooding her. She tried to be defiant, but the proud, almost egotistical look in her ototo's eyes off-set her. "Ototo..."

"Uresai! Shit...women always talk too much..." He grumbled, standing. Leaving Jayden on the floor, he passed the doorway and took a left. Not even three steps outside, an odd weight over his back made him pause. With an exasperated look, a hand went to his neck, eyes widening at what he found. "What the fuck?!"

It was a braid. His hair was in a braid. 'A fucking braid...' Brown quickly smoldered as he yanked the tie out, not caring how much pain it put him in. 'Stupid idiot. My hair is NOT to be put in a braid! What the hell was he thinking?!'

"Damn idiot anyway for -" He blinked and dumbly stood at the bottom step, seeing and smelling so many new things as much as weak senses allowed.

The home was elaborate. He could see traditional traces, but this fur stuff underfoot was interesting to touch and baffled him. He touched the top of the steps, brow furrowing in confusion. What kind of animal did they skin to do this? It felt like fiber from what he gathered.

Noises behind gained rapid attention and he whipped to them, body tense and ready for anything. Brown widened and he dumbly stared again at finding a woman moving around next to what vaguely looked like the cooking room.

He shuffled off the bottom step and to the edge of tatami, avidly watching the middle-age woman move about. He couldn't take his eyes off her and everything in this body was saying she wasn't a threat and there was a bond.

She finally spotted him and a shocked but pleasant look met him. "Ah musuko...how odd to see you up so early. If you wouldn't mind, can you help set the table for me? Jayden left to go look at a noise and she isn't back yet." There was a kind smile and soft eyes before she turned to the stove and presented her back.

For someone to be so open, carefree, and trusting to anyone who could pass... His knees nearly gave out at a word he recognized over this new language - one he didn't know and yet oddly did at the same time.

'Musuko... Is she...ofukuro?'

His heart twinged as he slowly moved forward; mechanically going to cupboards he didn't know and grabbing the exact number he didn't count out. He let the body do these things as his mind pondered this.

He had a mother again. This body was gifted with what seemed a family. He felt jealous as he watched hands expertly put plates in their proper spots before going to other drawers. He took in details as they moved almost on their own, amazed at this.

This weakling had what he lacked for so long. It was some other world in the literal and figurative sense.

He took in the eating and cooking areas, spying yet MORE rooms past these and was astounded at the size. They could easily fit a dozen people here and still have room for more! What did one family need that much space for?? Usually a hut the size of the cooking and eating rooms served for a family of four and that was enough.

'This age is so strange...' He groused, watching hands set chopsticks on their holders. He looked at the plates, seeing tradition in design and the eating area itself. Tatami lay in this corner, with a chabudai and surrounding zabuton. The family must be rather wealthy to have that and so much space. Though he was not one for wealth and despised the rich - especially the well-off who always treated him horribly - ofukuro seemed like a good woman at least.

He took control of movement when something came to mind. After setting the last teacup down, he counted the number of plates and marveled at the number. Either this woman and the other often had some guests over, or more people lived here than what he saw. He tried to find memories to help ease discomfort, but the presence was dangerously close to them so he opted to ignore them and keep control.

That was more important than knowing what was going on. He could find out if it was necessary and deal with it when the time came.

Something caught his attention and he quickly walked to a large window to find what it was. His eyes narrowed at a middle-aged man and another elderly carrying loose branches and heading for a small pile to the side of some yard. They looked friendly enough, but he knew from experience friendly faces couldn't be trusted.

"Ofukuro...there are two men out there..." He reported, casting her a glance.

Brow furrowing, Kristine leaned over the sink and smiled. "Ah, Omo-kun and Kekoy no ojiisan. Why don't you tell them to come inside and I'll have some tea ready."

Omo-kun? Kekoy no OJIISAN??

'Fuck...a mother AND grandfather?!'

He never had anything more than his mother and the vaguest memories of his father. Now it seemed this Omo was well-known to his mother and he wondered the level. This man had better be strong in order to take care of someone special to him. Even though he didn't know the mother well enough, she gave life to this body and that's all he needed to know. Her instinctive kindness made protection rise, and he warily stepped out onto the engawa, not caring about sandals.

"Oi, omae-ra..."

Both men stopped and blinked. He nearly bristled, but didn't want to unsettle a situation more foreign than Kagome's time. Not until he knew the threat of everything around and what he needed to protect.

A thumb jerked inside. "Ofukuro says food is ready."

Omo smiled and nodded. "Time to go otousan. Shall I take your bundle for you and let you head in?"

Kekoy snorted and turned first. "I'm perfectly capable of managing such a feeble load. You go in and see how much Kristine has finished and put the boy to work."

Omo grinned and headed for the back door, smiling. "How much has okaasan got done musuko?"

He nearly balked as the man stopped to be let inside. A mother, grandfather, AND father?! 'What the hell??' He didn't know how to deal with having a father who paid attention and seemed loving at that. It wasn't right that the father seemed so attentive to his child, and he was unsure of how to handle the brief pat before gently being moved to the side.

He treated ofukuro with the respect she needed, but never felt oyaji needed the same amount. A few emotions toward these people called family came from the other. He didn't know how to take them and stepped inside, leaving the door open for the one coming in behind.

A quick slap on the shoulder gained attention and he whirled with a glare. Kekoy gave a less-than-happy look and walked past. "Oi! Sore wa -"

"Youth these days. Don't even let your elders pass through..."

He bristled, but Kristine stopped next to him and smiled before digging into a drawer. She handed him a small, colored bottle and turned for the sink. "Here musuko...please go wake hisobosan and hisofusan and tell to hisobosan take her medicine. And don't let her skip it either."

He stared at the color, idly shaking the contents and wondering what they were exactly. He trusted ofukuro when she said it was medicine, but it certainly didn't look like it. He absently took the glass and took a few steps in the direction she gently pushed him in before stopping.

Not only did he not know where the room was, but now he had MORE family than originally thought. Shit...he thought having two parents was enough, grandparents more amazing than reality, but GREAT grandparents?? How long did people of this age live anyway??

He chanced a root through this person's head to find the people and room needed. Two gentle-looking, wrinkled faces met his vision.

A family of three extra generations was more than he ever expected. His primary goal was getting to find Kagome again - which a quick look would help - anything else wasn't really thought of. The idea of having a mother was nice, but he really didn't need anyone else. All he needed was the two most important women in his life to protect and take care of.

Doing as ofukuro ordered, he used the discovered route and took the closed door on the right. The last door on the left - the one he knew was his sleeping area - was cracked, but he ignored the quiet shuffling inside.

He wondered if it was necessary to knock, though he always barged in on babaa. But this was not his time and not his family. Though politeness to humans was never an issue, he was sadly one and would only embarrass himself by trying to act hanyou right now.

He settled for slowly peeking the door in, sticking his head in and unconsciously sniffing the area. What he got was the smell of old people and his nose wrinkled against it. There was a faint trace of some perfume which made him enter a little more.

He swung the door open, but kept it from banging against the wall when two bodies snuggled together on a large, high-raised bed caught his attention. He stared a few paces from the foot, idly wondering if he and Kagome would live that long. Could they be as close as these two people were? Would he be able to sleep like that with her, when she was found? His heart pounded at the thought of being able to hold her again and a fist clenched against the bottle, making it rattle a little.

He startled at slight shifting and cheeks flamed when a pair of aged brown met across the way.

"Ah himagomusuko...what are you doing here, standing so quietly like that?" Mira sat up and then tapped the shoulder she was resting against. "Oi jijii...get up. Breakfast is ready."

Setsumo rolled over and scratched a nearly bald head. He yanked the tie off his braid and started unraveling it to be put in order again. "Eh? Himagomusuko, what are you holding? Did your hahaue tell you Mira needed those horrible things?"

The hand cradling the bottle lifted. "Ofukuro said for you to take these and you'll take them."

Mira stared as he leaned over the edge of the bed, holding both for her to take...looking almost uncomfortable. She spared Sestumo a glance before quietly taking the glass and bottle. She opened the bottle without complaint and took one. She gave the pills back, brown on brown. She stared, looking at emotion in those depths, brow furrowing the tiniest of degrees.

"Himagomusuko...you're different. Is something on your mind?"

He jerked as if someone pricked him with a sword. How did the old woman know?? He cast a suspicious glance, watching her shift to get out of bed and stand before him. He tensed a little, wondering if she would punish him for being disrespectful and was ready to defend himself. No woman would get the best of him - never had and he didn't let Kagome push him around.

Much... Kind of... Sort of...

'Oh who the hell am I kidding?!'

A wrinkled hand grabbed a fistful of hair and gently tugged. He watched, eyes looking for any intent on her face, but found nothing. "What are you doing??"

Mira met his gaze, looking for what seemed hours. She finally let go of his hair, eyeing his body. "You took out the braid again. That makes quite a few times. Why do you wear it loose?"

His head jerked up. "Keh! I'm not wearing my hair in the manner of some sissy!" There was no retort as he expected and he looked into brown again.

Mira only nodded and stepped around, giving a slight pat on the shoulder.

For some reason he felt bad and didn't know why. It irritated him to feel something without cause and he gripped the bottle with wish to shatter it. He gave the old man a look as he shifted out of bed and shuttered a glare before twisting and almost stalking out.

He watched the woman tackle the stairs and an inane urge to help her hit, but he forced limbs to keep from moving and looked to the bottle, mind buzzing. Everyone would be sitting for breakfast and though he was hungry and eager to taste food again in so long - as long as it wasn't curry - he couldn't deal with all those people. He wasn't orientated with humans, even if they were family. Ofukuro was the only one he'd tolerate.

He needed to get out of here. The closed spaces and walls were getting to him. He needed natural light. Damn the others and what they thought, they weren't his family - no matter how nice it sounded to finally have one. They were all human anyway.

He easily hopped the steps and paused when he noticed it was hard to shift. He stared at the long-sleeve shirt and some kind of thick, blue hakama-looking wear. His nose wrinkled as he lifted a knee and plucked at the material on his chest. It was airy enough, but stuck to his skin almost. Not even his trusty haori and hakama when wet were this bad. The sleeves were annoying at times, but he dealt with those.

This had to go too. He set the pills on a counter and turned to go change.

"Ah, musuko...that nice girl called, so I put her on hold so you can talk to her."

He twisted, a confused look in his eyes. "Girl? What girl??"

Mira looked up from her tea. "Kalie-ojousan."

He blinked and looked to the elder. He wanted to retort that he knew no such name, but a memory and the presence surged.

_Brown hair._

_Emerald eyes._

_Petite figure._

_Kind, hard-working personality._

_His girlfriend._

Pain shot up his head and spread through his neck as her face came to mind. Eyes squeezed shut as he grimaced, a hand cradling the side. He was getting too confused and it was making him feel more closed-in. Dogs weren't meant to be caged and that's what he felt at this moment.

He twirled for the stairs, eyes peeking open against the annoyance. "Don't know her." He grumbled, heading up.

He left everyone wide-eyed and blinking in confusion and wonder, looking at each other as if the person could provide answers to his behavior.

He shoved the door open and strode to the dark color of his bed. A chest at the foot lay there and he dropped in front of it, chancing what he could of memories in this world. 'It's in here somewhere and I'll be damned if I'm going to wear this restrictive shit all day long!' After throwing the second hakama and third juban carelessly aside, he sensed a presence and turned.

Jayden stared, cheeks wet, arms around legs at her chest. She looked as small as she felt and even smaller when pinned with almost aggressive brown. She tried not to shy away in unease, wondering at his sudden shift in behavior. Teeth bit her lip before bothering to speak. "Ototo-chan...nani o shimasu?"

He stared, seeing sadness and it quelled some of the emotions raging inside. A thread of guilt sewn in with the rest, making him more somber than before, knowing he created that look. He felt a little bad, knowing at the time this girl was trying to help. He saw the same look on Kagome's face before and it never failed to hit him in the gut.

But this girl wasn't Kagome and only Kagome had the power to sway him into doing something he normally wouldn't do. This person would have to earn that privilege first.

He ignored her and dug to the bottom, finding a primly folded swath of red. He ventured a grin - the first today - and pulled. He tossed the outfit, juban, and fundoshi on the bed and made to yank the shirt off.

Jayden startled, face flaming. "Ototo!" Hands covered her eyes, not in the mood to see her brother stark naked. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"What does it look like??" He retorted, finagling the coverings off his legs. "Changing." A flimsy cloth covered his lap and he blinked at it. He shrugged and yanked them off as well, snatching the fundoshi from the bed.

It seemed a while since he wore this, but still not quite so long. He made quick work of putting everything on. He paused when tying the hakama, tightening the knots and casting Jayden a dry look. "Oi onna...you can look now."

Jayden's fingers peeked open a slit and she mentally sighed in relief. Anger at the rough treatment reared up as she glared. "What's the big idea of you tossing clothes around like you're the only one living in this room, huh?? I don't care to see you naked anymore than I did years ago! Show the same respect I show to you!"

He tugged the haori into place, barely listening. "Mou uresai..." He muttered, deftly tying everything. Shoulders rotated to get the feel of a more known set of clothes. Another smile came at the freeness. "Ah, much better."

He turned and checked himself in a nearby mirror, feeling more like himself - albeit human - than before and drew comfort in that fact. These were a pretty good imitation of his old fire rat, but the magic wasn't there. This was just plain cloth and while he would've liked the knowledge of magic, he was happy to have this.

Disregarding the tabi and zouri - never having use for them before - he left the clothes where they were and started for the door.

"Oi! Ototo! Come back here and pick up this mess! Where do you think you're going??"

He ignored the girl and hopped the steps again. He found everyone seated with ofukuro setting the table. He met a few pairs of eyes, turning his nose up a little at the shock and unasked questions. He didn't need to answer anything they had to say and started for the door, more searching telling him exactly where he could go to be alone and find a way to survive.

More importantly, a way back to Kagome.

"Musuko, where are you going?"

He stopped at that soft voice almost as if running into a wall. His jaw clenched, head bowing. "Out ofukuro."

"In THAT??"

"You go put that back Inaki - that outfit is reserved for special occasions only!"

He bristled at the order and snorted. He ignored the rambling and opened the door, shutting it to drown out their voices. With a quick scan of the area, knowing they wouldn't give him much time before chasing after - he took off down the street.

He was annoyed after dashing through the third yard that this body hadn't the calluses for long-distanced running. It wasn't equipped for sprints or his normal stride and it pissed him off to have to keep stopping. He wanted to sit in the highest tree he could find and watch the sun set for some clarity. The fact that people lived so close was strange, and dangerous. He was too easy to spot in this color and could be reported if someone recognized him.

The fire rat could've been useful in some times where branches scratched at him. This cloth - whatever it was - snagged too easily and many times he had to stop and untangle himself. He had to do the same with his hair, and almost - but not quite - wished for the stupid braid back.

He walked through the forest, recognition coming. It was confusing to know a place you'd never been to, but he used information to his benefit and found the tree this body normally sat in.

He looked at the highest branch and looked put out. It was a few stories up and if he was the normal half-breed, he could clear the entire tree in one jump. Now he had to climb it like a monkey and that was annoying enough without thinking of how the sleeves would get in his way.

He glared in annoyance, but jumped for the first limb and wrapped his legs around it. Climbing a tree this way proved slower than his normal jump-and-land. He was glad no one was around to see his clumsy attempts.

The view was reward enough and he tried to situate on the limb for long term. He eyed it in appreciation, a small smile tugging.

After a bit, he figured getting to business was a good idea. Where to start was the issue. His eyes closed, brow furrowing in deep concentration.

The main and only issue was finding where Kagome was and getting to her. He dared a venture into the memories of this time, seeing the girl spoke of from earlier. The face looked wrong, though still held similar traits, and he knew it wasn't all. Digging deeper found more recent faces, one that mirrored Kagome exactly.

_"I feel like...I don't know you..." They were so different... How could she be a different person when he left her side only a day?? Sure he noticed some strange behavior recently, but didn't think anything of it._

_-----_

_Her amiable behavior was setting off warning bells and arms forced her to viewing length as he stared at brown. He was taken aback at that and gave her a good once-over. He didn't question the hair change - it looked kinda nice on her really, but didn't notice the eyes with all that happened. He thought he saw a trace of them in certain lighting and always attributed it his mind playing tricks on him. K didn't like contacts and she had green eyes._

_But now they were dark brown - just like his._

If that girl was Kagome, he was going to give her so much shit. Now that he lost the prayer beads, she couldn't sit him in retribution either. He evilly grinned, wondering what else he could do that earned him unjust punishment in the past.

How many times was Kagome going to be reincarnated?? Did her soul merit that many favors and do that many good deeds along the way to allow it? Were they forever going to be tied together in whatever form or name given to her spirit? Not that spending the rest of his lives - given the chance - with Kagome was an issue. It sounded rather appealing...so long as she stopped blowing up on him. The lack of necklace would help, but her temper was still there and recent checking saw it easily.

'You...are an asshole...'

He jumped and nearly fell off the tree. He chided himself on too much prying, knowing from earlier traipsing the other would feel him and find the connection between conscious and unconscious. It was only a matter of time, but at least he was in the middle of nowhere to deal with it.

"Keh. You're the one who kept my body away from me."

'It's MINE! And what the fuck did you abuse my family for?! Have you no respect for your elders...for your siblings and parents?!'

"I had no family." He bit. "I had ofukuro and that was it. I don't need all those people anyway. The old just get in the way and have to be protected and that girl looked like she could handle herself without me."

'Yurushimasen yo! Go back to the abyss where you came from and leave me in peace!'

"Not going to happen. I'm in control and that's all you need to know. From now on, you're going to be in the dark with no body to sustain you outside your mind." He could feel the presence seethe and grinned.

'You think you have all the power just because you're in control...but I've been the one in charge for twenty-four years. I know my body better than you do.'

"And I've had my body for three times that age! Even if I've been asleep, you think you can wrestle my hold? You have no experience losing and regaining your soul. You're below me!"

There was a beat of silence and he almost thought the pest gave up, but there was a violent mental shove he was unprepared for. As if physically pushed, he teetered and made to grasp the trunk for balance. Lack of claws kept him from getting a grip and he landed painfully on his side and landed another blow to his head before managing to get a grip.

"Are you trying to kill us both?!" He snarled, using legs as helpers.

'I have nothing to lose right now. If you won't give back my body, I have to do whatever it takes to get it back. You're fighting for keeps and so am I.'

Intense pain rendered him nearly blind and white spots clouded sight. His head shook to try and clear them, but the blow to his head jabbed more pain up his neck. This high up was dangerous with the promise and he came too far to let death chase him back again. He made for the ground, pain growing quicker than he could move. Up was easier than down and he nearly passed out by the time feet touched cold, hard ground.

He staggered, legs widening for balance, hands clutching his head. "Ya - yamero...yo..." He grit, eyes squeezed shut. "Kisama...mou yamete!"

'Kiss my ass!'

He wanted to know what those words meant, but lost the battle with such a weak body and slumped to the ground. The rough, crinkly texture of leaves was the last thing he saw before total blackness surrounded him.

He searched the area, knowing his human side was hidden somewhere. Ears twitched and he realized he was finally hanyou again. Glad for the attributes, he felt more powerful and confident for a win here. **Oi! Come out you coward!**

'I'm not hiding. I am this place. You're in my mind and I realized that here is where I call the shots.'

He snorted. ** Don't think so highly of yourself. I beat you here other times and I can do it again.**

'It's time YOU stop thinking so high of yourself. You trying to take away the one thing I own until my death gives me incentive to fight with any method I can think of - dirty or not.'

Gold looked around, narrow and wary. **Then come out if you're not afraid to fight me. Stop cowering in the blackness of your pathetic mind!**

'Glad to.'

In front of him stood his human form, shroud in the same red fire rat imitation. His head jerked back in mild amusement. **Even the same clothes. Doesn't that tell you anything?**

'This is the thing my physical form wears and it's the last thing I saw. I take it to this realm as well.' Hands cracked as he shifted to a fighting stance. 'I'll fight you as long as I have to and here I have no physical body to tire. You don't have it as easy as you think.'

Arms crossed into his haori, assuming a higher-than-thou stance, disregarding the battle stance. ** Keh! Your mind was weak in the beginning. What makes me think you gained any strength since?**

'Because I was unprepared for you then. I know more of you now from your memories. I know you and what you want...and you're not going to have her!'

He growled, claws flexing. **NO ONE tells me what I can and can't have! Especially Kagome! **He crouched low, judged the distance - which was hard with no physical plane - and jumped to attack.

A howl came with extended claws, but he was ready for anything. Walk-through attacks from many battles through this animal's mind taught him a lot, and also gave pointers on dirty fighting.

It was hard to have depth perception in pitch with the only light from two bodies, so he went with the light and hoped for the best. Hands extended and grasped wrists, using the momentum to throw the body before they could do any harm. Though harm in the subconscious level was hard to pinpoint, the physical body as representation of the mind might be convinced this was real. Though he never remembered a dream where he was in pain, this wasn't a dream.

An enraged cry arced before any sense of floor was found and Inaki was ready for another spring. There wasn't a long wait and he tensed, watching hands and feet for sudden movements. A hand whipped out, grabbing loose white hair and yanking, getting a yelp of pain and dropping his nemesis again.

A growl sounded before Inuyasha jumped to his feet and whirled around. **You're starting to piss me off.**

'My head - my rules.'

There was a loud snarl before Inuyasha charged and grasped cloth. He hoisted the body in the air with a hand and slammed him into unseen ground.

Inaki grunted and brown squeezed shut. A strong hand went around his throat and lifted him into the air, claws squeezing. **If I break your neck, I win.**

'If you break my neck...we both die.'

Gold narrowed. ** You're lying.**

'My body, remember? You're an intrusion in it and if you kill me here, you screw yourself over worse than trying to take control.'

In an odd way, it made sense. And frustrated him to no end. **Then I'll just take control until your puny human body gives out at the end of its life.**

Hands clenched wrist, trying to remember the exact way to attack back and free himself. 'No matter what you do...you won't get her to see you for anyone but me.'

Teeth flashed as the hand slammed him to the ground but remained attached. **Shut the fuck up! You're my human form...Kagome will see me for that and be happy that I'm even around to be with her. That's what I wished for and though I didn't think clearly enough, it worked!**

He chanced a smirk, readying an opening. 'What's wrong Inuyasha? Insecure about the accusations you made about a certain girl and Kagome?' Seeing that thread of guilt, a leg swung out and landed right at a nerve he knew located to the arm. It spasmed and he rolled away enough to get to his feet. 'You're just a second to me.'

**SHUT UP!** Inuyasha lunged anger, guilt, and pain on his face. **You don't know Kagome the way I do! She wouldn't judge me - she never has!**

He dove out of the way, seeing murder quite clearly directed for him. It was easy to use the girl as a distraction, even when she wasn't here. If he could offset the hanyou enough to make him lose concentration, he would make his escape and keep this from ever happening again.

Inuyasha stood with clenched fists, cold molten sizing up his counterpart. **You're as bad as Naraku. You don't fight your own battles and try to sway those around you with evil words. What the fuck kind of person did I become in this life??**

He glared. 'You aren't me!! I would never let myself be the kind of person who has no disregard for others or treats people the way you do! You don't care about anyone but yourself and Kagome! There's a whole fucking world out there you ignored in your life. Now it's over and I'm the one with your face!'

Inuyasha smirked. **Get over it.** He lunged again and feinted to the side, lashing out with a leg and kicking...effectively sending the human into the distance.

He wasn't expecting that and knew Inuyasha wouldn't give him time to get his bearings. Dirty fighting might not be ethical or his style, but it was working. 'You're upset because you know I'm right!'

**Don't flatter yourself! **A fist shot vertical and stopped with some semblance of pain coming as it landed on black. It turned into a palm to support his weight as a leg shot out, missing his target by inches.

Inaki stood and jumped from a low kick meant to take his head off. 'You had your chance with Kagome AND Kikyou, and twice you screwed up. I'm not about to let you ruin my life because of your selfish desires.'

**I didn't screw up anything! That was all Naraku! He was the one who enjoyed messing with my life - my head...just like you are! I never got my chance to make things right and you're denying me that!**

'Not my problem! This is my life now and you don't belong in it!' He stopped a distance away and turned, trying to concentrate. With encounters like these, he could almost feel that thread of consciousness whenever in these situations. If he wished to wake up hard enough, Yume-sama would grant him his wish. 'You lose.'

Inuyasha stopped, tensing at the change in battle. **We're not finished here...**

He could feel the bridge start to merge and bothered a small lapse in concentration. 'Au contraire...we were finished the second you came here.'

Knowing something was going on, Inuyasha took off as fast as possible. Gold widened at seeing his human form blur quite rapidly. **You're not leaving! I won't let you!**

'My body - my rules. And if you think for one second I'm going to let you take control again - especially now that I know how to keep you from doing so - you're crazy. Bai bai Inuyasha...'

**MATTE! ** In desperate attempt to have a hold on any kind, Inuyasha dove straight for the form, claws extended to grab. He gave a defeated cry of anger upon going right through and tucked into a roll. A fist harshly beat on the black, wanting to tear something apart. **Damn it! Come back and fight me! Kisama!!**

-----

Brown shot open as he automatically rolled away and landed against something. Hands went to punch and stopped seconds away from splitting his knuckles on the bark of his favorite tree.

"I'm back..." He smiled in relief and was racked with pain. He hissed when trying to sit up and used the tree for support.

**You god damn fucking prick...**

Teeth grit against the onslaught of pain in his head, and he went limp to handle it. 'Deal with it. What the hell do you think you did to me? How does it feel to have control and be forced into the background, ne??'

There was a pause, and anger mixed with pouting. **You're going to regret messing with me. If you know me, you know I don't like being ordered and pushed around.**

'Neither do I. If you're supposed to be me, take a hint of how I feel and go away.'

**Not fucking happening.**

He sighed, head thumping against wood. 'Didn't think so...'

**If you think I'm doing you any favors by letting you get your strength back...**

'I don't expect you to do anything for me because I know you WON'T.' He glowered, glaring at dead leaves. 'I can deal with you, just so you know.'

**You're going to regret ever doing so too.**

Pain intensified and hands went to his head to massage the area. What he wouldn't give for a few aspirin or something, but he knew if he went back and lost control, he would definitely not get it back now that his sneakiness was found out.

Like it or not, he would have to stay here and find a way to survive until he mastered this. It would take a while he knew, but he couldn't risk exposing his family to someone he never wanted to be. Two sides of the same coin? Maybe...but he didn't ever want to twist the other side and see what it was like in-depth.

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Mononoke-Monster Chabudai-Low dining table Omae-ra-You guys **(rude form of you) **Sore wa-That's/That was Ofukuro-Mother **(Not too sure how polite)**

Nani o shimasu?-What are you doing? Mou uresai-Shut up already Kisama...mou yamete-Stop it already...bastard Bai bai-Bye bye


	60. Ch 60 10,31,2098 6th Commentary

It was not the best idea in the world. He was safe and warm yes, but food and water were issues. He couldn't risk exposure in this outfit and couldn't go home for money. Right now was fragile, as the voice shouted almost every second of the sun and remained hostile. Twice sleep nearly overpowered him and a physical, dual mind-wrestling match occurred, his body spasming as a side effect.

His family didn't need that kind of stress and worry. If he knew how, he would escape to the city temple and beg the priests for release, but they knew the elders. His behavior was too erratic and they would see the intrusion to his soul. He was born with something foreign already, now it reached metaphysical.

Every bit of meditative concentration was harnessed. He rarely allowed thoughts of those he knew to enter his head, as it was a distraction. Thinking of Kalie especially was a catalyst for the intruder and everything started again.

He managed to pass the day to mid-afternoon. Chilly temperatures didn't help his appetite – as shivering only used more energy – but it WAS beautiful outside. He couldn't help but admire it, able to do so while there was a break from the annoying haunt.

There was no real wind, but it was cloudy with promise of rain. Hands stuffed in bulky sleeves wrapped around his legs. Having such a thick mane helped too. If only there was food...

He wasn't going to last long here and eating leaves didn't appeal to him. He couldn't hunt, and even if he did, precious energy would be wasted on trying to start a fire.

Something else he couldn't do.

He was screwed...but pride, stubbornness, and fear kept him from leaving the safety of this well-known place. He knew this forest like the back of his hand and upon finding he was here, pulled the feel of his embedded presence to gain strength.

He sighed, slumping further against bark and shifted to cover his legs with leaves. 'You are SUCH a pain in the ass...'

**Fuck you.**

'No thanks, I do that enough as it is.' He smirked at embarrassment and sputtering for words. 'Joudan desu. You haven't heard that I guess.'

**Keh!**

If he wasn't careful, this banter was going to be fun. He did NOT want to befriend such a thing. Brown dully stared at any random spot, ignoring one problem for another. He was still at a loss, the only ideas simple, but risky. He would be okay till nightfall if he kept pulse and temperature in check, but tomorrow was danger zone.

He sighed, finger absently tapping against an arm.

**You're pathetic.**

'Go away...I can't deal with you right now.'

There was a thread of amusement. **You're weak. You can't even take care of yourself.**

He glared at the makeshift blanket. 'You're the cause of this! I can't be around my family like this! What do you care – you probably never cared about the way people looked or thought about you.' There was silence, which he found a little odd. Brown suspiciously narrowed at almost subdued persona. 'What's with the changes? Why did you back away?'

**...You're not the only one who had the same shit happen.**

He blinked, a brow rising. 'Don't tell me you're feeling SORROW...'

**Keh! You're too pathetic NOT to feel sorry for. Why the hell can't you hunt?**

'Excuse ME for living a life of modern conveniences.' He spat. 'I've never had to stoop to act like an animal to survive.' There was a mental growl which unsettled him a little.

The noise died down and thoughtful silence made him wary. It was quiet a while, but he could sense a small whirlwind of thought. It went on so long he went back to ignoring it and was jolted to attention when emotion shifted.

**Alright.**

'What?'

Irritation came. **Don't make me repeat myself! I'll help this once, but only because I have no intentions of dying from your stupidity.**

'Your kindness is SO appreciated.' He sighed, shaking his head and standing. 'So what am I supposed to do?'

Downwind was such an interesting concept. He argued for a moment of how to hide until being forced to accept a level that gave him the know-how to do what was natural without losing control. His nativity irritated the voice until it gave in without bargain.

The rush of knowledge was staggering. Movement and eyesight were easy and so much came to him. It took a little thinking of what was useable nearby and a long time to catch even a middle-sized rabbit. He used borrowed logic to make a fire, wondering if his catch would go bad by the time a spark lit.

It was a strange feeling to do what he did and skin a once live animal. It almost made him sick – especially the feel of blood on his hands – but mirth from his 'teacher' made him grit his teeth. His stomach was rumbling fiercely and smells started to make the carcass appetizing after a beginning roast.

Eating it was another challenge. The taste of blood nearly daunted him, but cooked meat didn't. It was oddly satisfying and he added some twigs to keep the fire going for extra warmth. He sat hunched close and stared just above the flames, watching sparks drift off.

His body was sated, but he wasn't as pleasant. Skills retreated and somberness rose. 'You know...we can't live like this and I can't be you.'

He expected a retort or defensiveness, but darkness matched on the inside. **I know this. We're too different now.**

He was thoughtful for a while, digging through later memories with little resistance, but definite awareness. 'You know...I wonder how we ended up like this if we're supposed to be the same. How did you and I split?'

**I don't know, but I want that answered. It doesn't make sense.**

He absently nodded. There were plenty of questions with no one to explain them. The brief peace was nice, but he didn't trust the voice yet. There were too many instances where he was taken by surprise. As much as he longed for home, his family, and Kalie, he couldn't resist them throwing him in the nuthouse. He couldn't stand seeing the look of horror on her face.

His heart clenched. "Kalie..."

**You DO realize who that is right?**

'That's almost too far-fetched...if you don't count this.'

**It IS Kagome! I know it is – she still smells the same and I'll never forget her scent!**

_He went to breathe in the ever-present vanilla to calm his nerves and was shocked at finding it totally absent. Brown shot wide against her hair. He quietly sniffed, finding the smell of lilacs, shampoos, and...grass?? He knew she had no access to her stuff at the hospital, but every time he was around, vanilla seemed to radiate from her. It was something he associated with her. This, although nice, wasn't the smell he knew and took comfort in._

'Even if it was...how do you expect to tell her? Is it fair to make her be someone you know?' Silence met his questions. Dull brown shifted to the side. 'I don't want you to make me lose the first person I've ever loved. I won't scare her away.'

**So what do you expect me to do? Keep me here and watch you fuck my bitch?**

He bristled and glared. 'Kalie is NOT a bitch!'

**Keh! They said the same damn thing. Mou...none of you understand!**

He belayed a retort only through curiosity at such frustration. 'Just call her by her name...you can do that easily enough.' He got a snort for an answer and left the rest alone.

Sleep started creeping up again and he was almost inclined to let it come, if not for the presence. This small peace wasn't that bad, but it still couldn't be trusted. Even resting had disadvantages...mostly because no one could tend to the fire.

It was so tempting to nod off, but even asking for a bit of time was too much. Another fight could take place in the subconscious and he would sooner be killed than give leeway.

**I'm not THAT horrible. Don't make me out to be a monster!**

'But you are. You even look like it.'

**Keh! Shows how much YOU know.** There was a thread of silence, then resignation. **You can go ahead and sleep – I'll keep watch.**

'Do you expect me to believe you after everything you've done and said?? You know I can't trust you!'

**Maybe...but like I said before – you're no good to me dead.**

He sighed. 'Who will make sure the fire doesn't spread? I'm not going to let you have control just for that...I know I won't get it back again. How are you going to be alert with my eyes closed?'

**Ha! Shows how much you know. My name isn't INUyasha for no reason.**

He was not really appreciating the sarcasm, but was intrigued. 'So you're a human-looking dog demon. Hisobosan said the fairytales she used to hear said mononoke had human and animal bodies. Can you change form?'

**...Kind of... But you should know that without having to ask...you're one of them.**

'So you keep saying. So you can't change form then –'

**Don't put words in my mouth! I have other forms, but hanyou is who I normally am.**

This was catching his attention with its elusiveness and a small peek later would help. Not like he had anything better to do anyway. 'So, back to the original question.'

There was a mental sigh. **The ears on my head aren't for show. Neither are my eyes, fangs, or claws. You may be human, but I've always had sharp hearing...even on that one night.**

'So you'll keep an ear out?'

**Two of them, so long as you don't sleep on your side. I know what an out-of-control fire sounds like. I've got it covered.**

He let a few moments of reluctance and doubt pass before allowing himself to be swayed. 'I don't know how to sleep except on my side or stomach.'

**You leave yourself open to attack. Lean against a nearby tree and support your head with your legs.**

Newness grabbed hold and sheer perverse curiosity made him comply. Brown uneasily eyed the fire, still not sure about this.

**Will you stop worrying??**

He scowled, drawing legs to his chest and situating feet to keep his knees together. 'You're not giving me just cause to trust you. I'm still ready to fight if I have to.'

**Keh! I'm ready whenever you are. But there's no point in fighting when you can't, so go to sleep already.**

He snorted and his head plopped down.

_Black hair, dark as pitch. Human ears. Brown eyes._

_Massive shock._

_"What're you staring at, eh?"_

_"The dog ears have disappeared!"_

_"What's going on!? You appear to be almost human..."_

_"Bah! I don't have claws or fangs either."_

_"For half-youkai, there is a short period during which they lose the magical power of the blood flowing in their bodies. Because that is a matter of life and death, they never reveal that period to other people."_

_"What about my case!? If I had known about your body, I wouldn't have suggested coming into this youkai's nest. Couldn't you have trusted me either!?"_

_"I trust nobody! I've been living that way all along. You've no reason to be complaining..."_

_"I'm sorry... However...you could trust me a bit more..."_

-----

_Shallow heartbeat. Racing pain. Cold of the void. Fear of death._

_Stir of intense power._

_The sickening tearing-of-skin and feel of blood oozing over flesh._

_"What's the matter Goshinki...weren't my movements supposed to be as plain as day?"_

_"I don't get it..."_

_"Inuyasha you bastard...why did you transform?"_

_"Bah, how would I know that? Instead of worrying about my body, you should be saying your prayers, Goshinki. I'm sending you safely to hell."_

_"You damn half-youkai!"_

_The youkai blood flowing through my body is in a different class to your crap!! Goshinki, it was fun knowing you..."_

_'My blood is boiling throughout my body... What is this feeling?'_

-----

_"Oohh..."_

_"It's the first time you've seen this, eh Sango? Half-youkai like Inuyasha lose their powers once a month and come to look human, as you can see. If he was attacked by an enemy at this time, his life will be in danger. Therefore, that Inuyasha loses his youkai-powers on the first day of the month is a critical secret..."_

_"So it SEEMS... Isn't the number of people who know this secret gradually increasing?"_

_"It's okay. It means your friends are increasing, doesn't it?"_

_'Nevertheless...when I take on human form, my unease is unbearable. While I have no claws or fangs, I have to wait until morning comes. I might not even be able to protect the life of a single girl.'_

-----

_A fight. Massive body with two heads. The need to fix his sword...to surpass his protector._

_The loss of his sword. The swell of youki. The damage of his blood._

_Chaos within his head._

_"You can tell by looking can't you? That Inuyasha, he's fighting it in youkai form."_

_ "Indeed, if we stay here like this... After Ryuukossei, he may come after and attack us. Inuyasha-sama's judgment is getting worse with each transformation! Kagome, you won't be an exception!"_

_"I understand. Myouga-jicchan, you run away."_

_"Eh!?"_

_"Let me down, I'll stay here."_

_"Kagome, you..."_

_"I understand your reasons. However...running away, leaving Inuyasha while he's fighting...is not something I can do!"_

-----

_"Did that happen to you too, Inuyasha?"_

_"What."_

_"I mean... Were you bullied and stuff?"_

_"Bah, you idiot. If that happened to me, I wouldn't keep quiet about it."_

_"Ah... That's true."_

_"Because I wasn't either..."_

_"Eh?"_

_"I wasn't a youkai. I wasn't human. I couldn't go with either. That's why I thought I could only have a home if I seized it by force... And so I lived like that, and when I realized I was all alone it was the only way that I knew how."_

-----

_"For Inuyasha-sama and other half-youkai, there is a short period during which they lose the magical power of the blood flowing in their bodies. Because that is a matter of life and death, half-youkai never reveal that period to other people. It's surprising that the time for Inuyasha-sama is tonight...while the moon doesn't come out during the first day of the month..."_

-----

_"You really have your hands full. You're turning human, then also turning into a monster, aren't you?"_

_"Don't call me a monster! Even I don't understand why it happens!"_

_"You don't understand, huh. You're an idiot, you know. I heard it from Myouga that when it looks like you'll die, you transform. Well, by nature half of your blood is youkai after all. Here is my own theory though. Transforming into a youkai isn't real strength. Inuyasha, as I said, Tessaiga's weight is because of your fang's weight. Before Tessaiga broke, it was your oyaji-dono's fang. In short, you were relying on your oyaji-dono to protect you. However, this time Tessaiga isn't like that. You're handling your own fang and protecting yourself. When you can freely swing Tessaiga as it is now...it means you'll have truly become strong."_

-----

_Darkness swallowed the scenes. He was unsure how to take everything. Common sense said he never had a twin and this was very likely a reincarnation – some twist of nature and magic._

_Denial was a powerful thing and he forcefully rejected the viewings. Human features were alike on rare occasions – the physical body definitely the same – but personality couldn't be more reverse. Of course he wasn't bloodthirsty, that was just the era, but being so high-and-mighty and cold wasn't._

_'There's no way I can be him! He's my opposite in practically every way! Just because I look like him doesn't mean I AM him!'_

_Two angled mirrors suddenly appeared, hanyou in one and full youkai in the other. The youkai immediately made to attack, but couldn't get past the glass. It scratched and kicked, finally stopping to give him the wary eye._

_He noticed something upon initially trying to move back. He couldn't get far. Hands felt around, feet kicking below. The youkai took this as an attack and tried to get out again._

**_Will you two shut up and calm down??_**

_'What the hell IS this??'_

**_Mirrors._**

_To know the hanyou looked more compose made him locate courage to subside for answers. 'Why are we in here?' A thumb jerked to the struggling youkai. 'Is that normal?'_

_Inuyasha snorted. **Unfortunately, yes. **A glare looked over. **Pipe down will you??**_

_The youkai turned with a growl, teeth and claws bared. It made to swipe at the hanyou, again falling short._

_'Since you seem to have answers, mind telling me what the hell we're trapped here for??'_

_Inuyasha smirked. **Your mind, remember? It's trying to show you the fucking truth, if you'd open your damn eyes. **A thumb jerked to the growling, hostile youkai. **He's part of the blood from oyaji-taiyoukai.** A claw pointed in his direction, almost accusing. **And you're the half from ofukuro. I'm the result of you two.**_

_Hands gripped his head. 'This is too damn confusing!! I can't be you – I don't even LOOK like you! I don't act like you!'_

**_That's because you got everything I didn't! You got the family, the good upbringing, the safety, the friends, and the capability to show emotion! I had nothing but a life of fear and chase until those idiots changed my life! And now you want me to give it up?!_**

-----

_"Musuko...it's time for lunch."_

_"Hai okaasan!" Chubby hands released the toy, letting it flop to the ground as a mini stampede sounded over carpet. A loud inhale sounded...an appreciative hum after. "Ah nikumanjuu!"_

_"Sit musuko and I'll bring your lunch to you."_

_"Hai!" The tiny body plopped down on his zabuton, shifting to get comfortable and antsy to have his mother's fine cooking. She was the best cook he knew, even if he didn't know anyone that cooked outside his family. Still, obaasan didn't beat his mother and he loved his obaasan just as much._

_The eagerness to bite into the gooey covering caused a burnt mouth and hand. It took longer for his fingers to feel the heat, as his tongue was more sensitive. "Atsui yo!"_

_In mere seconds, a cold glass was against his lips, water poured in. "Keep that there for a second musuko and hold it. It'll help your fingers."_

_He nodded in his misery, putting his mouth against the rim and sticking his tongue against it. "Arregaou okaahan..." He mumbled._

_A kiss went to the top of the raven mop. "Don't stumble over your words honey. And next time be more careful okay?"_

_He nodded and leaned in as much as possible with the glass still against his face to accept a kiss on the cheek._

-----

_"So what does this equal to magomusuko?"_

_His face scrunched up, feet barely able to swing under his chair without toes brushing carpet. "Ano...ten?"_

_"Try again magomusuko...you got this last week."_

_He sighed in utter frustration, hands plunging through lengthy bangs as a physical side effect. "Ojiisan this is just too hard! I'll never get this!"_

_A pencil tapped against the desk, aged eyes meeting youthful brown. "Inaki...if you want to do well in further school years and get into a good college, you have to know this stuff. Math isn't something you can run away from – I use it everyday at the store you know. You asked for my help for your test and you need to do better."_

_"Wakarimashita..." His head bowed in chastisement. He knew it was imperative to get this down, but he had a small weakness for numbers. It seemed like they evaded him at times._

_"Right then, let's get back to it. Gonbatte ne magomusuko."_

_He nodded, a smile creeping up._

-----

_"Good night ototo-chan."_

_"Night neechan." He yawned and watched Jayden turn over in her bed. They were finally filling them out and he liked the idea of his feet touching the edge of his futon. It showed he was almost a man in age, if not intellect._

_Brown eyed the open doorway, landing on shadows coming from streetlights from some outside source. He stared transfixed, a few childhood fears peeking through. Hands gripped the covers a little before soft breathing grabbed his attention. He snuck a quick peek at Jayden with her back to everything that could come in and smiled._

_He followed her example, showing he wasn't afraid of his imagination._

-----

_A malicious smile appeared as he headed directly for the cordless phone, taking it into the basement for privacy._

_The four musketeers were needed in a mission of this necessity._

_Though they really had nothing to do with it, Chass, Kelar, and Robert had no qualms when it came to helping him pull pranks at WHOEVER was the target. He was just as bad too._

_It had to be a guy thing..._

_"Hello? Kelar speaking."_

_"Yo buddy, you free right now?"_

_"Not a damn thing going on Inaki. What's up?"_

_"Chichibuyo Matsuri."_

_"English...please?"_

_He snorted. "It's a festival we're kind of celebrating. The neighborhood is over and there's a rather large buffet. Oh and I need you for revenge pranks. Interested?"_

_"Free food and terrorizing the populace? Always...what's up?"_

_He grinned and relayed a few thoughts he had, plus the reasons behind them, getting the second musketeer to join his 'cause'. "Call Rob and tell him to come over. I'll get Chass over here and then we can have some fun."_

_"Can't wait buddy. This is going to be good."_

-----

_It had been one hell of a month, but it sure was memorable. Of course they hadn't had much time to hang out with her being so busy, but it was the weekends when he had any time to break her 'new' personality in._

_He managed to wheedle her to come up with him to his house, mostly because they couldn't really do anything with the staring contests with Sam 'suddenly' popping out of nowhere and making comments about how it was the perfect time for one of them to slip a kiss. The girl was a genius and good sneak, he had to admit, but even with her help and not-so-subtle hints, K was not going to give in like that._

_If there was a way to get her to date him, it wouldn't be easy._

_His emotions hadn't lessened any during his realization and it was hard to keep them in check. At least playful times like these made it easier to flirt and give an excuse that it was a way to get her to loosen a tad and open up._

-----

_'It's not fair to me though! You want me to end my life for your selfish needs!'_

_White shadowed gold, fists clenching and trembling in frustration. **You...are...ME... How many fucking times do I need to say it?! **A hand waved at the youkai who misread their emotions and tried to attack. **He's the poor bastard our mind can't handle. He's the power I always wanted and can't have because the human mind is too weak to fathom a youkai's power! I can't be him and I won't be you, but I need your blood to keep from going mad! You're as much a part of me as he is – why can't you SEE that??**_

_His knees finally gave out and he slumped to the ground. 'But...I have no need to be you... Like you said, I have the better life...I'm as different as you two are.'_

_Inuyasha sighed and plopped to sitting position, hands in his sleeves. **That may be. Somehow Midoriko fucked up my wish.**_

_Brown looked up, brows furrowed. 'Midoriko?'_

-----

_"Have any of you, been inside this cave and seen IT?"_

_"Yeah, those mummified youkai, right?"_

_"Right; and also countless numbers of youkai merged into one and increased their power. Dragons, ground-spiders, oni, and so on. Just to destroy one single human..."_

_"Then...this is a human, as I thought...wearing old armor... An ancient general, huh."_

_"Wrong. That is a woman. Several hundred years ago, she was a miko."_

_"I see. If youkai are your opponents, then a miko is about as strong as a hundred samurai."_

_"It was a time when the nobility were still in control of Japan. There were piles of people who had died in war and hunger. As the corpses and exhausted humans were eaten, in no time, the numbers of youkai increased. All sorts of Buddhist priests and generals exterminate the youkai when it appears, but, above all was the miko called Midoriko who used an attack that drove out youkai's souls and purified them. Midoriko faces a group of large youkai, but masses of energy crackled from the end of her sword and stabbed into the youkai. She had enough spiritual power to destroy ten at once."_

_"Drive out the souls and purify them?"_

_"The miko called Midoriko exorcised shikon and had much experience in using the spell to transform youkai's power to nothing. That's why the youkai were afraid of Midoriko and started trying to take her life. But even if they attacked her suddenly, they were all exorcised."_

_"Did this miko beat the youkai, or did she lose?"_

_"The battle continued to seven days and seven nights. A huge youkai, composed several smaller youkai, had Midoriko in its mouth and one of her arms had been bitten off. Lightning crackled in the background. Finally, Midoriko exhausted her power and her body was eaten. It seems her soul was absorbed. At that moment Midoriko, with the last of her power, seized the youkai's soul and her own was taken in and forced out of her body. There the youkai and Midoriko both died. The cluster of souls remained...that is the Shikon no tama."_

-----

_Hands gripped his head, eyes squeezing shut. 'Shikon no...tama...'_

**_Aa. That jewel was born in your body._**_ Inuyasha smirked. **At least it didn't get ripped from your insides.**_

_'That thing caused some serious talk for YEARS! What the hell was it doing in my lung?!'_

_Gold rolled. **And to think, you got some of her brains this time around... Why the fuck to I always get stuck babysitting everybody?**_

_'Just answer the question!'_

**_I – we – made the wish! Midoriko created it, Kikyou had it last and it appeared in Kagome. She gave it to me to use as I wished before she – _**_White quickly covered gold when the voice cracked. **...So I had it last. Now you were born with it. Does that help clear some shit up? **A scowl appeared with a huff. **Mou...now I'm sorry for ever giving that bitch so much shit.**_

_He grinned at the utter frustration despite the warning look. 'It's still too unreal to believe. I've always lived a mildly boring life. Why did the gods grace me with you NOW?? Why'd you have to wake?'_

**_I merely slept until you broke through...I've always been here whether you realized it or not._**

_'Broke through HOW? Why did I do that was so powerful?'_

-----

_'I'm begging here. If your soul can hear mine, you better listen up! You hear me Kalie?? You're not leaving me! I won't let you. I – I...I love you.'_

-----

_A hand went to his head. 'Something so simple...it can't be enough to wake something from the past!'_

**_You've never been in love before, but you searched for it. I loved Kikyou, but not the way I do Kagome. Where do you think you got the unknown urge from? We love the same bitch, the same way._**

_He dumbly stared. Inuyasha was responsible for all of it. Every break-up that had no real reason. Every unfulfilled relationship. He KNEW some of those girls would've made him happy, but that nagging feeling was always there._

_A cold fury took hold. 'SON OF A **BITCH!**' He lunged, forgetting glass and banged his forehead on the invisible barrier. There was a harsh THUNK before he dropped back and clutched his head. 'If EVER there was a reason to get you out of my head, a decade of that shit is enough!'_

**_Quite whining. You're more like me than our face._**

_'You lie! I'm nothing like you!'_

**_We love the same person._**

_'So??'_

**_You have a preference for the outdoors, you love trees, and a flair for dangerous stunts._**

_He glared. 'Point being?'_

_Gold didn't look amused. **On top of that, you hate tight clothes, religious freaks, being told what to do, you practice fighting – though you don't use it, and like to cause trouble. Is that enough, or do you want me to keep going? I have all day to root through YOUR memories.**_

_He slouched and turned to lean against the barrier. 'So what am I supposed to do?'_

**_Don't make me keep repeating myself._**

_He glared, feeling defeated tears burn. 'I won't give you my life!'_

**_I survived for years without your modern conveniences – I only need Kagome._**

_'How do you know she's like we are anyway?? IF Kalie is who you say she is, it's still Kalie. How do you expect to wake Kagome - do you even care what happens to Kalie?!'_

**_Kagome's there, you just have to know where to look._**

_They were at odds. He wasn't about to give up his first love, but Inuyasha wasn't going away. It was a tug-of-war over so much, two of those topics a pair of lives._

_This was too confusing. There had to be a solution that everybody would be happy with, but Inuyasha wouldn't take that. There was no compromising._

_He was getting really tired of dealing with this..._

_There was nothing but silence while he delved into his thoughts, but Inuyasha's ears twitched. Dull brown spared a glance when the hanyou abruptly stood. 'What are you doing?'_

**_Someone's here. _**_Sniffing rent the air. Gold widened. **It – it's...her! What's she doing here?? Damn it, her footsteps are nearing. Hayaku shite to mezamero!**_

_He looked around. 'I don't hear, smell, or see a thing but you two.'_

**_That's because you're too asleep to notice. You left ME to guard your ass remember? WAKE UP! _**_A claw shot through both mirrors and gripped a shoulder. He yelped and everything turned to black._

She didn't know what to expect. She was off-settled at hearing Inaki couldn't talk. After their confessions and few days apart, she figured he'd jump at the chance. It kind of hurt actually, but she forced herself past it. He gave allowances for her schedule all the time.

The call to her house she mildly expected. It was early – thankfully she was up – and figured maybe he was making up for yesterday.

Quite a shock to find Jayden on the line.

It worried her the second she heard distress combined with asking if Inaki was at her place. Jayden said he was gone all day, didn't say one word to where he went, and no one saw him around the city area. Damned the schedules, she calmed the woman and promised to help search. After all...she was the only one who knew of the place apparently and Inaki mentioned he went there to think. Logic dictated he was there and she felt bad for taking the car, but at least Sam had her bike and they lived close to work.

Now she understood why Inaki said the distance seemed longer when he drove. Together in the car was different...at least they had each other. She was in dire urge to floor it, but a perfect driving record and no real experience kept her from serious trouble.

Her heart pounded through the whole walk. The dim smell of burnt wood gave her hope, but it was too much a coincidence for that one person in the whole city to be Inaki.

She followed her nose, trying to ignore the Inuyasha-like behavior. She was ready to scold, ready to listen, ready to mother, but nothing prepared her for the hunched up ball of red. Her knees gave out and she grasped a tree as support and ended up getting broken skin for the effort. She grimaced and sucked at the wound before gaining the strength to stand.

He looked asleep. She wondered what put him so far into REM that he didn't hear her crunch over leaves. She tried to be quiet, but that was impossible.

She kneeled inches away, hand hovering above shoulder. She wanted answers to so many different questions, wanted to get him home, but had to get her heart to slow first.

If he were in cross-legged position with hands in sleeves she would be at odds with herselves. Right now she was relieved to see a different stance, even if she tried not to freak at the near exact outfit. The magic was gone, and that was another small comfort. She didn't want the other lives blending more than needed.

She sucked up the courage to face him – also bury comparisons and hopeful questions – and touched him. He jerked up with a yelp and she fell with a screech, not expecting such a violent reaction. Incredulous brown met hers before hands covered his face with a moan.

His worst fears got shoved in his face. She had the same wild hair and doe eyes full of emotion, same fallen stance and smell. She was the girl who haunted his dreams – the girl his counterpart wanted. He could tell by the look in those eyes that Kalie was gone. The body language was off, the entire look was off.

'No, no, no...this can't be happening!'

**Get over it...you saw who that was. The bitch is mine.**

Anger hit at satisfaction and glee. He imagined a smile, cruel and boastful. 'Fuck you. AND her! That's not Kalie!'

**No shit. You think that slip of a bitch can hold up to Kagome??**

He shot forward and grasped her by the arms, too frantic to see if he was hurting her. "Tell me who you are! Don't lie to me – tell me your REAL name!"

She blinked, heart fluttering and limbs trembling. No matter how much she wanted to say the truth, he didn't look happy and didn't want to know. "Inaki, it's me. Kalie."

He knew by her tone she was lying and something snapped. The presence rushed forward and fought for control. "Bullshit! Don't lie again bitch! You think I can't smell you? That's the one thing I always knew. I could track you down for miles by your fucking shampoos! You tell this weakling just who you are!"

Tears of emotional overload fell. The band keeping everything back broke and she wrenched from his hold to hug him. "It's you! You're awake! I thought so, but didn't want to say something. Gods...Inuyasha..."

Eyes closed and left him in blackness. His counterpart softly whispered her name – that girl's name – and the betrayal of her melting into his embrace shattered everything. 'IYA!!'

He didn't know how, why, or when, but this was NOT Kalie. The girl he knew was lost from the soul taking her body and changing the appearance.

The sheer pain in his heart shoved so violently it threw the presence into untouchable parts of his mind. Now back, he wasted no time – he redirected weight and all but shoved her to the ground.

"Inuyasha! What are you doing?!"

"K – kisama..." Tears stung his eyes, though he tried to stand tall. Bangs quickly hid them before they were noticed. "How DARE you..."

She scrambled up and reached for him, but he backed away and put distance between them. "I – Inaki! Tanum! Listen to me – please! I have to explain this to you...you don't understand!"

"How long were you planning this?? Making me fall in love with you to get to HIM! I'M NOT HIM!" A sleeve wiped over his face in disgust. "Uso...uso deshita..."

"Damn it let me EXPLAIN!" Hands went to hips. "I haven't been playing you for a fool – I just recently found out myself. I went through some of the same things you know! You think you're the only one who suffered??"

Anger didn't bother him, but the recognition to Kagome hit like a sledgehammer. He backed away a few steps, hand clenching over his heart. "I don't know you... You took Kalie from me and now you want me to give up myself too! Get away from me! I hate you! You lied – it was all a lie!"

She flinched at rage and conviction. Emotional pain flooded her. This was what she debated with and tried to keep from happening. "Inaki –"

"Konaide! Leave me along – he's not keeping my life. I refuse!"

"Inaki! Ah – matte! Tanum!!" She took a few steps to give chase, watching as he tore through foliage. Despair came like a weight and she fell against the leaves. Dead eyes stared at multitudes of colors, vaguely recognizing the same dark yellow that reminded her of a certain hanyou's eyes. Tears stung her eyes as brown stared. She could no longer see him and his exit was very faint.

If she thought her case was bad, his was worse. She knew Inuyasha wouldn't give Inaki any slack, but she only helped betrayal by her slip. Inaki's breakdown was as much her fault as it was Inuyasha's.

She promised the Yamois she'd help, that she would try to locate Inaki and talk to him. "Bright idea Higurashi." She bitterly muttered. "You just screwed everything up!"

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations:**Joudan desu-It's a joke/I'm joking Mononoke-Monster Nikumanjuu-Steamed meat buns Atsui yo-It's hot/That's hot **(yo makes it empathetic)**

Hayaku shite to mezamero!-Hurry up/Be quick and wake (up)! Tanum**-**I beg (of) you Uso...uso deshita-A lie...it was a lie

..... Time for the sixth commentary. Angst overload anyone? ; I warned everyone that IY would be hell when he came around...and the worse is yet to come, though a livable ending for both IY and Inaki is in sight. Don't hate the canon characters TOO much okay? This commentary will deal with some explanations. Not too many though, but I will answer some that were posted.

1-Inaki has the secret of the Shikon, does he even know what it is?

As of right now, Inaki thinks the shikon is some freak accident and with IY's help, will come to realize it holds all the answers he needs to resolve IY in his head (and explain his existence so very far into the future). GETTING Inaki to cooperate and go back to it is the issue, taking orders from IY at this point is the last thing Inaki wishes to do...though he won't have a whole lot of refusing coming up.

2-Does Inaki have a secret of transformation as well?

I'm doing a spin on the whole hanyou/human side of IY. I'm trying to break out of a LOT of stereotypes when doing a reincarnation fic, and Inaki turning into IY's hanyou form is one of them. I'm doing this real life, and you won't see someone with dog ears on his head - at least not labeled a freak and hidden away in some basement for fear of being attacked...sounds a lot like IY's life ne? ; If IY's hanyou form makes an appearance, it's going to be in dream sequences or mirror images as I've been using. Inaki was born human and that's how his blood is, no matter what his soul is like. I have explanations for that when the two talk to Midoriko.

3-Will Inaki take K back to his house to seek out the wisdom of his family?

This chapter explains this question perfectly. There is a lot of chaos going on in Inaki's head and someone mentioned that he's taking this a lot better than Kalie (as far as believing something spiritual and not a mental disorder is going on in his head), but he will be worse off than Kalie in dealing with it, as you have seen and will see. Kalie is a lot more logical than Inaki is. Inaki's religion is Buddhism, which is accepting of spiritual others from deceased...to know one of his ancestors was trying to communicate with him might be a little less freaky. (Course I haven't studied up on Buddhism lately, so I could be off...)

Now for a couple of my own that might help: 4-What's with the use of eye color instead of using the word 'eyes' with the color?

This has come up a LOT in this story so I suppose I'll redo another explanation for the new readers. This is a different technique I started using with this story. I take out a lot of words that I used to use like: personal pronouns-his/her/etc, that, the, has, have, their, etc. I'm trying to make this as real life as possible and take out a lot of extras that make it seem story-like. The use of 'that' and 'has' can sometimes be too distracting. Also, after a person's characteristics are revealed and established in the reader's mind, they know what I'm talking about when I say 'Brown rolled', instead of 'Inaki rolled his eyes'. Sounds less story-teller style and zooms in on the character without being omniscient.

5-Why use both Japanese and English, and why put translations at the bottom?

My use of multi languages is a personal choice. Some chapters require the use of Japanese...like in chapter 17 when I listed all the clothes Inaki put on for the Halloween party. Finding English equivalents won't cut it. Same with food. Family names of the Yamoi are another thing...it helps distinguish who's who without a lot of explanation - provided you know some Japanese. I also use Japanese for a reason that only mildly to well-versed people would understand. There are two basic ways to speak Japanese - colloquial (conversation style) and polite. Colloquial is used between friends or someone younger than you, among others. For those that watch the subbed IY and know IY's speech mannerisms, you got some clues. Inaki speaks polite most the time and IY doesn't - another hint. The final reason I use Japanese is to add to the story. In chapters 33, 34, 36, 54, 56, and future, Japanese is added to help the mood. A few with Kalie present -like 33 and 34- attest to this.

I've gotten requests to put translations at the top of each chapter, but I feel if I do that then everyone will be looking for the words instead of getting drawn into the story. A well-written chapter is hard to find and one that's IC is even harder - I know this as well as all my readers. I know scrolling is annoying, but if you didn't remember all the vocabulary, you might have to scroll anyway...so you lose your place either way.

6-What's with Kalie seeing images from Kagome's life during orgasm in the beginning?

Kind of perverted of me wasn't it? ; lol In doing a lot of thinking on how to work this story, a lot of my theories expanded into the IY anime/manga. I did a lot of thinking about where Kags/IY were at in their relationship and wondered what it would take to break the barrier between Kalie and Kagome's minds. Being as how I killed Kagome before she and IY ever got it on (like they need to do with all that sexual tension lol), that was the bridge which needed to be gapped. But just because I created that bridge doesn't mean that Kalie's mind was strong or adept enough to handle what she was seeing and take it all in. It had to come gradually...and the more Kagome's memories filtered through Kalie's dreams showed Kagome's awakening into the latest century. As far as IY's barrier...that gets explained above.

The next ten chapters are going to be more whacked than you thought possible. The angst, drama, mystery, and information are going to abound here again. (Just when you thought you'd get a fluff break too...) What happened to IY after Kagome's death gets explained and the Inaki/IY situation resolved (as far as I can see). A lot of small explanations get put in here and I'll make sure they're easy enough to see - especially since a few might affect future chapters down the line...and characters.

Next commentary will deal with more explanations. For those who have questions up to chapter 70 and want more detailed answers than ones I've emailed, email me or put them in reviews. I will compile them and put a bunch in the seventh. Six seems to be enough - and it's the Chinese number for good luck! (Bit of useless info for the day...) I know people are madly confused, so this'll help explain some thought processes I have.

Time to hate IY now? .....


	61. Ch 61

Tears kept falling, streaking invisible lines as he ran. He stopped trying to wipe them away when his sleeve came upon an open wound from a tree branch. Salt mixed with cuts and stung, but he welcomed physical pain over emotional. The agony of his heart made him angry, defeated, confused, and curious for answers.

It hurt worse to think that everything was a lie. He saved his heart for the right person and now didn't know if the love was his. If it was just a joke, maybe there never was a Kalie...Kagome just did all this for the right buttons to push.

He never felt more betrayed than now. Embarrassment, shame, unease, anguish, and anger...LOTS of anger. It welled up and burned like an inferno, spreading so fast it was a plague. She was a bitch – an uncouth, sneaky, cunning little vixen that had him more than fooled. He was devoted and would've done anything if she asked.

'Not this. Not now – not EVER.'

He never wanted to see her again. He wasn't about to live in his unconscious, the place the other was, until his body failed...just because she didn't want HIM. He would drive her away and focus on his family, those that loved him for himself.

Except he didn't trust himself around them. He had nowhere to go, but couldn't let them slap him into therapy. That would fix nothing. He wasn't going to live his life in isolation and labeled a fruitcake.

He hated them both and would NEVER forgive them! He would get rid of the specter and be free. Ancient love didn't interest him and any compassion built up from last night evaporated like smoke.

He suddenly exited the forest and found a highway out of the city in front of him. He panted and stared, allowing passing cars to bring his thoughts to logic. A few things came to mind.

He couldn't stay home until this issue was resolved. He had nothing but the clothes on his back. Everyone knew him here.

Though it was HIGHLY risky, he needed to sneak home. It was time to drain his stash. He didn't care who thought what of his attire right now. He needed his skateboard and to get out of the city. He didn't want to be bothered with anyone until everything in his mind was clear. He felt mistrust with everyone and wariness to his family. Staying would only hurt and he wouldn't lash out with false words.

Brown looked back into his trail. He would save time by cutting through, but didn't want to pass Kalie now. As pissed as he was, he might stay and listen. He still loved her. He was disgusted at this and angrier for knowing it was true.

He checked the sun, trying to judge the time. He needed to get past the forest before night, but couldn't let anyone be up at home. He knew the city well – getting lost wasn't that big an issue. He would have to do what was necessary. If he let go of his anger, the only thing giving him strength, he may as well give up.

His head harshly shook. No! He wouldn't think that way. Kalie may've been important, but she wasn't the only thing in his life.

Turning, he headed back, angling enough to steer far away. Stealth wasn't his style, but he felt it creep up – a characteristic of the hanyou – and took hold. He used it with perverse glee, an inane thought that the hanyou would never shy away from the girl like this.

He used it all the way home, mildly paranoid someone from open windows or backyard could see him. It helped waste some time and now was the tail end of sunset. Streetlamps were on and lit his way. He hid against the concrete fence, eyeing the front.

The main thing was to sneak through his bedroom window and exit the same. Nobody could be in the family room or outside. Jayden couldn't be sworn to secrecy. Timing was imperative.

He jogged over, ducked low with eyes on all windows, and hugged the edge of the house under his window. He was relieved this once to have his hair so long and wild, as it covered some of the red. He spared a glance to shoji, adrenaline running. Depending on the time, Jayden could be asleep or puttering around inside. She would know someone was trying to get in – assuming him, he knew – and alert the others...unless she thought he was a burglar and tried to take him down herself.

His heart gave a sudden clench as he moved to enter. He could sneak inside and beg for forgiveness right now. He longed to see his family, to have Jayden yell, and see the worried looks of the women. He could try to explain what was going on and ask if anyone had a solution.

He inched the frame far enough to hoist himself in and nearly fell back out. Facing the wall, covers to neck, was Jayden. He landed on his futon and watched for any indication of being caught. Loneliness and isolation forced him off the bed and inches from Jayden's. He trembled, heart aching and a hand extending.

He missed the home he grew up in and everything residing in these walls. He wanted his life back so badly...

Tears stung his eyes and the hand moved to keep them from falling.

No...he couldn't share this hell with them. He would fix it himself and return to who he was. They didn't need to go through more than yesterday. He couldn't be trusted for what he said and did if the other was in control. If he lost his family's trust, he might as well hand his life over.

He turned and made for the desk, quickly digging and grabbing a box. He took every dollar and stuffed it in his sleeves.

He turned and startled at finding the door open. He listened, seeing total darkness. He needed to leave and grab his board. He could take the car, but who knew how long he'd be gone. Leaving that far wasn't necessary, just enough to where no one knew him.

He tiptoed to the doorway, head peeking out. Wary brown checked the hall and doors. All were dark, whether open or closed. He kept eyes ricocheting to every room as he tiptoed to the stairs, missing all the creaky spots.

He eyed the kitchen and a sudden pulse came. He couldn't identify it, but the feel was extremely familiar. It drew him with a need, a notion to hold and take comfort in its sense of strength. He took a step down, mind no the kitchen instead of leaving, when the tiniest of lights and voices made him jerked back against the wall.

"Please come to bed...it's too cold and late. You can't be out in this weather."

Curiosity peeked and brown inched around the corner. A single, wide candle flickered in the barest of breezes, but valiantly stayed lit. It poorly illuminated the back engawa and other than the voices, the only way he could see anyone was by constantly moving shadows.

"Is that fair of you to say? He's out there somewhere in this same weather. I can't help but worry."

His heart clenched and he fought to remain standing. Guilt came hard and his check constricted. A hand rubbed the area as if to soothe it.

"But staying up this way isn't right. Otousan is driving around with Kristine now. It's a small city – SOMEONE has to notice."

"He's too conflicted right now. You didn't see his eyes earlier. Something is going on in his mind.

Hisobosan always WAS sharp.

"If musuko had problems, he would tell us. He doesn't hold things from us. His speech was off a little, I admit, but he changed a lot in his life."

"Regardless, I will come in soon."

"Please don't. Tanum...come inside where it's warm."

"Himagomusuko is out there in this. I feel close to him out here. Like he's back home."

He blinked back tears, apologies on his tongue. He crept down the stairs and gripped the banister to keep from running to them.

**You fucking asshole!!**

Being so preoccupied, he gasped and jumped up. Broken from the trance and reminded of why he was here, he hopped off the steps in a panic.

'Go away! Go back to where I sent you!'

**I'll fucking make your life hell! How dare you do that to me when I found Kagome! You think I'll stop now that I know she's awake??**

He panted and jerked the closet door open. It was back and he had to hurry. He couldn't stay here now that he would never get a break. His mind would tear even more and pain his family to see.

Voices drifted to his ears, alarmed and getting louder rapidly. A hand grabbed his board and whirled for the door. He fumbled for the locks before throwing the inside against the wall. Without thinking, having done so many times before, he snatched keys off the hook.

"Inaki – wait!!"

"Matte kudasai!"

He couldn't think of the safety they gave, instead the fear of what the other would say to get back at him. He never bothered an answer and nearly broke mosquito netting before vaulting off the porch. Cold concrete met his feet, but he ignored it and headed for an exit out of the city.

Their voices followed him, echoing in his head even as they faded from his ears. The sheer emotion twisted his heart. He felt shame and anger, and directed it inward. 'I'm going to have you dispelled from my body so I don't have to stand you anymore!'

**Just try it! You'll pull yourself with me. We're parts of one whole. The shikon can answer why we split like this. You need to go back for it.**

'No way! Kiss my ass and burn in hell! If you think I'll do as you ask, you're crazy.'

**LISTEN to me! Midoriko didn't get bored and try to fuck with everything for kicks – something about the wish triggered this!**

'YOU made it, not me. I don't give a rat's ass about some wish hundreds of years ago. Figure it out and go back to the darkness.' He ignored the demon's threats and angry ramblings to force it into the unknown of his mind.

The strain of it zapped some energy and his legs felt weak. That and the dash made his knees give out. He cried out as the ground rose to meet him. There was barely enough time to let go of his board before it helped break his arm. Arms quickly shifted over his chest, shoulder stiffening at the change in angle, and rolled with the impact. Teeth grit as he finally stopped, head aching at the uncomfortable position of his hair.

He lay there for a few minutes, trying to get his breath back, when a familiar hum and lights came onto the street. It started his way and he rolled over, ignoring the pain, and grabbed his ride before it was crushed. He dove out of the way mere seconds before the car swept by, rolling again with the board clutched to his chest.

'This is not my fucking night...' Tires squealed a little before a door opened. He didn't have the worry or energy to care who that was. Right now, he needed a hot bath to soak this gone.

"Oh god I didn't see you...INAKI??" Brown snapped open and stared at grass. That voice was damn familiar. He dug around the recesses of his memory, avidly listening to footsteps. "Man, are you hurt? Is anything broken? Your forehead has blood on it – let me take you to the hospital and have them look you over."

NOW he knew who it was. Man, she still rambled a lot too. "It's nothing Carrie." He batted away hands and forced himself to sit up. "I'm not dead."

"Don't joke like that! How can you say that to me?? What about 'gee it's been a while, how are you'??"

He resisted looking annoyed. "Forgive me if I'm not up to conversation."

Hands moved again, feeling for lumps in their insistence. "Gosh this is all my fault! You're right, where is my head? I'm really sorry about this. What's with the get-up?"

He begrudgingly accepted her help to stand. Nostalgia of his past hit and made him feel a little more accepting toward one of his exes. "What? Can't I wear traditional clothes for no reason?"

"No need to get hostile about it. I remember the holiday celebrations we went to together...and I still remember where you live if you want me to take you home."

He jerked from her grasp when they turned to the car. "I don't need a ride, thanks." He moved the board upright and hopped on. He didn't want her involved, and her questions and suggestions were getting annoying. "No hard feelings."

Carrie stood in shock. "Are you kidding?? You're going to leave it like that? I have to do something to make it up to you!"

A hand stuck between them in denial. "Don't worry...consider us even."

"You think... That's not funny!"

He cracked a humorless smile. "Maybe not. But it's a tad odd to see you again. Don't you think?"

Hand rubbed arm in discomfort. "Yea...kinda."

He got off the board and stopped in front, hands lightly resting on tiny shoulders. "Hey now...no hard feelings." He got the girl's attention and a small smile. He leaned forward and gave a brotherly kiss on the forehead. "I hope you've forgiven me for what happened in the past."

Carried leaned forward with a hug and quiet sigh. "I did not long after you broke it off. It IS nice to see you again..."

He allowed her to hold him until whispers of the dreaded conscious started peeking through. He quickly disassociated himself and ran for the board. "I have to go!"

"Inaki??"

"Sorry about this!" He sped off, ignoring her cries. Fear of being called crazy and adrenaline fueled his legs to speed. "I can't be around ANYONE..." He groused, arching to round a corner. He glared at the black, hands clenching.

'You're a bastard! You're out to ruin me!'

**I could say the same for you! I've had enough of you – you're not going to keep me from Kagome!**

'We're already far enough away and I bet by now that onna is back to her own city.' There was a sudden backward jerk of his spine that off-balanced him. He fell with a painful cry and the board shot from his feet, rolling a short ways before hitting the grass of outlining forest.

_Blackness was everywhere and he tensed for a fight. 'I won't let you win!'_

_The hanyou appeared in front, offenses non-existent. A serious, frustrated look pierced him and he couldn't look away. **You're not getting away this time. I've tried to be patient with you and I'm done. You're going to find out exactly what happened...and then you're going back for the tama.**_

_His head shook almost frantically. 'N...NO! No, I won't watch!' He turned to run – as if there was a place to hide - but didn't even get a step. Clawed hands twisted arms behind his back in a painful position._

**_You'll watch...or I'll break your arms. They might not break for real, but you'll feel it later._**_ Inuyasha hissed._

_'N – no, I can't! Don't make me!'_

**_What're YOU so afraid of? They're MY memories._**

_He knew the truth would be shown and he wanted to remain ignorant. He didn't want to be part of this...THING. His life was too precious and he didn't want to give it up._

_Despite closing his eyes to hide from it, this was mind not body. A flash of light came and blinded him._

__

_The second her lips slackened and fell away the barest of degrees, he knew she was gone. Every part of his heart didn't want to believe it and he pressed harder, even as her heart stopped in his ears and her breath failed to touch his skin._

_Panic appeared in leaps and his heart sped up. Gold widened as he stared at dull brown from barely open eyes._

_He always thought her eyes were the best part, as they showed so much. Not even getting so many peeks at her body could match the intensity and depth conveyed in those pools. Now they were forever closed to him, hidden behind a canopy he could never pass._

_Realization hit, even as his grip tightened. "K...Kagome..." He whispered, eyes bearing most of his agony. He shook her slightly when she remained unresponsive, weight slack. The mass he carried without problem, feeling as if she were a mere stick he could haul around. He carried a hundred times her size and still didn't strain himself that much. What he wouldn't give to carry her on his back again...if only those innocent eyes would open and she would smile at him... He would give his ears to have her look at him now... "Kagome...onegai..."_

_"Inuyasha..."_

_A hand reached into his sight and he clutched the body to him fiercely, enveloping her form in his sleeves and growling. Fangs glinted off sunlight, though these were his friends and he normally trusted them with his life._

_"We won't do anything to Kagome-sama, Inuyasha. I was just going to close her eyes for her."_

_"Touch her and I remove the offending hand!"_

_"Then, please do so for Kagome-chan Inuyasha, if you won't let any of us near her."_

_He looked at both, seeing grief and suffering littered over their faces and looked back to the peaceful face resting over the crook of his arm. He wanted to shake her and tell her to stop worrying him, but would be fruitless to do so._

_Tears suddenly stung his eyes and he blinked, partially shocked. He couldn't show pain to the others, even if they probably saw it when he looked up. They were always so adept at reading him when it came to Kagome._

_Teeth clenched as he tried to breathe, finding it extremely shaky. He needed air, having held his breath since she asked for that kiss, but couldn't risk them hearing. He didn't want to be weak in front of his comrades, but common sense said to hell with that. Kagome taught him it was okay in times of sadness...now she was teaching him in a whole new way._

_His eyes squeezed shut as tears gathered on his lashes. Arms shook the barest of degrees, head dipping into her neck to futilely hide his agony. He never showed such pain to anyone before and it was strange to do so, even if the love of his life was taken from him._

_A pain fiercer than any time he was badly hurt pierced his chest, worse than when Sesshoumaru had._

_Close her eyes...he should – it was only respectful. Kagome earned more than his respect and he was obliged to. But to do so was a slap in the face. To close the eyes of a dead person to keep them from viewing a world they no longer lived in... He couldn't do it. He didn't want to show himself she was gone. He wanted this to be some sick dream of Naraku's._

_He'd take mind games over the stark truth right now._

_The breath left his chest in a rush as if he were kicked in the gut. Stark truth came when he noticed staleness of her scent, as if it died with her life force unable to sustain it._

_The proof she really WAS gone..._

_Hands clutched at her, holding so tightly to his chest, he feared to break her bones and end up hurting her somewhere past death. But he couldn't hurt her anymore and that brought another stab of anguish._

_"K - Kagome...please...don't do this to me. Open your eyes...stop toying with me. You said...you would be with me, didn't you?"_

_-----_

_"May I be with you?"_

_"You'll...be here for me?"_

_"Yes..."_

_-----_

_Her words rang in his ears, soft and timid, but so bold in her request. Kagome knew what she was risking by asking that, but she did it anyway. He knew what he was risking by accepting...and now was paying the price of a possible consequence that turned out to be true._

_Ever so slowly, he pulled away and rested her on the ground, as if an infant. He stared at the lack of expression, the paleness of her face that reminded him of Kikyou...yet she looked even more beautiful than Kikyou would ever be._

_A shaking hand inched out and hovered over her eyes. Every part was screaming not to do this, but the fact that he didn't feel breath against his palm was a painful reminder of purposeful ignorance._

_As much as he wanted to overlook this, he couldn't._

_Her skin was so smooth and the few times he managed to touch her, he felt wrong. His hands were too calloused from holding his sword, from many years of wear. The few times he saw her naked made him wonder if she was as soft as she looked._

_He felt unworthy to be assigned the privilege of her love, and did everything in his power to try and be so. He always fell short in his mind, even if she never showed indication he was below her._

_Lashes barely tickled his skin as he finished the job. He pulled away and stared at his hand, wondering if he should claw it for such offense. His heart was angry, irritated that he allowed himself to do such a thing. It was only right he be the one to close Kagome's eyes, but it was the hardest thing he had to do._

_Even harder than losing Kikyou today._

_Losing Kagome like this, to pain and sorrow, was harder than anything he went through with Kikyou. He never felt this way toward any human, not even the emotion with Kikyou was this deep. He didn't even love ofukuro this much!_

_"Inuyasha...we should bring Kagome-sama back to the village and get her...cleaned up for burial. I only speculate, but her family will want her body returned to them."_

_To wrap this girl in an all white kimono and place her in the ground, a granite marker the only thing showing she was there, disgusted him. Such a vibrant person to be forced inside such plain clothing and under dirt made him angry. She was too alive to be put under the ground for all eternity! Kagome outshone them all, and now she burnt out too soon._

_Rage came to him, fury at no fixated topic. He hurt, he was bleeding internally, and the only person who could fix this couldn't._

_A fierce snarl left his lips, making everyone jump and eye him as a hand came out and Sankon Tetsusou tore furrows out of the battlefield. He jumped up, head throwing back in an animalistic cry that echoed in the air and hurt his ears._

_He cried until there was no air to do so and his lungs hurt. The will and strength to stand left and he slumped to the ground near her body, eyes absently staring at empty hands in his lap._

_Useless...he couldn't even protect the ones he loved. They all died on him...even the reincarnations..._

_Nails broke skin when fists clenched. He morbidly watched blood trickle out from palms, knowing they'd heal soon. They always did. "Kagome..."_

_"Inuyasha...we should be getting back."_

_An ear twitched to them, even if he wasn't really listening. As if in slow motion, Miroku and Sango stood and adjusted their clothing, awkwardness at what to do milling around them. He watched from the corner of an eye, idly taking in the frayed edges of Miroku's robes._

_"Inuyasha...we need to take Kagome-sama with us." A hand dared touch his shoulder, lightly resting and giving a small measure of comfort with the tiny squeeze accompanying it._

_That did it._

_He jumped up and flung an arm out to dislodge Miroku's hand. He glared at his friends, though they weren't at fault in any way, and pointed a finger at them. "You'll just throw her in the ground that easily, huh?! Fuck you two!!"_

_Miroku stared for a second, dark eyes turning serious and borderlining wrath. "I can understand your pain and anger Inuyasha, but you have no need to take it out on us. We all hurt over Kagome-sama's death, but we should give her the proper burial she deserves."_

_"DESERVES?! Kagome doesn't deserve this!"_

_"Don't you think we know that?!" Sango cried out. Her admission caused tears to trail the old paths made from Kohaku's demise. "Kagome-chan was – IS – my best friend and I've never felt such pain, even over Kohaku! I lost my ototo and only friend today. You think I want to see her go like this any more than you do??"_

_A hand went over armored shoulder pad, gaining the remaining taiji-ya's attention. "Sango, you shouldn't take your anger out on Inuyasha either. We should do what needs to be done right now and deal with this later."_

_"Stop playing monk you fucking lech!"_

_Dark eyes snapped an intense glare to gold, forgetting his own advice. "Someone has to have the cool head here you baka! You think because my face hides my emotions I don't feel?! I looked up to Kagome-sama and saw her as a little sister – part of the family I never got to have! I'm not as happy about this turn of events as any of you are, but we would be highly disrespectful to stand here arguing over her body like children! Do you want to be so shameful to her like that?? Do you want to leave Kagome-sama like this and let her look like the slain samurai who get left to rot on the battlefield?!"_

_He growled, claws digging in tighter. The mere thought of Kagome's body decaying in small pieces, the crows going for her eyes and tongue, made him want to retch._

_He was helpless on what to do. Every part of him was screaming this was wrong, but no way did he want to see Kagome's body turn out like that. Such a perfect creation of curves and shape given the same fate as any ronin samurai...he wanted to hurt Miroku for suggesting it._

_At length, he looked down and harshly swallowed as he took in her face again. "Her family will – will want –"_

_He couldn't even say it._

_"The least we can do for Kagome-chan's family is make her look presentable. You'll have to bring her back though. Can you do that?"_

_"Keh! Don't think I'll let Kagome remain back here where she could get dug up like Kikyou did!"_

_'Or worshipped. Kagome didn't like being put on the level the villagers put Kikyou on.'_

_He didn't want the others to carry her, an inane thought that Miroku might cop a feel, but he couldn't bring himself to touch her. Even in death she was beautiful and he couldn't stop looking at her. It was a need he had, yet pushed awareness onto him. He could no longer ignore this, no matter how much he wanted to._

_Before he could think, legs sprang to action, vaulting him in the air and away from the scene, away from his friends' surprised cries. He ignored their insistence that he come back and ran full speed, pouring out everything to exhaust himself._

_He didn't want to feel this! Just when the barest traces of happiness crept back, they were cruelly snatched away by fate. He didn't want to accept it, and so ran to hide from it all._

_-----_

_Trees proved a useful source of an outlet for his grief. His claws made short work of one after another, chopping off limbs wider than his body. He relished in the sound his claws made as they splintered wood and the crashing each broken chunk created on its way to the ground._

_He glared at the channel of his emotions, as if these poor things were the cause. Everything he felt went into each strike, trying to tire himself into a place of unconscious where he didn't have to deal with this._

_Night came by the time he was too useless to slash and he slumped over a branch, not caring if he fell. Breath heaved in his lungs and he felt shamed at being able to take in air when Kagome couldn't._

_Night bugs crept to his ears after breathing smoothed out. He turned and pounded a fist into bark, barely wincing when his hand sliced open up a little._

_It should've been him...he had nothing to live for anyway besides her. She had so much...so much..._

_The barest of sobs left as his forehead pressed against bark, bangs barely sheltering his skin. She used to brush them away a few times, doing so as comfort and to see his eyes..._

_Tears wet his lashes again, but he felt less inclined to hold it now that he was alone. He couldn't smell the others, but knew they wouldn't leave without him, and no youkai were around. If they tried for Kagome's body, they would be swiftly and severely dealt with._

_He didn't remember the last time he actually cried. He almost did when he thought everyone died from the Shichinin-tai's poisoning. More precisely, when he thought KAGOME almost died._

_The sound of a drop splashing against surface caught sensitive hearing, and the smell of salt reached his nose. He crumbled into a little ball, barely able to do so, and clutched his head. Pricks to the back intensified as he gripped harder._

_He never wanted to be defenseless by crying, never allowing all the bad in his life to let him. It built up over so many long years and crashed down at once._

_Kagome was his last chance of happiness. He didn't care for the courts that scorned him, didn't want to be part of the youkai that hated him, didn't want to be alone anymore than he was in the past, and wanted friends who would treat him more than a mere dog. He found all this in Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Kirara, and Shippou – even Shippou. It wasn't the same now...it would never be the same._

_Kagome was the only one who brought him to life, literally and figuratively. He didn't care about the others, only her. Each of them had their own reasons and agendas for grouping together and he knew they would part when Naraku was killed. Whether Sango and Miroku got together in the end was unknown, but he would've liked to make that true with him and Kagome._

_He wanted to hate Sango and Miroku for being so close and still alive. He would never get the chance they had now and he had no desire to hand his heart over a third time. He never intended a second, but Kagome had that affect on people._

_It took a long time for the tears to stop. He cried for Kagome most of all, and the unfairness of his life...he cried for the circumstances surrounding his friends, the unfairness of those who treated his mother, his mother's death, the fact he never knew his father, the fate of his blood, and the isolation he always felt._

_He lived so much in such a short amount of time; the intensity dwarfed his entire life and that with Kikyou. He thought he never had to be alone again, never forced to feel like his life had no meaning, and every battle might as well be his last._

_He wanted to live for Kagome and would do anything she wanted. He would've followed her to her time and made the wish to be human, so he could live in her world without a cap over his ears. He would've done his best to learn her world and survive in it. Most of all, he would live her lifespan so he didn't have be left behind when she passed to heaven. He would go to hell to pay for his crimes, but at least he wouldn't have to deal with today._

_If she decided to forsake her world for his, he was okay with that too. He could remain a hanyou and use his strength to protect her. He thought he would've been a good mate, able to provide easily once they were settled. Those thoughts weren't that far from his mind with the issue of a final battle nearing._

_Now he could do none of those. The daydreams he fancied every so often, mostly during tender moments they shared, were now to remain daydreams. He was foolish to ever think he had a chance at any kind of normal life!_

_Fists landed on bark again, meek in his fatigue._

_All he had now were the memories. It's all he ever had in the end and he was tired of the one being left behind. Ofukuro, oyaji, Kikyou, Kagome...they all left him alone._

_Only after composing himself did he bother to move and venture back. It was a slow, almost laborious task, as if going to court his own doom._

_Before they saw him, he spotted the group around a campfire. He could hear Shippou's sobbing muffled by Miroku's robes. He could smell tears from Shippou and Sango. He eyed the taiji-ya as she sat in front of Kagome, hands holding a lifeless one, openly staring at the peaceful face as if unable to comprehend. Miroku held Shippou with one arm, his left hand rubbing the child's hair...looking to his unclothed right._

_He stopped and took in that sight. Normally the Kazaana would've opened up long ago, especially since he didn't see prayer beads surrounding purple. He forgot when Naraku was dead, Miroku would be free to live his life without consequence of it getting swallowed up into a void...much like the one Kagome was now in._

_He looked to the ground and continued. The comparisons weren't going to cease and he was definitely going to drive himself mad with them. It was worse than turning youkai without Tessaiga, and just as horrible to bear._

_"Inuyasha...come sit down."_

_He startled, forgetting they could all sense each other, but complied. He wasn't in the mood for arguing or resisting right now. The firelight hurt his eyes at the sudden shift, but he ignored it and plopped down on the other side of Kagome's body, hands going in sleeves. He stared at them to keep eyes off of Kagome and Sango. If he let the others' grief get to him, he might break down again._

_"Inuyasha...we really should head back. Even though it's night, we're losing time."_

_His head idly bobbed a degree, though he barely listened. He finally looked up and stared at Miroku's hand. It had the attention of both, hovering in the air with fingers splayed for easy inspection. "No more Kazaana ne?"_

_"Aa. After so long...it's strange. I feel ashamed somehow."_

_A brow ticked. "For what??"_

_The hand dropped and slowly wrapped around Shippou. Solemn eyes stared at the fire. "Because my life isn't as precious and I had nothing real to live for before."_

_He looked away, again keeping eyes off Kagome's body, knowing Miroku was talking about her. The monk's words made sense however, and he had to realize he felt the same way about his own life._

_-----_

_They made it back by dawn, having put the fire out and traveling in darkness. He cradled Kagome to his body, feeling selfish for wanting to hold her like this and never put her down, but was forced to let go when they entered the village and Kaede saw her._

_The old woman didn't say anything, but all emotion was clearly written on her wrinkled face. Miroku was left to explain the gist of what happened and that Kaede needed to fix the wounds on the body before he brought it back._

_He wouldn't let anyone inside, not even Sango or Shippou. Kagome hated it when he peeked, and none of the others deserved the right, even when she couldn't do anything about it._

_He perched on top of the hut, cradling Tessaiga and avidly listening. He growled at anyone who ventured near the hut for any reason, even his friends. They look mildly annoyed after a while, but didn't comment, even if he could tell they thought he was going a bit overboard._

_He didn't care – Kagome was to be treated the way he thought she should be and he wasn't going to take any shit from anyone who thought otherwise!_

_Most of the afternoon passed before he heard Kaede sigh and mumble a few prayers before standing. He shot to his feet and jumped down, watching as she pushed the bamboo curtain aside. "She's ready to be dressed." The aged, beady eye met his for a moment before Kaede looked behind him. "Sango, you were her friend. Though Inuyasha won't let you near, you're the only other one to help me. She would've wanted you to."_

_He growled, unable to explain his emotions at having anyone but him touch Kagome. But he couldn't bring himself to do so anymore...to even hold her made him feel filthy and low._

_Sango almost shoved him to the ground as she brushed past, eyes shimmering, face set. "I would be honored to do so for Kagome-chan."_

_They entered the hut again and he felt powerless to stop them, to stop this from happening. His head bowed, fists and teeth clenching._

_A hand rested on his shoulder again. "They won't do anything horrible to Kagome-sama Inuyasha."_

_"That's not the fucking POINT!" He grit out._

_Miroku came into view and gave a light bop to his ears with the gold end of his staff. "Baka...I know how you feel. You think you can hide everything from us, but your emotions reside on your face. I'll never love Kagome-sama the way you do – I have no right – but don't push us away when we only want to help."_

_He batted the staff away, wanting to hurt the man in front of him. "What the fuck do you know?! You know NOTHING about me!"_

_Dark eyes spared a brief glance to the bamboo screen before starting away from it and he followed. "I admit I know nothing of who you were before we crossed paths, or what you were like as a child. But I have a general idea of things you like, things you don't like, what makes you tick, your fighting abilities, some of your emotions toward certain people, and some of your nature as an inu hanyou." Miroku stopped and cast him a sideways glance. "I've never bothered to pry, as it's presumptuous of me to do so, and you're not the type to gush about his past. We've all done horrible, unspeakable things that we shouldn't have Inuyasha, but being around you tells us who you are and that's all we need to know."_

_He swallowed, moved and understood a little more why he considered these people his friends. They continued walking to the top hill of the village in silence and he stopped when Miroku turned to look down._

_"If there was a way Buddha would grant my wishes and take my life in exchange for Kagome-sama's, I would. We would all give our lives to have her with us again, but fate and death are not ones to bargain with. All we have are the memories she graced us with, the fire that burned so brightly inside her. We will be okay if we can remember everything about Kagome-sama and let her spirit live on in us."_

_"That's not good enough! Kagome's dead, what the fuck good are memories if there's an end to them??"_

_Miroku cast a quick glance out of the corner of his eye. "That's all we can do." He murmured, giving a quiet sigh._

_-----_

_He waited until morning to head to the well. It was the longest he could procrastinate until those he knew started telling him the longer he waited, the harder it would be. And the less time Kagome's body had._

_They stuffed the wound with herbs and stitched it with cloth. Kaede and Sango cleaned all the blood off and washed her hair. Her body was outfitted with a pure white kimono, one that suited her – oddly enough. It should've been white for a bride...instead was white for the dead._

_He picked her up as if she would break and allowed Sango to situate arms in her lap. He left with a heavy heart, Miroku holding the screen open for him, and stared at the walk up. He blinked at the sight greeting him._

_Almost everyone in the village was lined along the edges, women weeping and comforted by the men. Children hid in their mothers' skirts, bawling as bad as Shippou, if not worse. They hurt his ears and he wanted to be annoyed, but was not in the mood to snap._

_Many of the people adopted praying stances with hands clasped and bowed heads, when he started through. They were silent, many still crying. His teeth clenched against it and he bit his tongue to keep from retorting at the verbal prayers and wishes of going to heaven._

_He stopped at the top of the hill, everyone facing him. He looked to Kaede's hut and found the old woman holding Shippou much the same Kagome did when comforting against the terrors of the world. Miroku stood close, Sango in his arms. The faint sounds of her sobbing reached his ears and they flicked back in mild agitation. He met Miroku's eyes, getting a nod and looked to Kagome. He stared at her face for what seemed forever, eyes mournful and soft, before getting the courage and strength to turn around and keep going._

_The day was beautiful. He looked around and glowered at the birds chirping and sun shining through the canopy. It wasn't supposed to be like this – it had to be horrible! Why were the skies clear when they should be weeping for the loss of such a person??_

_He stopped at the clearing to the well, eyeing it. This would be the last trip to Kagome's time. He would have no need to go over anymore, once he brought her back. This was the last he would ever see her home and the thought pained him. They were apart by hundreds of years, and now separated by death as well._

_He blinked back tears, angry at himself for being weak at a time like now. He couldn't break down in front of her family; they needed him to be strong. He also needed the strength to brush off their hatred whenever it came. He would feel better knowing they hated him, much as he hated himself._

_He gently hopped to the lip and looked into darkness. Hands clutched her tightly to him to survive the trip looking exactly like she was. He wanted nothing more than to sit against the edge like he used to and hold her, deceased or not. He would never get to hold her after he crossed time._

_White swished. No! He was just torturing himself – he needed to get on with it before Kagome's skin went. He didn't think he could see that and stay sane._

_He jumped in and was soon assaulted with smells and sounds of a more populated land. He vaulted to the top and peeked out through holes in wood shoji, finding no one around._

_Good._

_He edged the door open with a foot, creeping out and warily looking around. He got halfway past the shrine before his feet slowed to a stop and he stared again._

_He didn't want to give her up like this! It was too much. What was he supposed to do when he crossed back again? The well might not even work for all he knew! This was the end and he didn't want to know that. The finality of this wasn't as bad as when Kagome caught him promising to protect Kikyou. At least then, she was alive and well..._

_His knees gave out and he slumped to concrete. He didn't care who saw them right now and situated knees so she would fit better against him. A finger came up and gently stroked a cheek, marveling at how soft she was after a day._

_He was used to ignoring a lot of the noises when here. There were too many and if he didn't, they would overwhelm. But a sudden, familiar gasp, and clack of stick made his ears twitch to it and he chanced a look up._

_Frozen in place, a hand covering her mouth, eyes frightfully wide, was Kagome's mother. He stared with dead eyes, unable to find words._

_In mere seconds, the woman rushed over and fell to her knees in front of him, eyes on her only daughter. He felt shame and guilt creep up when the woman tried to shake Kagome, trying to talk to her. He couldn't bring himself to say he already tried both and it wouldn't do any good. He quickly let go when the woman pulled the body into her arms and wept quietly._

_They sat there like that for timeless moments until the old man appeared. He rushed over with a cry and repeated the mother's actions, touching Kagome's face and openly sobbing. He wanted to move out of the way, but felt rooted in place, forced to watch their agony._

_He deserved this, he figured. He caused Kagome's death by being unable to protect her and should pay his penance by seeing the affects._

_The two composed themselves after a second, finally giving him their attention. The mother looked more forgiving than the old man, but he was ready for their words. Whatever they had to say couldn't be as bad as the self-berating he was going through._

_A hand stroked Kagome's cheek as the woman managed a small smile and bow of her head. "Th – thank you...for bringing her back..."_

_He blinked, not ready for that. He nodded at her sincerity._

_"What happened?! Why did this have to happen?! Kagome...you didn't deserve this..."_

_He looked to the ground, feeling another twinge of guilt. The same words followed him through time. He would forever wonder this himself._

_"Papa...please... Let's get her out from people's eyes."_

_He wanted to offer to carry Kagome inside, wondering if such frail people could handle her, but the words were heavy on his tongue. He couldn't be so audacious as to offer to do that. He didn't mind carrying her, but why should he get the privilege now?_

_The grandfather somehow managed to get Kagome the way he held her and he dumbly followed, unable to do anything else. He stopped at the front door, looking at the genkan solemnly. By all rights, he shouldn't be allowed inside...he was amazed they didn't order him off the property already._

_Footsteps met his vision and he looked up. Kagome's mother offered a small smile and an inviting hand extended to him. "You're welcome to come in. Kagome's...this – this doesn't affect anything."_

_His jaw clenched, but he finally nodded and took a few steps in. He followed the mother to the living room where Kagome was and kneeled next to the doorway. He watched the old man pray over her much the same as Kaede did and listened. He wondered if Kagome could hear their prayers wherever she was._

_Gold shot up at a soft hand on his arm, meeting wise brown. Kagome's mother offered another smile and he wondered how she could do so at a time like this. "When papa is done...will you bring her up to her room for us? I don't think papa can manage the stairs, and I don't want Souta to see her until we can tell him."_

_He blinked, the boy's absence coming to him. He must be at that school place Kagome used to go to... He nodded; finally glad to be of some help, no matter how minute it was._

_He sat for a while, cradling Tessaiga and watching. The prayers were hokier than the ones Miroku offered to the deceased, and they trailed on. He was eventually relieved when the old man's voice cracked and he stood to leave the room. He didn't know if that was a finishing sign or not, but he took it as one and made his way over. He stuffed Tessaiga into hakama ties and picked her up as gently as every other time. He tried to get her arms in place and tucked her head under his chin, smelling shampoos used on her hair._

_Entering her room was nostalgic and another slap to the face. He almost couldn't enter, but her mother asked and he would. He set Kagome on her bed and suddenly thought back to every time he was here. It wasn't that much, but her time held a lot of fond memories for him. Even fighting the youkai in this future wasn't as bad. The magic that surrounded Kagome swirled in her life as well and made her even more interesting and mysterious._

_He kneeled and leaned on elbows, staring at her face again. It was his curse, but he felt time was almost up and then he would never get the chance to. It was like rapidly dissolving water - he needed enough to get him through._

_It was a long time before he heard movement downstairs. Dull voices and footsteps came, but he ignored them. After a while, a faint scent came and he was a little panicked._

_Souta!_

_Teeth bit his lip. He could handle adults, but children were innocent, and Souta didn't get more than that. He didn't want to see the boy crumble; hear his cries anymore than he did the rest of the family. He stood and looked down, torn as to stay or go. If he stayed, he could remain by her side a little longer...but if he went, they would perform funeral rights. He couldn't stay here for that. This was killing him enough already inside._

_Rapid steps and panting reached his ears. An urgent, youthful voice burst in from the front door and he backed away, eyes on pale skin._

_"I never wanted this to happen...you have to believe me. I was hoping we could work something out after Naraku was killed. I wouldn't willingly put your family through this. I just hope you can forgive me for not being able to protect you and let you down."_

_As the mother tried to explain why Souta had been called out of school, he quickly opened the window and jumped to the ledge. As running up the steps sounded, he jumped out...unable to contain his shame and blame any longer._


	62. Ch 62

_He tried to go down the well, honestly he tried. He high-tailed it for the ledge as if Souta and Kagome's mother were after him for retribution...which he wondered why they hadn't dished out yet. He gave a half-hearted look over his shoulder to the grounds through the doorway before jumping in. Before the magic could swallow him up, a claw suddenly shot out and pierced wood, getting massive splinters, but keeping him in the future._

_He was suddenly so panicked at the thought of going back... He vaulted off the side and ran to Goshinboku and sat on a high branch. There was nothing he could do but watch and listen over the shrine, but he felt compelled to stay. Inu nature perhaps? He was definitely loyal to Kagome, and the thought of leaving her like this he didn't like._

_It was so stupid – Kagome was dead. He was slowly coming to grips with himself, but it was hard. A lot still denied it, one of the many reasons he couldn't make himself leave. He remained in the same spot, the same position...listening to her family's grief until after the sun went down and they slept._

_He watched the moon with dull, sad eyes, following its trail over muted lights from light poles. He was getting tired from this piling on him, hungry from not eating in a few days, and thirsty. But it was a small thing to overlook given the ultimate reason._

_It was almost dawn by the time he bothered a thought of leaving his spot and venturing another glance. If it was anyone else, he would've berated them on not being able to let go, but he had so little time left. He never kept up with Buddhist traditions, didn't even know if Kagome was, but humans never left the dead untended to for long._

_He hopped down and made for the window, feeling bad for going inside the house when not invited. Sure he did without many times to Kagome's room, but he always knew she never minded. Even when they were fighting...he could sense a small spark of happiness at him being near..._

_The smell of death rushed out as the window inched a crack and a sleeve went to his nose. The herbs stuffed in her wound smelled too, but covered little of it. It was a punch in the gut to stare at her and associate that kind of stench._

_He stood over her, seeing she hadn't been moved since he put her here yesterday. He took Tessaiga out and angled it against her nightstand, slowly kneeling and taking a hand. It was heavy and hard to intertwine in his fingers and his jaw clenched._

_"I hate to see you this way. Even when Kikyou took your soul for that brief bit of time you were never this bad." His head bowed near her, moving hand to rest of over his head. "This one time...if you open your eyes...I'll let you pet my ears. Just this once mind you, don't think you can get away with doing it as much as you used to. Just...open your eyes for me...tanum..."_

_Her silence and stillness ate at nativity without mercy. His denial crumbled and with it came defeated tears._

_He gave a meek cry, face pressing into her mattress to keep quiet. "Why...why you?? I would've given any part of my body and lived with that handicap if it kept you alive. Why wasn't I faster?? What did you do to deserve this?! The gods should've taken me! Kikyou already cursed me once...I would've gladly taken eternal sleep than being here without you..."_

_His shoulders shook a few times before a quiet squeaking came to his ears. He shot up with a gasp, berating himself for being so preoccupied, and dumbly stared at Kagome's mother in the doorway. A hand covered her mouth, tears streaking her face._

_"Yahari..." She whispered, taking a few steps inside. "I didn't know what to think...when I saw you two. But I know now you wouldn't have let it happen if you could've stopped it."_

_He looked to Kagome, forgetting his tears, figuring the woman couldn't see them in the darkness. "I wouldn't let anything happen to Kagome. I never wanted any of THIS to happen."_

_He solemnly looked up when the mother stood above him. He gave her a glance before she kneeled and a hand extended. He was too curious at what she'd do to move and was mildly taken aback when soft skin touched cheek. He blinked in shock, heart aching at the motherly comfort she provided by that simple caress. The woman wiped away his tears on both sides and he let her, too preoccupied in wondering why she was being so nice._

_Lips tilted as she stared. "I know you would've protected her." Hands went to his and cupped one, looking to it. He wanted to flinch back, feeling like a monster he was. He was shocked again when the back of his hand was rubbed against cheek. "You're very strong, but gentle with her. I knew the second I saw you in our kitchen so long ago...and the way you held her when you came. I harbor no ill will toward you for this." Aged brown glittered. "Kagome was a strong person. She was very smart and knew the right decisions to make. I am proud of her for everything she's done in her life. If you must dwell on something, dwell on those things. Think of all the brave things she's done while with you."_

_His jaw clenched and he quickly looked to Kagome to keep his tears hidden. He wanted to say something, but couldn't get words past. He wasn't good with words as he was his sword._

_An ear twitched when movement outside the room came. He looked over in time to find youthful brown staring. "Inu-niichan..."_

_All he could manage was a small nod in acknowledgement. Gold followed the boy as he slowly plodded in a step._

_"Ah, Souta...you need to be in bed. You need your sleep."_

_"Okaasan...may I talk with Inu-niichan for a second?"_

_He was curious as to what Souta had to say and stood. "It's okay...I'll make sure he doesn't stay up long." He met brown and got a nod before the mother left the room, quietly clicking the door shut behind her._

_Souta stopped next to him in front of the bed and looked down. He eyed the boy in silence, casting a few looks to Kagome. Finally, Souta's head bowed, eyes closing. "Neesan was...brave, ne?"_

_He nodded. "Aa. The bravest ningen I ever saw." Of course he wasn't counting Miroku or Sango, but Souta didn't need to know about that._

_"Yokatta... Ano ne, Inu-niichan...what happened?"_

_Gold met serious brown. He considered divulging scraps of battle, knowing Souta wanted to know how Kagome died, but Souta was still a boy. He cast a small look to Kagome. "That's not something you should be asking. You're too young for –"_

_A tiny hand gripped his sleeve. "Onegai...I'm only a child, but Kagome was my neesan. Can't you say a few things?"_

_He didn't want to give in, but figured it might help. Gold looked to pale skin and ebony. "She was injured during our final battle with Naraku...the main enemy to the shikon. She fought the best I've ever seen. You should be proud of her."_

_"I am. I was always proud of neesan...being able to juggle two lives. I'll never be able to measure up, but I can try."_

_It was a sudden decision, but it felt right. He went with his gut and grabbed Tessaiga. He stared at the frayed edges of the hilt, the dull, black casing he always treated roughly. Such a magnificent he really do this??_

_With a small shake, he faced the boy and extended his hand. "This is Tessaiga...I give it to you to protect from now on. You'll never be able to live the way Kagome did, she was special. But you can never let any living hanyou or youkai try to possess this sword. This is important; I'm counting on you to keep it safe. If I live through the ages, I'll come back for it."_

_Souta's face lit up as the sword was exchanged. "Hai! Yakusoku - I'll keep it well hidden and guard it with my life!"_

_A clawed hand plopped on shaggy brown in an affectionate gesture. "I know you will. Be sure you keep that kind of strength with you through your life." He managed a small grin before giving Kagome his attention._

_It was time to go...his heart was saying he had no place here with Kagome's family anymore. He never belonged with them and was overstaying his welcome by their grace. He turned toward the window and hopped to the sill._

_"Ah! Inu-niichan -"_

_He turned and looked back. "Oboeteite." Without giving Souta a chance to answer, he jumped away and made for the well again._

_After landing on his own time, he didn't know why he gave away the only thing holding his youkai blood back. But in a way, it made sense. He had nothing to live for now that Kagome was gone, so why worry about his life? Handing Tessaiga over – not knowing how long the well would work – was stupid, but he lived without it before._

_He knew Souta would guard it to the best of his abilities. He knew he could trust the kid with one of his only possessions. Even if he didn't live hundreds of years – he was only a hanyou after all – it would give the boy something to remember him by._

_He sat in Goshinboku till a familiar presence reached him. He ignored looking down, content to wait for the little urchin to climb to him._

_"How long were you planning on staying over there??" There was a familiar biting to his ears and he swatted Shippou away with less intensity than normal. He still wasn't in the mood for anything. "You didn't even think we'd want to know how everything went after you left? Think baka!"_

_He gave a halfhearted glare to the kitsune, shifting to his previous stance. "What do you want gaki?"_

_Shippou fumed for a second before heaving a sigh and sitting in front of the hanyou. Green looked to the scenery for a while, sadness coming back. "Nee...how DID it go? Did they...b – bury her yet?"_

_His jaw clenched. Of all things to ask, Kagome would be the touchiest for a long time. "I didn't stay that long, but no they didn't. Happy? Now go away."_

_Shippou glared. "Oi! Can't you just be civil this once? I'm trying to make amends here! Kagome never - never wanted us to fight after all..." There was a beat of silence as the two beings stared at the sky, minds busy. "Nee...Inuyasha..."_

_He looked over when Shippou didn't answer. Agitation was clearly written in his fidgeting. "What? Out with it."_

_Shippou huffed, but blushed a little. "Y – you're not...all that bad...for a hanyou..." Immediately after confessing, the kitsune jumped down and turned into a pink bubble to soften his landing. He took off for the village after, not letting him get anything in._

_He watched before looking back to the sky. The barest of smiles appeared as he digested Shippou's words._

_No one else came to speak with him the rest of the day and he finally left the high perch in search of food. He didn't feel like hunting anything, so gave a slow walk through darkness. He stopped at the top hill and watched for a while, seeing torches burn and a few late nighters._

_He blinked at a familiar pose, but felt like brief company and started down. He had a feeling the idiot was waiting for him anyway...the whole afternoon or the past day was unknown. "Oi...you think youkai are going to attack? There's nothing worthwhile in this village anyway."_

_Dark eyes opened and met gold. An amiable smile formed. "Shippou tells me you left before the burial."_

_"Keh! So what if I did??"_

_"I can understand. It was hard enough for you to bring her back."_

_He glared, but plopped down and shoved hands into sleeves. "What would you know..." He mumbled, futilely trying to keep his cover. He wondered if acting indifferent even mattered._

_"I know more than you do now. While you were away, Sango and I talked. We've decided to marry when some of the pain passes and see about rebuilding her village. She wants to carry on the dream of taiji-ya and I have no heart to stop her."_

_He looked over in shock, feeling envy that his friends got their happy ending. "Keh...no more groping the women?"_

_"He knows better than that."_

_Gold looked back to magenta-lined eyes. He nodded and got one in return as Sango sat on the small porch. "You two are rather noisy for such a time of night. But now that you know...I was thinking of giving it a few days. I couldn't do anything so soon after –"_

_Miroku turned and gave a reassuring smile. "We've waited this long haven't we? A few more days won't be a problem."_

_The two shared a soft glance and watching them made every dream he thought of with Kagome surface. He was angry, sad, wishful, longing, and massively envious. "At least some of us get to be together." He snapped. He hopped off the porch with every intent of leaving, but a hand fisting his hair stopped him._

_"I would think you'd understand Inuyasha."_

_He swatted Miroku away and turned. They faced him, faces unreadable. "Keh... That's your problem – you assume too much."_

_"Houshi-sama is right Inuyasha. We all know you and Kagome-chan should've gotten together as much as she tried to get houshi-sama and myself together. We learned our lesson and aren't going to wait anymore than we have to."_

_He snorted and looked away, lips pressing together. He should've known this was coming, they were promised to each other after all. He should've been happy or at least relieved he didn't have to hear the monk's stupid requests on women anymore...but it only confirmed that he would soon be left alone again. Sango and Miroku would go off together and start a new life; Shippou would probably stay with Kaede, since they got along well; and Myouga could be anywhere by now._

_Still...he was a little happy. White covered his eyes as he turned for the tree. "C – congratulations."_

_"Matte Inuyasha."_

_He whipped around and caught something before he knew what it was. His fist opened and gold widened. "Kore wa!"_

_"You dropped it during the...that whole incident the first night. Kagome-sama meant for you to have it and I couldn't let it get lost."_

_He gave a dry look. "You were thinking of wishing on it weren't you?"_

_Miroku blinked, giving a sheepish smile. "Ah...ano ne...sore wa..." He cried out from a sudden conk on the head. "I wouldn't really Sango – honest!"_

_"Sure. You know that's Inuyasha's!"_

_He stared at the thing he sought in the beginning, the thing of so much trouble in his life. Those he loved died by this jewel. It wasn't worth all the power in the world if he couldn't have Kagome by his side. Not to become a full youkai - his heart's desire in the past._

_"I don't want it."_

_"EH??"_

_"But...Inuyasha! Kagome-chan wouldn't want you to throw it away where any youkai could use it!"_

_"I didn't say I was getting rid of it!" He retorted, fisting it. He wished his strength was enough to shatter it to dust. "I don't want to wish for anything. I don't want to be a youkai anymore and that's all I wanted!"_

_'All I want is Kagome and I can't have her. I wouldn't be so horrible to wish her back to life. By now she's buried under dirt.' His eyes burned a little and he shoved anger to the forefront to hide it._

_"This jewel is nothing but a pain in my ass. Fuck this stupid thing!" He turned and ran back for the solitude and quiet of the forest._

_-----_

_He didn't spend much time at the village except to make sure it wasn't getting attacked and kept an ear out for the wedding. He never saw a Buddhist wedding before and curiosity was peaked._

_There was nothing to do except sleep and catch food, and he was definitely wishing Kagome was back. Most of the day was spent delved into all kinds of memories dating back to their first meeting._

_Just before sunrise three days later, Miroku woke him from a nap with a rock aimed at his head. He nearly killed the monk, wishing he had Tessaiga, but refrained from doing so as he at least didn't fall from Goshinboku._

_"Time to go Inuyasha." Miroku smiled. He nodded and followed. Miroku explained the procedures and what they would have to make due with._

_He sat in attendance at the front with half of the village, watching Kaede in front of the pair. He noticed Miroku didn't change his robes, but Sango was given a white kimono and a few red accessories for luck by some of the women._

_She reminded him too much of what Kagome looked like when he returned her, and what she should've looked like if everything turned out fine. He was forced to look away lest he let himself be overcome by everything again. He didn't want to spoil their day, as they were his friends after all._

_Incense was burned and he covered his nose against it, even though there was a small wind. The pair clasped hands and bowed to Kaede and the offering. A few words to Buddha from Miroku. A young woman from the village brought a bucket of water and set it before the trio before retreating. Miroku and Sango only washed their hands and faces to purify themselves, as water was hard to get this time of year._

_Miroku apologized for not being able to get Sango a ring, but she batted him away by saying she would lose it in a fight anyway. She also apologized for not being able to get one and he said her loyalty was better than any ring._

_That got him a dry look and laughter from everyone._

_There were no scriptures to read from, as this was a very small and rather poor village, so Miroku recited what he knew from memory for himself and Sango. A bottle of sake was passed up front with a glass and Kaede poured. Neither had any family to pass it to, so the pair drank it themselves, claiming their lineage, and having a sip for their relatives._

_Miroku leaned forward and took one of Sango's hands in his, reciting the marriage vow. From what he could see, Sango wasn't required to say it back, but she did. Kaede ended everything by declaring them man and wife and the two bowed in thanks for her presence._

_Kaede was the best choice out of any priest or priestess out there. She was a good friend, wise, and very powerful. He agreed with their choice, even if he called her an old hag. He held respect for her, though he wouldn't let her know that._

_-----_

_Miroku and Sango only stayed a few days before getting their things together and requesting his presence. He left Goshinboku again and met them at the bottom._

_"Walk with us for a few miles Inuyasha." Miroku requested._

_A brow arched. "What good is that going to do??"_

_Sango smiled. "Just humor us Inuyasha. We're going to be busy after this and we'd like you to see us off."_

_A pit in his heart opened up. They were really leaving him to this fate. He couldn't blame them – he didn't want to be around them anyway. They were married and had a life to start together. He wasn't going to lag around and smell them at night and be forced to see some of his more erotic thoughts concerning Kagome._

_"Fine. Let's get going." He led the way around, taking it relatively slow. He remained a few steps in front as before, hands in sleeves. No one said a word, but he could smell how happy they were. He fought jealousy the whole way, wanting to yell at them for flaunting it in his face._

_A few miles out, a light bop on his head from Miroku's staff made him whirl around. "What was that for?!"_

_Dark eyes were sad despite the congenial smile. "I think that's good enough. We wouldn't want to keep you from things."_

_Sango elbowed Miroku, but stepped forward. She looked torn on what to do, settling for a low bow. "You know where we'll be. If not, I'm sure you can track us down if you ever feel like company."_

_"Keh."_

_The staff whapped a foot for that, but Miroku stepped forward with his right hand extended. "Attacking you and Kagome-sama turned out to be the best blunder of my life Inuyasha." He glared, but Miroku ignored it. "Sango is right. Just don't feel like company TOO soon, ne?"_

_Sango blushed and punched a shoulder, making Miroku withdraw his hand before it could be shaken. "ANYWAY! I think we'll take our leave." A hand reached out and grabbed Miroku's ear._

_"Itai! Sango, let go of my ear!"_

_"I will later."_

_He listened to their bantering, watching as they headed away. A few dozen paces, they turned and waved as if knowing he'd still be where they left him. Kirara turned from Sango's shoulder and blinked adorable eyes a few times, giving a soft trill that spoke more than words needed. He nodded to the cat and she moved to watch the road._

_The pit opened up a little more as he was forced to squint to keep them in good view. The road soon took them from his sight, trees blocking them off. Their steps faded from his ears. He stood like a statue for a few positions of the sun, only moving when his feet got tired._

_Another set of people attained their destinies that he wasn't apart of. What did he expect? He didn't want Miroku around in the beginning as competition for Kagome, and Sango tried to kill him when they first met._

_They were good people and he was glad to know them, even if this was goodbye. They didn't say the words, but everyone knew he wouldn't visit. He wasn't going to interfere with their lives now that they left him behind to get started on it._

_He didn't know how long he'd live without Tessaiga by his side, but had no desire to go back for it now._

_He sighed, slowly making his way back. "Sesshoumaru might as well come and get it over with." He groused. Gold absently looked ahead, watching the forest trickle back in as he neared. He noted Shippou in the middle of the path and stopped some distance. "NOW what do you want gaki??"_

_"Kaede-obaasan wants to talk to you."_

_"Heh? About what?"_

_"She says you'll have an idea before you get there." Shippou jumped up and landed on his head, grabbing an ear for support and pointing the way he came. "Iko."_

_A brow ticked, but he was not in the mood to be angry. Right now, he just wanted to be left alone. "Oi...get off me."_

_"Sheesh you're sure no fun anymore. What happened to the old days??"_

_He continued - able to kick the nuisance off if needed. "What happened to wanting to make amends??"_

_Shippou blushed, remembering his words. "Y – yea well...someone has to get you back to normal! Ah HEY!" Shippou gave a cry of annoyance as he was picked up by the fur of his vest and dropped to the ground. Tiny paws removed dirt from the trail and green glared. "Oi, what was that for??"_

_"You have feet you can use. Don't use me as a transport." He mumbled, walking around._

_He stopped at the bamboo screen, burrows furrowed in wonder. 'Just what does she want? It can't be about the shikon can it??' A hand went into the pouch of his sleeve and a finger ran over the bulge concealing said item. 'I have nothing to wish for, but Kagome gave her life to keep it from falling into the wrong hands. She would be angry at me if I gave it up so easily to anyone.'_

_He pushed the curtain aside and was met with the old woman in meditative stance. "I don't intend on making any wish, so you don't need to ask about it." He turned, pausing to wait until Shippou got inside before dropping the flap._

_"It's not about that."_

_He looked back. "Eh?? What else is there??"_

_A wrinkled finger pointed at him. "Have you given any thought to that?"_

_He blinked and slowly walked in, sitting at the edge of the platform. A hand went to his neck and the weight around it. "This?"_

_'The necklace I was cursed with. The thing she kept holding over my head to keep my from acting inappropriately. It changed me more than I thought it would...'_

_"What ABOUT the rosary?"_

_"I can have it removed if you like."_

_Stunned gold looked up. "Nani?? How? Kagome was the only one who set the word. She's the one who has to remove it!"_

_Kaede's head shook. "Kagome activated it and bound you to her. I was the one who made the spell and put it on you. Either of us can remove it. Since Kagome is...I am the one you need to go to."_

_He stared hard at the fire pit in the center. Remove it?? He wore it so long he only knew it was there when Kagome sat him. After a while, he learned to ignore it pretty well._

_'Take it off...I could. It's been a bane to my existence since she first uttered that humiliating word. But...this is all I have of her now besides the shikon...but that wasn't hers to begin with.' Fingers grasped polished black beads, twirling them idly. Part of him was ready to have it removed. There was no use in it and with Kagome the only one to say the word, it was just a necklace. He didn't wear stupid jewelry, and certainly not a religious rosary!_

_Gold closed as he stood and turned for the screen. "Next time, call me with something important to say."_

_"Inuyasha?? Are you saying you DON'T want it removed? I CAN have it taken off. It's a simple procedure."_

_He stopped at the curtain, back facing the woman. "Kagome was the only one who could activate the rosary?"_

_"Hai."_

_"And you're the only one who can remove it."_

_"Hai..."_

_"Then I'll come to you when I want it removed."_

_"Oi Inuyasha!" Shippou cried, stopping at the edge of the platform. "What's gotten into you?? You couldn't wait to have it taken off before!"_

_He pulled the screen aside. "It's...something to remember her by."_

_-----_

_Days blurred together. He ate when necessary and slept when necessary. Kaede only came a few times to visit and Shippou stopped after a while. He sat in the same branch day after day, thinking of Kagome and the others, wondering how they were doing._

_By now Miroku and Sango would've reached her village and started deciding how to rebuild. He had an idea Sango was going over this for a while and would put Miroku to work soon._

_There were only a few youkai to fend off, but they were low-class and not worth his time. The only reason he kept the villagers from bothering is because he really had nothing better to do. His life revolved around survival before Kagome and Kagome after that. Now he had nothing but survival and a little better name thanks to his friends. 'Fat lotta good that does me...'_

_He pulled the shikon from his sleeve and stared at it, feeling hidden power that once tried to corrupt Tessaiga. "To make a wish..." He muttered, turning it in his fingers. Something so small that could create such a huge adventure. "How was it possible so many pieces came from you? You're such a tiny thing."_

_He sighed and put it back, going back to staring at the sky._

_He wanted to visit Kagome's time so bad...visit her grave if he could... He had the inkling to, feeling enough time passed for him to be strong about it. Finding it was the problem, but he didn't care who saw him and had plenty of time to find the graveyard in her city._

_There was a small bit that wanted to keep denial. There were so many memories he relived, and it still seemed so unreal. It was like he was waiting for her to show up after an extremely long time and one of those test things._

_He debated with it all through sunset, finally deciding it couldn't hurt. Provided the well worked... He could feel magic from it, but it was magical to begin with. Any well that ate the bones of youkai wasn't normal. He decided to try his luck and hopped down, deftly landing on his feet and strolling to the clearing._

_The last trip came to mind and he stared at the rim for what seemed eternity until able to get his legs to move. He hopped in and prayed it would work, not knowing what he'd do if the passage was closed._

_He was confused and relieved when the magic activated._

_Nothing changed, but he didn't know if he was expecting it to. He strolled a ways from the shrine and looked around, drinking in the sight as if for the first time._

_He had to admit, he missed this place. He had some happy memories here and there were faint traces of Kagome's smell, mostly coming from the house nearby._

_He greedily inhaled and nostalgia rose. Her voice came to his ears and he searched as if she were around. He twisted in a few circles, berating himself for forgetting the obvious. She was just so alive here and it was like she was really with him._

_He stopped in front of the house and stared. He wanted to climb in her window and see what they did to the room, but he had no right to do so. He had other things to do too._

_Turning, he jumped for the steps leading down and sniffed for graveyards. Knowing what it smelled like from his era was a help and he headed off in one direction. He caught a whiff of it spread out, and made a mental note to check the others later._

_It took quite a while to find her marker. He visited three sites and checked the whole place, but some kanji was hard to read. He knew what it was, but apparently such a time gap changed the characters. He would recognize her name though, and the second he spotted a fresh-looking marker and plenty of offerings, his knees gave out._

_Higurashi Kagome was chiseled in. There were a few burnt out candles, incense that was long gone, and flowers that started to wilt. He stared at the words, knowing under his knees, she was sleeping._

_He exhaled a shaky breath and crawled a few inches closer, finger coming out to trace the indents. The digit went over her first name countless times, eyes morbidly watching it._

_He didn't go to the burial, and he didn't know why he was here. Everything opened up again and his eyes burned. This wasn't fake; his actions proved this WAS her name._

_An anguished cry echoed from his lips, carrying to the dead and the air until his lungs gave out. His forehead pressed against marble, fist pounding on the ground in anger. "It's not fair! It's not fucking fair!!" Claws dug into skin, but he barely felt the pain or blood coating his nails over the rise of emotion. "Stop toying with me! Don't make me live like this Kagome - don't make me live without you!"_

_He couldn't live his life without her – the time since her death showed that. She was the spark that gave him meaning and she was the only human he would live with. No one else interested him, not even Kaede, whom he knew for many years._

_"Why, why, WHY?! Why did you leave me behind?? You wanted to be with me! You said so yourself!" A sob left him. "It was my fault – I wasn't fast enough. I didn't see what you were trying to do. Subete ga ore no sei da!"_

_There was a pulse from the shikon and he ignored it until it continued. He sniffled and yanked it from his sleeve, throwing the fiercest glare he could muster. "This is all YOUR fault! You are the reason Kagome is dead! Why can't you go away??" The pulse continued and some rage died down. He peered at it suspiciously, knowing it was trying to tell him something. "What do you want from me?"_

**_:To make a wish.:_**

_He jerked, eyes widening. He didn't know the shikon had a conscious! Sure it came from Midoriko's heart, but never had Kagome spoken of it trying to communicate with her. "Why should I? The only thing I want is Kagome and I can't have her!"_

**_:Then make a wish.:_**

_"I'm not in the mood for your riddles." He growled, gripping the ball. "You want a wish?! Fine! I wish I could be with Kagome and not have to deal with the pain of losing her! I wasn't strong or fast enough as a hanyou, so what good does it do me?? Shit, I might as well be human for all the good my youkai blood did!"_

**_:Is that your wish?:_**

_He growled. "What more do you want? I just spelled it out for you! You're supposed to take it from there aren't you??"_

**_:Is that your wish?:_**

_Teeth bared. "You're more of a fucking annoyance when you can speak... Yes that's my wish! Shut up about it already!"_

**_:Wish granted.:_**

_The ball glowed the brightest pink he ever saw and his eyes squeezed shut against it. "What the hell are you doing??" Gold peeked open and found the tombstone gone and his entire surroundings with it. Everything in front of him was pink. "What the fuck - where am I?! What the hell did you do to me??"_

**_:I am granting your wish. If you don't mind waiting a little to see your beloved again.:_**

_"I slept for fifty years before I saw Kagome and it's been days already. I waited for her enough as it is; if I get to see her again I'd wait as long as it takes."_

**_:Understood.:_**

__

_He dropped to the floor when his arms were suddenly released. Pain shot up his torso, but he managed a small look. 'That's...everything?'_

**_As you just saw._**_ There was that subdued tone._

_He stood and looked to the hanyou. 'Did you even wish anything? You didn't sound very final about it.'_

**_Yea well...don't mess with the shikon when it doesn't think you are._**

_He snorted and rotated his shoulders to see how badly he'd feel it in the conscious realm. 'So you showed me. Now what am I supposed to do?'_

**_Oh for the love of... You just saw what the hell happened! Seeing it again gave me a few clues, but I don't want to be sure of anything until I talk to Midoriko. If the shikon still has a pulse, that means something is going on inside it. It was supposed to disappear after I made the wish and it didn't. There's something left._**

_He sighed and crossed his arms. 'After all you two put me through the past few weeks...why should I even bother to help you? All Kagome wants is you. Do you expect me to concede?'_

**_Gods we're back to THIS again?!_**_ Inuyasha stalked up and pointed a finger in his face. **I'm sick of this I'm-not-you bullshit! Go talk to the shikon! It's got the answers we want!**_

_'No.'_

_Inuyasha growled, fangs bearing. It took some serious restraint for the hanyou to take a few steps back when he could tell those claws would rather wrap around his throat. **Listen. To. **_**_Me. If you want to resolve this in any way, you need to get your hands on the shikon. It'll tell us what to do about this separation. If you go do this for me and I'm wrong about it I'll...I'll back off._**

_He blinked. "Come again??"_

**_Don't make me repeat myself! _**_Fists clenched. **That's the deal – take it or leave it.**_

_'You're offering quite the hand you know. You're risking the very thing you woke for.'_

**_But I know I'm right. And if I am, we're going to find a way to deal with this._**

_'Hey now! **I **didn't consult to that!'_

**_What do you suggest? I live here and we share?? No way in hell. You go do that and if I'm wrong, I'll go away, but if I'm right, we ask the shikon how to get us put back together._**

_He glared. 'I DON'T want to be you!'_

**_Who says you will? I said we'd get put back together. Provided we merge or something, that means the two of us combine. You'll be a part of me as much as I will you. Got it?_**

_'Doesn't mean I have to like it.' He mumbled, openly pouting._

**_Quit being a baby._**

_'Asshole.'_

**_Bastard._**

_He stood and glared. 'We're not that alike.' He reminded, mostly to himself._

**_Good, cause who'd ever want to be a pansy like you?!_**

_'You certainly seem to want to merge with me that badly.' He smirked, assuming a high-and-mighty pose._

**_Keh! How many times do I have to say it?? All I need is Kagome. That's what I wished for and that's what we're going to solve. Now wake up and go back home. Wait until everyone is out to grab the shikon and head somewhere with it. Go back to that forest and see if you can contact Midoriko._**

_'And if I can't?'_

**_Trust me, you will._**

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Yahari-I knew it/I thought so Inu-niichan-Older brother Inu(yasha) Ningen-Human Yokatta-I'm glad Ano ne-You know Oboeteite-Remember Nee_-_Say/Hey

Gaki-REALLY rude way of saying kid/child Kore wa-This is Ano ne...sore wa-You know...that is **(Also general fumbling for words) **Subete ga ore no sei da-Everything's my fault


	63. Ch 63

He did NOT like this ordering around shit. He only allowed it from his family and Kalie, who was no longer that person and didn't qualify in ordering him around.

He DID want answers as to why – given he WAS this asshole – they split like this. They had three bodies total, he was one, and the hanyou was another. The wonder was great toward Tessaiga ending up in his family after a hundred years and so many possible people...and the outfit given to him on the year he became a man looked exactly like the one the hanyou always wore.

He was torn to obey this once or be spiteful out of all that happened and ignore the irritation for a while. He settled for something in between and decided to walk home.

How he managed to get two miles out of the city on his board amazed him. By the time the hanyou released him to the waking world, dawn appeared, but he was okay with that. He needed light to get back because he had no damn clue where he was! He knew the direction of his house positioned with the sun and was thankful Inuyasha kept him that long. He would've been forced to wait anyway, so it turned out.

It was a slow trek back and his stomach was rumbling by the time brown spotted any building. He wanted to jog over to see what it was and if they were open, but that would use less time. Even after covering some of the distance, he was still irritated at having to do this.

Who knew what the hell that bane to his existence would do to him - to them - once he dug it from the kitchen??

He sighed and idly spun a wheel with a finger from its place hugged against his waist. If this thing was that magical to change so many lives, there would be no way to keep it from contacting Inuyasha. There was no way he could talk to it first.

Thankfully this turned to be a twenty-four hour gas station and he gave a quick look in unease to his attire before going in. This wasn't Japan, even though it was heavily Japanese and Japanese influenced...someone was going to raise a few brows. Quick and fast, that's all he needed. He grabbed an energy drink to get him through the trip and a few granola bars to help his appetite.

"By the gods, Inaki-san...what the hell are you wearing?!"

He cringed and halted at the voice. 'Jolette-san works out here?? Shit I didn't know that!'

He pasted a grin on and set everything on the counter. "Ah...ohayou nasai Jolette-san... What're you doing up this early for work?"

Said person started to do her job, giving a few wide eyes at the attire. "SOME of us have college to pay for. Why are you wearing that outfit??"

Second person to tell him that within the matter of a few hours. A brow ticked in annoyance. "Mou...can't a guy wear the clothes of his ancestry??"

"I don't mean that – you look nice in traditional wear...but why THAT one? That's what you got for Seiji no hi. That doesn't merit everyday wear."

"Yea well...I know that now..." He muttered, trying to fumble for an excuse. Saying the spirit in his head decided it looked enough like the clothes of his era didn't seem to pass for sane. Jolette may've been Japanese, but she would've seen him for a nut job.

"And why are you out so early in the morning? Don't you know your family is looking for you??" Jolette handed him change and looked to the counter. "They called Robert's house asking for you." A finger rubbed over glass top. "Inaki-san...there's something you...don't know..."

Brown widened and his spine straightened at a sense of foreboding. "I don't like that tone Jolette-san...what are you trying to say? I'm not in the mood for stalling."

He caught a glimpse of misty eyes before the girl turned. "Ah, Inaki-san...your hahaue called and said...your hisobosan was..."

He wanted to launch himself over the counter and shake answers out of her. "What?? What happened to hisobosan?!"

"This was last night, but I don't remember the time. They said she was hospitalized. I guess it was a strain on her when...you ran away."

He stumbled back a step, mind reeling at this. "I – I didn't run away! I'm still here aren't I?? Did anyone call you after that?"

The swish of her head was enough to send panic searing his heart. "I – I have to go!!" He whipped around and ran out, taking off down the street with Jolette crying his name in surprise. He was aware he didn't take food or drink, but that was farthest from his mind.

'Masaka! Why did this have to happen?? Damn you Unmei-sama! If it's not one thing it's another! When am I going to get a fucking break?!'

He was huffing by the time familiar surroundings of his neighborhood came into sight. He was tired and wanted to stop, but grit his teeth and forced himself faster. He wouldn't rest until he knew what happened. The stupid shikon jewel could wait – he wanted to know what his precious hisobosan was going through!

He stopped at the edge of the concrete fence and panted for air. Knees gave out and he slumped down, barely managing to catch himself and grimacing against the harsh landing.

He still wasn't able to go in with confidence and not worry about that bastard popping up and trying to take control, but had no choice. If hisobosan was in the hospital, he had to know why. He would push aside such internal turmoil for his family, even if he had to sometimes keep them away from it too.

When he had the strength to raise his head, he jerked in surprise at a pair of shocked, saddened eyes meeting him. Tears gathered there and fell as he righted. "Inaki...you're back."

He nodded and hopped the waist-high fence, taking a few steps inside the yard. The window gaped open and he had the answer of how he was found out. "Somehow...saying sorry isn't going to make up for what I've done, will it?"

"Oh Inaki! It's horrible!"

He steadied them both and wrapped his arms around the girl to comfort her, despite needing it himself. "Nee-chan?? What is it? What happened to hisobosan?!"

That only forced Jayden to cry harder. Her face buried in his haori, hands gripping fabric. She carried on and the door opened in curiosity at her noise.

"Musuko...okaeri nasai..."

He blinked at tears suddenly wavering his vision. A lump in his throat made it hard to swallow, but the warmth in his chest was nice and he embraced it. "Okaasan."

Kristine didn't run as Jayden did, but threw arms around both children and hugged them to her. Jayden's position shifted enough to accept her mother's hold. "Shh, Jayden...you have to calm down a little."

"Okaasan, what happened to hisobosan?? Ogenki desu ka??"

Brown and green locked until green filled with tears. "Ano...sore wa...Mira-san wa..."

Dread bumped his skin. "M – masaka! Hisobosan is okay, ne okaasan??"

"Chigau."

The pair looked up and his jaw clenched. "Ojiisan."

Kekoy took the stairs down and stopped a few paces from the group. "Hahaue...died not too long before your arrival magomusuko."

The breath stilled in his lungs. Tears rapidly filled and cleared as the news sunk in. "S – so – sonna..."

Kekoy nodded and moved to gently tug Jayden's hold away and put his arms around her instead. The girl's crying continued with the reaffirmation of news, and buried her face in his shirt.

His body turned to stone and wouldn't obey him. He barely felt his mother's comforting touch before it was ripped away on his trip to the ground. He didn't feel the landing, but his body let him know it was being abused by pain.

Shocked, dead brown stared at ground, trying to focus the chaos in his head and find some logic. Tears kept dripping from his face and annoying his hands, but he couldn't get them to move.

'Hisobosan...you were the last person I heard besides otousan. Why you?? Why did this happen to you?!' Fists clenched and jammed into his eyes, squeezing them to feel physical pain. It barely made a dent in the hole that engulfed him. 'Hisobosan! Naze!! Did I do this to you?? You, who stayed outside waiting for such a worthless person as myself!'

He barely heard his name in question, the words of comfort to try and get him to head inside. He ignored them all, lost in his grief, and hunched over, pounding a fist against the ground. "NAZE?! Naze hisobosan wa!!"

He sobbed without a care of who heard. Guilt over his great grandmother's death hit and hit hard. His family was the only one who never judged him or made him be someone else...they loved him unconditionally and because of that fact alone, he loved them more than his own life. Now a member of his house was gone. He never knew his great, great grandparents, but wistfulness of being able to see them occasionally crossed him mind as a child from stories of the elders.

Hands finally touched his back. He ignored them until tears finally dried and he was incapable of them. Fatigue weighed on him so heavily, and with the lack of good sleep recently, he almost passed out. It would've been a relief from the real world, but his mind was as horrible a place right now.

There was no release from his life. Horrible things happened to him any which way now and it was building up. He had no way out, no one to turn to let loose his grief. The others had enough sadness to be burdened with his. He needed a rock in a place full of sand.

"Musuko, come inside. All is forgiven – we don't question your actions or why. You should get some sleep to feel better."

"How will it get better?!" He snapped, sitting up. Red-rimmed eyes glared at his family. "Hisobosan wa shinimashita yo!" Kristine stooped to rest a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off. "It'll never be okay again...never!"

"Yamoi Inaki, don't you treat your mother that way!"

The sharp tone of ojiisan stung and anger deflated. He hunched over, eyes somehow filling again. "Hisobosan..." He was helped to his feet and practically walked into the house. He had no energy to walk, to stand, to even breathe.

Omo was sitting with Setsumo and both looked grave, but didn't say a word to his sudden appearance. Probably because he looked like shit and they knew he was told. He mentally thanked them anyway and tried not to stumble up the steps to the upper level.

"I don't want...to sleep..." He mumbled, resting against the wall in his room in meek defiance. "Hisobosan doesn't get to be awake anymore...I need to do so...for her."

Jayden bit her lip at his words, but nodded to her mother and the two gently grasped an arm. "We're all up ototo; we can do so for her. You need to rest so you can stay up for hisobosan as much as you like. Right now, you won't do her much good."

"Not fair, not fair... Hisobosan..." He sunk onto the futon, its soft padding so much better than hard, prickly ground. Brown closed instantly to savor the feel and the smell that was uniquely his. "Naze desu..."

The pair watched him mumble until his words became unintelligible. Brown looked to green, both sad and tear-lined. "Okaasan... Where do you think he went? Why did he wear this outfit? And why was," Brown shot a wary look to outside the room, "ototo practicing with ojiisan's katana??"

Kristine's head shook with a heavy sigh. "Questions we can worry about later musume. But ones I don't have any answer too." The woman looked down and moved to pick a stray leaf from his hair. "Who knows where he went since yesterday afternoon? He's the only one who can tell us and we have no right to ask him. Not now that his suffering has begun."

Jayden glumly nodded. "Who knew this would push hisobosan's heart to extremes." She harshly swallowed, trying to keep from crumpling.

"Come musume. Let's leave him to peace. We can't help him and he doesn't want it from us. But I think I know of someone who can."

He didn't know how long he slept, whether it was a full day or just half. Afternoon sun was right in his face and he was hell-bent on ignoring it. He didn't have the energy to roll over, and even breathing seemed to take effort. The weight of his heart was worse than the fate of his life.

There was a small, timid brush to his bangs and it took away some pain. He focused on touch instead of emotions and reveled in the feelings it evoked. He wished it to carry on forever, or until he processed everything and could deal with it better. "Ii na..."

"Hountoni kore wa ii?"

Brown peeked open at the familiar voice and the second he caught a familiar smile, they widened. "Y – you!" He rolled away and landed with a low thud on his back. He didn't feel anything and shot to his feet. "What are YOU doing here?? Who let you in?!"

"Your okaasan called me. And Kekoy-san let me in."

He glared at the mere thought of HER watching him sleep. "They shouldn't have." Hands plunged in his hair and he started pacing tatami. "But they didn't know did they? Then I can forgive them for the mistake. But still, why did they do so behind my back?? Didn't they think for one second on that?"

"Inaki..."

"I mean, they don't know anything. That's easy to see. I bet they're burning with questions now." He stopped and slapped hands over face. "Oh gods! I'm in so much shit! They're going to throw me out and then I really WILL have to sleep on the ground!"

"Osuwari!"

Before he could think, his body sat on the futon and incredulously stared at sheepish brown. "What the fuck was THAT?!" He stared at his legs, blinking and tapping a finger at them.

"Ah, ha ha...gomen. Force of habit."

He glowered. "So it would seem..." It was nice to know he had control of his body and turned to give his attention. "Why ARE you here?? Do you honestly think I want you near me right now? You're the cause of the other half of my distress. I left because of that crap and it caused hisobosan stress that she died from. Don't you think that entitles me to a little peace from you??"

"I – I heard about that... Gomen ne Inaki-kun..."

"Don't call me that!"

"Would you prefer your other name then??"

He glared, a reflexive growl coming from spending too much time around the other. He paused as soon as it rang in his ears and slapped himself for such comparable behavior. "Damn it! Why do you do this to me?!"

"I'm not doing anything!"

"And just who is 'I' anyway? Which one are you? It was all a trick wasn't it? You just wanted him all along. All those pretty words and ways of roping my attention and curiosity were just fake."

"Chigau! Stop pointing fingers at me! You think **I **had anything to do with this?! I just found out about everything not too long before you. Where do you think that shoulder wound came from?? I came to grips with things just after I left the hospital and some still takes getting used to."

"No way can I believe you were a pawn like I am."

"It's the truth – take it or leave it. Kristine-san called me to cheer you up and comfort you, but I can see you'd rather have me gone. I'll not stand here and be insulted. It's nice to see you – though the comparisons are overwhelming me – but I'll not take your abuse. Mou, and I thought I'd be used to this by now..."

He watched her walk a few steps to leave and reached out to grab her arm before he could stop himself. No matter whom she was, her face was a comfort to his nerves.

Fiery eyes whipped to meet his before she yanked her arm free. "Did you have something else to berate me on?"

He snorted and plopped on the bed, hands going in his sleeves. Brown looked to the floor. "Answer me this...what makes him so special?"

"I...I love him, but I love you too."

"Not good enough."

She scowled. "If you're asking who's the better person, you'd be it. You're polite, funny, charming, caring, emotional...basically a lot of what he's not. But he is caring in his own way and he's loyal, protective, strong, honest, sweet, and occasionally thoughtful."

"So really, you still can't figure it out. You can't have both you know and I won't be him."

"Well I'm not her! You want to know what happened to me in the end?"

"I saw what happened, saw more than I wanted. I got the whole after picture too and it's not pretty." He finally looked up and gave a raised brow. "So what EXACTLY do I call you now? I'd like to have a name with the face, or I'll just call you who he knows."

"I haven't changed you know, I'm still Kalie. I gave you that name when you asked the last time. You don't know what happened to the souls that got split. They were born in me and I ended up being the piece ripped from Kikyou. Kagome finally showed me the truth and what I was missing and I took it. Maybe you should give him some thought as well."

"You just told me I was the better half! Why should I give that up?? This is MY life!"

She smirked. "Now why does THAT sound familiar?"

"Uresai!" A hand rubbed his chin as he moved to sit cross-legged. "He wants me to talk to the shikon."

"Yahari."

"Eh?"

"I thought I sensed the tama's power. I bet I could pick it from the correct floorboard too."

He balked. "How can you have Kagome's power??"

She snored. "And you're Buddhist... Kikyou was born with massive spiritual power was tagged to her soul. Kagome was born with massive spiritual power – given time they both could've been powerful miko. They're the same person and I'm the same from them. I was born and acted on Kikyou's part of our soul; I got her magic with it."

That got his curiosity. "Have you tried anything with it?"

Brown rolled. "How CAN I? There're no youkai in this country. Even if some moved this far away to live in peace, I bet they know spells to conceal their youki that even I don't know about. Who knows how long they live anyway? Maybe they're all dead." Their eyes met in silence before she longed to figure out what was going on past vacant eyes. "What?"

"Hearing you talk like that is almost freaky."

"You didn't sound very stable pacing your floor you know. If I hadn't gone through the same thing already, I would've backed out of the room by now."

He snorted and shifted to rest on the mattress. A hand plopped on his chest, staring at the ceiling. Silence came after he finished shifting to get comfortable. "So, I suppose you heard when you got here." He muttered, face turning solemn.

"Ee."

"Is that why you came? To cheer up and comfort me?"

"Did you think it was to get to Inuyasha?"

"Yes."

"Then you're wrong." Brown met serious, hurt brown. "You two are totally different people and I love you both separately. I love Inuyasha for his strength, loyalty, honesty, and good side; and I love you for your personality, humor, kindness, thoughtfulness, and politeness." Teeth nibbled on her lip. "But thinking back on who you were before this happened, I do see some of him in you."

He groaned. "Not you too! I got enough comparisons to that jackass from him...you can spare me the details."

She smiled and stared, getting to when his eyes closed. Legs went to chest as she huddled on Jayden's futon, content to watch him all day.

He was so gorgeous and even his other two forms had handsome qualities. The human form was striking, the youkai wild and disheveled, and the hanyou a mix between the two. Her body burned with a need to be with him, and damned her thoughts but she wanted to curl up next to him and kiss for a while.

But he would rather throw her out than touch her. His actions upon waking showed that much. He fell out of bed just to get away from her, not caring where he would go.

Brown misted as she looked to her knees. 'I shouldn't blame him. Kagome was so angry at him in the past for this same thing. It's only right I get a little of it back.' A small, humorless smile appeared. 'Looks like I'll never get to have a normal life. I thought, maybe...with him...I could smooth this over. If only the bridge in his mind wasn't crossed. I could've lived with Inaki like he was before Inuyasha demanded to get out. But...I still love Inuyasha too...'

A hand rose, fingers lightly brushing over her lips. That last, and only, kiss she shared before death was so beautiful. She wanted so many more with him, but her first kiss was taken this time. If only she wasn't so daring in this life, she would've been able to give him that at least.

Brown opened all the way as he turned to her, watching her misery. He couldn't help but wonder what was going on in her head. Was she still fighting some pieces from the other lives? He had just one and it was hell on earth, so he couldn't imagine what two would be. It was amazing she managed to continue work and classes, but it explained the odd behavior months ago.

His head shook, berating himself for caring. Was he going to cast aside the fact she said she loved him and another man at the same time?? As stupid as it was, they were as different as night and day. Inuyasha was not apart of his mind, so he might as well be another person.

That's probably what hurt the most. He finally got the guts to tell her, she actually told him back, and then her soul was already tied to someone. He wanted the person to love him and only him with no opposition. He didn't do competition.

He mentally sighed, torn on what to do, what to say. There was so much Kagome in the way she sat, looked, and the way she never cowered under any kind of confrontation. He always hoped Kalie would've managed to be stronger, but not to the point of being someone else entirely!

His brow furrowed. They turned in a circle to where it was like they never knew each other and didn't like each other again. It was kind of hard to fathom, given the things they shared. One would think they'd be inseparable after all of it. Of course, this was the question of just how well they could persevere. It seemed stupid to think that, but was he going to let this take away the one person that calmed his soul, no matter who she was? Granted this person was who the other longed for and imprinted on HIM...

Didn't he tell her he loved her though?

His heart squeezed at the time he thought it for the first time, of being able to tell her. He went through their meetings, every time they talked and hung out together. A smile rose in sheer perverse irony that was their lives. "Seems you got the shittier life this time around." He muttered.

She rapidly blinked to hide her tears, eyes confused. "Huh?"

"You heard me. I got the family, the friendship quality, ability to speak, the emotional capacity, and stable life. You got Kikyou's hatred, the relationship problems, his tendency to keep quiet about himself and his life, loner attributes, and moodiness."

"Moodiness?!" She sent him a dry look. "I DID, did I? What about you?? I at least got her sense of forgiveness to really bad actions, school ethics, study habits, drive to worry about others, figure, skin tone, politeness, and singing voice. What did YOU get? His human form, swearing habits, love for stupid stunts, Japanese background, higher-than-thou attitude, lust for trees, and irrational behavior."

"IRRATIONAL??" He shot up and stared at her in shock. "Isn't that calling the kettle black?! Me irrational...I'm not one you should be saying that to!"

"Well who are you to call ME moody?? Right now you're worse than I am! If you're going to point fingers at someone, look in the mirror and do it yourself."

"I can't – I don't have my own visage!"

"You'll get used to that."

He started pacing again. "I don't WANT to get used to it! So I got some of his features – big deal! Every kid who lives with their parents does some of the same behavior." He stopped in front of the window and opened it all the way, leaning on the sill. A small breeze blew in, bangs tickling his nose. "I'm not going to let anyone push me around, let alone HIM. This is my life, I got it fair and square, and he's not going to force me to merge with him."

She wanted to laugh at the near mirror of his words. Kagome said them so many same times and so did she. Her only difference was she had nothing to lose – he had everything.

Her heart went out to him. She watched him stare out, jaw clenched tight. She felt sorry for his opponent to be Inuyasha. With Kagome as the prize, the hanyou would stop at nothing...he was loyal past death – as showed with Kikyou – but maybe the words from her lips would persuade him to stop.

But she wanted to be with Inuyasha almost as much as Inaki.

It was a hard choice, considering they were the same, yet different. She understood that now, but it was hard to apply it to him. No matter how much he denied it, there was a lot of Inuyasha in Inaki. Either Inuyasha was starting to take hold in his normal stealth fashion, or Inaki always acted that way and never knew why.

Her mouth opened to ask what he was thinking when his head bowed and shoulders trembled the barest of degrees. Her brow furrowed and she stood without thought. She padded around his bed and stopped inches behind, teeth gnashing lip. Her hands moved and paused just before touching his back. They pulled away and moved again...stopping in the same place.

'Onegai Kagome...give me the strength to help him.'

She took a deep inhale and forced herself to move. Fingers touched thick cotton and flattened.

He tensed, but she expected that. Not to be deterred, hands slowly twisted and encircled his waist as she pressed against him. "Nani wa kangaete?" She whispered, pressing a kiss to his spine. "You can tell me...no matter whom I am. I will still love you regardless."

His face crumpled. He thought to keep quiet, but her touch felt so nice and so necessary. It seemed forever since he felt this way with her and he needed it more than anything. Tears lined his eyes as a hand moved and rested over hers.

"Hisobosan is dead because of me. If I hadn't left, she wouldn't have worried herself to extremes. But I couldn't let them see what he was putting me through... I didn't want them to fear me or fear for my sanity. I didn't know what he'd do to them – what he'd say." He exhaled a shaky breath. "Boku no sei. If only I hadn't left...I could've hidden it. I know I could've!"

She disengaged from his back and grabbed forearms to turn him. He went willingly, but didn't meet her eyes. "Listen to me. Mira-san's death wasn't your fault. She was eighty-three. Maybe it was her time. Shinigami never tells us these things." Tears lined her eyes as a hand rose and pressed over his heart. "Do you feel blame here?"

His head shook, head drooping. "Only misery." Her other moved and cupped a cheek, thumb rubbing over skin. Tortured brown met hers before they closed and he leaned against her touch.

"None of this is your fault. None of it is my fault. None of it is anybody's fault. We were born with issues from past lives still unsettled. Don't think because you were going through so much that it transferred to Mira-san." The other hand moved and both drew his face forward. Her forehead rested against his with a sigh. "You deserve none of this. How I wished you could've lived a life of blissful ignorance to everything that happened in the past. Kagome wanted to tell you because that's what she woke for. But I couldn't let you go through that. I saw differences between you two and I didn't want you to fight like I did. You have to believe me on that."

They looked at each other for what seemed eternity. He searched pleading eyes, digging deep to search for the truth. He blinked back tears, finding she was honest in her words.

He copied her hands, relishing in the feel of smooth skin. "Through my betrayal...a part of me missed you so much..."

"I never meant to hurt you like that. You did so much for me and I love you because you are you. You know how hard it is now to fight the comparison of your other. I allowed myself to become whole and I don't regret it, but I wasn't able to stop from saying what I did. I'm all of them, but I'm still myself. I found a line and I'll never cross it."

"Shinjimasu. Now that I've been through some things - been able to think of them – I understand more. None of us should've gone through it, but we can never escape our pasts can we?"

"Not for me it seems. But you broke free from the life he led. You didn't have to be the way he was. You're a whole other person because of that. I don't know what else to say, but never forget who you are."

His lips tilted. "I did miss you. The feel of your skin, your calming presence..." Brown closed. "But you're the one he was looking for. I still don't know if I would've met you if it wasn't for that."

Her mouth opened to answer him, but closed. Thoughts raged, trying to get sorted to give him an answer to not lose hope. How could she tell him to go with his heart when Inuyasha was the one guiding him from the unknown in the past?? "You asked me out long before either of them awoke. You were interested in me before you knew why. Even now that you know, does that still make a difference?"

He could tell this was hurting her, but he had it just as bad. There were no sparing feelings here because someone was going to get hurt. If they didn't resolve this together, they would end up going their separate ways.

He thought of it only in spite, but never did he consider talking to someone who threw his mind into chaos. Her words reached him though and he figured he owed her a decent conversation if nothing else. After all they went through since the beginning it was scary to see them parting ways. Even if the hanyou needed her, he did as well. He was tired of being alone and dated for more than just Inuyasha trying to find Kagome.

Brown opened and stared at her. He loved her before he knew what was going on in her head...did that mean she changed in his mind? He thought that was Kalie and even during the hospital when Kagome peeked out.

Gods he was so confused...

"I can't think – I just don't know. Does it matter? Is any of it relevant? Are we ourselves or just the people we were before, and adapting to this time and place? Were we EVER ourselves?"

She was unable to handle such forlorn on his face and defeat in his voice. She knew what that was like and it pained her to see. Her lips touched his, desperate to make him understand and snatch the words from his mind. She didn't want him thinking that way. Perhaps she had more experience with this kind of thing – as far as the soul itself – but he would never survive the rest of his life as either person if he couldn't be sure of himself!

He was shocked at her action, but the second it wore off a hidden fire burst to life and he practically attacked her. Arms wrapped around her waist and tightly pressed her against him, fingers splaying over her back.

His mind blanked of everything that happened and focused on her. The feel of her body set his haywire. It seemed so long...so long since he touched her this way.

They pulled away for air, lungs unable to keep up with bottled passion and emotion. She stepped away and touched her lips, eyeing him as he did the same. Neither said a word, but a small smile appeared. "I wanted to do that with you for a while."

"Me or him?"

She took a step forward, hand extended. "Just you...only you."

He took her hand, satisfied with her answer. Their fingers entwined and he stared at the size distinction before giving a squeeze. It was returned and he tugged her closer. "No matter what he wants of me, I can't lose you. I know that now."

She hugged him, face pressing against his collarbone. "If you don't want to, he can do nothing against it. This is your life – you said so yourself." Brown looked to brown. "You said he wants you to talk to the shikon. I have questions I want answered to. Let's ask them together."

He gave a small nod and looked to the back of his door. "We'll wait until later. I'm not going to worry about him until everything in my life is figured out. And right now I'm more concerned about what'll happen than his issues."

She smiled. "Why don't you get some more sleep...you probably didn't get much with him and you look like you need it."

"Thanks."

"I call it as I see it."

He grinned after a second and let go to plop on the bed. He heaved a sigh and moved to the other side after a second. "Sit."

A brow rose. "That doesn't work on me like it did him you know."

Brown rolled before he leaned up and grasped a hand. Without warning, he pulled her down and made sure to catch her when she landed on him. "Sit." He mumbled, pressing a kiss to her temple. "You're not leaving and if I'm going to bed, you are too."

Her heart skipped a beat as he pulled her down for a kiss. She rested on him until forcing herself to move. "This is...not the time or...place..." She breathed. Her head moved to the side as lips touched neck. "Your...family is in...the traditional room..."

He stopped and pulled away. "Are they all there?"

"Hai."

"Suppose they don't need to hear us then. The place isn't that soundproof." She reached out and slapped a shoulder, grinning despite herself. "Joudan! Now get off me before your tits crush my ribs."

"You never complained before." She muttered, sliding to one side.

He inhaled a shaky breath at that and forced his hands to keep from touching her. "Minx." Arms tugged her to spoon her body. "This I definitely missed..."

"Ee."

How he slept so long was beyond him, but the events didn't make it easy on his mind. The only reason he woke was a quiet nose reached his ears. The past few days of light sleeping changed his habits and brown opened. He looked over Kalie's head and found Jayden sliding into bed.

'Night already?! But it was just afternoon!' He looked at the dark settings, wondering how he could easily dismiss that.

"Nee-chan?"

Jayden whirled around and relaxed, giving a small nod. "Ototo..." Brown landed on Kalie. "We didn't have the heart to wake you two, but is she going to stay the night?"

He pricked up, eyes wide. "Oh shit! Her work!!"

"I've got...the next few nights off..." The pair blinked at the sleepy mumble, watching Kalie sit up with a yawn and stretch. "Kristine-san called me and asked me to come over. She told me what happened and I called work to let Charlie know what was going on and got my schedule covered. I emailed my teachers so I'm free for a while."

"How the hell did you manage to do all that in one day??"

Kalie turned, pinning him with serious eyes. "You needed me. I wasn't going to sit around and linger."

He smiled and brushed a hand over her cheek, getting a smile. "I have to say, the work ethic is still the same as it always was." The two grinned at that private joke before he looked past. "Nee-chan, has anything been discussed while we slept?"

"Ee. We're letting the hospital wash and stuff the body. None of us have the heart to do so, even if it is hisobosan. We're pulling her best kimono and bringing it tomorrow for the mortician to dress her in." A hand nervously pushed hair behind an ear. "Ojiisan is talking with okaasan about the date, but we all agreed there's no need in waiting. We can get Wednesday in the early afternoon."

He looked to the bed, giving a small nod, feeling highly subdued. "Is everyone going to be allowed to the wake?"

A raven brow rose. "Of course ototo! Everyone knew hisobosan as good as we did – if not better. We shouldn't keep friends from the right to say goodbye."

He nodded again and slid from the futon. "I should get some food – I haven't eaten well."

"I'll come with you Inaki. It's been hours for me too." They got to the kitchen before he stopped and slumped onto the eating table. She stopped and stood before him, arms bringing him to her. There were no words of apology or ways to cheer up that she knew, so this had to suffice.

He sighed and nuzzled her stomach, pressing a kiss against it. Arms went around her waist and he groaned after a second of her hands stroking his hair. He was grateful for everything, for being next to him without it needing to be asked or said. She always knew, as Kagome and Kikyou did.

The past lives brought his attention to what he needed to be doing and he shifted to stare at the tiles. A beat of power greeted his senses and he focused internally, a little surprised at the absence of internal noise. 'Where are you?'

**Still here...**

'You haven't bothered to show yourself recently. Why?'

**It's not the time.**

'Eh? Are you saying even a hanyou knows when to give peace to a mere human?'

**Keh!**

He smiled. 'Arigatou. I promise I will talk to the shikon, but give me this time to bury my family.'

**Un.**

He regrettably pulled away and looked up, letting her hands continue their administrations. "Are you sure you want to be there with me for this? I won't keep you from it, but you never knew her that well."

A hand left the back of his head and wrapped around his chin. "You need me. I can see it in your eyes. I'll be there for you and to say my goodbyes. I knew Mira-san too."

He nodded and pressed forehead against stomach, blandly staring at tatami. "I have a few days till I need to finish what's going on. I promised I would do what we talked about, but he's granting me this time."

"Really?" He looked up at that thread of amusement. "I never knew he was that kind to back down."

**Oi! Bitch!**

An eye squeezed shut against the onslaught. "Please don't piss him off – you'll make my head hurt...literally."

She smiled and leaned down to kiss his head. "Gomen ne."

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Ohayou nasai-(Good) morning Sonna-It can't be/You're joking **(General statement of disbelief)** Naze hisobosan wa-Why is great grandmother (dead)

Hisobosan wa shinimashita yo-Great grandmother is dead Ii na...-That's nice... Hountoni kore wa ii?-Is this really nice? Osuwari-Sit Nani wa kangaete-What are you thinking

Boku no sei-My fault Shinigami-God of death Shinjimasu-I believe (you)


	64. Ch 64

It was nice to spend all of Tuesday with Kalie with no restraints on his life. The family closed the business and many neighbors came to pay their respects that wouldn't be at the wake or funeral. He didn't want any of that when he couldn't deal and hid a few times or practiced to blow off steam.

Everyone rose early and dressed in all-black, traditional clothes. He grasped Kalie's hand rather hard for her strength to help him get through the day. She understood by the number of looks and squeezes to let him know she was there.

The lobby was silent, soothing music playing in the background. He practically walked backward in reaching the room reserved for today. Everyone moved around when he stopped just outside and opened the doors, giving a prime glimpse of casket and chosen altar, and the breath left him in a rush.

An arm went around his waist when he wavered a little and he leaned against her, pointedly staring at the ground. "I – I can't...go in there..." He whispered, burying head in shoulder. Kagome's smell came and he tried to steady himself with it.

A hand ran through unbraided hair – hair left that way now – as her chin rested on the top of his head. "Yes you can. I'm right here Inaki. I'll not let go of your hand unless you do first, hai? Do this for Mira-san."

After a second, he nodded and stared at wood. Teeth bit his lip and he embraced physical pain as a shaking hand rose and gradually pushed a swinging door open.

The room was large and there were rows of zabuton-style cushions lined against a few walls. There were a few kneeling contraptions out, along with an empty casket. He stopped just far enough to let the doors close and swallowed hard.

She looked very nice in the chosen outfit. He recalled so many times when that kimono was brought out and hisobosan wore that. She didn't wear it in the last decade, but when he was a child, she indulged in the youthfulness she said it gave her. Now it was something to bury her with and he wished he could keep it to remember her by.

Everyone was up front, quietly talking amongst themselves or praying. He stood like a statue, unable to get his feet to move. He couldn't look at her peaceful face without feeling guilt – this was killing him as it was.

A tug on his hand jostled his attention and he looked over. "Come on Inaki." She quietly coached. An encouraging smile peeked out as she took a few steps. "You can do this. I know you can. I won't let go of your hand unless you want, but I'd like to go see her...if that's alright with you."

He gave a dumb nod and padded forward on tabi feet, moving around Jayden and his father on their way out. Neither looked very stable – Jayden in particular – but their faces hid most of the emotions going on within.

They stopped mere feet away and his jaw clenched to keep his chin from wobbling. Looking at her like this made him hollow and it was like he wasn't the one here...he was only watching from someone else's eyes again.

Every apology possible ran through his head, but she wouldn't hear them. He wanted to fall to the ground and beg for forgiveness, but couldn't move. His legs kept him up and that was a mystery in itself. How he was even able to get out and do all this was beyond him.

They were the only two left up front after a bit but he still hadn't shifted. His legs were demanding to bend, but he stood holding her hand and looked at hisobosan's peaceful face with dead eyes. If he hadn't felt so disconnected since he got in the car, he would've started crying already. He wasn't that horrible to keep a few tears from those that deserved it, but he couldn't. It was like a block to his emotions kept him from doing so.

Whether that was a good thing or not he didn't know, but there would be plenty of tears shed soon.

Behind him doors opened and it helped pull him to the outside world. His free hand disappeared into the sleeve and retrieved a small book of haiku given to him by hisobosan as a present long ago. He hadn't read them lately, but knew she liked them and could make more use of them than he could. It sounded wrong to give a gift back, but he wanted to give something and it was the first thing that came to mind. He leaned over and set it in line with a white kimono, leggings, zouri, some money to pay her toll, and white headband.

He finally turned at murmuring voices and another tug on his hand. He moved almost obediently, as if Kalie was family and he was just visiting. He felt like a stranger and it was hard to approach the attendants talking to the others about what was going to happen.

Kristine turned and held a hand out when they neared. "Musuko...the monk is here and waiting for us. Jayden and Omo-kun are out front welcoming those that started entering. Would you like to come with us or stay with Mira-san?"

It was a hard choice all around. The family was large enough to do all three things at once. "Is hisofusan and ojiisan staying here?" Kristine's head shook. "Someone needs to stay with hisobosan...I'll do that."

"I will too...if I may." She added, giving a small bow.

Kristine nodded and gave a grateful smile before the group left to discuss things. His shoulders slumped and with it his head. After a second, a humorless smile tipped his lips. Tears lined his eyes, wavering his vision. "You know...for all the death he saw...this is the first time I ever experienced it."

She turned and hugged him to her, getting an immediate tight embrace. Her heart went out to him and it pained her to hear him speak that way and in such a tone.

They stayed like that until a small group of people peeked in. He bowed in greeting and exchanged a few words, letting them head up front. He didn't know how many people were allowed to come to the wake, but they were all well known and he knew it was open to everyone who knew hisobosan. But the amount staggered him and he felt proud so many people were close enough and cared to come.

They stood off to the side, Kalie exchanging more words and pleasantries than him after a while. He listened to a few murmured prayers by some and the quiet tinkling of a bell. It went off quite a few times before everyone sat down.

A few attendants came in and made sure everyone was ready before setting out a row for family. The others came back, priest with them, and he dumbly followed the holy man to the front.

He held her hand while watching the priest bow and light the first round of many incense sticks. The elderly man moved to the side and grabbed a metal cylinder, unrolling a sutra and starting in.

That was their cue. Hisofusan got up with help from ojiisan and obaasan, the others silently rising. Kalie helped him up, as he couldn't make his legs move without mental command, and took his hand again as they stopped up front again.

It was rather outrageous that Kalie was by his side, when only family were allowed up first, but he gave a rat's ass about traditional rules. He needed her to be strong for him now. She accepted when asked – knowing she knew the rules – and was thankful. For that, he let her light off incense with the rest of them before they sat down.

He watched the rows behind shuffle up just as quietly, filling the room with smoke and smell of jasmine and vanilla. It seemed unreal to be here and he'd give anything not to, but wouldn't forgive himself for missing this. There was only the funeral and then he'd never see hisobosan's face again – he owed it to himself to get as much as he could before all he had left were memories and pictures.

Tears lined his eyes again and bangs quickly covered them. He got a squeeze and returned it; the priest's chanting filling his ears. A few people quietly recited in synch and he wished to do so, but didn't know enough of his heritage to pay attribute.

After everyone in the room made a trip, there was a little wait to the end of the scroll before the monk carefully rolled it up and put it back in its case. He watched the man stand and made to do so with everyone else. Everyone bowed and he gave a gentle tug as his parents filed out first.

He watched Jayden separate from the slow-moving group and exit first. He let go of Kalie's hand to hold the door open, also to grab one of the boxes containing the gifts prepared for today.

He mentally asked Inuyasha to help disassociate a little to keep from showing tears in front of so many people. He knew he could do this, but a little help was always good. There was a stirring in his conscious and mute compliance. There was a sense of indifference filling him – though very minute – and he latched onto it. He felt disconnected again, just like the arrival.

He watched the doors prop open and grabbed one of the presents. They didn't really know what was appropriate for a funeral, so decided on something simple. Green tea for health, a good luck charm, and a hand-written wish for longevity and gratitude of friendship. He handed out at least a dozen, bowed at every proposal, and occasionally shook hands. He exchanged few words and took many, bowing in acknowledgement, but never once betraying anything by showing it on his face.

It seemed to take forever and he was glad it was over. As much as he wanted to deny this whole thing, he wished it were done so he could deal with everything assaulting him. The turmoil in his life was pushed aside for this, but he had still so much to sort through. He was mildly thankful for this reprieve and promised the other even more that he would do what it wanted for giving so much peace.

There was a small debate who would stay behind and although it was a lonely and morbid task, there was argument of who would do so.

"Please chichiue, you shouldn't be out here right now." Mamorah pleaded. "We know it means a lot to you to stay with hahaue, but...you –"

The man placed a hand on her arm. "I was married to Mira for sixty-six faithful years – I want my chance to see her off. You'll not keep me from this because my body is old."

That was everyone's main fear...if Setsumo stayed, his heart would long to be with his wife and he might follow. No one wanted to bury more than they had to.

At length, Omo nodded. "We understand. We respect your decision." Neither Mamorah or Kekoy looked happy at their son speaking for them, but gave small nods.

"We'll find a few attendants and bring you some food at mealtime." Kristine added.

The drive home seemed unreal. He had no wish to sit at the table while the others counted the condolence money to help pay for the burial and cremation. "Let's go take a walk." He muttered, looking to brown.

She blinked, but nodded. "Let me get my shoes."

-----

They were both silent and as touchy-feely as Inaki was at the wake, he was oddly distant. She stared, torn as to touch him and ask if he wanted to talk or let him be. It was hard to lose a loved one, but she never remembered going to a family funeral before. She never knew either set of grandparents – as far as she knew they died when she was too young to understand or wasn't born at the time.

Teeth bit her lip as she hunched a bit in hesitation. Hands went into pockets to keep from acting unnecessary. If it was Inuyasha, she knew he would want comfort, even if he didn't outwardly ask for it. But she never had any kind of rather depressing or horrid events with Inaki. She didn't know how much he was like Inuyasha in his actions.

They stopped around the edge of downtown and he plopped down under a tree for shade. It was warmer in the sun, but he didn't really feel the cold – not that he ever did. He stared at sky and girl who had yet to sit. A hand extended and she shuffled close, avidly watching him.

He stared at nothing across the street, unable to meet her eyes. "You know...I haven't expressed in words my gratitude for having you here with me today."

"You don't have to thank me for being here on something –"

A hand shot between them and cut her off. "I'll finish what I have to say." Legs went to chest and his arms around them. "I'm greatly confused at the things in my head and how much fate is twisting me around for some past purpose, but I know this...your coming today and all you did for me says more about you than you think. You thought you were there because I needed you, but it tells about you." Solemn brown met brown after a pause. "I apologize for all the hurtful words I said to cause you pain simply because I hurt as well. I was wrong to take that out on you and I know that. I forgot what made me fall in love with you in the first place, but I won't anymore. I still want you by my side...if you'll agree to be there."

Tears lined her eyes and the barest of smiles graced her face. His words touched her so much and the pain he caused by being spiteful and hateful days ago disappeared as if it were never there. She beamed and launched herself at him, arms going around him. "Yes, yes, yes...I accept." She whispered, face burying against his neck. "I hold no grudge for what you did – I understand and there's nothing to apologize for."

He pulled her away and held her at arm's length. "Irregardless...I won't be able to forgive myself until you do."

She smiled and leaned forward to gently kiss him. "Then I forgive you for your transgressions."

He nodded and shifted to spoon her body. "Will you still be here for the rest?"

"I'll be here as long as you need me."

If it wasn't the priest's job to say prayers for the deceased, he was betting the old man was getting annoyed at having to keep doing so many for one person. As if there weren't enough from the few people who came to the funeral, the houshi was asked to make a quick stop with them at the gravesite and put a few well wishes for being comfortable in hisobosan's new location.

On the headstone was the given name upon hisobosan's birth, and the name given at the funeral to keep her from returning. He knew what it was like to have a soul show up when it wasn't supposed to and made sure not to jinx her luck at getting reincarnated if that's what she desired. It would be hard not to think of her given name though, but he would try.

He stood with a rosary in one hand. He kept reading the names, not feeling the wind of such a rain-threatening day. He was glad it was crappy outside because he was sick of the cloudless, sunny days. For once, the world mirrored his emotions.

One by one, the others turned and moved to pay attention and a few prayers to other relatives in the small family plot. Like the wake, he couldn't move again, but finality was there. He felt it...and was hell-bent on ignoring it too.

'I'm never going to be able to look at another pair of chopsticks again...' He gave a mental snort.

Picking apart bones from her ashes wasn't the best thing in the world and he had a feeling his appetite was going to be gone for quite a while thanks to that. He would be rather unsettled about traditional eating. Why couldn't the cremator do that? Sure the family had rights to separate what they wanted to keep – if anything – but he didn't feel right through the whole thing.

It couldn't be helped though. It was the least he could do, given how much was done for him in his life. He didn't have the right to be selfish and queasy when thinking of the favors granted at home and work.

He blinked at the lightest of touches to an arm. The feel of mild suffocation as it was entwined with another arm made him want to pull away, but Kagome's smell came and relaxed him a little. "Inaki...your family is all heading back to the car. Shouldn't you say something to your great, great grandparents and go too?"

Brown shifted to two other graves, teeth biting lip. Walking home was no problem, but he didn't have the enthusiasm to do so. He needed to take care of the issue not resolved, but there was only listlessness. He just wanted to lie on his bed and stare at the ceiling, maybe with some sad or depressing music.

He didn't want to move forward when hisobosan was just in her grave. It seemed disrespectful to not take time out and think of her, at least for a little while after. Inuyasha had plenty of time to sit in his head and wait – at least until he was dead – so there was no rush. But a promise was a promise and he did say when things were done and over he would do his part.

Inuyasha wasn't known for being very patient either.

He nodded and turned, pulling Kalie close and inhaling her scent. "Aa...ikimasu. We have...other things to attend to anyway."

She gave a small nod and gently squeezed his arm. There was a distant rumbling of thunder and two pairs of brown looked to clouds. "We'd better hurry if we're to find a place for it. Don't want to be caught in the rain."

He suddenly smiled and leaned close to her face. "I recall last time you said that, you gave in too." She blushed and he gave a quick kiss. He turned to the two graves and stared at them for a second, giving a slow bow with his head. "Let's hurry." The pair jogged until spotting the others waving them over. "Sorry I took so long." He mumbled, shifting to the middle of the backseat. He pulled Kalie onto his lap, much to her protest, to make room and looked to his mother.

Kristine waved him off and started the engine. "Ii desu. We understand."

Halfway home presented a problem. There was nee-chan, okaasan, otousan, obaasan, ojiisan, and hisofusan to get around for that damn jewel. It just HAD to be right in the middle of one of the busiest rooms! 'Chikushou! How the hell are we going to get it without anyone knowing??' He glared at the back of a front seat, unable to think of anything that wouldn't make his family suspicious.

The only time was extremely late and he didn't think Inuyasha would wait that long. He didn't want to either really...there was an urge to do this now and get it over with. "Kuso..." He inaudibly grit.

Brown whipped to him, brow furrowing at his disgruntled appearance. "Nani wa..."

He startled and looked around. "Ah, it's nothing. Nothing important." He pulled her ear to him and felt her shiver. A smile tipped his lips, but he abandoned that for this issue. "We have a problem and I'll tell you when we can."

It took the safety of the dojo before anything could be said. "You make it sound horrible. I was worried!" She immediately retorted, glaring.

"This IS bad – how the fuck are we going to get the shikon from the kitchen with everybody walking over it??" He growled mildly Inuyasha-like and started pacing, hands gripping unbound hair. "We'd have to wait until they went to bed and even then one of them would wonder why we were up so late. And won't they ask why you're still here with everything over? If we don't do this now, I don't know when your time will allow a break!"

"Calm down! Let's think here..."

He heaved a sigh and plopped down, sitting in Inuyasha's cross-legged position and bracing hands on knees. Brown bore into the floorboards. "This is useless..." He muttered after a second. Hands slapped his face as he fell backward and banged his head on the boards. "We just need a minute but I don't know how we'd find one."

"Mou – don't be so impatient!"

He was surprised when she suddenly rested over him, arms propping up by his head for balance. She looked frustrated at his actions, but he disregarded that for the feel of their hips. His heart skipped a beat as he stared, getting a confused glance. He used her wonder to his advantage and pulled her down, getting a squeak before his lips cut her off.

Arms wrapped around her with a sigh and pressed her against his chest. She shuddered and used the surge of emotion to kiss him back. Who broke apart after whatever amount of time was unknown, but the smell of rain was apparent. "Should we be thinking like this now?" She gasped, trying to breathe with him nuzzling her neck.

"Maybe not...seems a bit morbid doesn't it? Plus we have better things to do... Still haven't gotten our question answered."

"At any rate, let me up so I can think."

He grinned and squeezed her again. "Oh? What makes you think I WANT to let you up?"

"Mou Inaki! Now's not the time!" She argued, slapping his chest. He cringed, but relented and she slid off him and slid a few inches to keep that from happening.

'Just what was I thinking anyway??' A blush started spreading and she looked to the open doorway in unease. 'I saw him like that and something told me to move.' A brow ticked in annoyance. 'Has it really been that long? Che...no willpower whatsoever.'

A form suddenly appeared in the doorway, umbrella in hand. "Ototo, everyone is talking of whether or not to reopen the store for a bit."

They sat up, eyes wide. "Seriously??" He asked, head tilting. "Who's all going?"

He resisted the urge to cheer. 'Ha! This might be the chance we need!'

"Obaasan and otousan were thinking of getting some cleaning done and okaasan will come and make lunch to bring over to them when it's time. Hisofusan is taking a nap and ojiisan is thinking of going to look over records. He might be handling more of the business now...now that..."

He nodded to cut Jayden off. "Wakarimashita." A hand went to his chin in thought. "I don't feel like work now... Are you going?"

Jayden's head shook. "I don't feel like it either. I can watch over hisofusan if he needs anything, so I opted to stay."

Well that was half the family out of the way. All he needed was to send Jayden into another room for even a minute and grab the tama. He stood and offered a hand to Kalie. "We'll head in with you since I don't have an umbrella." He looked to brown and gave a wink. "Feel like...watching the rain?"

She stared for a second before winking back. "How romantic of you."

"That's me – pure sap."

Jayden's eyes rolled as she pulled away enough for them to exit. "You're something, but I don't know what yet."

"Keh!" A hand slapped over his mouth and he glared at Kalie when muted giggling met his ears.

"G – go – gomen." She managed, futilely trying to keep quiet. "Really, I'm not laughing AT you..."

A hand shot out and attacked her sides. "So you say! I think you enjoy seeing me in misery, don't you??"

She batted away his hands, unable to get away unless she left dry shelter. Jayden almost got in the line of fire, but was fast enough to dodge. "Y – yamero!" She squeaked, finally giving up. Her feet were getting wet and so were her legs from the rain, what was the rest? She took off for the patio door with him on her heels.

"No getting water on the tatami!" He playfully ordered, pouring on speed. He couldn't help but grin as he grabbed her from behind and hoisted her into the air. He felt her laughter against his arms and breathed her scent, feeling a little calmer.

"You two are too sweet for my tastes." Jayden quipped, heading inside. "No point in giving you the umbrella, so I'll get a few towels and let you dry off."

He leapt to attention and quickly put Kalie down. "Now's our chance!" He hissed. He practically shoved her up the steps and made her fall.

"Chotto!"

"Hurry up – don't want to get wet." He stared at her with a look that tried to speak his plans and not get caught. Seeing Jayden was inside, he shooed her forward and hopped the steps after. "Get on the tile." He shucked off his shoes and ignoring her odd looks. "Good she's not here. We have little time to find it." He hissed, dropping to the ground and tapping.

"Let me, I'll find it faster."

"You've seen it once – you're as good as me."

"I can sense it remember? Your foot is right over it."

He shuffled back and pried the cover off. The wood box shone itself and he pried that off as well, grabbing the dull ball. "Gotcha." He shoved it in a pocket and quickly tapped everything back down. He shot to his feet, casting a wary look around, seeing things were still clear. "Yosh...let's head back." He pulled Kalie up and pushed her to the door. "Nee-chan, we're going to head back out! Don't worry about those towels!"

"Eh?? Wait, where are you going??"

"Not far! Don't go out in case hisofusan wakes up!" He shut the patio and yanked her at full speed for the dojo. He practically slammed it closed and looked around for something to bar it with – just in case.

"Oi, I think we're safe Inaki." She dryly reported. She made to wring out her hair but saw her clothes were as bad. She sighed and stared at the open crack, worrying about what would come in. It started coming down faster now. "We should've gotten those towels."

"It's just rain." He muttered, straightening his sandals.

"But I don't want to get it all over the floor. It'll warp the boards."

"Worry about it later." A hand went and pulled the marble out, sitting down near the entrance. "Oi, you awake shikon?" His hand shook the thing as if to activate it. "I've got some questions and so does he – you owe us both answers to why you fucked with our lives like that."

"Inaki! Don't talk to the shikon like that!" She admonished, sitting next to him. "Have some respect for midoriko-sama."

"This thing has been the bane of my existence since before I was born. I don't need to be anything to it."

"Give me that!" She snatched it from his hand and felt a weak pulse. It was so strange to hold it again with the use of her powers – though those were in need of some serious fine-tuning – and feel how small its conscious was. Brown stared at it as if seeing it for the first time before able to get over her awe. She shook everything away to concentrate and locate who they were trying to contact. "Ano...Midoriko-sama?"

**_:I am here child.:_**

She jumped and the ball nearly skittered across the floor. Taking a deep breath at the soothing voice in her head, wishing she would be over that whole thing, she cast a glance from the ball to irritated brown. "There are many questions we have. Is it okay to ask them?"

"I can't hear anything. Is it working yet??"

She looked up and blinked at him. "Of course it is – can't you feel anything?"

"All I can feel is power and it's making my skin itch. Why is it doing that?" Teeth bit lip for a second as something unconscious rose. She questioned it only a little, fingers curling in unsurety, before reaching out and grasping his wrist. "What are you doing??"

**_:You have questions for me as well Inuyasha?:_**

He didn't have time to be surprised at the voice. There was an intense annoyance, more than his own, which surfaced and his face contorted. It was strange to be in control and feel his face change on its own. "**Oi Midoriko, you didn't grant my wish! What the fuck did you do to us?!"**

She blinked. "I – Inuyasha?"

Brown met brown and some anger left. Inuyasha bobbed his head. "**Kagome..."**

A hand went up and slapped himself. "Oi! Knock it off Inuyasha! That's annoying!"

**"Fuck you! I'll do what I please while I have this fucking miko to straighten things out. Don't forget our agreement too."**

He sobered and stared at the ball.

She smiled and brought a hand up to brush his skin, trying to ease his discomfort. "It's a little freaky hearing the two of you talk from the same body you know." A wicked grin appeared. "If I was a horrible person, I'd be picking on you for this right now."

**"Keh! Try it bitch and I'll make you regret it!"**

"Damn it Inuyasha, be nice to Kalie!"

She giggled, unable to keep it in. She got an irritated look but it didn't help the irony of it all. "Anyway..." She took a deep breath and concentrated again, looking to her palm. "Midoriko-sama, can you tell us why I was born with only Kikyou's soul and why Inaki is like this now? Why did Kagome and Inuyasha become separate parts of our minds if we're supposed to be them?"

**_:In the last battle with Naraku, Kikyou was killed, but the soul never combined with Kagome's. It disappeared and started drifting to hell until Kagome's soul was killed. The two called to each other and stuck together, but still did not combine. Kikyou's and Kagome's minds were too jagged to ever think alike enough to merge. Kagome intensely thought of her life as separate and Kikyou held strong dislike for the counterpart who had everything she didn't.:_**

**"That doesn't make any damn sense as to how the wish and those two parts matter!"**

"Inuyasha, be quiet for a bit and let her talk."

**_:If the souls were not combined, good would have gone to heaven and bad to hell. Once separated, they were two recognizable essences that only magic could fix. With both awake at one time, one would have to sleep again, but neither would have. It was possible to wish the souls to be one, but there would have been a split in consciousness. Only miko and houshi, who have knowledge of life after death, can understand the workings and ways. If Kagome was trained enough, she would have been able to keep Kikyou's soul from drifting to hell and complete herself...provided Kikyou no longer bared her any ill-will.:_**

"I understand all that. But like Inuyasha said, how does Kikyou and Kagome's minds being apart in me affect what the wish was?"

**_:After Inuyasha gained possession, his heart was torn over Kagome's death. He felt useless as a hanyou and angry at his powers. His mental state at the time of the wish was chaotic. He cursed being who he was more than normal and a part of him figured it would be no worse to be human, since Kagome still died.:_**

-----

_"You want a wish?! Fine! I wish I could be with Kagome and not have to deal with the pain of losing her! I wasn't strong or fast enough as a hanyou, so what good does it do me?? Shit, I might as well be human for all the good my youkai blood did!" The ball glowed the brightest pink he ever saw and eyes squeezed shut against it. "What the hell are you doing??" Gold peeked open and found the tombstone gone and his entire surroundings with it. Everything in front of him was pink. "What the fuck - where am I?! What the hell did you do to me??"_

**_:I am granting your wish. If you do not mind waiting a little to see your beloved again.:_**

_"I slept for fifty years before I saw Kagome and it's been days already. I waited for her enough as it is; if I get to see her again I'd wait as long as it takes."_

-----

Tears lined her eyes as the memory and pain faded. Teeth bit her lip to try and keep her chin from wobbling and failed. "In...Inuyasha..."

There was a very subdued look on Inaki's face and raven shadowed eyes. After a bit, Inaki's head rose, but by the look she got, Inaki was not in charge. **"S – suman...Kagome..." **His free hand took hers, able to see the memory as well with direct connection to her and the ball. It speared like Sesshoumaru's poison, but cut worse than any sword. **"I can understand if you'd never forgive me for what I did...the pain I caused your family –"**

Her hand let go of his and rose to caress a cheek. "Daijoubu. You did everything you could. There's nothing to forgive. I knew what would happen if I didn't move out of the way." Her face lowered, bangs covering eyes. "I'm the one who should hope you can forgive me for putting you through so much pain."

**"Keh! Stupid bitch! Don't blame yourself for that!"** Inuyasha took a little more mobile control and grasped the wrist near his face. **"If anything, it should be me apologizing for keeping you in the Sengoku when you were safer in your time. If I knew that's how things would've turned out, I'd have done more to seal you in your time than I did."**

She nearly bristled and gently slapped cheek. "I would DEFINITELY not have forgiven you if you did that! It was my responsibility to collect the shikon, to keep it from making your time worse than it was."

There was a sudden jerk and rapid blink before a look of total exasperation came. "Uh, if you two are DONE? We have an all-powerful entity to get some serious answers for screwing up four sets of lives here. I don't know about you, but I for one would like to get some of those answers!"

She blinked and flushed. "Ah...gomen Inaki." Brown quickly looked to the jewel. She knew he took it personally when she talked to Inuyasha and so intimately, especially after telling exactly how he felt about her. It was as bad as when Inuyasha talked to Kikyou with her near. "I understand how the soul split in my body...but you're saying simply because Inuyasha was so at odds with himself, it caused his mind to split too?? How can that be if he is one person?"

**_:Inuyasha has one mind and three bodies. His emotions and mind change a little in each form. He goes on instinct most when youkai, emotions while human, and fights both in hanyou form. The fact that he was at such odds with himself when he made the wish, instead of thinking exactly what he wanted, left it open. It was easy to misread what he wanted.:_**

**"Yea you certainly did a fine job of that!"**

"Inuyasha! If you don't stop being so disrespectful, I won't let you listen in!" There was a pathetic attempt at a threatening growl and she smiled. "Midoriko-sama, there is something about the memory you showed that bothers me. What did you do to Inuyasha, and why were we born so far into the future?"

**_:Inuyasha said he wanted to be with you without worrying about the pain of losing you. In your time there is stronger magic than this era. As you know, magic gets weaker the less it is believed. I assume you can feel only threads of it.:_**

She nodded. "Does this mean there are no more youkai or hanyou?"

**_:Any still in existence will be too old to put up any kind of fight. Inuyasha was worried about losing you. In Kagome's time, youkai were still around and your possession of such power was an attraction. There would never be a safe moment for you – for either of you. At the time he made the wish, Inuyasha practically gave up on his life. It was a matter of separating the body and soul to do as he asked. I brought you and Inuyasha a hundred years to weaken the magic. It was a simple task of locating your soul and merging a little more with his to help you find other in this rebirth.:_**

"Wait – a little MORE?" She stared, an odd look slowly forming. "That's one thing Kagome kept telling me that annoyed me. She never explained and always said to talk to you."

"Hey, Inuyasha said the same thing to me." He piped up, staring wide-eyed. Two pairs of brown met the shikon. "What exactly did you do to our souls??"

**_:During Kikyou's possession, her love for Inuyasha and to live together slowly took form. With her will always nearby, the wish unknowingly seeped into the shikon the more Kikyou honed it to be exactly as she wanted. Before the hate, she wanted to be with Inuyasha and practically made the wish, but never voiced anything. It was still strong enough to activate some magic and I acted accordingly to the phantom properties given. Kikyou's need to be with Inuyasha caused her soul to be reborn, so I did the to them as with Kagome and Inuyasha – I took a little of their souls and exchanged them.:_**

**"Nanda to?! What the fuck do you mean by that?? You gave me part of Kikyou's soul?!"**

"Inuyasha, calm down please."

**_:In order for souls to find each other, there must be parts for recognition - a beacon if you will. Having the shikon allowed Kagome to skip time to see Inuyasha, the unknown urge of Kikyou. Giving part of Inuyasha's soul to Kikyou made her more alive, wilder if you will. Taking some of Kikyou's soul made Inuyasha more open to accepting things about humans and some of his emotions.:_**

"So what did we gain from Kagome and Inuyasha?"

**_:You gained from Inuyasha adaptation to a more isolated life and the inability to express emotions. You already had a lack from being separated from Kagome's soul – the one who had most of what you needed – but it was even harder to speak the remainder. Inaki gained from Kagome congeniality and better fortune in life. There are a lot of little things as well I am sure you two can spot.:_**

"So what am I supposed to do with this annoyance in my head?"

**"Hey!"**

"You are and you know it!"

**"Don't make me take control you asshole!"**

"Bite me."

"BOYS!" She nearly yelled. A hand rose and knocked him on the head. "Stop being so immature – we're not quite finished yet."

**_:Kagome and Kikyou have already been accepted and merged with the most recent incarnation. Since it is practically the same with Inaki, there would be the same merging of minds into one body.:_**

"I don't want him in my head until I die!" He protested. "I'm better off without and he's been nothing but a pain in my ass in more ways than one!"

**_:Regardless of the condition of your life compared to Inuyasha's, you are still two halves of one whole. His personality would mold and blend with yours. Right now you are almost his exact opposite, so what he lacks, you would make up for.:_**

"But I don't lack anything that I need from him."

**_:There are small pieces which are unseen in your mind that will be filled in. You may not think they exist, but they are there because Inuyasha is.:_**

He was silent, pulling his hand from hers and leaning back. "So it is true..." His shoulders slumped.

Her heart went out to him, knowing what it was like. He was fighting it worse than she did. Whether it would be worse she didn't know, but that was the problem...none of them knew what Inuyasha would do to Inaki's mind. "Midoriko-sama, is that the answer to his problem?"

**_:If Inaki wishes to stop the split in his mind, he has to accept Inuyasha. It will not be all bad. You are example of that.:_**

She slowly nodded. "One other question I had. Why do I have Kagome and Kikyou's powers when Inaki seems to be totally human? Are there no traits as a hanyou or youkai he could pick up?"

**_:Kikyou was born with substantial holy powers. Those powers imprinted themselves to her soul and thus Kagome was born with them. As Kikyou's half, you had them as well, but never knew they were there or how to use them. Your acceptance of Kagome merely woke them and took Kagome's powers as well. You must develop them again, but in time they will be very strong. Inuyasha, on the other hand, had three separate forms. During his human cycle, he had no jyaki...during his youkai times, he had no emotions. He was born into his human form from the wish and recognizing Inuyasha will not change it.:_**

"But during the time when Kagome started awakening, I could see her form in the mirror and Inaki said he could see Inuyasha. What does that mean?"

**_:Mirrors are simply a reflection of the self. Unless the same ritual that separated Kagome and Kikyou could be performed again, a presence will show itself however it can. It cannot escape the confines of a mind, so will manifest however it can.:_**

Brown rolled. "Yea, I know all about THAT one..." She looked up to find Inaki watching her and gave a gentle smile, holding a palm out. "Is there anything else you'd like to ask?"

"Yea, actually there are a few things." Flesh connected and a small ripple of power made his flesh bump. "Midoriko, why didn't we remember anything when we were old enough to reason on our own and seek each other out? Why did it take a trigger to our reincarnations for all this to happen and drastically change who we are?"

**_:Each soul is a clean slate upon its death and takes nothing with it to the next life. That is why Kagome remembered nothing of Kikyou, why she was confused at her miko powers, why she fell in love with Inuyasha again, why she knew nothing of Kikyou's time, and remembered nothing about Kikyou's death until told. It is the same with both of you. Kagome and Inuyasha are a part of you and hold the key to the wish, the memories, and your remaining selves.:_**

"So why are you still here? You made the wish and Kikyou said to Inuyasha that you might disappear. Was she wrong?"

**_:When the power of the shikon is used for good, the tides shift. Power of the youkai is harnessed with mine and I am the one who decides. It is the other way around if a wish is made from an evil mind. When all that power is exhausted, there will be no more shikon no tama. But because the wish was basically half created, there were issues to be resolved. Inuyasha wished to be with Kagome, but you two did not remember anything and your minds were cracked. You are not yet Kagome and Inuyasha - for the wish to be completed, your reincarnations must be a part of yourselves.:_**

"Personally, I like my life the way it is. I don't give a damn about some past self. He had his life and I've got mine."

**"Are we back to THIS again?? How many times am I going to keep telling you? You heard it from me, from Kagome, and from the miko. Stop denying yourself and just accept it!"**

"Inuyasha...is right you know." She mumbled, looking away. She ignored the surprise and small feel of betrayal. It took a lot of courage to look him in the eye and not feel like Kagome trying to sneak Inuyasha in. "I don't know what you'll gain by becoming one with Inuyasha, but I gained a lot. The difference is so overwhelming and I can't believe everything Kagome kept. All I had after all other souls were taken away was Kikyou's love and hatred for Inuyasha and the thread of humanity she gained when brought back. That's not a life to live. I don't know what to tell you to make you understand and not think Kagome is talking. I'm those others, but I'm myself. If you know who you are, you'll transition smoothly." A hand went through bangs. "It's – it's hard to describe. You just have to have a leap of faith."

He was silent for what seemed the longest time. "I can see a little of what you're saying, but I still reject some. It is too much to believe without knowing what'll happen. His presence is strong, he could overpower me."

**"You promised me if things got answered and I was right, you would stop this shit. And who was right??"**

"This is my life!!" He shouted, jumping to his feet. "If you think I'll share the only thing that I truly have you're off your rocker!" There was an angry pulse and freeze of muscle that made him wary. Teeth grit as he tried to force his arms and legs to move. "No...you don't..."

"Inaki? What's wrong??"

**"You...fucking PROMISED me! You never go back...on a promise!"**

"You made the arrangements...not me. Let go of my body!"

**"No."** There was a sudden boneless thump and all was still for a few seconds before brown peeked open. **"Keh, what a weakling."**

"Inuyasha! What did you do that to Inaki for?!"

Inuyasha sat up and brushed the restricting clothes to shape. **"He got what he deserved." **He muttered, moving to plop in normal sitting position. Hand grabbed wrist and held up the shikon, brown peering close. **"Oi, how do I get this whole merge-thing done before he wakes up? You said so yourself we're two halves and whatnot. Just merge us now before I get shoved back again."**

"Mou Inuyasha..."

**_:You will not be able to merge by force. As I said with Kagome and Kikyou's souls...if there was a wish made to connect them and the minds did not agree, there would be chaos. I cannot merge you – you have to find peace between yourselves and do so.:_**

**"Fucking lot of good YOU are!" **The hand threw her wrist away and got up to pace. **"This is perfect! I'll NEVER find any kind of calm with that asshole hogging the body. Gods, why can't he just suck it up and realize the truth?!"**

Never had there been a time when she wanted to sit him so bad. Anger burned as she shot to feet and eyed him. "Inuyasha..." She effectively gained his attention and momentary panic at the tone used to subdue him with. It took a second to realize there was no rosary, but that was all she needed. She stalked over and a hand whipped out to slap him right across the face.

**"What the fuck was that for?! Damn it Kagome, I'm doing this for you here!"**

"I'm KALIE!" She fiercely announced, fists clenching. "I may have Kagome AND Kikyou's memories and emotions, but they are also separate from my own."

**"Oh gods are we back to THIS bullshit again?? Are you going to be blind to everything explained to you too? You're smarter than that, no matter what name you get."**

She bristled and glared, wishing to do him harm without injuring Inaki. "You're the asshole you know..." She grit. "I can see where Inaki is coming from because I didn't want Kagome either, but I realized she had half of my emotions. I had no choice, but Inaki DOES. IF you have any qualities that benefit him, right now I'm not seeing them. I only see a pompous ass who's being too greedy over a lost love to realize maybe his time is up!"

Inuyasha took a step back, eyes hurt before bangs covered them. **"Y – you don't...mean that..."**

The wounded puppy look got to her, as it always did to Kagome, and she found herself caving a little. Heaving a deep sigh, she took a few steps back and unclenched her hands. She stared at the shikon for a while, feeling its soothing presence, and tried to pull off that. After tense silence, tired brown closed. "This is not doing you any good you know." She quietly replied. "You're just going around in circles with half of you that is equally stubborn. You're entitled to finish the life you had with Kagome, but Kagome will never be as you imagine her. All you have left is me and I know that's not what you want. I can't give you who I was as much as you can't give me who you would be if you two combine. For peace of mind – figuratively and literally – it's best you two go through things as I did and try to find what you can gain from it. No arguing; just civilized."

Brown opened and stared at solemn brown. She received a small nod before the body suddenly dropped again. She startled and rushed over, fearing the amount of bruising he would have, and pulled his head to her lap. Teeth bit her lip as she checked his pulse, finding it steady. 'Yokatta...'

A hand slowly rested over hers and she entwined their fingers, giving a look of concern. "Inaki?"

"That guy is...such a prick..." He grimaced, gently feeling his head. "Gods I'm going to be sore tomorrow. Nice way of explaining THIS to the family."

She smiled and brushed fingers over his forehead to make him forget the pain a little. "Did you hear anything?"

"Yea... You're right, but I don't know how much will get accomplished."

She leaned down to give him a peck before helping him up. "He let you back didn't he? That's a start." Brown turned to search for the shikon dropped in her haste. She swiped it before heading for the doors. "I think we're done here...unless you have something else to add?"

Inaki opened his mouth and paused. Thoughtful brown looked to floorboards for a second. "Whatever happened to Miroku and Sango? Are they reincarnated too?"

**_:You did not wish for them to be with you, so if they are alive, it is of their own power. I can see if the houshi or taiji-ya are present, but it is unlikely they are near.:_**

Her brow furrowed. "You sound so sure...why do you say that?"

They were some of the only friends Inuyasha had, but with emotions coming from the other he felt them as if they were his. Bangs shadowed eyes as the thought of never being able to see them in this plane occurred. "They won't be here." He muttered.

"Why not?"

Grave brown looked into brown. "Sango has no need to think of reincarnation and Miroku wouldn't go without her. If he had any worldly desires – and I'm sure there were some – he would gladly give them up. If they went to heaven, they'll stay there with all their children and family. They have no need to be with us."

Friendship spurred while in the Sengoku was a thing to cherish and it was something Kagome always worried about the later it got in the quest. Not being able to see such beloved people perturbed Kagome then and it ate at her now. Teeth bit lip as she blinked back tears.

It was a stupid thought to think they'd be reincarnated. Maybe they didn't want to be reborn, but it would've been nice to see them again.

"At least answer me this...because the curiosity at those two is getting to me." She muttered, trying to keep from feeling sadness. "Inuyasha...did those two ever get married? Were they happy after - after Kagome..."

Inaki's head dipped for a second before it nodded. **"Aa. They got married not long after the final battle. They hung around babaa's village for the ceremony."** A faint, wistful smile appeared. **"Kaede performed the rites and those two insisted I was there. Sango wanted to rebuild her village and I walked a few miles with those two, but I didn't go with. I didn't want to get in the way."**

She could hear oppression in his voice. She reached out and touched a hand, gently squeezing. "I'm sure they wouldn't have minded having you helping, but...do you think they – they stayed together? Miroku-sama had a horrible way with women, but I do know he loved Sango-chan."

**"Keh! That bouzu was a lech...but I know he wouldn't dare do anything. He had no need for the whole 'bear my child' crap when he had Sango to do that and no Kazaana to worry about. Those two probably drove each other crazy until they died and gave their kids some peace."**

She smiled at the minute fondness in his voice, even if his words were tactless as always. She gave a faint nod, still feeling empty at the mention of her friends, before opening shoji. "Ah, well, we need to be getting inside before anything happens. Inuyasha, you remember what I said."

**"Keh!"**

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Che-Like Kuso only a little less harsh Wakarimashita-Understood Chotto-(Wait) one second Suman-Forgive me/I'm sorry


	65. Ch 65

It was kind of funny to wake up with the dawn, considering he just recovered from lack of sleep in the forest and Inuyasha's memories haunted him all night. He went to bed after dinner and seeing Kalie off, but his mind was too clouded. He stared at the wall for a long time, feeling angry, depressed, frustrated, and definite self-pity. Inuyasha bitched him out for the pity act, but that only got the hanyou shoved into a dark corner for ignorance.

He didn't want to get up this early and made an effort to fall asleep, but it was useless. Inuyasha's sleep habits somehow rubbed off. He sat up with a sigh and put out look on his face.

Brown looked to the sleeping form across the way and longing speared him. He wasn't able to say a word to anyone – even Jayden. He didn't know how they'd react and what they'd do; that unknown and fear was a powerful thing. The elders would be the best to go to because they took to more tradition and Buddhism than Jayden or his parents.

It was a hard thing to decide. He didn't know how to approach the subject and give a good explanation without them thinking it was stress from hisobosan or he was half-awake. He threw the covers aside. 'What to do...' He stopped in the bathroom and splashed water on his face, finding his hanyou form in Sengoku clothes upon looking up. Again. 'Nani?'

Gold rolled and he felt mild annoyance. ** Does it take you this long to decide EVERYTHING?**

He was too sluggish right now to be angry and bypassed the vision to dry his face. 'We're talking about the rest of my LIFE here. Not something I want to do without serious thought.'

**I gave you plenty of time for that!**

'Beg to differ.' He grumbled, flicking the light off. He suddenly stopped and stared at the wall. Why was he going about his routines and life as if part of his past self was an everyday occurrence?? He was acting like Inuyasha was a houseguest who wouldn't leave or some kind of fly to ignore. With a small growl, annoyed for taking everything so lightly, he stalked to the kitchen for some tea.

**You're such a whiner. This is not that big a deal.**

Canister slammed on counter and he grimaced at the outburst. Brown peeked to the bedrooms, but not even okaasan was up. He glowered and made for an infuser. 'You can't tell me that because not only are you on the opposite side of the fence, but you've never had such ties to a world! I've seen your memories same as you've seen mind...have a little respect for such an earth-shattering change in my life.'

**...You are SO blowing this out of proportion.**

Nails dug into skin and his other hand grabbed wrist to keep from hitting it on the counter. 'I'd essentially be two people with separate personalities!! Don't fucking tell me I'm blowing this out of proportion when you told me you don't need my family! How am I to know you don't say screw them and ignore them for Kal – Kago – for HER!'

**You heard the shikon...we compliment each other. I'll fill in what you lack and visa versa.**

He gave the water heater a dry look as it filled. 'Somehow I HIGHLY doubt we compliment each other.'

A growl sounded and frustration almost took him aback. **Look! If you go through every like, dislike, hobby, and every fucking MOVEMENT, you'll see me! Look past our face, shape of body, and hair – which you'll see is the fucking same – and if you can't find anything I'll root through your memories and TELL you!**

He forced himself not to shrink back at the lecture and plugged in the appliance to heat. Arms crossed as he stared at the general vicinity of the shikon. 'How far back am I supposed to look and are you going to hound me the whole time?'

**As much as you can and not as long as you don't procrastinate.**

He smirked despite anger, feeling a little spiteful. 'Where'd a hanyou like you learn a big word like that?'

**Fuck you!! Stop being such a god damned prick and –**

He cut the voice off by conveniently shoving it to the corner of his mind and poured his tea. He yanked plug from wall, slipped into a pair of zouri, and headed to the back engawa. The chill of winter made him shiver, but was nicely offset by the steaming mug. Dusk was rapidly getting chased away and he leaned over the rail. He didn't have many memories of sunrises...usually he slept right through till daylight shone in his face.

How long was he supposed to go through and search? All the way to his toddler days? Not much recognition there, but what he had he didn't particularly like. He was too timid a child, feeling very much like he was an outcast.

_Darkness arrived, but with the many lanterns dotting the area, one wouldn't know the sky disappeared. It was pretty, casting shadows among faces and along the engawa. He looked around in innocent fascination, a smile tilting his lips, feeling content to watch people move around and the light change their form._

_Curiosity peaked when a sense of mute excitement filled the air and a small handful gathered together. Some stopped their conversations and watched the group as a ball was produced._

_There was no great mystery involved in what the group was doing; they were simply playing catch with it. But it seemed so fun and without thinking he headed from his solitary spot at the edge of the small garden to play._

_He knew not asking to join was very rude, but the thought of being apart of the little group and of the excitement was too enticing and he forgot a lot of his manners. The place practically stopped and enthusiasm turned to polite distaste as he stopped in front of the man who had the ball and extended his hands to hold it._

_A few laughed behind the sleeves of their robes. He ignored them and looked way up into the man's eyes, unable to grab the ball with such short stature. The man didn't say anything, but the look was proof enough that the disruption was frowned on._

_The ball tossed a few times to each hand before the man gave it a wayward throw into a section of the garden. He mentally wondered why the man threw it from the circle and ran after to catch it. He followed it over a bridge and was thankful it didn't drop in the stream, as he didn't want to get clothes wet. He snatched the object from its rolling walk and, feeling proud of himself, turned to hold it up to the group._

_Only then did he notice they all turned in silent ignorance and were already walking off to a different area._

_He was too confused at why they wanted to stop such entertainment and didn't follow to give the ball back in case someone would want it later. His ears perked up at the words they muttered to one another, brow furrowing at one that didn't quite make his building vocabulary._

_The wind shifted and a heavenly smell of expensive perfume caught his nose and he whipped to it. He dropped the ball and ran to her; arms extended for a hug and lightly clutched the folds of her robes. "Hahaue! Hanyou wa nani?"_

-----

_"Okaasan...I don't want to go to school today..."_

_"But Inaki, there's nothing horrible about it. I'll bring you there and make sure you get situated. Don't worry; I'll be waiting for you when you get out."_

_Youthful brown looked up, ignoring the mothering hand running through his hair. A hand gripped her shirt from his place in her arms. "But...okaasan...I don't like it there." Sadness surrounded him and he snuggled to find comfort to battle it. "I feel...icky."_

_A brow rose and a hand moved to get his attention. He looked into wise eyes tinged with concern. "Icky? How so? Doing what?"_

_Tiny lips pouted as index fingers touched in a fidget. "Ano...well, the others...I don't like how they look at me."_

_"Do they make fun of you? You should tell us these things musuko."_

_"Ah well, not really...I just feel icky being near them."_

_"Can you put it another way so okaasan understands better? Maybe I can help you figure out why."_

_His nose scrunched up in thought as he looked to the fingers still toying with each other. He searched his little mind to find other things he heard announced and what he put with what he felt at the time. He didn't know enough words to get across what he wanted, but he'd try._

_"Bad...dirty icky...outside." He looked up for any indication those were understood. "I feel dirty icky. I don't know if anyone will play with me at recess and I'm scared to go ask. I don't want them to hate me. I feel outside everyone."_

_Arms tugged him closer and his face rested over his mother's chest, smiling at the sound of her heartbeat. Chubby arms went around her neck as he settled in to enjoy the embrace, feeling worry in how tight she was holding him._

_At length the pair sat and he shifted to face her, angling to look at her while unrelenting his hold._

_"Musuko...you're a beautiful little boy and you're just as normal as everyone else. You have no reason to fear that they won't like you. Maybe they think you don't like them because you never play with them."_

_"But - but that's not true! I want to play with them but I just get the feeling they won't want me."_

_A hand went through his hair again and a gentle smile accompanied it. "Then Inaki, why don't you go ask a group today? If anything, it'll answer the questions and you'll be sure of how you feel. I think you're just unsure because they're new people you don't know well. Hai?"_

_"Mm."_

_"Okay then. Now hurry and get dressed before you miss class."_

He snorted and stared at the sky, seeing the first rays of light. After his mother's reassurance and a quick ask, not only did he feel normal from that point on, but it was also the first meeting of the musketeers. Inuyasha's memory as a child influenced him all the way back then and he didn't even know. He thought it was him all along.

Brown glowered. 'Another aspect that's his fault. If I wasn't feeling like him when I was a kid - shit, maybe when I was born - I would've never had any of those isolation thoughts.'

That aggravated him to no end, but it was one of the many things Inuyasha influenced. If those things were supposed to 'compliment' him, he would rather take his chances with himself and half of who he was intended to be!

An unknown influence to find 'the one' turning out to be Kagome's reincarnation, uncertainty of people coming from distaste toward a different bloodline, and now the butt crack of dawn was strike three. He would keep a tally of more as he went through memories and had Inuyasha's pop up of the things he didn't want.

Only an idiot would find the good points in this situation.

He sipped almost tea lukewarm by now and paid more attention to the sky. He might as well while out here and up at such an hour. He would make sure it didn't happen again. A growing boy needed his sleep and he needed all he could to recharge his batteries against a mental battle such as this. He could deal with Inuyasha's memories during slumber if he got more of it.

He stayed rooted until the glass door slid open. The majesty passed from pinks and blues to almost every color of the rainbow and he was a little sad to be taken away, but cast it aside at seeing okaasan in the doorway. He smiled and nodded a greeting before gulping down the last of his tea.

Kristine nodded back, brow furrowing. "Musuko, what're you doing up so early? You normally sleep until woken for breakfast. Are you feeling okay?"

He stepped forward as she made to put on zouri and stopped in front of her to save her the trouble. "Aren't I allowed to wake this time of morning?" He asked, a teasing look in his eyes.

Kristine smiled and moved to allow him in. "I was just surprised. I thought, well..." A hand moved to cover a widening smile. "That we had a prowler taking a time to rest before breaking in."

He grinned and moved to the sink, gently setting cylindrical porcelain on porcelain. He leaned against the counter and watched as she shut the patio before going for the cupboards. She pulled out ingredients for breakfast and had he an inkling to help. He never got to help make breakfast that often because he was dead to the world. He helped okaasan out with other things, but this sounded like something special.

It was quiet, the sun was just peeking in through glass, and there was a sense of beauty in the way his mother looked with the stove light shining on her. He pushed away from the counter, unable to think of anything better he'd rather do. "Let me help okaasan. What're we making?"

Kristine blinked, but a soft look appeared. "I think some rice, miso soup, and a few nikumanjuu are enough for everyone."

Sounded extremely good and he moved to the bag hidden in a cupboard to start washing rice. He grabbed a few cups and set the strainer in a bowl to fill with water. It was repetitive, but it was nice and he concentrated on doing a good job instead of thinking. He rinsed the rice half a dozen times, hoping that was enough, before dumping everything in a cooker and filling that with water. He let that go before grabbing another large amount to wash.

He was content to let Inuyasha stew wherever he was for now and enjoy this feeling of normality. He had an idea it wouldn't happen once any kind of a decision was reached. How long that would take he had no clue, so he took this chance greedily.

Work seemed so mundane compared to the thoughts in his head. He couldn't believe how nostalgic it was to sweep the back room until going for the broom. He actually stared at it as if not knowing what to do before shaking his head at it all and starting in.

There was ONE benefit to having Inuyasha awake - he could now read the kanji and hiragana on store products when he made to clean and stack shelves. That was one thing he was having trouble on and only did as a hobby. The family only used written Japanese on things in the store and used the west alphabet every other time. He knew Jayden didn't know any and neither did okaasan, so it was unfair to leave them out. He begrudgingly gave that point. It was one of the things he actually wanted and Inuyasha already had that skill.

He also noticed something else when doing all the cleaning and moving around in the back. His stamina was pretty good for some of these things when before he couldn't lift as much or go for so long. But that was a given from someone who worked with a sword and got so much exercise. Even when human, there was still an inner strength to make up for the lack of hanyou power.

If he wanted to get really picky with details, he could give thanks for the face and body. The natural want to work out must have come from so much fighting from Inuyasha, and this face attracted more girls than he could count on fingers and toes many times over. He smirked and tried not to laugh. If Inuyasha was brought up properly, or as human, he would've definitely had some of the girls in his time fawning after him.

He put in a few hours while noticing little things. Aside the strength, physical features, and comprehension, he noticed the relationship with his mother was quite similar as Inuyasha's as far as depth went. Not that he wouldn't have loved okaasan regardless, but he felt like she was so very important to him at times.

This was getting him nowhere. He was reaching in spots, and almost desperately at that to acquiesce to Inuyasha's wish of finding something. To only come up with a handful of topics wasn't enough to make him agree to do this. He needed something a little more momentous than good looks and endurance. 'Yo, you there?'

**Fucking prick! Why do you keep doing that to me?!**

He grinned and stared at kanji of the shelf he was stocking. 'Because you were being annoying and I couldn't think. But I still can't find anything majorly worthwhile. You said you could go through if I couldn't. So mister wizard, tell me what I'm missing.'

There was silence for a bit, but he had a feeling it wasn't wasted. He stood to go throw cardboard boxes in the bin out back and let Inuyasha snoop. He could feel dredges of his memories being pulled from deep crevices where he stored or forgot them. It had a sensation to it, but he would never be able to name it to save his life.

He gave the boxes a careless toss and turned to go inside when the world suddenly disappeared. In its place was a playground with kids waist height running around. He stood in shock and dumbly blinked, easily picking out himself with unbound hair and a few kids loitering around.

_"Come on Inaki - just take it!"_

_"Yea! You want to look like a girl the rest of your life??"_

_"But...okaasan says there's nothing wrong with it."_

_"What does she know? She's a girl. Have you asked your dad or grandpa about what it looks like?"_

_"Ojiisan has longer than mine. Otousan keeps his in a ponytail."_

_"Bunch of sissies! Boys aren't supposed to have long hair! Now take these and cut it!"_

_The younger Inaki backed away from the older, taunting boys until coming against the high, chain-link fence surrounding the playground. "I - iyada! Leave me alone!"_

_He stared with solemn eyes. No one liked his hair as a kid. Even if the place was Japanese populated, kids were cruel and thought on a totally different level than the previous generation. Only when he reached junior high did they leave him alone. This was before he met the guys and they helped him stick up for himself._

_Here he only had himself._

_A teacher finally saw what was going on and rushed over as one tried to grab his arm and hold him still while the other moved in for the kill._

He was too embarrassed to look anymore and when he turned away, the back alley greeted him. He blinked again and shook himself from emotions evoked by that less-than-pleasant remembrance.

**If you had my confidence when you were that age, you could've defended yourself from them.**

He startled a little before heading back inside. 'I had no need in beating them up.'

**Keh. Didn't mean it like that. You could've at least asserted yourself better.**

'May be, but now I'm pretty assertive so that doesn't do you any good.'

**We'll see.**

Brown narrowed at the almost patronizing tone, irritation boiling. He grabbed a broom to go sweep the front with, seeing nothing else to do, and gripped it harder than intended. 'If you're going to make a point, make it in this DECADE at least. I am no longer that shy, pushover of a kid. You'll have to find something with actual bearing.'

Inuyasha was silent, and there was that feeling of rooting through his head again.

Just as he made to push the door open, the place disappeared again.

_"Come on Cam...didn't I tell you a while ago to have FAITH in me??"_

_"You've told me that from practically the BEGINNING Yamoi Inaki...but it's HARD to have faith in your boyfriend when you find he's in a city forty miles out of his way to visit a GIRL! How many times have you done this??"_

_"I just visited her this once! It was her BIRTHDAY! Are you going to tell me that I shouldn't do that for a friend?? She was happy I stopped by!"_

_"How come you've never TALKED about her?? Huh?? Do you trust me so little that you wouldn't tell about one of your other friends?? Even female?"_

_"Kalie is just an aspect of my life I kept from everyone because it was my own little thing, you know? I don't need to tell you and the guys EVERYTHING. It's not about trust...there's just some things I don't feel like sharing all the time. I'm sure you have a few things YOU keep from ME..."_

_"So...then what you're saying is...you don't want to talk to me about her. How many other little aspects of your life do you 'not feel like sharing' with me? Or worse...how many other female friends do you have that you're writing to?"_

**Gods, why didn't you just set the bitch straight and tell her to get her act together and stop worrying??**

The pain from Cameron loosened in pieces and he gulped air to steady himself. He blinked as the fight faded and the door came back.

**Or better yet, why didn't you just dump her when you had the chance? She was nothing to hold onto.**

Nails dug into his palm and he stared at the handle, watching his hand shake in anger and resisting the urge to throw the broom. 'Was there any damn reason for showing me that??'

**Yea...so much for assertive huh? If you were so worried about what that bitch thought...I would've told her exactly what the truth was instead of playing nice.**

'Cameron was...delicate. You've never seen clingy girls before have you?'

**Please, they were everywhere in my time, they just hid it more.**

He headed out to the front and started sweeping to clear his head and shove that scene in the depths where it belonged. 'Do you have anything else that has actual relevance? That last memory wasn't very sturdy - the only reason I didn't say anything was because of hurt feelings. I'm sure you held back what you wanted to say to Kagome on more than one occasion.'

**Yea right! When I wanted something said, it was said and that was that.**

He gave the bristles a dry glance. 'Yea I bet. That's why you two didn't get along so well half the time isn't it?'

**Hey now! That was...well, it was...**

'I make my point. You know you're not offering anything that's helpful here. Since you had two strikes so far, you're not going to get much more before I say you're done for today and revel in the little feeling of regularity while I can. So I'll list off some things I've got going and if you can find ANYTHING in there, go at it.'

**You're on.**

'First off, I can cook and I'm good at it. I'm intelligent and took some college classes, even if I didn't feel like it was for me. I'm independent enough to make my own choices in life. I'm pretty polite to my family, friends, and the neighbors. I have a good reign on my temper and definitely don't show it as often as you do.'

**Keh!**

He resisted a smile at the pride he evoked with that jab. 'I have a pretty good work ethic when it comes to this place and I'm loyal to it. I have a good relationship with my family and I'm loyal to them. I have friends and I'm not shy at making more or meeting new people in general. I have a good sense of humor - something you certainly lack.'

**Uresai!**

He snorted and leaned over to get under a low shelf. 'I have a better grasp on my emotions and I have no problem expressing them. Now, after hearing those things - even off the top of my head - tell me if there's any way that you'd actually improve on them, or add anything I missed.'

There was no answer for a long time and he nearly finished the store by the time he got one. He could tell Inuyasha was in deep thought and left him alone. This was a crucial time between them and they had to actually get along before any kind of compromise could be made. He wasn't going to think that far ahead until things got ironed out here.

**You missed one very important thing.**

A brow rose as he butted in the front door to keep it open and swept the small pile outside. 'Like what?'

**When was the last time you were away from your family for a long time? Have you even spent any time by yourself?**

He stopped and stared at the street, feeling a cool breeze through his hair. He seriously tried to think of any time to make Inuyasha wrong. 'How long is a long time? We talking months or years?'

**Months to years.**

He resumed thinking, but finished sweeping from Jayden ordering the door shut to keep cold out. He searched as far back as he knew, in every circumstance possible. He was never gone more than a few days at a time, and every time he returned he always went straight home.

He always had a good, deep relationship with everyone in his family. He really couldn't think of himself as moving away or very far from them - ever. They were so important it was hard to picture...thus he ended coming up with nothing.

He was a little stunned and let his body move on automation as he paid more attention to inside his head. 'That - that can't be! I haven't always been that eager to stay home...have I??' He stopped on the other side of the storage door and slouched against it, the harsh truth coming to him. 'I can't believe it... It can't be true! But...I know if I asked any of them, they'd prove me correct.' A hand went over his face as he made for the floor. It seemed like he lost the battle at finding one thing Inuyasha had on him, even if he didn't know the reason. 'So what's your point?'

**Point is...I've ALWAYS lived on my own. Where I go, who I live with, how long I live there doesn't matter.**

'That's just one thing we're opposite on. You said so yourself I got the better life. Me being so close with my family is just one of the many things we're totally different on.'

**That has nothing to do with it. I wasn't always by myself you know. Even with Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Kirara, and Shippou, I often left them alone. I didn't stick to them like you do your family. I can give you the strength to be able to deal with living by yourself or even away from them.**

'Who says I want to though?'

**Are you going to be a whelp sucking at your mother's teat your whole life?? Be a man and find a place of your own! That's not even your house; it belongs to your hisobojijii, jijii, and oyaji. By the time you get it, you'll be a decrepit old man! But who's to say that onna won't get it before you because you're the second born? Even if you are the only son, your time doesn't care about that shit.**

True...if Jayden wanted the house when she and Chad married, she could possibly own it. The women took charge of a lot of the place, while ojiisan and otousan mostly kept it running smoothly. He could live there and know she wouldn't turn him away, but he DID want to get married in the future. Did he want to live under the same roof as Jayden and her family? He thought about it, finding it a little unsettling - he wanted a place to raise his family without everyone else doing so for him.

'So you made one point. But one isn't good enough to make me change my mind. Anything else?'

**One thing I noticed is whenever you have a problem, you always run to someone else to help solve it. Don't you ever figure anything out by yourself?? Are you that brainless?**

'It's called ADVICE.' He grit, glaring at the floor. 'I go to my family for that because I trust them and their opinion, also because those older than me may already have experience in dealing with things.'

**Don't you ever just figure it out for yourself? Shit, even with me you want to run to your family to figure out what you should do. Why can't you do this on your own? Are you that dependant on their opinion? They're not the ones who have to deal with me, you do.**

He didn't like anyone talking bad about his family, but there was another small point Inuyasha had. He often told his family the problems in his life, knowing they'd help. Even with this, he was burning to say something - as he never really kept secrets from them. The fact that he hadn't spoken a word of explanation for any behavior since Inuyasha awoke was startling and a little amazing to comprehend.

'Even though I tell them a lot of things, that isn't always bad. It's just one of the things I was raised to accept, whereas you hid everything from everyone because you felt it'd be a danger to you. So how is that going to help me? I see no harm in talking to my family.'

**I didn't hide everything from everyone. I told Kagome some of my past, but it wasn't necessary to say everything. Had she asked at a time when the quest wasn't going on, I would've obliged her. I knew I could trust her not to betray me and that made the difference. You don't seem to know that. Have you ever kept anything to yourself besides this?**

He thought to everything since childhood...every problem, every conversation. He winced as it proved how much he spoke. But, there was another thing he was opposite Inuyasha on. Someone who barely had a decent conversation with someone against someone who really didn't know how to be spiteful and ignore others.

But could that be a handicap instead of a good thing? True he never held things from his family and figured they had a right to know, but when did one draw the line? Maybe there were some things they didn't care to hear that much and were only patronizing him. That might seem a tad extreme, but how did he know what they thought?

**Now you're getting the idea.**

'Go away and let me think.' He grumbled. Right now he was feeling less than happy at thinking he was bothering his family with topics they didn't want to listen to. He didn't like being a burden to those that raised him. 'Could what she said be true?'

**_:Regardless of the condition of your life compared to Inuyasha's, you are still two halves of one whole. His personality would mold and blend with yours. Right now you are almost his exact opposite, so what he lacks, you would make up for. There are small pieces which are unseen in your mind that will be filled in. You may not think they exist, but they are there because Inuyasha is.:_**

A hand covered his chin in a thoughtful gesture as brown locked on concrete. "Hontou ka?"

He had to know what was true. He needed to be sure of this before he went and assumed too much and got emotions needlessly tangled up.

He stood and opened the door, nearly running right into Jayden with an armload of dirty rags.

The pair screeched in surprise. Jayden's hands spasmed and everything started to fall. He bent to grab the same time she did and the two ended up bumping heads. Multiple cries of pain sounded as the pair clutched their heads and left the dirty cloth on the ground.

**Nice going baka.**

There was a definite thread of amusement and he ignored it for the headache starting to form.

"You okay ototo?" Jayden grit out, eyes squeezed shut.

"A - aa." He mumbled, kneeling to collect everything. He considered himself damn lucky to get up as he did, less Jayden open the door and find him like that on the floor. "How's your head?"

"I'll go make use of some of the aspirin in the office now." She joked, moving to help. "Next time don't surprise me like that!"

"Gomen. I was actually just heading to ask you a question."

Jayden looked up in confusion, but all she saw was raven covering brown. Her brows furrowed, hands stopping their collecting. "Ototo?"

He couldn't look at her and ask, so kept his sight pinned on the mess. "Can you think back and give me a serious answer on...on whether or not I've ever said something you didn't really want to hear?"

Jayden blinked, absently shifting for more comfort as she thought. The subdued tone of voice set off intuition that something was wrong. "Are you feeling okay ototo?"

"Kotaerimasho kudasai..."

Lips pressed together as Jayden nodded, even if his eyes hadn't drifted up. She didn't have time for this with customers in the store, but it seemed serious so she tried to be quick. She had a feeling he was hoping for a no, but one thing did come to mind. "Ano...there was one time I remember in high school when you were talking about this girl you were flirting with once. I don't remember her name, but I do know I wanted to roll my eyes at you for it."

His jaw clenched, eyes slowly closing. It was even worse to know the one person he liked confiding to, the one person he thought he could tell everything to, didn't want to hear everything. He was hoping his fears were overblown. He could've dealt with that and been relieved to know it was not as he thought.

"Did that answer your question? Was there a reason you wanted to know?"

He jerked to attention and plastered a small, fake smile on. He swiped the rest of the rags and took the remaining from Jayden. "That's fine...that was what I wanted to know, thank you." He stood and turned for the door when a tug on his shirt stopped him.

"Your question worries me ototo. Why did you ask it?"

His head bowed a little, feeling sadness creep up. "I just got to thinking of a few things... I'm twenty-four and still living at my parent's home with no thought of a future job." He turned and looked into brown. "I still share the same room I did with you when I was a baby."

Jayden's head tilted. "I'm still not seeing why that's a problem. It's cheaper for you to live at home, you just don't know what you want to do with your life - which is fine, and I'M twenty-seven. Hell Chad and I haven't even set a wedding date yet, so don't insinuate that your life is crappy."

Jayden smiled to show she was joking, but her words stung. "True, but I just feel like I'm getting to the point where I'm not much help or doing any good with my current lifestyle." He turned away before the brunt of emotions could touch his sister and stared out the dock door. "I wonder if the others think that way of something I've said. Does okaasan not like some of the decisions in my life? Does otousan?"

Concern flared at his listless tone and Jayden quickly yanked on the back of his shirt, hoping to get attention and jog the funk he was in. "Listen here ototo! I may not always like what you have to say, but that doesn't mean I won't support you in what you do! This family sticks by each other through anything and if we can't come to each other with our problems then we're not allowed to call each other family!"

He quickly steadied himself before Jayden let go and lightly tugged on his mane. Lips tilted at her behavior, mentally grateful for her words, and nodded. "Aa...tadashii desu... Arigatou."

Jayden gave a firm nod, seeing desolation in his eyes lift a notch. "I originally came to give you these to dispose of and now that I did that I must head to the counter before okaasan wonders what turn I took to get back here."

He grinned and let her go, leaving the door open and heading for the trash out back. He stared at the bin after a half-hearted toss, pondering that conversation.

'Leave it to nee-chan to make me feel both worse and better.' He snorted in amusement and turned inward. 'So how much am I doing that I'm not seeing the line on? I do feel now like I am a burden to my family with my troubles, especially when they have their own, but you're looking at me from your perspective...my opposite. How else does the shikon think you'll do me good?'

**If you want examples, it'll take me some time to go through ALL your memories. If basics are all you're talking about I can figure a few things out now. But can you work and listen at the same time?**

He smirked and headed back inside. 'I've been dealing with you and living my life for the past few weeks. This'll be like working while listening to music.'

**Just don't make me say I told you so if you end up talking to me out loud.**

'To coin you, keh.'

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Hanyou wa nani-What's a hanyou Iyada-I don't want to Hontou ka-Is it true? Kotaerimasho kudasai-Answer (me) please **(Basically ordering nicely)**


	66. Ch 66

**_Is that enough to open your eyes? I'm getting bored here._**

_'Oh so sad for you. Sarcasm not appreciated.'_

**_Are you going to answer me or what?_**

_'You made your point already. In light of all that, you expect me to give in right away and merge with you?'_

**_Duh; I gave you the facts you wanted! Now you know I won't fuck up your life. What more is there??_**

_'I conceded that you're right - we do need to merge...but I want to get used to the idea first. Plus, you heard midoriko...we can't be at odds or we'll never be one. I don't want to hesitate when this happens so let me get used to the idea and -"_

**_You had PLENTY of time to do that! Why the fuck are you still hesitating?!_**

_'Idiot. Midoriko said if Kikyou and Kagome merged they could only if Kikyou held no hatred for Kagome and allowed it. Can you fathom the problems if we don't get along and combine?? Two minds still in one body and no way to undue it to try again. There isn't enough magic or know-how to separate the souls again. I'm not stalling, I'm being careful.'_

**_...You COULD be stalling..._**

_'Please. Plus I want you to know this world beforehand so you don't screw something up on me.'_

**_That's what your memories are for._**

_'Actually doing is different than seeing. I bet just because you've seen farmers work their fields in passing, you know exactly how to till a plot?'_

**_I can look at everything as far back as you sucking your mother's teat if need be. I have access to every memory, whether you remember it or not. How are you going to teach me something I can already study?_**

_'You watch, listen, and don't be afraid to ask questions. Consider yourself a foreigner in need of some serious explaining.'_

**_I still say you're trying to milk the separation._**

_'Do this and when I feel things are okay we can get the process started...I promise.'_

**_You already broke one promise - how do I know I can trust you?_**

_'You take the same leap of faith I am in you. I swear on hisobosan's grave I won't do this to be spiteful or extend the issue.'_

**_...Agreed._**

Two weeks ago. If he would've known Inuyasha was going to act like a child at that 'why' stage, he would've gave it more thought.

Questions came up half a dozen at a time and Inuyasha was not taking general explanations. They sometimes argued on points of things until he played peacemaker and made the same 'difference in area and era' comment.

He had to admit, Inuyasha like this was refreshing. He didn't have to worry too much about death threats anymore and anger lessened - even during their disagreements. Inuyasha was making a conscious effort to get along and know his world. He wondered how much of it was genuine and not pushing the timeframe forward. A quick scan revealed a little, but was way less than before.

He could get used to this whole politeness thing.

A part wanted to befriend the other half of his psyche. If he had to do this - no way did he want a separate voice in his head the rest of his life! - he wanted it perfect. If not friends, at least considerable to each other. He couldn't exactly make friends with himself, but he did want to do as the shikon said.

It was getting to the point of acceptance at all questions and even trying to prove his point was fun. If he let down his guard and stop pushing the hanyou away, he figured things might get better.

Everything was practically normal. From being woken by that coarse voice in the morning, throwing good-natured insults through the day, seeing his hanyou visage reflected only at him, answering all questions, and acting as transport in the meantime. He didn't mind 'carrying' Inuyasha everywhere in the city - at times he almost felt like he was seeing everything for the first time and it was interesting.

His will was bending and he knew it, but let it happen. He was considering letting Inuyasha have some control, but was too scared at maybe losing it entirely. He would keep it until his heart decided it was the right time to let go.

He sighed and looked to the ground, shivering a little at the chill. Still so torn, but better off than the start. Part of him wanted to call Kalie and talk about this, but the wonder of asking everybody for help ate at him.

Was he leeching off everyone like he figured? Fingers absently grabbed a free lock and twirled. 'Seems kinda harsh to say THAT. I'm just overly used to looking for help. After all, that's one of the many things that differ with time and distance. Now my life isn't in danger if I say something close to my heart, nor will it be held against me in battle. It's about time I take some responsibility and act like a man though.'

Asking Inuyasha about forgotten memories and having them play showed he was as immature as a kid. The sibling rivalry with Jayden, behavior with his friends, lack of any kind of future, and doing little around the house. Sad really...

Did his parents think he was a bad son because of that? They loved him unconditionally, but they must be wishing he did something more for his future. It was easy to put off the rest of his life when practically being taken care of.

'No more. I'm an adult and they shouldn't take the brunt of my laziness.' He stood and opened the patio doors, stopping just on the other side to look around. He took in both parts, heading for the traditional room. He stopped in the doorway and stared, ears buzzing at the quiet. He leaned on the arch, feeling sadly nostalgic and wistful. He wandered from every room, stopping longer in his great grandparents' room. Brown lingered on the side hisobosan always rested on.

He missed her and the calm she radiated. If there was anyone to ask for wisdom on this, it was hisobosan. 'Am I really doing the right thing?' Silence answered and his shoulders slumped. 'Hisobosan...'

He turned away, feeling someone would see, even if they were all gone. His duty to make lunch was done and all left to do was contemplate his issue. He didn't feel like much work, but wasn't a total loaf and decided to put in a few hours. Everyone understood because he loved hisobosan as much as they did, but they went to work to get rid of stress and built up emotions.

He wanted it that way actually...he hadn't said anything since day one and it would only be awkward to be resolving this and have them notice his discomfort. It seemed odd to deal with this around them and he feared what they would think if he kept this big an issue secret now that it was almost finished.

He headed to the basement, feeling a little restless. He stared at the weapons rack, slowly pulling a Sai out. He twirled it a few times, a form coming to mind.

**What are you doing?**

He gripped the Sai before it could fall and thrust it out. 'Practicing.'

**What is that?**

He blinked and stared at the weapon. 'You've never seen one of these?'

It was a simple design. One vertical for jabbing and a curved horizontal for grip and defense. There was no thread to take away from the silver gleam. It was beautiful in a deadly way.

**Nope.**

He smiled and grabbed a second, twirling both in his fingers; feeling like a show-off. 'They're quite handy and interesting to use. This particular kind is called manji sai because of the S-shaped guard.' He fisted both and went into a fighting stance, than a succession of general kick and punch moves. 'Not as complex as nunchaku, but they work.'

**I've only used Tessaiga. Sango had a few blades and Hiraikotsu.**

'I know.' He stopped and stared, giving Inuyasha a good view. 'Along with Kohaku's sickle, you can make a weapon out of anything.'

**It seems to handle well...**

The Sai went back before he exited the basement. 'Yea they're fun, but I know something I'd rather practice with more.' He left Inuyasha to wonder and headed for the dojo. He slipped inside and leaned against the wall.

Eyeing the case Tessaiga was in.

Brown shifted outside, highly wary. He was lucky Jayden didn't say anything the first time and he'd be an idiot if he dare try again.

The shoji was shut and a short staff angled in the track to keep everyone out. He was excited to the point of giddiness as he hurried over and pulled the case out.

"So I'm an idiot." He quipped, eyes lighting on the rusted katana. His nose wrinkled as he inspected it, sure not to get blood on it this time.

'Man is this thing in need of sharpening.'

**I know. It looked like that when I got it.**

He set the sheath down and headed to the middle of the room. Every nerve was itching to swing it like the first time, but he plopped down and peered at it, studying every part. The sword given to Souta so long ago and now made its way back to him. It was well taken care of - that was told by polish desperately trying to improve the look.

He found it odd that out of all the swords he held, this was the one Inuyasha once owned. Did Tessaiga want to come back to him? Was it fate? Maybe the shikon planned it?

'Who knows... probably just dumb luck.'

He felt good holding Inuyasha's - his - sword again. The grip made him feel complete, even if it would sleep forever. Tessaiga would never transform as long as he was human.

Not even merging would change that...so he hoped.

He didn't want the looks to change like Kalie's did. He was fine with having the human face. Any hanyou feature he didn't want. In a time of youkai and kami was fine, but that was over six hundred years ago. 'Shit, IF Sesshoumaru is alive; he'd be an old man almost!'

**That would be a sight to see if that bastard was even in Japan.**

He grinned at Inuyasha's amusement and cockiness and surpassing his older brother. 'You think I WILL look like you?' He queried, tapping a finger on the floor from nerves. 'It won't help us, but Kagome changed Kalie's look...'

**She looks like the soul. Kagome must not've liked the 'new' her and changed it, but I really don't care. I don't put stock in my appearance, but that doesn't matter anyway. We have three forms and you're one of them.**

'Yea, but my reflection is you and you're hanyou in my head.'

**I'm memories of the past - you're the body of the wish. I couldn't change at will, so the shikon separated my blood so I could be born human without the other forms. But she left the mind - something I had as both hanyou and human.**

'I GUESS it makes sense...'

**Of course it does; you don't get to be right about EVERYTHING.**

He smirked and stared at Tessaiga. He was silent for a long time, resolve slowly rising as the sun crawled. He couldn't hide anymore and was getting tired of the wait as well. It was kind of fun to have Inuyasha around, but he did swear he would end things.

The hilt hovered inches in front of his face. He mentally asked it for the strength to get through this and explain himself out if the need arose. With a deep sigh, brown closed as he turned inward. 'Oi.'

**What?**

'So...how do we do this?'

There was almost a sense of shock, followed by minute embarrassment. **I...have no clue. What happened with Kagome?**

He thought back to the times Kalie acted weird to when his problems began. 'She...well there was this time in the hospital when the doctors thought she was in a coma. She slept almost half the day before she awoke.'

_"Tsuini, koko...da..."_

He didn't question when she said that, but wondered about it. Was she aware of falling asleep, or tried to wake? He had no clue then, but with such different behavior when her eyes opened, he knew. 'That has to be what she did. After all, you and I can only make contact on the dream plane anyway.'

**Except you take forever to fall asleep. I can knock you out faster if you want.**

His head shook. He stood and made way for the case, not wanting to be caught with the sword and no way of defending himself. 'You've been patient with me enough; grant me a few more minutes.' He locked everything away and shifted against a corner. He had no clue how long this would take and prayed it was short enough to be brushed off.

**_Flames everywhere. He could feel heat, but the arms around him and steady heartbeat kept him from feeling anxious. He trusted the one holding him wouldn't put them both in harm's way._**

**_I want you to flee and make sure you're not seen. Keep the fire rat on you and give it to him when he can wear it._**

**_But...what will you do?? Come with me._**

**_Takemaru will not let either of us go, so I will face him here._**

**_Then I will make sure he grows up strong._**

**_For a brief moment he bothered open his eyes - feeling the center of attention. He first spotted sad, gentle brown framed in black before locking eyes with fierce gold surrounded by white. He blinked a few times before gold looked away and his eyes closed to sleep again._**

**_You will do as I say and leave. But, grant me one favor._**

**_Anything._**

**_From now on, let my son forever be known as Inuyasha._**

_-----_

_He was cold and didn't like it. He tried to move closer to the warmth holding him, giving a meek cry when that was hard. His eyes peeked open and landed on gentle, green eyes and he stared in fascination at the color._

_"Jayden, come and meet your baby brother."_

_"Ew...why does he look all wrinkly?"_

_"Now Jayden, be nice. He's had a big day."_

_There was a face peering at him and he was scared, but calmed somewhat at curiosity in those large eyes._

_"What's his name?"_

_"Inaki. Yamoi Inaki."_

_-----_

**_He was running. There was knowledge if he didn't, that would be it. He HAD to run, it was of utmost importance he find someplace safe and hide._**

**_He had to hide!_**

**_Dark forest greeted his vision in every angle. There was a mass of trees, grass, and dirt. There were a few hills, but nothing seemed promising to skirt around and stick his body into._**

**_He could outsmart those chasing him. They were stupid, but hungry. That was simple to fool - he was there enough to know the mindset. He couldn't fight though, he wasn't strong enough. Those behind him were stupid, but big - bigger than he would ever be._**

**_If only things hadn't changed! If only he still had the protection from the courts! If only...SHE hadn't died... He might've been shunned, hidden from prying eyes, and verbally scorned, but he would've been safe. Although precarious, it was better than this._**

**_Anything was better than this hell._**

**_He darted right and poured speed on. His arms flung at the sides as he dared angle forward for momentum. It was a gamble - if he misstepped once...didn't see a rock coming...he was done. But he often ran this way and knew it worked, and it would get him space from those with legs twice the size of his height._**

**_He wanted to tear them apart - be the hunter for once - but had many years wait before being bigger to change the roles. He could get stronger, but that came with time._**

**_The only thing he could do now was turn and run._**

_-----_

_"Musuko...it's time for lunch."_

_"Hai okaasan!" Chubby hands released the toy, letting it flop to the ground as a mini stampede sounded over carpet. A loud inhale sounded...an appreciative hum after. "Ah nikumanjuu!"_

_"Sit musuko and I'll bring your lunch to you."_

_"Hai!" The tiny body plopped down on his zabuton, shifting to get comfortable and antsy to have his mother's fine cooking. She was the best cook he knew, even if he didn't know anyone that cooked outside his family. Still, obaasan didn't beat his mother and he loved his obaasan just as much._

_The eagerness to bite into the gooey covering caused a burnt mouth and hand. It took longer for his fingers to feel the heat, as his tongue was more sensitive. "Atsui yo!"_

_In mere seconds, a cold glass was against his lips, water poured in. "Keep that there for a second musuko and hold it. It'll help your fingers."_

_He nodded in his misery, putting his mouth against the rim and sticking his tongue against it. "Arregaou okaahan..." He mumbled._

_A kiss went to the top of the raven mop. "Don't stumble over your words honey. And next time be more careful okay?"_

_He nodded and leaned in as much as possible with the glass still against his face to accept a kiss on the cheek._

_-----_

**_The ball tossed a few times to each hand before the man gave it a wayward throw into a section of the garden. He mentally wondered why the man threw it from the circle and ran after to catch it. He followed it over a bridge and was thankful it didn't drop in the stream, as he didn't want to get clothes wet. He snatched the object from its rolling walk and, feeling proud of himself, turned to hold it up to the group._**

**_Only then did he notice they all turned in silent ignorance and were already walking off to a different area._**

**_He was too confused at why they wanted to stop such entertainment and didn't follow to give the ball back in case someone would want it later. His ears perked up at the words they muttered to one another, brow furrowing at one that didn't quite make his building vocabulary._**

**_The wind shifted and a heavenly smell of expensive perfume caught his nose and he whipped to it. He dropped the ball and ran to her; arms extended for a hug and lightly clutched the folds of her robes._**

**_Hahaue! Hanyou wa nani?_**

_-----_

_"You have funny eyes."_

_"Yea...you look weird."_

_He stiffened, pouting and feeling angry. "I do not!"_

_"You do too! They're yellow aren't they? That's not an eye color."_

_"Okaasan says they're hazel...whatever THAT is." He shrugged and plopped down, rubbing an arm. The talk with his mother was still fresh in his mind and he tried to be strong. Even if older kids intimidated him quite a bit. "What're you doing?"_

_"Building a sand castle. Wanna help? I want it done before the bell rings and Rob is too slow."_

_"I am not! You're just too picky Kelah."_

_"That's not my name - you got it wrong!"_

_He brightened and grabbed a shovel, letting the two bicker. "Sure!"_

_-----_

**_Did that happen to you too, Inuyasha?_**

**_What._**

**_I mean... Were you bullied and stuff?_**

**_Bah, you idiot. If that happened to me, I wouldn't keep quiet about it._**

**_Ah... That's true._**

**_Because I wasn't either..._**

**_Eh?_**

**_I wasn't a youkai. I wasn't human. I couldn't go with either. That's why I thought I could only have a home if I seized it by force... And so I lived like that, and when I realized I was all alone it was the only way that I knew how._**

_-----_

_"Kalie...I... I comprehended something very important about myself AND you that day at the beach. I never told you, but now that you're asking, I will. I almost lost you and I realized how much I liked being around you. I like hanging out with you and being with you, even if we don't do a thing. If you left me, by death or not, I wouldn't be able to handle that. A lot of people where I live know that I'm searching for that one person to be with. It's like my personal obsession verging on the borderline of annoyance. I've gone through so many girlfriends – you know this – because of that reason. But I knew I found the one I wanted when I knew I almost lost you."_

_-----_

**_While on the other side...I was thinking a lot. About you Inuyasha, and Kikyou, and...about me..._**

**_Kagome... I..._**

**_I know. Because I understand your feelings...I thought I couldn't stay here in the Sengoku Jidai anymore._**

**_Kagome...until I met you, I couldn't trust anybody. But you cried for my sake. You were always by my side, for me. I enjoy it when you're here - I feel at ease. However...I mustn't laugh and enjoy things. Kikyou... I have to...risk my life for Kikyou in return._**

**_Yes...I can't compete with Kikyou. After all, because I am alive. Kikyou and I are totally different. I'm apparently Kikyou's reincarnation also...I am not Kikyou. My heart is my heart. But you know, there is just one thing about Kikyou's feelings that I understand. Like me...I want to see you again Inuyasha. Somehow, when I thought 'aren't both Kikyou and my feelings the same?', I felt a bit better. So I thought 'aren't our feelings of wanting to see you the same?' That's why I gathered my courage and came to see you. Inuyasha...Let me ask just one thing._**

**_Eh..._**

**_May I be with you?_**

**_You'll...be here for me?_**

**_Yes..._**

_-----_

_"I'll never be able to say it to his face, will I? I may be stronger now, but I'll still be a coward. I just...can't tell him... Why can't I? I'm not who I was...so it should be easy, ne? I have to tell him sooner or later - he deserves to know."_

_"...Know...what?" He muttered._

_I thought you were asleep!"_

_"Dozing. Your talking jolted me to full consciousness."_

_"You...weren't supposed to hear that..."_

_"Why not? It was about me wasn't it? So...are you going to tell me what you were thinking, or do I have to drag it out of you?"_

_"I - I can't...it's too embarrassing... And I wouldn't want to put you in any kind of position to answer me."_

_"I thought we were past the embarrassment stage with me. And you wouldn't put me in anything I wouldn't let myself get put in, so out with it."_

_"You're so mean..."_

_"So you say. Don't make me tickle you."_

_"You never let me answer at the time I want, you know that? You're always pushing me to do, do, do!"_

_"Well it's the only way to get you to do something."_

_"Did it ever occur to you that if I wanted to do something I WOULD? Or do it on my own time at least?"_

_"If I waited for you to do everything on your own pace I'd be sixty. And who says you'd do something if never prodded?"_

_"You assume too much! Sheesh, how I ever fell in love with such a person is beyond me!" His retort froze, eyes slowly widening. Her anger came to an abrupt stop and she soon matched his shocked gaze. "I - well I...I was going to say it...a little nicer..."_

_"You seriously love me?" He breathed._

_"I...yes. I loved you for a while now. But I was too much of a coward to tell you without forcing you to respond back. I don't want you to say anything just for my benefit."_

_"I told you, you were the one I wanted, but that didn't say anything. It just meant in no way was I going to lose you. It didn't convey depth of anything. I realized something else when you were done from surgery...and that's how much I love you too. You're stuck with me now, you hear me Kalie? You're going to have to fight tooth and nail to get me to leave you."_

_-----_

**_Why'd she have to die and leave me alone??_**

_"Why do I feel like I'm not myself?"_

**_I hate being weak! I can't survive like this!_**

_"Okaasan says that's funny. After all, I look like my parents and a lot like nee-chan...I'm pretty normal."_

**_Why can't they accept me like I am? None of this is my fault!_**

_"They all think my hair is funny because it's so long. But I like it the way it is. All of my family has long hair, even hisobosan. There's nothing to be ashamed of."_

**_To be stronger...to be the hunter instead... I bet they'd all change their tune at that one..._**

_"Man I can't believe how the girls flock to me! I think I'm pissing the others off when we're all together because they don't get as much attention."_

**_It's so easy now. Humans scare way too easily...weak little humans. They have every right for being afraid...if they're scared they'll fear me instead of hate me._**

_"I can't be with this girl. I feel sorry for her because I know she likes me, but I just don't feel right with her."_

**_Damn youkai - still not strong enough! I need to get more power to beat them and show them I'm not someone to screw with._**

_"I hate being alone. It's like a rash I can't get rid of. Why do I even bother though? Every girl I go out with just doesn't seem to have the qualities something inside me is searching for."_

**_Shikon no tama?_**

_"Can't believe high school is over. Now there's nothing left but college. Except that doesn't seem as important as everyone is making it to be. Should I bother?"_

**_Kikyou...for you, I would be anything you wanted of me. You're the first friend I've ever had in my life..._**

_"Man I feel like I'm wasting my life away! Work and sleep and that's all there is. I know I need to do something, but I can't put my finger on it."_

**_She betrayed me! How dare she! A lie, it was all a lie! I'll show everyone what happens when they mess with Inuyasha! Feel my pain and wrath puny humans!_**

_"Who is THAT??"_

**_Kagome...she's not scared of me? How? She smells and looks almost exactly like Kikyou, but she's not. She's - she's almost better than Kikyou in a way... But I can't lose my guard around her or she'll use those fucking beads again._**

_"She looks so familiar...like I've seen her before. Something inside me needs to talk to her - I need to tell her my name!"_

**_Suman Kagome...I need to clear everything up with Kikyou before I can think of you. I know you're angry with me, but give me time._**

_"Open up to me...please. Don't shove yourself in the darkness of your mind. I want to know you, what makes you tick. You're so interesting to me and I don't know why..."_

**_Why?? Why her?? She was so alive! Why did Naraku take them both?? The gods are too cruel!_**

_"I can't believe how well we get along. Even long distance like this doesn't make a dent in my mind. I always feel like I need to be near her."_

**_Make a wish...why bother? It won't bring back Kagome._**

_"I love her. My first love! I won't let her leave me anymore. I'm not going to let her ignore me or keep me from what's going on in her head. From now on, I want to stay with her."_

**_Kagome...I wish I could've spent my life with you. I wish I could've told you those words. I only wanted you - only you. I never wanted things to end...I never wanted you to die on me. There has to be a way! I don't want this to be all there is._**

**_"I want to be with you!"_**

His eyes fluttered open and all he saw was black. A hand came up and anxiously pressed against them, fearing he was blind as a result. He stood and leaned against the wall he huddled against for what seemed forever and his muscles let him know it.

Images started coming to life the longer he peered at dark and was relieved to find it merely night. Now he wondered how long he was asleep. He had no watch on and there was none in the dojo. He strode for the doors with newly possessed grace, knowing he had to go outside sometime, and stopped at spotting a small hole in shoji.

He mildly glowered at that and looked around. Had vandals gotten in? The stick was still against the door, but it someone made that hole to dislodge it. He did a pretty good job at wedging it in place so he could be along, but it seems someone wanted to change that.

It had to be someone from his family - Jayden he assumed. She was the only one brazen enough to break something not hers. He must've been out longer than figured if she tried to come in and see if he was here. She must've known he was by trying to open the door.

His head shook at it all, resolved to let it go. He felt a little detached right now with all of Inuyasha's memories and emotions now his and swimming amongst his. It was hard to find his own to know what he felt.

A hard yank released the block and he slid the door open, slipping into his sandals. He found the moon high in the sky and knew it had to be midnight. He was out all afternoon for sure - definitely past dinner.

To accentuate the point, his stomach clenched and growled to be appeased.

Brown rolled as he strode for the back door, glad to find it unlocked. He had no keys since he was on the property the whole time, but the family locked their doors at night and he would've had to find a window to crawl through.

There would be no more of that from now on.

The door was oddly unlocked. He knew something was going on - unless everyone was waiting for him again - and crept inside. He spied the stove clock and found it only ten. That was a little surprising, but not a bad thing as he had time to sit and think of what occurred.

As he pulled the door open to the fridge, a faint step reached his ears and he whipped to the sound. The door was left open as he tried to see in the dark - almost wishing to be hanyou right now - and find out who it was. Was it one of his family or did someone actually break in??

A familiar scent of perfume reached his nose and he relaxed. He slowly closed the door and gave full attention to the figure in the archway to the traditional room. "Musuko...you came back."

He looked away, jaw setting as guilt flooded. "I - I never left."

Kristine stopped in front and looked up to her son, a hand resting on his cheek. Green and brown locked, poorly looking at each other in the dark. "Omo-kun and musume said you locked yourself in the dojo. Omo-kun says you were huddled up in a corner and didn't answer him when he called through the slats." The hand moved to his forehead to check for a fever. "Why didn't you answer? We were so worried something was wrong with you... What happened to you this time musuko?"

He reached up and gently grasped her wrist, pulling the hand away. "I know I stressed you all. For the past two months all I've done is be a burden. I had so much going on inside my head that I can't begin to explain. It's too complicated and past the point of unknown that none of you would believe me. All I can say is it's finally over and you have nothing to worry about with me anymore. I won't make you concerned like you have been. I promise."

The older woman stepped forward and tenderly wound arms around torso and rested her cheek to his chest. He looked to the top of her head and copied her, feeling love for his mother. 'Ofukuro...'

After a few minutes, Kristine pulled away and smiled at him. "You were in that room for many hours - you must be hungry. Sit and I'll get you something to eat."

Tender brown stared before he found the urge to move his feet and sit at his zabuton. He stared at the near black wood until a light clicked on. He easily recognized the stove's glow and listened to his mother putter around, feeling content to listen instead of watch.

There didn't seem to be much in the way of changes except he felt a need to be more serious than before. There would be no more childhood bickering with Jayden and as soon as it was light outside he was going to do what he wanted to set out and do right now.

He wanted to see Kagome.

His body ached to hold her again, his eyes yearned to look at her features, and he had to tell her what happened. He felt a need to confess so much, to say the things Inuyasha never got to say. He needed to make her understand she had no worries in him anymore...that she could trust him.

"Hai kore." He jerked to attention and blinked at the steaming plate now before him. He looked up to his mother as she reached down and gradually ran a hand through his head. "Wait a second and I'll get you some chopsticks and tea."

His mouth opened and closed but he couldn't say anything. Inaki was used to this treatment - kinda - from his mother, but Inuyasha never got this, let alone ALLOWED it. This was new and he sat in minute embarrassment at being attended to like this. His face warmed as his mother handed his utensils and set down a holder. She returned with two glasses and sat in her place to have tea while he ate. He felt nervous eating in front of his mother, as she was only half his now, but chided himself and started in.

This was going to be harder than he thought to get used to both sides. He felt still like two different people, having the memories of both, yet being one. He would do it though, as he had no other choice. It wouldn't be so bad though, he finally had a family to call his own. Even if he said he just wanted Kagome, he could definitely get used to having so many people around who loved him.

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations:** Hai kore-Here you go/This is for you


	67. Ch 67

It rained all morning. She woke up to it and it was amazing how she slept during it since it was so loud. There was no wind and it came down as if someone was pouring buckets from a river.

She worked through it, mentally grumbling at having to keep mopping up puddles and mud everyone kept tracking in on their way to the desk. Other than that, work was the same as always - uneventful and mildly boring.

She pulled up a chair, finally finished clearing off the breakfast area, and procrastinated working on clearing the computer for the afternoon front desk. Sam was working on getting laundry washed and that would take a while, so she was harassment free for a bit. Until the phone rang and she had to sound cheerful, she was free to revel in true emotions.

Some were from not hearing from Inaki since they talked to the shikon. She was worried about him - he was worse than her with having to combine with Inuyasha and she wanted to know how he was doing. She needed to make sure he was okay and how he fared in general, since he took the news as bad as she figured. She hated seeing him suffer in any way - the feeling was mutual she assumed - and wished there was something she could do.

"Yo, come back here and help me clean up." She jerked to attention and looked in the vicinity of the laundry room. "And bring the phone with you so you can take calls."

Brown shot a dry look, but she grabbed the cordless reserved for making rounds and such and strolled back. "What's so necessary that you want me to step away from my other duties? I DO have a computer to empty you know."

Sam didn't look away from the towels she was stuffing into an industrial washer. "I didn't hear any typing."

She mentally cursed and hopped onto the large folding table smack in the center of the room. "Maybe I just hadn't gotten to it yet. I DID just sit down out there."

Blue rolled as the girl shoved the roller basket to the laundry shoot. "Don't lie to me - I know you too well. You were mopey this morning until you caught me looking at you. Something is going on and you know I'm going to bug you until you tell me and feel better. Would you like to wait and get the full brunt or put yourself out of your misery and spit it out?"

She tried not to smile and looked to the windows to hide some of it. Heavy drops splattered the window and generator just outside. "I don't know really. I guess I feel - I'm just..." Her brow scrunched as she tried to put a word to what she currently felt. "Restless? Yea, that."

Sam stopped pulling out sheets and looked her way. "This wouldn't have anything to do with no calls or letters from Inaki, now would it?"

Oddly enough, it didn't. "No, I'm not worried about him not contacting me because his life is pretty busy right now. I am concerned for how he's doing, but this is different."

For the past few days she was trying to figure out what was clawing its way to the surface to be known. It seemed important, and she tried to feel both hers and Kagome's emotions to see what it was. Kagome was probably trying to tell her something, but she wasn't getting the clues yet.

It almost felt like she was forgetting to do something. An unknown inkling in the back of her mind saying she skipped part of her agenda. But other than college and work, there was nothing she had to do now. It was strange and almost frustrating, but she tried to deal and give Kagome the benefit of the doubt.

'What is it I'm supposed to do??'

There was a lot of wonder whenever she looked into the other set of memories now possessed. So many unanswered questions remained which the shikon didn't give. She needn't ponder over Miroku-sama and Sango-chan's fate, but her family was a big hole. She wanted to ask Inuyasha what happened after her death, but that would be too touchy a subject and she knew it.

"Earth. To. K!"

She jumped again and caught a used hand towel before it hit her face. She blinked at it and gave it a grossed out look. "That's disgusting!" She shouted, throwing it right back. Sam grinned and dodged it, letting it land on the floor before throwing it in the second washer.

After setting the detergent dials, Sam turned and leaned against the counter next to her. "You're too spacey. What if the phone rang? I would've had to answer it and do laundry at the same time. There's a reason there're two clerks at this place."

She nearly glared. "Says the person who took me away from the front desk - what if there're people out there??"

"Then they'd ring the bell set out specifically for when we're back here." Sam shrugged and went to one of the fridges used for the breakfast area. "We can't be up front all the time... Ah ha, come to me my pretty."

"You KNOW we're not supposed to take food from there. That's practically stealing!"

"Say that to the housekeepers who yank donuts from here on a regular basis. If Barb has a problem with it she can calculate it off my salary."

She looked to the front area in mild panic as if there supervisor were here. "Don't say that like that! What if she's listening??"

Sam rolled her eyes and wordlessly headed out the doorway. She passed into the desk area and was back within half a minute. "The woman isn't here - why am I not surprised? She's NEVER here."

She hopped down and grabbed the cordless. "She's got another hotel to run besides this one you know. Don't be so nasty to her."

Sam stared as if she had three heads. "YOU don't even like the woman! What's with the change of heart??"

She stopped and gave her friend an unreadable look. "I grew up and decided not to dislike someone for no real reason."

She plopped on the stool again and mentally berated herself for going off on her friend like that. 'The only person you ever yelled at was Inuyasha.' A hand covered her mouth to hide a smile, even if it was true.

She decided to get back to work to pass the time. She had a job to do and even if she never held a paying job in her other life, she didn't want to waste the responsibility given. She was not sitting around to talk to Sam and watch the girl eat company food. There was little time to slack off when Kagome was alive and that made her feel like she had to do something to keep busy.

'All those classes and jobs make sense at least.' Black swished as she smiled and opened up the list of yesterday's customers. 'It's only a few hours, I can handle it. I always do. Besides, I can't be idle when I can use the extra time to get some homework done.'

The fall term would be over soon. She only had about a month left and was mildly worried about semesters, but knew as long as she studied as hard as always she'd be okay.

The hardest part to get over was she would be a SENIOR next term. She might be able to graduate a semester early if she kept piling classes on. It would not only save time, but money. Whether or not she got anything other than her master's degree was something she didn't plan yet. As long as she could find a good job and start saving up to pay back the government, she was happy for now.

Thinking about staying in school even longer didn't exactly sit well with her though. As much as she liked learning, the feelings roaming in her weren't making it easy to find an agreement.

Her head shook as she paid more attention to what she was doing, finding she just checked out a person staying a few more days. Cringing, she set about fixing it and forcefully kept from thinking. She could think later...provided she got homework done first.

* * *

It rained all the way home and didn't stop intensity. She was beginning to wonder if it was natural for it to rain this long, but very cold rain was the closest they'd ever get to snow, so this must be an equivalent to a blizzard. She still ended up having to dry her hair and throw her and Sam's uniforms in the dryer. 

It always felt strange whenever she did homework in the rain. It never seemed like the world was doing anything and to have it rain this long was a reminder it was alive.

She got past one subject and about twenty pages of notes when the phone rang. She was content to let Sam get it, even if they both retreated to their rooms. After the fourth ring, she shot from her room with hope the person didn't hang up and threw an annoyed look at Sam's door in passing.

She was panting by the time she reached the phone. Luckily someone had a good amount of patience and it rang the whole sprint to ground floor. "Hello??" There was no immediate answer, so she took that time to catch her breath. "Hello...is anyone there?" She would be rather irritated to find a crank call right in the depth of studying for exams.

"...So you ARE home."

She blinked, immediately trying to place the voice. The person sounded rather familiar and her brain tickled heavily. "Who is this? Did you need something?"

"I need you. Wait there for me."

The line went dead and she dumbly blinked at the holder. The dial tone snapped her to reality and she slowly put the earpiece back, utterly confused. "What the hell was THAT all about??" She meandered back for her room, trying to place the voice. It was on the tip of her tongue. It ALMOST sounded like Inaki, but that was preposterous. She knew his voice and the guy sounded strange.

She was so confused it took a few minutes to get back to where she left off and by the time she was halfway through another class, she thought she heard a knock on the door. With the rain it was hard to tell, so she shrugged it off and continued on.

She thought it came again and sighed, pushing her chair back. "I'll NEVER get anything done at this rate. What exactly is going on around here?" She jerked the door open, hating to be interrupted in the middle of schoolwork. Sam's door was still closed, but she figured the girl would've heard it better since her room was right above the front door.

'Not like there's any mononoke in this house - I'd sense them if they were.' The doorbell rang and she quickened her pace, feeling mildly dumb at not paying attention to her surroundings. She paused at the top of the stairs in surprise. There was a discernable presence she picked up that rubbed her miko skills into the barest traces of being used!

"That's...impossible!" She skipped steps, heart beating fast. She knew of something so faint it was nearly impossible to pick up. In fact, if she hadn't set about to hone her skills so they were a little sharper, she wouldn't even have picked it up.

There was only one person she knew like that and it was Kagome who would know, not her. Someone with so fierce a fighting spirit it radiated with a pulse all its own.

She threw the door open and came face to face with a mildly dripping and soggy Inaki. Bangs plastered against his face, wet spots on his sweater and jeans. Her heart skipped a beat and teeth gnashed her lip. She couldn't help but stare like an idiot, but this WAS the first time she saw him in a while. Fingers itched to pull him close and to kiss the daylights out of him...but also ask why he was here so suddenly.

A crack of thunder made her jump and broke the moment, but she mentally shook herself and stepped back. "Sorry Inaki, come in please." She waved him in, but he wordlessly shook his head. "Inaki? Is something wrong?" There was a serious, but soft look in his eyes. She didn't know how he could pull that off at once, but didn't have time to think as he grasped a hand and pulled her forward. She was ready for an embrace, but surprised again when he merely pulled her outside. "What is with you??" She retorted, letting the screen door close. He didn't answer and she was beginning to think he wasn't going to, but he swiftly drew her to him and hugged her tight. He smelled her hair without tact, much to her confusion and shock. "What is the matter with you?! Why are you acting this way??" She tried to pull back, but he wouldn't let her go even to look him in the eye.

"Kagome."

That one word stopped every movement, every emotion, every breath. She felt air leave and sagged against him, glad he seemed to know she would do so. Hands gripped shirt and her face buried in his chest, body shaking. Tears of unnamed emotion fell as she stood there, shivering from cold and depth of feeling.

"K - Kaetta..." She breathed. "Anata wa...hountoni kaetta!" A hand rose and slowly ran over her hair. She tried to calm down, knowing she wasn't doing them any good by being so emotional.

The voice on the phone suddenly came to mind and brown opened. That WAS Inaki, or Inaki as his new voice sounded. It was Inuyasha's but through the vocal cords of a human. That's why is seemed weird.

"Inu...yasha?" She was released and looked into brown. "Is that really you now?" A hand rose and rested against a cheek. One of his cupped hers and she almost expected to see talons, but only normal human nails. Whatever changes she was expecting, he didn't turn into a hanyou. He was still human, just like the shikon said.

"Not anymore. I'm the same as you now...but he still couldn't resist saying your name one final time." He pulled her hand away and cupped her face. "I have a lot of his emotions and thoughts to get used to so it's kind of confusing for me right now. Bear with me please."

She quickly pulled him down for a deep kiss. He responded in kind and hugged her to him tightly. He felt so good, but there were so many questions in her mind to ask. She wanted to keep doing their current activity, but talking also required her lips.

She finally pulled away for air instead. "How...when...why?"

"Why?? Why not?"

She blinked in confusion. He looked offended at that last part and she hurried for an explanation. "Well, it's just you were so adamant - I mean Inaki was - about not wanting Inuyasha as apart of him, I just wondered why." She rambled.

He looked away and stopped her. He was silent, but a small grin crept up after a second. He looked back and gave her a tiny squeeze, reaching down to give her nose a quick nibble. "Baka...omae wa. As far as how, I simply followed what you did with Kagome; when is yesterday."

She slowly pulled away and sat on the flat surface of the porch railing, looking to the rain. "So...what're we supposed to do now? We're both Kagome and Inuyasha as much as we're Kalie and Inaki. The shikon didn't say anything what to do after did she?"

"Why don't you ask midoriko yourself?"

Her head whipped over, locking on an almost dull-looking pink ball in his palm. "How did you manage to get it from the kitchen?"

"My time went sometime after lunch to tenish. Ofukuro was up waiting for me and I insisted I do the dishes she made me dinner with. I snuck it before I went to bed and brought it with." He stopped before her and grasped a hand to transfer it. "You're the only one who can talk to that damn miko out of us, so I figure we could see if there's any part of the wish left out."

She nodded and stared at the shikon, watching rain reflect in smooth glass. She concentrated on the presence she felt when she sensed it after so long and was stunned at being unable to find it. 'Uso...' She held it against weak afternoon light as if trying to find midoriko in the tiny ball.

There was nothing there at all.

"M - masaka!"

"What is it?"

Brown showed the exact amount of astonishment and his head tilted in confusion. "There's nothing! No youki or miko energy...it's - it's empty!" The pair stared at it. "I don't understand...how could it? Is midoriko trying to tell us something?"

He stared at the ball, a smile tilting his lips. The lack of luster that was never there before...the dead weight feel. Like it was a normal marble. He sat behind her on the board and pulled her against him. "She's trying to tell us that's it. When I fused with Inuyasha, the wish was complete." He absently looked to the rain, smelling the unique fragrance it brought. "There is nothing more for her to say. Maybe the shikon was never supposed to disappear...but maybe it DID. It's nothing but a glass chunk now."

She listened to the rain, staring at the porch ceiling and somehow feeling almost cheated. She reveled in the warmth he gave and feel of his arms around her waist. Brown finally looked down the street, that restless sensation coming up. "That can't be the end of the story..." She mumbled, idly picking at her t-shirt.

"Eh? Why not? That's all we had to do."

Sadness invaded and mixed, making her feel a little melancholy as well. "We only have each other now and that's the wish you made, but there're still details left out." Slowly, she shifted and sat away from him.

It all became clear. Midoriko's absence helped her see what needed to be done, but she didn't know if she could relay her thoughts coherently and make him understand this need.

When she wouldn't turn to face him, he hopped up and went to her. "What is going on with you? We have nothing to be anxious about. There is nothing else. All we need to worry about is us now." He wanted to shake her and make her realize that, but she seemed preoccupied. He mentally shook himself from Inuyasha's impatience to be gentler and try to see what was going on. A hand went and pulled her to look at him, thumb brushing over her skin. "You won't close off on me anymore, ne? That includes what's running through that head of yours. It's not stupid if you're thinking it."

She blinked back tears and leaned forward to hug him. "Ee. I was just thinking...it's been a long time since we were born here... What about the others?"

He blinked and tried to look at her, but bangs covered her face and hid her eyes. "Others? We both know Miroku and Sango aren't alive and IF Shippou is alive, he wouldn't show himself for us because he wouldn't trust us in these forms."

Her head shook. "It would be nice if he managed to live this long, but I don't mean that part of the family. I wanted to see about my - Kagome's family. I want to see what happened to mama...Souta...jiichan..."

He forced her to look at him when her voice wobbled and cut off. Tears flowed and he almost did an Inuyasha panic, but let his emotions cut the hanyou's off. 'This is going to be harder than I thought.' He groused.

"Listen here, I didn't pick us being born a hundred years into the future. You have to believe me on that." He continued only after she nodded. "Everyone is born and everyone dies. That's the cycle of life. You probably already know about your ojiisan and okaasan by now."

"That only leaves Souta." Teeth bit her lip as her heart thudded. "I have to see what happened to him! I'm his neesan no matter what form I'm in! I'm not asking you for any favors of any kind, but - but I need to go to Japan and see! I want to see my home, Souta, my school, the tree, and the well. I just need to be sure Kagome's life is as finished as Inuyasha's is before I can be Kalie."

He knew what she was talking about of not being able to move on. It was funny the way she talked, of the lengths she was taking just for that closure. Inuyasha ran here and there just to see Kikyou, so he couldn't hold it against K for her desire. "I know you're not." He pulled her knees apart and moved to rest his forehead on hers. "But now that I am who I am, I'm not letting you out of my sight anymore than I have to." He smiled and gave a quick kiss to her nose. "If you're going back to Tokyo, I'm going with you. I've never seen Japan - my ancestor home - so this is an opportunity."

Her heart fluttered and smiled her thanks, snuggling cheek against chest. "Arigatou."

"When were you planning on leaving?"

Brown popped open as she pulled back, cheeks burning a little. "Ah, well I - actually this was...pretty new..."

He sighed and shook his head of it all. "Don't worry; we'll get things figured out." He looked to the storm and noticed it was starting to dwindle a little. He gave the rain a put out look for lasting so long and making visibility hard. "I seem to have all afternoon for it."

Her studies were shot to hell, but that was fine. This was something she HAD to do, not just want, so it was warranted. However...if she DIDN'T study she could kiss the rest of this term goodbye on crappy exams. Teeth bit her lip as she tried to decide. "You're still all wet from the rain; you need to come in and dry off. I can throw your clothes in the dryer in the meantime, but -"

That smirk cut her off. "Eh? You want a repeat of last time do you?"

Her face flamed and eyes widened as he pressed against her and sucked on a shoulder. The breath left her and her heart sped as he started heat low in her stomach. It took a LOT of willpower to push him away, but she dug deep enough and found some. "I - iie! I need to finish getting my studies done for today."

Wrong answer. He pouted and glared at her for that one. "All you do is study! Kagome knows how to have fun, I know she does." He poked her to show he was teasing and smiled. She was not amused, so he sighed and took a step back. "Alright...we'll compromise. You do your studies and I'll dry off."

"That's not enough time and you know it!" She retorted, hands going to her hips. "It won't take you long to dry off."

He grabbed a fist of hair and pulled it for her inspection. "Are you kidding me?? Something like this is going to take longer than ten minutes! Even if I leave it wrapped in a towel, I'm in for an easy half an hour! No way am I putting it in a pansy-ass braid just to keep it out of my way. It'll end up all curly like a girl!" He suddenly stopped and took a step away, trying to reign in Inuyasha's temper. "Mou...he's not making this easy on me..." He grumbled, covering his eyes.

She smiled, knowing his problem and put a hand on his shoulder. "We'll see what happens when your clothes and hair are dry, ne?" He nodded with an embarrassed grin and she grabbed sweater. "Now, come here and say hello to me properly."

* * *

She wheedled an hour total of homework and let him get a nap, telling him it helped sort things out. She knew from experience every time she slept and woke things were a little more organized in her head. Even if she still dreamt of Kagome's life - she betted she always would as a side effect of all this - she felt refreshed and everything seemed like hers more than last time.

It didn't hurt that she also got extra time for studying too.

She didn't feel bad at all for that, especially when she took a break and watched him sleep. He looked so handsome that she wanted to run fingers over his face, but restrained the urge. It'd been a while since he slept here and she felt at home with him, even if he took up the whole daybed.

She resisted a giggle and turned to her text.

She promised they'd talk and was burning to get some details sorted out now. It was hard to concentrate and it ended her focus for the day. She sighed and stuck her pencil in the spine, closing it. 'Not going to let me off, are you Kagome?' Black swished as she turned and stood to stretch. She kneeled next to his head and gently rested arms and head on mattress to keep from disturbing him.

She could stare at him all day, so long as he didn't feel her eyes. Her head tilted as she resisted kissing him for how adorable he looked. A hand rose and lightly rested on his cheek. "Aishite..."

"Aishite...mo..." He mumbled, eyes peeking open. He gave a sleepy smile and a hand shifted to comb through her locks.

She blinked. "Weren't you supposed to be asleep?"

"I can't sleep anymore. He never did. But I did rest, so I'm set for a while." He yawned and sat up to stretch.

She almost felt sorry for him. Her brow furrowed as he pulled her to sit on the mattress with him. "You really can't sleep like you used to?"

He smiled and wrapped arms around her, nuzzling her neck. "It's okay. Animals are light sleepers...and Inuyasha was part dog. Comes with guarding the territory. But I do get some deep sleep at times."

She looked to the rumpled sheets, not pacified. "I still don't like the idea... Inuyasha used to go for days without sleeping. You're human now - you can't do days. No human can."

"Don't worry about it; I'll get it worked out. Now, about your plans. Shall we get to work on them? I'm almost getting excited to see what Japan looks like."

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations:** K - Kaetta-Y - you came back / y - you returned Anata wa...hountoni kaetta-You...really came back/You...really returned Baka...omae wa-You...are an idiot

Aishite-I love you Aishite...mo-I love you...too


	68. Ch 68

There wasn't that much planning needed. Save money, find a hotel, and pick a date. Time was the biggest issue and it would've been perfect to go during winter break, as she had almost a full month off, but didn't have a few thousand dollars lying around. She wanted to pay for her travel and expenses, but there was only a few hundred left in savings after hospital costs. Extra money from spring financial aid would be a big help, but not in time until January.

Inaki offered to pay for tickets and she any extra expenses, as he had more money, but pride wouldn't let her give in. He said they had plenty of time before spring classes and should take advantage of it while they had it; also that she could get answers faster.

Of course an argument ensued. Inaki assumed Inuyasha's protector role and wanted her to do as he said and let him take care of her. Kagome's temper sparked at that and it took a passerby - talks were held at the beach for privacy from all known parties - to ask if she was okay. She was amused at the thought of Inaki being labeled an attacker; he was all bark and no bite...just like Inuyasha.

It was hard to swallow her pride, but she compromised and gave him the remainder of her savings to help buy tickets and started hoarding extra cash from checks. Inaki told her he would make arrangements with a hotel, and after more arguing she gave in. She had classes and two jobs; he made his own hours. Free time was not on her side. She didn't get paid the amount of money he could borrow...she knew he would end up shelling out for the hotel as well and that grated on people-having-to-pay-for-her nerves.

She didn't know a good time to go and asked about holidays to be wary of, so out of touch at being Japanese. Crowds were not a good thing when looking for a shrine and graveyard. Thankfully there weren't a whole lot in December. She wanted to be with everyone on Christmas as well, so opted to leave as soon as finals were over.

She got lucky her last test was early Wednesday. She took that night off from work to pack and double-check she had everything. A list helped of course, but it would never fail that she forget to write something down.

Thursday sped all too fast and now she was giving the room a final once-over, ignoring Sam in the doorway. "He's going to come barreling in here and tear your head off if you don't get your butt downstairs and by that door to watch for him."

"I can deal with him."

"I bet." Amused blue followed her across the room. "So what time does your plane leave?"

"In one hour."

"And when did he leave?"

"Twenty minutes ago."

"When are you going to be back?"

"The twenty-fourth."

Sam grinned. "And HOW much stuff are you going to buy me?"

She stopped near pacing and stared at her friend, brown rolling soon after. "As much as they'll allow through customs. Oh crap, that reminds me; I need to sort this so it's easier to shift through!"

Sam stopped directly behind and grabbed a chunk of sweater. "You are done packing. Come with me."

"Let go of the hem! Stop dragging me - you're cutting off my air!"

The pair stopped in the hallway and faced each other. "Then take a few deep breaths and stop worrying." Hand rested on shoulder as Sam took on a serious look. "I can't believe you're doing this, but you know I support you. I just can't imagine why you're going with him to sightsee NOW. And you let him pay for everything? I'm amazed you didn't try to chip in."

She gave a tiny, nervous smile, feeling a twinge of guilt. She hadn't told Sam the truth, but how could she? Saying she was going on almost pure business and something pertaining to her past life would never be accepted. Even if she kept it vague, Sam would still want details. This was all she could do and though she used to tell Sam everything, that stopped with this topic.

"Yea well...he doesn't want to leave me alone more than he has to and I can see why."

Blue rolled. "You guys are too mushy for my tastes."

A sly grin formed. "Whatever happened to you WANTING us that way?"

"I'm not talking cavities here!"

She giggled and whirled for the door. "Keep an ear out and let me know when he's here." She listened to Sam grumble all the way downstairs.

Really there wasn't much else to pack. If she went by the list she had everything, but it never hurt to be careful. Last thing she wanted to forget was something important.

She sat at the foot of the bed and started repacking, trying to put things that might draw suspicion to the top to be easily seen. Of course customs would go through her clothes before leaving and arriving, but if things could get less than ruffled, she'd be happy.

It was ironic Sam couldn't believe she was going all the way across the world. Now that she was actually going, unease and a little fear crept up just thinking about what she'd need to do. She didn't know if she'd be able to look upon her mama's headstone or jiisan's. Trying to imagine it brought tears to her eyes and heavy sadness.

Her shoulders drooped a little as the garment in her hands rested in her lap. Dull brown stared at her things. She couldn't help but get depressed; it was inevitable. 'I'll need Inaki there as much as he needed me for Mira-san's funeral. In all the time I traveled back to the Sengoku, my family was always home waiting...going through their own lives even when mine ground to a halt.' Tears lined her eyes. She could barely picture their faces now. They would come to her in dreams, visions of Kagome's life, but during reality it was hard to grasp. Brown squeezed shut, arms wrapping around herself. 'Dame...dame da! This whole trip will be wasted because I can't make myself walk up the area to their markers! The shrine won't make it easy on me and I can't visit mama and jiisan first.' She sniffled and took a deep breath, trying to keep from breaking down.

A hand suddenly grabbed the crown of her head, fisting some of her hair, and gently tugged back. She startled and nearly screamed in surprise, also doing a number on her neck at the angle. "Doushita?"

She blinked in surprise and checked the clock. Did she waste that much time already?? "Ah! I wanted to be ready and done by the time you got here, but then I figured I'd make it easier on my things at the airport and -" She made to stand and the second she was on her feet she was drug back by a pair of arms around her waist. Warmth instantly seeped through sweater and lips lightly drug across the exposed skin of her neck. The breath left her in a shaky whoosh. The tension left as her heart sped and body warmed up.

"Stop worrying so much...I know why you want to go and I don't intend on standing around. I'll be there for you because I know you need me for that."

Her nose burned as tears lined her eyes again. She couldn't speak in a strong voice, so merely nodded. "Un..."

He gave one last squeeze before releasing her and grabbing shirt off floor. "Now, we need to get you done and done before you take up any more time. Don't worry about your stuff - if customs doesn't screw with everything, then baggage loading will. Just fix everything once we're in the hotel."

She was mildly annoyed as he tossed the shirt in, apparently not caring if it wrinkled. "Don't do that yourself, you have no tact on how to pack. I bet I should look through your things to make sure you didn't wad them in a ball."

"Keh...you think I packed my own things?? Ofukuro wouldn't let me and did it for me, even though I tried to make her stop. They're happy I'm going to see Japan and wanted to do something for me. Not like they can really GIVE me the money I needed since I worked over half of it off."

She glared. "Yea yea, rub that in my face while you're at it. Geez, I already know I don't make as much as you ever will."

Brown rolled, which only added to the boiling point. "Now you're reading into things. I wasn't doing any such thing." A finger snaked out and poked her stomach with a grin. "I'm supposed to be the one with the attitude here, not you. Let's leave Inuyasha's qualities with me, ne?"

It sounded like he was patronizing her, but maybe that WAS Inuyasha's quick anger working...or maybe it was Kagome. Either way, her temper sparked and hands itched to yank a fist of loose hair in aggravation.

He merely smiled at how riled she got and stepped closer, ignoring anything she could do. "Here now...we've no time to get into a small argument you'll be starting."

"Atashi?!"

He grunted and the smile widened. "Aa. You're the one who's pissed, not me. I still retained a lot of my levelheadedness you know. Maybe you should look for yours and stop feeding off of Kagome's."

"Why you...YOU -"

He pulled her against his chest and kissed her, doubly offsetting her. If only Inuyasha had the guts to do that to Kagome back then, the fighting would've definitely stopped.

Or at least making up would've been a lot nicer.

He pulled away as hands fisted shirt and her body trembled. He didn't want to work her up too much, also working himself up, and then not want to leave. He nibbled on her chin for good measure, smiling when the breath rushed from her lungs. "Feeling better now?"

"You're...not fair..." She mumbled, eyes closed in bliss.

He thoroughly enjoyed the look on her face, but tried not to laugh at how easy it was. "Maybe I'll finish what I start later, ne?"

"Ee..." She already anticipated a time that was so long in coming. Months since they were together, but she was still able to imagine those few times.

Her head shook and she mentally chided herself. 'Don't be so shameful to get yourself worked up that you jump him.' Her face heated and she tried to hide it and hurried to her suitcase to finish packing.

* * *

She was thankful Inaki chose a relatively short flight...as short as one could get for going across the planet. She wasn't much for flying, even if she rode Inuyasha's back quite often - one would think she'd be used to the whole up and down sensation by now. But spending some nineteen hours on a plane with only one stop quickly got old and sleep only did so much. She didn't have any texts to bring and sorely wished for something to throw herself into. 

Old textbooks helped until the plane touched down for fuel. They got a quick look around in San Francisco and both tried to see as much as possible before leaving. Neither drifted very far around their hometowns, let alone the state line.

It was the first time she got to see snow.

Sure Kagome lived in a climate that allowed for freezing temperatures, but she wasn't one hundred percent Kagome anymore, nor was this a hundred years ago. Past greenhouse gasses and whatnot rose the degrees a little and the damage would take longer than one century to undue.

She headed outside without a second thought and was blasted with cold. It was way chillier here than in Miami - given the location, that was a no duh - and that was something else experienced for the first time. Never was there a cold that took the breath from her lungs or nipped her nose and cheeks red. Home, and even Inaki's town, never got below freezing. To see ice lining slight patches of untrodden sidewalk and road, finding it clinging to tree branches, was a small piece of heaven and wonder.

Apparently it hadn't snowed lately...or if it did, it melted and froze again. She judged from the condition of what lined curbs, pieces of landscape, and piled against the glass next to entryways. She always thought snow was soft and never held when a person stepped on it, always squashing flat in an instant. This was a twist and it was nice to think about.

They had enough time to go and look around, so she did. She led the way farther past the doors, barely paying attention to Inaki's whining about the cold as he followed her before they got lost. He complained about her taking off without telling him and grabbed part of her jacket to keep her from going any further when she kept walking.

"That's enough outa you. Where do you think you are - Florida??"

Excited, antsy brown looked his way. "Isn't it beautiful?" She gushed, breath heavily fogging. She didn't give him another glance and turned back to take in the glitter of partially cloudy weather.

Brown rolled, but he looked and had to agree. Of course he was the one with cable tv and knew what snow looked like, but never ventured far enough north to look at it in person. Sure it was fucking FREEZING outside, but there was a picturesque quality to it. Even the people rushing around them, nearly bumping into them - taking all this for granted and even growling about it - added to the scene.

"Can you believe how many are complaining?" She murmured, head shaking. "Course I suppose it's a different story when you're exposed to it all your life... The cold, the slippery roads, the heating bills..." She grinned. "Sam would LOVE this place."

He chuckled and wrapped arms around her, drawing her against him so she wasn't in her own little heaven without him. "Maybe she'd stop bitching about the heat."

"She's just a pansy." She inhaled crisp air and sighed in appreciation. "You think Tokyo will be like this?"

"Who knows? Did you bother to check the weather there before you left?"

She snorted. "Like I have ANY means to do so. You're the one with a computer. I was just curious is all. I brought some winter and a few clothes for warmer weather if that's the case. You make sure to pack for everything?"

"I didn't pack my things remember? I'm sure ofukuro knew what she was doing though. I'm not worried." He was silent for a few more minutes before raising an arm and checking the time. "We should get some food before getting back on. We've got some time."

A sly grin tipped her lips. "You just don't want to admit you're cold."

"Keh! I'm more resilient than that! After all, I'm still half of him and he gave me some of that 'thick-skin' when I was born too. I've also got a thick enough jacket on."

The smile widened. "Then why are you hugging me so tightly?"

Brown didn't look amused, even if the tiny shivering would get him caught. "Baka." He muttered, bumping his head against hers. "I'm going to go in a controlled environment and stand right outside and watch you freeze your ass off. Then I'LL be the one picking on you."

Brown rolled, though she was still grinning. "You go right ahead. Make sure our carry-on is still safe where we hid it too. And go see if this city has anything good to eat."

He growled as good as he could for a human and gave black a gentle yank. "Bossy little ojou-san aren't you? Do-this, do-that...what am I, a servant?"

She didn't want to dignify that with a response, but couldn't help it. "If you have to ask..." She laughed when he scoffed and stepped away as he made to tickle her.

"I don't have to stand here and take this!" He strode inside, feeling a little playful at her humor, and gave it more for show than anything.

Black swished at his behavior, but she put it aside and turned to the small view. It was lined with different kinds of vehicles, skeletons of sleeping trees, and a rainbow of people, but none of that mattered. This was an experience that would live with her and she didn't wish for this to be extended. She liked being forced to enjoy this with a relatively small timeframe, it just made it that much more special.

After all, when would she be doing this again?

Sure it was cold outside, but she could stand to shiver for a bit and a small part whispered that she could stand it. She'd be stubborn just to piss off Inaki and show she wasn't THAT flimsy. The sun was a nice touch and thankfully clouds were far away enough so they didn't cover her only heat source.

It felt good to experience this on her own. The initial minutes with Inaki were nice, but she got the same feeling when at the beach. The peace which rose every time she watched the waves was equal to the stillness and simplicity around. With a thought, she strode to a pile and stuck a hand through. She didn't own a pair of gloves and definitely felt the temperature as she brought hand to eye.

The top layer was like a chunk of ice almost, but underneath was powder dry snow. She let some of it fall, watching the rest melt and redden her palm. She imagined she looked like an oddball with her actions - after all it was just snow...

The hand moved and wiped across jeans to dry off. The general temperature was doing damage and she stuck hand in jacket to warm it. 'Suppose I should head in now.' She twisted and waited long enough for the sliding glass doors to part, getting blasted from the ceiling by a powered heat vent in the process. It felt good and she resisted the urge to stand there and block the entrance.

When she got back to the small spot they claimed, she found Inaki with his nose in a book. A brow rose. Trying not to get annoyed, she strode over and stopped above him, though he didn't look up. "Whatever happened to watching me from the windows? Nice waiting."

He grinned and flipped a page. "I AM waiting for you...rather calmly at that. You're lucky I didn't feel dramatic and fall asleep on the chair. I could've done that whole annoying comatose spectacle."

She pulled the book from his hands and idly looked to it despite his protest. "You can read this on the plane. Let's go get some food, ne?"

"Hai..."

* * *

The trip to California seemed long enough, but across the ocean was murder to her boredom. It was a little nerve-wracking to cross an entire ocean without any way to stop for fuel or if something went wrong. Thinking of the plane crashing in the middle of winter ocean currents started a nice little panic session Inaki spent at least ten minutes trying to calm without getting others freaked or trying to help. 

She was so happy to see Japan again it actually brought tears to her eyes. Her life up till Kagome seemed like one long vacation and when Mount Fuji became more detailed it was hard to remind herself who she was. The ache to see the shrine and walk the streets she took to go to high school burned her heart until she resisted the silly urge to parachute and finally touch down.

Hearing a Japanese announcer in the terminal, English accompanying that of course, was like music. A smile wouldn't leave as she handed the carry-on to customs and answered him in fluent Japanese instead of the English he directed at her. She tried not to laugh at the stunned look as she rambled from excitement and apologized for not saying she knew his language. She knew Ella's ancestry was going to get her a lot of misunderstanding for knowledge versus looks and hoped to be able to deal with it.

Leaving the doors mildly assailed her with an aura of jyaki she felt dimmed from plane height. Even that high in the air, higher than the mountain, she could feel the faint presence of youkai. Either there were more than the shikon predicted or her powers developed that well since Kagome's 'resurrection'.

It was hard to describe the feeling and intensity. Kind of like a fine mist one could barely see except when the sun was just rising in the morning and enough shadows to make density for sight. The feel was so faint, but still there...like squinting to see something almost out of visual range. The feel of it was nostalgic to both past lives and though she felt more like Kagome than Kikyou, she felt like she belonged here.

It was good to be home.

Sure there were some youkai in Kagome's time - one would wonder how they managed to survive the era of machines - and this was just a tad less than a century ago. Maybe the difference was Naraku's death; since he did have a tendency to suck up youkai faster than miko and houshi could kill them. Maybe villagers past the Sengoku decided not to hate them and visa versa.

Her head shook as they headed straight for one of the awaiting taxi services for foreigners. Whatever happened after Naraku's defeat and Kagome's death she didn't need to think about. She had enough to worry about in the last hundred years alone.

"Ochanomizu St Hills Hotel please."

She looked out the window as buildings came into view and parking lot faded. How the place changed! Sure Tokyo was crowded to accommodate so many people along the coast, but taller buildings adorned the sky...much like pictures she saw of New York.

She sat back, a little disappointed. But what could one expect? She didn't know how westernized Japan would come, since everything came at rapid pace since the Meiji era. Even Kagome's family ate at a table and chairs instead of the floor, beds instead of actual futons. Inaki's household held somewhat traditional things in it, which was ironic considering the timeline.

Brown craned backward when an arm draped over her shoulder. She gave a halfhearted smile, feeling a little comforted in the familiarity of his touch, but still downhearted at her findings. The gap since her last life was offsetting her and she didn't like being so out of place, yet knowing she felt right here.

Japan would soon disappear and the only people who knew what it really used to be, what it started out as, were those who were no longer themselves. Kagome and Inuyasha knew what tradition was because they lived in the strict version of male and female roles. Now everything seemed to change with European ways of thinking and the young changing the molds.

Black brows furrowed as confusion entered his eyes. She knew he wondered why she was sad when not ten seconds ago she was so happy. Her head shook as she turned to the driver. The man didn't need to hear anything she had to say - it wasn't being rude, but she was now as much a foreigner as Kagome was in the Sengoku...she had to know how everyone did things here before opening her mouth and saying what for anyone to hear.

The pair exited after a mildly long ride through traffic and distance. The driver helped get their bags from the trunk and someone out front waved someone out and they drug a metal carrying cart with them. "So I hear this thing was built almost at the year two thousand." He said, placing a suitcase on the cart. Brown looked up to the many stories they would be staying for the week. "Quite an impressive piece of metal and glass. Nice horticulture too."

"Thank you sir, you are very kind. I will take you both to the check in and help take your things upstairs." They both nodded and followed the bellhop to the main doors. "What room are you two staying in?"

"The Q Room." He answered, pulling information from a pocket.

The bellhop cast a quick glance her way, one she couldn't really discern, and a brow rose in query. The man immediately stopped and turned in a bow. "Forgive me miss," He replied in English. "I did not mean to offend."

She smiled. "Your English is very good." She answered, mentally smiling at his look from Kagome's Japanese skills. "I am not offended, please don't worry." She put a calming hand on the man's shoulder to show he did no harm. "Can you tell us about our rooms?"

A smile directed her way as the man gave a quick bow and they continued. "It is very pretty. There is not much in the room, but it is traditional and supposed to be that way. There is a table for eating, futons stored in a closet, and a window for fresh air. We have what you would call a niche with something simple to admire as well."

Check-in was quick and she was thankful the bellman stayed with them. He stood next to the cart until they finished and continued to lead them to the place necessary. They went up a few floors and down a small walk until shoji was opened and an empty floor greeted her. She smiled at it anyway and strolled in, immediately opening the window to see the view.

She didn't pay attention until a pair of hands slowly snaked over her waist and his chest pressed against her back. "Well I got rid of the guy." Lips idly moved over the top of her ear. "What do you want to do first? Shrine? Graves? Food? ...OTHER?"

She knew what he meant by other - hell his tone insinuated it - but was too embarrassed to do anything when people were up and about. What if someone knocked?? Shoji was paper and you could see a flashlight shine from the other side of it.

The tingling she was going through didn't help and it made both thinking and deciding hard. "You're doing this to taunt me, aren't you?" She breathed, head tilting a little.

"Mm, maybe..." Teeth lightly caught flesh. "But you looked kind of depressed and I had to get you out of it."

She gave the sky a mild flat look. "Is that how you're going to calm me down EVERY time?"

"Would you like me to stop?" She didn't answer, but he got the answer from the pounding of her heart as his hand slid over it and pressed against her backside. "Remember what I said about finishing what I started..."

"Mm hmm..."

"Well...we'll wait until tonight for that. You can do your other things later; I want to go sightseeing and get some food."

She promptly turned around and slapped shoulder. "Then stop working me up only to stop! What are you trying to prove, ne??"

Hands held up in defense, though he tried not to grin. "Nothing, nothing I swear." Brown gave a quick up and down look to her body. "I just couldn't help myself."

She blushed a little and whirled to the window. "You're horrible."

His chin went to her shoulder and lightly bumped their heads together. "You say that like it's a bad thing..."

She heaved a sigh, but smiled a little at his behavior. He could make her angry, laugh, cry, grin, and love him all in the span of a minute. How he did it was just him and she didn't know if she wanted him to stop tempting her anger or not.

Making up was still pretty fun.

They spent the day taking trains and going across pedestrian walks. It was the worst case of déjà vu in spots, but it was going to remain that bad. There was no getting around the emotion of feeling like you were in a certain location and with her chances were good that Kagome had.

It was nice to put off what she came here for, even if thinking about it still did no good. She knew it needed to be done and was finally here, but arriving meant she was actually going to through with it all. She was putting herself through hell by fretting so much, so they would get started tomorrow in locating the shrine. The looking around helped familiarize her again so she didn't anticipate too much trouble.

"Are you still awake?"

She blinked and tried to look behind. "Yea...I thought you weren't."

"I'm enjoying this, why should I go to sleep?" She smiled and turned back to stare at the wall. It was hard to see in such poor, almost nonexistent lighting, but her eyes adjusted by now. "You're going to need all the sleep you can get. He's not going to let you snooze in very long you know."

"Will YOU be able to fall asleep tonight?"

"I'll be okay. Don't worry about that."

She twisted, jarring the resting place of his arm, and faced him with worry lacing her eyes. "Are you serious when you say you can't really sleep anymore??"

Brown rolled, though her concern was nice. "Inuyasha stayed up for days at a time because he was trying to keep alert for danger with you guys. He learned to go without sleep and only rest when he could to keep his energy up. I got that from him, but it's a change from doing nothing but sleeping until I couldn't anymore."

"That still doesn't seem fair..." She muttered, looking to his collarbone.

"Hey." Arms wrapped around her and managed to tug her a little closer. An arm trapped between their chests and she snaked one over his waist to keep it from cramping. "Don't make me force you to see my point here. I'm not freaking about something this small. It's not that hard to sleep because he and I merged on that part and it balances out well enough. I just wake up earlier and sleep lighter is all." Teeth reached out and nipped her nose. "Quit saying anything about it or you'll annoy me."

She stared at him for a while and then nodded. She snuggled against his chest, inhaling his smell as he always did to her and relaxed at the ease it gave. A quick kiss went to the exposed section of his neck, lingering longer than necessary and halting his breathing. She couldn't help a sly smile and pulled back enough to talk. "What were you saying about finishing something?"

Hand gripped hair and pulled her back for a searing kiss. Fingers massaged scalp and she was glad to be lying down for fear her legs would give out. He finally pulled away and started rubbing lip over her cheeks. "I did say that, didn't I?"

Anticipation reared, but she was getting annoyed at his procrastination. She wanted to pin him down and press against him to get him going, but the mere thought sent a blush over her face. Kagome was brave and did things in the face of danger, but she wasn't THAT courageous.

Something else they had in common.

She nearly yelped when she was pinned on her back, hands above head, knees being nudged apart. The blankets made it hard, but he seemed to like the slow pace. He finally settled between her legs and propped himself up to stare at her. She was a little self-conscious at the intensity of his gaze, even if it was soft, and pulled his head down for a kiss.

It was all the encouragement he needed. He was no longer Inaki and she was no longer Kalie. It would be the first time Inuyasha made love to Kagome and the thought was both exciting and anxious. He already had K once, but circumstances were different and as silly as it was he worried about what she'd think in the next few minutes. He needn't put himself through the wringer like that, especially with the kiss, but it was a male pride thing.

Inuyasha being as prideful as he was didn't make it easy.

Their clothes quickly became too heavy for his tastes and a hand tiptoed lower and brushed under her nightshirt. K went to Kagome's taste in pajamas, but at least they were button-up. He changed position and straddled her legs, fingers removing each button agonizingly slow. She was watching his every move, eyes hooded, body trembling the barest of degrees.

He pulled both sides to tatami and stared. She was just so perfect in his eyes and he leaned down to lavish her body with attention he thought she deserved. She shivered when lips contacted skin. Hands kept him braced, hair falling over in waves to shadow his face and their bodies from the outside world. It hid her from everything but his eyes - the way he preferred it - and tickled her skin. Her breasts puckered and he tantalizingly licked his way up her rib cage and stopped to wrap lips around a tiny bud.

She panted, head thrown back what she could, eyes closed in bliss. Her body was humming and racing with adrenaline and heat. They were meant to be, even like this, and right now she didn't regret any decision made by merging with her other self. It felt right, like everything was okay with the world. Hands came up and dove in his hair, gently massaging and clenching when he made a nerve buzz.

He shifted higher to her neck and teeth wrapped around skin, her heart fluttering underneath. His hips shifted down a little, quietly groaning when he made contact. She gasped and whimpered, nails pressing against his shirt. He wondered how much he'd scar by the time they finished tonight. The thought made him smile, but he squelched it and sat up.

Wordlessly, he took her hands and stopped them at the hem of his shirt. She quickly grasped his intent and practically yanked the article off his torso. Her lips mimicked him, hands brushing over his skin to feel him. She was almost frantic in her actions, if not predatory. The thought of her in control sent a rush through his blood. He didn't mind her taking the reigns, as it was quite the turn on for her to show him what she wanted, and he was tempted if he didn't want to do the same thing first.

This was Inuyasha's privilege, his first time. Ever. It was kind of amusing to know such a powerful, loud-mouthed warrior was so timid intimately. He pulled his own desire forward and decided to let Inuyasha's feelings sit back and experience.

This was definitely going to be interesting.

He pushed her down and sat in between her legs, a sly grin forming. She blushed, knowing what he was going to do, but her eyes told him to get on with it. He shifted back enough, trying not to discomfort himself, and inched the elastic hem down. His lips kissed the places cotton touched until he looked up in silent command for her to lift her hips up. She shifted and in a few yanks, was in nothing but underwear.

That wouldn't do either.

He swooped down and covered her lap, hands keeping hips from moving. She cried out, trying to keep from letting the whole hotel hear, head thrashing. The noises she was making were turning him on and he couldn't help himself at the pressure and speed he exerted to make her create them.

She was certainly enjoying his administrations, but the feeling of being empty - as odd as it was to describe - built and only he could decimate that. She moved after a few mental orders and propped herself up to look at him. "I...Inaki..." She whispered. Lustful brown glanced up in question, meeting equal passion baring down on him. "P - please...I need you...Don't make me wait anymore."

He didn't need anything else. He rolled to stand and shed his sweatpants, finding her staring in blunt appreciation. He grinned and kneeled, getting a yelp when arms crooked under knees and pulled her forward. Fingers trailed up a thigh and hooked around weak fabric. She helped him divest the last clothing and before she could think he entered her fully.

She choked on a gasp, barely hearing him groan. It took a second to remember to breathe and when she moved, arms pulled him to her. He moved excruciatingly slow and every thrust was delicious torture. Nails dug into his back as a meter of what he did. She felt wild at everything being brought to the surface. She wanted to suck on his neck, lick his skin...nibble on something even!

Arms shifted to brace himself. Gods this felt so damn good and he was torn at going faster or staying at this pace to enjoy the tirade of sensations. Her nails were going to break skin or leave some marks for a while unless he got her to stop. His body halted and pulled away to look at her. Hand brushed at bangs to see her eyes, gently kissing her. "Do you think you could use the pads of your fingers?"

An embarrassed smile came as she fought a simultaneous grimace. "Sorry... Think of it as what you do to me."

He smiled and slid in again watching brown roll in the back of her head. "I already have a pretty good idea."

She pulled him down for a fierce kiss at his chauvinism, taking his lower lip with her teeth and exerting a little pressure. His tongue swooped out and ran across her upper lip, getting a shiver.

She never thought she'd ever be this loud and SO did not want to alert those in every room around them, but it was kind of hard to rope it in when Inaki felt this good. She wasn't a big sex fiend, but had a feeling he was going to turn her into one after today. They had each other, they loved each other...this was the only other way to express it. The only way to try and make the other feel exactly the same thing.

He watched her when her orgasm overtook her. He could seriously get addicted to the look on her face, the way her body trembled, the feel of her muscles pulling at him. He moved faster to make her feel more, clutching at her when everything became too much.

They stayed that way when he completely stilled. Her legs remained wrapped around him, arms twined over his back, body throbbing. His breath heated her neck for what seemed the longest time before he pulled back and deeply kissed her. "That was a long time in coming." He murmured.

A smile made its way forward. "Yes, yes it was." She kidded, kissing him again.

He almost wanted to stay that way, but she was not going to be comfortable and moved back. Her warmth evaporated in the cold night and he shivered.

She shifted as he pulled her against his chest, feeling content and complete. Fingers entwined when his arm draped over her waist, ankles locking with hers.

She wanted to stay like this forever...not even falling asleep. She wanted to stay awake and listen to his breathing, revel in the feel of their body heat under the covers, the clash of their nakedness. But it'd been a long mental battle with what had yet to happen and the act just performed. She conked out in minutes and barely heard him whisper his love.

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100% correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations:** Dame...dame da-No good...it's no good


	69. Ch 69

Sunlight was not welcomed in the blissful, comforting dark surrounding her. The dreams finally stopped, but that only meant consciousness was fastly approaching. She didn't want to wake up yet, now able to sleep in until wanted for once, and squeezed eyes against the glare easily coming through shoji.

It was so nice and warm under the blanket. The futon mattress kept a lot of the cold out from the floor, but her shoulders were bare and her nose was cold. She snuggled closer to the prime source of heat and was almost immediately, but gently, moved back an inch or two. With a small grunt at being kept away, she inched forward again to have the same thing happen. Finally, brown fluttered open in bemusement and stared at something she eventually recognized as Inaki's chest.

"What..." Sleepy brown met brown as she blinked in confusion. "What are you doing?" Inaki was pushing her back? Why??

He leaned forward and gave a light kiss to her forehead, brushing bangs away to see her face. "I WAS trying to watch you sleep, but you kept moving forward and I couldn't see."

She sat up and yawned, arms stretching. "Why were you watching me sleep? How long were you doing so?"

He looked to closed window and rolled into crisp air from warm covers to stand. "I'd say since light started coming into the room. I don't see a clock in here and I didn't have my watch on."

She gave him an odd look and experimented with sticking bare feet from the blankets. She yelped and stuck them back in and pulled most of the cotton over her head. "Wake me when it warms up." She whined, scrunching up to conserve heat.

He scoffed in amusement and lightly kicked what felt like her butt underneath. "Get up you; the day's passing us by and you're being a baby about a little frosty weather."

She pouted and shot him a light glare from a crack in the cocoon. "So sayeth the hanyou who probably spent much of his life in every kind of weather imaginable!"

He grinned and kneeled above her head. Hand grabbed blanket and threw it aside, letting it stop near a side wall. He ignored her yelp and complaining, also rolling away when she made to swat him. "Up! If you'd like, I can help raise your temperature so you're a little more comfortable..."

Brown widened and her body started humming. The feel of last night surfaced quite clearly and low in her stomach started pulsing. Teeth grasped her lip as she stared, seriously considering it. But cold was a pretty good dampener and she sat up a tad disgruntled. "No...I'm already all gross from last night as is - I need a bath. Don't need it twice."

He sighed in small disappointment and moved to the window and threw it open, bringing in a blast of frigid air. He inhaled in appreciation, such cold temperatures an interesting change from Florida. He leaned on the sill and listened to feet quietly pad his direction, arms soon resting against his back. He gave the view a dry look as she practically draped herself over him, rather arousingly at that. As much as he'd love to take her again, room service would probably be up and about soon. "Why don't you get off me and we'll go find a bath house in this place."

She pushed off and made for the suitcases and her things. "That's quite a thing of the past you know. This isn't the Heisei Jidai."

"It's also not Sengoku, but Kagome still had them. Let's just scout the place out and explore - if anything we only waste breakfast time."

She decided not to take anything yet and end up lugging that everywhere before a bath could be found. It was kind of unnecessary because the modern hotel rooms had a full bathroom attached right in the room. It was interesting that theirs did not, but that made it no less fun. Of course there was a closet-sized room for the toilet and sink, but that was it.

The lobby and check-in area was quite beautiful in the morning. The darkness of marble did nothing to hinder its simplistic beauty. She pulled Inaki aside to ask the front attendants - feeling kind of funny at being the resident instead of hotel worker - which he grumbled only mildly about. It took them less time that way, even if exploring sounded fun. They didn't go far, but also had all week to explore if they were bored and there would definitely be extra time lying around.

They stopped at the room to grab bath items and put the futon away. She didn't want to be so messy and the hotel staff didn't need to do so when they were perfectly capable. They headed to a pair of public baths right next to each other. She didn't promise Inaki she'd be done anytime soon and to take his time. He whined about Kagome's long bathing habits, but she waved him off and headed inside.

It was odd to cleanse herself the way Kagome used to. She felt rather exposed in the small tiled room of showerheads. There was no one in the area, but she was a little uneasy at the thought of being naked in the presence of other women. 'Suck it up - use Kagome's emotions to get you through.'

It wasn't the thought of being totally naked as it was being a foreigner and being totally naked. The natives were going to judge her and maybe even talk about her thinking she didn't understand. She hoped it didn't come to that...or if no one came in she could skip all that and bathe in peace.

She got a quick scrub down, making sure to rinse all soap good before grabbing everything and heading for the tubs around the other wall. They were as tall as she remembered general Japanese tubs being. The half dozen were tile-lined. In fact, so were the walls, floor, and ceiling where water would drip. She set everything next to the tub and wrapped hair in a towel to keep strands from falling in. After all, water was changed only when the tub was cleaned and she wouldn't want to touch someone else's hair floating around.

It took a bit to adjust to nearly scalding temperatures, but Kagome helped with that and soon she seeped up to her neck. Such high heat wouldn't allow her to be in long without accelerated heart rates and blood pressure, so best to enjoy it while she could.

-----

"You take too damn long. Always have." He groaned, towel drying his mane. He soaked as long as thought necessary and took extra time getting dressed. Even with all that slowing down, he was still forced to wait. He would've ventured a peek around the corner - it DID seem pretty quiet in there after all - to see if she was there, but didn't want his head taken off and get thrown out for being a perv. There were no other people passing by for him to ask if they could see what K was up to, so he set about working on his hair since it would take a bit anyway.

She shrugged and stopped the brush going through her hair. "I warned you, didn't I? Now I'm hungry from all that hot water speeding up my system - let's go find someplace for breakfast."

Brown spared a glance as he followed her back. She didn't seem that nervous, or much of anything really. There was a pleasant look on her face; anything bad or negative was absent. He was a little concerned about her stuffing such powerful emotions somewhere where she wouldn't deal with them, but maybe she was simply putting it off to deal with later. He didn't break down until outside the doors at hisobosan's funeral, so he could see what she was doing at least.

It would be easy to watch for signs of emotional unrest and upset. He would be sure to stick a little closer and be more sensitive when that time came. The thought of her suffering through this, though he could understand the reasons, made him want to hide her from it all. But it was necessary and all he could do was be there. He hated feeling so powerless - even as a human - and wished there was more he could do.

Hopefully when the moment of truth came, she would lean toward him instead of taking it all in on her own.

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They got so many good food stand and restaurant choices when they asked; she decided to pick the one closest to the hotel to save train money. They had to get up to the shrine's prefecture and unless they wanted to walk it, which would take hours probably, it was best to save money.

They COULD walk all that way up and stop for lunch on the way, but she didn't know the city anymore than Inaki did. It could be a lot more dangerous if some wandering youkai attacked - she would still be seen as a threat, being miko and all - and was almost ill at the thought of Inaki fighting to keep her safe. He had no powers and would never have Inuyasha's anymore and she had no bow. His martial arts would do no good against the magic of youkai. Not to mention human robbers.

She didn't tell him that though. His pride and maleness would demand they ignore all modern forms of transportation and head up the extremely long way. She also didn't feel like walking the time it would take because exhaustion was not on her to-do list today either.

It was so nostalgic to eat at a noodle stand. She got more foreigner treatment from those eating with them. Many tried out their English on her and some showed visible disappointment when she answered in Japanese. She humored them though, praising those in English on their fluency and making small talk in American dialect.

It was kind of funny. She was a little embarrassed at the attention everyone gave. They were all friendly enough, but even if they said foreigners often came to Tokyo, she felt they gawked at her a little. The questions about where she lived and the United States in general didn't cease until some got their food.

Not many gave Inaki a second glance except to ask about his family and when they ended up living where they did. He seemed a little disgruntled at so many asking personal questions about his life, but she knew that was Inuyasha's dislike to giving information. Certainly these people were mere humans since she felt nothing intimidating and managed to communicate that with Inaki to relax him.

They ended up at the train station almost around lunch by the time they left the noodle stand. The ride was another reminiscence and she took in as much of the city speeding by as possible. She was a little nervous that they almost reached their destination - her fidgeting was proof of that - but her stomach was verbally demanding to be fed and she blushed more than once at the amused looks sent her way from those they walked past.

They stopped at the edge of her neighborhood in a small restaurant, ordering bento. She toyed with some food, teeth mercilessly reddening her lip.

"You're going to make yourself bleed if you don't stop that, then people will wonder what I did to you."

She jerked to attention and looked up from the black and red box, dumbly blinking. Shunted eyes looked back down and she tapped chopsticks against a plastic divider. "I - I can't help it... I don't know what awaits me. Who will I meet? What's going to happen? I know I can't say anything of who I REALLY am or that I'm simply a distant relative. No one would believe me." Her eyes misted. "As much as I'd love to see Souta and tell him the truth, I can't."

He reached across the table and rested a hand on hers, giving a small squeeze. "You're doing this for self peace-of-mind. So what if Souta or his family - if he has any - doesn't know who you are. You know and that's all that matters, isn't it? You're not going to the shrine and your family's tombstones to join them again; this all started from you wanting to move on. Don't worry yourself so much until you get there. Take little steps."

A jerky, teary nod answered him because her throat closed up. He was right and she knew it, but to be a Higurashi again sounded like a dream. But...she could never be Kagome and some part of her didn't want to, but it WAS the family she always wanted... She set chopsticks on the finished box and leaned back, taking a deep breath to calm herself. "You're right." She whispered, slowly turning to the window. "I know you are, but Kagome isn't exactly making this easy on me. I'm letting her get to me and I shouldn't."

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, getting stunned brown, but a minute smile. "You know I'm right here if you need me."

She blinked back tears from soft brown and nodded, bangs shadowing brown. "I...I know."

'Will you pull yourself together?? This IS a public restaurant and if people weren't staring at you, they will be at some crying gaijin and asking if there's a problem.'

She took a deep breath and held it, an old tactic she used to do to bury her feelings. It was a necessity and she didn't hesitate to use it. Once everything was done, or at least in front of her, she could deal. It would be hard to try and be strong with all these emotions allowing her to be weak. She was rather protective of what Kagome gave that completed her.

"Let's go." She replied, sliding from the booth. She ignored Inaki and made her way to the door, letting the cold air shock her out of the stupor.

Arms went around her waist and pulled her back a few inches. "Don't brush me off like that again." He lowly bit, trying not to feel insulted. "I know what you're doing - I still have my own memories you know... I don't want you to close off on me anymore. You didn't merge with Kagome to continue acting like the Kikyou part of your soul."

Hands clenched to fists as she stepped from his embrace and turned to face him, bangs shadowing eyes. "You don't understand... I don't want to break down until I see everything because I have a feeling it's going to hit hard and won't be merciful." She blinked away tears and looked away. "I - I don't want to deal just yet because I won't be able to handle it." She quickly wiped her eyes dry when they started to spill over and tightly embraced him. "I'll need you then more than ever to help get me back to the hotel at least. I'm going to need every ounce of support you can give when I fall."

He sighed and ran a hand through her hair, holding her tight. Brown took in the street as his jaw clenched. He hated watching her go through this and sound so defeated. She was like old Kalie when that girl seemed to lose hope quite easily.

It was going to be hard, that was a given, but the time distance and growing up in America should help. Of course, when Kagome freed Inuyasha from the tree after fifty years rest, everything was still the same in his mind just before he was pinned. He couldn't be a hypocrite, but it was still hard. "I'll be there for as long as you need me." He answered, giving her a quick kiss.

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It. Wasn't. There.

She stared in open shock at the area. Her body was frozen, face set in gaping mouth and wide eyes. She stared for what seemed the longest time before her legs moved forward, almost on their own. "D...Doko..." She breathed, taking another broken step. Her limbs jerked and moved as if free of each other and the commands of her brain. A hand moved out as if to touch the place and halted. "JINJA WA DOKO?!"

He jumped and quickly put a hand on her shoulder to draw her back to reality and calm down. "K...shikkari! There're people around."

She whipped to him, tears streaking down her pale face. "I - it's...not here... It's gone - they destroyed my home!" Hands fisted as she glared at the ground, feeling betrayed and empty. "Why? Why would Souta DO that?? It's not like him - I don't believe he would!"

He swore when she took off to the exact spot her house used to be on and ran to catch up. She seemed relieved and happy to see that Goshinboku's leaves could be seen blocks away. Her step hurried and he had to do as well to keep at her side. Only at the beginning of the block the shrine used to be on did she stop and react.

There was a two-story concrete and glass building where the shrine was. It filled almost all except a small courtyard that housed the enormous tree. It looked pretty new and in one stone block was carved the numbers two-oh-eight-eight. 'Ten years...this building has been here for ten years. Why would they tear down a SHRINE?! Isn't anyone worried about the powers that be that come with a shrine? Do the idiots think people put those buildings up to take space?? Why get rid of everything except Goshinboku??'

He was fuming. Kagome's home was as important to him as it was to her. He was glad the tree stayed intact - shit it had to be nearly a thousand years old by now!! - but why just that? Goshinboku was as important as every other building; it didn't make sense!

A shuddery breath drew him from mental ranting as they stopped on the sidewalk and he whipped to K. She was trying to take deep breaths to calm down, failing horribly. Her head was down to keep as many as possible from seeing her misery, fists clenched with arms barely trembling. "K...are - are you -"

She suddenly took off and ran to the building. He thought for one second she would start beating on it - that was as silly as it was stupid - but she cornered the first person spotted coming from the doors and grabbed what looked to be an expensive suit. He swore and took off, too stunned to know what she was planning and stop her.

"Where was the shrine that used to be here?!" She bit out in Japanese. She imagined the poor man was quite taken aback and somewhat scared of some gaijin suddenly coming off the street and threatening him, but she didn't give a rat's ass. All she knew was her home, the grounds, the well house, EVERYTHING was gone! She didn't have to worry about what she would say to Souta because there was no way to meet him.

"Let go of me - I don't know anything!"

"K - let that man go!"

Her glare became fiercer and her aura pulsated on low with anger. She let herself become intimidating - she wanted answers! "You have to know; you work here!" Her fists clenched even tighter and shook the man's western-style jacket a little as if to force words from him.

"There's a marker at the bottom of the building if you want to know." Hands wrenched the man free from her hold and a cold glare was sent her way. "I should call the police on you."

She ignored him and stared at the marker, reading the date. 'Twenty eighty-eight...ten years. So where is Souta??'

"You owe me an apology." She felt rather Kikyou-like in that moment as she turned a cold shoulder to the man and ran for Goshinboku. The last piece of her heritage left and she had to see it! "Hey! I'm calling the police!"

He skidded to a stop at the dreadful 'p' word and waved hands to get the man's attention. "Please sir, please don't! She didn't mean any harm; she's just in shock right now!" He bowed low as a way to appease the irate native. "I'm very sorry for her behavior."

"Your woman has a strange sense of how to act in public. What do foreigners know how to behave in Japan anyway?"

He bit his tongue in saying that he was foreign as well, but it was his only edge and kept it to himself. "She's not thinking clearly. I've never seen her do anything like this before - please don't send her to jail!"

"As long as you keep her from doing anything like that to some unsuspecting person, I won't."

Relief hit him and his shoulders sagged. He bowed again and smiled. "I will. Thank you very much sir. You aren't hurt, are you?"

The man grinned and went to grab a fallen briefcase. "Only my pride. Go grab your girlfriend and make sure to keep an eye on her."

He nodded and took off for the tree, seeing her slouched in front of the fence still surrounding it. He found that even odder, but slowed to a walk and almost crept up to her as he neared. "K...are you alright?"

She looked incredibly downtrodden and didn't turn to face him. "I didn't...hurt him did I?"

"No and I apologized for you. You're lucky he didn't throw your ass in jail. What were you thinking?? You can't just go and harass anyone you want for answers - there's a better way of finding information you know!"

If possible, her shoulders and head slumped even more. Brown stared at hands lying useless in her lap. It was more painful after some of the anger peeled away. Being in front of the tree never failed to calm her and that was dire just then. She marveled that the igaki and shimenawa were still there and looked undisturbed. It was a mystery, but then Goshinboku was never normal to begin with.

He sat with a huff, ignoring looks of those who worked and didn't work there, to see her face. "You going to keep causing trouble like you just did? I promised the man I'd watch you and frankly I have no desire for EITHER of us to go to jail for you irritating the populace. We didn't come to get physical; we came for you to get answers."

If he wanted to make her feel any guiltier than now, he just did. Shameful tears fell and she used most of her hair to cover it up. She was unable to answer him with the lump in her throat and couldn't. She was very horrible in her actions and had a distinct urge to find the man and beg for his forgiveness.

She knew she'd lose her head, but that was pathetic! 'Good going.' She berated. Self-anger rose but it was hard to hold onto it with the peace radiating from bark mere feet away.

"I'm...sorry..." She whispered. She stood abruptly and looked to high branches, praying for her old friend to help stop the tears. This was only going to get harder and seeing the shrine was SUPPOSED to be the easy part.

"Don't apologize to me," He grumbled, standing and dusting himself off, "that man is still watching you from across the way."

She turned and met black eyes of the native she threatened. Her head bowed, unable to look at him, but forced herself to move. She never met his eyes, even when she stopped in front of him. He was instantly on defensive, but she didn't hold it against him and again forced herself to swallow her pride.

Careful of the sidewalk and her jeans, she kneeled and bowed in such respect that he would be rude NOT to forgive her. She stared at his shoes and tried to calm down enough to talk. She could hear a crowd gathering at her display - some American gaijin acting more traditional than they probably were.

"Hontoni gomen nasai."

"S - stand up already! I accept your apology; just - just get off the ground!"

She did as requested and blinked at him in confusion. "I thought that was the only way to get your forgiveness. Was I wrong?"

The man looked at the small number of co-workers, face heating up. "No, you are quite correct...but you needn't have made such a spectacle of yourself."

"I wasn't worried about that as much as I was the shame I put us both through."

The man snorted, but his stance relaxed and gave a small smile. "In all the confusion, I never took note of your fluency and mannerisms. You have studied Japan and the language quite intensely, haven't you?"

She wanted to laugh. A grin popped up before she squelched most of it, though she nodded. "In a way. I didn't know a shrine could be torn down though. I thought they were too special." She stared at the building, mentally seething a little.

"This was bought by the government actually. I only know that because I was hired around the start time. I remember them putting this in. It was quite a shock to me as well."

She whipped to him, glad to be getting answers of any kind. Benevolence really paid off. "Really? Didn't any of the other shrines try to stop it?"

"As far as I know, whoever owned the land at the time sold it to the government and it was bought fair and square, so they couldn't. I'm old enough to know there WAS a shrine here, but not enough to know who owned it. I never remember visiting." Curious eyes turned her way. "Did you visit the shrine at one point? You look too young to remember it."

She blushed as his eyes raked her over. The man didn't seem past his thirty's, but if she wasn't careful, Inaki's jealousy - rather INUYAHSA'S jealousy - was going to get a fight picked.

Speaking of which...

She looked over and found said person staring into the branches as if to see the top...that or how to jump and sit on them. She smiled at such Inuyasha-like behavior and turned back.

"I - I used to live here quite a long time ago actually. Even if I don't look it, my heart has been here since." Not quite a lie, but not telling any details. Let the man think whatever he wanted; she wouldn't see him after today. "I'm just confused at how the tree still stands. If the whole plot was sold, why didn't it get chopped down?"

"They had an article in the paper about that actually. I remember reading about it...apparently the owners took stock of the area this building was going on and said they just couldn't tear it down. Not because the roots probably spanned a block or two and would be hell to get out, but said it didn't feel right. They left the fence and made sure construction workers didn't disrupt anything. The owner paid extra to keep it from being harmed in any way. Oddly enough, business has been pretty good."

'I bet.' The magic and protection of Goshinboku, if cared for properly, would've seen to that.

She stared at the building, this new information swirling her brain. She knew in her heart Souta would NEVER sell the shrine - not even for desperately needing money. Someone had to've scammed him, or there was something else going on. She couldn't believe he would sell it and then leave the tree up. Goshinboku was just as important as the well house or their home.

"Do you know if there's any way to see who bought the land here?"

"Why are you so interested in that shrine? There are plenty of other ones I can give you directions to if you don't remember where they are."

Black swished as she stared at the ground. "This place was...special to me. I wanted to see what became of it while I was in America and I can't let my soul rest until I find out why it was let go of so easily."

The shrine was owned by her grandfather and from what she remembered, jiisan lived here when he was a boy. This place was hers for generations and it hopefully passed to Souta instead of her after Kagome died.

"The only thing I know of is to look for newspapers ranging about ten to twelve years ago. This place took about a year to build and it sat empty for a little while before the owner bought it. You might be able to check archives at the library - they do that western kind of thing."

She smiled at the attempt of humor and bowed. "Thank you for giving me your time. I made you late for other engagements and I'm sorry. I apologize again for acting like I did. I didn't mean to and I was rather irrational when I saw this place."

"The shrine was that close to you?"

She meekly nodded, eyes misting. "It was...like my home..." She quickly looked away and tried to blink everything back.

"You are forgiven. Now that I know, it would be wrong to hold you accountable. I can't imagine if a place held that dear to me was torn down...you must be suffering greatly."

His concern was nice, but it was time to seek other answers. She knew of a library Kagome used to study at before the Sengoku adventure and would try there. The rest of the day would be spent there and she would forgo dinner if that's what it took.

"I am dealing." A wry smile entered. "Even if I crack at times." She bowed again and headed for Goshinboku, waving goodbye as they parted. She stopped next to Inaki and nudged him. "Hey you, I bowed and asked for forgiveness and managed to get some words out of him. We're heading for a library and I know where one is at - if THAT'S still standing anyway."

He didn't answer for a while, eyes still directed to a branch often occupied in his other time. "You know...the last time I saw this tree was...after I brought you home to your family for burial..."

Brown widened and fingers clutched at his sleeve. "No you don't! You don't get to be the depressed one here - that's my job today! Come on, if you go to pieces on me, how am I going to keep from going whacko again like I did on that poor guy?? Please Inaki, keep it together, I need you to be there for me! You're not Inuyasha anymore - that's over with."

His head bowed, digesting her words. She was right, but he had to reminisce. A tiny part of his soul, Inuyasha's mostly, felt friendship to the one place he spent a lot of his time...not counting the time stuck to it. It wasn't his prison, Kikyou's arrow was. He just happened to pass it and was actually lucky to be caught to this particular tree. It was one that defied time, as was seen by it being so old, yet healthy. If he wasn't pinned to that, he would've aged fifty years while asleep.

"You're right. I'm sorry to make you panic." He pulled her close and kissed her brow, looking to the business. "Such tragedy..." He murmured. "We can't let this go unanswered."

"I don't intend on it." She mentally swore right then she would not stop or leave Tokyo until she found out everything possible on this place. Talking to the owner wouldn't be beneficial. He bought the place from the government; she had to talk to the government instead. But that wouldn't get her far if they kept a tight lid on things unless she explained herself. That wasn't an option, so the library it was.

-----

Thankfully the library was still there. The look was a little altered to keep the building from crumbling, but inside was her concern. They headed in and she was astounded at the changes, but restrained emotions and headed for what she knew to be the newspaper section. That was in its old spot and she went for the desk in that area. There was an elderly woman there so she conjured up her most polite Japanese to butter the woman up.

"Do you have microfilm?" She asked, crossing fingers under the desk.

The secretary was surprised at her language use, but recovered well and pointed to a far wall. "Are you looking for a particular year or topic?"

"Ten to twelve years ago about a shrine that was sold and a business built over."

"Oh my, I remember that. It was quite an uproar to some that prayed there regularly." The woman's head shook as she tsked. "Kids these days."

Her heart accelerated with more news. "Kids?? You mean you know some details about it?"

The woman gave a look around at anyone else that might show up before finding it empty and walked from the counter. They followed as she went for the file cabinets. "I know what I read and I know there are some things in the paper. We don't keep copies anymore - one of the managers suggested the way they do it in America and we've done it ever since." The woman stopped and gave her a questioning look. "You're gaijin; where are you from?"

She smiled, trying not to let her patience snap at being so close. "America."

The woman chuckled before looking around typed dates on the handles. "I'll be - I wondered. We get a lot of gaijin to Japan, but not many to the library. Do you know how to read kanji?"

She nodded and pointed to Inaki with a grin. "He learned as well."

He snorted and brushed her finger away. "Don't drag me into this! It's not my fault."

The woman gave him a surprised look. "You're gaijin?? I'm surprised."

He grinned. "My great, great grandparents went over when my hisofusan was a baby."

"My, that's quite a long time ago." The woman pulled a drawer open and fingers flipped through boxes. "Give this a try. If not, just put it back the way you found it and try a little farther." She snatched it from the woman's fingers as if it were gold. They wandered to the machines and the woman showed them how to use one. "I'll be at the desk if you need anything."

"Thank you very much for your help." She bowed a little.

"You're very welcome. Such nice young people you are. I am still a little shocked that those kids would sell the shrine like that. I used to take my children there years ago. Such a beautiful place; such a beautiful tree."

Her hand clenched, nails biting into her skin. "Yes...it was beautiful..." She inaudibly muttered. Shaking her head, she faked a smile and turned to pull up a chair. The machine was already on and hooked up from the woman's directions, so she began at the front and started twirling the knob.

It took a few minutes to regain fluent hiragana again, but after that she skimmed titles of front pages before heading to the next date. She went through half the first roll before having Inaki look as well, since he was just looking over her shoulder. It would save time and they would be more productive. She knew he wouldn't want to stay here all night, or at least until they closed, so they had to make the most of it because she WOULD come all the way back tomorrow.

Four rolls of film later, they were no closer. She was beginning to think this library didn't have anything until she rolled past pages and the kanji for 'shrine' caught her eye. She quickly went back to the beginning and read every possible piece containing it. There was a small series done on the event, from the beginning announcement to public outcry, to a final piece on its sale and what would be done with it. The articles spanned two and a half months, but were relatively small until one reached the interviews.

The old woman was right about people being displeased. Many offered to take up ownership to keep the shrine from being shut down when they heard what would be done with it. There was a petition to keep it from being sold, but those selling it obviously didn't care. Many wanted to pledge yen since it seemed to be about money and dislike of the idea of being a shrine owner.

In the end, her kin won out.

Knuckles turned white as she stared at the beginning articles containing names of her future family. She was enraged and it boiled inside her like a plague. She wanted to scream, to curse them for what they did, but one question rose. What did they do to her baby brother??

She went to the very beginning pieces and read each carefully, looking for Souta's hiragana. She didn't see it until later, when the kin were interviewed about why they were giving up the shrine. It was short and didn't give much, but one word stood out that shook her to the core.

She couldn't breathe, couldn't move. Her body sat like stone on the seat as brown stared at the characters. Her hand slowly dropped from the roller, banging on the counter like a weight and slipping off to hang dead in the air.

'Uso...USO! It can't be! No - no!! Not him, anyone but him. Why is the world so cruel? Why is FATE so cruel??'

She never heard Inaki's presence until a hand rested on her shoulder. She exhaled a pent-up, shaky breath and slouched against the back. "Aitsu...Souta wa..."

He glanced at the article she was still looking at, brow furrowed. "K, what is it?"

"Shinatta." She quietly answered. Her voice was dead in her ears. "He really died."

He was shocked and his hand slipped from her shoulder. A picture of the boy Inuyasha gave Tessaiga to flashed in his mind. Such seriousness at the death of his sister, but there was a light in the boy's eyes that showed his innocence. Every time he visited, Souta talked to him. He felt safer around the boy, like he could let his guard down. There was no worry about trying to be strong around someone that honestly didn't care as long as he had a big sword.

Sorrow flared, but he shoved it aside and kneeled next to the chair. It was the only way he could see K's eyes and was stunned at what he saw.

Anger. She was so thoroughly pissed he didn't know if it was a good idea to detract her from whatever thoughts were going around her head and have her vent it. In a public place where whispers were the only thing allowed - even that was pushing it - she would definitely get thrown in jail for disrupting the peace.

_"We're not interested in a shrine. Times have changed and it's not possible for a person to make a living - or even live comfortably - with the meager amount that comes with tending, cleaning, and living in such a place."_

Eyes and heart turned to ice at what she read. Brown was stuck on the interview with her family - what sounded like money-hungry whelps instead of spiritual Shintoists. How DARE they do that!

_"We know people aren't happy with our decision...we know because we had to put up with the disapproving looks, horrible words, and crowds that keep knocking on our door begging us to reconsider."_

'Oh how sad for you.' She retorted.

_"But those people don't understand what it's like to live with divorced parents and being your own legal guardian. We didn't want to get stuck in the middle of our parents' divorce like that and it's not possible to live on our own. I don't know why ojiisan willed the shrine to me and imoto anyway - we never wanted it."_

Even though she was from a divorced family and knew what it was like, what they were saying when they meant the middle of things, she continued to seethe and dig nails into palms. Pain had gone from extreme to numb and if she wasn't careful she was finally going to break skin.

It took a long time before she calmed down and managed to breathe any degree. She ignored Inaki's presence to soak in her loathing. He wouldn't be able to do much for her except be a verbal punching bag and she did that enough to him already. True he was supposed to be there for her at times like this, but right now she wanted to hit something, not turn to someone.

"Yu...yurusan..." She grit out, barely able to get through with as tight as her jaw was.

She was practically radiating hostility - he didn't need demon powers to know that - and for a second he thought she was going to vibrate off the chair she was shaking so hard. on now. You're going to draw attention. Remember that man you harassed? You're worse than that and if you don't take some deep breaths, you're going to get yourself in a whole lot of trouble."

His words slowly seeped in. Kagome's anger always managed to scare and cower Inuyasha, but at least Inaki was handling it better by trying to soothe her instead of get irritated or hide.

It took quite a while to compose herself and she finally shut the light off with overflowing disgust. "Such horrid family I have..." She muttered, turning in the chair to cover her eyes and rest elbows on knees.

He moved before she beamed him in the head and steadily watched for any volatile action. Hands slowly covered knees after what felt like enough time for it to be safe and not have her take out everything on him. A trip to the hospital wasn't on the agenda.

Her mind was oddly empty, but her body seethed with so many emotions. She tried to push them back and was pretty successful. She would deal with it later and scream her head off when no one could hear. That sounded rather nice; that and a REALLY good cry.

The shrine was gone and Kagome had most definitely disappeared more than just death. She assumed the well house was torn up because she didn't see any trace of it anywhere. Not that she wanted to go to the Sengoku, but it would've been fun to see if it worked.

Wouldn't THAT have been icing on the cake of this whole situation!

She sat back with a sigh and looked to the dark contraption. It still had to be used, considering she needed names and addresses. Now that one question had been solved, she needed to conjure a plan to solve another.

Where in the world her family's grave markers were.

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100 correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations:** Heisei Jidai-1989 - Gaijin-Foreigner Jinja wa doko-Where's the (Shinto) shrine Igaki-Wooden railing surrounding shrine (or enshrined object)

Shimenawa-Straw rope with white zigzag paper strips; marks the boundary to something sacred and can be found on torii gates, around sacred trees and stones, etc

Aitsu...Souta wa-He's...Souta is Shinatta-He died/He's dead Yurusan-Same as yursunai w/o I


	70. Ch 70 12,17,2098 7th Commentary

He asked himself for the dozenth time why they were walking the way back to the hotel when a train would've been faster. This was sure cheaper, but he was paying the price by more exercise than when practicing Kempo.

She didn't say one word as they left the area they spent at least two hours in. It unnerved him a little at the utter even, emotionless, totally Kikyou-like look on her face. She seemed to not care that Kagome's entire world was turned upside down, but he knew better. This was all Kalie and no Kalie / Kagome mix right here.

This was the girl who seeped in her emotions instead of letting them known to the world.

He could understand her reasoning for keeping so quiet. An outburst in the middle of public was not a good idea. He wondered if that's why she bit out she wanted to trek back. Maybe she needed the walk to burn some anger.

Walking turned out to be a mildly good idea. At least it gave her legs something to do when she badly wanted to pace in the library in agitation. The hands jammed into her jeans saved from being painful fists by sticking thumbs through the belt loops. Nails dug into her skin, but the brisk pace she set for them kept a small lid on the overflow of so many bad emotions.

Her mind was oddly blank except for two things. Higurashi En and Higurashi Kyojaku. Brown narrowed on the sidewalk in a near death glare.

What would they be like? Their names oddly fit for what she knew of them so far by reading the interviews. She tried to picture their faces but couldn't. It would've been simpler to have a mental idea to direct everything at before meeting them.

It would make despising them easier.

It was mildly amusing that Kagome didn't really hold grudges, stay angry long, or truly hate much - besides Naraku. This was mostly her with Kagome's surprise, disbelief, and sadness mixed in. She would hate for the poor half of her soul because it seemed unable to since Kikyou took that when they split.

It was not a good idea to visit the pair, even though looking them up in the phone book would be effortless. Part of her wanted to do so today and get it over with, but she was so disgusted she didn't want to look at her great nephew and niece. Thinking about what she would try to say without bitching them out or talking spitefully only made her angry all over again.

Her stomach growled for food, but she cruelly ignored it. Now was not the time for anything in her body to go awry or start making its presence known, since she was more apt to be mean and let it affect her - it would be one nice distraction from anger at least.

She didn't care if the walls of her gut started dining on themselves before they got back or if it pained her; she craved the anger radiating from her with an aura all its own. Some small part of her mind - Kagome's rational maybe? - whispered that she was acting a little too much like Kikyou in holding onto her anger, but she turned a deaf ear to that.

He kept watching her out of the corner of his eye. The explosion when she got a chance was going to be huge. He expected either tears, screaming, both, physical and / or verbal violence. She surely wasn't taking this very good, even if it had nothing to do with Kalie specifically. Maybe he would get lucky and she would silently fume for a while before Kagome would take over and maybe whisper it was in the past and there was no making up for it.

That was, unless this WAS Kagome's doing.

He felt Inuyasha's panic and subdueness kick in and fought it. Now was a good time to be fully Inaki and act more caring than his counterpart. It was an eerie, uneasy feeling he kept getting from Inuyasha; like a cold finger slowly rubbing its way up his spine and making his skin bump.

He waved to the front desk clerk that called out a hello as they entered. He gave a smile to offset the girl and keep eyes off of K's behavior. Words of concern might just set her off and he really WOULD be fearful if that was the case!

He kept a subtle, watchful eye on her in the elevator. She still didn't say a word and he was anxious to say something. But it was like risking petting a dog you knew could and WOULD bite you at any second.

'Nice analogy.' He resisted a smirk.

She seemed a little more passive though. He hoped being in surroundings that were her home away from home for a time would screw with whatever was going on in her head and dislodge some of it.

She was the one to open the door to their room and close it. She didn't bang it like he expected. He still didn't know what to do or say - some comfort and voice of reason HE was - so dumbly watched her walk around zabuton recently added to sit on a low eating table like what his family had and stare out the window.

The silence was going to start getting annoying and the buzzing in his ears from it was grating his nerves. Her actions were affecting him a little and he couldn't have that. He needed to keep a level head. He stared at long, Kagome-like tresses for what seemed an eternity before commands to move his legs kicked in and he walked to see her and hopefully jog her from this.

He blinked at the slight furrow to her brow; the redness of her eyes; the tears streaming that came faster than he ever saw anyone cry. He slowly kneeled, body attuned to any shift she'd make. He remained inches away, brown keeping avid watch of her face, resolved to touch her when she needed it. He didn't want to force anything and make her think something not needed, so she had to make the first move.

She stared at nothing, gaze fixed on some point from open shoji. The chill did nothing to her skin; she couldn't feel it right now...even with the emotions swirling inside. She could see him in her peripheral vision, but this seemed like the same time when she told him about her family after much mental berating. It seemed so long ago that she acted so secretive to Inaki, but time rewound itself and placed different instances for her to suffer through.

It took all of one second after butt made contact with table - she could care less if she was sitting on their dining furniture - and a simple question of why for the waterworks to start.

Why...why would the latest Higurashi do such a disgraceful thing; why couldn't Souta have willed the shrine to his children; why was her house torn down...

Why did Souta have to die?

She didn't have the mental energy to calculate his age, nor could she remember the exact month he was born. She knew how many years younger he was than Kagome, but couldn't take much more right now.

'I wish...I could've seen him once more. Even as an old man with bad hearing and sight. Maybe he would've known it was me without needing to tell. It's not fair - Kagome didn't even get to see Souta for weeks when she was in the Sengoku.' Her brow creased a little further, division between halves blurring. 'I...didn't even get to say goodbye...'

That did it. She slouched over, features crumpling, hands covering face. Unconsciously, she leaned to Inaki and was thankful when arms wound around her as she lost the will to remain upright.

He gingerly pulled her off the top and onto his lap, letting her curl against him and bury her face in his neck. Her sobs ate at his heart, pitiful rambling stoking Inuyasha's need for vengeance.

A hand rose and stroked through hair. He didn't say a word when her fist rose and beat on his thigh in frustration, still verbally venting. He knew a bruise would form later, but it was forgivable.

He was amazed after some time she was still crying with the same intensity as she started. Was it possible for one person to have this many tears; this much heartache? She held it in more than he thought and more successful than he ever could with anything of this magnitude. He respected her for everything she did and didn't do since they left the library now. The trials of her predicament were harder on her than he thought.

It seemed someone opened up a Pandora's Box of despair that was also the proverbial black hole. There was only so much horror one person could take before it burst at the seams. Coming now seemed like the worst idea in the world if THIS was what Kagome needed her to see.

'Why did the shikon put us so far into the future? If I had to feel this from Kagome's emotions, I would've rather not known. Why did I suggest coming? I knew nothing would be the same...but I also didn't know it would be this different. Midoriko-sama...why...why did you take away everything I ever loved??'

Though the shikon's magic was now dispersed, somewhere deep in her own conscious produced an answer as if Midoriko was trying to say it herself.

Watery eyes peeked open as the full impact of it washed over her. 'I'm not Kagome anymore. I'm Kalie Himmen. I'm no more Kagome or Kikyou than Kagome was Kikyou, or Kikyou is myself. It's not right for me to abandon my entire life for my reincarnate because she didn't live as long as Souta. She lived a full life regardless of age and didn't try to fight to stay alive, even with a serious wound.'

It was easy to forget who she really was at times with the blending of souls. She was one person with two extra sets of emotions and memories besides her own. With all the excitement and knowledge of Kagome as a person, she often lost herself in that persona since she figured it better than herself.

There wasn't an easy explanation without delving into the philosophical and depth of unknown after death. Kagome was her emotional twin - a living entity and essentially her, but still different. Kagome was alive in her head, simply lacking a separate body, so it seemed right to call her a twin. After all, what are most twins but one egg divided from itself in the womb? Same looks, same voice, even same thoughts in theory, but different personalities.

Knowing this and reiterating it helped to distance her from the issue of Kagome's life. This was why she needed to do this trip and see so many painful things. 'So I can finally live my own life...'

He stared at the crown of her head when shoulders stopped heaving, ramblings quieted, and tears appeared abated. He waited with somewhat held breath, pondering what she'd do next. Was it time for her to blow up or was she asleep? He speared the wall a dry glance at that, but shrugged it off. She needed rest anyway.

She slowly shifted and met his eyes, a hand inching up to wipe her face. She imagined she was quite the mess right now. Brown stared at brown for what seemed forever before she gently scooted away and stood.

He startled as she turned her back to him. "Where are you going?" He shot to his feet and took a step in preparation to follow.

"To blow my nose and wash my face." She quietly answered, heading for the very tiny toilet room. She pulled the door back and flicked the wall light on. "I imagine I don't look very good right now. Oh gods I don't. Ugh."

He dumbly stood as she shut the door behind and the sound of running water met his ears. "What the fuck?" He mumbled.

Had she lost her mind??

Only moments ago, K was fiercely sobbing against him and even beating him - in a way - in her sorrow. Now she showed no emotional traces of ever crying. Her voice was steady, if not a little monotone, and her shoulders set normally.

She leaned on the little sink, careful not to break hinges connecting it to the wall, and stared at her reflection in the relatively small mirror.

"I am not you anymore." She murmured, solemnly looking at brown. "You changed my eyes and hair when we were at odds and I don't know how to change them back, but I don't blame you for that. I understand your pain, but you can't make me feel the same depth I just went through anymore. I may have your attributes and powers, but those were still mine to begin with. I just didn't know they were." She stepped back and leaned against the opposite wall, dull eyes drifting to tile. "I am not you, nor am I Kikyou. I am a byproduct of you both. I know you understand me Kagome, so please make this easy on me wherever you are. If you are still inside me somewhere, please hear my words. I will finish finding out what happened to your family, but then I am going to live my own life with Inaki. The fact that we were predestined to meet and fall in love I don't care about. He loves me for me and that's all I keep in mind."

No voice appeared in her head, no extra set of emotions reared. She was truly one person now and although she was mildly relieved at having her own life, it didn't make finding herself easier. The catch twenty-two would always go round and round in her mind. 'I will still find ways to keep myself though.'

The door finally opened and he rushed to it. "What were you doing in there? I didn't hear water run for very long. Are you okay? You should lie down for a while and get some rest. Just say the word and I'll pull out a futon for you and set it up."

A smile rose at his concern, but her head shook. "I'm not that tired, but even if I was, I don't want to sleep. I don't want to review her life right now in my dreams."

Lips closed from saying something else as he studied her features again. Something seemed to change about her and this was familiar. "Are you okay?"

She looked to the open window again, a little wistful. "I'll survive. I have so far, haven't I?"

The behavior was too Kalie-minus-Kagome-like that he moved before thinking. A hand gripped her chin and directed her to face him and answer him straight out. "You are not going to pull away from me. I won't allow it and you're not going to argue with me on this. I don't want you handling this by yourself and one good cry is not going to help you get over it all."

Brown dulled, though she didn't resist his hold. "I know that. I won't be entirely Kalie and push you away, but I can't be more Kagome than myself. I...I just got a little mixed up in who I was recently. I just thought to myself I will never be and don't want to be Kagome. Her life is too sad now." A sardonic grin crossed her face. "And here I thought SHE had the better life."

He let her go, but still held her attention. "Why do you say that? Are you saying the only reason you accepted Kagome was because of the supposed glamour of her life? YOU had a lot going for you as it was."

"You'd think that because you aren't me." She bitterly answered, sinking to the floor in cross-legged position. He followed, intently watching her. "To be born with only hate and love the fuel behind your soul - no matter who your family is - is no way to live. Kikyou had nothing and I 'inherited' that. I grew up Kalie, but it's never easy to get out of who my soul is."

"You're not going to go all Kagome on me and do the whole I'm-Kagome-not-Kikyou, are you?"

She gave a halfhearted glare. "You're not kept out of this with Inuyasha being the rest of YOUR soul. You have the same issues I do, but your life here was more solid than mine. That's why you fought him so venomously and so long. Kagome had a loving family, the rest of my emotions, a perfect love - basically everything I lacked. I thought accepting her would be what I needed, but that's not the case." She sighed and looked to tatami. "Kagome is only known to me and you. Her life and any trace of it is dead here - even the Higurashi she is related to are not like her. Now I'm the one with any kind of a family, friendship, jobs, security, love life, and dreams of the future. This trip showed me that, even if it was hard."

A hand reached out and took hers, giving a small squeeze. "So, what do you want to do now? Wasn't this mostly Kagome's unknown prodding to get you to come here? If you're resolved to be more Kalie than Kagome, do we have a reason for staying?"

She nodded, idly looking around the room and stopping at his eyes. "Yes. I need to know why and where. I want details from En and Kyojaku on why they sold the shrine and where...where the graves are. I have to see everything to be able to put it behind me. The big pieces of Kagome's life must be put to rest before I can find my own path." She suddenly grinned and took her hand back. "Sound familiar?"

He smirked very Inuyasha-like. "Just remember, you said it not me."

She snorted. "Then you know why I have to do this. It's just as painful as Inuyasha trying to get over Kikyou. The severity of the actions he took no matter what they did to him or others had to be done to move on inside."

"I understand perfectly, so we won't leave until you get some loose ends tied up." He pulled her against him, seeing as how she looked a little hunched over. "So when do you want to go visit those ungrateful little relatives of Kagome?"

Lips twitched through a yawn. She fought to keep eyes open and looked at the tokonoma. "Not now. I don't feel like it."

He twisted to look at her. A chuckle escaped. "No wonder - you're about ready to fall asleep. You never listen to me you know. Still want that futon?"

"No...you'll do..."

He snorted, head shaking. "So, when ARE we going then?" Silence answered and he twisted again. Soft, even breathing sounded and he sighed. A quick look around found him in the middle of the room with no way to scoot back and even lean against a wall without waking her. "Tomorrow it is I guess."

-------------------------------------------------

Sunlight met her eyes without mercy and they squeezed shut as she rolled over. Blindly, a hand grabbed covers and pulled them over her head.

She stayed in blissful dark and warmth, curled up and able to go back to sleep if her mind wished it enough. But something was wrong with the situation she was in and with wrinkled brows; she gradually shifted and stuck her head into the light.

When the hell did she get the futon out?!

She looked around the room and found it empty and devoid of Inaki. The toilet room was visible, so he wasn't in there.

She stared at closed shoji window until everything yesterday came back and she sunk against pillows with a sigh. So it wasn't one of Kagome's dreams coming to her as they did every night. 'Rats.' She humorouslessly snorted and sat up with a groan. A quick stretch, back scratch, and yawn before she stood and yelped at the chill of tatami. For a second, the covers looked real inviting, but the mystery of Inaki's whereabouts was more pressing.

"He better not have gone out to eat without me." She grumbled, finger combing her hair to some semblance of normal.

Would he be in the furo? It was likely, but she didn't see any of his stuff disturbed. Wandering the halls didn't sound as fun with her stomach nearly empty from ignoring it yesterday and skipping dinner. She had no desire right now to go traipsing around the vicinity in her pajamas, but would need a bath before putting clothes on.

She stopped short in the hall and looked to herself, eyes widening.

She was in her pajamas!

A blush stained her face and embarrassment followed. 'Why that little rat - when the hell did he take my clothes off?! I don't sleep THAT deeply.' She grumbled, vowing to take out her annoyance on the person responsible, even if it was incredibly nice of him. Undressing her and dressing her in sleepwear, setting the futon up and putting her in it...all without one hentai thought.

She frowned, all but sulking as arms crossed when she continued on. 'I just HAD to miss out on an opportunity like that. Damn it...it would've been nice to wake up to him feeling me up.'

As brazen and odd as that statement was, it was true. Sex with Inaki was better than almost anything she could think of and she definitely would lie to herself to think she didn't want it whenever a chance presented itself. Not to mention Inaki doing all that was extremely romantic and most frustration and irritation evaporated at that notion.

She smiled and headed for the front desk area in hopes that someone would've noticed her wayward boyfriend somewhere. It was kind of hard to miss someone with as long and gorgeous of hair that Inaki possessed. No way would he do a full Inaki and put it in a braid anymore - Inuyasha's influence wasn't to the point of Kagome's, but it was still there.

He looked SO much better with his hair wild like human Inuyasha's used to be and her insides quaked on a normal basis when he directed a certain look her way...hair falling just so over his back...

Her head quickly swished to dislodge those kinds of thoughts. They were a long way before this trip could be for fun yet. Besides, she just had sex with him a few nights ago! 'Gods, who's the Miroku-sama wannabe here??'

When she inquired about his location, or if he was even in the lobby recently, she only got a pointed finger. Following its general direction found that beautiful head of hair and she gave a quick bow of thanks before heading to it. Why Inaki was sitting outside on a cold morning like this was beyond her, since it looked like it was going to rain - no wait, snow - anytime now. It was cold enough for it, or enough to make everything an icy mess at least.

She smiled and tried to pull the doors open as quietly as possible. It would be good enough to put off visiting the Higurashi family for a little longer if she got to play in snow. That would be the highlight of the trip so far and a blessed happiness amongst melancholy.

It was amazing he hadn't heard her yet, or just figuring she was some random customer, as she softly padded right behind him. She looked to the morning sun, finding it at the tale end of a sunrise and admired the view for a second.

Brown finally looked to the top of pitch, resisting to ruffle his hair in adoration. "You know, I now give you more credit than I normally did."

He jumped and whirled around, nearly knocking her over with an errant arm. "I thought you were asleep! What're you doing up so early??"

A brow rose. "What do you mean? I've probably been asleep for over ten hours by now. Besides, the sun woke me up again. I didn't see you so I went on a hunt." Foot lightly nudged him for making her search. "Thanks for the exercise by the way, but what're you doing outside? You'll get sick and that's ALL we need."

He snorted and stood, brushing his rear off. She noted he was still in pajamas too and momentarily pouted that she missed him changing. 'Damn it Unsei-sama! You're against me here, aren't you?'

"I'm fine; getting sick in cold weather is an old wife's tale anyway." He stepped around for the door and held it open. "Why don't you go get a bath and we can get some breakfast." He spied a clock on the wall and smirked. "Or maybe lunch by the time you get done."

"Hey!" She slapped arm and gave a quick look to the outside when something tickled her aura in weak traces. "Picking on me when I'm not fully awake to give a good retort...hidoi!"

"Yea whatever. Get your kicks in on me later - let's get going."

"Chotto. I have a question."

"Wha - " He turned to ask, but she was no longer next to him. He blinked and waited as she talked to the desk clerk, confusion mounting when a happy look crossed his girlfriend's face. He blinked as she nearly skipped back, totally offset by such different behavior than what he expected from duties looming over them. "What was THAT all about?"

She beamed and continued to the room. "Oh...nothing much. I just wanted to know what the weather was going to do today is all."

He blinked, making to look out the front door, but they passed too far for that. "Why? You already know it's winter here and colder than Florida will ever be...what more do you need?"

She merely smiled and didn't answer, plans swirling in her head. She marveled at how her powers developed so far and what they reacted to in Kagome's old hometown. It was a given that a lot of magic used to occur in this country, but it shouldn't have saturated into the atmosphere. But who knew what could happen since the Heisei.

'Yea...' Her good mood dimmed at thought of the shrine and its replacement. 'No kidding.'

-----

She made sure to take a little extra time washing and soaking. She indulged in the heat, knowing she'd need it a bit. Childish excitement was practically making her shake in anticipation. She hoped Inaki hadn't noticed; she wanted to be the first to tell him - as silly as that sounded.

She was ecstatic to hear a pretty big snowstorm was supposed to hit within the next few hours and was warned to stay inside. She took in the warning, but still asked what stands or restaurants would be open for lunch. Of course a business wouldn't close simply because it was slow for one day.

"You know...if I weren't such a patient and nice person I would've been able to head back, get dressed, come back, and still be waiting for you to get out of there. Remind me not to take you to an onsen while we're here."

She stuck her tongue out at him and tightened the robe on the yukata. "I am not going to take responsibility for desiring a good soak in steamy hot water. Besides, there's a method to my madness."

"Then please share with the class. What're you taking so much time for?"

She smiled and smothered a giggle. "You'll see soon enough."

He shut the door to their room and gave an odd look. She was acting totally out of character for them going to see Kagome's relatives. K was not capable of distancing herself from ALL of Kagome's emotions, as was indication of that yesterday. She was too acquainted with them and they were too incorporated, not to mention precious, to be discarded like this. All he could do was be left in the dark and trust her on whatever was going on in her head, since she wasn't going to share.

He pulled hair out from under sweater and made for pants. He stopped upon catching a distinct, but quiet sigh and almost growling from K. He finished zipping up jeans and turned to her. "Is there a problem?" He asked, ready to go check her forehead for fever. Delirium would explain her behavior at least.

Lips pressed together as she had the audacity to blush now that his attention was hers. It was funny that she did so now when they both stripped and got dressed in plain sight of the other.

Both grin and pout warred for dominance as she tried to stick with one mood swing. "I realized this morning you changed my clothes and stuck me in the futon while I was asleep." Arms crossed as she looked to the wall, face heating up more. "I hate it when I miss chances like that."

His lips twitched in confused amusement, but until she made perfect sense, he was still a little clueless. Sure he could theorize all he wanted, but never hypothesize a woman's thoughts.

He headed over and stopped in front of her. "Meaning?"

She grinned self-consciously, but got to admire the snugness of his sweater with him being so close. Lips pressed together as she gave him a good raking, knowing he was looking. "Do I have to explain myself? Can't you just get it from that?"

Brown rolled. Looks like she'd need a little prodding. Arms pulled her to him, fully aware she was in only a long-sleeved shirt and underwear. That did nothing to keep him from being turned on, but he forced some of it down and stuck his hand under her shirt to touch flesh. "In all my years of dating, I know that women are complicated creatures. If I try to guess your thoughts, I'll be here all day."

Hmm, being here all day didn't sound horrible. The snow was looking less and less inviting, but she could give a rat's ass about frozen water right now.

"Well...I was just thinking that I always miss...good opportunities... I just HAD to sleep through you...changing my clothes." She breathed, trying to keep her mind from collapsing.

He wolfishly grinned and nuzzled her neck. "Well you're relatively clothed now. Would you like me to rehash everything?"

A harsh swallow bobbed her throat as she seriously considered it. Her body burned already at mere mention of what he would do to her. "I - " She gasped when his hand delicately moved over her underwear and squeezed. Thoughts flew from her head as skin became hypersensitive and the thought that he was fully clothed didn't escape her.

Was it right to do this to her while she was under such obligation to her past self? She had relatives to talk to and graves to visit. Yet, she seemed pretty much okay. Maybe she really was going to be more Kalie than Kagome. It would certainly help her deal if she kept the two things separate.

So he felt no shame when fingers skipped to her front and delved between cotton. His blood boiled and finding how ready she was and it was a fight not to throw her to the floor.

She whimpered and clutched sweater, eyes closing in bliss. His fingers were sweet torture and she forgot the reason they were even getting dressed. She should've attacked him the second he disrobed from the yukata - which made him extremely sexy at the time too. How she was able to withstand THAT sight was amazing.

She attacked his lips and he returned with equal speed and hunger. He toyed with her, turning them both on and delaying the inevitable. His hand moved in a mockery of what he wanted to do, but it was enjoyable nonetheless.

She pulled away and moved to suck on his neck, but part of his sweater got in the way. Utterly frustrated, she glared and reared back, gripping fabric with little thought to tearing it. "Off. Now."

He smirked, but wordlessly complied, letting the bulky object flop on the floor. Hands ran over his torso, firing his senses.

He pulled at the hem of her shirt, pulling it above her bra and bunching it near her collarbone. He freed a breast from its confines and lavished it with his tongue, getting a few gasps. His fingers continued almost separate from everything else, as needy as his own body was.

Who pulled the other to the floor was unknown. Somehow, they ended up on their knees, her rear facing him. Such a nice little posterior he always had to admire under some kind of clothing. Now given this opportunity, he entered her, hands gripping hips and watched.

A hand clasped over her mouth when she cried out, not wanting people to think she was being attacked...not in a bad way at least. She wasn't really a vixen, but it was hard not to be aggressive when he turned her on this bad.

They moved together after he raised the pace. He would've liked to look at her, but the curve of the small of her back was pretty enticing and a hand ran over it almost reverently.

This was the first time they were in this position and the angle and depth at which he took her was too much. She cried out his name, losing the battle at keeping it down, nails digging against tatami.

What was it with a girl crying out their lover's name? He found it so tantalizing and it only served to spur him on. It wasn't long before he followed her over the edge and grasped her waist to the point of leaving bruises.

It took some effort and careful maneuvering, but he managed to sit on his haunches and have her resting over him, still joined. He didn't want to disengage so shortly after, but they could not remain like that. "Now I need another bath." She mumbled, grinning.

Hands traced over mildly sweaty skin, getting a few shivers. He nipped her shoulder in annoyance. "And take too long again? Don't think so. Deal with it for today and get one tonight."

No more was said for quite some time until a sudden chill of winter temperatures reminded her exactly WHY they were getting dressed in the first place. Embarrassment rose and she mildly felt like an idiot, but it was easy to brush off in the afterglow. "A - ano...we should get dressed."

"Cold?"

Embarrassment inched up. "Actually...I wanted to go outside for a bit and...um..." Her stomach gave the barest spurts of a growl. "I'm kinda hungry."

His head dropped to her shoulder, body shaking in a laugh. "I shouldn't be surprised; you haven't eaten in over twelve hours. I'm surprised you even had enough energy for sex."

She smirked and slowly leaned away, savoring the feeling of them parting, though it made her feel empty. She turned to kiss him, trying to keep eyes off his lap. "You'd be amazed where my reserves come from."

"Is that an invitation?"

She hadn't meant that as an innuendo, but her stomach saved her from another round. She didn't have a problem going again, but the beast needed to be sated. She swatted him and grabbed his sweater to throw at him. "Not now it isn't. We've let enough time pass by so things should be okay now."

He grabbed jeans and boxers before heading to the sink to clean off a bit. "What do you mean by that?"

She took that chance to sneak a peek outside while he was distracted and brown widened. The streets were blanketed in a film of snow; how wide she didn't know, but that was enough for her.

"You'll see in a bit."

-----

"Ja jan!"

"Why didn't you tell me about this??"

"Surprise."

Brown rolled, but he smiled and carefully made his way down steps. "I see - you just wanted me to try and break my neck on this didn't you?"

She tsked and grabbed railing. "Take all the romance out of it. You're no fun." She pulled him in the direction to the station. "I know of this park that Kagome used to go to. It's city-protected so it'll still be there."

He followed and they arrived at Chuo Park after a small pit stop for lunch. By then the snow was almost four inches deep and still falling. It was going to be pretty heavy from what he heard and there wasn't enough of a wind to make it stick.

At least it was powder snow. If it was humid enough to make it stick, it would melt and be all icy.

Not to mention she would pelt him with enough snowballs to soak his clothes.

He wouldn't put K above that right now, now after looking at the enthralled expression on her face. She put the plans on hold to play in the snow, which didn't seem like her, but he could see why. Who knew if they'd be able to do this again while they were here?

They walked around for a while, taking in the area. It was like a wonderland and it seemed deserted. The distance sound of trains zooming around and the few cars daring to drive in this, though not visible by now, made it seem like the real world and this place separated with an invisible wall. The noises weren't unwelcome and added to the majesty of everything.

She could stay like this all day. It filled her heart to see this spectacle for the first time, even if her hair accumulated enough snow to soak it. She should've bought a cap instead of just earmuffs, but her head was warm enough with the mop on her head.

"It's so gorgeous. I wish we could stay like this for the rest of the day."

Arms went around her and pulled her against him. "That'd be nice, but I'm not risking frostbite."

"Che, you're no fun. Come on, Inuyasha used to be able to stand such freezing temperatures, why can't the mighty Inaki?"

"I'm not dignifying that with a response."

She giggled and took off in a jog just to hear the snow crunch underfoot. She headed off the trail, ignoring looks of the few natives who were out enjoying this. She could hear Inaki's footsteps behind as he fought to catch up but she paid him no mind.

When was the last time she acted so immaturely?

She stopped at a pond and took time to catch her breath. She turned to apologize for taking off without word and found Inaki nowhere in sight. She sighed, breath fogging. "The baka must've slipped. Why didn't he tell me? I would've stopped and helped him up." She shrugged and turned to watch snow fall on ice. He would catch up, since her prints were visible and not likely to be covered up that fast.

She was so content; there was no other way to explain it. She felt like a cd that got stuck on a scratch and kept repeating, but couldn't help it. It was SO beautiful out here...

Crunching sounded behind her and she grinned. "What the hell did you fall for? If I can keep my balance, I know YOU can. Some martial artist you - "

Inaki, wherever he was, was not here, though she wished he was. Her heart thumped and a little bit of fear entered her at the man suddenly standing in front of her. She shivered a little as the cold suddenly caught up with her...or was that foreboding? People who run off by themselves in horror movies - especially stupid females - always got raped or killed.

She could defend herself. She could run as far as she could and scream her lungs out until Inaki came. She didn't want him to fight, but maybe knowing she wasn't alone might do the trick. She took an unconscious step back and tried to think positive. Maybe the man was a native on a stroll just like she was, only alone. Or maybe his girlfriend or wife ran off like she did and he was trying to find her.

Boy what a stretch...

Teeth bit her lip as she tried not to show any emotion. He was studying her with eyes akin to curiosity and almost recognition. She blinked, a little confused. Perhaps he thought she looked like someone he knew?

'Okay, enough with the Kagome-Kikyou look-alike comments.' She inanely joked.

"Ano...sumimasen. Can I help you?" She asked, trying to be brave. She used as polite Japanese as she knew; offending a man taller and stronger-looking than her wasn't a smart thing.

The man was silent, but with her words, stepped forward as if she invited him to come closer. He still raked her over with those same emotions and with the fear wearing off; she took time to do the same...a little indignant that he would be so rude.

If he was undressing her with his eyes, she was going to sock him one, native or not!

He looked almost middle age, but there was an inner light in his eyes. She startled at how beautiful an emerald they were. Didn't Japanese normally have brown or black? Course, they could be contacts - youth in this century seemed more unruly like kids back home. 'Don't YOU sound like an obaasan now?'

She couldn't discount the hair either. The person was a redhead, even down to his eyebrows. Unless he dyed those as well, which really was no point, it wasn't a dye job. If it was, it was one damn good dye.

Teeth bit her lip for a while, taking a step back when the man kept approaching too close for her comfort. Unease rose again, bad thoughts coming back. Fists clenched as she tried to stand strong, borrowing a little of Kagome's strength. "Excuse me. Do you speak Japanese? What about English? I know a few other languages if you like, but please stop walking to me. I'm sorry, but you're making me uncomfortable and - "

She gasped as foot made connection with a patch of ice; probably from walking all the way back to the pond. She barely remembered falling, before being saved from a lump on her rear. The hand encircling her wrist was strong, but not bruising. She was steadied, still not getting one word from the stranger, before hauled into an embrace that shocked her too much to react.

There was the barest trace of a sigh over the wind. It sounded like happiness and her anger sparked. 'What the hell??' She struggled and was released almost immediately.

"What do you think you're doing?? If you think I'm that easy, you've got another thing coming!"

"Please forgive my impudence... I couldn't help myself when I found out."

She blinked, something tickling her brain. "Are? I'm sorry, but we've never met before. If I remind you of someone or look like someone you know, I'm sorry but I'm from America. This is my first time visiting Tokyo."

There was no visible response, save for a pair of soft eyes looking at her. "Sou ka? I see - you've been there all this time. What made you want to visit? You don't look Japanese."

The gaijin treatment again? It was getting a little old.

His other questions made her confused though and she couldn't hold back. "I'm here for personal reasons. I just got here two days ago."

"I thought so. It explains everything."

He seemed in his own little world and she decided enough was enough. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to go look for my boyfriend. I'll leave you now." He snatched her wrist when she passed and she instantly tensed, but he did nothing else. Silence permeated for a bit. She jerked from the hold and spun to face him. "I don't know who you are, but I WILL call the police on you. They'll take my side over yours, even if I'm gaijin."

Hands held up in defense. "Again I apologize. I just wanted to ask you for a favor."

"What kind of favor?"

"Tell that baka I said hello when you find him."

Her head tilted, shoulders slumping. She was so thoroughly lost; there was no way to find her way to getting even remotely back on track. Hands clenched at wasting time with some person who obviously was a few brain cells short of sanity. She whirled around and started away, but was unable to resist the anger needing to be released. She whirled back to give him a piece of her mind and was bewildered at finding herself the only person around.

She turned in a circle, but there weren't even footprints telling of the man's exit. She looked to snow and traced those of his entrance, seeing them stop after only a few feet. That wasn't right - she heard him approach, but had to admit upon thinking back she didn't hear him until he was close enough to speak to.

What was going on??

Hands clutched at her head when it shook in confusion. She sunk to the ground, letting snow soak her jeans. 'What was that all about? Was I dreaming? Am I getting sick?' Hand touched forehead. 'No...I'm okay. Shit, I thought I was done with all these delusions!'

Was she losing her mind?? Could the stress be getting too much? It was a lot to take in just two days after all. Everything since she made the announcement to Inaki came at rapid pace.

Footsteps sounded, but the aura was familiar and she didn't bother looking around.

"Why the hell did you take off like that?? It took me forever to find you! I had to ask directions from some weirdo about where you took off. Dumb ass annoyed me and I don't know why. Not like we ever met before." He crouched down and grabbed an arm. "Are you okay? What're you doing on the ground? You'll catch cold if you let the snow melt on you anymore."

She stared at the pond, mind in mild turmoil. "I think we're done here. Let's go back to the hotel."

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100 correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **En-Yen/Japanese currency Kyojaku-feebleness/weakness/imbecility Tokonoma-Alcove Furo-A literal BATH room Onsen-Hot springs

Yukata-Light kimono for summer or around the house Ja jan-Ta da Chuo Park-In the Shinjuku district of Tokyo

&.& &.&The final plot is playing out. I can't believe I'm almost finished with this thing! oO; It's been a very long road, full of emotion, writer's block, ideas, responsibility, and commitment. I'm very grateful, happy, excited, and absolutely LOVE every review that has come my way - even the not-so-good ones. That makes them no less important if someone didn't exactly like something; it's their opinion and I'm glad to have it. This commentary will deal with some explanations to the most recent chapters concerning Kalie/Kags/Kikyou and Inaki/IY. Some people were getting confused so I will try and do a little more explanation than in this chapter (though I did try for reiteration). It's easy to get blur the lines, but hopefully some of this chapter will help.

A-Kagome/Kalie/Kikyou: (numbers apply for B)

1-This is pretty much review if you take out the trio and make it only Kagome and Kikyou. The way I see it, Kikyou is the original soul. Kagome is the reincarnation of Kikyou (hence their looks almost the same), but being reborn as she was, she has her own memories and emotions. When Kagome was killed, the divided soul was stuck in Kalie's body at her birth - mostly from IY's wish - and she also has her own emotions and memories, except she didn't feel all of them because she was not in full possession of the soul. I didn't purposely pick which soul got used first.

2-The whole IY/Kagome and IY/Kikyou merging is a small ponder of mine. Even though Kikyou and Kagome are the same soul, they don't have the exact physical looks. Kagome's hair is wilder, she's a little shorter (from a diagram I saw in an art book in a bookstore), not as developed (even though I think Kikyou is supposed to be older by a bit - don't quote me), her temperament is twice as fiery, and she's way more expressive/emotional. Other than the shikon, it's kind of strange that she was allowed to go back, since Kikyou hated IY upon her death. One would think the two would've realized things wouldn't have worked out the way they thought and separated. Since Kagome is a little 'rougher' version and has some of IY's personality quirks (like the temper lol), it made sense to me that their souls exchanged a bit as a beacon to guide the other back. Except, a soul is a clean slate at its birth, which is why Kagome didn't know of Kikyou's life until told and fell in love with IY all over again.

3-As for Kalie...I did give her different characteristics like eye and hair color, but she had pretty much Kagome's body and the hair was a dark enough brown that it was sometimes mistaken for black. Kalie accepted Kagome because she thought there was a better world awaiting her. The only thing Kalie got out of the deal was a full set of emotions, Kagome's memories, and resurrection of Kikyou's memories. Neither Kagome nor Kalie totally fathomed the amount of changing a hundred years brings. Sometimes it's not much, others it's a huge jump in progress - whatever it may be. This trip showed Kalie that she didn't gain as much as she thought.

B-Inaki/IY:

1-The first paragraph of the souls pretty much fits Inaki, so there isn't much to go into for him.

2-Inaki is a lot more laid back and almost opposite IY for one reason - family. I think if IY was able to grow up in the same loving environment as Inaki, he would've had some definite changes. Even being hanyou, the lack of sunshine-ness would be gone. If anyone needs a comparison...just think of IY as he was in the VERY beginning episodes as opposed to what he is in episode 160. He's twice as sociable, more amiable, etc. Even friends flipped his attitude around - imagine what his parents could've done. I also wanted a very stable life to change things around and make it more original (poor IY could use a break), plus it set the style for Inaki as it did with Kalie and gave a small glimpse into their decisions (like anyone could see THAT though lol).

3-Yes I know I gave Inaki IY's human form, but I did tweak it with the braid to throw a few people off, the hair length in the beginning, and the condition of his hair. IY's hair is really coarse and looks pretty thick, but that's just cause it's probably never met a brush. lol The main changes are personality and lifestyle, which made everyone think that I made Kags the guy and IY the woman. :) I used the human form (and stuck with it in the story's reality) to give people the biggest red flag the size of a house.

There won't be another commentary, as I envision ending it at the 75 as planned...or around that. The remainder are going to be some pretty mild twists that I think some people can see, maybe not. I AM going to do a small epilogue five years into the future to close things out, since I do have one big lose end at the last section to this chapter (any guesses who it is? ::grins:: ). I added this mystery man on the spur of the moment, but it gives the story more flavor and takes it in an ENTIRELY different direction than I thought possible. That and I had a thought of the shrine being there and Kalie going back in time to save Kagome and keep her life from ever happening, but that would've been too cheesy...and to get around that, I destroyed the shrine. XD tee hee I'll put a small thanks and whatnot at the end of the epilogue with a few final words.

Just as the sun sets on each day, so too much this story end. &.& &.&


	71. Ch 71

It was easy enough to find the Higurashi, as she figured, and it was almost the same when fabricating a way for them to meet. She tried to keep the lives separate since her vow in the mirror and used her reincarnation to weave a small half-truth / half-lie. An old friend of the family who used to live here a while ago and just heard of the shrine being taken down. She wanted to discuss it and get directions, nothing more.

It was simple and Kyojaku seemed to buy it without much trouble. She credited it to the fact of her use of Japanese on the phone and complete fluency. The girl wouldn't figure her a gaijin until seeing her. What she and En thought of her afterward she hoped they wouldn't use that to hold what she needed.

She stopped at the steps to a pretty small, yet quaint house. They must've gotten a pretty good penny to buy their own house, since housing always had and probably would be expensive here. Teeth bit her lip as adrenaline fluttered her stomach and her heart raced. She was here; there was no going back...but she couldn't really go through with this. She was too tempted to do some serious lecturing on proper shrine behavior and respect to keep her cool.

A soft touch on her back with a mild push in the door's direction helped. She quickly exhaled and took a breath for courage before striding forward with Inaki in tow. She knocked on the door and prayed to whatever god would listen that this went okay. She didn't know how much her temper would hold if it didn't.

After a minute, the knob twisted and the door inched open. A pair of black eyes peeked out, short hair sliding over cheek. "Hai?"

Her first impression wasn't a good one. The unspoken reluctance opening the door all the way said more than words. What she could see of the face, since none of the body was visible, was someone around her age. In the articles, she remembered Kyojaku was younger than En by a few years, and both were in some year of high school. The decade was good to her great niece and the thought irked her.

Her head inclined a hello, trying to keep her shoulders from stiffening. "Konnichi wa. Himmen Kalie desu. I spoke to you on the phone yesterday."

Black blinked rather dumbly as if her words - spoken in polite Japanese - went right past. Kyojaku gave her a quick raking, but the door opened enough to connect head with body. "You are Himmen-san? But you are Amerika-jin."

It was easy to mentally picture the question marks floating over Kyojaku's head and she suppressed a smile. "I used to live here a while ago. You granted me time with you and En-san, and I would very much like to talk to you both."

Kyojaku practically bristled before them. "We have said our peace! Why won't people leave us alone about that dumb shrine??"

A fist clenched behind her back and she fought to keep from glaring. "I am not here to judge you about that. I saw for myself what became of the shrine and I read the newspapers. I only wish to hear more of your reasons for it and a few directions." There was that lost look again and she resisted sighing. "Is En-san home now?"

The woman practically jumped to attention and finally let them inside. "If you remember me saying, he was at work until mid afternoon. He will be here soon, if you will wait for him."

"I will wait as long as it takes."

They were led to the living room while her himei headed for the kitchen. She looked around, marveling at how western and modern it was. It almost seemed like she wasn't in Japan except for a few scrolls - mostly decorative and what jiichan would've sold no doubt - hanging on the walls. She read the incantations and smirked at how ineffective they were. Perhaps they were jiichan's leftovers no one would ever buy because they were too hokey.

Muted tinkling jostled her attention from looking around and she focused on the way to the kitchen. She shifted a few more inches closer to Inaki on the couch and almost conspiratorially leaned to his ear. "She seems a little ditzy." She whispered in English.

He smirked before maintaining mild stoicism. "You got all that from the meeting at the front door?" He returned, making sure to use English and same tone. Not a good idea to aggravate the people who could throw them out without a thought. Kyojaku's use of English he didn't know about and the Higurashi held this trip in the palm of their hands.

She snorted. "I knew from the way the door was opened. You're going to have to watch me for if I blow and keep me from doing anything drastic."

"Oh come on...you learned your lesson from that first time, you should be okay now."

She gave a dry look. "Don't count on it."

"Sorry for the wait." They pulled away as Kyojaku set a tea set on the coffee table in front of them and poured them both a cup. "Niisan should be home shortly. Are there any questions I can answer for you in the meantime?"

She took a sip, finding it good, and nodded. "There is your side to tell, along with En-san's. Before he gets here, tell me your thoughts and feelings about the shrine and some details."

As if no one ever asked her that, Kyojaku quickly poured herself a glass and sat in a chair across them, almost eagerly leaning forward. "It was such a controversy back then..." She sighed. "Jiisan loved that place. Kaasan was taught a lot of the lore, but wasn't as enamored as jiisan. Tousan visited the shrine since he was a boy and loved it. He wanted to run it and married kaasan for it. Jiisan seemed to like the idea, but made tousan take kaasan's myouji to keep the shrine in the Higurashi name. It wasn't as big a deal as the fact that tousan spent more time with the jinja than he did with kaasan." Small lips pursed as Kyojaku dully looked to her glass.

Her brow furrowed. Souta was a better judge of character than that, she knew he was. "How would Souta-san accept your otousan if that was the case? Didn't he want his musume to be happy?"

Kyojaku nodded. "Tousan was pretty good at saying the things people wanted to hear. I never heard him say he loved kaasan though." Teeth bit her lip as black looked away. "I'm sorry to be saying such painful things to you. I must be boring you. I'm such a disgrace to my family."

"Iie, iie. I come from a divorced family as well so I know your pain." She answered.

The woman's head tilted. "That's right, Amerika-jin have a horrible marriage rate don't they?"

If it could, her brow would've twitched in annoyance. 'Nothing like being utterly tactless...' That little reminder didn't do much good against stirring the bad memories of her parents' fighting.

"I guess. Please continue with your story."

"Ah well...kaasan and tousan started getting in fights. It was SO embarrassing to think the neighbors might hear and I always wondered in school who knew of it. Jiisan's age got the better of him during the file for divorce and he made a will giving the shrine to me and niisan." Brown swished. "Like we wanted to run something with us in school. We would've had to make all the decisions, make sure our parents got things sold when we weren't there to oversee, know more knowledge than we wanted about the shrine and its history, not have much in the way of any other lifestyle, and no way to live happily." Kyojaku shrugged and moved to fill their glasses. "Niisan and I talked one week and went over our options. Niisan is much better in numbers than I am and he took stock of what our lives would be like if stuck to the shrine."

"Wait...so why didn't you just give it to your parents?"

Black rolled as if the answer was obvious. "Jiisan didn't want THEM to have it, so we at least gave him that. Selling it was the answer to our problem. Our parents would separate and we would have to do so as well, or go with only one parent. Neither of us wanted to grow up without both - since one of us would miss out on a gender influence. We agreed to stick together and we needed money if we were striking our own path."

"Then why didn't you accept donations the surrounding people offered?"

Kyojaku resumed her spot and smiled over the rim of the cup. "The city paid more."

Her stomach clenched as her shoulder, legs, arms, and jaw tensed. She was quite successful in keeping an even face, but that statement rubbed her the wrong way in extreme. "Sou..." She evenly grit out. "So you sold the shrine while you were still in school?"

"We were nearly finished by the time everything went about. We got enough to buy this house and give niisan some money to start in a university. I took a job to help with that and he graduated a few years ago. He now supports us and we keep the remainder in a bank for just in case."

She slowly nodded, looking to the grip on her teacup. The little loop for fingers was too dainty to withstand and she was afraid of breaking it and arousing attention.

There was a quiet shuffle near the front door in a small lull and Kyojaku stood without excusing herself to get it. She blinked at the sudden exit, feeling rather insulted and irritated at how impolite the girl was. Did her himei think it was okay to act like this just because they were from America? Did Kyojaku think they were ignorant of the customs? It would hopefully explain everything, but it was still no excuse. Japanese were polite to everyone because it would shame them to behave so brashly in front of a gaijin.

Not to mention it was simple, good manners!

A hand lightly pressed against the small of her back and slowly rubbed against tight muscles and ramrod spine. He felt bad for her, but it was kind of hard to not say something to the woman at how she was treating them. His obaasan would've boxed her ears or definitely given a stern lecture on how to behave around others the second she stood without bowing.

"Oi...shitsuke." He murmured. Brown looked up at the voices nearby, before disregarding them and focusing his attention on her. "Kalie is the one in control, remember?"

A finger briefly tapped her head and her shoulders slumped. She nodded slowly, pasting on a small smile as footsteps came their way. As her hioi stepped past the wall, she stood with a small bow in greeting and resisted meeting his eyes. So far Kyojaku sadly stood up to expectations that started building on the phone and she would be more dismayed at finding the only other relative of Souta's to be so horrible.

"Ah, you are the Amerika-jin who imoto talked to, ne?"

She looked up with a fake smile and her response froze. The boy had traces of Souta all over it was astounding. The eyes and hairstyle were quite the same.

It seemed her brain stopped thinking as she stood there until a distinct, subtle nudge at her ankle - quite painful at that - jogged her. "Ah, hai. Himmen Kalie desu." She gave a quick bow and her brow furrowed under the safety of thick bangs at a sound of amusement. She looked up and sat as En made his way to the chair Kyojaku frequented.

The woman saw and didn't look pleased. "Oi niisan, I was sitting there..."

En unbuttoned a western-style business coat and started pulling off his shoulders, not looking guilty in the slightest. "You don't need to sit down. Go get me a glass and some of this tea, will you?" Kyojaku's mouth opened and closed with a small pout before she nodded and headed to the kitchen without a word their way.

He had yet to introduce himself, she noted. Inside, she fumed a little at his treatment of his baby sister - his ONLY sister too! - and the second lack of manners within half an hour. It was no wonder these two didn't want to keep the shrine. From what she could tell they hadn't the spirit, patience, attitude, kindness, courteousness, or religious beliefs involved with such a task.

But the shrine had been done and gone for over ten years and that was over now. She just had to keep reminding herself that and it would take some of the sting away at how much she wanted to yell at Kagome's relatives.

"Ano..." She paused upon having his attention. She couldn't ask him questions without getting introductions out of the way, but her tongue was itching to move. She gave a quick smile and reached for her glass, giving it her concentration.

Kyojaku returned and still En didn't seem in any hurry to give his name, even if they both knew it. She wordlessly poured an extra glass and handed him a cup before taking the pot back to the kitchen for a refill.

He watched the man and it used quite the patience of Buddha to not hurl his cup across the room. His aim was as good as Inuyasha's thanks to the hanyou and he rather badly wanted to beam the man right in the forehead. Or the nose. Perhaps that expensive-looking suit...

En finally rested the glass near his lap and stared at them. They both met his eyes, simultaneously wondering what he was thinking and feeling. At length, a smile appeared as his head tilted almost in curiosity. "You don't speak much for an Amerika-jin."

She jumped. "I...well...you haven't introduced yourself yet. I didn't want to hurry anything until then."

"Heh? Omoishiroii. Imoto told me you spoke fluent Japanese. I find it interesting that you know some customs. So why use English on me?"

"You used it first oniisan." She quietly answered, uneasy with En's gaze. He seemed to be sizing her up, maybe thinking something about her that wasn't true or that she didn't need. She escaped those eyes by taking a drink.

En grinned and mimicked her. He watched Kyojaku return from the kitchen with the pot and pour them a second round before setting it down and heading to a smaller chair off to one side. She silently maneuvered it closer and grabbed her glass.

The atmosphere was overly uncomfortable, but she was NOT going to let it get to her! Mentally steeling herself, telling herself not to back away from this challenge, she sat a little taller and looked En in the eyes.

He brazenly stared back, almost entertained by her actions. They remained that way for a short time before swinging black eyes to Inaki. "You are..."

He blinked. "I'm sorry, I never introduced myself. Ore wa Yamoi Inaki."

"Are you this Amerika-jin's guide? Perhaps a friend she used to know? How did you two meet?"

Although he spoke in Japanese, En answered again in English. He found it kind of odd that the man hadn't bothered with his native tongue yet. Sure a lot of Japanese liked goosing some gaijin with their knowledge - he was sure the feeling was mutual when K talked to those at the stands - but no one bothered in their own home. "I'm Amerika-jin, as you put it, as well. The two of us live in the Florida state there."

"Furorida? Hmm, naruhodo."

The small talk was getting past the point of being funny. Staring at En and watching him talk and act, she suddenly spotted a trait to him that she never fathomed a Higurashi owning.

Power.

The man, for whatever reason, liked having the edge in a situation. It was in the way En sat, the way he stared, the tone of voice, his lack of speaking, and choice of words. His suit looked fairly expensive, and it reminded her of the man she harassed recently. It fit that En was a businessman, probably high up to some degree, but it was pitiful to see it get to his home life.

She was thankful most of the people she came in contact with didn't act this way. Even if Charlie owned Coffee Works, he never threw his weight around. Sure Barb was kind of annoying for her lack of responsibility at the hotel, but she was nicer than En without a doubt.

To think the Higurashi blood declined to this level was another coffin nail to the closing of Kagome's past. Her hioi and himei were so out of touch with Japanese behavior she didn't know if it was possible to connect with them if she even WANTED to. They'd think her a lunatic instead of reincarnation and throw her out over believing her.

With that in mind, she was going to stop this game. If En wanted to have all the power, he was going to be taken aback right now. If he wanted to be rude, then so could she. She did not come to Tokyo to act polite and try to be respectful to have it thrown back in her face!

"Higurashi-san. I would like to ask you about the shrine."

All enjoyment left the man's face to a rather open scowl. "I have nothing to say about that fiasco. You're wasting your time if that's what you came for."

Kyojaku shifted and flapped a hand to get En's attention. "Daijoubu niisan. They're only curious about our side of it." Black looked their way with an almost naïve look. "Ne?"

Let the woman think whatever she wanted. She didn't really care about their side because she knew why from just looking at them. They were born into the wrong family and got out the only way they thought best. Even if it was wrong, they got out...to the expense of a supreme amount of sentimental history.

"Un. I would like your thoughts and feelings about that time." She repeated.

A hand ruffled En's hair as he sighed. Black eyes stared at the floor until he slouched and humphed. "Jiisan wa baka datta."

Almost every muscle clenched. It took every coherent thought telling her not to jump over the coffee table and hit En square in the jaw. Kagome's baby brother didn't deserve this belittling!

Why En was using Japanese now was a surprise, but it seemed he was getting down to business. She was glad, if only to get this over faster and get out of here. It was becoming hard to stomach the pair.

"He really WAS stupid. What possessed him to think we wanted that beat up, old place? Kaasan would've done a better job and she was less in love with it. He stuck around for their disgraceful behavior - where would he go? We all lived crammed in that house and I wanted out. The house needed some serious remodeling, but jiisan forbid it. He kept it the same way it looked since he was a boy and it was so embarrassing. We never knew why he refused to do any changing to the extra room upstairs or even get rid of such old furniture. He seemed to get emotional whenever we asked him and we were forced to stop after a while."

Kagome's old room. A thread of glee stabbed her at the thought of Souta keeping the room exactly as it was for so long. It was such a loving gesture of remembrance, but it was also sad. Souta held onto that room because it was that way before Kagome's death...hanging onto the past like that wasn't good.

"When jiisan ended up in the hospital and we were made aware of his condition, he made a will right then without our consent. We heard he made it with a doctor and nurse as witness while we were asleep one night in the waiting room. Our parents were shocked and tousan was angry. So were we."

Teeth bit the inside of her lip as she pondered asking the one question looming. Curiosity won out and she leaned forward a bit. "How did...Souta-san..."

En lifted the glass to his lips to finish off, but almost refused to meet her eyes. "He was old. His heart gave out. The first attack was a warning. The second was more severe. And the third took him when it passed."

She looked to the cup cradled in her hands. She wanted to feel sorrow, but with such blunt, near uncaring words, it seemed embarrassing to. She would grieve again for them all later.

En leaned forward and poured himself another glass in the silence. He leaned back and watched her, even if her eyes never looked up. "Imoto said you were an old friend of the family. That's impossible." She looked up, mentally cursing his perceptiveness. The mind of a businessman was shrewd indeed.

"I used to live here a long time ago. I knew of the shrine and it was very important to me. I just wanted to come back to see what changed, but I never expected all this."

Black eyes gazed over his glass. "I don't remember seeing such a gaijin around. If your love for the shrine is so much, you would've frequented it. I never heard of a family friend who was gaijin. Who are your parents?"

She almost started sweating. This wasn't supposed to be looked past! The half-lie wasn't that big a deal and anyone wouldn't bother to ask more questions beyond general interest. Even if En was doing that, his manner spoke entirely different. He wasn't as interested as he was suspicious.

"My parents are both Amerika-jin." As she suspected, En showed visible signs of disbelief for her reasons. "I am not worried about them or who they are though. I only wanted to know what happened to the jinja and more than words on paper. I have come for that...and I was hoping you would give me the location of the Higurashi graves as well."

En's brow warily furrowed. "Why?"

"To pay my respects."

The silence was torture as he tried to stare her down, challenge clearly in his eyes. He looked at them both for the longest time, almost taking them in again. They were silent and let En do as he pleased, hoping to appease him by giving him back control of the conversation he appeared to like.

Forever seemed to pass before anyone moved. En leaned forward and quietly put the glass back. He propped chin up with knees and elbows, still eyeing them. "Do as you like. It doesn't matter to me." He stood and turned to Kyojaku. "We're done with the tea. Take it to the kitchen."

The woman stood without a word and waited until their glasses were on the tray before retrieving it. There was no word as she left their sight and it was unsure if it was in anger, sullenness, or not caring.

"If you will follow me."

They stood and ended up at the front door. She was about to protest that she didn't get the address when En turned and walked down the hall. She dumbly blinked at his actions, having never been so thoroughly snubbed in her life. She directed exasperation and confusion at Inaki, but his head only shook in response.

En returned shortly after leaving them at the door, paper in his hands. "You can read kanji I assume?" She nodded and took the outstretched offering. "Then this is all you need to know."

The elder Higurashi moved around them to open the door. She was too taken aback and trying to read the address in his horrible writing to get much useful thought in. She moved to the door with Inaki's hand on her elbow, trying to form words of goodbye or lecture or good luck.

"Jiisan..." They paused at the short sidewalk and she turned to find black staring at the small lawn. "Jiisan was an idiot...but a good man. Be sure you give an appropriate offering when you go."

She smiled and nodded. "Un." She watched as the door shut on them without another word and noticed the double meaning it held. This behavior made her feel more like Kalie with yet another aspect of Kagome's life so horribly put in place. It was getting easier to want to be Kalie if these were the things of Kagome's life.

She fisted the paper and turned around, grabbing Inaki's hand and striding to the public sidewalk and nearest train station.

------------------------------

There was no point in drawing it out since this would be the last thing needed to do. The day was almost over and she wanted to at least see everything before the sun was gone.

Who knew if the place was still open, but who would deny her a chance to visit if it was necessary? Course, this wasn't like a graveyard in America where they actually had open and close hours - if a family member wanted to visit, they had that right.

She knew of the temple written down; it was old, almost as old as Kagome's used to be. She knew this would still be standing because not only was it a religious place, but the bodies of the dead rested there. As disrespectful as it was to tear down a shrine or temple, no one would dare move the deceased and have their ghosts come back to haunt everyone.

The area was the same as every other prefecture she was in so far. She took in the buildings as they headed up the block. She walked slowly, not in the mood to hurry and not ready to see just yet. Foreboding of what she already knew from Kagome's memories pricked her mind and made her anxious. Of course this wasn't a good idea - what moron would WANT to do this?? It always brought horrible emotions and painful memories, but she reminded herself again this wasn't her life; she was merely doing this for Kagome's sake.

She spied a small look at Inaki and found him looking around almost in curious recognition. She wondered at that, if Inuyasha frequented this place - that was kind of odd, since all he ever went was to Kagome's shrine.

There were no doors to the old temple. Everything was as open as it could possibly be with only walls holding it up. They passed under a torii and she smiled at the peaceful atmosphere of the place. The cold of winter and the compilation of recent snowfall made it even more beautiful with white sprinkling everything. She took it in and serenity captured her. It helped offset the unease in her soul and just like Kagome purifying the shikon, washed away the bad to be replaced with good.

She turned to Inaki and found his back to her. She blinked and sidled up to him, leaning against an arm. She peeked at what he was looking at and blinked.

Just to the right, barely just beyond the open engawa, was a relatively short stone. It looked like a kasuga toro and it was lit. There were a few of them down a somewhat narrow pathway. She stared for a bit, almost confused and entranced at once, before edging to them.

A hand absently touched one as brown stared ahead. More lit the way, almost beckoningly so, and she had an inkling where they led to. Sure there were a few other such lamps around to help those after dark, but these were put for a specific purpose. Teeth bit her lip as she took a few steps on the concrete road.

She looked back and found Inaki still staring at the same location, standing in the same spot. She turned with a furrowed brow but he seemed not to see her. He was almost looking past her...or through her at something else or some other incident.

She stopped in front of him and a hand tentatively touched cheek. He jumped as if not knowing she was there, blinking rapidly a few times. "Are you okay?" She queried.

He looked to the temple to avoid her gaze. So much assaulted him at once it hit hard and unrelenting. How could he explain to her that this was the same place? Sure Inuyasha didn't know where he was at the time and it was at night, but the place was stamped in his memories nonetheless. This was the area he made the wish on and where SHE was.

This was going to be as hard for K as it would him. Sure he wasn't Inuyasha anymore than Kalie was Kagome or Kikyou, but Inuyasha's memories were more powerful, whereas Kalie's were more frequent. He didn't have K's problem of finding himself due to his luck in this life and the family he was graced with. It cemented his identity solidly and it was easy to separate himself from the hanyou. Just like K, he had the better life by far compared to his counterpart and that made it easy to ignore some things Inuyasha gave at the merging. But seeing this place brought back a wave of emotion buried somewhere within - from Inuyasha. The hanyou would be confronted with the idea of seeing her marker just as K would have to see the Higurashi's. Being strong for her was going to be a chore with this circulating in his blood.

Brown locked on brown and he pulled her close. He breathed in Kagome's smell and took comfort it gave. The feel of her in his arms, returning his embrace, settled him a little and he waited until it helped further before daring words. He didn't want to appear as out of it as he was because she was going to lean to him in some way in the next few minutes. He wanted to assure her she could find a rock in him for when that happened.

He stared at the walkway to the graveyard somewhere in this area, eyes dull. "Aa. I just became a little overwhelmed for a second. I'm okay now."

Her jaw clenched, but she gave a little nod. The urge to do something to help rose, even if she wanted to be on the receiving end. They would go round and round in the comforter and being comforted on this trip she suddenly realized, both having memories springing forward of their old lives in this city. The changes it went through didn't keep everything away and merely being in this city with its grand history was enough to bring déjà vu.

Time passed as they stood in the middle of exit and entrance. She slowly pulled away first, wanting to get this over with before the shadows didn't allow kanji to be seen. Her hand took his as she slowly led the way. They took a small path almost around the entire temple before the lamps stopped and any stone markers were seen.

The place was pretty packed. There was no grass like in American graveyards and the stones were close together. There were walkways everywhere with small patches of steps to account for the slope. The style of markers was kind of similar as far as height went. Everywhere there was a small area lined with short granite walls, places for offerings inside next to the markers. She assumed the place wouldn't be so crowded-looking if a lot of the lamps were taken out. There was an abundance of kasuga toro almost as much as there were graves. Some of them were lit, apparently by those already here today.

This was going to take a while. She had an address, not a pinpointed location. She took a deep breath of cold air and let it jog her attention before starting at the top.

They walked down narrow rows in baby steps, eyes reading kanji and looking for Kagome's myouji. It was pretty organized symmetrically. One row had markers on one side, pushed to the back of its little granite fence to have room for offerings, with a lamp at the edge for light.

They must've passed half a dozen rows until she spotted the kanji before being right in front of it. It was so recognizable because of its previous use. She halted immediately, body frozen. This was it; they found it...and she didn't know what to do. She stood there, as still as all the granite and concrete surrounding them, barely paying Inaki any mind as he idly walked around to stand in front.

They were relatively small compared to some of the gravestones that stood as tall as they were. Even still, it seemed to fit and she was pleased that the stones rested amongst the others naturally.

It was a family plot apparently. She found it odd that none of Kagome's memories involved visiting this place, since she definitely would've remembered them in dreams. Perhaps her mother thought it wasn't wise to bring such a small child, or they were busy tending to their own shrine, or these others were remembered in a different way that didn't require Syunbun no hi or Bon.

Her legs took a few timid steps closer, reading the names of her jiisan's parents and their ages. They all lived quite long and she was glad they got to experience life. Her eyes took in Kagome's mother's marker and locked on her date of death. She calculated the age and found she walked a little closer to it. Right next to that was Souta's.

Her heart raced as she openly stared. Her feet stumbled a step or two in his direction, suddenly unsure of their position on ground, before she lost the will to stand and landed on her knees. She didn't bother catching herself on anything, even if the blow made her wince. She barely felt anything beyond the shell she seemed to've turned into.

Jiisan, okaasan, Souta...they all lived very long lives. Even the great grandparents were well past fifty before they passed. It seemed Kagome was the one who was different.

A humorless smirk appeared as she stared at the holders for incense and flowers. It was just one more way Kagome was different than the family. Being miko, the ability to time travel, possessing the jewel... Kagome was an extraordinary person, even if she just wanted to be like everyone else.

She absently shifted to a more comfortable position and stared at the family headstones. The ground was cold, even through jeans, but she ignored it for the thoughts springing to mind and turned inward.

'She never wished for anything to be different after returning. Sure Kagome wanted to go home after falling in from the centipede woman's attack, but since then there was no regret. She simply did as necessary...'

Lips pursed as she considered that. Kagome was admirable that way, being so pure in thought and action. The desire to hate, even with a full soul before Kikyou was brought back, wasn't really there. The only thing fully and genuinely hated was Naraku, but there was good reason for that. If Kagome was ever angry or acted like it, mostly it was from Inuyasha and his behavior - or Miroku-sama - or some cruelty from bandits. There was never an unprovoked cause.

A gentle smile appeared as she took in more of the plot, finding more headstones farther down. Sure she was Kagome in an instance, but even if she wasn't, it would be good to act on the girl's principles. She didn't feel guilty in this moment for being reborn a third time; Kagome did live a full life and perhaps she died when fate said so.

That last headstone seemed a little fancier than these and she stood in intrigue. She suddenly spotted Inaki and realized he hadn't moved an inch since she fell. He didn't say a word or do anything when she did and she was bemused at that. She turned; ready to say something, when the look on his face stopped her.

He seemed pained almost. Sadness was in his eyes and his jaw clenched. Brown was fixated on something and she tried to pinpoint it, seeing it was one of the graves, and the breath caught in her throat.

_Higurashi Kagome_

A harsh swallow bobbed as her throat started closing up. The motivation to stand was becoming another losing battle. Inaki's focus became clear; he was captured by Kagome's headstone. The girl's ashes would be buried in a little hollow area in an urn.

Essentially her ashes.

Her head harshly shook at such a thought. She was morbid enough right now, she didn't need to compound things by thinking that her old body was laying not even ten feet away...burnt to a crisp and stuck in such a claustrophobic spot...

Fists clenched and eyes squeezed shut. 'Shut up! Don't think that way! You're not her - you were never her!' She took a deep breath and stopped in front, kneeling close enough to touch granite. She wondered what kind of urn Kagome's ashes were in. Since this was a little fancier than the rest of the Higurashi stones, did they do the same with the urn? Fingers tiptoed across chiseled kanji, mentally berating herself. That was useless wonderings and didn't matter. What mattered was she was here.

"K - Kagome?" She whispered, reading the date of death. Her throat closed as tears rose. So young, younger than she was even... Such a shame. "Kaetta. I did as you asked and went to see your family, your shrine, and now I'm here. This is the last thing I will do for you. When I leave this city - when I leave Japan - I will be myself." She watched the digits delve into one of the characters, her index following grooves which made up her past name. "Please understand. I know you do because of your forgiving nature. You forgave Kikyou so I know you can forgive me. After this...please leave me in peace and take the rest you deserve."

Hand suddenly gripped shoulder and her head jerked up. She looked into as much of Inaki's face as she could, but she couldn't read his eyes. They were still trained on Kagome's headstone.

She turned and stood, finding irrevocable sorrow and cupped his jaw line, trying to bring him back to reality.

He accepted her kiss, feeling almost like he was betraying someone for kissing his girlfriend. It was Inuyasha's influence mostly, which was absurd because not only was Kalie Kagome's soul, she was also Kikyou. It was redundant to think Inuyasha was cheating when he was kissing both past girlfriends.

Arms wrapped around her and held her, nuzzling her neck and taking comfort in the warmth she gave. He blocked out the sunset for a while, listening to her breathing and feel of heartbeat at a pulse on her neck.

"We should come back." She whispered, looking down the rest of the stones nearby. "We didn't bring anything to offer and I would like to pay my respects properly."

He nodded minutely, finally lifting his head to look at Kagome's kanji. 'Inuyasha...just as K told Kagome, I am going to tell you. Wherever you are in my conscious, it is time for you to rest. I know you're not the type to sit back and watch, but find the remnants of Kagome's soul - whatever fragment of mind is in the next realm - and be with her. I will be with my love; you be with yours.'

He kissed her again as if sealing his words. He didn't want to stop, as the feel of her mouth and the softness of her lips was too nice to let go of, but the chill of night was coming with the receding of the sun. It was time for them to leave for now.

"We'll come back." He agreed, pulling away. He stepped back and extended a hand for her to take, eyeing Kagome's stone again. It hadn't weathered much - or at all - in a hundred years. The lines of chiseled kanji were still as sharp as if the stone was just placed here yesterday. He was glad everything was still visible; he didn't want Kagome's name to be smudged so soon. He hoped it was like this for another hundred years so her resting place would be as beautiful as it was now.

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100 correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Himmen Kalie desu-I'm Kalie Himmen Amerika-jin-American **(jin relates to 'ese or country affiliation, Nihon-jin-Japanese) **Himei-Great neice Myouji-Last name/Family name

Sou-I see Shitsuke-Calm down/quiet down Hioi-Great nephew Imoto-Little sister Omoishiroii-Interesting/Funny/etc Oniisan-Can also mean mister/sir

Ore wa Yamoi Inaki-I'm Inaki Yamoi Naruhodo-(Now) I see Jiisan wa baka datta-Grandfather was an idiot Torii-Tall gateway to a shrine / temple which separates sacred from mundane world

Kasuga toro-Shinto shrine lamps Syunbun no hi-Vernal Equinox Day and respects for ancestors' spirits Bon-Festival in memory of the dead in mid-August


	72. Ch 72

It was even colder before the sun rose. She tried hard not to feel it, barely succeeding. She didn't want him to know she was so cold physically, even if a part of her was frozen inside.

Her breath fogged and obscured a tiny part of the view as she stared down at kanji. She felt at such odds with herself today. It was so hard to wake up this morning. It was even harder to pack everything for departure and go to sleep knowing she was leaving this place. There was very little happiness with that information and she couldn't smile right now to save her life.

Ungloved hands were nearly numb but still managed to clutch the small batch of flowers she scouted around for. One cup was already filled with a few lit incense sticks on each tombstone. She gave some for the great grandparents Kagome never knew, not wanting to be rude or play favorites.

It seemed she just got here and now she had to go. So soon... Some part of her soul was reminiscent - Kagome's mostly - to stay behind and continue to see the changes of this ancient city. There was so much beauty here that Kagome missed because of her trips to the Sengoku.

It was an impossible wish really. She had a life to get back to in the states and had college to finish. She also didn't know if she wanted to live in the place of Kagome's birth and death. It wasn't as if she would really be Kagome all over again, not after seeing such changes to the girl's home. There was so little of the Heisei Jidai it was safe to say this wasn't the Tokyo Kagome knew.

Part of her imagined what it would be like to live in a place she felt comfortable with in only a week's time. With Kagome's life guiding her, it would be simple to get along in this country. Sure she wouldn't be able to get citizenship, as it was still very hard for outsiders to do, but being here was good enough.

The logical part of her mind spoke of the ludicrousness of that yearning. Wishes were part folly after all; she shouldn't let that get to her. In this life, she was cemented across the sea with family and friends. A part of her snorted. 'Family is a no-go, unless I use Sam's and I'd have to use my anthropology on that one to make it count.'

Sure she had friends...a few of them...Sam for sure. Brown misted at that thought. 'And here I thought I had more than Kagome did. Do I actually have so little to keep me there? Sure Sam would be sad, but I'm sure she could get around it. My mother would support me in anything I did - she always does - and she wouldn't do more than wonder why. My jobs would be easy to quit...so finishing college would be the only thing to worry over.' Her head shook. 'No, I can't think like that! How could I just up and leave my hometown...probably never see my mom, Sam, Sheryl, and Hal again...quit my jobs without regard to work here...maybe be forced to separate with Inaki...'

The thought of never getting to see Inaki, the person she'd come to love and depend on so severely, scared her. It nearly sent her into a panic right there, even when he was less than a foot away. She never figured of these thoughts happening and what she would do after this mini-quest was over, how she was going to act by just being herself from now on was unknown. There was a lot to consider, but thankfully she had some time to think before college swamped her again.

She leaned down to separate the bundle for everyone. She would worry about this stuff later; now was not the time. She was supposed to be paying her respects one last time and saying goodbye, not thinking about life here. With her duties in spring, it was absurd.

"K...we should be heading out. We've only got a few hours and I'd like to get something to eat before we go."

Black absently bobbed as brown idly traced Souta's name. It was time to go, though a part of her still wanted to remain. "I'll just be a minute...do you think you could get a head start on me?"

He watched her situate in front of the graves, perceptive of her attitude since last night. He grunted a response, eyeing her over his shoulder as he headed down the aisle. He wanted to listen in on whatever she had to say, but didn't want to intrude on her privacy. He wished for the hanyou's ears right now, curious at the little smile she gave.

"Kagome...wish me luck okay? I found you all the answers I can and I'm out of time." Red tinged her face, heating her nose a little. "Sorry I took a few days out to be lazy and relax, but I couldn't help it. I wanted to see the city you grew up in. It's a beautiful place by the way. There's so much culture here I don't know where to start. I don't know what I'll do in the upcoming months, but lend me your strength, okay? I'll need that and whatever courage I foresee with my final semesters and anything with Inaki." Fingers brushed over the stone's indents, tracing the girl's name. "I hope this is the last cross we have to bear. I'd like to have a little peace with him." Brown shunted as she looked to the ground with a sigh. "I - I feel like something WILL happen to me though. I can't escape it, though it might be my imagination. I can only hope you'll guide me through wherever you are."

"K, we really should get going."

"I'm coming." She called, looking back to the stone. She made to stand and brushed the petals of her offering. "I guess this is goodbye minna-san. This has been one of the most unique hardships I've ever had to bear...not to mention hearing anyone deal with. I still thank you for helping me, even if it changed me, and making me see things in a different way." Brown misted and she tried to blink it back.

"K!"

She took a few steps down the path, hand going to her mouth. "S...sayonara..." She whispered, whipping past and hurrying down the way.

She met up with him at the main walkway, head down and bangs covering her eyes. She didn't want him to see, even if it was plausible he already knew. Some stubborn part of her wanted to keep this inside; she was leaving a place first visited and a family she never knew. There was really no reason to be this depressed.

Arms went around her shoulders and pulled her to him. His chin went over her head and felt how cold she was and he frowned. He hugged her tighter to try and warm her up, soft brown pointed to the cluster she was at. 'Kagome...don't take this personal and get mad at me okay? You understand the circumstances of the whole reincarnation thing, so I know you won't get pissed at me loving your reincarnation. What's done is done and I will try not to think of you anymore to continue on with my life. I am who I am, changed or not, and now I must learn to deal with that. Goodbye to the both of you.'

He pulled away and pushed bangs back to kiss her forehead. "Now we're not going to get anything good I bet."

She managed the barest of smirks, subtly wiping tears from cheeks. "Hey, you told me to get going and then you stop. Don't whine to me."

He grunted in amusement and let her pass, eyes on the back of her head until they got to a place where he could walk side by side and his arm around her shoulders.

------------------------------------------------------------

As nice as Tokyo was, there was nothing like the feeling of being home. Even if she grew up around this area and spent years here, it was like looking at the place all over again. It was a nice feeling to rediscover the neighborhood you lived in, looking at little details. She felt the same as Kagome did when the girl came into existence for the first time.

Sam only waited until her bag was sat on the daybed, not even unzipped, before bombarding her for presents. She took it in stride, digging through and pulling something out. She didn't know if it was okay to get Sam that, but her friend wasn't going to spurn her for it.

Light blue blinked at the palm-sized object. Fingers ran over silk stitching on cloth. "What is this?"

She smiled and turned to keep pulling things out to put away. "It's an omamori - a good luck charm. I bought it from a priest at a shrine we visited. He guarantees the holy powers to keep bad luck off you." She stopped with a wry grin directed over her shoulder. "That cost a lot of yen, so you'd better be happy."

"It's pretty." She smiled and turned around, still pulling out used clothes and bathroom necessities. "Did you get me anything else?"

She would've sweatdropped if it was possible. "Hitodenashi..." She mumbled. She pulled something else out and turned. "Yes I brought you something else. Take a little more time to admire this though."

Sam outwardly gasped, eyes widening in open appreciation. Hands quickly, but gently took the item from her grasp and she smiled as her friend eyed it like a child with a new toy. "Que bello..." Sam murmured, turning it around in her hands.

She felt compulsion to watch her friend take in something never seen before, while she had a whole sleuth of them to go through mere days ago. A wistful smile lit her face as she thought back to the store case housing so many shiny objects. "It's called an ichirin kanzashi. It cost me a pretty good yen, so I hope you'll wear it once in a while without worrying about how it looks in your hair."

"Idiota. It's gorgeous!" Sam gently placed the metal prongs between her lips and twisted her hair into a small bun. The mass held easily when the tips were shoved in the center. "How's it look?"

Sam circled and showed the back of her head. Gold plating matched ash nicely and the pink flower looked as delicate as it was. "It was a good choice." She quietly answered.

Sam turned with a furrowed brow. She kneeled in front and peered into brown, searching out the emotions there. "You don't seem to be very happy to be home..." A wry smile appeared. "Don't tell me you wanted to stay longer."

A tiny smile appeared. "It would've been nice to scout the area and take in little details. I didn't bring film with me, but I'm not kicking myself for not documenting the trip. I'll never forget it."

She was suddenly pulled to her feet with a surprised yelp. It mildly stunned her that Sam could stand that easily at the angle she was being leaned on. "Come on you, we're going out for ice cream!"

"It's forty-five degrees outside! Are you nuts? It's cold enough!" She argued, trying to wrench her hand free.

"Who said we were having it outside? Madre bought some for supper tonight and I don't think she'll object to us sneaking some as a welcome home for you."

Brown rolled as she allowed herself to be drug from the room. She sneaked a peek at the things left unpacked and sighed, knowing she wasn't going to get to them for a while.

She didn't say anything until they were in the car and Sam was turning the engine over. "A - ano...there was something Inaki and I talked about while we were in Japan. I was hoping to ask you about it and get your opinion."

Light blue looked across the way before Sam backed out into the street. "¿Qué?"

She looked out the window at the passing area, taking it in and losing her train of thought before they stopped at a light. "Ah, well...Inaki and his family don't really celebrate Christmas since they're not Christian or Catholic or whatnot. So I asked him if he wanted to spend it with us." Silence met her and she subtly looked over, resisting to twiddle thumbs in a fidget. Teeth bit her lip as bangs shadowed eyes, feeling her face heat up. "I - if you don't want to, I could see why. It's always been just us at your parent's house. I just have to let him know by tonight because I was hoping he could stay over at the house - "

"No hanky panky in the room when I'm there."

Her face instantly heated and temper sparked. "We have more reserves than that! We're not a pair of rabbits you know and - " She stopped and blinked, taken aback. "Does that mean it's okay?"

Sam grinned. "It's okay."

She beamed and settled in the seat, now unable to pass a few hours until Inaki was near her side again. It was horrible to part like they did and she was sad to see him leave, but it had to be done. He had to get home and inform his family he arrived safe and sound and tell of his trip, so she couldn't be selfish. She had him to herself all week with no interruptions.

Her face heated as a silly smile appeared. 'That I did.' She resisted a giggle at being so hentai in a time like now when she didn't want to explain her behavior to Sam who WOULD ask questions.

It would be okay. She knew the Merths would love Inaki and finally those two little monster brothers of Sam's would have another male presence in the house. Maybe they could bug Inaki - that'd be hilarious if they tortured him from the get-go - instead of them for a change. There hadn't been any wars since the hair dye and bugs incident and she was hoping to keep them away for a while longer.

College was almost over and she wanted to raise her grades even more before graduating. As much as she'd be obliged to study, payback was also high on that list.

------------------------------------------------------------

"That was a great meal Mrs. Merth."

"Please, call me Missy. I don't like everyone being so formal in my home."

She grinned. "It's okay koi, she'll nag you otherwise."

He snorted and pushed the chair back, stacking dishes and making his way to the sink. "Obaasan would nag ME if I were so informal to people I just met." He responded, turning hot water on.

"Oh no you don't mister." Missy answered, heading after him. She pulled arm away and shut the water off. "What do you think you're doing MY dishes for? Shoo, shoo."

He backed away with a grin, trying not to be embarrassed at something he always did at home. "Can't say I never tried to help."

"Well you'd be one of the few who actually did." Missy responded, dark eyes pinning her sons.

"Hey, don't give me that look, we help out enough!" Kevin argued, looking playfully put out.

"Yea, we keep our room picked up don't we?"

Missy's eyes rolled. "And that's all you do."

She tried not to laugh as she followed Inaki's example and brought her dishes to the sink, mostly to keep him from feeling too self-conscious. "Such little helpers you two are. Don't make me laugh boys."

"Them's fighting words missy."

"One night of peace please." Carl piped up, setting utensils on plate. Light-colored eyes looked to his sons in mild warning. "You can argue later. I want to enjoy desert for once. Take it outside if you still have the energy."

"Si padre." They chorused, piling their things together.

She directed Inaki back to his chair and grabbed their plates for Missy, since that meant desert would come faster. She set everything safely on the counter to be gone through with a smile. "That's almost everything."

"You're always so helpful; I wish my own daughter would get off her duff and do this for me."

"Your lazy daughter's duff is too full of extremely good, tasty, filling food right now to be moving." Sam kidded back.

"Bribery only goes so far hija." Missy smiled nonetheless and turned to the task at hand.

He grinned and tried to relax, feeling out of place with the language. Was this how K felt in his family's home before Kagome came and helped her comprehension? He kind of felt bad for not making an effort to help integrate her at the time, but it was an unmanageable now. He only hoped she would do the same for him more than what already occurred.

_"Inaki, these are my stubborn, obstinate, and all around pain in my family's asses little brothers, Kevin and Casey."_

_"Yo."_

_"We are NOT a pain in our family's ass!"_

_"WHO'S stubborn and obstinate?"_

_"Don't poke me!"_

_"You'll get used to their behavior Inaki - I had to." She piped up._

_"Mujer, you cause as much trouble around this place when you visit as Casey and I do." Kevin answered with a wolfish grin._

_She returned the smile. "Es verdad."_

_"Moving along now. Mis parientes are in the kitchen by the smell wafting through the house." Sam nearly yanked his hand from the socket and drug him through the living room. "Madre, padre - this is the hombre K wanted to bring tonight. Inaki, these are my parents Missy and Carl Merth."_

_He almost answered in Japanese and caught himself at the last second. "Pleased to meet you."_

_Missy smiled. "Well aren't you well-mannered. That's nice to know."_

_Carl extended a hand and he shook it. "Nice to finally meet el novio de mi hija. I've heard a few things about you."_

_She sidled up to him with a smile. "Don't worry, some stuff was good."_

_He looked at her with a cocked eyebrow, lips twitching at her playfulness. She seemed younger, more childlike in this place and he realized here was where she let go of all the inhibitions and responsibilities brought on by work and college. K exhibited a different side than what he normally got to see and he was glad to be able to see it tonight._

_"You're reaching for some retribution onna." He replied, eyes narrowing a little._

_She giggled and held her ground. "You think I'm scared of you? I've been through worse koi. Ne?"_

_"Keh. I'll just have to find your tolerance and break it won't I?"_

_Brown widened a little when he made a few steps in her direction. She backed up until bumping into the table. "Eh? Iya - yamero yo! Nannari ga ima shinai! Kigakite ka??"_

_"As nice as it is to know you've learned yet ANOTHER language, keep that on the low please. No fair talking when we don't understand."_

_She edged away when Sam started prodding her shoulder with a sly look. "Don't worry; I'm not whispering sweet nothings to him."_

_He snorted and suddenly swept her in his arms, feeling playful from so much lightheartedness in this house. "But K, I thought you liked talking to me as you just were."_

_A blush stained her face as brown took in everyone's amused and confused faces. She gave a part of his hair she could reach a yank. "Baka. Wrong person."_

_He ignored the pointed look and let her go to rub his scalp. "Hai, hai."_

He startled when a pair of familiar arms and scent enveloped him and he leaned back a bit into happy brown. "If you daydream in this house, Sam'll get you for it."

"That's only you chica. He's all yours."

"Joy of joys for me."

"Hey!" He argued.

She grinned and stepped back as he stood from the table. "You can get up later, I just saw you spacing out at the wall and there was nothing interesting on it so I thought I'd come see what was on your mind."

He shrugged and took his spot again. "Betsuzuni."

She mimicked him and took her spot to be served a dish of pie and a bowl of ice cream. She graciously thanked her surrogate mother before digging in. Missy's cooking was pretty good, even better than hers before and after Kagome's influence...and that was saying a lot. It was always a treat to come to such good home-cooked food and comfy atmosphere for a while. This was definitely her home away from home as much as Inaki's house was.

It was sad she never thought that way about the home she grew up in, but she no longer felt sad thinking that way. If Kagome taught her anything - and there were a lot of lessons in the past few months - she learned not to worry about some horrible instances. Bad stuff happens and the only thing to do is deal with it accordingly until it passes.

She watched Inaki for signs of the food and the widening of eyes told her he was pleased enough. She was glad he managed to get along with everyone who was as different as she was. She was never Hispanic to begin with and now she was more on Inaki's ethnic background with her full soul, but she had more time put here than he did. Newcomer was never fun and she tried to do everything possible to lighten his stress.

A foot nudged her under the table and brown shot up, immediately to Sam, but the girl was still digging in and clearly oblivious. She looked to Kevin and Casey to her right and though Casey was right next to her, he wouldn't have kicked her at that angle.

Brown turned deadpan and looked into brown subtly watching her. "Anata..." She nearly growled, trying to keep from smiling at his little boy look.

He put on his best innocent face and practically batted lashes in her direction. "Nani? Ore ga? Surely you jest."

Her fork pointed in his direction as she slowly lost the battle with her grin. "Anata wa imaimashii."

"Oi!"

"Inglés por favor."

She snorted and threw Sam a look. "You should talk." She retorted, turning to her ice cream before it melted.

"That I am."

She could get used to this. It felt like she really was part of the family, even though she was only in theory. She didn't need to be related by blood to these people to call herself kin. If anthropology lessons taught her anything, it was that blood was a very easy way to draw a line on a subject that was incredibly blurry.

It was kind of funny when she thought back to this morning of such depressing thoughts. One would think she was over that by her actions and speech. If she was going to leave here, would she truly be as she always had around her surrogate family?

It was absurd to think she wanted to leave this place. It was effortless to think the way she had while already overseas. Her emotions were swayed with the desire to act the ethnicity granted to her by her reincarnate. It was kind of funny to know she was Japanese in a past life since she had no clue what her last name stood for. As far as she knew, Himmen was German, but she knew she wasn't full-bred.

It was just another way in how little she knew of her own life. She knew plenty from Kagome's since her awakening and that was only a few months. How could she so severely take this precious existence for granted? There was not much fixing or backtracking to be done to save relationships or to do things she never did when younger, and it was foolish to try. All she could do now was go forward.

Hands propped her chin up as she stared at an empty spot on the table in contemplation.

It WAS silly to think she could live in Japan, so totally cut off from everything in this life, but it wasn't impossible. What would she do with her major and minor after graduation? If all went well, she hoped to finish by the end of spring or summer section. Summer would technically be the end of her senior year, since she started in the fall, but would've graduated faster if not for those extra credits not counting to her degrees.

She pouted a little at that. Not particularly a crime to take a subject thought to deal with one's field of study, but it was also necessary to add extra credits when the needed classes were taken up. There were a few semesters where she took something that sounded interesting because she couldn't fit in her main classes or they were already filled.

Still, she thought of becoming a teacher. There wasn't much to do with a history major except archaeology. Anthropology wasn't really her style except it went with history. After everything that happened, it was easy to see why she picked history, given Kagome's travels back in time. It was ironic that her future was chosen even when the girl still slept in her conscious.

There was only one thing she knew of to be sure. She still planned to continue dating Inaki as seriously as she could and maybe see a little more of him before she was busy. It pained her at not being able to talk to him or see him - even though distance wasn't thought of anymore - at her whim due to a class load and work. She felt a little bad at choosing school over him, but it was a necessary evil.

She stared at him, finding his wondering attention on her and gave a little grin. He was so handsome with his hair like that, his eyes so expressive and alive. They were such a beautiful brown and she couldn't tell if they were her favorite part of his body. 'Well...besides others.' She stifled a giggle and shoved a spoonful of ice cream in her mouth to divert her attention.

She went back to looking after a while, even when he became involved in a conversation about Andytown with Carl. The rest of Sam's family jumped in and asked as well, and she was content to listen and watch as he described his house, family, and city to them. She could picture everything he described, even though familiar with the place.

She was so in love it was either pathetic or incredibly romantic. She never had such a deep, dually received love like this - she knew he felt the same - and it made her heart swell to think of it. She felt so privileged right then to be apart of such a wonderful person's life and it was amazing to think he loved her almost as much as she loved him, if not more. Tears of happiness sprang to her eyes and she looked to the rest of the pie she hadn't finished off and made to take care of that before she started explaining herself.

---

"Now that Kalie's finally finished her desert, why don't you five head outside and enjoy the night air?"

"¡But madre, está fricísimo!" Sam whined.

"And you just got done eating something extremely cold. Go burn off that energy so you'll leave your father and me in peace." Missy reiterated, taking her plate and utensils.

The youths looked to each other before Kevin and Casey shrugged and stood. The other three followed and made for coat closet and shoes.

He looked to the vicinity of the kitchen, a little unsure at being able to go out when there were things to do and clean. No one at home left the eating area until all dishes were cleaned - or being cleaned, the table was wiped off, all food was not on tatami, and the appliances were not splattered on.

He leaned close to her ear. "Oi, kore wa daijoubu?"

She blinked at him until he looked back. She smiled and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Shinpai shinai. Missy wouldn't let us help unless we knocked her out. She keeps this place running and doesn't really like it being tampered with - even if you only want to help."

He nodded, even if he felt like a loafer for skipping out. "Aa..."

"Eng. Lish!"

They reared back with a yelp at the shout in their faces. "Sam...I'm going to hurt you for that!" She growled, slipping into a tennis shoe.

"Gotta catch me first chica." Yanking screen door aside, Sam rocketed outside and off the porch when she was nearly grabbed. "Watch the hair!" She yelled, adjusting the ornament given this afternoon and not removed. It was fastly becoming the Hispanic's most precious hair decoration and it meant even more knowing K spent a fair amount on it. That told Sam to take extra good care of it.

"I'm going to get her and give her grass stains for making me deaf." She grumbled, rubbing an eardrum.

He inhaled crisp, night air with a smile and tried not to laugh at her griping. "You're wasting precious time standing around talking to ME about it."

"I'm waiting for my cohorts." A devilish grin appeared and he slid a few steps away. "It's been a while since I was so horrible to Sam and I think she's becoming too rowdy for her own good."

"Got that right."

Brown swung over to the two brothers heading out. "She's a little too fast for me - care to tag team her?"

A hand went over Kevin's chest as he faked a shocked gasp. "My older sister? The one I'm supposed to be looking up to for advice and wisdom about the ways of the world?"

"Stuff it you dork. Of COURSE we're going to help." Casey gave his brother a swat to the shoulder and hopped off the porch. "She's probably at the backyard by now; shall we roast her out?"

She grinned. "One of you take the alley, the other the backyard...and use finesse won't you?"

The pair sniffed in distain before saluting. "You'll be taking the front I take it?" Kevin asked.

She nodded and shooed the two to their task, leaning against siding. "It's been a while since I've been so immature - I almost feel like the half person I used to be. Was Kikyou ever so playful?"

He sat on the steps and looked at her, brows furrowed. "It's not a question of whether she was playful, but whether it was ALLOWED to be like that. Your answer is not really, but don't worry about that now...I thought you had a best friend to hunt down."

She looked at him and grinned. "Let mis hermanos hunt her down first. I'll tackle her if she comes out of hiding. I'm taking the front and this's all there is to it."

He grinned and checked the neighborhood. "You guys remind me of the musketeers." He mumbled, reflecting on such similar behavior.

"Yea well, you're apart of that group so I know you want to help me when she shows herself."

"Didn't say I WASN'T; you just never verbally enlisted me."

She plopped down and rested an arm on his shoulders, mindful of his mane. "I know you'd be bored if we left you to your own devices, but how are you enjoying so far?"

He leaned against her and gave her temple a kiss. He didn't like that her skin was cold, but she wouldn't go in right now if he asked so he didn't bother. "Everyone is really nice. They've done a pretty good job at making me welcome...even if you DO speak in Spanish."

She snorted and poked him. "Now you know how I felt. When I'm here it's reflex. Sorry if you feel like I'm tuning you out by doing so."

"No biggie. Just one more language you know. Sheesh, how many does that make now?"

"Four. But trust me, my French is so rusty you'd need to give me a tetanus shot before I spoke it like I used to."

"Hmm, I'd like to hear that sometime. Could be a serious turn on."

She laughed and tried to tickle him. "Baka! Hentai da!"

"Only for you." He countered, grabbing her hands. He held them behind her back and used the position to thoroughly kiss her, getting no struggles.

Just as it was getting pretty good and to the point of steamy, footsteps sounded in the distance. "You guys! I thought I was supposed to be in trouble! Didn't I tell you no hanky panky K??"

She pulled away and took wrists back, giving an annoyed look at ruining such a nice kiss. "That's only at the house. And kissing is not that R-rated you idiota. I sent the boys after you, so you'd better go hide again before they find you."

Sam saluted with a grin and crossed the street to hide in a place Casey and Kevin wouldn't hunt in. She giggled as Sam disappeared in the night and leaned against Inaki for heat.

"That girl is too odd for words." He muttered, pulling her close and wrapping arms around her waist.

She snaked one around his back, grabbing hair to fiddle with. "She keeps me on my toes, what can I say?" The pair chuckled and quieted to enjoy the crickets and sound of breathing. Her cheek rubbed against his jacket, wishing for skin, before resting on his shoulder. "Thanks for coming."

"No biggie."

"It is." She mumbled, giving his hair a gentle yank. "I would've missed you if you stayed at home for two days."

"I'm only forty miles and a phone call away you know."

"Maybe, but it's been a while since I've been here it seems. I wanted to spend some time with these guys. But I still would've missed you..." He turned at the serious tone but she took that opportunity to kiss his cheek. She squeezed him a little. "Kite ni doomo arigatou."

"Welcome."

------------------------------------------------------------

She was so tired by the time they exhausted themselves outside, but she wasn't done. Even though they should be heading home for sleep, there was one thing yet to do.

She stifled a yawn and slouched on a dining room chair. "Hey mom."

"Kalie honey! Nice to hear from you. How was your trip? See anything exciting? Get a lot of souvenirs?"

She smiled and stood, making her way over to where Inaki rested against a counter to lean on him. "If you're asking if I got you something, I did."

"You should see what she got me mom!" Sam chirped, fingering the ornament still in her hair. Miraculously, the thick mass kept it pretty entwined for it being only shoulder blade long.

"Hello Sam."

"How was your day madre?"

"Kind of boring, but that's not a bad thing. Got some cleaning done around here and some presents wrapped."

She twisted and rested her back against his chest, head reclining to use his shoulder as a pillow. "Did I hear the 'p' word??"

Ella laughed. "When are you coming over tomorrow?"

"I don't know. I brought Inaki over to meet everyone and we had dinner together."

"That's nice of you. Did that go okay?"

"As well as can be expected. Want to say hi?" She didn't bother to wait for an answer and shoved the phone in his face, feeling mildly insomniac-happy at such a good end to the day. "Say hi Inaki."

"Hey Ms. Himmen."

"Hello Inaki dear. How are things at your house?"

"They're going fine."

She pulled the phone back and yelped at his fingers prodding her stomach. "Don't do that." She mumbled, tapping the antennae against his forehead. "Mom, we'll probably sleep in and then I'll head over. We'll use Inaki's car instead of Sam dropping us off."

"That sounds fine. Just give me a call to make sure I'm presentable when you come over."

She chuckled. Being an independent woman living all alone granted one the freedom to wear whatever. "Can do mom. I'm going to hang up now because I'm falling asleep here."

"Yea I know. Omoi da."

"Uresai." She mumbled, getting a kiss on the forehead. "I'll let you talk to Sam if you want."

"I'm pretty tired too, so I think I'll head with K madre. Nice talking to you like always."

"Same with you too Sam. Have fun now and I'll see you tomorrow Kalie."

They hung up and she set the phone on the counter, grabbing Inaki's arms and wrapping them around her waist. He tightened his hold after hers limply rested on his. "As nice as this is, why don't you move so we can get to the car and get back?"

"In a minute." She mumbled, nearly half-asleep already.

He gave her that and looked over to Sam. "Why do you call Ella 'mom' if you've already got one? You two aren't related are you?"

Sam snorted and made to put the cordless back. She grabbed the other and tapped Inaki's head with it, much to his helpless annoyance, before striding out of reach. "Dork. I don't need Ella to be my real mom to call her mom. Madre doesn't get angry or upset that I do; she thinks it's nice that I'm so close to K's family like that."

"Yea... Don't you remember me telling you at one time that this is my surrogate family? I get to call Missy madre and Carl padre just like the rest of the kiddies."

Sam hopped back to her spot and stared at the pair. "When you're friends with someone, you don't need blood ties to be close. We're lucky in that way."

He thoughtfully nodded, seeing a glimpse of how deep the two cared for each other. Brown closed and temple rested against temple as he took that in. He and the guys were almost that close, but not to the extent women took liberties with. He could count on them in any emergency, for advice, for fun, and companionship.

He could see where they were coming from and some of the deep friendship. He was that close to his family, even if they were a different category. It was a nice thing to have and rely on when you needed someone like that to lean on or just talk to. He felt lucky they both had that in this life.

"Enough of standing around. It's time to go home before you guys get any cuter than you already are."

Her head barely managed to pull its way vertical to peek an eye at her friend. "Do I have to move? I don't wanna."

Sam sighed and hopped down. "So sickeningly romantic..." She mumbled, heading for the front door. "Come on chica, your bed is calling you."

"Mmm, bed." She idly replied, pushing away to balance. She managed with Inaki's help and they all piled into the car. "It's too late for this crap. Every year - you'd think we'd learn."

Sam yawned and nodded. "Time flies by when you have fun and all that." She agreed, heading down the street.

He held her the whole way home, convinced she was snoozing by the fact that she started to drool on him. He was tempted to hold that against her if she didn't look so beautiful at the angle he stared. He so wanted to kiss those parted lips all night, but that would wake her up and he didn't want to do that until they got home.

It was tempting to try and accost her when they got to her room, but he heard what Sam said and would respect that. It would be hard as hell with the liberties he got to take last week, but he'd manage.

Damn hard as hell to manage!

He helped her into bed and pulled the covers over them before situating an arm over her waist. "Night K."

"M...morning..." She wryly drawled, yawning.

He snorted and gave a squeeze. He settled in to the silence, content to let her breathing lull him to sleep.

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100 correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations:** Omamori-Good luck charm sold at shrines Hitodenashi-(You) Ungrateful Ichirin kanzashi-Pin-shaped hair ornament with decoration on end Koi-Love

Iya - yamero yo!-No - stop it! Nannari ga ima shinai!-Don't do anything now! Kigakite ka-Are you crazy? Betsuzuni-It's nothing/Nothing really Anata-You Ore ga?-Me?

Anata wa imaimashii-You're annoying Oi, kore wa daijoubu-Hey, is this okay/alright Hentai da!-You're a pervert/You pervert! Kite ni doomo arigatou-Thanks for coming

Omoi da-You're heavy

**Spanish language will be translated underneath when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.**

**Translations: **Que bello-How beautiful Idiota-Idiot Qué?-What? Si padre-Yes father/dad Es verdad-This's true/It's true Mis parientes-My parents Hombre-Man

El novio de mi hija-The boyfriend of my daughter/My daughter's boyfriend Inglés por favor-English please Está fricísimo!-It's very cold/freezing!


	73. Ch 73

_"You invited me to a major holiday and spend time with people close to you; it's my turn to extend the invite."_

_"Are you sure? You don't mind having me for something so important?"_

_"It's not THAT important. But even if it was, I'd feel better having you to share it with. Do you think I'd celebrate the New Year's without you? I want to get my western kiss in too."_

_"Alright. What do you want me to pack?"_

She made sure to get Saturday off at the hotel, but didn't have to worry about Coffee Works, since Charlie gave it to her.

She had all day Friday to spend with him and had him pick her up as early as possible in the morning. She was excited to spend their first New Year's together. They were ticking off major and some minor holidays of both western and Buddhist nature the longer they were together.

She marveled at that and thinking back to the first time they met, having to pull out letters since she forgot the exact date, put them around the beginning of July almost two years ago.

That was mere friendship back then; when they did the whole pen pal routine. She calculated their dating from that first kiss at the end of March last year.

It didn't seem like it'd been that long... a year and five months since they became friends and nine months since they dated. So much happened in those nine months with Kagome and Inuyasha that it blew her mind how she survived. Not even some of her class loads were so hard to tackle!

If this was the end result of everything they went through, she was happy to've gone through the trials and errors, every hardship and horrible emotion to get to this point. This feeling of deep love and happiness couldn't be fought against. She was caught every time she thought of Inaki, saw his face, was in his arms, kissed him...

But if she knew she'd end up helping clean the outside dojo with him, she might've asked to be picked up later.

"Mou, I already did that pillar." She piped up, leaning back from her work of the other front porch support beam.

He stepped back and circled the piece of thick wood, taking in the job and giving it a critical eye. "Are you sure? I don't see enough polish on this thing for my tastes. I almost didn't think there was any on this to begin with."

She resisted slapping the dirty, oily rag over his head. "That's because you overdue everything." She airily answered, turning back to her work. Her hand pressed against the beam, rubbing in polish that would last until its next cleaning in a few months. "You're going to warp the wood if you aren't careful."

He sniffed and put some polish on his rag - mostly to get her goat - and redid the job she already finished. "I've been cleaning this thing since I started practicing here and jiisan and tousan taught me how. I know what I'm doing."

She turned around to retort and the words died at seeing him go over what she completed not even ten minutes ago. "Anata!" She grit out, clenching the rag. "I. Just. CLEANED that!"

He grimaced at her wrath, stepping back with hands in the air as if to ward her off. "Hai hai. But I want to go over it again just for peace of mind."

She scowled and looked to the interior, feeling a little disappointed he didn't take her word and trust she could help. "Mou...what am I even bothering for??"

A hand whipped out as she made to leave and gripped as she tried to jar herself free. "Because I asked you for help." He dropped the rag and tugged her a little closer. "I know you wanted to spend time with me, but you also learned from your new memories that we have to get the whole place cleaned before New Year's. If I knew you didn't want to help, I wouldn't have asked you."

She looked away, lower lip still jutted out. "Tadashii...demo - "

He leaned forward and kissed the cheek facing him. "If it'll make you feel better, I'll take the outer walls and let you finish the porch."

Deadpan brown looked back. "WITHOUT going over it again?"

A sheepish smile appeared, but he nodded. "Aa, without saying a word except praise for a good job."

She stared for a second before giving a minute smile and stepping back. He let her go and retrieved his rag, grabbed the bottle nearby, and headed to the side.

Black swished, but she resolved to let it go and get things done. They finished the interior together and this was all that was left. The sun was almost directly overhead and she wanted to finish before lunch. She might not be so energetic after good food to come back for more exertion. A grin appeared as she poured polish on her rag and got back to work.

It was a good feeling to be so productive and she WAS glad Inaki asked her aid. This certainly was much different than any work around the house or the hotel.

She knew one reason she was partially excited to do such medial tasks of cleaning and scrubbing was due to acquired knowledge about this holiday. The Japanese celebration definitely beat western any day and she was glad to be apart of this year's.

She was eager and anxious for tonight. There was a Bonenkai at the start of sunset and the whole neighborhood was invited. She heard from Jayden they had one the beginning of last week and wanted to end the year with a party. Also, they were having a Shinnenkai to ring in the New Year tomorrow night.

She wanted to help cook, now that she knew of the dishes for the festival, but was told all the women would be helping and there might not be enough walking room. All the men were ordered to keep out of the kitchen as much as possible to stay out of their way, but there was enough to do for them with repairs and cleaning, so no one was worried.

Jayden offered to let her wear another furisode for tonight and tomorrow. The girl promised they'd be different so no one would think she only owned one or didn't have extra to change into. It made her wonder just how many Inaki's sister had!

She wondered what kind of outfit she would get to borrow. Whatever it was, she knew it would be as beautiful as the last one she wore. A wry grin appeared at the thought of putting one on. Wouldn't Jayden's jaw drop when she showed off newly acquired skills without needing to be shown! It was going to be amusing to any degree, given that tying an obi took a while and if she could do it by herself, Jayden was going to wonder just where she took lessons.

Lunch was nice, except they had to find an extra zabuton and squeeze to make room for her. She hadn't eaten with the Yamois in so long it was almost strange to. Having the inside track to every minute custom, even as small as the proper way to hold and pick up chopsticks, made her feel like a different person. Sure she was, but she resolved to be more her...with a little use to Kagome's emotions.

They were a little surprised at how distinct she was with knowledge of every custom at the table. No one said anything, but she could see wonder and questions on their faces, and it was a fight to keep from laughing and even smiling at them.

She offered to help dust the basement and Inaki helped his father in tinkering with the heater to make sure everything was working smoothly like always. She thought it was cute that he wanted to be in the same room with her while they both had jobs to do; he didn't voice it and even though this was his home, he almost followed her around.

The women were busy getting cooking started and after a while, Jayden found her and mentioned they were the first to get dressed. She was pulled away from some of the dusting near the stairs, Inaki doing his workout area nearby, and easily dropped the rags and supplies on concrete to go wash her hands.

"I know just the outfit for you K-chan." Jayden gushed, dropping in front of her trunk.

She plopped on Inaki's bed to watch the girl pull out everything from the seemingly bottomless pit. "Just how much stuff DO you have in that thing??"

Jayden grinned and kept depositing geta, zouri, sensu, obiita, obimakura, koshihimo, juban, datejime, and obi onto the bed. "If you're implying I have a hole drilled through this and the floor, think again."

She giggled, but held hands in the air. "Never thought such a thing. It just occurred to me when I wondered what you would graciously loan me this time that you had a lot of furisode."

Jayden paused and leaned back on her heels, idly staring at an obi resting in her lap. "Ee... Well...I won't have much use for them soon."

She blinked, watching a smile slowly blossom on the woman's face before brown widened. She jumped up with a squeal, hands clapping in excitement. She gave Jayden a startle, but the woman recovered and continued rooting for their outfits. "Ah! When's the date? I never heard Inaki say anything about it - the baka." She fell to Jayden's side and rested hand on shoulder. "So when did it happen? How did it happen? Ne??"

Jayden paused and shifted to face her. A hand rose and showed off a silver and gold entwined ring. There were two tiny stones on them of different colors. "Koishii proposed while you two were in Tokyo. He wanted to give it to me for a Christmas present, even if we don't celebrate the holiday. He said he talked to tousan about it before making it public. I don't think Inaki remembered to tell you. This is my birthstone and the other is his."

"Wai...that is so romantic!" She beamed and peered close, not touching the ring while not invited to. "So have you two figured out a set date?"

Jayden nodded, taking her hand back. "We agreed on spring, while it's not so hot. We want it outside and he doesn't really want to wait. It was either that or autumn."

"I can imagine. You two have been dating for years haven't you?"

"It'll be almost five years. I was hoping he'd ask me sometime by this upcoming year; I'm just glad I got my wish."

She leaned over to hug the girl, still grinning. "Wai! Congratulations Jayden-chan! I know you'll be so happy - you two look good together and you're so cute too."

Jayden chuckled, returning the embrace. "Thanks. Now...how bout we get dressed, ne?"

"Un." She headed for Jayden's bed, looking at all the things on it. She grabbed two pair of everything they'd need, leaving the obi because she didn't know what color she'd need. There were half a dozen there before Jayden started carefully piling the main articles over everything.

"I think this'll be good. You want to start the New Year out right and this color is just the trick."

It was definitely red, that was certain. Beautiful, gold, silk thread forming chrysanthemums and smaller flowers, while white-stitched cranes flew around. The pattern was the same, but it was so beautiful. "Kirei..." She breathed, reaching out to touch fabric.

Jayden grinned and reached inside again. "I knew you'd like it." An obi of gold background with orange and white lines decorated its front. "This'll do for the rest. I just need to get you a kanzashi and you're all set."

She held the obi and ran fingertips over it, pleased that Jayden always took great pains to make her look lovely. "Doomo arigatou Jayden-chan for your thoughtfulness." She murmured, blinking back tears. It was almost like having an older sister in a way, though this was different than her relationship with Sam. This was a more mature sister-like bond.

Brown met brown. "You're welcome." The woman's brow furrowed in thought at something just occurring to her. "You must divulge where you learned such fluent Japanese. You've been using words and phrases all day long. You must've picked up a lot in Tokyo, didn't you?"

She gave a sheepish laugh. "Ah well...I picked it up quite easily in the past few months. I heard a lot of it around Inaki and...well, it was easy to learn by ear I guess."

She felt kind of bad for mildly lying to Jayden, but even if the family was Buddhist, logic dictated that she would be nuts if she started telling of her reincarnation.

Jayden hummed as she dug for her things. The girl pulled out a deep purple furisode with detailed towers and bridges. Cherry blossoms and trees added to the majesty of the thing. A monochromatic goldish obi completed the picture, intricate patterns of clouds and carriages to finish the city-like scene.

Jayden handed her a juban and without thinking, she stripped and slipped arms through sleeves. She crossed both sides and was reaching for a datejime without undoing everything when she caught sight of Jayden. The woman was looking at her with a mix of surprise, confusion, amusement, and awe. She mentally panicked a degree, trying to formulate an explanation without going into the reincarnation thing. They agreed the whole issue was between them and weren't going to tell either friend or family.

"Ah...I - uh - "

"You sure seem to pick things up rather quickly K-chan. I'm amazed at your comprehension."

She grinned and continued tying the cloth and stuck edges inside the front. "I do my best." She kidded, reaching for her furisode.

"Then you don't need help with the rest of your clothes?"

Black idly swished as she started measuring the excess to go around her waist. "I'll need your help for the obi. Now that I know how to tie one without being a doll, it should go faster for the both of us. Then we can get back to help, ne?"

"Well, I wouldn't mind taking a break..."

She laughed and started tying koshihimo to keep the front closed to work with. She grabbed another datejime and finished off half of the job, taking a minute to survey her first solo piece in the mirror.

It wasn't too bad. The red was definitely bright enough and she knew Inaki would have no trouble finding her throughout the night. It was a beautiful piece, and she was glad and proud to wear it.

She mentally noted how alike Kagome she looked in this thing, but that wasn't a bad thing. Kagome was rather beautiful and she was beginning to accept more of her looks due to the rest of her emotions now hers. She felt very feminine in this and twirled the lengthy sleeves in childlike glee.

Her head shook before moving on to get the obi taken care of. That was going to take the longest and even if she knew how to do a simple box back, it would be faster if Jayden could help.

She grabbed an obiita and secured the clasps. Jayden was right there when she started wrapping the lengthy material and together they had up to the obimakura. She slid that on while Jayden held the back together before proceeding. They wound an obiage around the obi and she quickly tied it a temporary bowtie over her chest. This was much easier without having koshihimo to worry about and in no time, Jayden was threading an obijime through the obi box. She quickly tied the thread and secured the loose ends, finishing with the obiage and stuffing that inside the obi.

"Ah...tsuini owatta..." She mumbled, flexing fingers and stretching arms.

Jayden chuckled and together the two repeated the process after the second furisode was on. "I must say K-chan, we do look very nice."

She grinned and stood aside so they could both admire their handiwork in the mirror. "I definitely agree."

"Now for the kanzashi!"

"We're not done yet??" She nearly whined, wanting to plop on the bed. She only restrained herself with help from the obi's width, remembering how hard it was to sit or lean in these things.

"No, but you can sit for a while so I can fix your hair."

"You can just stick it in a ponytail for all I care. Inaki isn't going to mind with the rest of this on me." She grinned, but sat up for the woman to get better access to her mane.

"Part of the fun is to impress your man." Jayden nearly lectured, tapping a finger on her crown. "Besides, it's much more fun to render them speechless and rather silly-looking when they keep opening and closing their mouths."

She giggled. Brown closed in bliss at slender fingers combing her hair the way they needed. She remained lost for a while, vaguely pondering what her hair would look like before she pondered the kanzashi Jayden picked out. She inquired about it before it was handed over for inspection.

It was pretty. Two red fabric flowers with green ribbon and goldish wire at the top. She kept it upon instruction, but moved hands back to be makeshift clips while Jayden did something else with her hair. It was finally tied back and her arms dropped to grab the ornament. After securely deposited, Jayden tapped her and she stood.

"I have something special in mind, but I still need your help. I'll try and direct what I need from you, okay?"

"Hai."

She started out with a simple, loose ponytail at the crown of Jayden's head. The loose part underneath was separated into two sections, both limply twisted and stuffed above the ponytail holder and left free. Jayden's hands snaked back and undid some of the twist to let it hang open and give volume. The ponytail was twisted into a bun and tied, the kanzashi stuck just above the holder to keep the two sections from coming apart tonight.

She had to admit, the girl was original. "Did you take classes for this?" She wondered, searching for a mirror to see her own design.

Jayden stood and patted everything to make sure it was the way she wanted it. The woman snatched a hand-sized mirror and handed it over. "No, but I'd like to be a hair dresser. I feel I have the creativity for it...or at least interesting designs to go with these things."

"Very correct." She idly answered, trying to get the reflection just right.

Brown widened and her jaw dropped as she peered close, trying to catch details. Jayden took the chunks of hair normally resting over her ears and braided them along the back of her head to the center. They tied there and the rest hung wild, the kanzashi covering the tie in the center.

She beamed at the woman, resisting the urge to hug her and muss something. "It's beautiful! I love it - I absolutely love it!"

Jayden smiled and nodded in appreciation for the praise. "You have nice hair to work with." The woman smirked. "I almost think you my doll for the way I get to dress you up."

She looked down at the furisode, giggling. "I feel like it. But it's fun and I don't mind."

"Now for the finishing touch." Jayden handed over a pair of white tabi and the two sat to slip into them. Jayden carefully kneeled to put everything else away and she grabbed zouri for them to take downstairs. "We'll get slippers on down there. I don't have any in my room, but I wouldn't want my tabi to get too dirty."

She nodded and shut the lights off as Jayden passed. 'I wonder what Inaki is going to say this time.'

The last time she wore one of Jayden's furisode was in a transitioning period when Inaki started showing interest...and nearly kissed her. She couldn't believe it'd been so long since that happened and she wondered what he'd do this time. Now that he had free reign over her body, would he take advantage of how she looked and try something? It was a little hard with his entire family wandering around, but she still tingled thinking about it.

"Kaasan, we're finished. How is everything cooking? Did you start the soba dough yet?"

"Musume you look lovely. You too K-san."

Her head inclined with a smile, not wanting to bow with the obi restricting movement. "Thank you very much. I can't wait to see what you have as well. Everyone seems to have such beautiful clothes. They're almost like art." She stopped next to the woman, meeting her eyes. "Are you sure there isn't anything I can do to help?"

"Well your cleaning is done now with that on. If you don't mind, you could go decorate the front and back engawa with a few pieces we constructed yesterday."

"Hai." She beamed, glad to be able to do something more than just stand or sit around.

Mamorah poked her head into the conversation, drying hands on a towel hanging off her apron. "Musume, go and get that son of yours and have him help. She won't be able to do the overhead with those sleeves and he can carry it for her." The elderly woman winked. "We'll leave the design to you, ne?"

She eagerly nodded, mind twirling with ideas of whatever they had in the mental map of the place. She leaned against the counter opposite the sink to keep from getting dirty, watching Jayden thread a tie around her body to keep sleeves from getting dirty. An apron protected the front before the girl started in with the noodle mix.

She watched in fascination, knowing how to make buckwheat noodles by hand, as water and flour combined to make the mix. Footsteps jarred her just as Jayden was getting to the rolling pin and she turned to them.

A sheepish smile graced her face as Inaki stared with nearly bulging eyes and open mouth. Unlike last time, she now knew he was pleased with the outfit and slowly twirled for him. "You like I take it?" She asked, taking a few steps to him.

He finally blinked when hand brushed chest, swallowing hard. "Utsukushii..."

She blushed and leaned in to kiss him. He accepted, but didn't kiss her as long as he wanted with the women in front, avidly watching them with almost matchmaking glances. Oh the thoughts in their head if he and K weren't dating... "You're supposed to help me decorate the place." She informed, stepping back to let Kristine by.

He nodded. "I think I'll get dressed too in case it takes a while. If not, it'll be warmer." He grinned and backed up to the steps. "I think you'll like what I have in mind. We'll match."

She blinked, mouth open to ask what he meant, when he hopped the steps and headed down the hall. She was left standing there before forcing herself to move. She didn't want to lag around in the middle of a traffic area and could make herself busy by checking out where she would be and get ideas.

She slipped into zouri and pulled the patio door open. It was certainly chilly and she made a mental note to ask for a shawl or haori, if she could find a way to make it fit. It would be a shame to cover the furisode, but she didn't want to freeze or stay inside all night just to keep warm. If she was lucky, there would be sake served tonight and she could sneak some.

She stood above steps, mindful not to catch silk the railing and snag it, looking at neighboring backyards. Her breath fogged and it made her think of snow in Tokyo and those few stops in California. She wished it WOULD snow, though she wouldn't be able to walk around in zouri. Even geta would be too short, but it would be worth it to stand in it with Inaki next to her.

She thought back to the fun days they played in the snow at Tokyo, wanting those back. In a Japanese-style house, complete with clothes - only on holidays, but still... - and mannerisms, it made her wish for Kagome's country again. She couldn't help the peaceful feeling it invoked. If she closed her eyes, she could picture Chuo Park blanketed in snow and running through it. She could still see the frozen river; the trees even more beautiful covered as they were...

She sighed, feeling a little nostalgic. What she wouldn't give to go back right now. It was an empty wish - she couldn't go with classes mere weeks from starting. 'Still...it would be nice to go again. Maybe stay a little longer than a week.'

Arms snaked around her waist and she yelped. Flaming red covered the furisode and such a familiar blood color tickled her senses. She stepped out of his embrace, not wanting the box closure to come undone and turned.

Her mouth dropped. He was wearing what looked like Inuyasha's fire rat, minus the magic! His hair was unbound and the only thing that made him Inaki and not Inuyasha was the white tabi and zouri.

She blinked, searched for words, blinked, moved her mouth, blinked again, and finally forced herself to stop gaping like a fish.

It was like a step back in time, back in life. Did Inaki wear this on purpose for some reason, or was this something that his other self influenced in some unknown way? The only difference in the design was the lack of slits on the shoulders giving away to the juban underneath. There was still the same hakama with elastic at the ankles and haori. All he needed was the prayer beads.

"Like?" He asked, twirling. She ignored the hair brushing against her, too at a loss for words to pick her brain up. "I wanted to wear something nicer than normal to celebrate such a special New Year's."

"Why?"

He blinked. "Why what? Why dress fancy to celebrate?"

"Why that?"

He gave a dry look. "You're not going to get on my case about wearing this are you? I just got something from obaasan coming out here."

Hands gripped haori, not really seeing him, trying to push away the sudden flash of Kagome's memories with human Inuyasha in them. She absently stared at his chest, focusing on the color to keep her from getting swamped.

"Are you okay?"

"This...you're wearing this."

"Yes..."

"The same thing. Why? How can that be? Sure it's not exactly and the powers aren't there, but how can that be?? What kind of fated twist is this?!"

He sobered a little, hands covering hers. "I didn't realize exactly what this was either until I saw his memories, but I'm not going to throw it out just because they look so similar. This was my seijin no hi present and I do like to wear it from time to time."

She nodded. She was directed to his sight by a hand, blinking to focus on him. It took a second before the images vanished entirely, leaving her with concerned brown.

She stepped back, rubbing a hand against her face to loosen the tension. "I'll - I'll be okay. It just came upon me all at once. It's the first time I ever experienced dreams or flashbacks in the daytime without her influence. Your outfit was too much of a catalyst I suppose."

"Should I take it off if it triggers her so much?"

Black swished negative. "I'll be fine. It's passed. It was just seeing it again after so many months. Last time I saw it, Kagome was more in the forefront." She gave a smile to reassure him, resting palms over haori. "Mou daijoubu."

He nodded and leaned down for a kiss. "Everything is stored in the traditional room. Give me a minute to go fetch a box so you can get started decorating."

Dinner was as good as lunch, if not more. It'd been a long time since she had buckwheat noodles, and the taste was the same as Kagome used to enjoy.

They had a small dinner of soba, rice, grilled sea bream, and daikon and carrot pickles. She was pretty stuffed by the time she finished even one round they piled on her plate and there was still another feast soon!

This was only a small side meal. There were much more soba, fish, steamed shrimp, daikon, rice, and a few others she never got a good chance to look at. Somehow, all that food was going to be kept piping hot for the next half an hour or so while everyone got dressed and welcomed guests.

She headed out back after trying to help clear the table and was practically dragged outside by Inaki after the women forbade her to touch the dishes. She knew it was embarrassing for a guest - though she'd been friends with Inaki for nearly a year and a half - to even think of helping the host. It was bad manners, as the host was responsible for the comfort of their guest, and she cringed at the reminder. She didn't do it on purpose or to make the Yamoi women think they couldn't do anything in their own house, but she was too helpful for her own good.

She turned away from the outside, previously staring at a badminton net, to go apologize, but Inaki kept a firm grip on her arm and wouldn't let her near the glass door. She whined she had respect and apologies to make up for, but he assured his family knew she was only trying to help and it would make it worse if she went in instead of staying out of their way to let them work.

It was amazing they allowed her to help set up, but maybe they gave in because she asked so many times. She suddenly felt like a nuisance and blushed, bangs covering eyes.

No one made comment about it, except for how nice everything looked. There was only a dozen pieces made, but she made them work around doorways and steps of both engawa. Everyone liked her simplistic style, but she wouldn't take their praise because she just set up what they made. It was hardly worth getting a small ego over something she barely participated in.

People started arriving in near swarms, apparently meeting at other houses and heading over at once. Some brought presents and many allowed them to be opened right away, saying food was inside for the party.

There was definitely plenty of sake and she needn't worry about that extra padding for warmth. Plum sake was brought as well and as soon as everyone gathered, special glasses for the alcohol were produced and filled.

This would be the first time ever she got to have it in this life. She didn't recall seeing a memory of Kagome or Kikyou trying some, but she betted Kagome might've tried a sip in her days. She asked Inaki to get them some and in minutes, he produced two glasses and handed warm porcelain over.

She made to drink it, but seeing he hadn't brought it to his mouth made her pause. In fact, no one had taken a sip and many simply kept it in their palms as if to keep it from going cold. She mentally wondered, looking around and spotting Kristine and Mamorah still pouring drinks. It seemed everyone had a cup except them and when the Yamoi family was equipped, the elders and parents held up their glasses. Everyone mimicked and with a loud chorus of 'dozo' from the family, neighbors openly slurped.

This was the first time she had alcohol of any kind, not seeing what the big deal was with drinking in the first place, and was glad this was it. She didn't know if this was regular or plum sake, but it was good!

"Irreshaimase minna-san!" Mamorah nearly bellowed, stopping next to them at the railing. "We are pleased so many could stop tonight to finish out this year with us and would like to thank you all again for coming. Thank you for your gifts and generosity; thank you for your friendship. Kanpai!"

"Kanpai!" Everyone finished off the rest of the tiny cups and talk spread throughout the backyard immediately after, many hunting for refills.

She almost felt giddy. The alcohol had very little effect except burning her throat as it went down, since she had dinner not that long ago. The atmosphere was as intoxicating as the sake and for a split second she looked past who she was and the largest trial of her life to gain an epiphany never seen before.

She felt like she fit in, not on a polite basis so people wouldn't make her uncomfortable; not because she was now of their ethnicity in a way; and not really because she knew every habit. She was who she was no matter what soul she had and everyone in eyesight accepted her as friend and friend of the family. The Yamois never judged her or patronized her because of her beginning ignorance - they were always nice. The neighbors she encountered in the few parties like this seemed interested in her and her life, though they asked few questions to keep from being impolite.

It wasn't the clothes she wore, or the way her hair was done, the food she ate, or the mannerisms she tried to exhibit to fit in. Nothing alone was reason for this; it was everything at once and none of it.

She wanted to hug someone. Now. She was so happy and euphoric as this was the first time she felt so mentally free and open. She could behave as an outsider to their culture or privy to every act and they would still like her regardless.

Awe and glee lit her face and refused to dissipate. This truly was the end of the year and just as Inaki's family practiced, she could forget last year and do twenty ninety-nine as a brand new one. It wouldn't be just another year; this was one with so many major steps - she would make this one count!

"Don't tell me you're drunk already. Lightweight."

She quickly set the glass down and clasped hands, meeting his eyes and bypassing teasing. "You have no idea how good I feel! The insight I just gained...the notion I just comprehended - it's blowing me away!"

A brow rose, but he smiled at the purity of joy she excluded. "It must be big whatever it is." He answered, grabbing china off railing. "I'll get you another round and you can tell me about it, ne?"

She nodded and turned to watch the crowd, still smiling. Brown took in so many colorful furisode, irotomesode, houmongi, hakama, and haori. She relished seeing such variety of beautiful clothing and betted she probably always would.

In no time a red arm snaked over her shoulder and produced a rather full, steaming cup. She quickly took it to keep from spilling anything. Inaki rounded and turned to face her, holding his glass up. "So, what do we toast to? Everyone got the mass in, let's have our own."

She thoughtfully hummed, even if the answer was obvious. She wanted to toast to acceptance, bliss, beginnings, cementation of old relationships, and to grace. "Love." She blurted. She mentally scolded herself and made to take it back, but it was still something nice to toast. "I'm a sap, but it can never get too much attention."

He grinned and held his glass to hers. "No argument there. To love then."

"Love...and acceptance." She gently tapped their sides before daintily sipping the concoction. This was sake, but it had a slightly different flavor. It was a little sweeter and upon question, found she had plum this time. She catalogued the flavors and finished the rest.

An hour after milling around, eating, and talking, someone got out the rackets and a dozen people squared off. Many people crowded around the grass and engawa for a good view. Inaki was goaded by one of his neighbors to be a man and astonish her with how well - or not - he could play. Of course Inuyasha's pride wouldn't let that blow go by and with a quick squeeze to her arm; he headed down and snatched a racket.

A few people headed inside after twenty minutes and murmurs of karuta at the eating table broke out. Someone distinguished the type as iroha karuta and she was tempted to see the proverbs, but would be rude to leave Inaki to his game when he was partially playing to impress her.

Many around her commented on the game and cracked jokes at Inaki's expense while he couldn't hear. She knew it was all in fun and made a few herself, succeeding in getting a few to laugh and it cemented the new feeling and realization deeper in her mind.

There were a lot of remarks of how good she looked in Jayden's furisode, but this time she knew instead of accepting their kind words, it was more appropriate to think little of them. It was better to be humble and explain why she was wearing it than to let her ego swell. Her hair gained a lot of attention in both praise for the design, which also went to Jayden, and change. They were amazed it grew so fast, since many remembered seeing it shoulder-length at the other main gathering she was at.

She didn't need to lie and didn't feel like she was lying when she merely said her hair grew fast. No mention of Kagome, no thought of how to pick truth from lie, was needed. She was beginning to feel like adopted kin the more she talked with grandparents and parents of the neighborhood.

Inaki joined her as soon as his game finished, complaining about being overly warm and sweaty. Those that heard jeered in good fashion, which he returned, and she laughed.

"What time is it?" He asked, looking around as if to spot a wall clock.

"Do you see me with a watch?" She grabbed a hand and skillfully drug him around people the short distance inside. She ignored his whining about the heat produced from the stove and looked around. "It's eleven fifty." She announced, letting go.

He ignored those looking up from the game and stopped close, drawing her into his arms despite his comments of perspiration. "Good, I don't wanna miss getting my kiss."

Her head ducked, heating up from a few chuckles nearby. "I would prefer the entire neighborhood being absent if you don't mind." She backed away and grabbed zouri before heading for the front, since the party was in the backyard. Crisp air greeted her again as she pushed screen door aside and stepped out.

The night was cold, but it was clear and that only added to it. The stars shone and a large moon was nearly overhead. It was so romantic...the night couldn't possibly get any more so.

She turned, but Inaki wasn't there. Her head tilted in confusion, but she knew he'd join her - he wanted that kiss after all - and stepped to the sidewalk. More sky presented itself and she tried to find what constellations she knew.

The door opened and Inaki hopped the porch, sandals slapping on concrete. She gave a weird look when he was close enough to see, minutely ignoring the arms going around her. "Where did you go?"

He grinned and stepped closer. "To get a watch."

She giggled and carefully wove arms around in return, resting cheek on chest and smelling the tiny remnants of cologne mixed with his scent. She could hear him doing the same to her and smiled.

The silence was so nice. Even if sounds wafted from the backyard, they were faint, but enchanting. "You're a regular Rico Suave you know that?" She kidded, squeezing him. "Fancy clothes, under the stars, nearly full moon, quiet night, cool air...did you write the gods on this one for help?"

He snorted. "Nope, I just get lucky like that once in a while." He spied a quick glance at the time, seeing they had a few minutes. "It's been one hell of a year though. I never thought in a million years something like this would happen to me."

"Mm."

"I mean, I was a lazy son who had no plans for the future and no real college experience. Not much of a life. Then I met you by some freak accident that turned out to be fate and find out we were meant to be together after all. I don't care who we used to be; we're us now and our feelings are original without influence from them."

She pulled back with a small pout. "I don't want to think of them anymore. Kagome and Inuyasha are somewhere in some other realm together as happy as we are."

"Provided she's not sitting him to oblivion."

She smirked. "Or he's not calling her a bitch and baka every ten seconds."

"That has an animal connotation to it and you know it!"

She grinned and shifted arms over his shoulders, leaning a little more against him. "In all my time with and without you, I know my feelings are my own. Everything was worth it to come up to this. I don't regret or wish anything was different or never took place." Hands twisted and brushed against the nape of his neck, getting noticeable shivers. "I've learned to come to my own spot in life with the other aspects of my soul and who I am. I'm not worried about fate and destiny - I'm just worried about us being together."

Brown softened. "Well you don't need to think about that; there's no way I'm going to let you go...not knowing how I feel about you and visa versa."

She nodded and brown rolled when his arm rose to check the time again. "Baka."

"Hey, I've got ten seconds so I'll make this fast. I love you Kalie, so very, very much."

Her nose burned with impending tears, even as he leaned in. "I love you too." His mouth swooped down and captured hers, not letting her get anything else out.

It was a mild kiss compared to some of the steamier ones they shared. His lips didn't move much, if any, as if content to just touch hers until they had to let go. It was very tacky to display such emotion in public, but this wasn't the Heisei Jidai. Even though everyone was Japanese, they understood the depth of love and need for it to be released...especially in two young people as themselves.

A few catcalls and hoots abruptly sounded from the front door. Both pairs of eyes popped open and they looked to the area, faces heating. Half of Inaki's family lined the doorway, neighbors pulling back curtains over windows and a few were bold enough to stand on the porch to watch.

She pulled away; face warm enough to keep her nose from freezing. Perhaps Inaki's little announcement in the kitchen got more curiosity and attention than he wanted or predicted.

They headed up the porch, Inaki getting most of the ribbing, while Jayden kept commenting how cute they looked when they kissed. Some of the other mothers gushed about young love and her face went even warmer by the time she got out back. She was relieved to know, after stepping into much better lighting, Inaki's face was red all the way to his ears.

The party ended late and by the time she got to bed, it was barely worth it to head there. She took Inaki's bed before he did, too tired from the events to fight exhaustion any longer. She changed, folded everything on the desk in case Jayden stumbled in as well, and flopped on the futon in pajamas. Sometime halfway between sleep and consciousness, the bed shifted and she felt an arm go over her waist. Lips nibbled on an ear for a second, almost heating her up if she weren't so weary, before a happy sigh and all was silent.

They were both woken too early - MUCH too early! She groaned and buried face under covers in spite of the messenger while Inaki sat up and rubbed his eyes. Having Inuyasha's sleep habits - and probably for the rest of his life - he pulled covers aside and stood. She was too sleepy to comprehend what was going on, as it was still dark outside, but knew she should have an idea.

"Up you - we're going to miss it."

"Miss WHAAAH! COLD!" She yelped and scrunched into a ball, all heat gone when Inaki yanked the comforter away. She moaned and looked around the room, finding Jayden stretching a short distance away.

"Come on lazy bones - you CAN'T miss this!"

She gave a few pitiful whines before giving in and sitting up, arms crossed to conserve heat. "Whatever it is, can't it wait?"

He snorted and folded the blanket before dropping it on top of the chest. "Not so likely."

She stared at the thick mass, highly tempted to grab it for a few more minutes as Inaki strode from the room. It would be amusing to see how he handled round two, but whatever it was, he wouldn't wake her without reason when she had so little sleep.

That prompted her to swing feet over and touch chilly tatami. She yelped and toes curled, feet shooting into the air. "What I wouldn't give to have a pair of socks..." She mumbled, toughening it out and standing. She bent at the waist to get some blood flowing, throwing arms over her head after, and bending backward.

"If you like, I can get you some slippers."

"Iie...I'm just being a baby." She replied, heading for her bag. She grabbed a few bathroom things and headed for the downstairs room since Inaki was in the upstairs yet. She passed Kekoy and nodded. "Ohayo Kekoy-ojiisan."

"Ohayo K-san." He answered, smiling. "You're going to observe the morning with us too?"

She nodded. "It's tradition, but Inaki didn't give me a choice anyway."

The old man laughed and patted an arm before striding by and letting her use the lavatory.

She was in an out in five minutes and when the door opened, the smell of coffee and Jasmine tea hit her nose. She greedily inhaled, not knowing which she wanted more. She gave a quick greeting to those huddling in the kitchen, some as slow as she was to wake up apparently, before dropping everything in her bag and grabbing a pair of clothes.

Inaki was coming out of the huge closet while tugging a sweatshirt over his stomach. She tossed jeans and sweater on his bed. "Out you so I can change."

He stopped short, giving a weird look. "I beg your pardon, but it's not like I haven't seen it all before."

"Maybe ototo, but give us girls our privacy. I would like to talk to K-san in private."

She went beet red at Jayden knowing they had a sex life, even if it was nothing new probably, and stuck her tongue out at her boyfriend. He returned the gesture and a quick ruffle to her hair before leaving. "Mou...ano baka." She grumbled, running fingers through locks she just fixed minutes ago. "What did you want to talk to me about Jayden-chan that was so important?"

Said person sat at the edge of her bed, resting a hand on the large trunk. "Please sit down K-san; I have a serious question for you."

She blinked and immediately plopped down, clothes forgotten. "I will do my best to answer then."

Jayden nodded and looked to polished wood. "As you know, I will be getting married in only a few months. I will need to get all new traditional outfits to wear. I will have no use for my furisode when that time comes."

She nodded. Only unmarried women could wear furisode, since the length of the sleeves was a sign enough of their unwed status. Jayden was going to need kurotomesode, irotomesode, and maybe a few houmongi. Even if they would undoubtedly be expensive, she betted on the family chipping in as a wedding present.

"So K-san," Jayden continued, "as Inaki is my only other sibling and I know of no itoko to give them to, I will need to give them away or sell them." Brown met brown. "After so many years of wearing them, it would cheapen the value and respect I have for their patterns to sell them to whoever will or won't treat them properly as I have. I know of a few friends in the city who I think might do them justice, but I have my doubts."

Her brow furrowed. "Surely you should be able to entrust such important clothing to your friends..."

Jayden's head shook. "I want to be absolutely sure. I want the person after me to love and care for them as I have. I've owned these for a decade and a half - I need to know they will be in good hands." Jayden reached across and took a hand, meeting her eyes. "I feel we have not been able to talk or spend much time between ourselves with you and Inaki always together. I feel bad for not asking for your time, knowing you are so busy with school and work - "

Her free hand quickly waved in defense of such downtrodden words. "Iie, iie! It's not your fault Jayden-chan. I kick myself for not thinking of you. I have given all my attention to Inaki and not bothered to get to know his family much, if at all. With the many months I've been here, I am not a very good girlfriend."

Jayden patted her hand with a reassuring smile. "You are gracious enough to learn our language and customs, wear our clothes even though offered, and participate in our holidays. You are a special person K-san and I hope you will accept when I say I would like to give you all my furisode."

She sat in abrupt shock, mouth open. Words swirled in her brain of why, but her tongue wouldn't work. She gaped like a fish for a few seconds, feeling Jayden's skin tingle against hers as her body ran on autopilot and kept her upright. She feared she would slide off the bed in surprise and giddiness if it didn't.

"Please tell me you will K-san. I feel I can trust you and I've made up my mind. You willingly wear them every time and take especially good care not to get even the tiniest speck of dirt on them. It would make me very sad if you wouldn't accept them because you are too kind. I know they are expensive and there are a good number, but I feel you are worth it."

Tears sprang to her eyes and she moved to hug the girl without thought. Her head started nodding and didn't stop, bobbing like a doll on a wayward string. "Hai, hai...Yes I accept - I will take them." She pulled back, tears streaming down her face, taking the girl's hands in her own. "Thank you, oh thank you Jayden-chan! Totemo ureshii da! You have no idea how thrilled I am! I swear to take good care of them - I won't let you down!"

Jayden smiled and took her hands to wipe away tears. "I know you will...that's why I knew I could give them to you. I will have them wrapped and ready for you to take home before you leave."

She startled. "So soon? I get to take them home today?? You don't want to keep them for another holiday before your wedding?"

Jayden's head shook. "The next big holiday is syunbun no hi and I hope to be almost wed by then. I will be too busy with final plans to get dressed up. If I wear traditional clothes, I think I would try my mother's to see how they look on me. I must get used to the new sleeves."

She stood and pulled the woman with her, fiercely hugging her again. "I know I'm a little clingy right now," She mumbled, more tears forming, "but I know of no other way to show my gratitude. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!"

A knock on the door ruined the moment, but she didn't pull away. "Are you two dressed YET?? I want to get something in there!"

Brown rolled as she moved to clean her eyes. Jayden strode over and pulled the door open, revealing them both in pajamas. "Ototo...we're busy, come back in a few minutes."

His head easily peered over her shoulder, brow furrowing at seeing K so happy and crying at the same time. "What the hell did you tell her?"

Jayden smiled and pushed him back to shut the door. "You'll know in a few hours when you take her home."

It was a beautiful sunrise. It was cold as hell, but the family bundled up in blankets, thick tabi, and held a steaming mug to warm and wake them.

She watched the rainbow above and marveled at the luck recently going her way. Whatever she did to deserve this was divine intervention or a good streak after so much bad. It was amazing to compare everything since meeting Inaki. Introducing herself to him easily proved to be the biggest rollercoaster drama of her life, but she wouldn't take back any of it.

She leaned against her human pillow, getting no complaints as he wrapped an arm over her shoulders, and subtly took in the family. Jayden and her fiancé Chad sat close enough to share a blanket, Inaki's parents took up a few chairs next to each other, his grandparents held hands, and Setsumo sat next to them. She felt bad he no longer had his wife by his side to enjoy the New Year, but he didn't seem sad in the least. Of course, she couldn't tell because his face was rather expressionless, but there was nothing in his eyes to give away his feelings. He let that go and kept Mira in his heart and memories and she was sure to be sharing this with him on some plane of existence.

She smiled. Everyone was together, even at the crack of dawn and only a few hours of sleep after so much partying. She could see neighbors lining their porches same as them. Some waved and she returned it with everyone else, not embarrassed in the slightest. It was nice to feel they were all enjoying the sunrise together, even as spread out as everyone was.

Just like many other times she spent a quiet, contented time with the Yamois, she wished this feeling would never end. Time always seemed to stop when she was with this family, especially when she was in Inaki's arms. It was hard to think she had to go home today and it brought her down a little until she forcefully told herself she had hours. If she was lucky, she could leave by mid or late afternoon. It would be nice to stay over again since she had extra time, but not only would she feel an inconvenience, but she had work early tomorrow.

Her life called soon, so she mentally ordered herself to enjoy this while she could. Soon she would get swamped with final classes, graduation concerns, job schedules, and low time with Inaki. These holidays would be all she would have for time, so best to take advantage now and worry later.

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100 correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations:** Tadashii...demo-You're right...but Bonenkai-"Forget-the-year Parties" held throughout December Shinnenkai or "New Year Parties" are held in January

Obiita-Worn underneath obi and prevents from getting wrinkled Obimakura-Gives the obi volume Kirei-Pretty Obiage-Obi sash Tsuini owatta-Finally (we're) finished

Obijime-Tie over obi to help hold it Mou daijoubu-It's okay now/Really it's okay Daikon-Japanese white radish Sake-Type of alcohol fermented with rice

Dozo-Please (accept) Irreshaimase minna-san-Welcome everyone Kanpai-Cheers Houmongi-For both married and unmarried women, It's formal, but it could be semi-casual

Karuta-Game played on New Years with cards Iroha karuta-Card game of matching/finishing certain sayings or poems Ohayo-(Good) morning Totemo ureshii da-I'm very happy/I'm so happy


	74. Ch 74

A fist slammed down in frustration. Hands gripped the edge of desk and shoved backward, barely managing to move since the chair wasn't on wheels. It only aggravated her more and teeth grit against wanting to do something violent.

Schoolwork couldn't be done in this attitude and she wasn't helping herself by not calming down. The unrest that crept up all month and half of last wasn't going away and little by little it was starting to strain her. Seven classes weren't helping, even if these were detrimental to the graduation. These were all she needed and a lot was riding on them. Cramming them in one semester was probably not a good idea because the last time she had seven together it swamped her. But she was not going to wait until fall when some of them were offered again.

There was so much riding on this final section and that was another straw on her back. She had a few tests already, but trying to study for the next in three days wasn't going well.

She stood and started pacing, mind buzzing to try and solve this for now. She could be annoyed later; it was time to do some work.

Hands gripped behind her back, eyes directed to carpet underneath. She barely registered the feel against her feet, even if she watched toes flatten strands.

This feeling was a bane to her existence. She never had this problem with other semesters in her junior year. Course, this final year was going to be small since it just started. She was probably one of the few who went shorter than the normal four years by stacking classes between jobs since the beginning. All that was worth it to save a few thousand dollars in tuition of possible rising costs - just like college did almost every semester.

She stopped and twirled for the door. If she couldn't get anything done, she was going to be productive. Since she couldn't remember the last time she ate, other than breakfast before work, this was opportunity to rectify that.

Hopping the stairs, she passed the narrow archway of the second living room and rolled her eyes at Sam watching a movie. The girl wasn't finished either and as since SHE signed up for so much, it put them on equal year level. Sam had art projects to get done and Biology to read, but yet the girl was goofing off.

Was she the only persistent worker in this house??

Black swished as she tried to keep too much pessimism out of her head. Who cared what Sam was doing? For all she knew, being practically locked away since finishing work, the girl just sat down five minutes ago. 'Don't be too harsh in judging your friend baka.' She scolded.

She pulled the fridge open and stared. Cooking anything would bring the bottomless pit strolling in, so best to make something for two of them. She pulled out a small chunk of beef, potatoes, carrots, onions, pre-made dashi left over from other meals, some soy sauce, mirin, itokonyaku, and peas. Lately, her taste turned to Japanese cooking - Kagome's influence - but it made her feel pleasantly nostalgic and happy to learn new recipes from her old life. Dumping everything on the counter for a minute, she snatched cooking oil and some sugar and got to work on niku jaga.

She made quick work peeling potato skins and set those aside to cook later. She didn't like wasting food and with Kagome's knowledge hers, it made using everything easier and more fun. She quickly sliced those into chunks and filled a bowl with water to set them in.

She didn't bother doing the same with carrots since they'd get cooked anyway. It made easy work cutting those up as well and shoving aside in a bowl to keep clean.

The itokonyaku was cut into mildly thin strings and a pan put on low boil. She left both alone, keeping an ear out for when the water started boiling to throw the noodles in.

The onion was quickly sliced and diced and shoved in a bowl with the carrots for later frying.

She chopped up the beef and left it on the cutting board to get another pan out and poured a liberal amount of oil in. She took that time to check the first, finding the water hot enough to throw the noodles in and turned the burner down a little.

The meat didn't take long, but it never did. She tossed carrots and onions in, taking a quick second to drain the potatoes and add. She gave everything a quick stir and shut the other burner off, straining noodles and adding those with quick efficiency. The last burner turned down a little to settle in with flavor after dashi was dribbled in.

"I smell something good."

She smiled, eyes still on her task. "I'm almost done here. Set the table for me will you?"

"Can do boss."

The clattering of plates sounded behind her. She nearly laughed at Sam openly smelling the air for the scent - it DID smell pretty good she had to admit. Soy sauce was carefully added, along with some mirin and sake. She turned the burner off, as everything was lowly boiling and hot enough, to let the flavors blend for a while. She turned to the sink and ran water in pans to be washed later.

Peas were added and after another minute or two, she snatched potholders off the wall and lifted the pan to its awaiting spot in the center of the table. She returned to make sure the stove was off and a ladle.

"So what's this one called? Smells good."

"Niku jaga." She reported, pulling her chair out.

"Japanese food again? You've made it every day this month."

She paused, leveling light blue with mild irritation. "Is that a problem?"

Hands quickly went into the air to placate. "No! I'm just making an observation."

She finished sitting down and started dishing up some lunch. "So I'm cooking different ethnic foods. I would think you'd like the extra experimenting. I haven't heard you complain before. Damn, we need rice with this..."

Sam's hand shot out and grabbed wrist before she could get up. "This'll do for now. You can make that with dinner. I don't want that much starch anyway...goes to my hips."

She leveled the chubby girl with a dry look, trying not to smile at the dopy grin. "Rice is good for you." She defended, blowing on her soup.

"For those who can get rid of starch. I read about that stuff in Biology; you can't fool me."

There was little other comment except when Sam didn't wait long enough for the heat to disappear and ended up burning her tongue. The noise for the next few minutes was quite grating to her nerves, but she quickly got up and got the girl some cold water to take the edge off.

She finished off two servings and declared herself full. Sam was finishing a second larger one, but it seemed enough. She grabbed Tupperware and stuck the remains inside to be finished later and started in on getting dishes loaded to be done.

Halfway through that, Sam's chair scraped across linoleum. The extra bowl was set in the sink to be processed as well. Sam gave her friend a quick, unreadable look, not noticed at the distraction under hot water. Taking that quick second to push chair back in, Sam silently grabbed the cordless and headed for the front door without a word.

Four rings passed before anyone picked up and Sam allowed herself to relax. She smiled at a mildly familiar voice and asked for her 'prey', looking at the street while on hold.

When he came on, Sam mentally hoped this plan wouldn't go awry. "Hello?"

"Hola hombre."

"Sam - hey. Is anything wrong?"

Said girl grinned. "Aren't you sweet? I'm fine thanks."

Dry brown looked at the wall. "I was talking about K. Anything going on?"

"She would be the reason I'm calling. And before you get freaked out by that, she's perfectly healthy." A hand rose and twirled ash idly, lips pursed. "I had a question to ask you...when was the last time you guys talked or saw each other?"

"She's got classes - I can't be bothering her. I know that so I let her call and let me know when she's got free time to talk or hang out. Other than that, I know I didn't talk to her this week...maybe the beginning of February? I'm not sure really. I think I talked to her once after classes started, but it seems a while ago."

"It must've been if you can't remember well."

"What's up? Did she have you dial or something?"

"No, actually she's in doing dishes and doesn't know I'm on the phone. I just wanted to know when you talked to her because she's been really keyed up lately. Seems to have a short fuse at something and I think it could be classes, but I don't want to bet on it. It almost looks like she's caged or something. I didn't know if you had any clue."

"Maybe it's as you said. This is her last semester isn't it? If I had that kind of threat looming over me, I'd be freaking out."

"She hasn't done that in the four years she's been going here." Teeth chewed on a nail for a second in contemplation. "Maybe she just needs a break. Seven is a lot to handle and she's only done it once, but that was in the summer where they were short. What're you doing right now? Can you come kidnap her for a few hours? We just ate, so she's good. It just seems tense around here."

He snorted. "You must think I have that kind of free time to drive forty miles to pick her up."

A wolfish grin sprouted. "Don't you?"

He sighed. "Sadly enough, I do. And I've been thinking about her and what she's been doing, so I suppose it wouldn't hurt. But if she's got stuff to study for, I don't want to disturb her. I don't want my ass chewed out if she's in a bad mood."

The grin spread farther. "I'm sure you know of ways to calm her down."

He sputtered, face barely heating. "You're so tactless! Gods, I bet it was fun for your mother when you were introduced to boys."

"Yea, yea...just get over here and make it snappy. You know she's not going to turn you away once you're already here, so I won't tell her you're coming. Take her anywhere but this place - take her back with you if that's what it takes. She really DOES need to unwind."

His brow furrowed as the Hispanic's tone turned serious. "I'll get ready and leave within five and try to hurry. Is it really that bad? I thought she dealt with stress pretty well."

"Well whatever it is, it's been going on for a while. If you need clarification, just get a look of how she acts and know the anxiety I've had to endure."

He snorted, moving to the doorway. "You poor thing you. I'll be there soon and save you from so much 'aggravation'."

Sam grinned and hopped off the porch railing. "Later."

"Ja."

He clicked the phone off and snatched coat, shoes, and keys. With a quick shout to anyone in the place that he'd be back, he headed out and braced himself against the wind. It was horrible today and had been since last night, which didn't make the coldness of spring any easier to stand. But the good thing was it was going in his direction - it would be harder getting back, but easier going and that was his concern.

Was K really like Sam said? He couldn't fathom her acting so pressurized, but the last time they hung out was New Year's. He called once in January to see how the semester started and that was it. After learning of the load she took on, he mentally vowed to lay off normal call volume. As hard as it was to keep that promise, he worked more at the store to make up for it.

The heater blasted and vents directed his way. Curse him for not bringing gloves! His fingers were going frigid and the car wasn't heating up quick enough. He hurried to the interstate to help warm the engine from higher speeds and took note of the lack of traffic. He was pleased by that - he could hurry and not fret about accidents.

It was early afternoon, so the sun helped warm interior up by the time he got into Miami. He was loathe to get out of such a roasty-toasty car, but hopefully Sam's like for cool weather wouldn't make her open the windows. It was low fifties, but the wind made it lower.

He sucked in the weak attitude, pulled coat tight around him, and exited. The breath was momentarily snatched away and left him leaning against the car, taken aback before he hurried to the porch. A quick knock and hands stuck in his pockets.

-----

"I'm not getting that!" Sam hollered from her room.

"Why not?! I'm studying here!" She yelled back. "Or trying to..." She groused, glaring at boring black and white words on the page.

"I'm working on my homework too." Sam countered, face twisted to the open door for better hearing. She grinned, knowing who that was. Let K be surprised and jog irritation for a second. The poor thing needed her man to lean against for a bit.

Fist clenched mechanical pencil and started bending plastic a degree before she quickly exhaled and shoved chair back. "Fine...be a lazy ass and make me do everything." She lowly grumbled, trying not to stalk from her room. She briefly paused at the doorway, ignoring the second round of knocking. "If that's a solicitor or something I'm going to hurt you."

"Yea right."

An evil grin tipped her lips. "Who said it'd be physical?"

Light blue swung to the doorway again, a brow rising in confusion and unease at the tip of pitch leaving her field of view when the girl walked downstairs. "Man Inaki, you'd better work your magic. I don't care WHAT rating you do it in."

She tried not to yank the door open when knocking sounded again. Her face schooled in lack of expression to keep from showing any emotion, but that slackened at the vision feet away.

"Yo. I heard you were having trouble and decided to rescue you for a while."

Bless that annoying little scheming heart of her best friend!

Brown misted as a beaming smile graced her face. Arms shot out and pulled her tight against chest, cheek getting situated to hear some of his heartbeat. "Hisashiburi..." She breathed, feeling everything almost instantly melt away.

He gave it a second and embraced her back, even if he stood out in the cold with only the screen door to shield him from some of the wind. She didn't seem to mind freezing so he wouldn't say anything. He did what was possible with his somewhat larger frame to keep her warm, even if heat was escaping from inside. "Aa."

She didn't want to move away, but her skin was getting bumps and it was taking glee away of seeing him again in almost two months. It took a few mental orderings before she stepped away and let him in. "What brings you here? This's quite sudden."

He lined shoes against wall next to hers, noticing they were the same way his family normally did. A brow rose for a second before he turned to her and found her inches away. Brown met brown for a second before arms were around him again, almost forcing him against the wall as she used him for physical support.

He tried to get comfortable without jarring them too much. Quiet music from upstairs - Sam's room he bet - floated down as the only noise. Her breathing barely made a dent in the volume. He let her stay like this, even if sitting down was a better option. He didn't even get time to take his coat off, or unzip it for that matter.

Teeth bit the inside of her lip. Responsibilities and laziness were warring in her mind, mixing emotions and making thoughts fight themselves. She let them flow around, not sticking with one thing, unlike earlier today. None of them were important while she was safely tucked in Inaki's embrace. He had the power, whether he knew it or not, to calm the rage of her mind and everything working to be heard.

But logic soon floated to the forefront, creating an interesting epiphany. "Sam called you didn't she?"

"You're quite perceptive, you know that?" He ignored the indignant protest and gave a squeeze to offset her. "I was ordered to remove you from the premises immediately. So get your coat and whatnot to keep warm - you're coming with me."

She pulled back, but he seemed prepared and wouldn't let her do more than bend her spine to look at him. Mild stubbornness met brown. "You know I can't do that! I've got a test to study for middle of this week and another one on Friday! I can't go gallivanting around, even though I'd like to."

"Well if you'd like to, there's nothing stopping you." His grip loosened in degrees to keep her from falling, but letting her know he was releasing her. "You'll be back before tomorrow...other than that I can't promise when."

She fought a smile at his grin and glared a little. "Look...You know I can't - I mean I can't just - I've got books to work on and pages to review! I've got bunches of notes I haven't even taken and half a chapter to finish for that test! This will have to wait."

A brow rose. He made for the stairs and sat at the bottom half, resting head in hands and idly watching her follow. "So, you're going to make me go home so you can study? I know you can't do much when you have other people crowding you."

Brown looked to the extra living room. "You don't crowd me." She muttered, bangs shadowing eyes. "I don't know where you got that overblown notion... And no...I won't make you drive all the way back when you came here to see me; whether Sam told you or not." She gave him a minute smile and affection in her eyes. "I - I appreciate the thought and the offer though."

Sam couldn't have been more right if she told him the sun set and rose every day without fail. The stress in his girlfriend's face was more than apparent, mostly in those once lively and beautiful eyes of hers and the slouched shoulders. She seemed tired, worn, maybe even stretched too thin.

It was no wonder, with all she had going on right now!

He felt a little guilty for interrupting her time, but there was righteousness in his cause. He didn't like seeing K like this, so it was high time to do something about it. Even if she had to go AWOL for a while, she needed this more than she thought.

A hand extended for her to take, legs widening a little on the steps. "Come here. And I'm not taking no for an answer."

She blinked, face heating a little, before sitting holed up in those lanky limbs of his, arms going around her and tucking her against him. Everything started evaporating again as easily as it did the first time and she slouched again to enjoy it.

His lips rested near her ear. "I'm not taking no for an answer. I'd love for you to see yourself at how you look and talk and act. You need either a good, long massage or a quick roll somewhere private." A hand moved as she sputtered, trying to twist to glare at him. He ignored her and pinched a shoulder muscle. "You're all tight right here. I bet all your back muscles are."

She cringed, even if pressure was light. His fingers moved to brush over skin as if to undue the problem he caused. She sighed after a minute, realizing she was just being stubborn to be stubborn. "You're right...I do need to relax." A hand rose and rubbed her face. "I haven't had a day off of studying since classes started. So many damn chapters to read... I don't even know why I didn't check to see if some classes had summer offerings. I mean, I knew this was going to be hard, but during the summer when I took these, I knew they wouldn't go on this long."

The weariness in her voice worried him. She sounded old and was going to make herself that way if he didn't do something to cheer her up. He hugged her again before letting go. "Get your coat and something warm - you're coming with me."

She wanted to protest, everything in piles on her desk flashed in her mind...but he was right. Part of her was screaming the hell with it all for now and to enjoy this brief happiness. Who knew when she'd get to see him again? She was caught up in a few classes and only somewhat behind in others. She could leave for a few hours and come back in time to make dinner and then hole up on her chair until bedtime.

Provided she could convince Inaki to go along with that plan...

She almost fell asleep on the ride up. The lull of the road and comfortable silence started drooping her lids and her head propped up just in case she did doze off. They reached the city limits all too soon and the slower speeds woke her up. Hand rubbed eyes as he took a few turns to the house and pulled into the lot.

A smile appeared as she stared for a second before getting out. She missed this house and everyone in it. She couldn't wait to see how they were all doing and what happened to them in the brief time she was gone.

She came to think of the Yamois as half family and cherished them all. They were more precious than Sam's family even, though the Merths were very dear as well, and she liked to consider them hers at times.

She lined shoes against the wall without thought, more concerned with eyeing the area and incorporating it again. She would never tire of this place - it was too well designed and homey to take for granted. Plus she never visited here enough for that!

Hand grabbed hand to get her attention. "If you'll follow me..."

She smirked and fell in step as they made for the stairs. "I don't have a choice, do I?"

He snorted and eyed his grandparents' bedroom, finding them both napping together. A smile lit his face as he passed and entered his room. Jayden, wherever she was around here, wasn't and he was glad. He pulled K in front and pushed shoulders down to get her to sit.

He stood above with a grin and cracked knuckles, flexing muscles to get them warmed up. "This is what you're going to do and I don't want any arguments or backtalk. You're going to lie on your stomach on my bed and put your arms in a comfortable position and no moving. I don't want to hear any words from you until I say it's time to talk. Hai?"

A brow rose at his commands, but his eyes gave no room for leeway, so she shrugged and did what he said.

Happy she was the way he wanted, he rolled up the sleeves on his sweater and made to shut the door for some privacy. "Good girl. I thought I was going to have to wrestle you to the bed for a second."

She snorted. "You'd like that wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would!" He granularly replied, straddling her back. "Now, no fidgeting and no kicking." Hands moved down before she could ask and started at the top of her back in a series of massage moves.

A groan worked its way out on its own as he pressed, kneaded, rubbed, and pounded over back, neck, and waist. She felt like jelly and the feel of his hands - hell, if she knew he was THIS experienced, she would've done this sooner! - was either going to put her to sleep or totally euphoric on a different level! She felt like sinking into the bed or purring as he made thoughts fly from her head and tension leave her body. Bless the boy; she'd have sex with him in a second to repay him if she had the will to move.

He grinned at the noises leaving her from time to time. He was tempted to take advantage of this situation in an utterly naughty way, but now was not appropriate. He was just getting to some working order with her back and wasn't done. She was so worked up everywhere, he had a mental image of getting a meat mallet to beat on her and see if that'd help faster. He tried not to laugh, but a quiet chuckle clenched his stomach until he forced it away.

It seemed a lot of time passed and she knew she dozed as he worked. She only knew that because it was a strain to pull eyes open and move limbs. The arms slack at her sides clenched to move, but the energy wasn't there. He took that with the anxiety and any desire to move around. His bed was comfy enough and she was in no position to hurt her neck, though she might have a crick later.

By the time eyes managed to pull themselves open, she stared with a non-working mind at Inaki sitting on Jayden's bed, a steaming cup in his hands. She focused on the mist rising for a while, finally blinking to water her eyes. After a lot of mental ordering and pathetic tries, arms finally moved and helped push her to sitting position.

"You look relaxed."

She ignored the smugness in his tone and rolled her neck to get that known crick gone. Still a little sleepy, she stared at tatami for a bit, listening to him sip whatever tea he was having. "How long have I been asleep?"

He continued to watch her, feeling immensely proud of himself and happy she got some rest. "About half an hour I think. I wasn't keeping track. Your tea is cooling on the desk. Don't worry, it's still hot; I just got these a few minutes ago."

Did he know she was going to wake soon? Shaking her head a little and slapping cheeks, she stood and cradled the cup with both hands. She faced him, folding legs daintily underneath each other, staring down and smelling green tea.

He took in the whole thing; all movement and act. Did she know what she was doing? Was she even aware she was doing everything perfectly Japanese-like? The way her legs folded, the double position of her hands - the honorable way to hold a teacup. The impulse to say something shunted when he raised porcelain and carefully sipped to keep from burning his tongue.

She stared at his room, an emotion burning inside and increasing as seconds passed and the tea absently cooled in her palms. She barely felt the heat, feeling the reason for all these emotions coming to a head for one main reason. If only she could figure out what it was! It was so close and there seemed to be a clue right here in this room, maybe this house, and she had to find it. She WOULD find it. If an answer could be seen after so many days of inner turmoil, something that came on its own regard and wouldn't leave...putting her in such restraint to hide it from school and Sam, she would do what was necessary. If it required meditating on the thought or changing the scenery, she would do it without a second thought.

Questions burned in his mind at intense concentration on her face. He wondered what she was thinking, what she was feeling. He didn't know if he wanted to ask and break whatever trance she was in, but seeing this was key to find out what was wrong with her. He wanted to do anything in his power to help her get better and be the person she was before this issue. They had enough problems in the past and everything should be smooth now. They were no longer any reincarnation; that was truly in the past.

Knowing that aspect, it confused him more upon pondering over what was the problem. He couldn't think of anything other than what was common knowledge and first suspects. She had an easily laid out schedule of school and work. If it wasn't that, it could be that they weren't able to spend as much time together and she missed him more than she thought. It might be, but both silently agreed to give the other space from time to time, her more than him.

She sipped tea, careful not to burn her mouth. This action was so familiar in this life and the last. She stared at hands as if seeing them for the first time, as if never seeing tea and porcelain.

The cup was a tube-like shape, almost half an inch wide to survive its time in the kiln, and simply painted. What wasn't covered by liquid inside was a mere covering to keep anything seeping into clay. Outside was earthy brown with blue and green streaks crossing each other. It was beautiful in a simplistic way, but she still liked it. She had none like this at home and anytime she had tea it was with coffee mugs or large glasses that held a lot of water. But the point wasn't amount, it was enjoyment gotten from what was there.

The urge to move suddenly came and she followed it like a child and stood. She ignored Inaki for a second and headed for the door. She moved it from its cracked position and left, wondering where she was going and taking in the area as if desperately looking for something.

"O - oi!" He stuttered, blinking. She moved like a ghost and he was taken aback. Not a word about any of her actions and it concerned him. He jumped up, trying not to make a mess and have his sister smack him good or burn his hands in the process. "Where are you going? What's with the silence? Answer me!"

She was vaguely aware of footsteps pounding over carpet as she landed on the middle floor. She seemed to be looking through someone else's eyes almost; it was strange to describe. Feet took her to the edge of the sitting room, mindful not to lean against the railing. She stared at the knickknack shelves full of items from the past of this country and Japan. Her eyes bore holes past glass and landed on each item from the other country, easily identifying them.

There was nothing really special about this small, open section of house. These ledges were an eyesore with their dark paintjob against lighter walls, but the remaining furniture was western style. She felt disappointed for some odd reason and turned for the kitchen.

He stopped at the bottom of the steps, avidly watching her for any change in this bizarre behavior. He wondered what brought it on and what he could do to keep anyone from noticing it. He hoped no one suddenly came in sight and asked questions or jogged her from this. As odd as it was, there had to be a reason and if he stayed near long enough, he could find it. Also, if this was some small flashback to Kagome's psyche, things could get dangerous if someone inquired. The whole issue was a secret they told no one and never would.

She practically tiptoed to tatami. Dull brown stared at the eating table and zabuton, the emotion rising. She kneeled without thought, eyes still trained on wood, and quietly set her cup on it. Legs tucked underneath - mostly as a modesty issue with women, even though she was wearing pants, and stared at the cup lightly cradled between palms again.

She tried to pierce the emotion with a name and end this havoc. It was cutting into her time with Inaki and though she knew he followed, she forced him out to deal with this. Anxiety rose since she started wandering and although it was part of what she felt right now, that wasn't all of it.

She seemed a little calmer and somewhat more focused sitting here. It was hard to pinpoint and that alone was driving her crazy. It was an unknown answer on the tip of her tongue. Aggravation started building, making teeth clench, until she purposely looked away to calm down. This was not her home and she was still a guest here, no matter how many times she visited.

Brown widened a little as they locked on the traditional room past the kitchen. She stared at the sliver of visible space before standing and ambling for it. There was a queasy feeling in her stomach, adrenaline in her system, as if going inside would be a bad thing or...something.

She stared, eventually looking to the separation of red tile and tatami at the archway. Teeth bit lip in indecision before she took a breath and crossed over.

There was very little inside, as there always was. The amount of space and how it was filled was traditional Zen. This wasn't merely a room; it was an ideal of Buddhism. Though she was never Buddhist, not even Kagome was, it hit her hard. Legs buckled and she heavily fell to the ground, wincing at the blow to her knees. She stared at a corner, ignoring Inaki's voice.

For many weeks, something was eating at her inside. It was an unknown creature nibbling at the plethora of emotions she possessed, tearing away some of the good and leaving bad in their place. This problem manifested itself and refused to simply be enlightened upon in any sense. For that reason alone, it was hard to find and use patience or congeniality to get by.

She was a problem solver and prolonged mysteries didn't sit well with her. Knowing that this seemed important in a way didn't escape her. It was hard to trace to when it became pronounced, though she definitely tried. Many an hour in class was lost as she wandered into her head.

It seemed to start around New Year she surmised - other than that she couldn't remember clearly. There were times she went through the days from moment of wakening to falling asleep again. There had to be a clue she wasn't seeing, but every time she reviewed past events, she came up empty-handed.

The one thing that did unsettle her a little when assessing the days was the way she acted. A person is really unaware of the things they do unless told by another person, or given heavy thought. If anyone noticed change in her behavior, they didn't say anything.

_"So what's this one called? Smells good."_

_"Niku jaga."_

_"Japanese food again? You've made it every day this month."_

_"Is that a problem?"_

_"No! I'm just making an observation."_

Sam was an exception, but other than making that small comment, her friend didn't point out many Japanese practices.

She looked back to the many actions she did. Today was especially heavy, but then she had a tendency to act as Inaki's family did when in their house. Knowing the customs was another persuasion and she did things almost without thought. Unlike today, she never noticed the way she sat or held something and gave it serious attention.

Even in her own home, she had a tendency to put those things to use. Cooking was a big tip-off, though there were microscopic points as well. She always took off and neatly lined shoes against the wall, heels out so they could easily be slipped into again. Language was entering her vocabulary more and more; little phrases to whole sentences. She used it to Sam and occasionally mumbled around campus. Clothing changed a little, though she had always been a somewhat conservative dresser. Skirts adorned her at times, much to Sam's amazement.

Anxiety faded in tiny degrees as she continued to sit there. The design of this room gave a feeling of unpronounced life; an essence all its own. She felt comfortable in here and as though time slipped. Inaki's house calmed her down than her own and that was another pathetic thought.

She turned that over in her head, wondering and asking herself why. Other than she liked being with Inaki and his family, the house really had nothing to do with much. Sure it was a nice, extensive place due to the load of people and amount of acquired wealth, but she wasn't around enough to put a sentimental value to it.

It wasn't coming as fast as it should have, though she felt as if all pieces were gathered and reviewed. She had a notion of not forgetting anything, but not seeing. There was nothing more annoying than studying something and not understanding anything.

'Think!' She ordered, nails digging into palms. 'What is it that you're trying to figure out?! It has to do with this house because of the way it changes your emotions. Run through everything again...dissect it further.'

She took a quiet, deep breath for tolerance and started with the house. She recounted Japanese mannerisms done in her home, since she went over that the first time. She finished every possible aspect and skipped to finding those same things on campus. She tried to think of behavior in every class and every travel to and from. The only thing seen beside different ethnicities was a small withdrawal. It was hard to pinpoint, but she stayed on that for a second to work it in her head.

More questions wandered past the darkness of her eyes. 'Why would I have any reason to do that?? I'm in my hometown, in the same college, living in the same home since I left mom's, and know some of the same people. It just seems absurd, but it's still there - why??'

Brown stared at the wall as if it had answers. Her head remained muddled, but confusion replaced irritation and for that she was mildly glad. She was tired of anger and feeling it only brought more on from such helplessness. It was a nasty circle she finally broke, though the problems hadn't.

'It's not like it's that big a deal if I act Japanese in my life anyway. I act on some Spanish customs at the Merth household and no one says anything to me. It's the same way here - I do so and no one cares. They accept me even if I act either way. Maybe it's not a problem like I'm making it out to be.'

Teeth bit lip, not as sure as her words tried to sound. The fact that she could be who she was around those she cherished didn't convince her in the slightest. Acceptance was nice, but she did go through different worlds with each family she visited. She studied quite a few cultures besides her own...the years in high school with French; firsthand experience in Sam's heritage; and now Inaki's. Even if she learned a lot from her boyfriend, nothing could replace what she learned of Japanese life by actually taking that trip.

A smile tipped her lips as fondness speared her. Longing followed as she mentally recounted some of the districts in Tokyo. There were trials, but after issues were dealt with she did have a lot of fun. She was happy to've gone and would always have a love for the place.

The emotions that came with thinking of Tokyo pierced her with such heavy sorrow afterward as one thing made itself clear. Finally...after so much torment, she had at least an inkling of an answer. But it wasn't one she wanted to know, let alone recognize and realize.

Brown squeezed shut, hands clenching. Tears lined her lashes and teeth grit in frustration.

No! This wasn't fair! She was supposed to be herself and not influenced by Kagome. Japanese customs were not supposed to do this to her! Bangs shadowed eyes, body shaking as it tensed. She sniffled in sudden misery, feeling as if everything were tearing apart.

She couldn't stop looking like Kagome - that would require serious cosmetic surgery. Behavior probably shadowed the ghost a little outside of generic traditions, but she was forgetting their time together the longer it progressed. The dreams never left, but they were getting harder to remember when she woke. Even if that helped distance her from everything, one thing was becoming ingrained.

"K? What's going on? Talk to me."

Hands covered face as he kneeled by her. "K - ka...eraitai." She breathed, feeling enraged and sad at the same time. She sniffled again and aggressively swiped a sleeve across nose.

This wasn't supposed to happen! She was supposed to get on with her life, not wish to backtrack!

He blinked, body stilling. He wanted to ask her again to make sure he heard right, but she was too volatile for much.

"Naze? Why now? For what purpose?? It was supposed to be over - it was supposed to be okay!" She resisted the urge to pound fists against tatami, lest she break it. Everything faded as realization took root and made a few past instances clearer. She turned inward, feeling the spark of her powers, and cursed them as the only representation of her reincarnate. "I gave you that - I searched for you! Why are you making me feel this way?? Mou yamero!"

Even though vague, he'd been around so much to know who the subject here was. He cradled here and she didn't resist. Her face buried in his chest, arms around waist. He listened to her comments of unfairness and wishes to be left as is with a furrowed brow. She wouldn't give good answers until calmed, so he was forced to be silent.

Why? Why did she feel this way? Why must it parade through her life and bring these feelings? When would she find peace? Of course, there was one simple way to go about it, but that was something which would shatter everything grounded and concrete in her life.

She didn't know if it was possible to go through with it. It would make her feel complete inside, but would she ever be happy again? It was too risky and daring, let alone a good thing. There was no guarantee it'd work, but she would never feel sense of belonging again otherwise.

Hands fisted shirt in misery, slumping against him. It would bring a little happiness, but she would have to give up everything else making her content for it. The outside would be tossed away in order to fulfill the inside.

His hand slowly moved and gently gripped chin, bringing her face to view. His heart clenched at near agony in her eyes. There didn't seem to be anything to take that, but his lips moved forward and lightly touched hers anyway.

Her eyes shuttered closed, tears slipping past and dripping down. He was so sweet for being concerned and trying to soothe her and she loved him even more for that...but it broke her heart more to think that way.

She had options - this wasn't a sure thing. Even as worthless as it was to think of a way out, she clung to them. She could continue to act on her reincarnation's customs and try to be swayed by that. She could ignore everything that took place, apologize for her actions, and fight this with every ounce of strength she had. She could work at trying to reincorporate herself. That wasn't a hard thing, but changing her mindset was.

'Why did I make that wish? Why did I think that way back at the graveyard that day? If I knew how it was going to affect me...seep into my unconsciousness...I would've thought more before being so stupid.' Her brow furrowed in more confusion as she looked away and looked over Inaki's shoulder. 'How did it become such a powerful message? I only thought about it a few times after I got back.'

Brown widened, then slowly closed.

_She almost felt giddy. The alcohol had very little effect except burning her throat as it went down, since she had dinner not that long ago. The atmosphere was as intoxicating as the sake and for a split second she looked past who she was and the largest trial of her life to gain an epiphany never seen before._

_She felt like she fit in, not on a polite basis so people wouldn't make her uncomfortable; not because she was now of their ethnicity in a way; and not really because she knew every habit. She was who she was no matter what soul she had and everyone in eyesight accepted her as friend and friend of the family. The Yamois never judged her or patronized her because of her beginning ignorance - they were always nice. The neighbors she encountered in the few parties like this seemed interested in her and her life, though they asked few questions to keep from being impolite._

_It wasn't the clothes she wore, or the way her hair was done, the food she ate, or the mannerisms she tried to exhibit to fit in. Nothing alone was reason for this; it was everything at once and none of it._

That night was a small nudge in her unconscious. It had percussions she didn't know about that came out in her actions. She felt received by Inaki's family...Inaki's Japanese family. She acted on that custom without thinking of what it would make her feel inside. She assumed it was no big deal to bring that into her life; it was fun to make those meals, wear traditional clothes, and such.

As fun as it was, there were consequences she was facing. She acted it so much - Kagome's help there, but still not - it was normal. It drove her to do things she didn't think twice about.

And now it made her want to go back to Tokyo.

Permanently.

Slowly, she pulled away from Inaki and inched backward, bangs shadowing eyes. A scowl adorned her mouth, brow heavily furrowed. She didn't know if it was possible to look at him without breaking further and making talking impossible.

There was only so much or so long she could fight this urge. She had since that revelation at New Year's and the result was obvious. She could continue to stay here and try to get on with this life, but it would change her for worse instead of better. She wouldn't be the same and she would never feel like she belonged again.

"K? What it is? Please talk to me."

A tiny nod appeared. Tears clumped lashes, but she tried to hold them back. It was hard to acknowledge the feeling of needing to belong and torn at keeping a life you could easily leave for your own peace of mind. Did everything and everyone mean so little to her? She couldn't say what was on her mind - she was almost too ashamed to. Inaki should be told...since she would probably have to break up with him now.

She could see how long she lasted, really she could. These thoughts might just float into the back of her head and be disregarded after a while. A large part of her wanted to deny everything and remain here. She had an established life, why should she go gallivanting across the world for some stupid desire?! There were lots of things she used to deny herself before she met Inaki and she could do it again. Not to mention Tokyo wasn't the same as it was when Kagome lived. Things changed in a hundred years - she saw for herself.

But that would make it perfect to carve out her own little niche in that place. She would have memories from Kagome's time, but they would only help until she managed to make new ones to surpass those. Her knowledge of customs and language could land her a job in practically any field that needed English speakers.

Did she really want to risk being twice as agitated by wanting to be in a distant land with people she would be more comfortable in? Even if the populace changed a little, she was only there a week and the visit to Kagome's distant family were some of the few bad apples. The ones she encountered in her search displayed more Japanese behavior and there was a good chance if she walked outside a few times, she'd see more.

This wasn't going to go away, she could tell that right now. The pros and cons were going to eat her until she was a wreck. Again.

A sigh rushed from her lungs. The weight of her body seemed too much and she slumped forward, resting chest over thighs and thudding her forehead against tatami lightly.

He startled and rose to his knees. "K! Knock that off, you'll hurt yourself!" Hands swooped down and grasped under her arms to pull up. She didn't fight him, but didn't lend any help and he almost fell over. He gripped shoulders lightly, shaking her in need to understand. "Shikkari shite yo! What is WRONG with you?! You're not acting like yourself and you're scaring me! I demand you tell me what's tearing you up so much!"

She stared at his beautiful face for what seemed eternity. Hands drifted and cupped cheeks, feeling bittersweet. She was glad for every second they spent together, even bad times, and wouldn't take any of them back. He was her rock and never failed to make her feel so much. She had him to thank for gaining the rest of her emotions and bringing her from the shell she escaped to for so long.

"Aishite...you know that right?"

Foreboding hit him like a ton of bricks. "For you to say that now freaks me out. I love you too, but to hear that after the way you've been acting...I don't want those words. I want explanations."

Her face crumbled a little, but she nodded, not having the will to meet his eyes any longer. Arms slumped against thighs, too heavy to support anymore. "It took such a long time...so much thinking...but I eventually got it. I know now...what made me so worked up. My soul is not happy here. It had little outlets to calm me, but in the end...you can't let a bird roam free with clipped wings. You can't cage a wild animal in a place it's not supposed to be in."

Her words were supposed to help and they weren't. They were only fueling nervousness and unknown pain stabbing him. Adrenaline coursed as he watched her, taking in slouched posture and almost defeated tone. "T - toiunoha..."

Teeth bit her lip. "Kaeritai. Itsumademo."

He sat frozen, breath unable to be gathered...heart still beating in his amazement. He stared at the top of her head, barely aware of anything outside of one word. 'Itsumademo...itsumademo...'

It seemed forever until he could find strength to speak and mental function to work his mouth and summon words. It took a while to get the blaring announcement from his head that shattered his world and everything good in it. "W - wh - WHY?" He whispered, tears lining eyes. He quickly blinked them back, annoyed at himself for being so emotional. But this was not one of those times to act like a man - this was serious.

She almost lost it. Hands clenched as she dug deep to find strength long enough to get this out. He deserved that much from a retch like her. "This may very well be Kagome's last gift...the last traces of her essence crashing against mine."

"Bullshit!" A fist crashed on the floor before he leaned forward and grasped limbs, shaking her with watery eyes. "I don't believe that! Kagome has no more hold on you anymore - she hasn't for a while! You're you and I don't see anything but you. How can you give me that lame excuse?! Don't I deserve more than that??"

Tears escaped as she met his gaze. She used the pain he inflicted to keep from begging for forgiveness. She kept silent about that, not wanting him to feel guilty for hurting her. She could take this and should bear some pain in a way - he was definitely taking worse. "You deserve more than a horrible person like myself can give you..." She whispered, feeling shame build.

He shook her again, hard enough to cause neck strain. "Don't EVER say that again." He hissed, glaring. "You think that way one more time and I'll never forgive you. You do more than you think and don't feel you don't. I'll be the judge of what I deserve and right now you're all I need!"

Her face crumpled. She fell against him, clutching him and burying face in his shirt once again. "Sumimasen! Forgive me for my horrible words! Onegai! I feel so much and it's hard to make sense of it all from what I just grasped." Relief flowed when his arms eventually went around her and a hand rubbed her back. "Whether or not Kagome's influence is in play here...there is still a wish to go. It's ridiculous I know, but I think it snuck up on me when I didn't know it. Being in Tokyo...taking on and practicing so many Japanese ways...making that wish at the graveyard...I didn't know it would affect me so much."

He yanked her backward and moved chin to see her face. "WHAT wish??" He nearly barked, feeling a little panic.

She wanted to shrink back. "I - I thought it would be nice to live in that city. It's such a nice place after all... It's not smart because it's as if I'm letting Kagome live on through me by being there, but I saw for myself how much it changed. Kagome has no connections to her life anymore."

"That doesn't make it okay!" He resisted the urge to shake her again. The few he did were too many and he was loosing himself in Inuyasha's irrational anger.

But it's not often when one hears of their true love wanting to pack up and leave everything behind due to some wish.

"Why now? What makes you want to go so bad? I just don't understand how that could be so powerful against the life you have now."

An empty smile tipped her lips. "You'd be amazed at what the heart feels." She pulled away and looked to the ground, sullen and bitter. "I can fight this as long as I can. It may very well go away for all I know. I realized when we spent time together at Christmas I was being silly, but New Years together brought it all back. Your ethnicity is just better and I know it from Kagome and feel more acceptance being around your family and neighbors. Kagome doesn't come to mind though, but I do feel like I fit in. I felt it for the first time at the party and it made me soar. It was like nothing I did could be wrong. It was total and I had the chance to not worry about anything I would say or do might hurt someone."

"You're not looking at those around you good enough then." He muttered, bangs shadowing eyes. "I spent time around your friends - they already love you for who you are. It's amazing and sad to hear you talk so little of them when they've given so much. Don't you even consider that? Sam loves you like a sister and her entire family practically adopted you. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

Fists clenched. "I know that! Sam has been nothing but friendly since the day I knocked on her door looking for a room and her brothers treat me like their sister. Missy and Carl are great people and almost better than my real family."

"But..."

She sighed. "But...I do feel a little cut off from them at times. I'm not Hispanic and never will be. I can only learn their language and ways. They try to make me feel comfortable, but it's clear I'm still looking in from the outside."

"So how is that any different from MY family? You're not Japanese either."

"I am! I have it from Kagome and -"

"Kagome is in the past! She's not you and visa versa. Are you forgetting what you told me in Tokyo? How you wanted to live your own life? Will you give up yourself to be a different person? You think Kagome did that with Kikyou?? You're fooling yourself!"

She glared. "Zettai wakaranai yo! You ARE Japanese - you already belong! Don't you remember how you were when you were at the Merth's?? You even told me you felt out of place! I'm that way now! I'm not myself because of the knowledge I have, but I'm not Japanese because I don't look it and can only claim Kagome as an ancestor. I'm not in any world you or Sam live in, but I don't even know what heritage Himmen is. My original soul - Kikyou - is Japanese, so in a way I am too. That's the only thing I can ever count on anymore. I could try to live in this place for the rest of my life, but that journey to Japan did more than just a mission to find answers - it showed me a person I could be where I never could here."

They were at a mild stalemate. He didn't know what to say to get across how much she had right here. She was torn enough and if he could show or tell her she might give up this stupid, overblown notion of living across the world. He didn't want to lose her and he'd do anything it took to keep her by his side.

Tension was thick, but he ignored it and grasped a hand, squeezing tightly. "I know you think this way now, but give it some more thought. Onegai... You may be making a mistake here. What happens if you get all the way over there and decide it wasn't worth going for? How would you live with that choice...how would you get back if you wanted to?"

"I -"

His free hand cupped cheek and drew her face to his. "Do this for me. I know it's a lot to ask when it feels right to you...but please think. I know you might've already thought about this a lot, but think some more. We're talking an earth-shattering change here. For the both of us." Bangs shadowed his eyes as they teared up. His throat closed for a second. "I - I don't...want you to go..." He rasped.

She almost lost it. Hands pressed against his as she tried to comfort him. "S - sumimasen..." Forehead touched fingers as she tried for composure. "I shouldn't have said anything - I should've kept this to myself so it wouldn't pain you so much. I hurt you with my words. Hountoni gomen nasai..."

"You gave me the explanation I asked for." He mumbled, leaning forehead against hair. He smelled Kagome's scent, but it didn't comfort him as it always used to. This newest problem may very well have been brought on by the girl in some way, though he didn't know how. "You did nothing wrong. But please grant me what I asked for. Give it a while. You still have to finish school after all... If - if then...after the remaining two months you feel this way...I won't press you anymore."

She looked to him, torn at the pain in his voice. He almost sounded as if he was giving up and it terrified her. But in her head, she knew that would happen if she left. "I would ask you...to come with me. I'd work for the both of us to provide if that's what it took. I'd try to help you adjust as much as I could, but I have no right. I won't take you from your own life, your family and friends, and everything you know..." A hand rose and brushed over shaggy bangs to see his eyes, stroking the tufts in front of his ears fondly. "I can't be that selfish to think of you in my own needs."

He wanted to scream or hit something...hitting something would be better. He wanted to lecture her on what was selfish and what she could or could not do. He grabbed chin again, squeezing a little harder than intended in need to make her see and understand. "You have been my world ever since I knew I fell in love with you...iya, even before that. You're all I see and though I love my family very much, I am a drain on their resources. If anyone can give up their life, it's me."

Her head made to shake, but he wouldn't let her. "Iya! You have more than I do! You're more grounded and stable here than I am! Why do you think you have so little? You have more than I ever will."

"You look at the silver lining. Just as you look at the bad things in your life, so do I. I have no college experience; I work in my family's business because it's the only option I ever knew; I have vague plans for the future; I haven't bothered to make much of a life for myself...do you call that more? I'm stuck in a rut I feel little options to get out of." A humorless snort left him as he let her go. "Maybe we are in the same boat in minutely different aspects. We see the good in each other's lives and don't know why we would want to give it up, but when it comes to our own...we see only bad."

She chewed on that for a while. He was right and she nodded in agreement. She digested his words before suspicion rose and with it, hope.

She dared look at him, eyes wide. "D - does that mean... Anata hountoni..."

He dully looked at the kitchen, staring at the far wall. "Wakaranai. I haven't given it thought. I still think you haven't either. That's why I say you should pick this apart more than anything you've ever done. I want you to be one hundred, no, two hundred percent sure this is what you want. I will support you if that's what you decide and I will do what I can to help you. My family has contacts due to our business and if necessary, we can get your name over there to help you get comfortable...if you end up leaving."

How could he be so willing when she knew it hurt him to say that?? She wanted to take back her words upon hearing his, but that was impossible. "Ee..." She felt bold resting a hand on his knee, too scared to do so despite the utter leeway as his girlfriend. "If...if I decide to go...I would be happy if you came. I won't say anymore because I don't want to sway your judgment. I feel bad for causing such a problem between us. I'm ashamed of the way I acted."

After a second, his hand covered hers, eyes still boring holes in paint. "This is not a problem. This is your heart's desire, isn't it? In some unknown part of your mind, you may have wanted to remain in Tokyo when we had to leave. It just came out after so much time away from the place you may've wanted to be in all along. There is no reason to be humiliated for that. Tatoe omae wa hountoni satte...omae o zettai ore wasuranai yo."

He deserved someone better than her. That sentence proved it. To say such a thing while feeling as he did...she felt such compulsion to give up everything and be by his side.

But as much as her emotions were leading now, they wouldn't be that way later. She couldn't ignore the facts swirling in her head and couldn't bypass the issue just like that.

"I'll think about it. I'll do that over-thinking I'm good at and tear the thought to pieces examining it. Yakusoku."

He nodded. "Un."

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100 correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Dashi-Stock/broth used in a lot of soups and meals for flavor Mirin-Type of sweet sake used in cooking Itokonyaku-Member of the Taro potato family and made in noodle strings

Niku jaga-Type of stew with some broth at bottom Ja-See you Hisashiburi-It's been a while/It's been a long time K - ka...eraitai-I - I...want to go back Mou yamero-Stop it already

T - toiunoha-That means/This means/You mean Itsumademo-Forever/For good Onegai-Please/I beg (of) you Zettai wakaranai yo-You definitely don't get it

Hountoni gomen nasai-I'm really/very sorry Anata hountoni-You really Wakaranai-I don't know

Tatoe omae wa hountoni satte...omae o zettai ore wasuranai yo-Even though/if you really/actually leave...I'll never forget you (Can also be flipped around if translation is off)

**Spanish language will be translated underneath when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.**

**Translations:** Hola hombre-Hello/Hey man


	75. Ch 75 8,27,2099

Hands slowly zipped up the backpack before slinging it over a shoulder. Fingers slipped under the straps, idly resting there and almost forgotten as brown took in the room. The bed lacked anything to make it homey, as did the nightstand. The desk lacked books and papers that resided there practically everyday for four years. Now, in more ways than one, there was no more need.

_"Miss Kalie Himmen. Major in general history and minor in anthropology."_

The dean's voice rang in her head. She could still feel the sturdiness of his hand as she shook it and coolness of the diploma handed over. There was a rush of excitement in knowing she finished such a lengthy, difficult task, but also wonder of what new job she could get with those topics. Uncertainty hovered around when she headed back to her seat, but melted away as the largest situation swarmed to replace it.

She slowly turned, eyeing the room as if for defects. The closet door gaped open almost accusingly in its emptiness. She looked away, shifting again to head for the nearest window. She stared to the ground below, brown observing the neighborhood. Time became nonexistent. She watched leaves blow on the nearest tree next door, mind blank.

"Finished packing yet? I've got your stuff by the door."

She turned and looked into shunted blue, unconsciously involved in a staring contest until a hand shifted.

_"You're WHAT?!"_

_She flinched at the volume. "Moving."_

_"I heard that well enough. I just don't understand WHY! Don't you think this culture absorbance is going a little too far? I can get the food and language bits, but aren't you blowing this to irrationality?"_

_She looked away, eyes downcast. "Regardless...it's what I've decided."_

_Sam stood and started pacing, fists clenched. "It's Inaki, isn't it? It's gotta be - we're talking his home country after all." Blue narrowed to slits. "I'll kill him... I'll go over there and kick his ass till it's PAST black and blue!"_

_"He's got nothing to do with this; he actually told me to rethink everything. I granted his request and thought the hell out of this, but I'm still going."_

_There was a tense silence before Sam slumped where she was and landed on carpet. She didn't dare shift for fear of explosion, so let the girl make the first move._

_"How are you planning on taking your stuff with you? That's serious shipping costs."_

_She blinked a few times, almost disbelieving what she just heard. "D - does that mean...you're okay with this?"_

_Sam whirled to face her, eyes blazing and tears streaking her face. "Of COURSE I'm not! You're talking about a risk taking you across the OCEAN! Halfway across the world! I'm your sister; your best friend - the last thing I want to hear is you leaving."_

_Her vision swam and she unconsciously inched across the living room floor. "Sam..."_

_"This isn't moving from home you realize. You're going to alienate yourself from everything you know and love. Are you ready for that??"_

_"I know it'll be hard - I've made lists of things in case I missed anything. I've though long and hard about this and I want to go make my future in a different place."_

_"Why can't you make it here? What is so damn special about that area??"_

_She couldn't explain the whole reincarnation thing to justify the move, because she had a feeling Sam wouldn't understand and wouldn't WANT to._

_Brown looked away from blue, eyeing the coffee table. "When I went there the first time...I felt at home there." She looked back, somehow knowing a retort was coming. "Please don't misunderstand me Sam! I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like I belong there! Haven't you ever felt out of place in this country?"_

_Sure Inaki could reprimand she was letting Kagome get to her and to try harder. Yet the more she went over everything, the less she found comparisons of either past life to this one. Kagome was really fading away in her mind. This was a wish spawned from half a soul and mutated into this final desire._

_The need of finding a place to really live in._

_"I don't like the idea of you going...but I'll support you on any decision you make, you know that. Even if it's something like this. But just humor me and give me some specifies so I feel better about all of this."_

She crossed the room without thought and embraced the girl. Sam was only momentarily shocked before tightly returning the hug. "Find some way to give me a call when you get over there, okay? I know it'll be costly, but charge it to me if you have to. Better yet, we're stopping and picking up a phone card before you leave."

She merely nodded, not in any mood to argue. Let Sam do as she pleased - it would be a while before they saw each other again. "I'll write as soon as I get money for postage." She murmured.

"No you don't - no making me cry." Sam mildly retorted. They separated as the Hispanic made to wipe her eyes. The girl gave a small smile. "I told myself I wasn't going to do this."

She gave her friend a soft look. "When I save up enough money, I'm going to fly you out so you can visit."

The pair turned to leave and Sam flicked the light off. "You think I can't afford it on my own?"

She snorted. "You'd ask your parents anyway."

"Course I would. You think either of us can afford that with aid to pay back?? You're not going to have free time or money, so talk to me when you do."

She stopped at the middle half of the steps and looked to the extra living room. "Maybe...but I WILL have you over someday soon."

Sam looked up with an almost sad smile. "Then I will look forward to that day. I haven't puked since I was a kid."

A hand slapped over her eyes at such a horrible way of ruining the moment. "Don't tell me you get that bad on planes..."

A smirk sprouted. "Horribly. It's dangerous for those sitting around me in every direction."

It wasn't funny to laugh at her friend's misery, but she couldn't help it. She needed some lightheartedness in a time of separation and sorrow. "You're so disgusting...it's amazing you even handle car rides."

"Thousands of feet in the air doesn't suit me." Sam mumbled, casting a dry look before turning for the kitchen. "You've got everything from down here right?"

She sobered rather quickly and hopped the remaining steps. "Pretty sure, but let me go over everything again."

_"Why are you giving me all of your movies? I won't watch them all."_

_"And I'm not going to watch any if I take them with me. You'll be the one with the tv and dvd player. I'll be lucky to even get cable by the end of the year."_

_"Point taken. I'll take them then."_

_She smiled and reached for the next item stacked with a few things not needed or wanted to take across seas. Only major things could go; everything else would cost more than what she could save up. "I know you have enough on your own, but you can take this too."_

_"You should keep that! You might want to use it one of these days."_

_Raven swished. Brown looked to the plastic container. "This country is different than over there. It's more about fitting in than standing out. Inaki's family has connections there that they said they'd help me on, but otherwise I need to do all I can on my own. That includes abiding by the norms."_

_"Sounds restrictive if you ask me."_

_"I did a small map-out of everything around here over a weekend...and you can keep the furniture in my room."_

_Sam's head shook. "You should keep that too. If anything, you should get the money out of it by selling it to a furniture shop. It's all in pretty good order after all and you'll need it."_

_"Mom is letting me sell what she kept for when I visited. I won't have a need anymore and she didn't want to keep it either. I've got a dresser, nightstand, and bed to put to use. Plus there's some stuff in the attic I can go through to see what I can do with that."_

_"It still sounds like you won't have enough money. You know you can borrow some from me or the family if you can't get everything shipped over."_

_She smiled and rested a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I know you'd give it to me in a heartbeat, but if I plan right I should be okay. I appreciate the gesture though."_

"That's all." She answered, stopping by the front door. Brown took in the few plastic tubs containing books and clothing stuffed in for packing. There were some small boxes carrying bathroom necessities and dishes to get by until her finances looked up. There was very little she owned, but that was a good thing right now. All the furisode given to her by Jayden were safely packed away and sealed in bags to prevent wrinkles.

Of course her bike had to go; it would be her main mode of transportation, but also the most expensive thing to take. It would save her in the long run and she was loathe to give it up.

"Well I guess you won't have much to pay for with your stuff." Sam announced, leaning against a pillar. "At least all this'll fit in my car."

She snorted and opened the door, bringing in a gust of autumn wind. "Thankfully it's cool for a morning." She replied, holding the door open and pulling a bin with.

In less than half an hour, the pair moved everything to the trunk. They stood at the side of the car, both staring at the house. "Sure you're not forgetting anything?" Sam asked.

"If I am, you can mail it to me."

The girl snorted. "Is there anything at home you think you'll need?"

"We'll find out once we get there." She moved for the passenger see, Sam for the driver's, and the pair took off. She didn't want to look back because any doubt would make everything crumble. She was sure of this, it was what she wanted, and anything now was futile. Plans were made, an apartment in Tokyo was picked out and the deposit paid, and her things were packed.

She would really be going in a few hours.

The plane was purposely picked for an afternoon flight to give plenty of time to remember everything and say goodbye to those she knew.

-----

The car stopped in front of the Merth house and she momentarily stared at it before going for the handle. Everyone was lounging on the porch and stood as she headed up the walk.

Missy was the first to embrace her, not letting anyone else go first. "You be safe getting there. I don't want to hear anything from hija about problems getting adjusted."

She blinked back tears at the waver in the elder woman's voice. "I - I will." She mumbled, taking a deep breath.

Carl hugged her when Missy stepped back, giving a squeeze that said more than words. "Bueno suerte hija."

"Thanks padre." She whispered, losing the battle with tears.

The pair she haunted and was haunted by for years stepped forward together. "You're crazy you know that?" Casey retorted, slinging an arm around her shoulders.

"Yea, you think this's going to work?" Kevin agreed, an arm around her waist.

She smiled at the pair, scuffing both their hair. "I'm sure." She answered, ignoring their hands at her action. "But it's nice to know you care."

The pair snorted and gave a mini group hug before stepping back.

Carl moved in again, a hand reaching for something in his back pocket. "It's a shame to see you go hija. We've always thought of you as our own and we know you feel the same way. Since we consider you family, we're giving you this." He produced a plain, white envelope and handed it to her. "And we won't take no for an answer."

She stared, having a good notion of what was inside. "I...I can't take your money." She denounced, hands in the air. As much as she wanted to, needed it for groceries and emergency cash, she was reluctant to accept.

"I said we won't take no for an answer." One of Carl's hands reached out and grasped wrist, firmly planting the money in her palm before letting go. "It's nothing for us and a small trifle of what we can do to help. Think of this as a going-away present."

She dumbly nodded and unfolded the flap. Brown widened to saucers as she pulled out two hundred dollar bills. Her mouth dropped open, denial on her tongue.

A hand clamped over her mouth as she started forming words. "Just take it and be happy you've got some expenses covered." Sam answered, letting go. "After all, you're going to need it."

She stared at the money, tears gathering faster than she could blink them back. "Th - thank you...everyone..." She practically launched at Missy and Carl in a hug. "I appreciate everything you've ever done for me... I only wish...there was something I could do back."

The boys smiled and moved to a full family hug. "Hey, we got time with you hija, that's good enough for us." Kevin replied.

"Does anyone know what two hundred dollars equals to in Japanese currency?" Sam pondered when they separated.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I wish there was something I could do for you honey, but good luck and prayers are all I can manage."

She smiled and entered the embrace. "I know mom, but I appreciate the thought. I was given some money by certain parties," Brown drifted to Sam sitting nearby, "so I'm fine. I saved up what I can and the Yamoi family is helping me with a job. They already helped find a relatively cheap apartment."

Sam grinned. "They had good reason for it."

Ella pulled away, wiping her eyes. "I'll miss you so much Kalie. My little baby is moving away farther than a simple visit."

Brown teared. "Oh mom..." Bangs shadowed eyes for a spell to compose herself. "I'll miss you too, but I'll have to try and get you to visit me sometime."

"We'll go as a pack." Sam suddenly piped in. "Me and Ella and mom and dad and tweedle dee and tweedle dum and Inaki's family -"

"Okay, THAT would take me years to save up for." She cut in, smiling.

"I hope you can adjust over there." Ella's hand rose and brushed through raven. "I don't know anything about Japan except from meeting Inaki, but it's a whole different place. I hope you're extra careful and find some people who can watch out for you over there."

She smiled and took the woman's hand, giving it a pat. "I'll be fine mom - like I said, Inaki's family has some connections. I'll get worked in. After all, I've already got a place to stay."

"They're so good to you. They're good people - I'm glad you got to know them."

She looked to the carpet with dull eyes. "Yea...me too..."

-----

She took some time out to make a quick stop at the pool Sheryl and Hal worked at. Sam didn't mind the drive and was eager to see the pair again. She made a thorough sweep of her old home before they left to make sure everything was taken or not. They had other things to do and people to visit, so she couldn't afford extra looking. The last thing she wanted was to drop her things off to get shipped and have problems that ran over her flight.

The pool was being drained in a few days, the temperatures getting down enough with the year almost over. School would start up as well and they didn't allow both to go on at the same time.

Her head poked past the concrete entrance, eyes scanning the area for life. Her subtle entrance was spoiled as Sam pranced in and called out for anyone in the vicinity. She sighed and headed to snoop. She hoped the twins were working today - it wouldn't do well if she had to go hunting for them.

"Sorry but we're down for maintenance right now - Sam?? I thought I saw your face."

She smirked at that and headed toward the voice, sneaking a peek around the corner for the women's changing room and spied her old friend. "Yo, Sheryl."

Said girl all but shrieked, dropped a shop broom in her hands, and rushed her. Arms went around her, pinning hers to her body, and swept her into the air. "Oh my god! It's been a while K! How's it going?? To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

She had to take a minute to get over that whirlwind attitude. A smile popped up as she stepped back, though a little anxious to say the reason for her visit and spoil Sheryl's sudden good mood. "Well, I wanted to see you."

"Hey chica, I'm going to go roam; it's been a while since I've seen the place."

She nodded, mentally thanking her friend for being astute - whatever happened to the blunt, yet tactless friend she knew years ago?? - and looked down the concrete hall to the pool section. "I had something I wanted to tell you...I didn't want to go and not talk to you ever again."

A brow rose, Sheryl's head tilting. "Go? Why do I not like the sound of that? Where are you moving to now??"

Teeth bit her lip for a second as she looked away. "I - uh - to Tokyo." She mumbled, unable to look her friend in the eye. It was too quiet for too long and when she looked up, she found an incredulous look bearing down on her. She gave a self-conscious smile and scratched her head in a fidget. "I know it sounds odd and totally out of the blue, but I already went there once last year and it's a pretty cool place. I decided to live there once I graduated and saved enough money up. Well, I graduated in the beginning of May and got my degrees. So I'm just stopping to tell you."

Sheryl looked away, an unreadable look quickly masking her face. "You're coming to say goodbye." She interpreted, reaching for the broom.

"I know it's stupid of me to throw this at you in one day. I apologize for not stopping sooner, but I ran more hours at the hotel with school over and had a lot of sorting and packing and -"

The girl stood, back to her, a quiet sigh escaping. "Hey...I can understand. You've been busy." Sheryl twisted at the waist to give a small smile, sadness in her eyes. "It seems since we met in high school you always had something going on. I know you've got a life, I've got one too - yours just happens to be fuller than mine." Hands clenched over wood. "This is just totally out of the blue. I definitely can't picture you living there, but who am I to judge? I've never been there myself."

She took a step forward, teeth gnashing her lip. "Sheryl..."

Sheryl walked to the pool area, practically ignoring her name. "Yo Hal! K's here and she's got something to tell you!" She shouted. She turned and eyes met. "I'm not mad at you or anything, but I should get back to work."

She nodded, absently looking to the ground. "I understand." She waited until Sheryl was nearly into the women's room before deciding to say what was on her mind. "You know...I owe a lot of the early changes in my life to you guys... You helped open me up some and I can never repay you two for that. You have my deep thanks for your friendship. I'll never forget it."

She got a nod and saw the glint of tears before her friend passed a wall and was out of sight.

Footsteps caught her attention and she headed for them, heart heavy. Both Hal and Sheryl were her beginning friends and they meant a lot to her, as every friend did, and it hurt no less to say goodbye to them in such a timeless manner.

"Well hell, if it isn't Kalie Himmen. What brings you around your old hometown? You haven't stopped by in a while. Forget about us?"

A brief smile met Sheryl's twin before she stepped into the outside. "Hey Hal."

Said male swept her into a hug before she could say another word, giving a squeeze. "I know you're taken, but I still have privilege of plutonic hugs, so don't tell your guy okay?"

Brown teared a little, but she nodded at his attempt of humor. Hal would forever be a sore spot in even a tiny way due to his ever-present crush on her. She never wanted to hurt him by spurning his affections, but there wasn't a time when she wanted to be involved with him.

"Hal, there's something I have to tell you..."

"So I hear. Sheryl shouted at me and startled me so bad I practically fell over."

She escaped his hold and took a few steps back, unable to be so close and say the words she needed to say. "Well, I already talked to Sheryl about this and she's not taking it good. I didn't know whether I expected her to or not, but it's too much for someone when you see them again after months I guess."

"Rambling from you is normally a bad sign." Hal interrupted, all humor escaping his face. A hand landed on her shoulder. "You know you can tell me anything you need straight out. What is it you told Sheryl?"

She dug deep for courage to look her friend in the eye. "I'm moving. My plane leaves today in a few hours and I was just coming to say goodbye."

The only visible thing from Hal was a clenching of his jaw. Silence was broken only by the wind and gurgling of nearby pool filters for what seemed the longest time. "I...see. Where is this place going to be?"

"Tokyo."

Hal stepped away and stared at her as if waiting for the punch line. Brown managed not to look away, though she felt a need to dumb the blow down like with Sheryl.

"I see... This just came about or have you been planning it like you do everything else?"

She fought not to cringe at the evenness of his voice. "I know it's horrible of me to come and drop this on you both, but I still wanted you to know. You're my friends and you deserve to be told." Brown dropped to the ground, fingers twisting together. "I thought about this a lot and for me, you know that's serious. I waited until graduation to do anything. I took the few months after to save up some needed money and get things in order. You're not the only one I announced this to so suddenly. No one is happy with my decision and I don't blame them, but it's not going to change anything."

Hal gave a nod and suddenly swept her into his arms, giving the fiercest hug she ever received. "I won't lie and say this is something I support you on. I think it's crazy, but you've got your heart set on this it seems. I suppose I should count myself lucky you stopped by." He pulled away with a humorless smile, eyes hollow. "At least I got to see you before you leave."

"Hal...I -" His lips cut her off and shocked her so thoroughly she couldn't pick mental functions up to pull away or question why he was doing this. Brown widened and stared at his lashes until he pulled away, ignoring the squeeze before he stepped back. Fingers drifted to her mouth, running over lips in astonishment.

Hal blushed a little and scratched his neck. "I...I always wanted to catch you off-guard one time and do that. I suppose the time was perfect since I won't ever get to do that again."

She blinked and startled to attention when he turned and leaned for cleaning equipment left on the ground. "Hal...I -"

"You have a lot to get to yet from what I hear." He answered, not looking at her. "I'm glad you stopped by to tell us and visit one last time, but you should get those other things done. I have to get back to work."

Sheryl said the same thing. Of course they were taking this badly, considering she was treating them so unfairly. She didn't want any hard feelings to remain after she left; maybe someday she hoped to come back and see everyone, even if it was only for a few days. It was only a generic thought; who knew what her money and job situations would be.

She stopped behind, a hand rising. Lips pressed together before eyes hardened at his purposely ignoring her and fingers grabbed shirt. She stepped back as he practically whirled around, eyes watery. She blinked, but stood firm. "Apologies won't undue the harm I've done to you two," She quietly began, "but I do mean it when I say I'm sorry for putting you on the spotlight like this. I was thoughtless and crass for not saying anything in advance and I'm sorry for that. Perhaps we could've spent a day together before this, but now there's no time. If you don't mind...I'd like to write to you when I get settled and money for stamps and whatnot. I don't want to lose contact with you just because of this."

Hal stopped in front of her, staring down with his taller stature. She met his eyes, showing the seriousness of her words and hoped he accepted them. After a second, a minute smile appeared and with it, a nod. "I'd like that." He murmured.

She smiled. "I can't say how long it'll take me to get my life in order there, but I swear to you I'll write."

The smile widened. "I know you will." A hand reached out and cupped her chin. "You be safe, you hear?"

"Of course."

"You've got to go now. You really will be cutting it short if you don't."

His words held less of a sting and she nodded in agreement, happy to smooth everything over. She didn't want to say goodbye, so waved before jogging back to the entrance.

"You really will write us?"

She stopped dead at shuddery words, immediately turning to them. Her heart clenched at Sheryl's red eyes. She turned and went to hug the girl, getting one in return. "I already swore to Hal I would. I swear it to you too."

"Don't sound too serious over it. All you need to do is promise."

She smiled and wiped her friend's cheeks. "This way you know I'll do what I say."

The pair stepped away and she waved a second time before taking the exit. Sam was in the driver's seat, listening to something on the radio. She inhaled the autumn air, feeling sad and good at the same time. Brown quickly scanned the scenery before heading to the car.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was kind of dumb to head all the way back to Miami when she should've done this before leaving, but they had to go through there anyway so it worked out.

They stopped at the house, which made nostalgia turn to surrealism, to use the phone. After that, she and Sam headed for the beach.

She stood in her spot and watched the waves and mid-morning sun splash colors over the tide. It was so beautiful, but she would have this in Japan to look at. Her spot wasn't going to be as missed because it was just a place. She couldn't call this area hers because too many people frequented it, making it easier to leave behind. The people she knew were the issue.

"So what's so important that you had to break us away from some much needed napping? It's only ten thirty! I like to sleep to noon on my weekends."

A smile tipped her lips as she turned. Chance stopped feet away, hands on hips, Marisol trailing behind. "I was having the nicest dream about last night too."

"Sweetheart!" Marisol reached out and ruffled her girlfriend's hair, getting a squawk of protest. "Not in front of Kalie."

"If she doesn't know by now, she deserves a nun's life." Chance retorted, smoothing her locks. "So what did you call us for?"

Yet another group of people she was springing this on. She almost felt guilty and sat down. The pair followed, giving her curious attention. "I just thought you should know...I'm moving away."

"Going back home are you?"

Black swished slowly. "No...I'm moving across seas. I'm going to live in Tokyo."

Chance's back went ramrod. "WHAT?! When the hell is this taking place??"

She shifted under her friend's glare. "My plane...leaves in a few hours..."

"And just WHEN did you decide it was a good idea to tell us?? Were you even planning on cluing us in? Maybe we would've found out after a few months of not seeing you around town - is that what you intended??"

This was going badly, but Chance was a lot more outspoken and she should've expected this. "No!" She denied, hands in the air. "I didn't graduate until a few months ago; you knew because you did too! I had a lot of things to get done and took on a lot more work to earn some cash. I didn't mean to spring this on you like this, honest!"

"Sweetheart, please calm down. It's just shock Kalie, she isn't as mad as she seems."

Chance stood and started pacing, kicking up sand and nailing them both with such close proximity. "You say that like you're sure of yourself Mar." Chance stopped and leveled her with a glare. "So...you're going to be over there...for how long?"

She swallowed. "Uh...indefinitely." She mumbled, wanting to shrink away.

Chance resumed pacing, hands digging in hair. "Nice...that's nice. Great to know you're going to toss us away."

She bristled. "I'm not doing any such thing!" She stood and met her friend eye-to-eye, fists clenching. "I feel bad enough for telling you right before I leave. But at least I gave you the courtesy of cluing you in. You're not the only one you know - I just got done with this same thing from Sheryl and Hal. It's been a very hectic time and I didn't mean to cut anyone away from my life, but it happened. I couldn't just go at it half-assed; I needed some serious plans behind me. It was either tell everyone and spend my final days with you all or know what I'm going to do before and after I go."

The pair stared at each other for what seemed the longest time before Chance sighed and dropped to the sand. Marisol leaned over and gingerly rested a hand on Chance's shoulder, pressure increasing when it wasn't batted away. "This is quite sudden I must say, but I'm not as emotional because we never really got to know each other. I'm sad of course, so I can understand what everyone is going through, but I'd like to wish you luck at least."

She resumed sitting and gave the girl a smile. "Thanks Marisol. I appreciate it."

She stared at Chance, who refused to lift her head and let anyone look her in the eye. After a span of tense silence, the girl stood and whirled around, still not letting her face be seen. "Come on Mar, we're leaving."

"But...Chance -"

"She told us what we came here for and we have no further business. It's time for us to go."

She was hoping for a less harsh exit, but it wasn't possible to let everyone down gently, nor keep her in their good graces she supposed. Sure this was a common factor today that everyone she knew was shocked and / or outraged, but it was a shame Chance was taking this more personally than necessary. She knew it wasn't a good thing to let her friend go without trying to calm her down, but maybe not all friendships could last. That was a sad thought, but it was realistic at least.

She stood and dusted herself off, ready to head for Sam's car and up to Andytown for the last round of goodbyes when the pair stopped. She paused, breath held.

"Kalie..."

She blinked. "Yea?"

Chance sighed again, the back of her head lifting as she looked to the sky. "Well wishes, okay?"

Relief hit and she nodded, even if Chance never turned around. "Thanks Chance..."

That said, the pair headed for their car and took off without any other word.

She watched them go, a minute smile on her face. It was more than she hoped for, thinking her friend would hold a grudge over this, and was happy to be proven wrong. Chance was a mild hot head, but cooled off enough to see things rationally.

She shut the car door and quickly buckled in. "Last stop." She said, settling in for a long drive.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was Sam's first trip to not only Andytown, but the Yamoi house. It kind of sucked that this would be her only visit, also a brief one. She only was here to speak with everyone and finalize things with Inaki. Then it was off to Miami AGAIN to drop off her stuff and a quick stop to the airport. When thinking about it, there seemed very little time left for anything. But they had until two, and that was at least three hours away.

She wanted to spend the most time with the Yamois. They treated her the best and she was so grateful to know them. Whether she could get them to visit some day in the future was unknown. It was a nice thought, but she didn't entertain it right now.

"This place is COOL!"

She grinned at Sam's exuberance and stepped from the car. "I had somewhat the same reaction you've got when I first saw this place." She replied, heading for the engawa. "Wait'll you see the inside. Most of it is right out of traditional Japanese customs."

Sam snorted and followed her. "No wonder you like coming here so much."

She chuckled and rang the doorbell. "A few things - make sure to take your shoes off before you step on carpet and make sure to call everyone Mr. or Mrs., okay?"

Sam nodded. "Is that all?"

What else did her friend need to keep from being impolite? As long as the girl didn't say anything TOO out of order and act with respect to both house and occupants, she was fine.

She mentally cringed. 'I don't know about her keeping her mouth in line though...'

The inside door swung open and threw her from her thoughts. She stared at the person on the other side of the screen door. A hand threw it open and practically launched herself into their arms, the hug readily accepted.

_She appeared in an all white, utterly beautiful silk kimono; large, silver cranes embroidered everywhere_._ Her hair was up in a complex design, a five-piece kanzashi of intricate gold and red. There was no veil over her head as in old times, but it wasn't needed._

_Jayden never appeared lovelier and she was envious as she watched Inaki's sister stop and kneel in front of the priest next to Chad. She studied the kanzashi, hoping one day she could wear a set as beautiful as her friend had on now._

_"May the wisdom of the Blessed One shine within our hearts so that the mists of error and the foolish vanity of self may be dispelled. So shall we understand the changing nature of this life and strive to reach that spiritual peace which the Buddha taught. Friends, we are together today in the presence of this congregation and in the sight of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, to witness the vows of Chad and Jayden. I earnestly ask anyone who knows of any impediment to this marriage to make it known now, or else remain silent."_

_Of course no one said a word. Those two were so adorable together and it was so exciting to see them finally get married. She still took a quick peek at half the neighborhood crowding around the backyard. She was lucky enough to have a good viewing spot with the rest of the family - quite an honor considering she should've been with the masses on the grass - on the engawa._

_"Before taking of yourselves these vows, remember it is the duty of the husband to support and cherish his wife, to be faithful to her, to comfort her in sickness or sorrow, and to assist in bringing up the children. It is the duty of the wife to love and help her husband, to be patient and gentle in her manner, and to be faithful to him always."_

_She wasn't really surprised when the pair exchanged rings. It wasn't common in Buddhism, but this was not in Japan. It was quite easy to forget her location in seeing so many well-dressed people everywhere. She wore the red furisode Jayden gave for a bit of well-wished luck to her friend._

_After the vows and 'I will', the priest brought the pairs' hands together and draped a rosary over it. "Brother and sister, in the midst of worldly illusions with their fleeting glamour, try to preserve in your hearts the truths taught by the Buddha. Be compassionate to all, and set your feet on the path which leads from illusion and sorrow to enlightenment and peace. Since you have both agreed to marry according to Buddhist rite, I pronounce you to be husband and wife."_

_The air was thick with incense, even outside. She burned a stick as well, for it would be rude not to._

_"May the Blessed One receive you from this day forth as his faithful disciples, who take His teaching as your guide. May peace be with you, and wisdom and compassion surround you at all times."_

_A few people lit candles and many sat around on zabuton and meditated, as was another custom after a wedding. Food was distributed later on and she sat and watched the family converse with the monk._

_She sat beside Inaki, wondering if - provided she stayed here - she would've been married to him in the same fashion. But it was useless to think that, since she was still moving to Tokyo soon after graduation._

"Konnichi wa Jayden-chan." She murmured.

Said person leaned back and brushed bangs from her eyes. "Konnichi wa K-chan."

She waved to Sam and the pair headed inside. Her shoes automatically went against the wall and idly watched Sam copy her. "What're you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Chad in your own home?"

Jayden almost blushed, but her head shook. "Koishii is here as well. We...we wanted to see you off and talk a little before you left."

She fought tears, taking a deep breath and turning to Sam. "Sam, this is Inaki's older sister Jayden-san. Jayden-chan, this is my best friend Sam."

The woman stepped forward, hand extended in western tradition. "A very big pleasure to meet you. This is the first time I've seen any of K-chan's friends."

Sam grinned. "Nice to meet you too. First time I've met anyone on Inaki's side. Nice digs you got here."

Hands slapped over her face, but Jayden chuckled. "Daijoubu K-chan; don't worry yourself. We weren't offended when you came for the first time."

A self-conscious smile appeared at the teasing, but she took it in, grateful for it. Brown looked to the kitchen, becoming a little solemn. "Aitsu wa...doko?"

"Inaki? He's in the outside dojo. I think he's waiting for you too."

She absently nodded, eyes locking with the patio doors. "Jayden-chan...would you mind taking care of Sam for a little bit? I apologize for not doing so myself...but I just need a few minutes."

"Ii desu, I understand. Come Sam-san; let me give you a tour of our 'digs'."

Sam laughed, but a hand landed on her shoulder. "You going to be okay?"

She had the courage to face him, really she did. As guilty as it made her feel to see him and still talk to his family, she could do this.

"I'll be okay; you go and admire this place - I know you'll love it."

She headed out back without any other word, slipping into an extra pair of zouri set aside for anyone to use, and shut the screen door. Brown took in the area, already missing it a little. There would be no fancy lawns, no engawa to stand out on in her new home. If she was lucky, the housing people she talked to over the months would have gotten a balcony with the apartment at least.

Feet slowly took her down steps and across the lawn. They met every stone to the dojo without needing to look, eyes locked on closed shoji. She stood on the porch and stared at thin paper for what seemed eternity before it suddenly slid open and nearly made her jump a mile.

He looked mildly amused, since she should've been able to sense him coming, but was probably preoccupied right now. All traces of humor slowly died as brown met brown. "Are you ready to go?" He asked, moving to stop in front of her, hand closing the door behind him.

She nodded. "I double-checked everything at the houses. I just need a quick look around here to make sure I didn't leave anything." Teeth bit her lip, feeling unsure to ask the question on her tongue. It was simple enough, that was sure, but she almost felt bad. She was demanding so much out of him and should be ashamed of herself, if not for one main thought going through her head. "Are YOU ready?"

_"Are you absolutely sure about this hisofusan?? Giving me this..."_

_Hands moved the sword forward again, insisting through his reluctance. "I had a talk with the others himagomusuko and we decided this jointly. It would have gone to musuko and after that to magomusuko, but eventually it would have traveled the family name to you. Since you will be gone for who knows how long and possibly unable to visit for a very long time, we decided to skip it and give it to you directly."_

_"But...surely ojiisan would want this at least..." Brown eyed the black scabbard, shined and polished. Teeth bit his lip, hands itching to hold Tessaiga again, but not wanting to appear too eager. As far as he knew, hisofusan had no clue he practiced with his old sword before or that he knew exactly what it was._

_"I made sure of this with everyone. Since they are closer in line than you, if either wished to own it I wouldn't have taken you aside for this. Believe me when I say this is all three of our wishes." The sword was extended again to be taken. "Since they have decided, think of this as something of a going-away present. The one thing I can do for you, knowing your interest in weapons."_

_He wanted to smile, the reason for that interest mostly Inuyasha's doing. He nodded in acceptance though, both hands reaching to politely acknowledge responsibility. He held the scabbard close for inspection, mildly stunned it came back to him again. Fate had the most screwed up sense of humor, but it was good to hold his old friend once more. He gripped the frayed hilt and pulled the scabbard apart. Dull rust shown back at him, shiny with polish to extend its life._

_His brow furrowed as a thought took root. He was not supposed to own this sword anymore...Inuyasha gave that to Souta a VERY long time ago. "Hisofusan...how did you come to own this?"_

_The old man smiled and shifted in his sitting stance. A hand went and absently patted folds out of the velvet interior of the case. "I admit it's not the best weapon for someone to own. It's more of a collector's item, as you can tell by its horrible condition. I was given it on seijin no hi. In my day, there was nothing more symbolic of a man, than his sword." The elder smiled. "It was reminiscence of the old samurai days mostly. My parents were very thoughtful. They would've been alive around the ending of those days you know."_

_He stared at Tessaiga, already knowing that part. "Demo...how did you come into possession? I - I imagine it should be a very precious item to someone."_

_He would hope Souta wouldn't keep Tessaiga for a decade or so and get rid of it for closet space or something so trivial. Sure Inuyasha made a lame excuse of 'temporarily' holding it in case he came back for it someday, but - hell! - he never thought he'd ACTUALLY come into ownership of it again! Inuyasha wanted the boy, one of the few humans to accept him regardless of looks or powers, something to remind him of their time together._

_He stared at the old man in front of him, confused and a little curious. If only there was a way for Tessaiga to speak and inform him of all its changes since the wish. He had a feeling there was so much this ancient sword knew that he didn't. It could recount some interesting times with both Inuyasha AND his father, since the taiyoukai was the one to make it long before the hanyou's birth somewhere around the Heian era._

_"If I remember rightly, my parents bought it for quite a bit of En in those days. They gave me a paper accompanying it, describing a little of the history of the sword. It was apparently done by the previous owner. I didn't bother to ask who owned it before me or why they sold it, but I would think something like this would be donated to a museum instead of a pawn shop."_

_He absently nodded, staring at the object in his hands. He thought back to Souta after Inuyasha's disappearance and Kagome's later relatives. They didn't have a good relationship. Since Souta died only a few years ago - WAY too late to coincide with hisofusan's seijin no hi, he was betting one of the relatives got rid of it. One of his family must've pulled Tessaiga into the light and saw it at surface level - a rusty sword that would never be of use. Souta wasn't that type of person and looked serious when given Tessaiga that time._

_He tried not to glare at the mention of such people Kagome would've been related to. Times definitely changed and if he was correct, this proved it. It left a bad taste in his mouth to think he would soon be living in the same city as those people, but if he was lucky, he wouldn't see En and Kyojaku on the streets too much._

Brown looked to closed wood and paper. "I think as ready as I'll ever be." He quietly replied. "I was just taking in a few things and making sure I had everything I wanted out of here." A thumb pointed in its general direction. "I don't know how many of the sharp weapons I can smuggle out, but if I'm lucky I can chain them together and get by."

Lips pursed as she considered that. She had no clue if he could even take ANY weapons out of the United States. They had way stricter policies than Japan on who could take out or into this country. "Well...luck will be on your side if you can take Tessaiga with you." She answered, giving a little smile.

He nodded, looking in the general direction of his sword. It was good to have what was Inuyasha's in his possession. He felt a little more connected to his other half and even though he was not Inuyasha, he felt nostalgic about it in a good way.

Her lips twitched higher as she inched forward almost timidly and took a hand. "It's interesting how you came to own it again. You'll have to tell me sometime how Inuyasha gave it away in the first place."

He wanted to grimace, not in the mood to bring back all those bad memories, even if they floated to the surface with her words. He gave a squeeze and directed her to the house. "Someday I will. But we've got to finish going through the house to make sure you and I have everything we're taking."

"Un." She trailed behind, eyes on the ground, eventually stopping. She didn't let go of his hand, but the weight on her chest made teeth gnash her lips in ever-present blame.

He stopped at the sudden lurch to his arm and looked back. "K? Nani ka?"

She harshly swallowed, fighting to say the words. It would make her feel better, but she might just curse herself to loneliness over there if she said them. "I...feel bad." She whispered. He stopped in front and her vision suddenly switched from dirt to his face. She blinked back tears. "I asked you to come with me...and now you are. You're giving up everything just to be with me. I won't lie and say you should be with your family over me...or that I'm not happy you're coming...but I'm to blame for your decision. Gomen...I - I -"

His hand shifted and a finger rested over her lips. "Yes you decided to go. You did as I asked and reconsidered. That was all I wanted from you. At the time I hadn't thought about it either - I didn't know what I wanted. But as you thought, so did I. I realized I'd have nothing if I left you to go without me by your side."

She wanted to deny acceptance of his words. This responsibility of her actions wouldn't die just yet. "But your family -"

He cut her off again, this time with his lips. "My family understands." He murmured, pulling away. "They're happy I found someone I want to be with and who is so important to me. After nee-chan's wedding, I'm the only one without someone in that way. Even though hibososan is gone, hisofusan still has her memories and spirit to keep him company. If we separated, I would be alone again...there would be no one to override everything you gave me and no one to replace you." His hand moved away, sliding down her back to hold her. "I would never forgive myself for finding true happiness, regardless of how we were supposed to meet and our pasts, and losing it. I won't make the same mistakes Inuyasha did."

She blinked to clear tears from her eyes, so thoroughly touched. Love devoured her and she hugged him for all she was worth. "Arigatou..." She breathed. "I'll remember your words. I just hope - I hope you don't think differently when we get over there and settled and you miss your family too much and end up wanting to return."

"The same goes for you." He threw back. "I have no regrets about any of this...none since I met you. I'll flow with the changes in my life and not stop to wonder how it could affect me. I might miss the chance of a lifetime if I do." He pulled away with a soft smile. "I'm glad to be taking this journey together. Tanoshiminishite."

A beaming smile appeared, creasing the tracks on her face. "Un! Atashi mo."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Nothing was more of a pain in the neck than trying to get through custom's rules. Her things were pretty much harmless, but Inaki's were the issue. Sure they weren't taking much; hardly any furniture and mostly small stuff, but his weapons gained the biggest disagreement. They were wrapped in cloth and rope, but to satisfy the shipping people, they wanted tape on Tessaiga's hilt and scabbard.

He nearly saw red and exploded in a fit of Inuyasha's temper, but K eventually looked over the rules again and a suitable agreement was found for all. No WAY would either be okay with any kind of tape on a sword at least nine hundred years old!

Sam took them to the airport in Miami and his entire family followed in a separate car. Jayden and Chad squeezed in with them for extra room for the elders.

They stood just out of bounds for check-in, since only those with tickets could get through the terminal. It was mildly awkward until Sam suddenly stepped forward with tears in her eyes and engulfed them both in a bear hug. Jayden and Kristine stepped forward, equally teary, and added to the mass. The men shrugged to each other before surrounding everyone, one big group hug taking up a chunk of floor space.

Never had she felt so loved by so many people than this moment. She would miss everyone dearly and silently vowed to herself as much as humanely possible she would find a way to write them. She would keep in touch with such a kind group even if she was stressed from life and there was little money or free seconds. It would be worse to lose them in her memories to the strand of time than be hungry because she spent money on mailing.

The mass finally separated and Omo grabbed his hand, putting a plain envelope in it. They stared at it, but she already knew what was inside, having gone through this before.

Brown looked from the paper in his hand to his father. "Tousan..." He mumbled, eyes misting.

The man smiled, eyes shunted. "This is a trivial amount compared to what we could really give you." The man reached over and took Kristine's hand, giving it a squeeze. "Our son has become more of a man than we hoped for and everyone wishes you the best of luck. I only hope the housing company we talked to and arranged will help you out over there."

Kristine stepped forward, clasping her son's free hand. "Gonbatte ne you two."

He stepped forward and engulfed his mother. "Aishite okaasan..." He whispered, harshly swallowing. He stepped back and looked to his family. "I will miss you all, but I will think of you often. Please consider visiting us in the near future."

Jayden's hand connected on his shoulder, lightly slapping him. "Baka, of COURSE we'll visit!" She announced. "You think we'd let you go and never see you again? Fool."

She smiled. "Thank you Jayden-chan for everything." She turned to the rest of his family and deeply bowed, remaining bent over in respect. "Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for everything you've ever done. I will never be able to pay you back for your kindness and generosity."

Mamorah's hand pulled her chin up, forcing her to stand. "You gave us as much as we gave you. You offered our son someone to love and we are grateful for that. No need to think of payback. You've done enough K-chan."

She nodded, rapidly blinking. "H - hai."

Feeling neglected, Sam intervened and hugged her. "I hope you'll have some of those same thoughts for me." She lightly admonished, a little sadness laced in her humor.

Arms went around her best friend, embracing just as fiercely. "Of course chica. Está mi hermana y mejora amiga. You think anyone can take that away from me?" She pulled away and gave her friend a smile. "I just hope no one replaces me on your behalf."

Sam sniffed. "No one will be able to replace your cooking, that's for sure." Everyone laughed at the well-placed and much needed humor. "But, you'd better get going...you're running out of time and they always board early."

The pair nodded; a final round of hugs and well wishes spread around. They receded away with some reluctance, walking backward as much as possible until asked for tickets and i.d. Her bag was set for x-ray scanning and Inaki was asked of the contents in the envelope forgotten in his hand.

Curious, fingers ripped the top open and reached in. Two pairs of brown went wide as he pulled out a crisp, five-hundred dollar bill.

He whirled around in shock, eyeing his family and Sam still in the same spot. His parents simply smiled and waved before turning and leading the group to the exit.

His throat clogged. Five hundred dollars!! That was a lot of money and would most likely pay their rent for a whole month! His family already took care of the deposit to hold the apartment and his share in shipping his things over.

There would never be a group of people like his family. He was so lucky to have them and he felt a twinge of guilt to be leaving them when he thought of his future with K. But he had twenty-five years with them; K would get more of his time now.

A smile tipped his lips as he grabbed wallet from his back pocket and safely tucked the money away. Everything from his bank account was emptied and set in traveler's checks taking up the remainder of space. He made doubly sure the wallet chain was clipped to it before setting it firmly in his pocket for safekeeping. Everything they needed in the next few months before things evened out was on his person, a little bit in K's.

Once their stuff was checked and given back and they passed through the metal detector, the pair headed through the terminal, checking for their exit. They had a short wait of standing around, but soon crowded the line with other passengers heading to the first stop as them.

"I can't wait." She breathed, hugging his arm. She looked to him with a grin, stopping as he handed their tickets over to be processed and returned. "I'm kind of scared though." She admitted, cheeks burning at the insinuation of fear. It was pathetic to be afraid since she was the one initiating this.

"It's okay to feel that way." He answered, taking her hand as they headed down the passage to the plane. "After all, we don't know what'll await us when we get there. It's going to take a while, but eventually our trip is going to end and we'll have to wait for our things to find their way to us."

She pouted, watching others in the narrow area around them find their seats and stow bags overhead. "That's going to take forever. Why did we think it was a good idea to send it the same time we were leaving? That company isn't going to get it to us for at least a week."

He smiled and let her have the window aisle, stashing her bag overhead for her before sitting down. "We put everything on rush delivery, so hopefully it won't be so bad." Brown looked past her to the tiny window, absently taking everything in. A hand moved and rested over hers on the armrest. "We'll just have to be patient. Things will turn out."

Soft eyes met him. "Ee. We'll be able to tackle anything, ne? After all, isshoni da ne?"

He returned her smile, tugging his seatbelt tight and giving attention to the steward explaining emergency procedures. "Aa." He mumbled, paying more heed to the feel of her skin than something he went through mere months ago. "Tsuini isshoni."

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100 correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Aitsu wa...doko-Where...is he Tanoshiminishite-I'm looking forward to it Atashi mo-Me too Isshoni da ne-We're together right? Tsuini isshoni-Finally (we're) together

**Spanish language will be translated underneath when it appears together. This language will be correct, as I have half put half a decade into learning.**

**Translations:** Bueno suerte hija-Good luck daughter Está mi hermana y mejora amiga-You're my sister and best friend

AN -- Thus ends the actual Fate and Destiny story. Like I said before, this is a real life ending. I know some people were thinking 'oh come ON! Tokyo?? Lame', but I'm sure if you think of places you've been comfortable in and those you felt like a fish out of water, you'd want to go back to the comfortable. I am putting up an epilogue because even to me, this isn't much of an ending.

I would like to spend extra space and thank all those who reviewed on FFNET: Lunemangelus, Ishakbod, Kage neko, Sunfire-moondesire, Morlana, Bagira, Nanda-callisto, Kimitoshi, Red herring, Daniel-gundam, Spike's Winnebago from hell, 121, anime-gurl1989, aietneh, inu-fanforever, han mei, dragonpink, kody leigh, anime-is-da-bomb, cocacola43, izayoi, eibhlin, kibo, deathless rogue, nite1, laura-chan, contessnicole17, purpleobe, shadow6689, kouen, sueragi kousei, valene, funmaker, fushigi wolf, firefair, drake220, judy, ardinae, bluefuzzyelf, sakura blossom-cilla-85:P, curlsofserenity, corinnetkn24, blackmystic, ks-starshine, ssp51201, kensh1n81, grr, twil, briar noir, gaijinmonoke, yanga, alej, ktgurl, youkai tsuki, aoi, zammie, dove of night, blaze tiger, criystal tears, inuyashagurl2, arashi-shizumi, inuchik, alice, snowecat, mystic-ice, Danielle, Nanda emanuelle, Dea mariella, hypersarcasticinternetaddict, sayo-chan, prettyhoshi, AND tephra. (Hope I got all spelling right on the names)

If you count them up like I did (yes I went back through all 74 chapters), that's SEVENTY-TWO people who bothered to give me even a smiley face to indicate how they liked the story! I am touched so many reviewed once or more than that. Of course I thank those who read and DIDN'T review because I know there are a few out there. I will keep all your reviews in my mailbox because in the future I will reread this for grammar and to fix any Spanish and Japanese errors. I'm glad for the corrections I got because some I wouldn't have considered and you only help make the story that much better for the next person who gives it a try.

Thank you all for sticking with me till the end. The first chapter was finished on 5-13-03 and 'ends' (not including epilogue) on 10-24-04 -- 1 year, 5 months, and 11 days. The story will be fully finished and posted by the first week in November, making this the longest project I've ever worked on. Tis a bittersweet ending to have gone through everything, but I made a few friends in the process, which is amazing to me (you know who you are). I am considering pulling a future AU IY story out of my head, making some bios, and maybe working on it the beginning of the year, but we'll see.

For those who read since the beginning...and to those who read this after its completion (and any future reviews), thank you for giving your time and I hope the ride was worth it in your eyes.

Doomo arigatou gozaimasu minna-san and enjoy the epilogue!!


	76. Epilogue 3,18,2107

Feet trudged up wood steps, weary and heavy. With each set passed, he wondered yet again why they had to live on the fifth floor. He grumbled all the way to the end of the small hall, reaching in his jeans for the house key and shifting past the bike lock key.

Just as he found it, the deadbolt suddenly clacked and a western-style wood door swung in, a vision meeting him.

"Thought I sensed you. Stop standing out in this chill and get in here. You're letting in the cold." Hand gripped wrist and pulled him in. "Don't forget your shoes and don't think about leaving your book bag on in the hallway. I'm tired of always cleaning after you."

He grimaced, not in the mood for a lecture and gave in without a fight. It'd been another long day, as it had for the last three years. Thankfully, this was his final year and then he could start doing more to earn his keep. Living off her teaching salary was sufficient for the two of them, but he felt worthless as a man for only having a low-scale, part-time job right now.

She took his jacket and hung it in a small closet nearby, wordlessly kneeling and untying his shoes, helping him slip out of them. She lined those against the wall, making him wonder why she said anything since she did everything for him. He smiled when she stood and their eyes met.

She fit into the 'woman's role' almost naturally as soon as she adjusted. Using Kagome's memories, it didn't take long to get acquainted...much to his misfortune. She took immediate charge of the apartment and nothing escaped her notice. The place was cleaned and kept the way people around here had their homes with furniture and arrangement. He marveled at that, given the amount of homework she had those first two years and the dedication still given in thought to whoever might visit.

She went back to school to get a teaching degree to high schoolers, specialty being different languages, and he got a full-time job. It was a pretty hectic beginning and had yet to smooth out.

He embraced her, tucking face in shoulder and smelling her scent. Their positions were switched; she was the one supporting them and he was working on building his future and cementing himself. He respected her even more for her responsibility and seeing things through twice. Now he knew why he gave up the first time in the states. Then he was only doing for himself - this time he had reasons.

He wanted to be the one to take care of finances so she didn't have to worry over earning money, since she took care of the household bills and grocery things already. He had a dream of opening a grocery store as a way to be closer to his family, selling half Japanese and American goods.

"How was college? Another long day?"

"I don't want to think of that until I start homework." Hands started to wander in sudden playfulness, feeling his mood lighten. "I like where I'm at right now."

"You...we're not alone you know!" She hissed, trying to keep her body from reacting.

He paused and looked to the end of the short engawa barely hiding them. "Oh yea...I forgot." He mumbled, grinning and returning to his task. It was so easy to slip with all the knowledge he needed to memorize.

She meekly struggled, blushing at the thought of someone walking over and seeing him pressed against her with his hands on her ass. She pushed him back and ruffled short hair, knowing he disliked it. "How could you forget?? They've been here the past two days." As expected, he detached and hands went to straighten the damage.

He was allowed to keep it waist-length at work, since he braided it and stuck it under his shirt. College didn't let him get away with it due to the dress code and made him keep it a little shorter than shoulder length. It was almost as short as it was the time he dyed it those many years ago.

Entrance exams put him at a mid-level college, which was okay... it was a mild blow to know he got into a less prestigious school, considering she got into Tokyo U. That was a given due to her previous experience and near A record prepared to his high school rank. College was a little more lax than the younger years with uniforms, but some still kept a code and this was one of them.

"Not the hair damn it! It's harder to keep now that it's so short."

"Quit whining ototo - you're too old for that."

The pair straightened and looked to the voice. No one was there, but the place was small enough their low voices could be heard.

He snorted and picked up the bag he dropped, striding past the small kitchen into equally short living / dining room. "So says the onna that just thoughtlessly ordered me in my own home." He retorted, leaving against a naked wood beam with a smirk.

Jayden's eyes rolled as she met his gaze with a smile. "I'll tell you if you're being dumb on little things as I want - it's my privilege as your nee-chan."

She walked in, taking in everyone's supplies. She deftly swooped around her extended family and kneeled at the chabudai, picking up the teapot. "Ah, we're out of tea again? I'm sorry, I haven't been paying attention. Please give me a minute and I'll have a new batch ready."

Jayden waved her words away with a free hand, the other supporting her sleeping three-year-old's head. "Daijoubu K-chan - we're taking up your much needed time from grading papers. We should be apologizing."

Her head shook, eyes trained on the filling water heater. "Iie, I'm happy you could come help us celebrate our anniversary. Ne?" She met the eyes of her husband of five years, lips tilting.

He nodded and looked over his family, minus hisofusan who joined his hisobosan two years earlier. "Aa. Hisashiburi."

Kristine smiled from her place by Omo. "Still, we're probably overstaying our welcome. I guess a week was too much after all. We should've taken into account your schedules and planned during a vacation."

She kneeled to the table, setting the steaming pot on its holder. "Nonsense okaasan, it's our fault for leaving you to roam the city all day while we're busy. We should've tried harder to get time off to see to your needs." She stood and met his gaze before giving his clothes a once-over. "So change out of that uniform and spend some time with your shinseki while I go out shopping for tonight's dinner."

Jayden squelched a laugh as he righted and turned. "You have become very adept at taking charge of your husband K-chan."

He ignored his sister's sly look and made to shut sliding doors mapping out the bedroom. "Keh." He retorted.

Hand covered mouth to smother a giggle. "Well I do try...he is a full-time job after all."

"I can still HEAR you!" Everyone laughed as he reappeared in regular clothes and plopped on his zabuton she pulled out.

She stood with a bow and headed for shoes and coat. Spring was just beginning and winter was lagging, but as long as the porch door wasn't open and the front door kept most of the wind out, it stayed warm enough and they didn't need the kotatsu. "Then I'll leave everyone to you Inaki and try to hurry back."

Jayden handed her daughter to Chad and stood. "I'll go with you K-chan."

She startled, hands waving. "Eh? Iie Jayden-gishi! You had some of the afternoon with me - you should spend time with Inaki."

Jayden snorted and slipped into sneakers. "I'll spend more time with him than I want. I like your company better."

"Love you too nee-chan." He sardonically retorted.

"Seriously, let him talk to the others and you can show me around."

She finally nodded. "Hai. Atashi o taskete kudasai." She turned to the living room and bowed. "Ittekimasu."

Inaki nodded and reached for some of the snacks in the middle of the table. "Itterashai."

- - - - -

It was so nice to have the family over. It was a pleasant surprise when Inaki made mention in the letters he regularly exchanged, but sad because Inaki couldn't stop college or work and she couldn't really take a week off from classes.

They saw the family off in the mornings to different places that took a while to roam and money for the train back. She hurried home everyday after classes to accommodate them and try to salvage her job as hostess. It was little comparison of crunching time to everything they did since she arrived.

She could never forget them accepting her into the family when Inaki told her he wanted to marry her. Her thumb went over the simple band on her ring finger. She was truly apart of their family and it was nice to use the names Inaki did. She readily accepted the Yamoi myouji and everything the Buddhist priest said when they were married.

"Nee K-chan, is the store far?"

She startled to attention and took in the area. "Ah, it's a few more blocks. I forgot to tell you where it is. Gomen."

"Iie, I didn't ask. Let's simply continue and forget that."

She nodded, feeling content as they waited for a walk light. It was so nostalgic to dwell on the move, getting her teaching degree, marriage, Inaki working on a business degree, becoming an aunt to Miranda - partially named after Mira, and now their anniversary. Sure it was only five years, but so much happened in that time! She knew things would level out soon, but until then they weren't bored at all.

It was amazing and a feeling of pride to know Inaki was almost done with school. She knew how hard a four-year degree was and thankful she only needed two years to do the job she wanted.

It was mildly easy to get into the university with her g.p.a. and hired at a near high school. They looked at this city's university and her language capabilities as main reasons, even if some were skeptical of her managing their customs. Soon as she proved she wasn't that much of a gaijin - new students kept asking those kinds of questions though - the rest was easy.

They entered past a pair of sliding doors and she returned a few welcomes of those she knew in her many stops over the years.

"It seems you are quite popular here K-chan." Jayden mused, picking up a handcart in mimic.

She smiled and headed for the fruit / vegetable aisle. "Any suggestions or something you'd like tonight Jayden-gishi?"

The woman's face scrunched in thought as she looked around. "I need to see the place before I know for sure. Do you mind?"

She left her sister-in-law to wander and browsed the fruits. They were getting low on a few things and she'd be a bad wife if she couldn't even keep snacks in the apartment.

She was kicking herself for not making a list and so deep in thought of trying to picture inside the cupboards that she didn't sense anything out of the ordinary until something moved in her peripheral vision, what seemed to want her attention. She looked up and the feeling of being watched tickled her senses. Brown widened at spotting red hair and green eyes. Her brow furrowed, knowing he was familiar somehow.

She hesitantly stopped in front of him, rapidly searching her mind of when they met, a smile on her face. "Sumimasen," She bowed, "have I...met you before?" She was suddenly swept in a hug, the handcart clacking to the ground. She blushed, memories rushing back, and almost violently struggling to free herself. "Oi!" She grit, trying not to cause a scene. "Hanaso! You think I'm that easy? If my husband were here, you'd be in trouble."

Whether that non-subtle hint worked, she was released. She picked up the basket off the floor and leveled this man with a glare.

He gave a grin, almost sarcastically. "I knew you two would get married, I just never knew it would take so many years." The man sighed, head shaking. "Didn't even get me an invitation. Ah well, I was there, that's good enough."

Foreboding rang bells in her head. Her heart increased, fearing this man might be following her. "Who are you?"

"I suppose you'd not recognize me...you only knew me as a child. I guess I should finally let you know who I am, since I DID seek you out to tell you something."

She was about to ask over that when the man smiled and a lash of power hit hers. It was like someone pulling back a curtain and exposing everything. Her miko senses quickly flared in defense, but she calmed and tried to figure WHY she some of this youkai aura. She separated the layers and concentrated on the face. Eyes gradually slitted into near cat eyes and normal human teeth turned into animal canines.

This was an illusion spell and she wondered why she never felt this earlier. She knew of two illusionists from Kagome's time - Miroku's tanuki servant and one kitsune.

She blinked, heart fluttering, eyes tearing. She inched forward, heart hopeful. "You're...Shippou-chan?"

Arms swung wide, a floor-length tail wagging. "Kagome."

She quickly embraced him, squeezing and feeling his warmth. "Kami-sama! It IS you! You're alive! Shinjanai yo!" She stepped back and he twirled. She looked to his developed youkai features, quickly looking around to see if anyone was watching. "Shippou-chan...your tail..."

Shippou smiled, the bundle of fur twitching. A paw waved her off. "You're the only one who can really see me Kagome. Humans can't see youkai imagery and I've definitely improved since you lived last. No tail in my transformations."

She nodded and went back to shopping, lest Jayden come back and wonder why she hadn't picked ANYTHING out. "Amazing too. I didn't feel anything from you - I thought you were human." She gave a proud look, beaming at his slightly taller stature. "I'm impressed Shippou-chan."

Shippou smiled, face heating. "Eh, hehe...sou ka? It HAS been many hundreds of years after all." Green turned serious, boring into brown. "I missed you Kagome. Though I can't believe you were reborn AGAIN."

She grinned. "This was all Inuyasha's wish with the shikon, but I hope it's the last."

Auburn brows furrowed. "Where IS that annoyance anyway?"

She handed the basket over and checked out some apples. "It's sitting in a hollow place in Inaki's family's kitchen floor. It will probably continue to remain there now that it has no use for anything except a bizarre reminder of his childhood." She set the catch in the holder and met green. "There has been so much that happened in the months before you and I first met. Inuyasha and Kagome are no more - we now go by Inaki and Kalie."

"Another K name?"

"I guess." She dragged them down the line of wooden stands. "You said you came to tell me something." Bangs shadowed brown as she held a few bananas. "It must be pretty important if you unveiled yourself to me."

There was silence as she finally set the bunch next to everything. A paw snaked out and grabbed hers, squeezing. "I wouldn't have taken such a big step and brought back issues from your other life, even told you I was still alive, if there wasn't the need." Shippou sighed and released her. "There are still a handful of youkai in Japan, though some left to see other countries. If you have any of Kagome's memories, you should know youkai fear all miko, houshi, and taiji-ya. They can feel your power since you don't know or don't bother to hide it. Many wonder why you're here and a lot became concerned when you first visited years ago." A paw rested on her shoulder. "Your being here scares some youkai...they think you're here to finish them off."

Brown widened, annoyance filling her. "That's stupid! Why would I do such a thing...I'm not Kagome and I honestly don't care about youkai! This is an entirely different time!"

"I know that, but they don't. We exist in secrecy and if someone can see past our illusions, panic WILL ensue. Those who dread exposure and know how it used to be think they'll be massacred out of fear."

Fists clenched. "Why...why are you telling me this? After five years... If you knew my whereabouts since I came back, maybe even kept track of me, why not let me know back then??" Misty brown met green. "Wouldn't I have been better not knowing at all?"

She was suddenly met with an irony over those same words asked years ago to herself over Kagome's return. She asked herself that in a time of indecision and overwhelmed being. When standing over the threshold of change, she hesitated to take steps she found were not that big a deal and made her life better in the long run.

Her head shook, shoulders slumping. "No...I'm not Kagome, but I must assume responsibility for her as the only physical representative. I have no need for miko powers, but I didn't need any of this. I suppose none of us ever choose some things in our lives." Eyes staring at empty hands looked around at the grocery store. "What do I need to do? I love this place and don't want to leave, but I won't endanger Inaki and myself."

"I wanted to warn you. If you can, think of a way to concentrate and suppress your powers; that is best. Spells may or may not help, since your power is quite developed with your age. It might be too much to conceal entirely. You can't fool a magician with magic after all."

"What do I do?" Hand clasped paw. "Tell me Shippou-chan, please! Help me hide my abilities - there is no one better I know of than you!"

Shippou patted her hand before slowly retracting it. "As I said, I wouldn't have shown myself if it wasn't important, so I can't remain by your side. Yes I watched you from afar since you returned, but it was all I could do. I want to protect you for all the times Kagome saved me, though I'll never repay that much kindness. If others knew I told you their thoughts, they might just hunt you down in paranoia. I don't want that to happen."

She blinked back tears. "Shippou-chan..."

Shippou blushed as deep as his hair. "I loved Kagome for so many of her qualities and you look exactly like her. I see so much of her in you and it's hard not to make you her. This is the only thing I can do. I'm sorry to put you in this position, but I felt it was better you were aware. I don't want you in unknown danger, but a mini-war will break out if I stay."

She smiled and hugged the kitsune. "I understand Shippou-chan. It's enough to know you're alive and grown to such a handsome youkai."

Shippou blushed, but pulled back enough to move her face with a paw. "You've also become more beautiful than I imagined as an adult."

Warning bells went off. "I'm married Shippou-chan."

Shippou snorted. "And that bastard is damn lucky. But I deserve at least one kiss after the treatment he put me through."

She gave a dry look. "I'm not a prize and you two were both immature to get along." He seemed persistent, so she gave in. "One. But you do it the way Kagome used to kiss you."

The youkai pouted before nodding. His lips descended to her forehead and lingered as long as possible. "You always did hold a favor for him."

"I chose neither of you; I love you both equally. Now let me go - we've caused enough of a scene." The pair separated and tried to be as normal as possible, though she knew the workers would be talking for a while. She took the basket and went to looking at fruit again, wondering how many were watching. "Thank you for coming to me Shippou-chan. I'll try to be more conscious of my power from now on. I don't know how, but I'll look through Kagome and Kikyou's memories for anything." There was no answer and she looked up, finding herself alone. She turned full circle, scanning the area. "Shippou-chan??"

He was gone. She didn't see one tuft of red anywhere.

Brown sadly trailed to the floor, misting a little. "Sayonara...Shippou-chan..."

She moved on to the end of the row, contemplating the abrupt change in her life. She wouldn't take his appearance for granted. She wouldn't try to see how many youkai - or even hanyou for that matter - were out there; it would be better to feign mild ignorance. She would just be aware they existed and adjust a little to it.

Midoriko did what she could to put them out of harm's way in the future, but the powerful woman couldn't predict they would survive so many hundreds of years. She wasn't angry her dream of a regular, dull life was not there anymore - she could still be that way with a few modifications and soon it would be natural to act that way as well.

"Mou K-chan, you haven't done much shopping while I was away."

She whirled around, brown lighting on brown. "Jayden-gishi!" She kind of forgot about her sister-in-law roaming the place.

The woman gave a sheepish smile. "Ah...sorry I took so long. I ended up in a discussion over grocery stores with a manager who asked if I needed help."

She smiled. "Daijoubu. We should get done and hurry back. I know what to cook now."

Jayden blinked, head tilting. "What would that be?"

Brown looked far away to a time when someone looking just like her was on a picnic with a group of friends, giving oyaku donburi to an adorable little redhead... "Something I haven't had in a long time."

- - - - -

"Sorry I took so long K-chan."

She let Jayden pass outside first, adjusting her grip on the bags. "Please don't worry yourself Jayden-gishi. I was the one dragging us everywhere."

The pair fell instep as they started back home. "I DID slow us down by checking everything on the shelves." Jayden grinned. "When you work in a grocery store, you tend to notice little things and apply them to other places."

"I know what you mean; I tend to get annoyed if my kitchen isn't clean from my time at the hotel." She looked to her right, eyeing the woman. Raven brows furrowed. "Jayden-gishi? What's wrong?" Jayden was a little pale, eyes somewhat wide. She looked ahead and easily spotted what changed her friend.

Sitting barely in the shadow of an alley was a fox. It was larger than any she saw, its head coming nearly to the sill of a near window. Hands clutched the bags in trepidation until it blinked one eye. Her brow furrowed, a smile forming as she spotted green eyes.

Slowly, hoping she was right, she sidled closer. "K-chan, matte!" Jayden hissed, looking for someone. She feared to move, lest they be attacked. "Abunai - don't go any closer!"

"Daijoubu Jayden-gishi. Kitsune-san won't harm us." She kneeled and met the fox eye to eye. "Ne Shippou-chan?" She whispered. The fox's tongue lolled from its mouth, giving an almost happy expression. She dug in a bag and pulled out an apple. "Arigatou Shippou-chan."

_Sayonara janai Kalie._ Gently taking the fruit with his fangs, green met brown one last time in silent communication before the youkai dashed into the alley, swallowed in darkness.

She stood and grabbed plastic before turning to her wide-eyed relative. "We should hurry back before Inaki goes searching for me."

Jayden fell in step, looking back to the alleyway. "What just happened K-chan?! That fox was huge! How can they exist in such a city??"

She looked to the sky, the quiet tenor still ringing in her head. "I'm sure he'll find a way..."

The second Jayden put her bags down on the kitchen counter; she started recalling their 'freak encounter'. She left the woman to describe beginning to end, secure in knowing none of them would truly understand. She set about getting vegetables cut and things to boil for dinner, letting Kristine help upon insistence.

He listened to his sister ramble on, recognition tickling his senses. Brown watched his wife work, brow furrowing.

"And K-chan was so brave! She walked right up to it and kneeled in its face! She even gave it an apple from her hand and it didn't bite her. It was so amazing!"

She looked to the living room sheepishly. "You're exaggerating Jayden-gishi. I wasn't THAT great."

"You don't take into consideration its size. I bet it would've stood to your waist."

He cut off the complimenting and stood, serious brown meeting brown. Without a word, he strode around everyone and clasped her wrist, stopping her cutting. "Okaasan, I need to speak with my wife. May I leave dinner to you for a few minutes?"

She knew this was serious by the way his eyes never left hers. She turned to Kristine with a polite smile. "Would you please finish chopping the vegetables and put them to boil? I'll be back soon to help. I apologize for being taken away."

"Atashi ni makasete. It sounds like you've had quite the time."

Shippou's grown face popped into her mind. "Yea..."

He dragged her outside and all the way to the roof. They were given a good view eight stories up and she took a second to admire it.

He stopped near the ledge and kneeled to sit on a small sill. Brown absently watched clothes drying of one of the tenants. "Jayden will never be able to tell me everything. I want to know what really happened."

Wistful brown looked to the start of the setting sun. "It sounds like you already know."

"I want to hear it from you." He stood and walked to her, spinning her around with a grip on her chin to read her eyes. "A fox...with green eyes. Sounds an awful lot like that gaki."

"You two never got along." Brown rolled as she made to step away, but he wasn't letting go. "Yes it was Shippou."

His grip tightened on her chin. "What did he say to you?"

A brow rose. "What makes you think I didn't just find him? My miko skills are better than that you know. You think the worst of him...how do you know he didn't try to reconcile after so long?"

"Because he's not that stupid. If Shippou was that excited to see you, he would've made his presence known years ago. Youkai have always been safe by hiding from humans. It's too curious that he came into the light. What. Did. He. Say?"

She sighed. "I didn't plan on telling you this because this is my problem. Apparently there are still some youkai out there and Shippou feels I'm in danger."

Brown slowly closed as realization hit. "Because you have the necessary skills to defeat them."

She looked at him and bit her lip, trying to stare past bangs shadowing eyes. "As long as I find a way to keep my power hidden I should be okay. Shippou uses a spell that masks his looks and whatnot to humans. Only other youkai, miko, and houshi will see through it. If I practice and search my memories, I'm sure I can find a way too."

He crushed her to him, burying face against shoulder. He was silent for a while, digesting everything and comprehending the meaning of this. "Did he say anything else?" He mumbled.

A hand ran through his hair, trying to calm him. "He won't make himself known again because he felt that would make me a target by telling me. He knew who I was from meeting us on the trip years ago and will continue keeping watch over us."

He reared back, eyes wide. "THAT guy?!"

She grinned. "I figured the red hair and green eyes would've gave him away."

He tried not to glare. "This is no time for jokes. We have to figure out a way to get out of this mess."

"There is little to do. I was born like this, as were Kagome and Kikyou. I'll look into suppressing it, but that's all I can do. I won't leave a place I call home."

He mouth closed, intending on suggesting that. "Whatever needs to be done, we'll do it together. No more of this 'I' stuff."

A sly grin formed. "Well then Mr. Yamoi...how about you let me get back to cooking dinner and give your okaasan a break by helping?"

He stepped back, disbelieving he set himself up like that. "Y - you know my cooking doesn't compare to yours. I'd rather feed our family your genius and buy time until dinner."

She snorted and grabbed shirt, practically dragging him to the stairs and unimpressed by his flattery. "Give me the easy job, ne?" She paused at the door, not letting go. "I understand what you mean. I'll probably be leaning on you over this until it's over, so I hope you can handle it."

He took her hand and kissed knuckles. "You're my wife - I'll always be there when you need me...no matter what I've got going on."

------------------------------

She snuggled a little closer to him in the futon, tucking her chin against the back of his head. Very low light filtered through curtains over the porch door, spilling shadows everywhere. She watched them, idly looking around the living room, though she had to be up in six hours to make breakfast and get to school.

Sometime soon, she would find a few free minutes and meditate to look back in her past lives and search for any spells she might be able to use. Youkai and miko could use the same things, but get different results and she knew there was something in Kikyou's life at least. There was a time when the woman went into hiding from Naraku to keep safe and she would study that. If a kekkai was what she needed, she'd do what was necessary.

Brown stared at pitch inches away, watching her breath blow a few strands. She wouldn't endanger herself, her husband, or her precious family. Youkai would go to full lengths to destroy any menace that would hurt them. She needed to think of every possibility until the end, but it was just a matter of recalling everything. Not all of them were low-level or evil - many of those would've been killed years ago from starting trouble and lashing out in the first place. It was just a precautionary measure they had against the natural fear from humans.

All she had to do was convince everyone she wasn't a threat. When put into feral animal terms, once something more powerful than the other showed a base level of trust, it was seen differently. If she constructed a kekkai or whatever and allowed some time, youkai would slowly lose interest.

The blanket suddenly shifted and nearly made her cry out in surprise. She was so stuck in her mind, she hadn't registered Inaki at all - even though they were back to front - until he shifted to face her. "Nani kangaete?" He breathed, trying not to wake everyone. The bedroom doors were gone to create a large sleeping area for everyone. His grandparents and parents got the bedroom, while the young ones took the living area. It was only polite to do so, since there was more light here than there. Jayden, Chad, and Miranda were only a foot away with their own futon and he didn't want to wake Miranda and essentially the whole floor with her cries.

She tried to meet his eyes in the darkness. "How did you know I was still asleep?" She whispered back.

He grinned. "I'm a light sleeper and your heart rate didn't slow in the past hour. Nani kangaete?"

"About this afternoon. I was just taking a free minute to get my thoughts in order and ponder all this."

He frowned. "You've got a lot to do - you should be getting your sleep. I know this is detrimental, but you'll suffer if you don't get some shut-eye."

She smiled, the hand at his waist rising to run through his hair. "Arigatou. I know you're worried for my health, but I'll be fine." Brown softened as she watched the bliss of her action chase over his face. "It'll be simple once I figure out the correct spell. I have a small inkling of how things need to go, so we'll be okay. I'm not that worried now that I know."

He nodded. "Get some sleep." He shifted to let her turn her back to him, holding her tight against his chest. There was enough room in the futon, theirs wide enough to hold two people, but he liked her close. The feel of her body in a nonsexual way gave him piece of mind and calmed him to know she was unscathed and totally healthy for another day.

This wasn't something he wanted brought up now that their lives were finally getting in order. He would finish school soon, get ideas about how he would run his future store, and soon make it happen. This issue easily put his plans on hold - though they were still a while away - and he would make sure she was safe before continuing.

He thought of something totally off topic earlier, though still related to this miko-power-youkai thing. He wanted children with this woman when they had the money to support one. Even though he was thirty-three and she thirty, there was no hurry. He was content to have her all to himself until a mix of them was created.

It was a sad thought to think of the chance their child having any kind of spiritual powers. There was the possibility if Kalie passed it down the line, but she wouldn't let their child come into the world without protection. Whatever spell she could use to help her would be passed to the next generation.

He wasn't a big lover of kids - Miranda was tolerated because she was family and adorable in her own way - but it was different for your own. Seeing a mix of his features with hers would spark something inside and he realized that. It gave him hope to have what his grandmother was goading him into the past two years and give her a grandchild from his side.

He grinned and pressed a kiss to her hair. It was braided to keep out of the way, as she let it continue to grow. It just touched the bottom of her rear, as long as Kikyou's was, but without bangs. They grew as well and were three times as long as in the past. She looked very beautiful with such long hair and Jayden loved playing with it whenever possible.

There weren't that many changes in his family's life compared to his. The death of his hisofusan was the largest thing, the birth of Miranda being the second. His grandparents fully owned the store and his parents did more managing of previous jobs without him and Jayden around. Of course she helped her family when they asked, but what time wasn't being taken up by Chad and her daughter was spent working in a beauty shop she soon intended on taking over.

He feared for the future of his family's business, since that was the only income and all they knew for work, but was reassured they could hire someone part-time to do the things he did or at least even out work a little more. He was comforted in the last option of getting a larger apartment and bringing the older generations to live with them. He didn't know how that would work out with the house and was loathe to let it go to anyone else and banished the thoughts.

'Things have come into play that K and I weren't ready for in the past and we got through. We managed every day since we came to this land and we'll continue to do so. Everything will work out somehow if we only believe they will and have faith in the unknown. If I worry and fret about something that hasn't even happened, I will only harm myself in the now.'

K's miko powers could be hidden, his college job would turn into a manager / owner position into his own store, his sister would continue to help their family, and the business wouldn't fizzle out anytime soon. Though in their thirty's, there was still time to have a child. They would both love it unconditionally and protect it to the fullest extent of their lives. That was all he needed to keep in mind at this moment - everything else could be pondered later.

A hand ran over his wife's arm, feeling cotton of her sleeping clothes and wished it were skin. He wanted to tell her so much of his love and its depth in this moment of epiphany, but settled for a deep kiss to the small, exposed part of her shoulder. Her hand rose and entwined with his, holding it next to her breast in silent communication of understanding.

**I am a BEGINNER Japanese learner...so if these are not 100 correct...please let me know if you care to do so. I only have a web page to learn from, a dictionary, and a few months experience to work with.**

**Translations: **Shinseki-Family/relatives Kotatsu-Table with heater -Gishi-Older sister-in-law Atashi o taskete kudasai-Please help me/Please give me help Shinjanai yo-I don't believe it

Oyaku donburi-Chicken and eggs on rice Sayonara janai Kalie-It's (this) isn't goodbye Kalie Atashi ni makasete-Leave this to me Nani kangaete-What are you thinking (of)

And so the story ends. Again thanks to everyone who enjoyed and reviewed after I finished this - they are all very appreciated and make my day. For those who wonder over Sesshoumaru's existence, like I put down in the story - if he's still alive, he'd be seriously getting up there in years. lol It seems crappy for Shippou to do another cameo, but I explained why...also that it's not over. He's not disappearing except to the shadows of invisibility. Bios will be up soon of Sam, Inaki, and Kalie, and all the terminology of both Spanish and Japanese back to chapter 1 on my site (I doubt ffnet will let me post them). I'll fix that in time when I redo this in the future.

Thanks for your thoughts, your time, and goodwill. It makes my day and I hope your road in life isn't as angsty as I put my characters through. ;) lol


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